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Our state has a curfew for those under 18 so it's 11 on weeknights and midnight weekends. Don't other states have curfews? For the most part my kids were fine with following that in high school. After 18 it's more about being considerate.

I would be ok with it if it was legal in my state. I've been starting to do some limited research on CBD oil, which uses the part of the plant that does not make you high. I have severe chronic pain. I am awaiting a consultation for a possible surgery but it's going to take months. In the meantime my pain level makes it hard in my daily life. I had a cousin almost die from Tylenol overuse so I'm definitely open to finding out if the CBD would help me. We know people who moved to Colorado so their son could use marijuana and it helped his epileptic seizures immensely. I don't know enough about MJ if I would actually use it (if legal). I would not allow someone to smoke it in my house or use at all if it were illegal.

I'm just honestly curious. Why would it be considered a swear word to say? I know there are also other meanings but they are all religious. For instance the Tabernacle Choir. Is that considered a swear word?

I didn't know that. I'm curious about that one.

A Facebook friend of mine posted a picture with her sister. She is an adult but I just didn't get the humor in her shirt that contained the F word 8 times-F it, F him, F her etc. I just find it in poor taste.

I actually find it somewhat interesting especially how some words in other languages aren't considered bad and vice versa. I'm definitely interested in the origin of how swear words were even developed. I came from an upbringing of certain words were wrong-no debate. I feel sorry for my mom especially since so many words were bad. I'm not one to swear a lot at least by today's standards but it would have been very difficult to live by those rules. My mom couldn't even say gosh :(

I definitely agree with the Bible verses and social expectations of not using dirty language. I guess what I'm asking or rather what my daughter is asking is why is a word considered "dirty". There are words that are explicit in their meanings and to me those are more obvious. For instance why in some circles would darn it or dang it be ok but not damn it. I was always taught by my parents that it wasn't classy in addition to religious reasons. My kids say it is so prevalent in college that even professors (and some high school teachers) use the F word all the time.

My young adult children seem to be questioning their beliefs a bit (I talked about it in another post) Of course it's more complex than this but one thing that concerned me was their belief that there is nothing wrong with swearing. Someone pointed out that swearing is cultural not religious and it really has me thinking. Why do some people think swearing is wrong? I'm not debating whether or not it is but the reasons for the believing that it is wrong. My grandparents were very against swearing of any kind. My parents couldn't use words that I don't even consider swear words like darn it or shoot. They were told that those words were too close to other words. My parents wouldn't allow actual swear words but weren't as strict. It was tied to religion for both my grandparents and parents. I taught my children that swearing was wrong but I was more strongly opposed to words such as the F word. I won't say my kids never heard me swear when they were little-mostly if I hurt myself I might say -amn it. I'm not opposed to them saying that now. Now if I'm really mad at my husband I may use other words (And then feel guilty for it because of my upbringing. I know. Silly me.) My husband didn't swear nearly as much as he does now when the kids were young. Now He does especially when he is driving but he goes beyond swearing and will say things that are a lot more vulgar in my opinion. That part really bothers me. I know my kids are grown but I still don't want my 18 year old thinking it's ok to be vulgar (different from swearing) Honestly my kids didn't really swear most of their lives (at least in front of me). I will admit sometimes I would cringe when we would visit my parents and they would say something like dang it. I don't count that as swearing but my parents did. It seems silly now that I worried. When I had a discussion with my 21 year old daughter she also really had me thinking. My kids don't swear in front of me but I've heard them from the other room and my dd also says she is different at college. My daughter's argument was what makes a swear word a swear word? I'm not talking about anything with God in front of it because I do feel that's different. She said who even decided certain words are bad. They are just a collection of letters and most aren't even in the dictionary so do they truly have any meaning besides what people may give them? I really have mixed feelings about this because I was brought up so differently but I do see her point. Of course because society decided swearing isn't proper in certain circumstances my kids wouldn't swear in an inappropriate place (at work, at family gatherings etc). Actually my kids probably swear a lot less than their peers. In fact I don't think I've ever heard my 18 year old swear. I'm sure he might while playing video games with his friends but doesn't in front of me. They've asked me why I feel it is tied to religion and not acting "Christian like" but I didn't really have a good answer for them. Please enlighten me but be nice :).

You guys are great! So many good perspectives. Thank you!

Stacey thanks for starting this thread. There are some good suggestions here that I will use for my own young adults.

Good point. It's not that I expect them not to have their own beliefs or have questions. I for sure don't have the same exact beliefs as my parents and my parents didn't keep all the beliefs of their parents. I think it's more the fact that they caught me by surprise since only a year or two their beliefs were so different. Of course I would be sad if they completely changed their beliefs. I guess that is what I'm more worried about. Also I feel my younger two are really torn about what they believe and are searching for answers. They see the majority of the world acting a certain way and then start to feel something must be wrong with them if they don't feel that way. They've never been ones to worry about peer pressure but I think it's starting to get to them a bit. I also feel that certain values remain the same throughout the years even if a lot of the population doesn't feel that way. What was considered improper when my grandparents were young is certainly different from the way it is now and I believe that is a good thing. Yet as a Christian I don't think things like the 10 commandments change. For instance killing someone will always be wrong. It also definitely doesn't help that my dad is making me feel so guilty. I love my dad but he is pretty set in his ways. He is pretty devastated about my oldest moving in with her boyfriend, even more so since they have not been in a long term relationship. He is now making me feel like it's my fault that I didn't do more to prevent it. I keep on telling him she is 24 but he still thinks I should be able to control her.

It's just so hard. I know ultimately it's their decision and their business but I've spent the last 24 years being a mom and trying to instill my beliefs and values it's hard to stop now. Since my husband never wanted to be involved in a church it really affected us. He insisted that we go to a Lutheran church because that is the way he was loosely brought up. His family rarely went to church. He only went for baptism and confirmation. He refused to try any other churches and feels they are almost cultish. Of course the kids picked up on his attitude. I have no problem with being Lutheran and we went to a Lutheran church when the kids were really young but when we moved it was more difficult to go to that church because of the distance. There weren't any Lutheran churches near us and he refused to go to another church so we stopped. Ironically my oldest had the most religious training because she went to a Christian high school and in college was in a Christian sorority. For some reason she has just really changed in the last year or two. She still considers herself Christian but her values are changing and she is also questioning things. All of this is somewhat normal at her age but I don't want her to turn her back on religion because of her boyfriend. My younger two (21 and 18) do not want to be in any Christian organizations in college or be part of any groups at a church. They consider themselves Christian but just seem to be struggling with some of their beliefs especially since the world seems against what they grew up believing.

This is a spin off thread regarding book suggestions for those possibly questioning their faith. Sorry this is very long but it is weighing heavily on me. I was brought up in a Christian home and attended church regularly. My parents were very conservative-didn't drink at all, didn't swear at all, didn't believe in living with or even staying overnight with your boyfriend. They didn't even want me to spend the night with my soon to be husband the week before our wedding. They were somewhat strict with me but not overly so (as far as curfews etc) I definitely had my less than perfect moments especially in college but I did try to respect my upbringing and maintain my values as much as possible. I am Christian but not ultra conservative like my parents. I'm far from perfect but try to follow biblical principles. My husband considers himself a Christian. I'm not doubting that he is but the way he talks and acts is very different from the way I was brought up. He was brought up very differently from me. When my children were younger we attended church but even though my husband didn't go to church growing up he was very particular about what church we attended, which really limited us. We moved when my youngest was 4, which made it more difficult to attend our church. Unfortunately we eventually stopped going. I still had a lot of talks with my kids about Christianity. When they were younger I read them stories from the Bible. Throughout their lives I have made sure to share my faith with them and even though we didn't go to church very often I consider them to be brought up in Christian home. As they have become young adults we continue to have conversations about faith. They were all baptized and I know they consider themselves Christian. My oldest attend a Christian high school. She went to a secular college but was in a Christian sorority. Up until recently I feel her faith has been strong. Lately I'm feeling like a bit of a failure as a Christian mom like I should have done more. I know that being a Christian is a personal decision and as adults it is up to them what that looks like. I don't believe that you aren't a Christian if you do or don't do certain things necessarily but I do think as a Christian you should try to follow what is in the Bible. For instance I was brought up that you can't drink as a Christian but I don't agree with that. I think that if you drink too much and then act inappropriately it's not the best example but that doesn't mean you aren't a Christian. I feel you don't have to try to be perfect. I've been struggling with some of my oldest daughter's decisions, especially since they are so different from her own beliefs and ideas just a year or two ago. I also think that she is also questioning her faith and some of what the Bible says. She is also getting serious about her boyfriend. They have only been dating (long distance) for a very short time but are moving in together this summer. Up until recently she has wanted to marry someone who is a Christian. When I asked her if he was a Christian she hesitated and just said they have the same values. I'm not sure if that is true and now I think it is contributing to her questioning her values and beliefs. Even in my own marriage it has caused problems not really having the same beliefs. I was head over heals in llove with my husband but didn't care at that age if religion was important to him. Now I wish I had someone I could pray with or at least know that he is praying for me. I wish we could feel comfortable talking about Biblical things but I don't think he has the same beliefs as me. I also wish he wanted the kids go to Sunday school and youth group when they are younger. I wish all my kids had Christian friends. As the kids got older he started acting differently (especially things like very foul language) but we also just aren't on the same page on a lot of things. My daughter knows this and I told her that I love her dad but I really regret that I didn't place more emphasis on our spiritual life and how I wanted our kids to be raised before we got married. At this point I don't think she is thinking about that at all. It's her choice but I'm worried she will regret it. Recently I had a talk with my other daughter (21). I was surprised by some of what she said . It made me realize that my kids don't necessarily have the same beliefs that I do. I know they believe in a God and believe that Christ died on the cross for us but I think they are questioning whether they believe everything in the Bible. This is part of what I feel guilty about. I really studied the Bible as a kid in Sunday school and youth group. We not only talked about Bible stories but also talked a lot about Christian values and why God wanted is to behave a certain way. Like I said I did do some of that with my kids but they didn't study the Bible nearly as much as I did. I never really questioned biblical principles as a young adult. I just knew certain things were right and wrong. I did struggle somewhat with drinking a fair amount in college but I believed in waiting to have sex or moving in with someone until you were married. My kids also question why God allows bad things to happen to good people. They also question things like why some sins are considered worse than others. People tell lies all the time (at least white lies). That is a sin but why is something like premarital sex considered a worse sin? My kids say that is just the say the world is now. I was taught swearing was wrong. I won't deny that I won't occasionally say a swear word for instance if I hurt myself but I don't go around saying the F word. My husband didn't swear too much when the kids were young but now especially when he is driving his language is awful. Also just the way he will talk when he is referring to someone or sometimes when we are arguing his language really upsets me. I don't have a problem with saying something like -amn but I think the F word is different. My kids don't get it. What even makes a word a swear word? Who even started it? Why are some words worse than others? They won't say God before a swear word because they feel that is "taking the Lords name in vain" but see nothing wrong with swearing. They don't swear around me but I do hear them doing it and they say they do a lot at when I'm not around. In the grand scheme of things swearing isn't that big of a deal but bothers me more that they do it "just because that's rhe way the world is". A bigger concern is their attitude towards living with someone before they are married. A few years ago my girls always thought this was wrong. They also told me that they were saving themselves for marriage. I know this is definitely their decision and they are adults. Now they both don't have a problem with living with someone. My younger daughter doesn't agree with her sister moving in with her boyfriend because she barely knows him. It's s bit of a different situation. I won't get into it again because I've discussed it here before. I was surprised though that my middle daughter feels it is ok to live with your boyfriend. She says that is just the way things are done now. She feels you won't know if you can handle living with a person until you try it and it's best to try it before you make the commitment of marriage. I always believed that you got to know a person well enough through dating and that you don't move in with someone until after you are married. She also said that no one waits for sex before marriage. Even though so far she has waited she feels she will never find a guy if that is the criteria. I feel it is a sin but both my daughters feel it is outdated. I said that what's right and wrong don't change just because a higher percentage of the population is doing something wrong. I said that I had the same struggles when I was their age but they think that things are different now. They believe in God but don't necessarily think that everything in the Bible should be taken literally and also people seem to pick and choose what is relevant to modern times. I agree with some of what they are saying but feel some of the basic truths still haven't changed. I know it is ultimately their decision but I wish I could have guided them better. My dad is making me feel really bad because I didn't really bring them up going to church regularly. I really thought I was doing ok up until now. My oldest daughter will not change her mind and would not be open to reading a book discussing this. My younger daughter and also my son (18) would be more open to reading a book and I would appreciate recommendations-not only something to help them with questioning their faith but perhaps something that would relate to being a young adult in today's environment yet maintaining Christian values. If you've read this far thank you. This parenting adults thing is hard. They all are ready to "fly" but I just hope they fly in the right direction.

This is very timely for me as I have some young adults who I believe are perhaps questioning their beliefs and what is really true. They were brought up in a Christian home but I think their beliefs are changing and perhaps being persuaded by professors in college as well as some friends. I also think they question sometimes why bad things are happening to good people and why God allows it. Not to hijack your thread but I'm also looking for a book that isn't preachy but talks about how what is taught in the Bible still holds true even though society is changing. actually think I will start a spin off thread but thank you for bringing this up.

I think that's one of the scariest things. It sounds like it was just a bunch of stupid teens here. I'm not sure yet. I have heard reports from police scanners that it was over 500 people. Regardless many people were very scared. I saw videos of people rushing down escalators to get out of the mall. It was also in several different areas in the mall so hard to get away from. It seems like it was a flash mob type thing but involved fighting.

Thank you!

I'm trying to find out more information about the one by us but so far they aren't giving a reason. I'm just glad my kids don't go there too often anymore.

Apparently it's happening all over the country but we had one with over 500 people at a mall near me. Pretty scary.

I know someone already posted about items not making it on time for Christmas but I was worried this wouldn't be read since Christmas is over. We are huge Cubs fans and I ordered an ornament for two of my kids for Christmas. I ordered them about a week apart. They were guaranteed delivery by Christmas. I received one but not the other. I called today and they think it was lost in the mail. Now they are backordered and we won't get it for 4-6 weeks. They ordered another one but I didn't think to ask for some kind of compensation since they did not get it here on time. Also at the time that I ordered it I didn't think to look at what happens if it wasn't received by Christmas. It seems like a pretty useless guarantee if we didn't receive it on time and they did nothing to compensate. I called them last week and was told it was still on the way and that we would receive it by Saturday but the lady I talked to today said there was no tracking so there was no way they could have known that. She has no idea why I was told that. I know it seems silly to be upset but it broke a 24 year tradition I had of giving my kids ornaments for Christmas.