This is really interesting. I‘ve heard of so many stories of faith journeys but none of faith exits.

Oh I love Traumdeutung! 🙂 1. Interesting that you called it RAT; your subconscious often uses words to hide unpalatable feelings you are having. Are you keeping a secret or did you tell someone else’s? Did you call the police on someone?

This is so interesting. I’ve always been curious about people who profess to be Christians but don’t know the Bible or attend church. I remember once reading this poll on Trump supporters in 2016; among the questions were “Would you describe yourself as a Christian?” and “How often do you attend church?”. The highest populated group polled were Christians who attend church once per month or less. I don’t know if that’s common here, but in very liberal metropolitans, if you are one of the small fraction of Christians that would admit it on a poll, you would definitely attend church weekly or more. ETA: I should have added that in my experience, labeling oneself a Christian is a slightly embarrassing admission of being in an out-group, which is perhaps why I’m so interested in people who like the label yet aren’t invested in its tenets. Like, there are a thousand interesting things to do on a Sunday morning, why go to church if you don’t really believe in God?

Interesting! So do all the people who attend church believe in its doctrines? Or are there people who go to church weekly and not profess any of it?

I’ve only ever lived in metropolitan cities in Europe that are either agnostic about Christianity or contemn it. I had one (!) Christian friend who attended church growing up. I suppose there is a small benefit to living in “Sodom and Gomorrah”: the number of Christians is so small that their profession reliably indicates authentic faith. I’m always so curious about these Midwest states with churches on every corner. Does everyone go to church? How does it feel to know so many Christians? Does everyone know doctrine? Does everyone pray?

I knew a man who loved Rush Limbaugh and would quote him and share his opinions, etc. He was angry all the time. I could never reconcile his rage with his profession of faith and I eventually stopped all contact because it was exhausting being around so much anger.

It’s okay to not like any of them. But teenagers would be better off writing about the history of a phone book than about themselves, they spend enough time meditating on themselves in social media as it is.

I wrote exactly zero personal essays in my IB literature and writing classes because my teachers thankfully understood that teenagers aren’t interesting enough in their life experiences to warrant navel-gazing pages of narrative. We wrote about The Crucible and Waiting for Godot and House of Spirits, because those things are worth writing about.

Thank you. I’m having trouble with this world moving along. Every question is senseless: „Would you like lunch?“ no, my dad is dead. „Do you want creamer with that?“ no, my dad is dead. „What are your plans for summer?“ I don’t know because my dad is dead. I‘m trying to move on but I‘m stuck in a time loop. Thank you for listening to me from behind this glass. I can hear you and I’m sorry for posting such alarming things.

Some of you may remember my early-60s, vaccinated (twice) and healthy father got Covid in December. He died this week in the hospital. I am grieving. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know why I am posting here, other than to ask: what do I do? What do you do when someone you love enormously, eternally dies? I wake up every hour and wonder Now What? I feel like a shell of my former self. Two years of psychological hell, I stayed calm, unflappable to help those around me. Two years of masks, cancelled school, activities, health anxiety, I smiled and soothed them: It Will Be Okay. And then my father just…dies. Today I thought, I should cut my hair. That’s seems like A Thing I Can Do. Or I should exercise. I need to do something to return to the world, the world bustles and laughs and moves on while I’m standing behind this cloudy glass, looking in. What do I do?

Your current streak changes if you skip a day. Your max streak is the longest consecutive days you’ve played, which is why it is the same number as the current until you skip playing a day.

There is a type of woman who works very hard to “not need”. She has a pervasive sense that to be needy is shameful and “too much”. Worse yet, if she somehow exposed that need to her family, they would shrink from it, or contemn it, because it’s “too much” and she’s “too needy”. The feeling of too muchness is like a stain you try to scrub away or hide, but it lingers. I only say this because you talk about being the glue, and people (rightly) try to encourage you to rest and take care of yourself. But I don’t think that’s necessarily the best advice for this type of woman, so take it with a grain of salt! 🙂

It’s interesting that you can locate the thing that “broke” you. You want to really annihilate someone’s spirit? Take the deepest, most awful belief they hold about themselves and then confirm it in your own words.

The feeling of “not being that person” anymore is actually true; it describes the feeling of losing innocence (or uncovering something that used to be hidden). In the truest sense, you aren’t that person anymore, because you know something new that can’t be unknown and it changes you on an essential level. It is a death (of a former you). There is a saying that holiness isn’t innocence, but meeting and conquering an evil.

Buy a gift bag and wrap 1. his favorite special drink (coffee, whiskey, etc.) 2. a box of fancy popcorn, 3. an Amazon gift card. Make his favorite breakfast and (the night before to save time) bake his favorite cookies. Go out to dinner. Then watch a movie at home and “celebrate” at night. 😉 Men are very simple and this formula never fails.

Do you not like bowling? Or networking events?

I’ve bought maybe 10-15 items from ThredUp. Their return process is annoying, especially if you are a regular Amazon Prime user. Their clothes are good quality, but their shoes aren’t great. IMO ThredUp is severely overpriced. They list their clothes‘ *original* prices and then their reduced price, which is so odd because none of these things are new or even currently sold so those prices are utterly irrelevant. Then they prices according to label, not item, which is annoying, because most thrift stores have set pricing for plain t-shirts vs. blouses, etc. That being said, if you are in the market for a very specific brand and you know exactly the size you need, it’s worth it. I find coats and jackets are the best purchase from ThredUp.

There is an omission so glaring that I had to read it twice: why are they still happily married? This woman had a multiple-year affair with another man (some visits even occurred while Falwell Jr. was in the room!) and the reporter apparently doesn’t find it noteworthy? There is a psychological defense occurring here, which means that whatever actually happened is worse for Falwell than publicly being cheated for 7 years by his wife, losing his career and being made a public spectacle.

There must be something „sticky“ in the brain about Schrank. I think it’s the „platonic ideal“ of the word for „tall wooden structure in the room“; that‘s why even English speakers reach for it as soon as they learn it. 😉

I speak what my family affectionately calls Germalish, which is when you throw the German word you can never remember into your conversation. I can never remember the English word for Schrank, it’s like a mental block, so everyone in my vicinity is forced to learn it’s meaning (same for Geschwindigkeit, Buntstifte and „doch!“).

First of all, your mom has a host of issues that are totally unrelated to you (the desire to be the “young one”, contempt for her child, etc.) and it would be best to remove those issues and label them clearly “not mine”. Don’t get tangled up in them. Secondly, competitive people will take any on-ramp to compete, so it’s best to avoid giving them the signal. I would say nothing about feeling ill and only talk about neutral or positive things. A lot of people never discuss their illnesses for a variety of reasons (they don’t like pity, they are embarrassed, etc.) so there is nothing unusual about it. Thirdly, I would focus on making yourself strong. Spend more time doing things and less time ruminating. Confident, healthy people are active in the most basic of ways. Once you have more faith in your own abilities it will be a lot easier to ignore your mom’s issues.

I live in LA and Universal is definitely a place you can visit for a day. Depending on your children’s ages and energy levels, Disneyland can require a “recovery” day following. ETA: nevermind, wrong state

My children are 3, 5 and 7; they like playing a game wherein the game-master thinks of a categorical group which contains a and b, but not c (“I’m thinking of a group that contains cats and dogs, but not goldfish”, so it can be mammals or words with 4 letters, etc.). So now I’m looking for an analogue for analogies, what are fun games that introduce them to young children?

What to do when you get into a car accident! Believe it or not, I got into my first fender-bender at 21 and no one had ever told me what to do! I had no idea if I was supposed to hand the other person my license, or if I should call the police, or take pictures. It’s surprisingly not intuitive at all.

Ooh I love those nights! I always eat some non-food dinner (like Hot Cheetos and grapes), read books in my sweatpants and apply some hydrating, garish face mask and paint my nails. Then I finish the evening with an episode of Golden Girls. Better than a spa day!