2squared
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Posts posted by 2squared
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I have a collage in our kitchen - one picture from each vacation/trip. We really enjoy the theme, and the kids talk about the memories quite often.
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Definitly do them myself. We use H&R Block software free through the military, and it’s really not hard. We just have to enter data and answer questions.
I have my teens/young adults work on their own taxes too. I consider completing and understanding taxes to be a critical component of their financial literacy.-
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2 hours ago, Laura Corin said:
For comparison, we have recently hired two administrators in their fifties, both of whom have required extreme spoonfeeding of all tasks. The first's boss reluctantly corralled them into a few tasks where they had been coached exceptionally extensively - including rewriting instruction documents specifically for them because they couldn't figure out the standard ones. Their colleagues stopped asking them for help. They finally left of their own accord for another department, where we hear they are 'not competent and not nice'. Meanwhile we hired a brilliant 22-y-o who did everything.
Oh, my gosh, yes. My comment was not intended to suggest that only young people have issues with figuring things out. I meant to highlight that critical thinking and execution are extremely important skills.
I just got through a 40+ year employee’s retirement. Her skills had seriously eroded over the past few years, and i would have had to terminate her employment if she didn’t retire when she did. after that experience, I definitely worry about my aging process and effectiveness in the workforce. And…I see why older people do lose their jobs and why it’s hard to get another one. Aging sucks.
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I have two early 20-something employees, one who does figure stuff out and execute and one who does not. It is SO HARD to manage an early career professional who has to basically be babysat through problem solving.
Learning how to figure stuff out and get things done is a critical life skill.
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We are entering this phase now, but I have been and am a kid who doesn’t live near extended family. I see all the updates I need on social media. If I want more, I will ask my parents.
My parents don’t proactively offer extended family updates, maybe because I ask when I want to know? My in laws do volunteer all kinds of updates about family, community members, everyone. I don’t think they have much else to talk about, and I know my husband isn’t really interested in my in-laws community anymore. He hasn’t lived there for 30+ years. He also doesn’t ask for updates, but maybe that’s because he knows he will get them anyway?
I don’t usually provide updates on my kids’ family or community acquaintances unless they ask or unless it’s an organic part of our conversations. If I do mention something, I say, did you see so and so’s social media update?
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I am a very basic bullet journaler! Very, very basic….I use Outlook for my work calendar and google for our family calendar, so my bullet journal does not include calendars.
I really only use two signifiers - a dash for information and an empty box for to-do items. When my to-dos are complete, I fill in the box and if they are canceled, I put an x in the box. I use an 8.5x11 notebook with the pages split down the middle, and I just log in order of what happens during the day. I only use black ink, but I will use blue highlighter on the headers dividing the topics of my rapid log. My journal is super easy to scan and identify important items
Periodically I create a two page spread - one side for my longer-term project/to-dos and the other page for notes from my team meetings. The first 1-4 pages of my journal are used for work reference data, like passwords, software codes, etc.
here’s a link to my journal.I added stick-on pockets to the front and back covers this year.
https://www.amazon.com/BookFactory-Journal-Notebook-JOU-120-7CW-DotJournalPF/dp/B01N673MZY/ref=asc_df_B01N673MZY/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=642204786218&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11267547409307423679&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9019673&hvtargid=pla-801336053710&psc=1&mcid=47a2b67180553278a9b130c901e0aa1a-
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8 hours ago, cjzimmer1 said:
I know MANY families mine own included who don't hand out cell phones until much older so that could be part of why other families are still organizing things.
2nd point, But how does child know when you are available to give rides? I have plenty of my own things on the calendar and then add in things for other people, it would be a serious pain in the butt to have my kids start scheduling things that required me to give rides without me being able to give input into my availability.
Obviously it works for you to have your kids arranging things at their ages and that's great but I can also see for a lot of families where it would be a disaster for the kids to do the arranging especially when it involves parent chauffeurs.
It works really well. When the kids want to do something, they talk to their friend(s) to agree on what they want to do. Then my kid comes to me and ask me if he/she can do xyz on abc date and he/she tells me if a ride is needed. I then reply back if abc date works or not and if I am available to drive. If the date and times don’t work, I suggest an alternative. If I can’t drive, kid asks his dad or sibling or friends’ parents.
it’s all the same conversations I would need to have with the parents, but I am not having those conversations. The kids are figuring it out and managing their calendars. My life is very busy and demanding. If my kids want to do something, they can take on the mental work of getting it organized. My dh is also responsible for his own calendar.
These arrangements are a typical expectation where we live. The kid in the OP is the only kid whose parents contact me to arrange anything, so it definitely feels a little odd. Last weekend my 13yo arranged a sleepover and rides to/from another kid’s house. I wasn’t involved other than to give him permission when he asked and to send a thank you text after he returned home.-
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I ended up giving a generic “that doesn’t work from ds tomorrow”. I feel bad, but I don’t want to be a fall-back care plan when my kid isn’t excited about the other kid, and I also don’t want to force friends on my kid. When we do say yes, the requests ramp up. It’s tiring.
My DS is definitely friendly with the kid, and he does come over sometimes. And, like I said, DS has certainly given effort to seeing if a closer friendship makes sense. It just isn’t developing into as close of a friendship as the other kid desires. On the flip side, my DS is (finally) connecting with some boys who do seem like they are developing closer friendships
I’m surprised that parents are directly involved in arranging teen social events with other parents. I haven’t had to do that since my youngest got a cellphone a couple years ago (except for this kid in the OP). In fact, that was one of the reasons for moving all the kids to their own phones at 12yo-13yo.
My kids are in charge of coordinating their own schedules, including getting themselves to school, practice, etc. My 16yo drives himself, my 15yo gets rides from her friends, and my 13yo walks/bikes/asks for rides. I will gladly give rides to any of them, but they need to arrange and coordinate. If I was the arranger/coordinator, I know I would end up making arrangements that wouldn’t work for my kids’ schedules or with the wrong kids.-
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1 minute ago, KSera said:
Well, they may be thinking that, but they’re wrong. Official CDC guidance is still wearing a high quality mask until at least day 11:
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/your-health/isolation.html
In fact, they’ve now updated them to say that masks should continue to be worn past day 10 for those still testing positive:
Thanks for the lecture. I’m answering the question the OP asked. My kids are split between the local private K-8 school and the public K-12 school, and no one will see a mask in either school in the 2023-24 school year. The school website doesn’t mention Covid, and no one is testing for it.
I guess I’m pragmatic with @maize
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1 hour ago, MercyA said:
Someone posted this excellent article in another thread:
https://www.donotpanic.news/p/why-covid-can-never-be-just-a-cold
No other coronavirus or other cold virus is capable of affecting multiple organs like COVID.
I realize it’s not the same as a cold, but reality in my school district is that Covid is treated like a cold. No one is wearing masks and no one is testing for Covid. The school isn’t asking or suggesting or even thinking about it other than like a cold or any other illness.
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12 minutes ago, footballmom said:
I’m not sure if they are trying to force a friendship or if they have gaps in their care plans for their DS, because I’m surprised they reach out and invite their son over! Regardless, I agree with Tap, short and sweet reply that tomorrow doesn’t work and see you at the next practice!
They do have gaps when practice starts at 4:30, and we do agree to have him come on those days (when they ask). We live a block from the school. Normally they practice right after school every day, so transportation isn’t an issue. Tomorrow the boys don’t have practice - a rare event - so they are basically asking for a play date. Otherwise, I would think he would just ride the bus home. At 13yo, they certainly don’t need adult supervision after school, and they won’t have any supervision at our house.
ETA: I guess I don’t know how he gets home on a non-practice day, but they must have arrangements. The boys aren’t in sports every day of the school year. Most days, sure, but definitely not all of them.
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No one in our schools wears masks. Covid is treated like a cold, so no one would mask if they were returning from being sick.
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My 13yo has a teammate who really wants to be his friend outside of the team. My 13yo isn’t as enthused. DS has hung out with the boy a few times and even has had an overnight. So, I think DS has given the expanded friendship a good try
The parents text me to ask if the boy can come to our house. The kids are 13yo. I haven’t managed my 13yo’s social calendar for a couple years, and I really don’t want to manage it. I want him to arrange friend events on his own, between the boys.
i feel guilty because I know this boy really wants to be DS’s friend, and he probably needs more friends. I work with the boy’s grandmother too. UghAny advice on how to turn down the requests without sounding mean? I have a text right now asking if the boy can come over after school tomorrow until his mom gets off work. DS attends our local private school while teammate attends our local public school, both schools are in a very small, rural community.
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Would a job work to get him out of the house and meeting people? That seems like an easier option than finding a short-term overnight finance camp.
And then he would have money to invest and use for finance learning and to use for college.
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I’ve never seen a college graduation announcement, so I wouldn’t send that. Announce it on social media, yes. Send formal announcements, no.
If I did send announcements for college graduation, I would I send two separate announcements in separate envelopes.
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If it’s really a mental health issue vs criminal issue, jail isn’t the place for him/her anyway. My dh tries to keep criminals in jail and people with mental health issues in medical facilities. If they don’t have a path to a medical facility, the DA (not a term used in my state, so not sure how much authority this person has) may feel like release is the best option out of all the bad options.
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The fad for my teens is Owala now. They are spill-proof and colorful. I still use my Yeti daily, but I do wish it was spill proof. I prefer a regular cup vs a straw.
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I know this is late, but for others reading….my kids play cards and video games together. They have so much fun. They figured out that six people can play MarioKart together by connecting three Nintendo switches and setting up three TV screens. Just dance was a big hit as well.
My kids also nap during the day (they stay up forever at night) and split off into various interests, which often includes just hanging out in their beds/rooms. We go through a lot of food, so we spend a lot of time acquiring, preparing, and consuming food.-
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No in-laws here, yet. I try to spend about the same amount on each kid (21yo-13yo), but my more important goal is to get their most wanted item.
Our Christmas spend is large in $ but not in quantity. This is when the kids get Xbox’s, sports team jerseys, etc.-
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We aren’t drinkers, but I definitely bought dd her first legal drink on her 21st. We took her to a nice restaurant and let her order the fun fruity drinks on the menu.
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I would go to an ortho urgent care or wait for an ortho walk in clinic on Monday. Broken bones aren’t considered emergent, in our experience.
Three weeks ago my 17yo broke his arm on a Saturday. We went to the ER where they took X-rays and confirmed it was broken. We had to wait until Monday to see an ortho, and surgery would have been on Wednesday. At 8:00am on Monday we went to a walk-in ortho clinic attached to an ortho specialty hospital, with our X-rays, and he was able to get surgery late afternoon on Monday.
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I would eat it
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13 hours ago, katilac said:
Yes, in many cases, I would find it unreasonable to be asked to not bring my spouse.
When my kids were actually kids, a getaway of that type for one person would have equaled the budget for a family vacation for all four of us, and it would have taken up some of dh's limited time off. We did not vacation separately, we did family vacations. It would have been a no for us at that time.
If any of the spouses are daughters-in-law, that may have added fuel to the fire, because they are often taking more responsibility than the sons are for keeping in touch and so forth. That was true for me; I was the one buying birthdays cards and handing them to dh to sign, I was the one making sure they had recent pictures of the kids, I was the one buying Christmas gifts, so yeah, "special celebration with no in-laws" would have offended me.
I was also the person who planned and organized all of our vacations and events, so, had we agreed to it for some reason, I would have laughed and thought, good luck in getting dh to actually make this happen! He probably would have woken up on the day he was supposed to leave and realized he didn't have a plane ticket 😂
I think it might have gone more smoothly if he had said that to begin with, but the spouse thing would still be tricky. And, gently, that does sound very much like an ultimatum to me.
I'm sure he had the best of intentions going in, but a lot of the wording was lacking in diplomacy.
Right, I think the issue is that it wasn't presented that way, plus it wasn't really a "come join us if you can" invite to begin with. It was "come join us if you can, but only under these very specific conditions."
I also think "come join us if you can" is not necessarily the way to go - if the point is to have siblings only, then all of the siblings need to have a say in how that happens.
This seems like a very obvious compromise, and a bigger group would be easier in a lot of ways. I love my brother and I love my dad, but several days of just me and my dad and my siblings staying in the same place and doing All the Things Together would be . . . too much, lol.
Minimizing people wandering off was part of the original game plan, and that would drive me bananas. I can only people for so long at a time, and everyone is happier when I take breaks and wander off.
I think you are speaking from one place in life (your kids are young adults) while it sounds like some of the siblings are at another stage in life (kids and family vacations). And I think If some people have the belief that they can’t go somewhere without their spouse and kids, then they should opt out is a bit dismissive of the time and money constraints many families are under, constraints that make one-person vacays a very difficult choice.
This would be something I could accept more easily at my current stage of life. We have more money, so that is one practical problem solved; dh going on one such trip would not prevent us from doing something else that year. I'd probably still be a bit insulted on some level, particularly if it was "the" birthday celebration, but I am now old and tired and would likely just wave my hand in a weary whatever fashion.
I'd find it a little weird for the celebrant to make all the decisions on a multi-day trip.
I do have two (barely) young adults, but I have younger kids too. We very much have family vacations, but we also travel individually and in groups. I’m married, but that doesn’t mean I can only travel with my entire family or that entire family traveling even makes sense in many circumstances.
I also wouldn’t view this as a vacation. This is a son giving his 70yo parent a special gift. I think he was trying to make the gift more special by including his siblings.
I have five kids, dh has 8 siblings. It’s just so difficult having siblings + spouses + kids vs just siblings. The two experiences are nowhere the same.
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Ironically, I just had a similar conversation with my husband this morning. My mom is turning 70 next year, and I think we should celebrate/acknowledge the milestone in some way. At first, I thought about all of us visiting her since she loves having the grandkids together, but the logistics of getting our schedules to lineup is nearly impossible. My second idea was for my brother and I to do something with just the three of us (mom, brother, me). Dh thought that was a great idea, and he suggested the three of us go on a trip somewhere.
Now that I have young adults, my biggest wish in The world is just to spend time with them. I love all the significant others, but the dynamics aren’t the same with the significant others.
I encourage dh to visit his parents without me as well. I think retaining the close parent-child relationship is important, and including in-laws just isn’t the same.
So, my opinion is that the trip with dh and siblings was a great idea. If some people have the belief that they can’t go somewhere without their spouse and kids, then they should opt out.ETA: I also agree with OP’s dh that including spouses and kids completely change the experience from small and intimate to big and bulky. Any activities with large groups have a very different dynamic than small groups if this is a lifetime dream for FIL, I would think he would prefer the small, intimate experience where he can make all the decisions from where to park to what to eat. No voting or compromising for the group.
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Framed pictures on walls and tabletops or no?
in The Chat Board
Posted
Our collage is 4x6 mixed frames (black and brown wood mostly) arranged in rows and columns. Our kitchen cabinets are brown wood, the furniture in the kitchen is black and brown, and the walls are white. I really love those color combinations, and I think our picture frame collage looks really nice on the open wall.