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Posts posted by Tohru

  1. Well, when our dc were young, we worked around their naps and bed times.  So I rarely, if ever, scheduled anything that interfered with those 2 things.  Then, as they got older it was the increase in the amount and difficulty of their schoolwork which limited our time in the car.  


    Another factor was the activity itself.  For example, our hs group did ice skating a couple times a month in the afternoon.  We always did that because it was later in the day and not too time-consuming.  But when one hs group we joined had some great field trips that took an entire day, I got all the details about the trips and we did those as a family on the weekends with dh.  I found that MUCH more enjoyable for our entire family.


    At the times when we were able to find a church, that was more than enough socializing for us.  Ideally, I would have liked for us to have stayed put in one place and attended the same church all that time, really getting to know people, etc.  But that never happened.


    I think the deciding factor for me was the amount and quality of the school we were getting done.  I knew I only had these kids for a short time and what I did with them in that time would impact them for the rest of their lives.  So I determined to do what I had to do to make sure I didn't let them down.  And I never cared about socialization.  After having one go through the public schools, that was the least of my worries for the next 5 kids.


    ymmv, of course. 


    Yes, thank you! We originally began homescholing our eldest for academic reasons, but then have gotten caught up in the busy-be-social trap. Thank you so much for this reminder.


    • Like 1
  2. When my kids were in elementary and middle, it was important for me to keep my mornings at home.  We'd get all our school work out of the way in the morning, starting with more important subjects, and leaving less taxing subjects that I'm okay with letting slide at the end.  Then our afternoons are free for park days and after school activities.  


    I rejected any regular activities that occurred in the mornings, because that just disrupts our rhythm.  Who wants to do school work in the afternoon?  I did make exceptions for one-time field trips or special events.   


    Yes, this is us, mornings are at home, no matter what, however our afternoons are crazy! We have one or two things every day, most days we're late home to make dinner so I get take out. Everything is rushed. I try to scale back, but we have good friends in different circles, we see on different days. It's hard to cut any of them out.

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  3. Speaking of cross racial adoption, once I was in the checkout at drug mart with my two daughters.  They are indigenious Central American with the coloring of Mowgli [in the cartoon]; I am of European descent aka white.  The checkout lady said, "I'll bet they look like their dad."  To which I responded, "I wouldn't know."  LOL.  She figured it out a bit late, felt embarrassed and then tried to make it up by gushing about how wonderful adoption is.


    My assumption of an adopted child is that they are always the biological child unless I'm blatantly told otherwise, regardless of how they look. This ignorance has trickled down to my own children - probably because we know Caucasian parents that have biological children with much, much darker skin. It isn't as uncommon as you'd think.


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  4. I just pre-read the first chapter and there is a huge character issue for us regarding the boy intentionally not telling his father about finding the swans, pretty much lying about finding them - he says he found nothing because he wanted to hide it from his dad.


    Does the character issue resolve itself later in the story?

  5. We're getting my college age son a new laptop for Christmas. As far as I'm concerned, Windows XP is a fine operating system. lol!


    Anyway, with technology changing so much since XP, I need a recommend for a good laptop (bonus if it's got a Cyber Monday promo). He likes multi-layer, online gaming (like Steam) and sometimes old XP compatible games :) We'd like to get him something that would work well for him, good graphics, speed, etc, and possibly backward compatibility? I don't know very much about all those techy specifications.


    Any recommendations? Or even some suggestions on what to look for would be greatly appreciated!


  6. Labels are a polite way to insult someone.


    Maybe I'm wrong, my thoughts are that in the past, rather than labeling, we used words such as: "strict", "controlling", "lenient", "babying", "too permissive", "negligent".


    Now we use labels to mean several of those words at once. So I hear "helicopter" as saying: the parent is controlling, babying & negligent.

    A tiger parent is too strict, controlling and negligent.

    Free-range is too lenient, too permissive and negligent.


    However we can't/don't use those direct adjectives anymore.  And no one wants to say the real thing they're insinuating: "that parenting is negligent."



    ETA: "adjective: negligent: failing to take proper care in doing something or

    failing to exercise the care expected of a reasonably prudent person in like circumstances"
    • Like 2
  7. Meh, it's all relative...


    Basically, the definition of Tiger Mom is 'anybody who pushes their child more than I push mine (and possibly I'm feeling jealous of how well her kids do)'. 

    Helicopter parenting equals 'watching over the kid to a greater degree than I do (and maybe I feel inferior, and offence is the best form of defence)'.


    Suzuki is just an approach to teaching / learning music. It can be done Tiger Mom style (a la Amy Chua) or not so much; while parental involvement is required, the pushing can be very gentle.




    :hurray: :iagree: :hurray: :iagree: :hurray:

    • Like 1
  8. Thank you!!

    I love the philosophy of Charlotte Mason, but I too am a failure at CM scheduling. I try to do it all, but then nothing gets done. I've heard of Waldorf block schedules, but just couldn't figure it out. I like the idea of just focusing on one thing for a bit, then doing something else.

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