I should state that for years, I had no Christmas joy. It is an insane time of year for musicians, particularly pianists. Through the years that I had young kids, I had my own music studio putting on a Christmas recital, a church that hired me to play for every Wednesday night Advent service, one school and one church who hired me to accompany their musicals, a community choir to conduct through a concert, and an annual Bach harpsichord concert to perform. I was exhausted. But I also felt I needed to decorate heavily for the children. We also attended a church that guilt tripped everyone about putting anything out that wasn't religious in nature. So I would see beautiful Father Christmases or elves or candy canes or .....and be sad because I thought I shouldn't buy those things. I was already "on the fringe" with the church because of being a classical musician instead of a gospel style only pianist. I know they did not appreciate me working with other churches on their classical/sacred concerts nor the secular musicals at the school. I was generally not a happy person all those years through December. But now I don't have those religious trappings, nor the jobs, and retired from having a personal studio. The only thing I will do is perform a piano, not harpsichord, concert for a group this year where they have to be vaxed an masked, and are a long distance away from me while I play. I did it last year as well. I love playing Bach. And now we have embraced some heritage traditions - Danish/Scandinavian/Norse - that had been lost in Dh's side of the family, and having SO much fun with it! I totally sympathize with people who just do not enjoy it, but do it for their families. I get that.

I am so sorry, Regentrude! So very sorry. Thinking of you.

Agreed. Our grandson loves rainbows, unicorns, purple, pink, and magenta, sparkles, long hair, cooking, baking, and sewing/crafting. He also loves power tools, Tonka trucks, swimming, tai kwon do (sp?), cars, and building things. We are very careful to let him know that none of that has anything to do with being male or female. It is simply the marvelous breadth of the human tapestry of interests and talents that make variety the spice of life. Dd and her husband have lost a lot of friends and been shunned by family members on both sides for letting him be himself, all of the folks shunning them are very religious people. The secular family members have been supportive. In my life, I have known so many people who have been horribly harmed by rigid gender roles. It is hard to stomach. As for medical treatment for physical transitioning, it is pretty non-existent in my area. Medical insurance doesn't pay one dime of it, and it is grossly expensive. It is not something that anyone other than the wealthy can afford. In addition to that, we are very medically underserved so one is hard pressed in most parts of the state to find doctors in practice who do it. A few in the Detroit/Ann Arbor area, but Michigan is a large state so a ton of people don't live within commuting distance of that corridor. It really isn't all that accessible here so I would not make any kind of assumptions that what is described in the article is widespread. I very much believe that gender does not go hand in hand with genitalia. The brain is so much more complicated than that simple construct. Much of what we perceive about gender is cultural/societal and often informed by religious beliefs which are not rooted in actual biology. So I do very much believe that some souls are born with the wrong body, but I also think maybe this would be less damaging if our culture dropped its stupid preoccupation and obsession with trying to stuff people into predetermined boxes.

My family appreciates it. Dd and I are going Danish/Viking/Norse crazy this year with splashes of Scottish elements to represent heritage on my side. We have been having fun planning it, building off what I did last year. Mark has been cutting out wood ornaments with his laser printer so we have a lot of reindeer and other elements to sand, stain, and paint.

With any luck, keeping my mother in law from insisting on twenty five dishes and then refusing to eat buffet style so all your food gets insanely cold while you spend 45 minutes passing dishes at an uncomfortably crowded table. Sigh. What we want is just turkey, baked dressing (no stuffing the turkey because then my mom and I cannot eat it due to gluten issues), mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, baked buttercup squash, mixed fruit bowl, homemade rolls for those that can have them. Pumpkin pie and chocolate pie (the chocolate one having a GF crust). I might make some roasted carrots to take but nothing more than that if we can help it. She is insisting on having it at her place and since this is probably the last year she will be in her home, we are letting it happen. But she has a tiny kitchen and almost no counter top. So I think everything except the turkey will be made elsewhere and brought to her home which she will NOT like because she is having control issues. Oh well. She can't be allowed to make us all crazy with her demands. If I had it my way, T Day would be a laid back affair with a spiral sliced ham, fruit tray veggie tray with dip, spinach dip and corn chips, cheese ball and crackers. We would set up a buffet, and we would eat casually, visit, and play cards. Mark would have time to work on his Christmas woodworking, and kitchen clean up would be simpler. He and I, and my mom would take our trays and bowls home unwashed and then pop them into our dishwashers at home. But for the sake of this last year with his mom being mentally and physically fit enough to participate, we will endure something more traditional and by extensiom, exhausting. We are not spending a lot of time planning however. Our big planning effort is going to our family Christmas celebration at the Alabama home, and our Danish/Norse celebrations of Yul. I have a smorgasbrod to put on, an Icelandic elf house to build and decorate, and a season of cookie making to do. However, while some of the cookies will be GF, many of the best recipes do not turn out at all well with alternative flours and I will get sick if I bake with them and get all that flour dust into the air. So Mark and Robin will be handling that, and they have to begin the day after TDay in order to get them done for the first week of December when we are going to share cookies with some of my former colleagues and with his current ones, and Robin is taking them around to the neighbors in Bama. Another reason I wish that Tday was going to be less back breaking.

Thank you. The sad thing about the winter coats, boots, and hats and gloves is that the girls have them at their fathers' homes. But, these man/boys being immature, won't allow the girls to take anything but the clothes on their backs to their mother's on visitation even though thry admit that she is good about returning things. The two year old wails over her blankie being left behind every time, and the three are thrown into their respective vehicles without winter clothes and taken to meet their mom at McD's for the exchange. She brings blankets - something I should consider replacing this year because my brother says that the glimpse he has had of those blankets is they have several holes in each one - to keep them warm. But then they can't go out to play. Every year the social worker tells her to buy her kids coats and boots or else. It is basically an empty threat. They never move to end her visitation. And they aren't wrong. On the other hand they are dealing with a person who has bipolar disorder that is in a psychosis stage because she won't stay on her meds, and whose psychiatrist says she is not employable. Can't they contact the Marines' Coats for Kids, and just make her an annual recipient? Oh well, we can afford to do it as needed. I just get frustrated! These things just break the heart so much.

This is NOT wrong! 😂😂😂

We have someone like this, my niece, with similar issues and totally irresponsible. She has three daughters, and they are young, multiple baby fathers only one of whom pays any child support. Giving money had been a no go. She just misuses it, and doesn't get the bills paid. We can only do so much and it is maddening, but the little girls are the ones who suffer most. So we have been known to buy groceries and deliver them, pay on rent or utilities directly to the landlord or utility companies, etc. Last year she was going to lose visitation with them because had been evicted from her previous place and had not been able to take all her furniture because of not being able to afford a moving truck. The fathers of the younger two were not going to allow her to have her two days of visitation over the Christmas break if she could not provide beds. My brother, hard up for cash at the time due to medical bills, could not help and said that the eldest girl (10 at the time) was devastated to not be able to see her little sisters at Christmas. So we bought a toddler bed with mattress for the then 2 year old, and a twin bed and mattress for the 5 year old, and had them delivered. We also sent a nice Christmas gift for each child. But we did the whole thing through a non-profit nearby so that she would not know where it came from and then ask for more. We now pay for a driver to take her once a month to a very robust church food pantry. This way again she gets food and not cash, and she actually doesn't know who pay for the ride share either. This is about all we are willing to do other than winter coats and boots for the girls whose lives are miserable because their mother is so unstable, and their fathers are sadly, quite immature for their ages. But on behalf of the dads, they do feed them well, have reasonable roofs over their heads, appropriate clothing, some toys, and they go to school/headstart. Paternal grandmothers who seem quite competent provide after school care and see to it they are vaxed and have well child visits at the health department. So they are physically cared for appropriately. It is just that with the dads being so immature, their emotional and mental development is also stunted and concerning. I am an advocate of not enabling, but also a fan of providing basics at times in a non cash way because I think that is the humane thing to do. But there are definitely ways of doing it that do not involve much enablement such as a grocery delivery or buying a bed,just no cash. And if you can do it through a community group - a lot of civic groups and churches are willing to help with this - you can keep your name out of the equation so they don't get used to "support" or money from relatives.

For me, this ranks right up there with people who insist on using a nickname/shortened name that someone specifically does not use. Our son has professors and fellow students who insist on calling him Chris even though he has never used it, does not come by it (which frustrates the hell out of them because when someone says Chris, he doesn't automatically think of himself and say, "Yes?"), and has repeatedly very graciously asked to be called Christopher. Same for people who disrespect our Peter by saying Pete or worse, Petey, all the damn time. No difference. Pronouns and names are how we relate to people linguistically and identify them. Refusing to use what has been requested, or in the absence of knowing what they go by getting ruffled by using something inclusive is just disrespectful. It is NOT disrespectful for my sons to nicely asked to be called by their given names, nor is it disrespectful for me to insist on the use of Ms. even though I am married because if my husband does not have to identify his marital status at work or in class, neither should I. It is not disrespectful for them to ask that the pronouns that apply to them be used, and linguistically this is not something new. People have gotten out of the habit of using gender neutral pronouns though they used to be a lot more common in English historically. Shakespeare was not the only one. And we do add new words to English all.the.time. people do not freak out about it. I think this has a lot more to do with people being very uncomfortable with the fact that sex and gender are actually two different things, and that is not compatible with many religious groups. Now, on an entirely different note, if one more billionaire refers to himself as an "astronaut" for going to the "edge" of space for 30 seconds in a vehicle in which they have ZERO responsibilities for the operation of said vehicle, nor do anything of worth,nor even orbit the earth once and require NO training to do this, I am going to scream! 😠

Deck of cards, Sudoku book, pictures of family, favorite book, lip balm, yoyo, one of those minor table top billiards games, video messages from family and friends, juggling balls, hackey sack, new socks, sunglasses, foot powder, hydroflask water bottle, high quality undershirts, hand lotion, basketball shorts, sleep mask, sunscreen (my nephew in the army was not provided with any when he was stationed in Kuwait 😡), hand and foot warmer packets if he is in cold climate, microfiber hand towel for cleaning phone screens and glasses, bandaids. I might remember more in the morning after coffee.

Seeing the same thing, and some of the a running out to TSC to grab more ivermectin. Our local one is now saying if you don't already have a farm account with them, you cannot buy the drug, and if you want to open an account you have to provide proof of actually owning a farm and livestock. So.damn.stupid. We may need a new John Hopkins death counter, " Deaths from horse wormer".

I think you really need to do what is best for retirement. If you only have 10-13 years left in this career, then your have more years ahead of that to think about living off savings and fixed income of social security. That should take precedence. And if the next job is good, you could stay with it for those remaining 10-12 years. I truly do not believe you will see any substantial pay raise where you are, and that is a big detriment to your family finances and retirement plans.

This. HR and the boss know full well what the market value of your work, educstion, and experience is. They are "stringing people along" saying they will tackle it, but then do not. They will do that until all their good people jump ship, and they are left unable to continue without hiring at what the market will bear. They are apparently willing to let it come to this. They are not treating you right. You do not need to volunteer information that could end up hurting you. Take care of you and your family. Businesses that do not take care of employees are in danger of losing them, and that is as it should be.

Amen!

That last one really hits home! 😂

My goals are similar to Dmmelter, and as much as I find 750,000 people dead from this in this country appalling, I am even more deeply concerned for my family in terms of long covid, and heart damage to my precious grandson who already has a heart issue. So keep my family as safe as I can reasonably manage, don't contribute to the overwhelm and demise of our already tragically fissured medical system, don't get a disease that might leave me unable to function, contribute to the public good. I never thought we would exterminate covid. My hope had been to see it so heavily stamped down that if we had outbreaks, they would be small and easily contained. But that required the vast majority of the people to not be total asshats, and that clearly didn't happen, so here we are. A good side effect is that I did not have my twice a year bout of laryngitis, did not get colds, did not have so many sinus issues and sore throats, etc. so I will probably mask and religiously disinfect hands when in public for the rest of my life. Dd is thinking of having our grandsons continue masks for, well, many years to come when indoors in public places like the supermarket. It is good for eldest because of his heart. The kids did not have any colds, flu, stomach bugs, tonsilitis, nothing in the last 18 months. How many people go that long with a 1 year old and a five year old and not have some bug go through the entire family? Masks and hand washing vigilance works. And yes, the little guy wears his tiny cloth mask like a trooper. The grownups in their area should take lessons from him!

The ones I have looked at were so cheap that they might get runs and pulls in them when embroidery is attempted. You might want to look at some of the choral, performance wear websites. Graduation robes are the same pattern, for the most part, as choir robes. Choir robes are made to last decades. You might also consider making it yourself if you have a sewing background. Our Dd did not want a standard graduation gown. She was not taking part in a larger commencement, but having a piano and vocal recital at home with a reception afterward, and we graduated her then, even had a special speaker. It was a great night. My mom made her an absolutely gorgeous evening gown.

Oy! I didn't see the ad. Makes my brain twitch. Maybe they should take their special, fragile snowflake students home so the other college students can get an education and engage in meaningful debate.

I am pretty sure our cat has thought this or worse.

Here too. We did vote on this statewide and an independent commission was to draw up new district lines that make sense. But a certain party that benefits very heavily from gerrymandering in this state has interfered, interfered, interfered. Our system is beyond broken, and it is going to put fascists in the driver's seat.

This!

There is a sub reddit forum that has the link to the transcript of the comments/follow up to the dad's podcast in which he claimed Cynthia was mentally ill and delusional, and the oldest teens at home came on to the podcast to defend their father. And here is the kicker, they really thought they were defending their dad and claiming everything was good at home, meanwhile having been so desensitized to physical and emotional abuse, they were admitting to and laughing about all kinds of abuse thinking it was normal. Kids being slapped repeatedly in the face over and over again, throwing silverware at children for not washing dishes, admitting that one of the sisters was self-mutilating, and they blamed it on having a rebellious sister not living at home, etc. It was gross, disgusting, and heart breaking. Jeub had to take it down within a couple of hours after putting the podcast out there because people were pretty outraged. But word press made a transcript and has it available so there isn't any hiding. The internet is forever. If this is what they will laughingly admit to, I can only imagine what they aren't admitting. You can find the link in bedded in the thread not very far down if you want to read it yourself. The transcript.is easy to read.

I am still waiting on mine as is Dh and mother in law. My mom scored one of the last Moderna doses in the tri County area. I suspect her doctor recommended her for a third, full dose, instead of a booster which is why. Apparently, the shipment for boosters has not arrived yet around here. So I am impatient because I do not get have an appointment. I am so glad you are all in the queue for your kids! Very, very happy! My Dd is trying to score an appointment for our 5 year old grandson.

We bought Mark's mom a ticket three weeks ago with insurance so she can change dates with out penalty for up to a year. We were afraid prices would go go wonky. She has an appointment for her booster next week, and thought that since she soon will be physically unable to travel, we had better get her to her sister's for Christmas. She is staying for a month. It is crazy out there. I half expect the flight to be cancelled. But the night before she flies out, she is staying with a granddaughter much closer to the airport. My dear niece said that if it does get cancelled, she is welcome to stay for Christmas. This way we will not have to turn around and come back since we leave for Alabama after taking her to the airport. I think two weeks from now it is going to be total chaos out there with very few choices for anyone who still hasn't purchased.

Katie, I am so very sorry. If I lived near you, I would do what I could like cooking a meal every week for them and dropping it off. This is just awful, and I know it breaks your heart. All I can say is I hold out hope for better treatments soon. It is precious that your parents are going to be able to help her and the children. They are very good people!