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EverLearningMom

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  1. This is great information too, and interesting to know that this is how aspergers would present at that age. (I do suspect that if he has anything going on, it would be aspergers.) Would you say it's best to wait until around 8 before seeking out any kind of testing?
  2. Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to respond. It's so nice to be able to share this struggle somewhere as it feels like I can't talk to anyone in my life or they'll blame homeschooling - regardless of the fact that his brother is the opposite of him. Yes, six is young, and it just may be a timing thing. He actually has been coming out of his shell noticeably, in many ways this past year or so, so I do have some hope he will grow out of some of this. And as for the mentions of Apergers and anxiety, I accept that that could the the reality we're facing too. I have an older brother who almost definitely has Aspergers but was never diagnosed, and my husband struggled intensely with social anxiety when he was younger. Not to mention that I'm an introvert, so really it's my older son that's the oddball! 😂 As for him having an actual fear of leaving the house, I don't think it's quite that, but it is something he needs to deliberate over. Today he went to a movie with us, and he did waver once or twice on the idea but in the end decided he wanted to go with no pushing at all. I had mentioned the idea of inviting another family to join us and that was a definite no. Then I mentioned bringing one friend (a friend of his brothers who he really likes too), and liked that idea. He's very particular...about everything. I think in many ways what he really needs is one good friend to do one-on-one activities with, rather than group activities. Sadly, I'm not finding anyone yet that fits his mold of perfect friend material.
  3. I could really use some advice. I have a little boy, 6, that does not like or want to do anything social. He has an older brother who is happy to do social things - library groups, drop-off programs, field trips with other homeschool families, etc. I have no idea what to do and I'm kind of getting to the end of my homeschooling rope because my little one just won't do anything without a massive fight, and even then, it doesn't often work. When he was younger I knew all I had to do was get him in his carseat and we're good to go, since he couldn't unbuckle. But those days are over. So no, this isn't something new - this is very much his personality. He's an introvert, 100% and always has been. The complete opposite of his brother. I will say that he is perfectly happy to be home and ride his bike, play with Legos, Minecraft, play with his brother, etc. He's also okay to do an occasional field trip if it's JUST with his brother and I. If we invite any friends to go along, forget it. (side note - he often ends up having a good time, but it doesn't stop him from protesting every time it comes up) As you can imagine, it's really starting to affect our family life. It's affecting my ability to feel like I'm providing his brother with enough of a social life because we have such a hard time getting out of the house. Friends are starting to blow us off because we so often end up not making it to things because I can't outfight my little guy some mornings. It's very hard to explain that my son wants nothing to do with them, in a kind way! It's kind of a mess, I'm sad to say. On the flip side, he has been doing a once a week drop off group, reasonably happily, up to this point, because his brother went with him. This year, his brother has aged out of the group. That group was always my "at least he's doing this so I can feel okay" thing. Now he's refusing to go because he feels he's too old too. He's also refusing to go to a weekly group gathering because there is one child he claims he doesn't like (but he's always seemed to get along with him). I understand uncomfortability with social situations. What I'm stuck on is how to handle it. We have always been primarily homebodies, but make a point of getting out and doing something social once or twice a week, beyond the usual grocery shopping, etc. I just don't know what to do, and don't like the way this is affecting our everyday life. Can anyone relate to this? Any advice is welcome.
  4. Lately I've been feeling like I need to make some kind of big change in our day to day structure. Here's where I'm coming from - my kids are little, 5 and 7, and I've been homeschooling since day 1, my five year old just now joining officially with a kindergarten curriculum. So that's already been a change, from homeschooling one to two, and so far that's been pretty smooth. I think with my five year old's move into kindergarten, I've been feeling like we're ready for a real written-on-the-chalkboard kind of routine. We really lack this. My youngest has always had sleep issues and I think that's really driven this almost "infant care mode" for five years. But I want to try for a real routine now. I feel like with the lack of structure, there's been too much falling into the TV, tablet, and now, video game trap. And honestly, lately, more than ever, I catch myself in this sort of aimlessly wandering thing because I don't know what to do next. So I'm wondering if any of you have made the leap from no real routine to a structured type of routine? If so, how did you do it? How did it go? Any tips? The kind of things that I really lust after - including some kind of chore for the boys, however small, a rest or quiet time?!?! (can life actually get that good?), field trip or library time - where I can actually get them out the door without fighting or arguing about what we're doing and make it out within three hours of me saying "let's get ready to go", regular outside time (we do get outside a lot, but it seems to be either due to the fact that littlest one just kind of ran out on his own and we go out to get him and then we all stay out for hours, or we all go out but someone gets mad, sad, cold, hot, bored within 30 seconds and so we all end up going in), house cleaning time, you get the picture! How do I make the jump?
  5. mamraby - I could hug you! Thank you. I know that I have an issue with wanting everything in writing somehow (and I struggle with my "by the book" ways with his curriculum), and that's exactly what he just can't deal with right now. I get frustrated sometimes because I feel like I'm slowing down his entire academics just because of writing. It really is a matter of mechanics right now. If there is any way this kid is gifted, it's storytelling and communicating ideas. Just don't ask him to put it in writing! But seriously, I was so happy for him but also kind of sad when he finished dictating his story to me because it was so good, but then I also realized that whenever he actually has to put pencil to paper, it's no where near his ability. It truly is the "Jot it Down" stage. And it probably doesn't help that he's doing the assignments, essentially, twice. It's true. Alright, tomorrow is a new day and I'm starting with a new approach!
  6. I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this. It seems to be such a common thing with girls lately. I have many friends with K-3 girls and every single one is dealing with bullying issues like you describe. I don't know if this is the "best" way, but personally, I'd probably tell her "Guess what? You've done so well in kindergarten that you're graduating!" Then proceed to have a little end of the school week special dinner for her, maybe plan a special outing or adventure to celebrate the following week, and then stealth kindergarten her until June. Sing songs, read fairy tales, bake, take nature walks, count and sort things, and draw pictures. It's April, it's kindergarten, she doesn't even need to know she's being homeschooled.
  7. Thank you both for responding. I'll give you a better sense of expectations and our usual process. We use Oak Meadow, and at this stage, the majority of writing assignments is to summarize a story we read in 2-4 sentences. He will give me his summary verbally and I will write it down for him, usually having to condense it significantly because he's a big talker! I don't think I've ever gone beyond three sentences because I need to protect my own sanity. I then give him the paper with the sentences written down and he transcribes it into his lesson book. very. very. slowly. and with as much procrastination and emotional manipulation as any human being has ever mustered. He likes it when I sit there and spell out every single word while he transcribes. I don't like it, obviously, but I'll do it if gets him writing. Even then, his pencil manages to fall on the floor at least 17 times. I will post a picture of his pencil grip. I don't think it's bad, but I'm definitely no expert. To be honest, I don't have the best grip so it's possible his grip is worse than I realize! Yes, working on his focus is definitely something I'm just starting to realize we need to do. He's a smart kid and I think he managed to skate through the first two years without much focus needed, but now as things are ramping up a bit, his usual method of half paying attention and half everything else isn't really working. But even last year, one sentence assignments were no easier. Chocolate supply - check! And just curious, how does the writing assignment example line up with what others are doing? Does that reasonable for a 7.5 year old? He is at the beginning of second grade.
  8. Hello! I am new here and I could use some advice on helping my very reluctant writer. He's only seven, and yes, I'm sure this is not unusual for seven year old boys. Whenever he has to sit down and write, whether it be one sentence, four sentences, or really, a word, it is a nightmare. It's either running away from the table, flat out refusal, tears, or most commonly, chatting, silliness, daydreaming, needing a drink, go to the bathroom, some kind of pain or ailment, basically anything he can come up with to avoid putting pencil to paper. He always drags the process out at least 10 times the amount of time that seems reasonable. To be honest, I'm on the verge of tears whenever he has to write anything too, because our day, I know, will come to a screeching halt. His handwriting is not perfect but it's decent. I don't think there is any kind of disability. In fact he's very good with handwork. He says its just too boring to sit for a long time and write. From time to time I will let him type. One time I totally let him off the hook and dictate a story to me while I typed and his story turned out really fantastic. (He has an incredible vocabulary and imagination and I didn't want the physical act of writing to hold him back from his story.) So I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions. Would a handwriting program possibly be helpful, like Handwriting without Tears? I don't know if becoming more proficient in the art of handwriting would make him more confident? Or should I jump to cursive writing? Could that help? Or should I jump headlong into the 21st century and just let him type, because honestly, isn't that really what it's all about anymore? Or is this just a seven year old boy thing that he has to grow out of?
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