I'm SO glad your DH is with DS! That's so much to deal with, even for us adults. My DC would have lost it, I'm sure. Thank goodness his orientation isn't until Friday. That was good planning on your part, notwithstanding Mother Nature's attempts at derailing them.

Healthy diet. Drink LOTS of water. Flattering hairstyle that I get cut every 7 weeks or so. Vitamins/supplements (no idea if this helps my look, but it's part of my self-care regimen). Good and long enough sleep. Exercise regularly. Make-up. To be fair, I've been doing this for all my adult life for the most part, BUT I have noticed that when I fail to do any of the above (not the vitamin thing), I look rough.

NYC is such a diverse place, and those particular locations (Broadway, the Met) have so many tourists from all over the world, I really wouldn't worry about looking out of place. True, most women won't be wearing running shoes, but nobody will notice, and you won't get any weird looks. So no, it won't matter for looks. It's hot in the city, so you'll have to figure out what to wear based on that rather than based on the running shoes. I would suggest long linen pants that skim the tops of your shoes making them less obvious. But bring a shawl or a light wrap to deal with the A/C indoors. Have fun!!

$390 is not chump change, and I'm surprised that many of you wouldn't expect the guy to pay the bill. I can't imagine NOT paying for damage I had caused to someone else's property. I would advise DS to try the DIY methods first to see if that works, and if not, I'd have him take the estimate to the guy and tell him he tried the other methods and they didn't work. Then he should say, "Unless you can think of another way to do this, or have someone else that can take care of it for less money, here's the estimate I got."

A timely topic for my family, too, so I've begun thinking about it. Agreeing with the pps, that if you can get your hands on the policy information at your DD's employer, it would be great to do your research now. That way if the plan doesn't include the providers you like, you can at least see if the out-of-network costs would be manageable. I'm almost certain that every plan is now legally required to cover in-patient mental health hospitalization. The issue would be *where* and for how long. Your preferred hospital would have to be in-network, or again, you're looking at out-of-network costs.

You are not alone! In fact, many of us have started thinking about, and beginning to start, Act 2 of our lives. I think a good place to start is to just do something. Anything. Maybe it's a part-time job locally, like at a store or a recreation center, at a school or as an admin somewhere. Look at Indeed or Craigslist for starters. They say it's easier to find a job when you have a job, so I think doing something is better than nothing. If it's education you're interested in, start with one class at your local CC. The class could be in something you're interested in just for fun, or maybe as a step toward a new career. I just think it's a good idea to take one little step because you never know what it will morph into.

I think this sounds like one of those times that you just need to *do* the right thing because you know it's the right thing, and because you know you'll feel lousy if you don't. So you're right to vent now because you'll be even lovelier there having gotten the blech out of you here. Except the extra staying thing. For a job starting, I'd pass on the extra night.

I love decluttering when family members are out of town, like this past week. I put in my earbuds, listen to podcasts, and toss, toss, toss! Garbage bags full of stuff to donate...nothing better! DH is really good at selling things on FB marketplace, so I have a pile for him to sell. If they don't go in a week, I'll donate them. The big stuff is mostly done already, but I have some shelving units and cabinets that need to be sifted through. I think I'll tackle those today. Is there any reason to hold on to old VHS and DVD movies? I don't even have a VHS player anymore, now that I think of it. We do have a DVD player, but we stream everything, so I should donate these, right?

I'm so sorry for your DD. Break-ups are brutal, there's no way around it. Just be there for her and let her cry, eat chocolate, listen to sad music, watch TV, and sit with her sadness. These things happen and her sadness will pass. I think just keeping an eye on her to look for signs of depression is all you can do at this point. I'd say give her this weekend to totally absorb and feel it, then encourage her to go out a little, talk to friends, maybe take her out shopping. My BFF's DD just went through a break up with her boyfriend of 1.5 years, and she was totally shocked. She really didn't see it coming, nor did we! She spent a couple of days in bed just wallowing, but then she started thinking about how *maybe* this was a good thing. Maybe she was getting too serious too quickly, maybe she was settling for someone because she undervalued herself, maybe she could focus more on other aspects of her life now that she isn't in a relationship, etc. Every time she started thinking that way, BFF and I would jump in to encourage that line of thinking, I'm not ashamed to say we also affirmed her criticisms of the boy, kind of like, "Yeah, he had noooo idea how good he had it with you. I can't believe he would break up with you just out of the blue. Who does that?!?!" That sort of thing seemed to help. Hugs to you and your DD. She'll be okay. I'm so glad summer camp is coming up for her!

Kid Snippets was one my DC always enjoyed.

Hugs, OP. Your struggle is so evident. I don't know how old your dc are, but one thing I've found is that for me, parenting teens and young adults has been waaay more challenging than parenting littles. My kids are great, don't get me wrong, but the decisions and consequences they face in this world, and the need for a parent to be able to emotionally and mentally engage with them is huge. Massive. With some of the issues that older kids go through, I can't imagine being sleep deprived or tied to a baby's schedule if/when my college-aged kid needs me. That's just *me* personally. I know some women do it, but I've also known many of them to feel a huge struggle internally because they know they're not able to give as much as they'd like, financially and emotionally. It's just not possible. Many years ago I wanted to add to our family. DH and I talked about it, prayed about, sought counsel from others, etc. Lots of women in my circle have large families (like 8, 10, 12 kids). There was no judgment, but clearly they had the opinion that more was better. I was starting down that road, but DH finally shared with me that he didn't want anymore kids. He had all he could handle well, and I had to accept that, hard as it was. I will say that I am so glad we stopped when we did. Parenting older kids has been much more of a challenge than I thought, and I think it's so very difficult if the numbers are such that my finite time and attention can't be spread according to the needs. I used to think, well God gives us grace to do it. And I don't disagree with that at all, but I also think He gives us grace and insight to know when we're done.

It sounds like you and your DH are doing all the right things to manage this very unfair and arbitrary disease. I'm glad he's better today than yesterday. It's a blessing that your marriage is a good one, absent the flare-ups of his depression. You're wise to be judicious in sharing with your friend; her situation sounds totally different from yours in terms of the relationship. NAMI usually has good support groups that are located all over the place.

Honestly, I think she has no use for a man right now and probably figures neither do her kids. She's very independent and seems to be highly focused on doing what *she* thinks is best for her kids. She can more than provide for them financially and in terms of life experiences, so she may be thinking that's all they really need. Since she has no more time for Brad, possibly she doesn't want to be bothered facilitating his relationship with the kids. Of course, the courts will have a say about that if the other parent doesn't roll over an accept it.

You know what I think? I think visitors shouldn't handle newborn babies. Now, if you're grandma and there to help out with the baby, that's one thing. But if you're just visiting the happy family, keep your distance, darn it! There are some cultures that don't allow others to visit newborns and/or don't allow the newborn out of the house for a full 40 days. A midwife/friend told me about that, though I can't verify it off the cuff. I think it's brilliant, personally, although I'm waaaay past having a newborn in the home. ?

Well I said it doesn't apply to governments because it doesn't. It applies to individuals. That's what Jesus said. But to your point, yes, absolutely religious views influence our votes, which is why I said that getting involved at the grass roots level and working through organizations to get legislation passed is more effectual than simply saying the government ought to do this-or-that because Jesus said so. He didn't say so. Not to governments at least. ETA: My opinion on the application of Jesus' teachings to individuals doesn't have anything to do with my opinion on DV sufferers seeking asylum. I don't know enough about how the decision was derived and applied to speak about it; I was simply addressing the Scriptural application to governments.

I think the error of applying Scripture to U.S. immigration policy is that the call to follow Christ is a personal/individual one, not for a government. So while the dictates of Christ compel me as a Christian to share with those in need, help the suffering, and proclaim the Gospel, there's nothing in the Bible that says the government is called to do this. If you look at this issue and say, "As a Christian, I feel compelled to help DV assylum seekers," then by all means get involved through grassroots means via church or charitable organizations, vote into office those who share similar beliefs, etc. But don't expect the government to follow the commands of Christ because they were never meant to be applied that way.

This just happened to me! I was invited to the shower (given by my friend, the groom's mom), but not to the wedding. The young couple invited friends and family they feel close to, but the groom's mom invited friends *she* feels close to to the shower. The wedding is several hours away, and will be a relatively small event. I was a bit surprised at first, not that I wasn't invited to the wedding, but that I was invited to the shower w/o an invite to the wedding. That's not how I was raised. But, I was happy to celebrate my friend's happiness and to bring a gift for the young couple.

Many times if you purchase an item, you can just use the code on the bottom of the receipt to access a restaurant's bathroom. You just punch in the numbers. Chipotle does this in the city.

Now that mindfulness is all the rage, I think you should acknowledge and note your feelings of disappointment. This isn't how you thought things would go or how you had hoped your DS high school career would end. It's sad. And yet...high school graduation is such a small part of our lives, so even though it *feels* like this momentous occasion, in the big picture, there will be so many more momentous ones that will eclipse this event. I've graduating a couple of kids myself, and I can barely remember how I felt at the time. They've moved on to other things in their lives that are more pressing and more important to themselves and to me, frankly. I can remember a friend who has older kids than mine and who also homeschools. She told me that one day in May many years ago, she looked at her DS's credits and realized he had enough to graduate high school (he was also taking DE courses). She looked at him and said, "Do you want to just call high school done?" He was like, "Sounds good." And that was that! Maybe it would help you to remind yourself that this is just the beginning of his life in many ways. He's grown and developed despite lots of issues stacked against him. That's no small feat! You're wise to allow him the freedom to move on until he figures out what he wants to do and takes steps to make it happen. Focus on the little victories, which to the rest of the world may seem small, but to you and your DS are quite big! As to how to act about it, unless DS wants a celebration, I would just keep it low-key and not make a big deal. He can't feel good about failing all his classes, and he must understand that he's not graduating with honors! So, let it just be. Maybe mark the occasion with a dinner out that's more about celebrating the transition out of high school and into the next stage of life, rather than making it a graduation celebration, per se. <<hugs>> Life is hard.

Lord of the Flies far surpasses any present day dystopian literature, imho. I can't imagine any of my kids *not* reading it in middle school or high school. Fantastic piece of work.

It looks like this: "I have loaned you $$$ and you can't pay me back. Instead I require your 12 year old daughter as my 3rd wife. If you don't give her to me, we will drive your family out of our village by social and financial pressure, including violence." Since girls don't matter that much, you give away your 12 year old to preserve your family. Or it looks like this: Your daughter is raped and is no longer "virtuous." No other family will allow their sons to marry her. She is now a liability because she remains a mouth to feed in your family rather than an asset to her husband's family (as a cook, maid, caretaker of his parents, and bearer of his children). In anger and due to societal pressure, she's killed by her father or brothers. This is how it works. Of course it's barbaric and misogynistic! But if one subscribes to this belief system (religious and societal), it's also "understandable" in the same way that pagan cultures sacrificed their babies to the gods because they wholeheartedly believed that it would help their clan win a war. Or it would appease the god of rain and their crops wouldn't continue to wither. Saying something is understandable in this context means "it follows" given the mentality of the participants. This is why education, access to healthcare (including birth control) and empowerment of girls and women is such a major thrust in so many parts of the world.

I'm fairly certain that what she's saying is that given the social and cultural context, honor killings are "understandable" because their society and religious practice dictates it; without an extreme expression of revenge/discipline, the family unit/clan would be decimated. So if you can see that mindset, then it is "understandable".

Yeah, my kids use the word "trash" but in their context it means "lame" or that something "sucks." "That song is trash." "He played like trash." (lame, failure, etc.) This sounds a lot more mean-spirited.

I tried to watch...I lasted about 6 minutes and got bored out of my mind. It's hard to care when I don't know the couple, lol.

I thought I read this morning that he targeted kids he didn't like and left the kids who had been nice to him alone so that they would tell his story. I assume that means he thought they (the nicer kids) would be sympathetic to him and understand why he did this.