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Lang Syne Boardie

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Everything posted by Lang Syne Boardie

  1. Noodles and Company has a lot of vegan options. If you can ask your brother about Ethiopian restaurants in their area, they will frequently have vegan options, too.
  2. I had FOUR gluten-free kids. I know the first year is so hard. I know there are a lot of hard moments. It can take a long time to find the groove and feel OK, and there will still be hard moments now and then...some that will take your breath away. Especially if you have kids with other issues, which I do, and I know you do. That said, here is practical help: 1. If kids are little, you pack a lunchbox with lunch and snacks on any day when you might go anywhere, or he might go somewhere without you, or be left somewhere without you. I have a memory of doing this for years -- I actually just packed a lunchbox every day. If we didn't go anywhere or I didn't know the plans for sure, then I'd cook for lunch and they'd have their lunchbox for dinner. There's a security there, that equates to mental rest: There's grab-and-go food in the fridge. Every day. 2. Also, Dad needs some wallet cards, and any child who can read should have one, too. My boys carried these for years, in their wallet. I'd update every few months, after checking products and menus. (Name of grocery store) Grab and go food lists for snacks or meals. (I don't think I'd have to do this for grocery stores now, but 15 years ago it was a lot harder to navigate a grocery store for GF foods. You had undeclared "natural flavors" and all that nonsense, and nothing was labeled gluten free. So I would list the literal products and where to find them. I did this for every grocery store chain around.) (Name of restaurant, especially fast food) list the exact menu that you would order for your child. For example, he gets the gluten free chicken sandwich - grilled on a GF bun - at Chick-Fil-A, lemonade is OK, ask about waffle fries. He gets a bun-free double cheeseburger with bacon and a side salad with ranch dressing at Wendy's. Write in bold letters NO ADDITIONS OR SUBSTITUTIONS. NO EXTRA ITEMS. 3. As the child gets used to the diet and as he gets older, he takes over a lot of this stuff. DH will grow into it, just from familiarity - I mean, if he always gets the GF pizzas from Kroger and gets into a Johnsonville sausage and Ore-Ida tater tots groove, he will start to remember. He will remember that fresh fruits and salad (prepared at home) are always OK, eggs and potatoes and rice are OK, etc. You guys all need more time to acclimate to celiac, and you need more breaks. it will not always be like this.
  3. Strictly addressing the aspect of learning to be able to teach - I have some recommendations. My best, most efficient method was to just obtain some classical materials that I intended to teach, and teach myself first. I made my own lesson plans and solutions manuals as I went, so I could then turn and teach my child the next week (or sometimes the next day). You can also study some tutoring materials. In no particular order, I would recommend: The Well-Trained Mind Charlotte Mason series, start with Book 6 and also read some derivative works (Andreola, Levison, Macaulay) Anything by Sam Blumenfeld Anything by Ruth Beechick The Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv How Children Learn, How Children Fail, and Teach Your Own by John Holt The Eclectic Manual of Methods for the Assistance of Teachers (from one-room schoolhouse days) Ray's Arithmetic - primary and intellectual levels Rod and Staff arithmetic series - the teacher's manual is worth it (alternative that for some people would be superior in other ways, too - Math Mammoth; I did both) Anything by Liping Ma Rod and Staff English series - for grammar - as with the arithmetic, put yourself through the grammar lessons in the teacher's manual (Secular alternative: Wariner's) Traditional Logic I and II by Martin Cothran Memoria Press Latin - Form Series and/or Henle series I could go on; I haven't addressed science, or math, or art instruction and study, or music, or Greek, or anything at the high school level, or preschool. I haven't shown you what I learned to do with some of these vintage materials. I haven't named boxed materials that I found to be super beneficial to use for a year (or several years) to help me get the idea of the pace, depth, and rigor that should be appropriate for my particular children. After I could see and try a "day" and scope and sequence that I felt I could trust, I was able to develop the philosophies and skills to create my own courses. But my point is that I believe homeschool educators SHOULD be learning. Always. If we are taking on the full responsibility of educating our children, we should commit to never offering them *less* than they'd get at the local public school. As with any alternate course in life, we should know why we're bothering, why we're sacrificing, what our goals are, and where the joy is to be found. The whole picture doesn't coalesce overnight; we have to learn from our mistakes, we have to get acquainted with our children's needs and learn how to pivot. We have to learn how to prioritize and where our strengths are - for example, I like the idea of sinking oneself into favorite subjects but being very content with high-quality open-and-go resources for less favorite (or confident) subjects. Homeschoolers today are most likely to find themselves homeschooling reluctantly or as a last resort. They are reacting to school problems. In that scenario, I would love to suggest open-and-go resources with a sideline of a TON of community support, and let the rest come later. They need relief and a successful day. But for those who have some time to see this lifestyle and responsibility coming? They might as well enroll themselves in some form of Homeschool Mom University and start learning, so they'll be able to teach their children, teach THEM to learn, and go on learning together for a lifetime.
  4. I don't have the solutions manual, but my 1994 Prentice Hall and Addison Wesley versions both have answers and helps in the teacher's edition. (One of those is the Classics version, so I know what you're talking about.) There will be solutions models for examples and some of the problems, but there are answers for every problem in the teacher's edition. I wouldn't say NOT to get the solutions manual, if you can! But I'm getting along without it; the teacher's edition is enough for me. Actually, for the Alg 1, I am creating my own solutions manual as I go. This is what the teacher's edition is: https://www.amazon.com/Algebra-Expressions-Equations-Applications-Teachers/dp/0201324598/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=foerster+algebra+1+teacher+edition&qid=1576870769&sr=8-2 Edit: Well, now I feel like I've recommended something unhelpful, because I cannot find this for a decent price anywhere. 😕
  5. Solving for x on both side of the equation - this is a typical moment to realize that your student doesn't really get Algebra yet. A lot of students really need a teacher for Algebra, too. If you wanted to teach her yourself, I would recommend Foerster Algebra 1, chapter 4 for this particular concept. Actually, at this point I would probably drop TT and the video lecture format, and switch to Foerster, going back to the beginning. Foerster's is SO good at the why. Not only is the "why" very thoroughly explained in the student book, but the teacher's manual also includes a lot of help for you, to get the concepts across. And then after you teach the lesson, you would work through examples together on the blackboard. The exercises clearly link back to the lesson - she will know why she's attacking each problem in a particular way. If she completed TT Pre-Alg, I would guess that she is ready for Foerster's Alg 1, if you would work with her every single day. One of my students needed a do-over on Algebra 1. He's thriving with Foerster's. If you are up for giving it a try, you can always ask for help here! We used to do a lot more of that, on these forums - helping each other understand how to *teach* a concept or skill. 🙂
  6. Oh, about handwriting being required...one of my children used alphabet stamps for awhile. Wouldn't be practical for anything but a phonics workbook, and not beyond 1st or 2nd grade, but worth mentioning.
  7. You need some vintage Spectrum workbooks. You can find the "Little Critter" version from 2003 on Amazon - don't be put off by the prices; look at the used for a couple of dollars. https://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Phonics-Little-Critter-Workbooks/dp/0769680712/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=little+critter+phonics+grade+1&qid=1575481512&sr=8-2 https://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Phonics-Little-Critter-Workbooks/dp/1577688228/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=little+critter+phonics&qid=1575481406&sr=8-6
  8. I have 2E children, too, and I wouldn't use CLE for any child, anywhere, yet I don't actually have an opinion on what Wendy should do with her child. I think she's got a better handle on her own family than anyone else could. So I'm not disagreeing with you about the fit of CLE.
  9. If you like straightforward lessons and working together at the white board, I would recommend Rod and Staff. If you then like Rod and Staff, it is my opinion that Foerster Algebra is the perfect follow-up to R&S. I think you must have ended up with some gaps, if you have a combination of hitting walls yet coming across too much review. I had gaps in my own elementary math education, because my family moved many times within a few years. I totally missed 4th grade fractions and decimals instruction, for example. It's a common problem, no matter how children are schooled. I was worried about my math gaps, when I started homeschooling 22 years ago. I had managed to get through high school math and achieve some vocational training, but those high school math courses haunted me, and I was concerned that I wouldn't be qualified to teach my own children. I bought Ray's Arithmetic and worked through the first few books. Then I bought Rod and Staff grades 4 and 5. I studied each lesson, and practiced the teacher's manual lesson plans on myself, and solved every problem, before teaching the lessons to my eldest son. I tried to stay a week ahead, but for a long period of time, I was working out the next day's lessons after putting my children to bed. (I did the same for grammar and Latin.) I did remediate my own math education. After working out a few years of Ray's and R&S, I also worked through other curriculum (Horizons and Math Mammoth), and I read a lot about math instruction (and about tutoring in math). Eventually, I was able to teach my own children, and a couple of tutored extras, through Alg 1 and Geometry. My husband helps with Alg 2 through Calculus. Here are my suggestions for remediating your daughter's math gaps: 1. Buy R&S arithmetic, grades 4 and 5. You could use these as a diagnostic, to look for the gaps. She'll probably need to start somewhere in one of these two books, once she's just needed a few helps through chapter reviews until you find the starting place for daily progress. 2. Start with chapter reviews, as has been suggested in this thread - start at the beginning of the fourth grade book. If she passes with an A, move on through the chapter reviews until she hits a snag. Isolate the lacking skills or knowledge, and go back and do those lessons. *When you get to totally new material, stop skipping through chapter tests, and start working the subsequent lessons daily.* 3. Work on all lessons together, at the white board! Teach the lesson in the manual, including all the review work. Stay engaged with her each day, and let her tell you the answers to the problems as she goes. Check them as she goes, so you can move back to the whiteboard and figure out what went wrong. ***************** If you work together, the boredom and irritation at being left with a pageful of problems will disappear. An engaged teacher can make all the difference. Work at the whiteboard, do odds or evens for the repetitive drill work (if she misses one, have her do the corresponding problem of the same type), don't skip the reviews in the teacher's manual. The hidden benefit is that you will become very familiar with her math knowledge, and you will be able to go forward WITH her into Algebra and beyond. If you leave her to do an elementary level TT on her own, you will get the exact same results you've gotten from the other programs. She will miss some stuff, start to dislike it, and rebel at the confusing tedium. Honestly, this reaction makes complete sense to me, because that's how I felt as a child when we moved around between schools too much. Math was always just barely in my grasp, disliked, unrewarding. When I filled in my knowledge gaps and studied how to teach it, math became one of my favorite subjects to teach to my own children. That's why I recommend learning and teaching it yourself, and just using other pedagogical tricks of engagement to keep them from getting overwhelmed or bored. (Instead of mostly leaving them with it, and then curriculum hopping.) Lastly, if you hate R&S and are very proficient with math, yourself, you could use Lial's basic college math to diagnose the gaps, and then just use whichever approach suits you. Math Mammoth has a series dedicated to specific skill sets - if you decide the problem is mainly fractions, Math Mammoth, or alternatively, the Keys To...series could be used to address that, for example. I've stopped giving any advice to homeschoolers, because I'm usually told I'm placing undue burdens on parents by expecting that they should do what I did, which was to learn the subject and learn to teach it...but since your username is "hands-on mama" I took a chance! Thought you might be the type to be comfortable with chalkboards, cutting apples into fractions, practicing with money, using an abacus, all of that, on a daily basis to help your child learn. 🙂
  10. Please re-read the OP's posts about her child. He has special needs that are far beyond and outside violent reactions to his math curriculum. His special needs are not what her vent was about - she was talking about an issue with the curriculum that would be a problem for anyone who noticed it, which was why the post belonged on the K-8 curriculum board. *I don't really know the OP beyond some recollection of her posts. I figured this out from her posts in THIS thread. I think she made it clear that she understands math pedagogy (and has prior experience as a home educator) and that she understands her child's diagnosis and needs. This thread was about a serious deficiency in a popular math program.
  11. I'm sorry if this feels like picking on you, but are you saying that CLE omitted clear instruction or terminology because they only intend their program to be used by children who used it in the prior year, and they expect the student - without instruction or reminder or reference - to remember the concept from a year ago, when it was only "taught" to them in this simplistic way? And then the student will know, based on the fact from 3rd grade that 3/4 does not equal 4/4, that he must multiply both the top and bottom of the fraction to get an equivalent? I'd never heard that you couldn't use CLE unless the child had used it from the beginning; I'd always heard that you just have to do a placement test and you're good to go. This is dreadful.
  12. Does CLE have a teacher's manual, or is this the entirety of the instruction? This doesn't teach how or why to multiply the numerator and denominator by the same multiplier for an equivalent fraction. It only shows that 3 is less than 4.
  13. Rigidity - one of my kids could be like that. (Autism.) It was very, very good that he didn't need anything for college, because there was no way he would have allowed any help from me. And I was not up for it, anyway; we had kind of used up more than the appropriate levels of maternal attention over a life-threatening illness that he had at 18. He hit the ground running in college. Totally aced it, in every single way, and moved out as soon as he could. We have a very good relationship, probably because we didn't keep pushing the parent/child thing past the necessary point (again, his illness). There was seriously nothing left beyond that, so it's good he didn't need it. So I can see why you wouldn't be up for this. However you felt about it toward your kid, willing or not, it probably wouldn't happen. Shouldn't. I think my pushback toward you in this thread is that you are strongly opinionating and "should'ing" about totally different situations than you've experienced or are facing. If you had said something like, "For my child and for children who are capable of leaving home 100% independent at 18, I think that's appropriate," I don't think I or anyone else would have argued as much.
  14. Also, the idea that our kids don't know struggle and have never failed. Ye gods. Walk a mile in the shoes of a kid with a physical disability or learning difference, he has been knocked DOWN a few times. And got back up, and fought, and won. My son is very tough, and has paid his own way, as much as he is able, since he was 16 years old.
  15. My son's only option that had accreditation for his field is this one college. That happens to people a lot. What is magical about age 17 or 18? Why must your child be fully independent and not need your support at that age, vs. 21 or 23? Nobody here has been talking about their child depending on them forever. If a bit of scaffolding re: the calendar IS dependence. Having raised children to adulthood, I know that there can be windows for doing things. If we have a child with special needs and we keep him out of college until those special needs are outgrown or gone, he might never go. I don't see most young adults wanting to work with their parents for very long, delaying the start of their training and independent life, especially when they absolutely have the intelligence, academic preparation, and drive to start NOW. Honestly, I hope my son will acclimate to college before he turns 21, because I've not seen any of my boys want any sort of dependence on parents by then. (This is as normal for disabled young adults as for abled.) When my son's physical disability progressed to the point that he knew there was no chance of a non-college career that would be rewarding and self-supporting, he wanted to start college right away. He didn't want to feel like a person who couldn't do things, would never make something of himself, too disabled to succeed. I thought he might need *some* help, at first, even though (as I've said) he was pretty much fully independent and mature. He's got a 3.9 GPA and is advancing in all college-going skills, but he has definitely surprised me with the amount of feedback and assistance he's needed, to manage it all at first. It feels like when he was first diagnosed with his physical disability while going through puberty and starting high school. He overcame that. He will overcome this. It would have been a terrible disservice to him, to not allow him to go to college just because he still needed home support. I'm not withdrawing his room and board, or his medical support for his mobility needs, and I'm not withdrawing the emotional and EF support for his learning curve. He's never outgrowing those mobility needs. There will, however, be an end to a need for any support for college, and he will certainly support himself (and pay his own medical bills) in the future. Again, just something to think about. ANY disability does NOT mean being kept out of college or training until it's cured. Not everything can be cured, but some things - like wheelchair ramps and executive function coaching - can help a capable person meet their goals. Holding back young adults can have severe ramifications, if they lose faith in themselves. Our kids with special needs will go a lot farther if they believe in themselves, and if their parents believe in them, too. Again, I am talking about students who can succeed at college with a smidge of help. The learning difference equivalent of a wheelchair ramp.
  16. One of my DIL's goals is to help take these conversations mainstream - she tends to look at special needs as a different kind of normal, which perspective comes from working with many people of varied needs. You do start to wonder what normal is, and if anyone is, and why it matters! The real conversation is about what we've learned as we help each other grow and succeed (in many ways). But I recently got a HUGE heap of judgment, in a new social group I'm in (actually, it's my youngest son's activity, but parents are heavily involved), when I "made the mistake" of sharing with some other moms that I was helping my college-aged son with anything. I didn't expect that. I'm not sure why, when the same people had been talking about their adult children living with them, or supporting their pregnant teen daughter, or babysitting their grandchildren for free, or taking care of their elderly parents. Why is it OK for all these people to not be 100% independent, without needing home support, but my college freshman with physical and learning disabilities should have it all together (away from home)? What? Having been a parent for 24 years, homeschooling for 20+, and having seen kids through an awful lot, I am not up for that kind of shock at my choices. So I probably won't mention it again. My conscience allows this because my DIL is out there doing more effective and energetic advocacy than I ever could.
  17. As I said, same here. If you ever find yourself taking extra steps that you didn't expect to need to take, while doing that same thing that I've done and am still doing - building a skill set for independent function of which he is capable - I hope you will remember this thread and remit some judgment.
  18. At some point, I hope you will also share your opinions and judgments on how parents of otherwise differently abled children are doing things to help them bridge to independence as adults. I would prefer to hear your personal experiences as a parent of a non-neurotypical or disabled adult child. Do you have any experience? My third son is one of four children with physical disabilities and/or learning differences. I've gotten two of them to independent adulthood, fully capable, fully launched. This one will get there, as well. (He would be there now, if not for his physical disability that prohibits him from going into other careers which have training periods more suited to his capabilities.) His younger brother, with the most physical disabilities of them all, will make it to independent adulthood, as well. I know what I'm doing. Corraleno knows what she's doing, too.
  19. Well, my daughter-in-law is a special needs teacher in a high school. This is basically what she does for her students, in addition to her work of writing their education plans and working with their teachers. It's kind of a new field, and she has special training, to be able to do it for children who are not her own and whom she just met. Her mentors and college professors hope to see such programs expanded into more high schools and also into universities.
  20. I once worked as a back office medical assistant for a general practitioner who was definitely the absent-minded professor type. He needed excessive reminders. It was almost comical, how many reminders he needed, and how frequently. He didn't expect to lose his job because he was the boss. It was his business, and we worked for him. He only hired people who would help him remember stuff. Not all the employees, but one in the front office and two in the back office. Duties were clearly outlined, and included specifics like "Don't let Dr. M leave the room without XYZ. He will not remember. You are responsible for this!" My best friend is married to a very successful lawyer who has autism. She worked as his secretary for years, until she quit to homeschool their children. Someone else was hired for the very specific job description of keeping track of more than a secretary usually keeps track of, because the boss was not neurotypical. As far as my bolded additions to your quote, surely you know that another definition of disability might be "unusual." However, I disagree that it's so unusual for college students to need parental reminders, at least for first year and/or first generation college students. It's a new thing to learn, and they will learn it. As far as adults at work: The onus is on every adult to find a career and job at which they can succeed. But being neurotypical and ordinarily abled are not requirements for employment or success.
  21. OK, Coralleno was typing the exact same thing. :)
  22. Solely for the purpose of not leaving @Corraleno punching into the air here alone, I will add my two bits: I am also helping a college student with EF issues and ADHD to get through college. He's my third son, he is highly intelligent and gifted in his field, and there's not one single EF skill that he has not mastered. He just can't do them all at once. I help him schedule out the pacing of his major papers and products, but I don't have to tell him *how* to research, write a rough draft, revise it, cite it properly, add his bibliography. I don't have to help him with a single idea or a thesis. I don't help him with project concepts or execution, although again, I will suggest the pacing for the steps that HE tells me are necessary. He can cook, clean, hold down a job (and excel), do his laundry, iron, perform maintenance on his car, successfully navigate relationships, communicate with professors, see to his own health care appointments, maintain good personal habits...he has learned it ALL. He learned most of if it years ago, at the developmentally appropriate time (or shortly thereafter). And I'm the one who taught him. But college requires all of this at once. He has to hold down a part-time job while he's there (including a sometimes unpredictable schedule), and his major demands large amounts of studio time (which is hard to schedule, for anyone). He has a special diet and a physical disability, and he does not have a neurotypical brain. I know this, because again, I have always been here...I have known since he was a preschooler that he is not neurotypical and he needs a lot of support, but he is also highly intelligent and capable; we never do come up against a skill or concept that he can't learn. But when it all gets overwhelming, he benefits from someone asking him, "So what is the next thing? What is today's list, and where do you want to start?" He will take a deep breath, and sort it. If my helping him - at the level of going over a giant whiteboard in the schoolroom every evening, and helping him draft a plan for short, medium, and long-term projects, and excusing him from his usual cooking and cleaning chores (temporarily), and being available for a few hours in the evenings to help him keep track of his homework until he gets into his predictable groove - if all of that means that he gets to EARN his 3.9 GPA, enjoy college, get that degree, successfully network for his career... then yeah. I am helping him. And you know what, he's got a lot of friends who struggle, too. A lot of first generation college students, a lot of art students who struggle with the academic side of classes, and a LOT of classmates on various kinds of drugs to cope. They don't exercise, sleep, or eat healthfully. At least half of them will not be in college after this first year. My son will be, and he will be healthy. He will have picked up more skills, and I will probably be helping a lot less, with each passing year. And his career life will be nothing like college. He will have to work hard, be creative, and collaborate, but the whole scenario is more simple - no more job plus unrelated classes plus academics plus studio time. His career will be one big thing with a lot of aspects, which works for his way of thinking. His father and brother are the same kind, and are excelling in skilled labor. This son is the first of this "type" in the family to go to college, and to manage many different things at once. He doesn't work harder than his father and brother, but their lot is straightforward. My whiteboard and daily conversations help make college life into one big thing with a lot of aspects, instead of feeling so fragmented and overwhelming in his mind. This is accommodation. 1. A writing lab at school wouldn't help him. He's a terrific writer. He does not need to learn how to write. 2. A math lab at school wouldn't help him. He has no problems with math. 3. A study group wouldn't help him. He enjoys discussions in class, and makes friends easily, but while he is studying he uses his own methods. They are more effective, because again, he mastered them long ago. He has found that study groups tend to operate on a lower intellectual level, at least during this first year. 4. A scheduled weekly visit for some oversight and encouragement for first generation or ADHD students wouldn't help him. (His brother's university had that.) He needs daily help, from someone who wants to hear about what he's learned and who can recognize his big wins and successes, while still noticing where he's starting to put something off or get overwhelmed. At the moment, I'm the best candidate for this. And after college, he will not need me to help with his career. So I hope I have illuminated the EF situation in some way, for anyone who is confused. I've described a student who HAS all the skills and who HAS all the intelligence, who just needs help with too many irons in the fire. College is not too many irons in the fire for everyone. But it is for him. His career and post-college life will not have too many irons in the fire.
  23. @happysmileylady, obviously, everyone understands the meaning of your phrase about easier not necessarily being better, so there was no need to explain your verbiage. But thank you for outlining some of our opinions on the topic at hand. On one hand, childcare has always been a struggle. On the other hand, anyone who thinks that today's scenario is the same as for any other generation, is not paying attention. Tax structures, college costs (including parental student loans), health care, inflation, wage stagnation, all of these are moved goalposts. It's a different world, requiring different solutions. "Working families" - I don't really believe you need this spelled out, but just in case, I will explain that I am using that expression within the context of this discussion, to differentiate between families that have all parents working full-time (with an understanding that there are sole breadwinner, single parents as well as two-income, two-parents-working families) and families that have a parent who can provide childcare at home and/or have a relative who will do it for discounted or free.
  24. What does that mean, in the context of this discussion? Do you think it's preferable for working families to have to struggle to afford before and afterschool childcare, or for children to be in a latchkey situation for years of their childhood, or for families to remain in poverty because they can't afford for both parents to work...? I'm not assuming what you meant; I'm outlining some of the alternatives to an extended school day (and the situation that we currently have). I'm not assuming, I'm asking: For *whom* should *what* be harder instead of easier?
  25. We had a potluck for one of our kids' activities this weekend. 2 of 3 of my family attending were not even eating, but I'm old-school about potlucks, so I took several (frugal) large dishes, anyway. I like to take cheese, fruit, and veg of some kind, because people who would like some plain foods are usually out of luck. I left before the meal, but it did NOT look like enough food. I honestly do not care if people would like to contribute a bucket of KFC chicken and store-bought salad and cookies. I do care that somebody is trying to assemble a meal for 100 when families of 4 to 12 people (seriously) each brought a bag of potato chips and some grapes. The volume you bring has to somewhat match the volume you will consume, which is how you get basically enough of most food categories for everyone and a few leftovers. Not only did people bring inadequate food for their own family, but as many in the thread have mentioned, many who promised a certain dish decided not to come, and didn't tell the organizers until the last minute. They were glad to see my extra veggie and cheese trays. I've decided that there are now fewer eating occasions that I'm willing to host - a dinner party, a backyard BBQ, or any other party which I am personally hosting (solo). OR I wouldn't mind helping with a prepared banquet, dinner, or reception for an organization that is paid in advance. (Whether it's funds allocated or a collection taken.) I would be happy to work with a committee on such-and-such an event with X amount in the budget, so we can make choices and create a good spread. I just don't have the nerves required to set out not-enough-food for a huge gathering of people. Honestly, the last big family dinner went no better. I ended up cooking an awful lot, and then washing all the dishes, without the fun (and control) of just hosting my own dinner party. I also don't see any reason to continue traditions that don't work for people anymore. If it's going to stress everybody out to do a potluck - to the point that they have difficulty even getting to the store for the deli veggie tray or whatever, why do it? If it's just a matter of feeding people, let them buy in, and the organizers can order something (or let someone who has time and interest arrange for a more complete meal). If it's a potluck amongst foodies, because they enjoy cooking and want to share, that group may still do potlucks. The old rules will still work.
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