It's not too much to ask, but if he hasn't been doing it then he probably doesn't get it. Firstly, you don't want to divorce, you love him and think that he's a good guy with flaws? You married him and had his babies for a reason. Hold on tight to that. You are in a very tough season. I've done the weird shifts and lots of small babies and it is hard on a marriage but worth holding on. I promise in 4 years things will be very different. In your situation, I would take him at his word when he says to wake him when you need him. Eventually it will be the new routine for him but at the moment it needs prodding. So start waking him sweetly at 9.30am every morning with a coffee and a kiss. Around 10 get yourself set up to start school soon and call out to him that the kids will be coming in in 10mins. I would try to be in a different school room so there's a physical line to help cement the mental line. If he asks you for something, very sweetly say something like 'whatever you think is best honey, we'll be at work here until 12' rinse and repeat. Don't get drawn into micromanaging. At 12, come out cheerfully, let your kids tell him the interesting school they've just done, thank him. Then you can say something like 'okay, it's lunchtime! I will do x task, can you do y? Children, pack up your toys' You're trying to steer the family culture so everyone is working together, and so he recognises and respects that you are working too!

I feel for you, that's a pretty brutal shift! Basically, he is getting an hour of alone time working out plus an hour of waking up time everyday. So, if he's working 9, commuting 2, sleeping 8 and using 2, that leaves 3 hours a day. So ge leaves at 1, starts at 2, works until 11, works out until midnight, gets home at 1. Shower/relax then asleep by 1.30 (no dawdling!), up at 9.30 - be useful by 10.30. Couldn't he watch the little kids while you school 10.30-12, then between 12-1 you all pitch in together to make lunch - including an extra portion for him to take - and tidy up afterwards. This is your family dinner meal, all together.

Awwww, he's a keeper! :lol:

Flora and ulysses Sophie and the shadow woods

I actually just did up our 2018 term schedule and decided on 36 weeks divided into 9x4 week terms. So it's about 4 weeks on 1 week off. Appointments and excursions in our off weeks.

When my brain has already left the building... we finished a little early this year because I just couldn't think. I made up a list of independent work and let my brain rest without guilt.

Ellen McHenry's mapping the world with art for geography? She has videos lessons on her website. I also assign extra books and require a response/output of some kind. For example, When dd did The Elements she made a Google slides presentation. She also read What Einstein Told His Cook and spent time trying the recipes - I wasn't involved in any of that.

We don't stress about Christmas here. I order a lot of stuff online but we really don't go overboard with gifts, 2-3 things each kid generally - they get gifts from grandparents too. I get something small for other kids in our lives and generally a token gift for families (like a nice soap, photo frame, cookies etc) Dh and I don't do gifts for each other. I don't decorate really, we have lived in tiny homes with no room - I do like to outline a Christmas tree shape in fairy lights on the wall and stack presents on a table underneath. We don't do santa or stockings. I bake with the kids in the week before Christmas, the last few years we've done gingerbread cookies/houses with friends. The families take turns hosting the meal and everyone contributes, everyone brings a one or two of a side/dish/dessert/drinks etc. Often the men will be cooking a main piece of meat on the barbecue outside. No one person has to do all the cooking, and everyone pitches in with cleaning up - it's part of the family culture on the day. Next Christmas, 2018, we will be in our new house so it will be my turn to host! I'm actually really excited about it, and so is dd!

I'd pick #2. It's close, 2 full days so you actually get a decent rest those days, with 3 extra days for speech and homeschooling. 5 days of driving for half days would be too much for me - how much of a break would you even get before having to turn around and pick up? The private kindy would be my next choice.

Ah crap. That massively sucks, I'm so sorry Hornblower.

How awful and scary, I'm so sorry.

I would not react well if my 7th grader asked me to send away a sibling. Yes, she and her 10 & 7 year old brothers fight and annoy each other but, honestly, we are a family, I would nip that attitude in the bud asap. I'm sorry op, sounds like a very difficult situation. Eta- brainstorming ideas to help meet his needs is a good idea. I'm wondering, and I don't want to step on toes here, but what does dad say?

Well, Kells was on my wishlist but I hadn't heard much about it! How lovely to see a positive review here, thanks!

How has your 2017 school year gone? Are you finished? We finished up early because we are building a house over Dec/Jan and my brain broke :lol: What went well? What didn't go so well? I had huge success this year with a few things: Morning time - reading Genevieve Foster history books, doing a little art every day. We also do narration, read aloud from Spurgeon and Shakespeare with dictation. Singing folk songs in Russian - even my 4 year old loves it! Giving my older two a bit more independent work worked well too. Needs tweaking: Science. Gah. It's always sporadic. We learned a lot but not as consistently as I'd like. Latin. As above. I'm currently reading through Classical Writing's Homer in preparation for next year. I've planned out my terms for next year (4 weeks on, 1 week off) And I'm procrastinating because I'm waiting for a tradesman to call me back and I may be stressing out!

Dec 1st - Something that was new to you Art, drawing, painting. I never in my life thought that I could make something that barely resembles what it is supposed to :lol: I get it in a way that I never thought I was capable of. Dec 2nd - 2017 summed up in three words That's hard! How about... Kids Growing Up. 😢 this year my youngest turned 4 and night toilet trained etc. I've never had a 'my youngest turned 4' moment before! Dec 3rd - Your favorite memory of 2017 Hmmm, probably a general memory of all hanging out on our property on the weekend, working together in the sunshine.

I think I would feel better about it if the law enforcement interaction was kept separate from the adoption interaction. So, cop meets pregnant woman on drugs, deals with the situation by the book, may feel a connection and be friendly - does not mention adopting the baby because that is unprofessional! Brings in lawyer/agency to discuss with the mother what her options are. Cop goes home and discusses the situation with his wife, they agree to offer to adopt. Cop then speaks to the lawyer/agency about the possibility and correct procedure. If the mother had already decided she wanted to plae for adoption and IF the cop family meets the agency requirements THEN the cop can offer to the woman - through the proper agency channels. At no stage has an authority figure asked a person under their direct authority to give them their baby! I would hold a police officer to a higher standard, they should work extra hard to avoid any hint of improper use of authority. Maybe that's how it happened in real life and the reporting was crap. I hope so. What if a teacher asked her pregnant 17 year old student for her baby? What if a ceo asked their pregnant casual checkout operator for her baby? What if the pregnant girls doctor directly asked for her baby during a pelvic exam?! The very presence of a power differential IS coercion. So yes, it makes me uncomfortable.

Grave of the fireflies is not for children, in my opinion, it's haunting. A lot of my favourites have been mentioned. My kids love Howl, Ponyo and Totoro the best. We also love Spirited Away, Nausicaa, Mononoke, Laputa. One I don't think I saw mentioned was Tales from Earthsea based on Le Guin's novel...

Doesn't using an agency even it out a bit though? I would expect a police officer to realise his authority and to be extremely careful about even the appearance of taking advantage of his power. I'm not sure this passes the test.

I agree. A better question might be, why on earth would they report? If there's almost zero chance of any justice and a high chance of further trauma - why on earth would they bother? What happens is exactly what we expect to happen, they go into self preservation and survival mode, walking wounded.

Why don't they report: https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/11112996

At every high school I went to (3) and every high school amongst my friends, there was at least one known **wink wink nudge nudge** don't be alone with that creepy male teacher who stands too close to the girls and stares at their chests. There was at least one actual predator who's now in jail, and one 'relationship' that started immediately after graduation (like, within the week) Sadie was exactly right, we hear about the female teacher/male student because it is unusual and titillating.

Why don't women report? Largely because no one believes them, nothing comes from reports anyway, and they are ashamed - they feel like it's their own fault. I can bet that for the victim - she probably felt stupid for going into his office (even though it's her job and she should be safe at work), for smiling or going along with the joke at the beginning (we try to placate our attackers to allow for less violence and a chance of escape). She probably had sketchy memory after passing out and her rapist would have already had time to tell colleagues/the nurse some lie - it would be much easier to stay in denial a little longer rather than tell your colleagues that you were just raped! And then, how do you tell your husband? He was probably called by someone at the office saying she was sick or some bs. The truth probably came out a little later, after she was able to process and name what had happened and say it out loud and crush the person who loves her. In the meantime her rapist has been telling his story all over the office and painting her as an unreliable witness "she passed out, she seemed confused/off/delicate" and then management would issue an 'everyone be sensitive and stop gossiping' edict - so his side is THE side. In the meantime, she is trying to pull herself together. There are new bills to pay - counsellor, doctor/hospital, morning after pill, days off work etc - and suddenly there's a 'concerned' phonecall from the company lawyer offering some more time off and a cash amount that the company uses for 'people who have a mental health emergency' - before you know it she's been payed off and discredited in one hit. Now, after a few weeks and counselling sessions she remembers more and feels strong enough to relive it all over again (and again and again) for the police - too late. Why didn't she immediately report? The evidence is gone. And besides, you're not exactly a believable witness - you went in the office willingly and joked around with him regularly. He says it's consensual and you didn't remember then changed your story. No case. Oh, they care, there's just not enough evidence to risk charging a powerful man. She goes back to work. Colleagues think she's a mental case and a slut trying to sleep her way to the top. The lawyers check in again and warn that - since the police aren't prosecuting - she better not slander him. ***pieced together from the cases I know personally. Obviously I have no idea what actually happened.

You know, you are allowed to just say no. You are allowed to trust your gut feeling. You don't owe his new wife anything. The buying a wife like an accessory would have me... not being nice. I would not be having that in my home in front of my teenage daughter - I would not normalise this relationship in her mind.

I am so very sorry Yael, I cannot imagine. I will tell my sister, thank you.

I'm glad your mum is okay! Similar with my sister, except she had chemo before radio - she was 29 and they wanted to throw everything at it. She has been clear for over a year now, and she doesn't have any of the known BRACA mutations.