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Everything posted by LMD

  1. Yeah he's a weird one, he's very big on personal responsibility - especially for young men. That's his main shtick. From what I gather, agnostic but with a respect for the way religion has evolved as a part of human nature and to fill some human/societal need.
  2. I love it when blokes try to frame women having standards and boundaries as being regressive, animalistic and mean. Also, it's very much projection (They are the ones running off instinct/hormones and ranking women) and gives us a valuable insight into how they view women. Evo-psych dudebros are the plague, incels are just a symptom. Peterson is an enigma to me, very interesting and thoughtful sometimes, painfully offensive blowhard other times! I subjected myself to his interview with Milo Yiannopolis and it was like two ferrets fencing.
  3. My bold, 😄 true Thank you, it is all working out really well, it has just taken an awful lot longer than we anticipated!
  4. I drive 90 mins each way once a week for music lessons for my kids. It's worth it to me because, 1. even counting the driving it's less time taken up per week than our old studio (which had non-negotiable 3x a week lessons!) 2. the lessons are less than 2 mins from my best friend's house and she also homeschools! 3. The teacher is wonderful, especially with my not so easy child. 4. We listen to audio books and podcasts and watch documentaries in the car. But it is a big time investment, our whole day is gone. It is exhausting sometimes so I need to be careful that the tiredness doesn't bleed over into the next (few) day(s). Packing the car the day before definitely helps with leaving on time!
  5. We are in the middle of building an off grid home in rural Aus. Some issues we've run into: 1. Conflicting rules, for example we're not supposed to cut down (most kinds of) trees on our property without a permit, but we're also not supposed to clear fallen trees and debris because habitat. That's the environmental department. The fire management department wants us to clear everything because leaf litter and scrub from oily eucalypts is a fire hazard. 2. The state epa changes it's rules and lists of approved products regularly and with no notice or explanation. I've had to scramble more than once. 3. The way that building permit approval algorithms work, it is much easier to pass the energy efficiency requirements with a ginormous mcmansion than a small home. Our is a very modest home, totally solar powered, vermiculture septic system, renewable local sourced wood for heating and cooking, all low voltage/energy efficient appliances/lighting etc. We barely passed as efficient enough. 4. In the same vein, no one wants to build a house like this because there's not enough profit margin. It's been an absolute bear getting trades people on board because it's not a standard cookie cutter building contract and/or it's not a million dollar project. We had to put our own solar system together because you can only buy massive full systems that companies put together with the main goal of meeting the requirements for government rebates... So yeah, one size fits all easy solutions are a pita.
  6. Much sympathy, I have a very similar mother that I do not have contact with. You've had great advice. Ditsy steamroller- you need to get comfortable with simple answers and silence. So with example 1: "Wednesday? I'm not sure" <--- this is the ditsy part. Then just wait her out. Don't fill the silence. Check your emails or something to distract yourself <--- this is the steamroller part. For example: Crazy mom - "do you have plans next Wednesday?" You - (channel your inner airhead!) "Hmm, Wednesday, what day is today again hahaha? I don't know." And WAIT. CM - Will probably blather on for a while about whatever elaborate plans she's already made in her own head. You - *before she gets to the end* "oh gosh, gotta go mom, I'll think about it, talk to you soon, love you!" Hang. up. the. phone. Then, you take your time thinking about it and email your reply (or get dh to reply) - keeping it brief and light "Hi mom, thanks for thinking of us re next Wed. Sorry, it won't work for us. Love you!" Or, "Hi mom, thanks for thinking of us re next Wed, it sounds lovely and we'd be able to (meet you there/see you afterwards/go together/alternative suggestion - only put the single option that you really are happy with.) Look forward to seeing you then!" Situation 2: CM - "So what is granddaughter going to do about college?" You (are an airhead!) - "oh, she's figuring out something!" Be comfortable with the silence. CM - Will probably blather on about the elaborate plans she thinks you/dd should be making about college. You - *before she finishes* "mmm, yes, I'm sure dd is considering many wonderful options. Okay, must be off, chat soon love you mom bye" hang. up. the. phone. Situation 3 - I would only allow my children to speak for short periods of time, supervised by me/dad. If you're struggling to chat healthily with her, it will be at least as difficult for them. I would give my kids an assigned thing to chat about and it would be in the past. ie. "Tell grandma about yesterday at the park with your friends/last week's trip to the museum etc, while I *do short 5 min job in earshot*" Then after 5 minutes give them an out, ask for the phone back and say to grandma "aww it's lovely that you chat with grandchild. Hope you have a fab day mom, talk again soon!" Hang. up. the. phone.
  7. No. He had a goatee for a while, but we were teenagers then lol. It suited him. He couldn't have facial hair for his job (sealed mask) so he got used to clean shaven - including the top of his head - and now more than 3 day stubble makes him itchy. Eta, we're both in our 30s. Him later 30s than me! Eta again, his father (60) and brother (30) both vary between short goatee/stash and clean shaven.
  8. Rabbits are on the large side for most of the snakes I'm familiar with. The ones around here mostly eat smaller rodents, mice and rats. They sometimes do eat the rabbits but I think they're more likely to find a nest and eat the young rather than take down the adults. My cat has caught herself a rabbit or two, mostly juveniles, they are about 2/3rds her size but she is a good hunter! Landowners here have to do pest control for rabbits. And kangaroos!
  9. Dingoes aren't found everywhere, mostly in the Northern Territory and North generally (northern QLD, WA etc). They're not in Tasmania at all. We are very south on the mainland and don't get dingoes here. We have foxes. Lots of foxes. They eat the rabbits, and lambs, and chickens and anything they can get to. We still have heaps of rabbits, and some well fed foxes. We also have other wild dogs, usually domestics that have escaped/been abandoned and breed - sometimes with dingoes. We don't really have any other native big predators, except crocodiles - also in the north. Our most deadly native animals are spiders and snakes and ocean animals (blue ring octopus, jellyfish) Wild rabbits are such a destructive pest, we introduced Myxomatosis virus widely in the 50s, then Calicivirus in the 90s. Both viruses helped a lot initially, though now there's more natural resistance in wild rabbits. Eta - we also have feral cats.
  10. I don't think I ever will. Dh mostly gets quiet and sad when he's angry at me, doesn't matter, I still react the same way. Anger also isn't just yelling, I've seen men turn cold/nasty and even jokey/sickly-sweet/nasty, still very dangerous.
  11. Well, I did grow up in a dv house and my instinct to diminish myself in front of male anger is not something I can control. I thought it was a pretty universal feeling, a lot of men are just plain stronger and our safety in the world is pretty much based on their goodwill... and there certainly is a type of abuser who targets strong women to put them back in their place. I also agree with Stacia and wonder if your instincts were kicking in about a particular male. I would trust those instincts.
  12. I hate it when dh does this (rarely) He judges me about how many apps/tabs I have open and closes them! 😡 If I snoop on his phone (also rarely lol) I make sure to leave it as I find it! That's just the respectful way to snoop! 😄 * this is a lighthearted marital annoyance, not a deal breaker or sign of the apocalypse. *
  13. They are adorable bunnies WendyandMilo! 😍 Wow chocolate-chip chooky, those are incredible fines! They aren't illegal here but we can't have bunnies, calicivirus is rampant in these parts and pet bunnies have no immunity. You can actually get a vaccine for pet bunnies against it but it's expensive. We have plenty of cute wild bunnies! My cat likes to eat them... 😳
  14. We are pretty rural so no walking to parks or stores here. We are fairly overprotective. I let my 13 year old go into town (dropped off) with a friend and wander the shops for a few hours. The friend is slightly older and a good influence. I let my 11 year old run into stores/library etc for me, he's naturally pretty responsible. I would probably let my nearly 9 year old do it too. My 5 year old? No way. He can maybe pay with correct change while I'm there 😄 In what you described, 10+ with similar aged friends or well behaved 8+ sibling I'd probably be okay with, for short amounts of time. They'd need to wear a watch and be responsible enough to check it and leave time enough to walk home. I would not make them responsible for an under 6 year old though.
  15. Yes, I've been ambushed too! I think maize's message is perfect. Cheery and less is more. I have a similar situation with my sister and mother. My sister and I keep a good but somewhat distant relationship, I have been estranged from our mother while she is close to her. It's... awkward and I do feel bad for my sister as our mother puts her in the middle (I absolutely do not). She doesn't have kids yet though, and it's going to be very interesting if/when they do. My sister got married last year and it was the first time that I had to be in the same place as my mother and her family. My aunts were surprisingly happy to see me and very kind. My mother very obviously and rudely blanked me! Probably the least painful option. We didn't stay for the reception and my sister, while sad, understood.
  16. I understood it as whole to parts = someone who needs to see the big picture or they feel bogged down in the details. Parts to whole = big picture is overwhelming, give me the details and when I get to the big picture it will all make sense. I tend towards the former myself, I need to get my head around 'where is this going?' Or I'm likely to bail!
  17. Probably not on our system, but ours is purposely a low voltage system. Most solar packages are not like ours though! So you'd probably need a proper comparable-to-grid-power system, not a weird crunchy rural homeschoolers system! It's all to do with voltage and amps hours and I only have a passing understanding of all that 😄 I'll ask dh.
  18. Very happy with it but we do have a pretty crunchy lifestyle to match (wood stove, vermiculture septic etc) My husband put the whole thing together, our house is run on 3 different circuits each with their own panels and battery bank. It's a lower voltage than regular grid power. We do have to watch our usage and some things (like hairdryer) are just not doable. The batteries are expensive and you do need quality and to get them all at once. Pros - no electricity bills! Eta - we have heaps of birds around our property. The panels don't seem to have made any impact on them whatsoever. Maybe Aussie birds are more robust lol
  19. We are completely off grid, 100% solar.
  20. Hi macyelm, welcome to the boards! I'm in Vic and have an 8th grader. I think Stella is in NSW... hopefully she'll be along soon. 🙂 From my quick Google, the Stage Statements and Outcomes document and the Guidelines for Home schooling Registration document don't immediately make me think that classical education wouldn't fit. What are your worries more specifically? Maybe we can help?
  21. Heroic efforts Stella! Feminism has always been controversial. 😉 Also, I'm a conservative-leaning centre, pro-life feminist. My pro-life thoughts are not so much about criminalization nor withdrawing access, but more of a cultural philosophy about the (current lack of) value of human life, children, motherhood... It's pretty disheartening that we can't be nuanced in these discussions. Tribalism and identity politics have a lot to answer for.
  22. Hoo boy! I hope she has fun in her class! I wouldn't have described myself as a feminist (for the liberation of women from under patriarchy) for a long time. I do now. How old are her kids?
  23. My italics - I totally hear you. I know exactly what you mean. I often think that things could be very different now, if I'd have been able to handle things differently then. If I had been able to set boundaries and have difficult times over smaller issues, the boundaries would have already been in place and the bigger issues wouldn't have needed to come up. I wasn't able to be that person and I'm stuck with this mess now.
  24. I put a stack of appropriate books in their school box and they have an assigned reading time during the school day. Usually starting in 2nd/3rd ish depending on ability.
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