Offender rate correlates with sex not gender identity. Actually, transwomen have a worse rate than other males in some instances - but I don't think you want to go there...

Sure. Look at statistics. Provide sex segregated spaces where females are more vulnerable. At last some unwitting honesty, you don't prioritise risk. What do you prioritise, over putting women at physical risk?

Still you.

Great question, can risks be mitigated? Please do elaborate. What risks? How can we identify potential risks? What mitigation strategies?

The US doesn't have a long history of female subjugation?

Gaslighting. Do you understand that males make up 99+% of sexual offenders and 90+% of violent offenders? Why is the UN fighting for female only toilets in India? Why do you think we have single sex female only spaces at all? For funsies? Cos we hate men? I have 4 sons, you don't need to 'not all men' at me ffs.

It's not an assumption, it's a statistical reality.

You. Invited. Them. In. Also, your privilege here is quite stark. Most 'service workers' who do work on my home are probably better off than we are, or at least on par socio-economically 🤷‍♀️

Like I said, your disingenuousness is showing. Trying to put ridiculous words in my mouth is super helpful 👍

Everyone can see how disingenuous you are being sneezy.

Right, so is your door always unlocked and a public toilet sign on your front door? Live in hysterical fear? Nice bit of misogynist language there. Like I said, just be honest and say you don't believe that women have any legitimate reason for sex segregated spaces.

Trans guys can use the single stall unisex facilities. If you're asking which they should use when the options are only male/female, well, the principle is respect for boundaries. If they believe that their appearance will cause a boundary violation then surely they don't want to do that. I would think that having grown up as female they'd understand/respect that.

And do you allow any random 'all man' off the street to use your home unisex bathroom? Or is it generally just those you trust? Come on, this is an example of the gaslighting. Women's concerns around male sexual violence aren't a joke, your witty disregard doesn't change the material reality. Women will self exclude if female spaces become mixed sex. Just be honest and say you think that's a reasonable price.

We never relied on genital checks and it's really hyperbolic to go to that. Humans can tell someone's sex with remarkable accuracy, but I'm not getting into passing/not passing. This is about respect and consideration, not about how well someone stealths or how we police boundaries. Social boundaries are a useful layer of protection - not 100%, but useful. It is easy if people respect that women need single sex spaces. Have a womens, have a urinals, have a couple of single occupancy/unisex, have disabled. Really not hard to renovate. But yeah, if some males (not trans people necessarily) are intent on violating women's boundaries - and we know some are - then yes they tend to throw around absurdities like genital poilice to highlight how they believe they are entitled. My friend, the one physically assaulted by trans activists in March, worked at a local council and tried very hard to clarify the law to provide protection & bathroom provisions for both trans people and women in her area. Do you know what happened? No one would help her. No one would talk to her. The human rights commission said 'she would never get a meeting.' The attorney General has ignored her to this day. One side is not at all willing to be reasonable here.

And you know why this isn't happening? Because some trans activists (*not all trans people) don't want the compromise. More than a few prominent ones have crudely said they'll p*$$ on the floor rather than be 'othered' in a single stall alternative. Many say that the validation and 'experience' of the female space is the point. Toilets is relatively easy to solve if both sides are reasonable. The alternative is that women *will* self exclude if female only spaces become mixed sex, for many legitimate reasons. And if every female public bathroom is potentially mixed sex then those women are now excluded from participating in public life & we have the urinary leash again. Trans people deserve safe spaces, so do women. Self id sheds another layer of protection from *both* - as then any male, for any reason, can also self declare into female only spaces without raising effective concerns. This isn't hard, I know you all understand this. Which is where Melissa's honesty post comes in. Just be clear that you understand, but think those excluded women are - at best - less important.

Meh? Really? The problem is that predators don't wear name tags, and they exploit loopholes. Loopholes like, ya know, laws forcing naked women to accept naked men in their space. How can you tell the difference between a 'cis' man, a transwoman & a male nb in a naked spa? What material difference should reassure/override the women's 'gift of fear' response?

All good. Raising teens is freaking hard.

Just fyi - parents on both 'sides' have lost teens. That also happens when one side of a debate paints the other side as a genocidal enemy.

All media, the premier & opposition leader (now being sued & rightly so). My friend is about the most compassionate person you will ever meet, I could tell stories for weeks, but she is not to be trifled with and they vastly underestimated her. PP is a blunt instrument for sure, but she gets people talking, and she doesn't deserve the violence she's met with. But, like a previous poster said, we can debate and disagree but this issue is so polarised and so hyped up that any legitimate discussion = hate/genocide. It is so disheartening. And I'm sure someone will reply with how their whipped up panic is justified. I am not getting into it any more. You all can see for yourselves now... or not. *hugs* Melissa, I hope you know that I am rooting for all the best for you & yours!

Thanks. She is bloody angry and fierce. They have kicked a hornets nest.

Yep, my dearest friend of 20+ years was called a literal nazi/nazi adjacent. She was physically assaulted by a pro-trans protester that day. And slandered in the press that evening. The violent men on all sides made damn sure the women were silenced.

That sounds wise!

This 20 hours of working is temporary? I'd try to ride that out & think about changes again after decompressing! That is a lot!

I'm hearing you, non traditional dh hours is really hard! Maybe you could put some of the responsibilities for problem solving on your kids - you are willing to do x amount, if they want to do more they have to figure it out (ride with a friend, switch schedule etc) & I would add household stuff to this too. You need a,b,c done every day, either they help you or you'll need to do it during their extra curricular time & they miss out (or sort themselves out as above). Imo it's about respecting both your time and the family home. But yeah, it's all easier said than done, I get it!

I don't think your dd is going to fix this personality or dynamic that she's married into. I feel for her, as these issues often become very apparent after babies, when you're already dealing with a lot. I think she and dsil need to think about what they need, and be proactive about directing it. Don't let his mom just come and sit around all weekend. Give her clear, explicit information about how to help, preferably her son should be the one to explain and be around to 'enforce'. If she's a good'un she'll be thankful for a concrete way to help. If she's a drama queen, she'll probably flounce & sulk and then your dd & dsil get to have a quiet weekend (if dsil holds his nerve).