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LMD

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Everything posted by LMD

  1. We had the incel guy in Canada too. I agree that this misogyny is something to discuss. Do women and girls really have to be nice and not say No, on pain of death apparently?
  2. I just read about this too, and I agree with you. Wasn't surprised at all. How very very sad. "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them." Margaret Atwood.
  3. SquirrelyMama's DD, take it from someone who totally acted trashy (and then some) in high school... You are not trash, and anyone who dehumanises someone is not worth worrying about. You are allowed to have fun. Kissing and dancing with your boyfriend at 16 will not bring the apocalypse or determine your life. Your worth is intrinsic. Not one of us reaches perfection by works. I hope you had a ball, don't let this idiot ruin your memories!
  4. I often wonder what would have happened if a teacher, or my accountant father, had noticed my equally good maths scores and suggested a maths pathway rather than english/literature pathway. That path was well entrenched by years 11/12 - even though I could still beat the boys in maths, guess who got the specialised teaching and encouragement? I very nearly went back to do finance through a mentorship/degree at my old job. I didn't know enough to ask/push and then I had babies and homeschooled. The english/lit actually helps a fair bit with this path... when my youngest is 16 I'll be 45 and we'll see about a second career.
  5. Nope. And as I'm an ideological homeschooler I would oppose such a suggestion. Part of why I homeschool is because I believe that education can be found outside institutions. Another part is because I believe in parental rights to choose their children's education as per the UN UDHR article 26.3 which doesn't discriminate based on the parent's education.
  6. Thanks nixpix5 I figured it was along those lines, I just got myself confused because most of the cited experts from the documentary are of a similar academic background as far as I can tell. As an aside, I just realised that Cordelia Fine is giving a lecture in my city this week! *ponders schedule*
  7. Thanks for the link Bluegoat, I'll have a look, looks interesting. I do note that of the experts cited 4/6 are advocates of evolutionary psychology which is part of what Fine discusses. They are all psychologists as is Fine so I'm not sure what you mean by soft sciences - but maybe you meant the field in general rather than just the film. I will watch it with an open mind! Being more relational and less technical strikes me as something that could well be explained by social constructs. You might find this article interesting. http://theconversation.com/new-insights-into-gendered-brain-wiring-or-a-perfect-case-study-in-neurosexism-21083
  8. Who would you consider an authority in the field Bluegoat? Not snark, genuinely interested. I agree with your second paragraph. I just believe that the evidence is more in the direction of cultural socialisation.
  9. There has been a lot of academic work done on sex socialization, it begins at birth, is unconscious and ubiquitous. There is no evidence that girls' brains are just naturally less mathy. You can get Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine online as a free pdf. So these sort of affirmative action policies may help a little, they may harm a little ("you can be a girl and good at math" reinforces the cultural message that girls aren't supposed to be good at math, it's a surprise!), but look deeper at what the culture values - policies like this are at best a bandaid.
  10. Sounds about right. I'm sorry for your family's experience. I would do a lot to avoid rolling the family court dice. Also, leaving a dv situation is the most dangerous time for the woman. She's a victim who was unable to protect herself or her children. She doesn't get a pass but I don't think she deserves the blame for being trapped by a monster.
  11. It really isn't that far fetched unfortunately LucyStoner. Controlling abusers wouldn't let you go to the doctor alone and ask for a prescription, or the pharmacy! They would notice extra money coming out of accounts. More than that, they have put in the work to instill fear and self-policing in their victim. When this is your normal life you don't even have the capacity to think of solutions like that, all your energy is going to trauma - especially with kids - and avoiding the next explosion. This is living in a war zone.
  12. Yes. And controlling fertility is another tactic abusers use. Keeping her vulnerable and pregnant and dependent on him and providing more abusees could well be part of the violence dynamic. * I am in no way at all meaning to imply that large families are correlated with abuse. In fact, fertility control can work the other way too, with forced abortions or spousal violence towards the pregnant woman. I hope he rots in prison <--- that's the polite version.
  13. This matches my experience exactly. Most who don't register here have a personal conviction about it. The less rigourous educators I know are all registered, it's not difficult or, imo, an effective measure. We looked at the wording of the law very carefully before first registering, of course they changed the law afterwards. Sometimes I wish that we hadn't...
  14. ? thank you ! I am hoping that as I'm starting to look now, there will be lots of growth within the next 2-3 years.
  15. Yes to the discussion of autonomy. This is one of those things that I'm finding not so easy as a homeschool parent (kids are always with me) and rural (they can't really get anywhere without me) amongst other, family specific, reasons. I remember doing things like having to work out my own train/bus route to a job interview, missing my stop, finding my way walking fast through an unfamiliar suburb, turning up hot and frustrated but having to interview well etc. I grew up a lot that day - at age 15. I got the job, and had to catch 2 trains and walk to get there several times a week... My oldest turns 13 and wants to start spreading her wings soon and I'm looking for opportunities.
  16. Yes, I had this in mind when we made the decision to move rural. Now I'm having to be very deliberate about creating opportunities to take steps for independence. But some better infrastructure- especially reliable and regular buses would help a lot.
  17. Glad she won! Thank you for being a good friend.
  18. Do the curls lessen with longer, heavier hair? I think you might be looking for a unicorn if you are sick of curls, want less heaviness/hotness but also want it longish. I think a 'short curly layered bob' is super cute and would probably pass the husband test. You can still style an up do of sorts with pins. How do you feel about bangs?
  19. Last night I made a grain free tabbouleh which everyone loved. Tabbouleh was basically a heap of chopped parsley with finely diced tomatoes, cucumber, red onion, red capsicum, salt & pepper, olive oil, lemon juice. Then instead of the bulgur I just grated some cauliflower, fried it off quickly and tossed it through.
  20. Hahaha that's brilliant! He's learning a valuable lesson!
  21. Sometimes it's to shut off the option of wrong decision. Sometimes it's peace in the right decision. But I agree, there's rarely a writing on the wall type of signal, usually it's praying that the wisest decision will be blessed.
  22. I use eucalyptus or ti tree occasionally in household cleaning type things, sometimes in laundry. They smell nice sometimes. I absolutely do not buy into the current craze and though I love my friends I think they're barmy on this (and homeopathy).
  23. Firstly, I have them repeat the sentence back to me out loud before writing. If they get stuck, I ask them to read back what they've written out loud from the beginning, it usually triggers a reminder. If they ask for spelling help I'll encourage them to try but will just tell them rather than letting them get too derailed. It's not a spelling test, the point is to hold a phrase in their heads long enough to get it on paper. After they have finished writing, I will ask them to compare to the model and correct spelling if necessary. I remember in one of SWB's lectures she said that occasional slips (forgetting 'that') or synonyms aren't a huge deal, because again the point is to learn to hold a thought, put into a sentence, long enough to get it on paper. I make sure that the original, verbal, repeat back to me before writing was word-perfect correct, I correct the missed words afterwards but I don't make a big deal about it.
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