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LMD

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Everything posted by LMD

  1. I am so very sorry Spryte. Well done for believing and advocating for your mom! Prayers for your mom, for healing and peace.
  2. My 14 year old still needs to be prodded awake with a barge pole, from behind safety glass, at ridiculously-late-o'clock... I can't blame her, I'm a night owl and would muuuuuch rather still be asleep too! Sorry! #nothelpful
  3. I actually know a homeschooler who took up welding and now designs and makes historically accurate pieces for a local interactive museum... I have an 8th grader and know that the dragging feet/attitude is real... real annoying! I agree with the previous posters that using the at home time for following his interests is perfect. I would let him have a lot of say in that, probably come up with a weekly plan/goal setting list over the weekend together. I might also start assigning some inspiring biographies of people who had to work hard and diligently to achieve their passion 😉 If it helps, we ended up rejigging our homeschool to suit my eighth grader better, with the things she is passionate about as priorities (violin - focus on exams and teaching a beginner, baking - she's working through a French culinary institute course, neuroscience - started with some narrative books and moving through more clinical cases and anatomy, and maths - she still likes AOPS) and the less loved stuff in more palatable or 'just get it done' ways - history is just interest led reading and notebooking, literature and writing is through tutoring from a friend, languages is just in a holding pattern with duolingo. She's quite solid in grammar/vocab/spelling etc so I'm letting that take a back seat while we ride out this phase, she still joins us for dictation/poetry/Shakespeare in our family morning time. I'm more interested in her learning to manage her own time, have self discipline to finish something hard, manage her moods, while still keeping a spark of curiosity! It is hard, and I think that getting him to work diligently on stuff he hates during the day is realistically more of a longer term goal. Let him work with his hands, let him feel competent and successful, let him grow and calm a bit more. Let him spend time with his dad - that is such a gift! Yes, get dad to take him on as an 'apprentice' in projects!
  4. Right there with ya. I have a 14 and a 12 year old... Bedtime, well, I enforce a quiet house time. She is free to read/draw/whatever quietly in her own room. This may be different if we didn't have younger siblings in close quarters. Screen time, we are pretty strict. She doesn't have her own phone or anything. She uses a tablet/computer with permission. She chats to her friends using apps on my phone. We are on the more strict end of this spectrum and I'm happy with that. Eta - we are less strict with tv and movies etc but, with our family/home set up, this is usually more of a family together thing rather than an individual thing. Unless she wants to watch something that the littles can't and I'll facilitate that sometimes (for example, currently she watches a few episodes of Stranger Things on her own each week - dh and I vetted it first - but 3hrs a week doesn't overtake the other 7hrs with family, if that makes sense) Spending time with family is something we prioritize. Also downtime. Homeschool means this is much easier to balance for us. Class choices, again, homeschooling, but I'm pretty open to letting her choose with the caveat that she actually puts in the work. If she doesn't put in the effort of owning and being responsible for her education beyond just picking what looks fun, then it shows she's not actually at that level of responsibility yet and I'll step back in and make certain choices for her. This is something that's taken a bit of back and forthing over the past year. We talk a lot about where she wants to head and what choices to make now wrt that. But at only 14 I feel like she still has time. My 12 year old is still not independent with school choices yet, but we'll move more in that direction over the next year.
  5. Since you used he in your post, I'm going to assume he identified as a gender non conforming guy, which I think is great! I also think it's good that his workplace is supporting that. I assume they also work to foster a welcoming environment for all their employees, including the female ones. I've seen Mx (pronounced like mix) as a gender neutral title. I think bathroom debates get really... tribal, and so I'm not getting into it.
  6. Loving this thread! I just wanted to add that Miquon addresses this really well. They very often mix up the order (so just as many 5=2+3 as 3+2=5) and they have whole pages called 'other names for x' where x is a number, so x might be 10 and the student is encouraged to find answers like 5+5, 5×2, 2+2+2+2+2, 11-1, 100÷10, 1+9. I use that language a bit when talking about sides of the equals sign. Another way I like to explain is with a scale, each side must balance. I actually have one of these https://www.amazon.com/Educational-Insights-1070-Number-Balance/dp/B000QDZYCK And always cuisenaire rods are great for this, to show how the lengths are equal. We spend a lot of time in early elementary making equal trains lol, finding all the different combinations to make 10 etc. The elementary beast academy books are quite good on this too.
  7. Well I thought she meant 1 favourite thing, not all the favourites like you posters who cheat and give more than one answer! 😉😄 Science would be #2. I run a science coop and we have a ball! Never ever would my school teachers have thought I'd love teaching maths or science, I was very much a typical humanities girl. Probably most of elementary education would be my 3rd favourite. 5-12 year olds are wonderful to work with.
  8. I have 3 sons too so get off your high horse. The default assumption is that teen boys are into teen boy stuff and don't have the wisdom or experience to parse out age appropriate for little kids nor the impulse control to refrain in their presence. And yeah, some teen boys are sexual predators (of little girls and little boys) and they don't wear labels to that effect. That doesn't mean treating teen boys like lepers, it does mean I'll set the boundaries that I'm comfortable with for my own children - unapologetically. I also won't judge you for where you set yours.
  9. That's not exactly what was said. No one said they can't interact, that's a very not-kind interpretation. No, I wouldn't be comfortable with my 7 year old daughter playing with teen boys unsupervised in another house. Not because I think boys turn into monsters at 13 (I would hope not, I have 3 boys myself) but because 13 year olds are in a very different stage of development and what is appropriate for them (or even inappropriate but accessible and tempting) is not necessarily appropriate for a 7 year old - especially a little girl. I also wanted to touch on the 'they'll be ostracized if they don't play games/watch tv' thing - I disagree. We do have tv/games here, but some of my kids' closest friends don't. Those kids are wonderful, a lot of fun and very popular - and I don't blink at their teen sons playing with my 6 year old. It can be done well, we all learned each other's boundaries - they don't lecture my kids on their clothes (my teen dd can be... rebellious with her clothes choices!) or viewing habits and we don't expect them to violate their conscience and play something my kids like. We all give each other grace and end up having a great time.
  10. Welcome MegaSwan! So, I think that your predicament isn't unusual but yes, it sounds awkward. Firstly, you and your husband obviously have strong convictions about your family culture, and I think that is wonderful and something to stand firm in. It does sound like your expectations might be unusually high, for things like manners, no tv etc, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. These differences in family culture seem so enormous when kids are that little, but they sort of just become less of a big deal as they get bigger and everyone learns everyone else's boundaries. Yes, you can have loving boundaries with these boys in your home, you can kindly spell out the rules, definitely model the sort of manners you expect by continuing to hold your own son to the standard he knows you expect. I would not step over the line by actively parenting them, so "sorry B, but we don't speak like that in our home, please don't do it here again. [Big smile]" <--- fine. Whereas "B, you shouldn't ever speak like that, it is rude and your parents should have taught you better" <--- way over the line, this is judgy and inhospitable. Secondly, I would not be comfortable with my 7 year old playing effectively unsupervised in another house, doubly so with an older/wordlier playmate, x100 for unsupervised internet access. I would unapologetically hold that line. But yes, I could credibly be accused of being overprotective. I would also think about setting precedents, with a younger daughter. In 3 years she'll be 7, her brother will be 10 and these neighbor boys will be 13. No way on earth would I be happy with my 7 year old daughter playing in houses with teen boys, but it will be more difficult to enforce if the boys have had 3 years of it being their normal. With kindness, this awkwardness can be dealt with. Welcome to the next stage of parenting 😄. You can do it!
  11. This just came up in my email, win a signed copy of Station Eleven! https://www.readitforward.com/giveaways/enter-to-win-a-signed-copy-of-station-eleven-by-emily-mandel/?ref=PRHEC4E2A63934E&linkid=PRHEC4E2A63934E&cdi=23CF0F996D882BF3E0534FD66B0A902E&template_id=14183&aid=randohouseinc34336-20
  12. Well, I'm about 6 chapters in on audible and enjoying it a lot. I also ordered unusual chickens, I suspect my boys will love it. You guys are dangerous, keep 'em coming!
  13. I would just drop the social studies completely... what else does it even cover? Okay just looked at the scope and sequences and see that the cle is like geography. If I wanted to keep using both but just wanted to avoid doubling up, I would probably just skip the weather unit in r&s science. Or, you could alternate days, you don't have to do everything every day especially if your child is accelerated.
  14. Maths. I always liked maths in school but was never encouraged that way. Teaching it conceptually is so much fun and so clear.
  15. Grown ass men don't want their mommy to clean up after them. Lecture over. And it's variants, Grown ass men don't need their mommy to nag them to do the right thing, Grown ass men can feed themselves healthy food without mommy's help etc.
  16. LMD

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    Ah, see his faith in 'the good people who are wise and always will be' has been shaken, which has a knock on effect, because maybe he can't put his faith in you/dad/stepdad/church people etc. Next, he'll have to reckon with himself, that if these godly and wise people can stuff up, he better be careful, pride goeth before the fall. This is hard but necessary, there is only one Jesus.
  17. I was 2! Great film, we also have it on DVD. My kids think it's weird, they're obviously the weirdos.
  18. LMD

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    My bold, they would also get a comment along the lines of "your behaviour suggests you might be more interested in watching shows from the toddler section"
  19. LMD

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    THIS! If he wants to be so grown up that he knows best how this complicated situation should go, then he can also be grown up enough to control his anger and arrogance and realise that mom isn't his emotional punching bag. I'm sorry Scarlett. I'm so glad to hear that your husband and exh are sticking up for you. You can't fix the world for him. My daughter was angry at me because she is imperfect and I couldn't give her any easy fixes. I'm like, dear daughter, if I had that magic wand, don't you think I would've used it on myself a long time ago?! She's angry with me but she's really scared at herself/the world - and me because I can't fix it, like I could fix dinner or broken toys...
  20. LMD

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    You know that deep down he knows you. He knows he can trust you to be who you've always been (ie, the person who loves him more than life and has strong convictions). It's okay to vehemently disagree and be hurt and upset - we're human and relationships are messy - but don't let that speak a lie to the foundation, history and truth of who you are to each other. Trust in that foundation, trust in God's plan for both of you.
  21. LMD

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    I can absolutely imagine a scenario where my need to be able to speak/live what I genuinely believe to be true is more important than capitulating because my relationship with someone, even my child, might be affected. That would feel like an inauthentic relationship to me. Lovingly holding my boundaries does not have to be a bad, relationship ending thing.
  22. LMD

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    It's just accepting what you do have control over and what you don't. I wouldn't exactly say stewing in their juices, I don't want them to suffer and letting it just be isn't a punishment or manipulation. You say, "I know x decision upsets you and I am very sorry to have hurt you. I hope you know that I don't make this decision lightly or maliciously, but because I have to do what I believe is right." I wouldn't engage after that. Even if they continue to vent, just let them get those clouds moving. You've said your piece, your clouds are clear. Just wait for the blue sky.
  23. LMD

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    You just have to give it time. That's all you can do. You can't fix it, you just have to let the storm clouds of feelings run their course and dissipate, making way for the foundational love to shine through again. I'm sorry, it's hard. Also, if it's a younger person, hopefully they'll grow up a bit and one day see your point of view a little clearer?
  24. Sounds great Kareni, I just looked it up! Mine is Deathless by Valente. Love that book, beautiful and brutal.
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