Facts? Uncomfortable? So, you'll tell them that 50% of rape victims were raped by their intimate partner? That statistically they'll be most at risk at age 14? I absolutely agree with telling kids about the dangers of being inebriated. I said that. But sexual assault is a much wider problem for all women than just those silly girls engaging in risky behavior. I know it's more comfortable to think that way. That can be done without implying that victims can control or prevent their attacker!

But you don't know the details and can't simply say that the rape could have been prevented by her behavior x... surely? Do you cite the actual statistical risks or do you only cite examples like this that confirm the biases? Do you warn them that likely a quarter of their peers will be victims, not just that one stereotypical girl with the short skirt? Our language around this matters.

But what do you warn them? Don't be friendly? Don't have a drink in your own home and get into your own bed? The statistics show that most sexual assaults occur by a person known to the victim, and that victims are mostly wearing jeans. Warning about drinking too much because it hampers your ability to make decisions and leaves you more vulnerable is fine, I do that. Warning about drinking too much because look at that girl who got raped turns her real horror into our object lesson.

1. I'm so sorry for your experience. That is awful. 2. It happens directly to rape victims all.the.time. By people who I am sure are not intending to revictimise anyone - it is so ingrained. I'm not accusing you, just letting you know that it definitely happens. 3. You don't know who is listening now. You can't know that someone reading this may have been raped last night/week/year. It is very othering language and isolating. Rape or sexual assault doesn't happen to 'those' people, it happens to 1 in 4 of us women. 4. Conflating personal safety and responsibilities with 'that' girl who got raped when she did x,y,z is damaging, incorrect, perpetuating the stereotypes of victims and giving a false sense of security to girls. 5. Many victims feel enough shame and self blame to replace all the commentators. They don't need that sort of help. 6. Talking like this, focusing on the victim's mistakes, allows the criminals to minimize the behavior in their own minds, believe that other people think the behavior is not so bad. People say 'of course the rapist is the bad guy', but the bad guy gears 'everyone does/thinks this way, I'm not so bad'. It reinforces their sense of entitlement. 7. I will not teach my daughter to live in fear. I will teach her to behave with self respect for its own sake - not by threats to her safety. I will also teach her, in different conversations, that some people commit evil and that I will always support her. My boys get the same lessons. Sorry, not all of that was directed at you Scarlett, I got a bit soap boxy there!

We said that we wanted minimum 4, possibly up to 6, when we got married, young and idealistic! Our first 3 were more difficult to get than we anticipated, and there were two losses in there. Huge surprise, as I was only in my early twenties! #3 wasn't/isn't an easy child and we had life stuff going on, so we just left it, happy for a surprise but no more trying. Our 4th, a natural surprise - the only unmedicated surprise that I have carried to term - arrived when I was 29. I had originally wanted to be done by 30. I don't have baby fever anymore. Dh does! For him it's less about wanting a baby than the vision for his family, and the idea that this phase of life is finite. For me, it's less that I don't want a baby, I deeply agree with the vision, I'm just tired and stressed! I can get my head around one more... So, we're back to not trying and we will see what happens I suppose. I'm only 32 so in theory we have time, though neither of us are comfortable with the risks of trying after 35ish.

What is your passion for? I started learning piano in my 20s with 2 small kids (& one on the way!). And just start reading the classics - the well educated mind is great, it has lists. You'll find that many classics have earned the name for good reason! I read many via audiobook while cleaning up in the evening! And don't minimize what you will learn alongside your children! My nearly 11 year old has more education (homeschooled) now than I ever had, we learn a lot together! It's never too late and it is so interesting! Good for you!

I thought long and hard about what was important to us at the moment and I made some tough choices. We do 3 longer days 9-3ish), one midweek short day (2hrs max) and one 'music lessons and poetry/art with friends' day. And my house is a bomb, kids help with chores (mobilise my resources as my MIL would say lol) and I cook as minimal as I can. I used to love cooking lavish meals but no more. I don't do it all, not even close. I do do enough of the important things, most of the time, sometimes...

I would give the 4th grader a checklist of stuff that he can do independently. Things like copy work or assigned reading. I would go through the list with them first and explain the expectations. I would probably have a reward in place for completing correctly without interrupting you. Watch his concentration soar lol. Then I would send him to do his list at one side of the table, while you work with the younger two and I would combine them as much as possible. Even if they both are doing the same subject at their own level, you can be in math mode and get the 2nd grader to do some math facts review while teaching the 1st grader, then switch. Let the first grader play with c-rods while you work with the 2nd grader. I would spend about half an hour or so on this then let the younger two do an activity (that has a natural end! Like, read a picture book and draw me your favorite part), I would then work with the older one on the same topic - so math. That's about an hour all up, then I'd repeat the pattern with the next subject. This is generally how I manage my days with a 6th, 3rd, k and toddler. And it's crazy lol! Good luck!

I insist on music as important as any school subject. I value downtime and peaceful, calm family time. I will not sign up for something that requires multiple lessons/practice times a week (btdt). I haven't found a sport yet that fits our values or schedule so we do incidental, family based activity. Pool, tennis, bike riding, walks etc. I would possibly like to get the kids into either swimming or martial arts in the next couple of years, but it's not a high priority.

Oh goodness! Prayers for you guys. And yes, we're in a situation like that (not health related) right now and it is affecting me. I woke up this morning with a half composed letter in my mind...

Yes, I was thinking that writing does it for me too. I tend to love a particular author's writing. I think it does for dh too - we both sighed over Lovecraft's writing (I know - weird). Scripture definitely - I strongly prefer certain translations. And Chopin. And frequently the night sky. And some art but generally only in a gallery... I also think that it can be dulled after overexposure, learning to play Chopin's raindrop makes it happen less - like all the mystery is lost in over analysis.

It's twin may be visiting Melbourne soon...

My friend bought the poetry book - not realising that it went with a level, she thought it was for highschool/adults and worked through it herself! She found it excellent, though I'm not sure of details. She was shocked when I told her that it was for middle school ish - she's a highschool English teacher by trade lol! As a result she is determined to use the MCT books, starting island straight away with her 3rd grader. If you have a specific question I can ask.

Congratulations!!! That's fantastic work! I'm about 24lbs down so far too.

We all bring our baggage. I watched my mother crash and burn 3 out of 4 marriages (the first ended before I came along) because she just could not yield on anything. I won't have that marriage, and the guy I picked wouldn't have it either. That comes with its own issues, but we are still very happy 13 years later - longer than any relationship I saw growing up. That said, I do not give marriage advice or expect others to have marriages like mine. Dh and I are unique people who have our own groove. Ftr- he would pick the tree/paint because I don't care at all. I would pick the bedspread and he mostly wouldn't care. We have each picked mattresses - mostly based on price!

Sigh, love that book! We did it for our first homeschool book club and it was a huge hit!

Similar here, except I do the budget and he does the shopping! He's a dominant personality (although quiet and reserved and respectful), he's a very deep and detailed thinker - he's got plans a-z organised before I've had my coffee. He also loves us deeply and has strong ethical convictions so 99% of the time I trust his judgement (or, I try to ;) ) I am much more naturally a follower who wings most of what I do - I provide the flexibility! We also spur each other on and encourage each other. No one makes me a better person like he does, and vice versa. We are both very stubborn and have had some memorable 'heated discussions'. Overall, we're a good team and work well together- better each year - but he's definitely the boss/driver. Even Homeschooling was his idea first ;)

We put them to music - usually their violin pieces. Go tell aunt rhody is the 6x lol. After a while I do drill and coach them to trust their memory so they can use the individual facts rather than sing through the whole song.

We have the same issue with read alouds and picture books. Thanks for your reply, I'm thinking about yours and sahamamama's ideas, filing them in case I need to tweak things. Thank you!

Lol! It makes my girl feel very grown up and gives her some feeling of control I think. Awww, thank you. The subject blocking is easier for my brain, I can do math mode etc better than scattered, I'm a bit of a scatterbrain naturally so big, clearly defined blocks is helpful!

I could cry at this reply, thank you! Sounds great, thanks for your reply!

Haha, yes. You have no idea how vindicated I feel that other people recognise this! Somehow I keep thinking that it should be easier... Lots to think about here, thanks! Million dollar question! Scheduling too much and too complicated, my brain cannot focus on all the detailed schedule stuff (like in MOTH) and still run lessons. So then I swing too far in the other direction and we just randomly do what we can as we can, which means that it's chaos, little kids miss out and older ones push boundaries. The actual work we were doing was good, it's simply the time management issues, and I don't want to be pushing to finish at 4pm or later... Yes! Sounds familiar! I'm quite happy with their ability to work independently, though they can be distracted - so can I! Thank you for your post, I appreciate it!

Yes, that's a good way to see it, thanks! I've tried to put the family and important subjects first, so that the younger ones can disappear and play after LA if they are just done.

Thank you! That is encouraging. Do you loop everything? How far ahead do you plan, or is it mostly just do the next thing?

Thank you! I'm trying to recapture some joy and free time for my younger two, they've unfortunately had the short straw in terms of quality time.