Yes, that makes sense to me. I would expect a grateful young adult to try and be very helpful. Not perfect, but actively trying to be considerate - especially towards you. I'm sorry you're in this position and finding it difficult. I would too.

You are one of the farthest from nasty people I have ever met Melissa. No, it's not fair that you have had the incredibly taxing task, of parenting someone else's struggling young adult/teen, dumped in your lap! I obviously have no idea of the back story but I wonder what the situation is from the parents' perspective.

As I understand it, Based comes from the idea of being 'grounded', feet solidly on the ground etc. So, we might say down to earth or something like that. It's not exactly cool, it's more like cool+honest. One I hate is 'choiceful'. No.

Keep it forever. It's expensive to rebuy everything for a surprise, later in life baby (ask me how I know!) 😆😆😆

You could also reframe their stories, "wow colleague, your weekend sounds amazing, I'm exhausted just hearing about it! 😄" or "I'm glad you enjoyed all that, I'd need to have Monday off to recover!" All said light-heartedly, good natured. There's nothing wrong with either of your weekends or personalities, you don't need to feel like you have to apologise for enjoying your own time the way you want!

Anything that heats up is a big power draw - irons, hair dryers, kitchen appliances like toasters or sandwich presses, dishwashers/washing machines that use very hot water etc. light bulbs low power LED. Turn down the fridge/freezer a little bit. I'm sorry, a lot of people are going to really hurt with a doubled electricity bill 😔

You say you are very empathic, but you really seem to be mostly only empathic towards those with the biggest feelings, your empathy is drawn to the largest gravitational force. I get that, I really do, I'm not trying to be mean, it's a hard place to be I know well, and it caused a lot of issues early in my marriage between my 'feelings are reality' mother and my 'impenetrable boundaries' new husband. It's okay to have emotional boundaries, not just physical or behavioural. It's okay to just not be drawn in. She is an adult, she is capable, she has other support and knows how to access other options. She really doesn't need you to tear yourself to emotional pieces for her. Those smaller, less dramatic feelings - accompanied by appropriate behaviour - in your ds and dh are where your empathy is safe, needed and deserved. You can't fix this, you can't fix her, you don't have the magic words to bring peace to the family (they don't exist). *hugs* I'm really sorry, this is a very difficult place to be.

Dh is the default driver. I've never considered driving a love/hate activity, just a life skill one. So, I don't love or hate driving, it's just a thing that has to be done. I happily drive if he's had a drink. I'm not sure why we have this dynamic, there may be a chivalrous/sexist aspect 🤷🏻‍♀️. He had his licence and a car before me, and he's a bit of an annoying back-seat driver. But I've done plenty of designated driving, especially over the many pregnancy/breastfeeding years (and we're there again now!) Objectively, he's probably a better driver overall.

I think it's wise to be very very careful about assigning single causes (mom's anxiety) to other people's parenting decisions (what food was available) decades past, especially when mostly relayed through the lens of a struggling adult. I'm not saying there isn't truth in the memories or work needing to be done on real pain that was caused. But, I don't know that I'd blame mom's alleged 'obsessive' (in who's eyes? Who used that term?) focus on nutrition for allegedly almost starving/stunting her child & causing lasting psychological issues (that is the message I feel is being conveyed through the framing here) whilst simultaneously reporting daily cereal and white bread sandwiches. I would assume that, like most people, mom was working from and with complex factors - both internal and external - certainly made mistakes that probably did cause some real, maybe lasting, harm, but that it is impossible to get a complete picture. Even if mom was/is self aware about all of it. It's up to the adult to deal with their own issues now. Parenting is humbling, I blame my parents less and less each year my kids get older. Life's hard enough, I'll forgive a lot of non-malicious mistakes.

I would love this! My mother in law still teaches me things like that, usually 'in the moment,' offers to do the dishes and explains something as she goes etc. And yes she surprise buys me supplies sometimes. She is a blunt and generous person and I happily go with it lol. I assume that, 3 kids in, by now your dil knows you aren’t trying to upset her or interfere.

Apparently they are adding blackout warnings for VIC, SA & TAS for tonight/tomorrow. So thankful to be completely off grid! Hope you all avoid too much trouble. 💜

Is it baton twirling? 😁 Here, if we parents have decided an activity is important, we treat it as a school subject and require reasonable practice with scaffolding. Those activities are very very carefully chosen. You are allowed to say no more! For example, my kids do violin and I require practice. Most of my kids haven't been motivated to practice on their own until teens. Even then, reminders in the form of school schedules. They LOVE having this skill, my olders now have a ball playing in orchestra and I do not remind them anything about that - completely up to them. But, they still need to be reminded fairly regularly to practice the 'boring' skill parts from regular lessons. I am far from a tiger mother, and my kids aren't naturally intrinsically motivated about stuff that is difficult, even if they love the end result. It is what it is, they don't have the maturity so I will help them. But I make sure that it's actually a priority that I believe in. For a 7/8 year old, I would keep practices short and light, 10mins max. Maybe 1 new skill, 1 old skill, 1 fun pick, done. I would sit with her the whole time.

I voted yes but the top I'm thinking of has a roomier, almost boatneck style, so the buttons don't need to be done/undone to slip it on or off. Those patterns are very cute!

Great, now I want a brownie sundae, even though I didn't know it was a thing until this second. Pregnancy brains are highly suggestible wrt desserts 😄 It is so disappointing, I hate when I ruin something nice like that! 💜

Oh he is darling, congratulations!

Congratulations to your DS! Well done to both of you! That's a great pic!

I think all of those observations are fair, Melissa and Rosie. I'm not a country girl by birth, and I admit I do get a bit sneery about central planning city folk (both parties!) who evidently have never done a days work, been outside, or deign to talk to people who have. Real country people probably sneer at me 😄😄 Sorry if I offended you with my too broad brush there Melissa. But I have always been a lower class westie, and the class stuff (again, both parties!) bothers me a lot, we probably have a lot of common ground here. The safe seats where the usual votes are assumed - sometimes coerced through unions - and no one bothers to actually fix anything or even campaign. We had lab /lib /uap/on/libdem/independent (with a weird platform!) /federation party people on our green ballot.

I'm in for the latte sipping & poetry, and I'll bring my quibbling over the semantics of the word 'free' 🤣🤣🤣 Love right back atcha 💜

Eta - this is a reply to Murphy. Probably the Liberal Democrats would fit there-ish, though they have some very libertarian ideas which would fit more in the green section (decriminalisation of drugs for example.) I'd also personally put the Greens higher into the red 🤐

Thanks CeilingFan! I suspect we all kind of 'know' and base level respect each other as people regardless of where we diverge politically. I deeply respect Melissa and assume that her political leanings/solutions are well meaning and thought through, even if I disagree with some of them. Disagreement isn't hate. Remembering that is the important part.

I'm hoping to get to SA next year too, my dad is near the barossa. 💜 Otherwise, Melbourne meet 👐

Yeah honestly the libs here in Victoria are a mess and they have been gunning for Bernie for a loooooong time. His views aren't a surprise to any of his constituents (he spoke out fiercely back in '08) but he still kept getting elected and the factional crap is just... ugh. Don't be mistaken, this is a political/factional power play and it's been a long time coming. Nobody in the know was surprised today. With the vic Labor resignations this year & following ibac they're much the same - factional crap wise. (I'm not a liberal party supporter but a friend is and gives me too much info haha)

I might also add some pretty new notebooks or pencils. Some recycled artisan paper is really lovely. I also love the idea, and would totally try to get on board!

It's not necessarily a deal breaker and that link was quite fair/positive I thought. But yeah, at present, any machinery with moving parts uses lubricating oil and risks leaking. Which is also a concern for ocean based turbines.

You voted with your heart, mind and conscience. That's all we can do. I'm sure there'll be a mix of good and bad, and us regular plebs will power on like we always do. 😄