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TechWife

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Everything posted by TechWife

  1. Praying for your health, your husband's safety and peace of mind for your kids.
  2. I'll also add in here that i know two families who are in these programs. Both families have delayed or declined care because of the out of pocket expense. Even though these programs tout the fact that you can "choose your own providers" - if you can't pay the providers, you can't access health care.
  3. Add pap smear, mammogram and colonoscopy.
  4. Try your county health department the next time they need immunizations.
  5. By programs the hospital offered, do you mean charity funds? Those programs are available for everyone who meets the need criteria, whether or not they have insurance, are in a cost share or cash pay. Insurance companies get lower negotiated rates than individuals do. Far lower (yes, we have experience, both professional and, more recently, personal). I'm glad this is working well for your sister's family at this point in time, but it's not for everyone.
  6. As someone said above, this is not insurance. It is a betting pool. You're paying an entry fee in the hopes that you can get reimbursed for expenses you've already incurred, but they aren't under any obligation to do so. Because they are not regulated, they can change their fee structure and their "eligible" bills at any time. I could go on about what they say is ineligible right, but instead of doing that I'll summarize it to say that if you or someone in your family has any pre-exisiting conditions, they won't be covered. Mental health care is rarely covered. You have to pay for care up front or make payment arrangements. Providers are under no obligation to give you discounts or to agree to delayed payment or a payment plan. I've heard several stories from plans like this where they have gotten discounts from providers. I'll be honest with you - when you're in the ED with chest pain or another emergent situation, you are not in a position to negotiate anything. Getting a discount for an annual physical, or an office visit for an established patient is nothing in comparison to the hospital contracted prices we've had these past fifteen months. I would be shocked if an individual could negotiate charges down as low as our insurance company does, even for routine office visits. We pay a lot for insurance through my husband's employers. However, I can tell you that in the past 15 months we have gotten our money's worth as a result of contracted arrangements. We can go to any physician we want to. Three major medical centers take the insurance. We've not had any problems getting the prescriptions we need. A few of these plans have gone bankrupt in the past 5-7 years, so be very wary.
  7. Logic is best taught in context, IMO. All subject matter requires engaging logic in one form or another. Writing papers is a fantastic way to hone logic skills. Solving complex problems of various types is another way. Understanding civics is another way, as is art, history, music, phys ed, and so on. Synthesizing information into a cohesive story, argument, lab report, math problems all requires logic - it can’t be “taught” in a vacuum, it has to be imparted experientially, IMO. Using these posts as a jumping off point, I think one of the issues we are getting into is the fact that newer teachers today were taught using poor methodologies. Similar to how teachers today are having to learn phonics to teach reading as phonics is slowly returning to reading instruction, math teachers may be facing the same. I’m not sure the teachers themselves are able to wrestle with complex problems to the extent that they can teach someone else that thinking/problem solving process. In elementary and middle schools, most teachers are not subject matter experts. In high school, many of them are, but don’t regularly have opportunities to continue to learn more and discuss mathematics with peers. And again, we’re getting into the problem that the teachers aren’t necessarily equipped to have those discussions. I’m not against raising standards, but you have to have qualified experts available to do the instruction. Math teachers are hard to come by - well, the whole profession is having retention problems. The path to allow someone who has real world experience in a field to teach upon retirement from private industry is cumbersome. It’s as if their own education and job experience is considered nearly useless in the classroom. I know people with phenomenal experience, including masters degrees, teaching high level internal courses, writing numerous journal articles and even co-authoring textbooks in the field. The state I’m in says they aren’t qualified to teach because they haven’t studied “education.” Sadly, it isn’t available everywhere. Here there is a magnet school that has this format, but students apply for the lottery. There aren’t nearly enough seats to accommodate everyone who wants to do this here.
  8. Or maybe people will realize it's none of their business and the royal family has always been gossiped about. He will continue to be physically protected and that's all he really needs to be concerned about. Overall, I do wish the US papers would dial it down with speculating about everything - and I mean everything. No one needs to spend that much thought on what might happen if ABC or DEF happens to Jane or John. So much time wasted (says the one who is on here wasting time).
  9. Monk is good - even if you've seen it before it would be a fun one to revisit. I'm not sure it's streaming anywhere right now, though.
  10. The goal of DFS is safety and family reunification. They will try to get her to a place where she is "fit." Since DFS "placed" them with him, it brings up the question of whether or not he has custody or the state has custody. I expect you probably know the answer to that & you don't have to say, but if the state has custody then questions about where they live are moot - he doesn't decide. ETA: If he ends up with custody post divorce, and DFS has determined they can't live with her, that doesn't mean the judge will let them leave the country. She may one day become a fit parent and file to have the custody arrangement change - - allow different visitation, shared custody, whatever. She would be able to do that as long as her parental rights aren't terminated. I think a judge would be reluctant to close that door by allowing the kids to move out of the country. Unsaid in all of this is whether or not he is actually working or has a dependable source of income. The judge takes that into custody as well.
  11. Frankly, if he is from a patriarchal society, I would take everything he says with a grain of salt. That includes the mother not being "not fit" and "having some issues." A court will not just allow him to move the kids to another country because he wants to, even if he has full custody and they have dual citizenship. They have a mother who has a right to have input on that decision and there are the best interests of the children to consider, which includes consideration of the culture in which they would live were they to go overseas. Him having custody and the mother giving up her parental rights are two different things entirely. The court will not allow either to happen lightly. There is also a difference between "getting a divorce" and actually being divorced. Even if he has full custody, that doesn't mean she won't have a right to visit with her children and to be part of their lives. It sounds like he needs a family lawyer versed in international custody issues. If you're out of your depth with this, I think you need to tell him that. I hope she has a good lawyer. ETA: If you have never left the US with children, you might not be aware of the seriousness with which border patrol takes that process. My teen son was quizzed on the information on his passport, the names of his parents, he was asked to visually identify us as his parents, border patrol made sure the addresses on all three passports match and made sure we had return flights booked. Then, when they returned passports, it they made sure they gave his passport directly to him. Admittedly, they gave everyone's passport back to them, no matter who turned them over, but the agent looked pointedly at my husband when he did it, so he seemed to be sending a message, IMO. FWIW, all three of us are caucasian and there is a family resemblance.
  12. I have an EV that gets OTA updates occasionally. They’re no big deal and happen overnight.
  13. TechWife

    Socks?

    I like these Coolmax socks from New Balance.
  14. I’ll throw Henoch Scholein Purpura (HSP) into the mix. It’s common in younger children but my son had it in his early 20’s. The rash and joint pain are primary symptoms. FWIW, my son’s “rash” never really looked like the pictures we saw. It was close but there were differences. https://www.pennmedicine.org/for-patients-and-visitors/patient-information/conditions-treated-a-to-z/henoch-schonlein-purpura https://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Henoch_Schonlein_Purpura_HSP/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3125277/
  15. Dishes & pottery are so lovely! I'm determined not to get more stuff than I'm willing to dust/wash at this point, though. Your china cabinet is lovely!
  16. Ha Ha. No! Mine. Mine. Mine. 🤣 🤣 🤣
  17. Dawn - you have good taste. I’m the third generation in our family to have this China cabinet.
  18. That and “Do you know about Temple Grandin?” are irritants to me!
  19. We have an old China cabinet from ??? when they were still hand carving feet. Early 1900’s maybe? Anyway, it has glass top to bottom with a curved door. We keep our formal China and crystal in there.
  20. It’s not that we’re in some sort of denial, though. It’s that the older we are, the more likely we are to have seen our own parents and/or other relatives age well beyond what we used to think of as “old.” Once you see what 80 looks like, 70 is no longer a big deal and so 70 doesn’t seem like “old age” relative to 80 and we no longer think of it as “old,” or at least not old and addled/decrepid/infirm, etc..
  21. This. Preserving the dignity of others is important. Sometimes I think we (general "we") have a hard time doing this at all ages from a cultural perspective.
  22. I look like my mom. Not a little, but I look like her. Pictures of us taken around the age can get mixed up at first glance (the first tell is usually the clothes, then we pick up on other small differences). For me, it's the wrinkles around my mouth and chin. I never expected that we would actually wrinkle the same way. It makes sense, but it was still unexpected. When I'm washing my face & brushing my teeth sometimes it's just so very odd to me.
  23. I think we've also been misled into thinking there is a "right" way to grieve, when there really isn't. The stages of grief we are so familiar with weren't written to address the grief we experience at loss, but to address the process of confronting a person's own mortality, as in the case of a terminal illness. Personally, I think they have been a helpful frame for me to put words to the emotions that I have felt at the loss of different loved ones, but grieving my brother and dh's siblings was very different than grieving the death of my parents. Even grieving the death of my mom was different than grieving the death of my father, who died only seven weeks apart. I think you're spot on about the contained space/time - I also think that's helpful with all emotions when we are feeling them in the extreme sense.
  24. No. These medical conditions occur with people of all ages, TBH. My husband a I both have siblings that didn’t make it past sixty. Your mom is working, driving, cooking. When you know what 80 looks like, you realize how young 70 is. When you know what 85 looks like, you realize how young 80 is, and so on. Just like when children rapidly develop in their younger years, decline accelerates in the later years. 71 is young. You just don’t realize it because you haven’t known enough people in their 80’s and older.
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