Ours is Dirty Harry

Some nice wool socks would be helpful. Brands Darn Tough and Smartwool are good. Wool socks are good in all seasons and help with comfort and avoiding blisters.

Get an old-style clanging wind-up alarm clock. Set it for five minutes, hide it in the room, and leave. Or, let natural consequences happen. Missed appointments. Don't rely on this person for rides.

Done

I just made it up. I've seen it done for many occasions where people are trying to make the most of a difficult situation while not engaging the rude people. When people say rude things to you, you smile and know that you've just won a candy!

Here's your bingo card. Make sure you report back to us. You get a candy of your choice for each box marked, a dessert for each bingo, and a full on date night if you fill out the whole card.

Just pick a catch phrase to repeat until they stop complaining/controlling: "Oh, this is just our little family tradition. You don't need to try it if you don't want to." "Thanks so much for your input, but these dishes are so special for my family! Please feel free to enjoy them with us, but no pressure!" "I love the diversity of options we have here! The more the merrier! What did you bring? How lovely!" "We're so thankful to be back here! We brought some of our family favorites to share with you all! Somehow I hear the above in a Southern "bless your heart" accent😉

This is the beginning of a novel that I would read. Please continue the story!

Oh wow. Sorry this happened, but I'm glad he's ok and you have video showing its the other driver's fault. Hugs to you all, and I hope you all have a quiet weekend to reset and regroup.

I agree with Mercy. Stay out of it because you have no power or influence in it. However, if you do give the fired aide a monetary gift and tell her you are sorry for how it was handled, that lets her and your friend know that you were not on board with the process. And I agree, it doesn't need to be a week's salary, especially if she never worked a full week. Just a hundred or two would be a nice gesture.

Yes, it's a little trickier when there's a specific drink or a specific toast. I just make sure I have a glass of something (water, sparkling cider) and make sure I am cheerfully drinking from it at the appropriate times. That lets everyone know I'm fully participating in the joy of the occasion. If they want to make it about alcohol, that's their choice. Usually nobody cares, but some might make a comment. Just commit to doing you, and letting them do them. You might start a trend in your friend group😉

I don’t drink at all. I just don’t like the taste of the stuff, and I don’t like how it makes me feel. When asked about it, I just say that I don’t like it, or I say that I don’t drink. It has never been an issue. It can be a little lonely being the only non-drinker at a heavy drinking party/ wedding, etc, but those are rare in our circles.

I have a monthly deep tissue massage. It is not a relaxing massage; she works hard to get the knots out. Then I exercise regularly and use muscle relaxants (rarely) when necessary. It's been hard to get relief, but this system works for me. It can be debilitating. I hope you find something that works for you.

I agree with everyone else. I'd report her and switch therapists. Sounds like she has an axe to grind against SAHMs and military wives. Even if she has reasons for her bias, she should not project it onto her patients. That's unprofessional. I'd report her to make sure that if this is a pattern with her, it is well documented, in case her superiors need a trail of paperwork to take action against her. She is probably doing this to others.

Don't know if this will help or not: A couple we know were happily married for 40+ years, when one day the husband told the wife, "I never loved you. This was a mistake." She hadn't seen it coming, but looking back, she realized there were some signs of his dissatisfaction, depression, whatever you want to call it. She divorced him because she recognized that the marriage was dead. It was a shock to everyone. At first she felt that her whole life was a lie. I told her that her life was not a lie. She was a good wife and friend to him. She has friends and family now because of her marriage to him. She is a loving friend, mom, grandmother. Her life with him was not a lie, even if his life was. She gave the marriage her all because of the person she is, and now she has moved on and is thriving in her new single life. She has even moved through the pain and grief and forgiven him. He, on the other hand, has lost his friends and family and is trying to find himself. It's sad to see him. We wonder if there's some mental issue or trauma-processing going on with him. All that so say, you were a good friend and you had many special moments and life experiences with your friend. Her new perspective can't take that away from you. You have not lived a lie, even if she perceives it that way. You are a true and loyal friend. The core of who you are is still intact, even if she doesn't see it that way. You will grieve, because it is a death of sorts, but the experience was real. I wish you the best in your journey, and I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope you can disconnect from your friend in a healthy way, but also retain some compassion for her.

PM me if they're going to Fairchild AFB

Your state's Aging and Long Term Care office might have printed resources. If you are in a crisis, you might find an eldercare social worker to talk to about options. If you are just starting to think about this, but don't have a pressing need, I'd start on a list: 1. Help the senior get paperwork in order, make copies, and know where they are stored. This includes wills, trusts, POAs, medical directives, banking info, income and expense info, etc. 2. Start to talk about "When the time comes..." Where do you see yourself living if spouse dies first. What kind of care are you hoping to get from us/others? Would you move? Where? Know their wishes long before the need arises, because you never know when the need will arise. 3. Amazon has many books and resources for getting the above ready. Eldercare planning books, dementia, etc. I'm sure others will chime in on this thread also. 4. Talk with your spouse and family members and set boundaries/expectations on caregiving and who will handle what when the time comes. And see who will be cooperative or problematic. A lot of people may have expectations or assumptions that others don't agree with.

That sounds stressful. Is there any way you can just let DH travel his own way, and not worry about him? Let him know when you're available and not available to give him rides, and have him take Ubers the rest of the time. I don't think his poor planning/method of travel should be your problem.

Hugs to you. Welcome to deconstruction. Deconstruction hasn't been a bad thing for me, but it has been long and at times painful. I was able to shed a lot of the toxic beliefs I used to hold, realign with the teachings of Jesus, and find a place of peace and joy in my faith. Everyone's journey is different; some lose their faith or find another faith, and that's a risk of the process. But once you start deconstructing, you can't really stop the process, unless you are in denial. My journey started with a lot of questioning and anger and cynicism. Don't stop the questioning; that's healthy and will lead you to truth. The anger and cynicism should get better as you address the causes, and abandon the old toxic belief systems. I try not to post publicly about this because I don't wan't to judge others' faith systems. Feel free to message me if you want. Blessings to you.

I was shopping on a military base. Most people just took their phones out and looked, then carried on with shopping, relieved that it wasn't a military alert or fire alarm. No nanoparticle activation. No zombies. No rapture. No mobilization of military personnel. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed. I thought this might turn into a "Where were you during the great Alert of 10/4/23!?"

You can't make people do anything, sadly. But you can refuse to be executor if called upon. I am trying to get a very close relative to make a will. They are an otherwise intelligent, savvy person, but they just don't think they need a will, and that inheritance laws will work. This may be true, but what a headache for the relatives who live overseas who will have to figure out the inheritance laws and advocate for themselves, etc. in the US. Trust me, this will not be kind to their closest family members. And I will not do it. So, my next tactic is going to be explaining what will happen if they don't have a will and have not given last wishes/funeral instructions. 1. Your relatives will need to come to the US and find a lawyer in two different states (assets and property are in both states). This alone would be a daunting task. The state probate judge in the US may not want to deal with your overseas assets, and the overseas judge may not want to deal with US assets, so that will be a big headache for your family. They won't "just inherit" everything. Banks and real estate managers need paperwork and court orders before they can just give a family the assets. 2. This is what I'll do at your funeral: Cremate you and have a Beatles tribute band play hymns. You don't like that idea? Then tell me what you want! Tell me what you don't want! Tell me anything that will help make this meaningful. If you don't care, then I'll do what I do, or we'll do nothing.

We are mostly retired. I work just two days a week, and I put my money towards travel and family vacations. We hope to go visit our daughter who is studying overseas this year. And we usually go to Yellowstone every other year. As we age, a lot of our money is going towards health and fitness, so we are able to do the things we want to do, physically, like travel and hike.

Are you talking about nighttime mouth guards? I use Plackers Grind No More disposable dental guards. I buy from Amazon in boxes of 16 per box, and that usually lasts me for a month or two. They’re disposable so you throw them away after 3 or 4 nights. It took about a week to get used to them, but now I like them and they work for me. You can put them on upper or lower teeth, whichever is most comfortable for you. My dentist said to try these before investing in an expensive custom mouth guard. good luck finding something that works for you😁

They’re trying to get you to be the home health aide. Don’t do it. Keep your boundaries firm.