Looking for product recommendations fromanyone living in icy-cold areas. My 6'1'' tall teen boy really needs a new winter coat but absolutely hates wearing coats. He generally tries to get by with a fur-lined hoodie which works ok if he is not outside for long. But we are about to move to a new town where he will be walking to high school and is liable to get a lot colder as temperatures run -30 to -40 Celsius. He hates the puffer jackets that are so popular right now as he thinks they make him look heavy. Any one have any coat recommendations for a kid that wants to look "cool" but needs to stay warm? His current plan is apparently to just freeze to death which I am not super happy about. We bought him a bomber style coat which he initially said was ok, but he feels is a bit short now ( as he runs kind of long in the body.) I have been internet shopping for awhile now, but am feeling a bit stymied on this one... all the "cool" coats seem to be the puffer jacket style. All the warm coats look like what my huband would wear ( so extremely not "cool") . We tried shopping in actual stores near us but selection was extremely limited. He runs about a size XL to XXL in coats. Anyone have any recommendations that their own teen boy considers both fashionable and warm?

I wanted to address this in general as I think this is a very unrealistic statement. Most people can not just "decide" to be easygoing. I have been working on that for the last 20 years myself and although I may be a lot more easygoing about things than I used to be, for someone who just met me, I guarantee their first impression of me is not how easygoing I am. That is a very different thing from giving people the benefit of the doubt. As far as "deciding" to feel emotions, Not a Number is very clearly feeling emotions and sharing them is exactly what some people are objecting too. As far as "deciding" to learn social skills, everyone can learn social skills, sure. But for some people that is easy, and innate and for others, it is a hard slogging process akin to climibing up a mountain. And sadly sometimes half-way up the mountain you fall off and have to start again or you find you have climbed the wrong mountain or such. I am thinking here of my own personal journey in "deciding to learn" social skills, which is so much harder for those of us who don't get it innately than I think people realize. I think Not A Number made it pretty clear that she felt a forum had different social rules than personal IRL conversation. Others have made it clear that they don't view it that way. Great, now she knows, and can do with that information what she wants. I also think one thing Not A Number has been trying to say is that addressing her directly at the time you object to a statement or behaviour is more helpful, rather than a bunch of people feeling upset, and resentful and doing nothing about it until a conversation like this happens. Then suddenly people start messaginging one member and then "cheering" her on as she tackles Not A Number? The tone of glee in the member's voice as she announces she is speaking for so many others seems pretty off-putting to me. It is hard for me to imagine that anyone wrote that and was unaware it would be painful to hear. In fact, I would imagine that is why it was said, entirely in order TO hurt Not A Number. Which personally seems a lot more objectionable than someone hurting people accidentally because they are having trouble reading social cues.

I got Covid on October 10. Per workplace protocols, I was back at work a week later. I was no longer exhibiting most symptoms except a lingering cough but was assured that was typical. But I was so tired, it was horrible. I limped though the work week, until my breathing and coughing got so bad I was throwing up, and went back to the doctor's. They took x-rays, put me on antibiotics, and I took another week off of work, then went back. Still only felt about 80% of my normal self in terms of energy. Very grumpy, got tired easily, was coming home from work so exhausted that I was doing very little housework, cooking etc. I took a break from exercising, did the most basic meal prep imaginable and focussed on laundry and dishes only. My son pitched in a lot more than he normally does. It is now Nov 29, and it is only this last week that I finally feel like myself again and have begun tackling more than just the "bare bones" survival mode of work and living. I think when you are that tired/ sick, mental stress is just as exhausting as physical stress. The thing that drove me crazy was everyone else at work who had Covid was like , oh the first few days are the worst and then you feel better. Much later on, after I complained about how tired I STILL was, many of them admitted they actually had also ha a difficult time shaking off the tiredness several weeks later. It bothered me that everyone downplayed it so much. It made it so much harder to speak up and say that I was still tired as heck and really not myself yet, even if I was over "the worst" of it. Long way of saying, go ahead and take the time you need to feel better.

the chipmunks song.... but Santa Baby would be a close second.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. It is a terrible thing to go through.

Yes, I agree. I think this is the direction I am going to be heading into. I know a lot of people have been saying , "Just have fun on your own!" But they missed the part where I am not enjoying being on my own. But expanding activities to include friends and such is probably the direction I might have to go. As I work as a teacher on a First Nations reserve, the other teachers usually go home for Christmas and are not here to hang with. Local people have huge extended families and are busy with them. I may need to do more of my in-person socializing before the teachers leave for the holidays. My long-time friends are very far away, although I liked the zoom idea and might try to do some activities over zoom. I have mixed feelings about zoom. Other Ideas I have been thinking of so far are: Doing a baking club with the kids at school, Buying some Christmas books to share ( I don't know why this didn't cross my mind.. we did this when he was little, and they probably won't read them with me, but they would be here and available if they wanted). I would love to do a cookie exchange but as I am gluten-free that gets a little tricky. I am trying to think of a way to maybe have a cookie decorating party instead? I could attempt to do fancy lights this year for the competition. I would have to buy a bunch more lights, but it is possible my son might help with that. I am looking at a few Christmassy quilt block patterns that I could do a bit of sewing and turn them into mug rugs or mini ornaments or something, and then I would feel like I was doing something fun even if others were just watching TV or on their computers. I am eyeing the Lego advent calendars beause we do all love lego... Also thought of buying a fun lego kit and doiing it together before Christmas so it is up and adding to the decorations. No one in my house likes doing puzzles with me, but one of my son's little cousins is a huge fan, so I might buy some easier puzzles and have them ready to do with him when we see him. I would like to find another board game we could all enjoy. I love the calendar idea and was thinking that might be an easy way to create suggestions for the family to see, without me feeling like I am constantly asking and getting told no, which I sort of find depressing after awhile. I kind of feel a bit like a big , goofy dog surrouned by aloof cats sometimes. Just looking for what might appeal to my lovable but slightly prickly cats. Seeing everybody's ideas was helpful to get the creative juices flowing . I have been deliberatly avoiding things like Pinterest because I didn't want to get sucked into making things look perfect, which will just drive us all crazy and be fun to noone.

I am about at rural as it gets honestly... small town of about 500 people out in the middle of the wilderness in Northern Ontario. No road access to the main land. It would cost me over 1000 to get us to the nearest "big" town of 5000 people. I have taken the family to what events exist in our area. There are some Christmassy events such as snow sculpture ( usually done with chain saws, which I don't have as we don't need one for our heating), a Christmas Eve party with a focus on kids.... which we did when he was younger but he would feel too old for now. There is a best decorated house competition we could enter? We do usually go around and check these out everyone's snow sculpture creations, and people's house light displays. The school does the Christmas parade which is probably one of my favouirite things, and as a teacher, I am involved in that every year. We also do a school concert, which obviously I also do. I think as a former city person myself, I am kind of used to "going" to things as well like you suggest, which I was I was initially a bit flummoxed on how to do it differently. That is why I was thinking of the concept of traditions more as the idea of things you do, rather than go to. While I don't expect a child to generate ideas when they have had limited access to a wide variety of activities, I definitely think my husband who grew up in a large metropolitan area, might have seen or heard of other people doing Christmassy things that he wished his family would do. Or seen stuff on TV that he might have thought, "Hey that looks like fun." I don't think it is completely bizarre to expect a grown man to have some ideas on what they like to do, and certainly was never of the opinion that I was the only one capable of generating ideas. Unfortunately, I find both dh and ds are great at conveying what they DON"T want to do , but not so great at telling me what the DO want to do. That's why I was trying to grab some ideas from other people--- which they can also say no to, but at least i am starting from a bigger list than the things I happen to like and automatically turn to. I think I am good now, really. This helped me generate some ideas and to see that we do have some traditions, such as watching certain Christmas movies. I have some ideas going forward into the holiday season and that's what I needed.

I am not so much thinking of a tradition as: unwanted ritual that must be done every year like clockwork, and more like... fun things we often do that help bring fun to the season. Something joyful to look forward to. Some of the traditions poeple have shared here are not things that would have crossed my mind, and yet might be things my family would like doing. I am wanting to add more experience-type traditons to the season, with less focus on gift-giving. With my son getting older, the presents aren't so often fun things to open and play with, like in in the younger years. Although I did find myself eyeing robot kits and wondering if he might like one , and if he didn't, would it be ok to get one just for me? Unfortunately, just asking them what they want to do has not been super successful...... they just generally say they don't know. That's why I wanted to gather a bunch of ideas up so I could kind of find some that might "fit" us as a family. I don't know.. I guess I get tired of every day seeming exactly like the last, and kind of look forward to having some special things to do at this time of year. I don't need a picture perfect holiday, I would just like to have a little more fun, and was hoping for some ideas my family might find fun too.

Just about started crying when I got to the last bit! Thank-you!

You know, this is something that just hadn't crossed my mind as I keep up with younger folk this way, but never think to keep in touch with my aunties this way. Maybe trying to set something up this year would be a good idea. I haven't seen my favourite auntie in almost 14 years as she lives so far away in California.

Hi everyone, Thank you so much for the great ideas! I think looking at everyone's suggestions, I am realizing that part of what is making me sad, is that Christmas used to be a time of getting together with my extended family and doing lots of fun thing together..... Part of what I am missing is simply that joy of togetherness from having lots of people around that you love. My current family is very tiny, and all my extended family is way far away, so getting together with them is not really a realistic or affordable goal. My foster son always has to go visit his biological family but doesn't really want to and that causes a whole other layer of stress to the holiday. They also really seem to leave it last minute to figure out what they want to do. So it does make it somewhat hard to plan things, as we have to stay flexible for that side of the family. I am realizing that part of what I miss is that sense of togetherness that I somehow assocciate with the sense of being loved. The fact that neither dh nor ds really wants to do Christmas activities not only seems boring to me, but has also been making me feel "unloved". I didnt really see that until I was reading everyone's responses. I may need to find some other people who do enjoy doing Christmassy things to fill up that love tank. Thanks guys, you have given me a lot to think about, and I appreciate reading some of the ideas that are very low-prep such as advent calendars and Christmas Movie watching.

Ok, so this probably sounds weird to all you super organized types, but we really have a problem with holidays in our house. My husband's family really did not plan holidays so he is not generally all that big on celebrating them and essentially has no fond memories of any holiday traditions. Attempts to enlist suggestions for possible family celebrations/ traditions tend to provoke a response that is sweet but not very helpful. ( somewhere along the lines of I just want everyone to be happy). When my lovely foster son was younger, he often found waiting for a big holiday such as Christmas extra stressful, and it seemed to provoke a lot of poor behaviour, so we learned to really down-play holidays in order to avoid triggering a negative response. The problem is: I love the holidays. The Christmas holidays of my childhood, especially were times of such happiness. But many of my favourite memories involve things that my family loved but doesn't really trigger any joy in my current family ( such as making gingerbread cookies, or going to cut down a Christmas tree, or having large family parties). The thing is that I can't seem to find any sort of family activity they do enjoy, and doing these activities all by myself seems to defeat the purpose ( to me, anyways of these kinds of holiday activities. But it makes me really sad that we don't have any fun holiday traditions/ activities. And every year, the holidays come around and just seem... boring and sad. I have tried to just let it go and not care about it at all but that has not been successful. I would really like to change that this year, but I am just not sure how? How did your family holiday traditions start? Are there things that just you do, and not the rest of the family? How did you find activities that everyone liked? I really would like the holidays to be fun this year. But I can't seem to figure out how to make that happen when the other members of the family seem so disinterested in it. We live in a pretty remote area so it is not like I can just pop over to my family's house to celebrate with them. I feel a bit silly even talking about this, but I guess this is my attempt to try and address this issue in enough time to actually have a fun holiday season this year.

I just want to say... sometimes this can be a "the grass is always greener on the other side thing". I remember the many times I went to work miserable, and heart-broken because I would have given anything to stay home with my son but we literally couldn't afford it. Tearing myself away from him as he cried for me are some of my worst memories. I do make good money. But I am not sure anything can ever make up for the years I lost working and not being a part of his life. He was very resentful of the time my job took away from my time with him, and truthfully still takes me away from him. And I can't help but wonder what would be different if I stayed home instead. Maybe part of this is the middle-age reflection of wondering about the path not chosen.

I am grateful that I am finally on the mend from the Covid/ bronchitis that has plagued me the last 3 weeks. I am grateful my husband was able to return back to our city for a few days to help me get things in order here. I am grateful that my son who hates school went to school today without complaint.

Just, going back to the camper idea for a moment here. The biggest thing to think about is how cold does it get in your area? And how much are they bothered by the cold? My husband and son have no problems being a titch cold and would not be bothered by it. I get overly chilled and would absolutely hate being chilly all winter long. But of course, I live in an extremely cold area. If your area is more mild, that may not be a huge consideration. As to the bathroom issue........ I lived summers at my grandparents' cottage in which they still used an outhouse out back. I was not overly fond of heading out in the night to use the outhouse, but even as a kid it was certainly doable. If neither they nor you mind them coming in to use the toilet, then it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it.

Happy Birthday! If it helps, It is not that you are being petty and upset about your birthday. It is that you are pouring out to other people and wish someone would pour themselves out for you just a little. It makes us feel unloved when no one seems to give back the time and energy we give to others. Think about what you need over the next few weeks to be able to get the rest AND recreation you need. Because YOU need it. Not just because you need to get better to take care of others. Because you also matter. Not just your mom. Not just your husband. Not just the people on the mission trip. You also matter and deserve to feel loved and celebrated.

I hope it passes soon, along with the pain.

Ooh, good point, I have been having a lot of diet pop lately. And my cousin actually has vagal issues, which I hadn't thought of. Well, we will see if things get better by cutting back on caffeine, and drinking more fluids. I guess if it keeps happening, I will check in with the nursing station.

We have just tried this as well. Testing suggests the left ear is fine, but some dizziness with the right ear position. We have tried the maneuver. Not sure if we did it correctly, but we are going to follow the after-care instructions, which I found enlightening. My bed normally is raised due to GERD issues, but we hadn't raised the bed yet at the new house. And I have definitely had my head/ ear down a lot, as I have been bending over to pack, and unpack boxes, and cleaning cupboards and fridge and stuff.

I don't think it is vertigo. It is less dizzy and more feeling very light-headed.

Occasionally if I stand up too quick, I might feel a bit dizzy, but it would pass in a couple of seconds. The car is a good idea too actually, as we are babysitting someone's truck right now and have been using it to drive loads to the dump from the old house. It is pretty old and might very well have some sort of interior exhaust issues.

Thank-you, I will try this. We have been moving house so lots of physical exertion every day moving boxes back and forth as well.

This has been happening for the last two weeks or so. Everytime I get out of the car to go into the house, I feel like I am about to pass out. Like I literally go gray, feel dizzy, there is a ringing in my ears, and I end up leaning against something or grabbing my husband's arm so i don't fall over. It passes in a few minutes. My husband is theorizing that something about going from the air-conditioned car to the heat is triggering it. I don't know about that theory, as it doesn't seem that hot outside, (we live up North) . It is only 61 F outside right now. And stepping out of the air-conditioned house into the heat doesn't trigger it. I feel stupid going to the nursing station if that is all this is. ( But why is it suddenly happening now, when I have never had this any other summer? ) Any ideas on what it is or how to stop it happening? I really don't want to actually pass out. I am overweight and any actual fall will almost certainly cause an injury.

Just wanted to say thank-you for this, as I have been kind of baffled by this thread. I definitely remember kids having BB guns as a kid and they were absolutely treated as a toy, not a firearm. I don't remember anyone getting hurt by one, nor did they seem capable of hurting someone unless you shot them in the eye. They had no distance really whatsoever. They would not even have been used for target practice by anyone seriously wanting to learn how to shoot. They were not kept locked up and kids ran around with them without any supervision whatsoever. I have to assume people are talking about 2 totally different classes of object. None of us grew up to be sociopaths as far as I knew. I was absolutely bullied as a child , and was far more frightened of the kid who kept hitting me with the ruler in school than I ever was of the neighborhood kid who ran around with his BB gun. As to the specific incident under discussion, after the incident is over , CPS makes far more sense as they won't come in guns ablazing. If your child is being threaatened, right then and there and the child won't back down, I can see calling the police , but I would totally want to emphasize that it was a BB gun rather than say an assault rifle or something. CPS can also suggest things like parental training courses, support groups for kids who have special needs issues, check on whether this is also occurring at school, etc., drop in on the family periodically for surprise visits, as well as remove the child from the home if the parent is unco-operativve, or they feel the situation warrants it. At least in my area, CPS has far more power than police do ( over children under the age of 13) , and in any situation involving a child, police are usually going to get them involved right away, as handling children is considered "their" territory. I imagine this varies in different regions. Here the polilce would give a "youth warning", and it would go on their file. They might talk to the parents. CPS would be far more useful.

This is so interesting. We had an outbreak in my class, I got sick 3 days later, and got tested like 3 times for Covid , each time coming up negative. It seemed so weird that it wasn't Covid. Now I wonder if it actually was all along?