Well, so far, I have bought some extra laundry baskets to put in the bathroom so everyone just puts their dirty clothes there. ( They already had one in their rooms but if they had a shower, sometimes items ended up on the floor instead of the laundry basket.) More garbage pails/ and or bigger ones in rooms that had too small a pail. I moved the dishes to a much smaller cupboard to free up a larger cupboard for snacks and cooking items that lets me gets a lot of snack stuff off the counter. I moved the kitchen table to a different corner and have set up a work space for my husband to put computer and printer on ( which we had in the house but was in an odd and not easily usable location). I got a small bookshelf that hopefully he can use to put papers and mail and such there instead of on kitchen table. I got a small set of drawers for the sink countertop to get smaller items like combs and shavers and such off the counter. I also got a small shelf to put towels and other bathroom items on. I set up a table in the laundry area so hopefully he will have a place to fold laundry. ( again, it was a table we had elsewhere in the house, that just got repurposed.) I got a bulletin board so he can pin those incidental papers somewhere which I think will work better for him than filing them. I have made a list up for Evening Chores. If they get that list done most nights of the week, the house would improve significantly. I am going to make up a couple of lists for bedroom cleaning and bathroom cleaning, which could be done on Saturdays. If I add too much , none of it will get done, but this might be do-able. At least it will give them all a starting point. It only leaves the hallway, stairs and living room, but it doesn't seem like that is where the majority of the problems occur. I also bought some removable labels but have not yet got around to labelling things yet. That may happen tomorrow. Hopefully all the changes will help. I tried to think of solutions for the problem spots in the house. Thank-you for all the suggestions, they really helped me think about the situation in a different way.

Kbutton, your entire post is such a gold mind of information and insight. Thank-you! Yes it absolutely provokes anxiety to do a lot of categorizing at once. The switch between big picture/ detail thing might be an issue too.. Hmmmm.... lots of things to think on.

I will check this out. He is on his phone far more than I am so it might be useful.

Most schools won't let students take pills on their own. Overdoses of Tylenol are often used in teen suicide where I live. ADHD medicine could be taken twice by a forgetfull student or stolen by a roommate who wants to get high. My son offered his friend an Advil once for a headache, not realizing the friend had a clotting issue. Luckily, the student was aware those weren't safe for him and turned it down. I confess that I don't think the birth control pills should be an issue, but they probably worry about people getting upset about exceptions. How much trouble would your daughter get into if she just keeps the birth control pills and takes them on her normal schedule? Is it the kind of thing they would send a student home for?

I would love, love, love if they kept the fridge organized but we are still working on the macro stuff for right now. But I will keep this in mind for the summer when I move down here. I must admit I had never thought of labelling the actual fridge shelves. I have always been frustrated by this one though... like isn't it obvious that the lettuce is going to go with all the other vegetables? but no... it really isn't to any of them. The prettiness thing does matter to me though... I am wondering if I can find those clear plastic labels that self-stick to windows and such and see if they might work. If I could do some sort of decorative font, it would bug me less to have eveything labelled.

Since I am here in town and actually have access to stores for once, I am going to head out later and see what I can find. I have to head home in a couple of days and then they will be on their own for this stuff.

fraidycat, Thank-you so much for the clutterbug link!! This is so useful!!! He is definitely a "butterfly" - open, macro organization. Still thinking what "bug" I am.

For him, I feel like generally he does not notice visual details. It is more all encompassing that just faces. But the face blindness one is the most embarrassing because people will often take it very personally as if it means that he doens't like them or they are so unimportant that he can't remember them. But really for him.... one tall brunnette with her hair back in a ponytail looks much like another. As far as organizing goes, I feel like there is difficulty with sorting/ categorizing. Like if a table was messy, I would automatically start putting the pens and pencils in an area with other office supplies, put the screwdriver and hammer that were left out and stick them in the toolbox, and gather up the boys things and put them in a container, etc. etc. He would just look at it and be overwhelmed by all the little different things, and sweep them all into one big box to deal with later. Only later will never come. I will just stumble across it at some point and wonder why all these different things are in one box. That is a separate issue from cleaning but definitely has an impact if he has to declutter first.

The face blindness thing is definitely a thing....... I very unofficially think he might be on the spectrum. Like, he would tell me someone picked him up and gave him a ride to the store, and I would ask him who it was. And he would say, " I dont' know... but I think I know them from work... I think they are one of the teaching assistants." Uhm.... honey... you work AT the school!!!!!! How can you not recognize someone you work with???? But he doesn't and he is embarrassed to ask because he knows he SHOULD know who they are. It is a real problem for him actually. It doesn't seem to be the type of thing that is very fixable.

Ooh! Thank you , this is wonderful! I am going to make a cup of coffee and settle down on the couch to watch this !

This!! Exactly this! I keep thinking , well, he doesn't follow my system, maybe he will work out one of his own. I thought possibly when he was living on his own? But no..... I don't want to sound like his mom, but I cannot handle everything looking so messy and chaotic. But I am a very visual person and he is not visual at ALL. And his visual memory is horrible as well, if it is not right out in the open, it might as well be on Mars.

This was very helpful. I just went around and tried to get as many things off the main countertop as possible. One thing I have noticed with my son is that if there is NOTHING on the countertops, they tend to put things away. If there is anything on there at all, then they seem to think anything goes. I have moved our dishes into a tiny cupboard and put the things the teenagers reguarly eat in a cupboard that has a glass front so they can see it. We live in a rental. I am not sure how to label the cupboards in a non-permanent fashion. I hate the look of labels ( it makes me feel like I am in my classroom!!) , but yeah maybe it is worth it if I could make it look comfortable like a house and not like an office space.

So reading the thread about what constitutes clean vs messy vs dangerously unsanitary got me thinking about HOW to keep a house clean. I find if it is just me, I kind of putter along and it gets done because I don't like seeing a big mess, but I have a hard time putting into words what I do. I don't have any system or anything, I just sort of tackle whatever looks messy. But this topic is one I am trying to figure out how to do more systematically. Because my husband is living in another town with my son and his friend so the teenagers can go to high school and all 3 of them are SO messy. And I can't figure out how to help them keep the house a little cleaner. I used to think my husband was being lazy, but I have realized he just has no clue whatsoever. He seems to have such a hard time putting things away. He likes everything out where he can see it. If I put it away, he can't find it, because he can never remember where things are. Like right now, I am trying to get the kitchen organized but I am a bit stumped of where to put things so he can see them, but without just leaving everything on the counter ( his current solution) . When he realizes he needs to clean, he goes into an absolute panic and will sometimes pick the oddest things to work on, like suddenly decide that is the day he should pull all the papers off the desk and organize them on the couch or something. Instead of say, cleaning the bathroom, and doing a garbage dump run. When I am in town, I just kind of rope him and the boys into whatever I am doing and it all gets done, but I don't really have any system. The problem is , everytime I come to visit, I end up spending a good chunk of time cleaning. I don't really want to spend every vacation and every visit to town this way. Does anyone have a system they use ? Is it a series of checklists or to-do lists? A set routine you follow through the week? I don't quite know how to get something set up that my family can do it without me standing there, nudging things along. ( Something like the Fly Lady won't work for him... all the million emails overwhelmed me, and would just drive him crazy.) Really looking for actual systms/ steps here. Like something they could check off each day without feeling completely overwhelmed. Just telling them: "Pick up after yourselves more" is not really going to help, as it is not specific enough. What do you guys do?

I am always the cold person. If I am dressed warmly, have a warm blanket tucked around me, have had a hot cup of tea or coffee, and still feel so cold that I am not functioning well, then the heat goes up. My husband can always strip down to a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and have a glass of cold water. However, we also keep a small plug-in heater that I can sit near so we don't have to heat up the entire house just because I feel too cold. The person who is too warm could also step on our porch and enjoy the wintery -30 weather we are having and cool right down if they are having an issue. However, this is mostly a winter issue for us. In the summer, we both like it a bit on the cold side. In fact we rented our current house with the awareness that it would probably be a little cold in the winter, but it has a nice cool basement that seemed like it would be very pleasant in the summer.

I do think the sports talk can just be how some people view all men. We live in the north which is hockey territory. People will often try to start a conversation with my husband about last night's hockey game, and don't quite know what to say when he says he hasn't watched it. You can kind of just see them baffled.... what Canadian man doesn't watch hockey????? But he is originally from Texas and when he gets a chance, he mostly watches American football. He absolutely loves poetry and music, but no one ever tries to start a conversation with him about poetry!!! ( Note: he also loves older wrestling, but because he is used to hanging out with artsy types who have no use for wrestling, he would never think to bring up wrestling as a conversation starter!) My nearest Costco is a plane ride and a 5 hour car drive after that, so I can't help you there. We definitely spend 600 up here for groceries if we are trying to stock up.

I teach second grade and love it so much. They can do so much more than the grade 1's can but are still not too cool to enjoy school! You can still have fun with learning centers and group games that are still educational. You can make a huge difference in their literacy and math schools and the range between the weaker and the stronger kids is much more manageable. No standardized testing is a huge plus! I used to teach grade 5 and 6 and I really love grade 2 myself. It is a bit more work with prepping games and centers though, but I enjoy that part too.

No alphabet people sadly. We had a huge phonics chart that included the digraphs, the r-controlled vowels and I believe the different vowel teams. We drilled on it every day and did a little phonics worksheet afterwards on lovely purple mimeographed paper.

yeah, I definitely remember learning set theory quite young.

I totally hear you!! My wonderful foster son is still a huge handful, and it is amazing the amount of stress and anxiety it can cause. He has asked to have a friend come and live with us in our new home which will allow that friend to finish high school as well, and we think will help him feel more confident at the new school as well. But oh my!!! I thought we were almost done and instead we have added another one!! You are doing a good thing!! Even when we are parenting imperfectly it is better than the lack that might be occuring if we were not willing to step in with alll our imperfections to help out...

My January Goals 1. Set up separate budgets for both me and my husband as we are temporarily living in 2 separate houses. ( goal is half-done) 2. Develop a realistic grocery budget for both households that is significantly less than what we spend currently. ( This is our worst area) 3. Develop a debt repayment plan AND sinking funds plan AND emergency funds plan so that we don't keep dipping into the line of credit. 4. Start tracking expenses so I have a better sense of where we are spending and what part can be reduced. Just looking at this makes me feel a little overwhelmed tbh, but it really is necessary if we are going to make this work. We really need to buy a car now that my husband is living in this new town as it is COLD and he and my son are either walking everywhere or taking taxis . Or just not going out, which is not great for anyone's mental health. But we are trying hard not to look at cars until we are consistently staying within our income AND paying off our debt.

I want to try. We are a 2 household family this year, and it is requiring a lot more active planning and discussions regarding money to ensure one person doens't accidentally spend money intended for something else. So trying to get ontop of spending is a key goal for this year for our family.

Thank-you that iis exactly what I was looking for and not quite finding. I was estimating about 400 a week when we did up a meal plan, but I was worried I was overspending. Since my meal plan was only foe 3 instead of 4, it does sound like I am I bit high. Healthcare is definitely a huge savings, and certainly my salary is a lot higher than what U.S. teachers get paid. We also live in a HCOL area up north, so almost everything is getting shipped in from somewhere else, which adds to food costs quite a bit. However, I am also currently running 2 households, so that adds to our expenses as well. That should end come June, when I should be able to move to the same city as my husband and son ( and his friend) are going to be in. I think my husband, was either just not eating or living off of really cheap and unhealthy junk food to try and keep costs down when it was just him. I am trying to help him plan more a more healthy menu that is still relatively low-cost and doesn't leave anyone feeling hungry.

Any fellow canadians willng to state what you spend on food weekly? I know prices have gone up all over, but when I try to look at American budget suggestions, the prices are so low, that they numbers simply aren't realistic. We are trying to set up our budget for next year, and are just trying to get a sense of what might be realistic. This is an area we tend to overspend in, and I want to rein it in a little without being completely unrealistic. I am trying to set up the food budget for my husband who will be taking care of two teenage boys in a different city from me. They all are big eaters!!

Seems normal to call to me. Neither my husband nor I sleep well when the other is away and both of us are pretty prone to worrying, truthfully. It takes less than a minute to call or even just send a text message. It would be different if they were requiring you to check in on your every move, but just wanting to know that you got home safely before they go to sleep seems normal to me.

Thank you for all the recommendations and especially the links that help me see what you are looking at! I am off to a funeral now, but will be checking these out more thoroughly once I get back!