Our family decision was to give the kids their own phone when they start high school (which is 7th grade, or about age 12.5, here). But YMMV; I think it depends a lot on the maturity of the kids, where you live, and how often your children are going to be away from you.

Do you use some of the online games that MM suggests for each topic? We use Khan Academy every so often to alleviate the MM boredom.

We don't possess a garage, but if we did, I would certainly park in it.

Yes, I would be bothered. Coarse language doesn't bother me per se, but as others have pointed out, it's quite unprofessional in this context, and I would be concerned that if the dentist is being unprofessional with his language, then he might also be sloppy or unprofessional regarding other things such as hygiene, confidentiality, and so on. Of course, it may well be that this person was simply making a misguided attempt to connect with your teen by using what he thought was 'youth' language. But I'd still offer some feedback to the practice manager.

I'm sure this has been covered here before... When your kids are ready to read unabridged 'classic' / 'great' books, what are the easiest to start with? I want to select the most accessible, least daunting, options, as two of my three kids are hard to please with books and I'm anxious not to put them off by asking them to read something they find impossibly dense, confusing, etc. I would hugely appreciate any suggestions, either books for kids to read themselves or books for me to read to them (yes, I have a teenager and we still do family read aloud)

I think there are several different issues that could be relevant here. As far as moral / ethical concerns go, we don't have any religious or other beliefs that disapprove of sex outside of marriage, so whether or not our kids choose to engage in sexual activity at all is a non concern for us. I am concerned about safety (physical and emotional), respect (including self-respect), and consent, though, so if I knew or suspected that sexual stuff was happening, I'd be going over all of those issues again to make sure that my teen has thought things through properly, and is properly taking care of themselves and their partner/s. I'm also concerned about legality. We have a broad principle in our family that says we obey the law unless there is a compelling reason not to, so therefore I don't condone any sexual activity under the official ages of consent. Another issue I would have is that I'm not into undermining other parents so I can be the "cool parent". As far as I'm concerned, a person over 18 is a legal adult, and they can do what they want (although I'd still strongly encourage them to consider their parents' advice). But for a minor under the age of 18, I'm generally not going to facilitate them going against their parents' rules (unless it's some kind of extreme case where the parents are putting the teen at risk). So for example, if my 14yo son had a 14yo girlfriend who wanted to stay over with him, that would be a legal sexual relationship where I am, however I would nevertheless be contacting her parents before I even considered agreeing to it. Assuming that I'm happy about all of the above, it comes down to how convenient (or not) having somebody staying at our house is going to be. A polite, helpful, and undemanding guest is always going to be more enjoyable to have in the house, regardless of their relationship with me or my kids. ETA - as for the bit about 'discretion' and not wanting to hear stuff, I didn't even think to be worried about that. After all, teens are usually far more prone to embarrassment than middle aged people, so I'd assume that any sexy stuff is going to be quiet anyway. (But if not, there is always the option of loud music ;) )

My 14yo doesn't play with kids' toys very much anymore, although he will occasionally join in with his younger siblings. My 12yo is still very into her horse figurines and will also play with pretty much anything in a social context if other kids are playing with that thing. The 8yo is in the full-on imaginative play stage and loves stuffed toys, Lego, whatever.

Firstly, I think flakiness with plans is not an 'unschooling' thing as such. I have met many unschoolers, and never had this issue. If you make plans, you either follow those plans, or you let people know asap if you need to cancel or change the plans. That is just basic manners and respect for others, and has nothing to do with education style in my book. Of course, if the plan actually was 'we'll play it by ear and do what feels right on the day', then you can't really complain. It's possible that if you are very organized and scheduled, whereas they are so 'go with the flow' that they can't cope with a specific plan, they may simply not be the right people for you and your kids to be spending time with. Once you have eliminated the terminally flaky people, you might consider encouraging your kids to have different friends for different things. If they have special interests, maybe they could join groups or clubs to make friends with others who have similar interests. But they shouldn't expect all their friends / acquaintances, to share all of their interests. I think that sometimes we (adults as well as kids) can miss out on some valuable friendships by being too intent on finding 'like-minded' friends.

I feel that 'behind' is just a word: it could be used informatively and constructively, or it could be used negatively and unproductively. It also has various meanings. For example, it could relate to a real world requirement (your state education law mandates that you do x number of 'hours of schooling' for the year, you are 3/4 of the way through the year but have only done 1/3 of the necessary hours), it could relate to an arbitrary external standard (your child is 9 and can't read yet, when most children that age can), or it could relate to a goal that is personal to you (you wanted to finish the whole math book but you had to back up because your student wasn't understanding the material) or a particular child (he wanted to take a mid year music exam but decides to defer because the planned amount of practice didn't happen). It could even be a child who is objectively 2 years 'ahead' of her peers, but is bored by the complete lack of challenge and needs to be 3 years 'ahead' to be in the right place for her. In any case, it's not something to experience extreme stress over; as Spudater said, I think it's just a flag for us to take a closer look at what's going on and consider whether a particular case of 'behind' is actually a problem, and if so, how we're going to address it.

My 14yo catches a bus to the city and hangs out at the library for an hour before his scheduled activity. Sometimes the 8yo does the same (with her brother; I wouldn't leave her on her own). I don't think it's reasonable for your teen to expect you to act like a paid chauffeur and always take him places at the precise time he wants. But he might be uncomfortable about waiting in a fast food joint if he's not buying food. Perhaps the two of you could brainstorm some alternatives. Could he go for a walk around the area? Arrange to meet a friend or another camp counsellor? Sit outside under a tree with his book, magazine, or journal? Organize some alternative transportation? Go to the food place and plan to order his lunch first, sit for a while, and then buy a drink, so he's not appearing to loiter without purchasing things? At 15, he should ideally by able to brainstorm up some different ideas, not just complain.

A laundry schedule and separate laundry bins in almost every room have tamed Mount Washmore for us. We don't have to sort anything before washing; it's just a matter of looking on the schedule each morning and putting the contents of the appropriate bin into the washing machine.

I'm not going to learn anything that doesn't interest me (although, to be honest, most topics do interest me). If the kids need / want to do Advanced Whatever that I am clueless about, that's what tutors, classes, and online lessons are for. I'm always working on my university studies on and off, though, so they do see me modelling a learning lifestyle.

The other thing to consider is what happens if you apply pressure for her to continue and then she gets offered some amazing scholarship. If she still isn't really interested, you're hardly going to force her to commit to a heavier practice and lesson schedule. So in that case you'd only be putting time, effort, and money into postponing the decision to quit. So regrets are going to be a possibility either way. But ultimately, the chances are she'll get more fulfilment from something she loves than from something she is brilliant at but not keen on.

If singing is what she really loves (and assuming she's consistent on that, as opposed to it just being an idea she thought up in the shower this morning), I'd probably be inclined to go with that. Given that she wants to continue with some piano as well, she will certainly have enough musical education that if she wanted to take up horn again in a few years, she could. (ETA - I know this sounds contradictory to what I said before, but I was sort of thinking about my 8yo - who semi-regularly claims she wants to give up one week, and then demands to do extra practice and says she loves it the next week - and I just noticed that your dd is 11)

My Ms. 8 has just finished one series of these and is looking forward to reading more. I think they're great, because they are sort of educational, reinforcing what kids have already learnt about mythology and the pantheons, but way too much fun to be perceived as 'schooly'. But yeah, the non-hetero-typical factor counts as a plus for me, so obviously that's a matter or personal preference.

I'd ask around for personal recommendations on teachers. If you particularly want somebody who works similarly to the teacher you have, ask him. Otherwise, contact other young pianists that you or your kids admire and find out who teaches them. Regarding online or other non traditional learning methods, yes, it would be a downgrade. I wouldn't ever choose to do that if I had the means to arrange in-person, one-on-one lessons; it would only be a last resort to avoid dropping the lessons completely.

Our kids have to do some form of regular exercise, which can be done independently or in the form of an organized sport. And they have to learn music. Other than that, it's just worked out based on what they enjoy, what we can afford (in terms of both time and money), what we believe they can cope with, and what we think is likely to be of benefit to them. At the moment our schedule is busy: we have regular activities every day of the week except Sundays. But we review each child's program with them at the end of every school term, and make any adjustments for the following term. I hear you about not wanting to drop anything when you have a bunch of activities that are all very worthwhile and/or enjoyed by your kids, but in the end we just have to make some choices. My 12yo daughter recently dropped her weekly drama class because there wasn't room for it alongside her two Girl Guides groups, horse riding lessons, and 3 sessions of swim training per week. I figure they can always take up a class or whatever again later on if they regret dropping it. The other thing to bear in mind if you have to limit a lot right now, is that your kids will become more independent (they won't stay little forever lol). Mine are now at the stage where they can get themselves to some activities by walking, biking, or catching a bus, which helps hugely with the logistics!

I'd only let the kid quit after I have investigated the causes of the loss of interest and done everything possible to remedy these over a decent period of time. Kids, especially if they are still young, don't always know their own minds reliably. Also they can sometimes think they have an insurmountable problem, when there is in fact an easy fix. So "I hate piano, I wanna quit" could mean "I feel tired today and really don't fancy practising right now" or "I don't like this particular new etude my teacher gave me" or "some random kid I met in the park said piano is stupid" or "I'm a bit nervous about the recital that's coming up" or any number of other things that aren't really good reasons to quit. Or it could mean "I am passionate about cello and I could double my cello practice if I weren't stuck with piano", which is something I might be able to work with. (The above is for quitting a particular instrument to focus on, or take up, another one. I have a non negotiable requirement for all my kids to do some form of music, same as they have to do literacy and numeracy.)

You can't trust the advisory ratings IMO. I have shown my kids MA (15 and over) stuff that I thought was very tame, and I have seen PG and even G films that I thought had quite unsuitable content for our family. I generally check things on Commonsense Media first, not to get their age recommendations but to look for specific things that concerned people and compare that to what things concern us (eg I don't restrict 'language' so if something has only be rated up because of coarse language I'd let the kids watch it). But even then you can't always rely on it. My biggest personal beef is with the way they always include sly little jokes (often sexual and not infrequently anti-woman) that are meant for only the adults to get. My kids will very often notice and ask about those things that reviewers tell you that kids won't notice. For that reason we have watched a lot of older, 'classic' films. Also, it's a sign of a really good quality kids' movie that it can be enjoyed by all ages without any gimmicks like hidden 'adult' jokes.

"Trans-species"? Last time I looked, elves weren't an actual existing species in the real world. So how on earth would it be possible for this person to identify as an elf? It doesn't seem right to imply a comparison with transgender, which actually is a thing. Maybe some surgeons are happy to do whatever is asked provided the patient can pay...

After trying a few things, we stuck with Math Mammoth (plus a few other odd bits and pieces for variety). It seemed to get the job done with minimal hassle and not too much tweaking, the kids didn't mind it, and it's good value for money. In an ideal world, with an unlimited budget, I would have bought a different curriculum for my third child. But as it is, no regrets. On the whole, I'd say I agree with Susan Wise Bauer's suggestion that it's usually not worth lying awake at nights worrying about math curriculum.

I would also suggest this if it's practical for you. Of course, the girls will likely notice (if they haven't already) that the youngest finds math easier than her sister, but at least if they are working from different programs, it won't be so glaringly obvious every single time they work on their math. My girls have commented on the 'levels' they are doing (my elder daughter is working a year 'behind' while her younger sister is working 2 years 'ahead' according to their ages), but I just shut it down by telling them that in school you are put in a grade and have to do the work for that grade, but that at home it doesn't matter what book you're on, because we work at the pace that suits you best.

I assume that if I tell a married person anything, they may share that information with their spouse. I don't necessarily think they should do that, and I don't take "don't tell anyone" to mean "don't tell anyone except your dh", but I find it safer to operate under that assumption.

I was a 2E kid, so I guess I'm a 2E adult ;)

I haven't seen or read Picnic at Hanging Rock for many years, but my impression was that the movie was much more well-known than the book. I found both pretty boring.