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Everything posted by desertstrawberry5

  1. I was in this situation at 13. There was much sneaking around. But it really wasn't serious. My parents reacted the way most people here are. It came to physical violence. That was horrible and scarring. Honestly, I think would have been better to let it run it's course. By the time my parents found out, he was already leaving me. There was nothing to gain by turning it into something huge and terrible and damaging. If this comes about for my Tori, I am sure that we will handle it the way this family is. Especially if she is mature for her age and finished with school. I am not opposed to early marriage. If I had it to do over, I would have married at 19 to a 32yo man who had a a lot to offer and was marriage minded. We were exceptionally well matched. We did not pursue the relationship solely because of my age. In retrospect, that was a stupid reason. I'm sure this is a super unpopular opinion, but having lived it, I think I have the maybe slightly more insight than others who are quick to condemn. Edit: In my situation, I had just turned 13 when we got together. He expressed interest when I was still 12. He was 23/24. We were together almost a year.
  2. I thought I was clever. We all use a fitted sheet -we prefer jersey, and fleece blanket. With extra fleece throws if it gets cold(it usually doesn't here).
  3. My little boys are loading a large bag of games and a large bag of stuffies into the car. There was a post on another group i'm in about moving board games into large envelopes and ditching the boxes. I'm going to see if i can find the envelopes this week. The games will fit into the box that I cleared the stuffies out of. That frees up a whole shelf for the craft bins that I can't reach now. I am overly excited about having this space :w00t: In related news, I sorted the toy bins so that Tori's toys are lower and separate from the big boys' toys. Hopefully this will make it easier for her to access her toys and play with them independently.
  4. I always went to Cartridge World when we had one and also a printer. They worked great.
  5. This thread is giving me all kinds of feelings. I cook mostly vegan, one dish meals. Mostly asian foods. The weird stuff that I have to travel 60 miles to get ingredients for. There is no possible way to discreetly not eat the icky part of my food :crying: We do have rice, and pasta. So at least there's that. Oh, but it's whole grain pasta and brown rice, so maybe even that is weird. I do bring a dish most of the time, just to be sure there is something yummy on the table for myself. And it is usually quite popular. And everyone is always so surprised that it's good. :confused1: Maybe my kids friends will never eat here :sad: Unless they love thai food. :drool5:
  6. I love Sweet Tomatoes for a quick lunch out. It's a salad bar, so maybe not take out exactly. Thai. Pizza, if I have to feed the kids on the cheap. I like to buy fruit, bread, and cheese for a picnic.
  7. I have 16 more years to go. I'm already not involved in the community-such as it is- and I can't imagine spearheading anything, ever again. I am planning to go back to work in a few years, but in social services of some kind. Not in any form of education.
  8. I think it's a good idea, but I asked Ben, who is also a December birthday. He says no. "It feels wrong to me." So I guess ask him and see what he thinks.
  9. I'm almost done. I dropped off 6 large bags of clothes and books at Goodwill last week, and I have 2 more in my car for a friend along with a couple of small appliances. I might regret getting rid of so many boy pants. I let the older boys sort their own and I didn't check before donating. I may be rebuying pants this winter. The last thing I need to go through is toys. Ugh I've done less than half. We don't have tons, but what we do have doesn't see a lot of use. Luna has outgrown most of her baby toys. It will be good for her to have more suitable playthings.
  10. Not necessarily. I'm sure that the families who are not big into outside activities aren't posting here. You and your children may not need lots of structured outside activities. Or they may not be available to you. That's fine, too.
  11. I keep my budget for my spending because I do most of the day-to-day spending. Grocery shopping, home repairs, kids' activities, outings, clothes. All me. D buys his food for his breakfast and lunch. Rarely he buys clothes for himself. He will sometimes buy treats for us. He pays the monthly bills. But most of the spending decisions are mine. I am tracking my spending just to see how much I spend and where it goes. We spend less than D earns, so I don't really have an upper limit. I can spend what I want. But it helps me to know for sure how much that is when making decisions like do we buy a zoo membership, or should I take the kids out to eat? If I know I have been spending a lot, I will forgo extras, but if I'm under budget, I can do something a little pricier without guilt. I am baaad at keeping track of things, so this is mostly theoretical, but this is my goal in budgeting.
  12. We alternate, so only two kids have sports this season, but we will add more stuff after this is done. B 14-gaming club, coding, teen advisory board J 11-gymnastics, coding, Tween gaming, day camp J 8- soccer, coding, tween gaming, day camp W 6- junior coding, day camp T 2- Speech and developmental therapies, library playgroup and story times, rec center play group Additionally, we have a zoo membership, so we go often, middle kids have classes at Lego land a couple of times a year, we hike, and will be taking classes at Environmental Education Centers, we have field trips both as a family and through parks and rec, and we attend lots of local community events.
  13. Most of my kids have pretty bumpy heads. B didn't outgrow his hematoma for years. I don't think he still has it, though.
  14. I started my Monday at 1am and I'm just finishing up now at 8pm. I'm so tired I could cry. Luna and I are sick, as well as the older two boys. Little boys were sick last week, still coughing, but feeling better. I woke at 1 am with a searing sore throat and Luna was up most of the night with a cough. Big boys spent the entire day in bed, getting up breifly to fuel up on soup and then back to bed. I spent the morning cleaning in slow motion. I'm putting in a backsplash that is turning out fine, but it's giving me so much stress. It's the first permanent change I've made to the house and I'm freaking out a bit over it. I think I made a mistake and now it's too late to fix it. It;s not a big deal in the scheme of things, but I'm taking it hard. We have a lot of projects in the works, and now I've been sick for two weeks, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Anyway. Luna's teacher came today while I was scrubbing the old, dried detergent off the dryer, and I don't even remember what I was doing to the house. Something. She brought bubbles and we had fun playing outside. She always stays extra long and plays with all of my kids. It's always fun when she's here. I painted a thrifted cork board copper, and painted a chalkboard on the wall. Laundry, dishes, gumbo for dinner. Jay had his second soccer practice. he loves it. It's great. I have mostly decluttered my house. It's nice. Decorated for halloween. Back yard is almost cleared. Finally. One more bush to go. Front garden is torn up to get rid of the grass that grew up through the weed barrier. But I raked the rocks and mulch and it looks tidier again. I'm building benches in the dining room. Then I have to figure out how to build a table. That is going to be super cool. I'm learning how to lay tile. Not as hard as I thought. I put a floor in my bedroom, but it's not good. I'm thinking of replacing it with sheet vinyl. I picked out a few that I like. It sounds easy and the floor that I laid is actually harder than the sheet vinyl, so that should be fine. I wallpapered my shower, which is quite cool. Tried stenciling the living room floor. Didn't like it. Will paint the floor instead. I'm thinking light green. Chugging along. Making things happen.
  15. When I'm an emotional mess, I want to be mostly alone. Being angry at someone for being upset is a special kind of cruelty.
  16. Yes this. I'm not big on habits and commitments and most of the questions didn't seem to apply to me. I am also a questioner, which is accurate, and not a surprise at all.
  17. Caedmyn, you have all of my sympathy. All of it. I lived this for two years. It was awful. I can;t really give you any advice that hasn't already been given. I understand when you cannot get it together. But you can only do what you can do. D did put a lock on his office door. We ended up moving rooms to split up the kids and put his desk in our bedroom, removed most electronic devices, banned the kids from the tv, computer and video games. I have them tomato staked right now, on the floor next to me. I did briefly put two in school. In retrospect, I should have sent them longer. I wanted them home, and I wanted it to work, but I really wasn't ready. I now have childcare once a week. It's fun for them, and gives me a bit of a break to get things done. I had to ease up a LOT on my expectations. My inclination is to remove privileges, lock them down, tighten the reins. But we got to the point when there was nothing more to take away. There was no slack left to pull. I was policing them 100% of the time and we all hated it. Now, I give them more freedom, more permission to do things, and I have to make things I don't want them to have unavailable, everything else is fair game. Deep breaths. Do what you can. Be gentle with yourself and with your children. Give them extra hugs. Keep them so close. Wrap yourselves in love. Give them tasks to help each other and to help you. Let them take over any small chores that they are capable of doing. Big hugs and good luck. This time will pass.
  18. I disagree. I have used this method (more or less, this is my natural approach to parenting) successfully with all of my children, including one with SPD, one with ASD/ADHD, and one who is just downright defiant from age 1 forward. There is a lot of front loading and anticipation on the part of the parent, particularly in the early years. It can be hard, especially when your brain is fatigued. But it 100% works.
  19. On the occasions when I throw a party, I ask for no gifts. I don't spend very much, because I am super frugal, and I only spend what I can afford. Buying my kid a gift I have no place for, and don't want isn't helping my finances. It's presenting me with another problem to deal with.
  20. I'm agreeing with everyone else. Ca you make the quilt this week? This month? This year? Ever? I try not to hold onto things unless I can use them right away.
  21. Do you need it for a specific reason? Our last library system labelled each book with a grade level. I don't know what system it was based on. I just flip through a few pages and see if I think my kid can read it, until they are old enough to choose their own.
  22. This is infuriating and cruel. I hate the early academics push. it's stupid.
  23. The walls are Behr Fahrenheit . It's a small, low ceilinged living room with a (soon to be) glass tiled hearth (in neutral colors) under a black wood stove. This room opens into the kitchen painted in Valspar Endless Summer with sealed greenish gray concrete floor. There are sliding glass doors in this room, and a large window opposite, so lots of natural light. Moderate to heavy foot traffic. We live in the dusty desert, so I'd love something that hides the dust a bit.
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