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Indigo Blue

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About Indigo Blue

  • Rank
    Hive Mind Queen Bee
  • Birthday 01/19/1964

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Interests
    cycling, hiking

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  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Occupation
    Bookkeeper

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  1. There's no one I personally hate. There are evil people in history that I loathe and could probably say it's the equivalent of hate. But, personally, in my life, I don't hate anyone. There are those whom I dislike, and there are those I don't trust. There is a sister in law who has caused a lot of hurt. There are some that are close to the family that have caused a lot of hurt. There are people who have hurt my sons in the past. I have strong contempt for some of them. I don't think I can say that I hate them. There is a person in my family who often claims to hate. Especially a certain political figure. It's stated over and over, and we are all tired of hearing it.
  2. Thanks. It's good to hear that it was prickly and I'm not just imagining it. Sending funny things we find online is just something we do to each other all the time. That's why it kinda of stunned me. This was a musical performance that was especially stunning and showed immense talent. The person to whom I sent it is musical and was impressed. So, ....whatever. Sometimes they just get in these "moods", which is so baffling to me. I could talk about this with the person. I have before and have gotten sincere apologies. But it just happens again. In my mind, I wonder how can you say something like this and NOT know you are being yucky? Anyway, I think I'll say ouch next time......or be a duck, which I often do anyway. Sigh.
  3. Thank you, Scarlett. I think "ouch" is a great way to respond. It gets the point across, but it's not going to make things worse. Would you mind deleting your quoted post? I need to delete the whole thing later. Thanks!
  4. I've always read or been told to use a carrier oil. If it doesn't seem to bother you, though, maybe it's okay? I think some of them would be pretty strong if applied straight and could cause irritation. I don't want to mess with carrier oils and lavender is my favorite, so i just use straight from the bottle. It's easier. 🙂
  5. And this reminds me of the time when I watched a pair of Eastern Phoebes raise a nest of babies over my back porch light, only to have a stupid black snake (I know, I know, they have to eat, too) crawl up the wall and get them all. There was nothing I could do, so I just sat outside in my pajamas and squalled. Those poor mama and daddy birds were beside themselves with despair and they thought I could do something to help. And that reminds me of the time a three-foot black snake got in my car and was crawling up the side of the door while I was driving......
  6. Agreeing, Tanaqui! My dh accidentally knocked a nest over recently. We were selling a canoe and there was a low nest in the upside-down stern. I'm so quiet and easy-going mostly, but I had to come out of myself and demand that the canoe must be put back in place until the birds were gone. I was like, no, no, no, just......no. Put. It. Back. Put. It. Back. I had to put the birds back in the nest. Mama later came back and was feeding them. They all made it safely out of the nest when they were ready, and then, and only then, was the new canoe owner allowed to claim his canoe. I stomped my foot down on that one, lol. And no, birds don't abandon their young if they "smell" your scent.
  7. If you only buy one thing, just get a bottle of lavender. You can dab a bit on your wrists for a natural, non=toxic, wonderful-smelling scent. You can put a dab on your pillow (just a dab) and fall asleep breathing the relaxing scent. Unlike other oils, you can use it on bare skin (if you determine you don't have an allergy or a problem with using the lavender). You can put a few drops on a cotton ball and put it in a drawer. And I kid you not, that stuff is amazing on a minor burn. If you burn yourself on a hot pot, run cold water over and apply some lavender. It takes out the heat. It's also great for almost immediate relief from a fire ant bite. It's amazing, really. I've tried this myself and it really works. A lot of oil stuff is hoo-ja-boo, but the things I've posted so far are safe and useful. I know you have the new kitty, so be careful if you consider a diffuser. Some will convince you these are safe for cats, but there really is no supporting research and kitties are so much more prone to suffer from toxicity from oils. Even if someone says they diffuse around their cat all the time, please be careful. You can do your own reading about it. Lavender is supposedly safe around cats, but you still shouldn't slather it on you and then pet your kitty. They'll groom themselves and ingest it. I keep mine tightly capped and out of reach of my kitty. But lavender is okay if you use good judgment and don't use large amounts. It's one of the safer ones. So, I think lavender is a good choice if you just need a good idea of something to buy. I have a friend that puts a few drops of peppermint oil in a small spray bottle with water and uses it as a cooling spray. It doesn't do anything magical. It just feels nice when it's hot. 🙂 I personally am very careful about getting peppermint oil around my cat, though. Enjoy the party, but if it's the one I'm thinking of, beware of all the hoo-ja-boo! Some of it's true; some of it's quite a streeeeeetch. (And if you later decide you really like it, there are even better oils available from online companies and you don't have to buy from a MLM).
  8. Being passive aggressive and using "silent treatment" vs being silent and withdrawn because you are hurt and you want to go into self-protection mode while you process your emotions. That's what this post is about. So, if someone deals a cutting remark that you truly didn't deserve and you find yourself retreating to lick your wounds and by default are giving the silent treatment, how does this compare to using the silent treatment in a manipulative way? Okay, now that I've typed it out it seems like an odd question that makes no sense. Let me try this way: If the silent treatment is manipulative, how then do you deal with someone whose remarks hurt you ASSUMING THAT MATURELY TALKING TO THIS PERSON DOESN'T SEEM TO HELP? What if because of past history you've decided the best thing to do is hold it in until you feel better? Which means retreating for a few hours. So are you then being passive aggressive? Yes, someone recently said something to me and this is how I've handled it. In my mind I'm not being manipulative. I'm doing the only thing I can do at the time. I'm okay and this will pass, but it just got me thinking. Is temporarily withdrawing from someone because you are truly sad the same as punitively giving them the silent treatment? And, for those of you who have read my previous posts....no, this isn't coming from someone with NPD. Maybe a trait, but not NPD.
  9. My younger ds was homeschooled from 4th grade, and my older ds went to public school. I never thought I would homeschool. Older son did fine in public school in spite of the fact that our schools aren't great. He was happy and made good friends in kindergarten and ended up sharing a room with these same friends in college, while they all went into engineering together. I always thought that was remarkable. I had worked full-time up until he was born. However, I was always dissatisfied with the state of our schools. When younger ds went into elementary school, he did great over all but he expressed a lot of sadness to me because he wanted to be home. We began to run a home business when he was in third grade and I began part-time work from home. He had a good third grade year, but the thought of sending him to middle school gave me a queasy feeling. I hadn't liked what I had seen when our older son was there. I was shocked at how much things had changed since I had gone to that very same middle school. I dismissed the idea of schooling at home, thinking I could never do that. After we had been working in our home business for about a year, ds began to come home from school upset. It was in the last two months of fourth grade. He got along just fine with the other kids, with the exception of a few girls who seemed to be popular and favored by the teacher. He was coming home with stories of the things his teacher had said to him and other students. I remember having those mean teachers, and I thought ds would just tough it out and do just fine. But another part of me was thinking more of homeschooling. I began to think that I would let him finish grade five, and take him out before middle school. I knew I still had to convince dh. Somehow. I knew the idea of taking ds out of school and bringing him home would terrify dh. I began to read books on homeschooling. I was truly terrified of it. I researched and thought. Dh and I talked about it. During all this, ds was still coming home from school upset, sometimes crying. This had been going on for a few weeks. I knew from past experience with my older son that teachers that doled out treatment bordering on abuse were also very good at smoothing it all over with a parent and making it seem as if the child were exaggerating, etc. And even for more serious situations, meeting with the principal was an exercise in futility. It was very frustrating to me that a teacher could say things to students and behave one way around them, but change into an entirely different person when a parent walked into the room. I had witnessed it many times. I knew if I confronted her, she would just deny it all. BUT as I was trying to decide how to handle this situation with ds at school, I read a chapter in one of the books I was reading. The book was designed to be an encouragement to parents thinking of homeschooling. I don't remember the name of it. I came across one sentence that changed everything for me. One mom was stating how deciding to homeschool felt to her as if she were jumping off a cliff. Then, she says, she realized she had wings and could fly. That very night I was convinced. Dh and I talked more, and we sent in our letter of intent. It didn't have time to arrive in the mail before poor ds experienced nothing short of abuse directed at him by this teacher. I pulled up to get him from school one afternoon. He got into the car and began sobbing. His story broke my heart. Ds was one of the smart kids in class. He was a bit wiggly, but didn't get into very much trouble. For some reason, this teacher chose to target him and another child in the class, also bright. In fact, this mom had called me to talk to me about it. She had gone to the school to work this out, and lo and behold, the teacher denied it all in the principal's office. Everything her daughter was saying was basically dismissed. I knew what she was describing was true because it was also happening to ds. I was just then beginning to realize that this was no ordinary "this year I got a bad teacher" thing. She was crossing lines. So, as we drove out of the school pick up line, he began to tell me what happened. She had called him a loser. She even did the letter L thing right above her head. And she did it along with those popular, favored girls. My bright, sweet, good-hearted son. We were out of gas and I drove past our house to the gas station. During that short 2 mile drive, I decided that today had been the last day of public school for ds. Before I got out to pump gas, I turned around to my sobbing son sitting in the back seat and told him he would never have to go there again and that we were going to homeschool. He was overjoyed. I later wanted to kick myself many times for not doing this much sooner. My husband never went to school when there was some sort of conflict to be resolved. The whole time both boys were there, it was left up to me to deal with often unreasonable school personnel. When I told him what happened, he said he'd take the next day off work and we'd go together to pull ds out. Coming from my dh, this was huge. We went straight to the principal's office the next morning and told her everything. Ds stayed with a very kind guidance counselor. Then they called the teacher in. When my husband was done, she was sobbing, and, of course, denied everything. The only thing I said to them was that they could take this information and do with it what they chose. They could ignore it, cover for one another, and dismiss it as it seemed customary for schools to do, or they could take it seriously and keep this teacher from harming other students. The choice was theirs. We informed them we were taking our son home. Our official homeschool documentation hadn't arrived, but their office had received our letter of intent. So I knew we were able to legally withdraw him from school. And we did. To this day, that teacher is working at the same school less than a quarter of a mile from our home. Our son had a wonderful homeschooling experience, and I was just amazed at how much better and thorough the curriculum was. At first I was so unsure of myself, but, by around grade 7, I had a plan all laid out for high school and was 100% certain that not only could we do it, but we could do it 100% better. We used Saxon for math and A Beka for language arts. We did some IEW for writing some years instead of A Beka. It was excellent. Editing to add: I wanted to mention that we also used a lot of Lesha Myers for high school for essays, literary analysis, and research paper-writing. We loved everything we did by her. It's all very, very good. Ds enjoyed orchestra and art. He volunteered. He made a few good friends. He dual-enrolled in community college and transferred to a university. One of his homeschooled friends is there and they are enrolled in the engineering program together. They've had many classes together. Ds has a part time job on campus that he loves. He loves to go bowling and has joined a league off campus and has gotten quite good. It turns out that our son, home schooled with no other siblings at home, has a wonderfully confident personality and is an engaging public speaker. He has a paid internship this summer with a very major company. I think his experience with brick and mortar school has made him truly appreciate his home education. And that is our story.
  10. I have to agree. But I just think Aljandro is SO good at what he CAN do! I'm really shocked Jeremiah was voted off last night. I do think, too, that he's not pop starish, but he sure can sing. They really are all very good. Loved Laine's blue jacket and bright red guitar last night, lol. He did a good job.
  11. If you should decide you like the Blackstone portable griddle, you would also need the scraper tool to scrape the surface when cleaning. And two plastic squeeze bottles...one for oil, and one for water. The spatulas that are made for the griddle are very nice and stand up one their own so you just leave them standing on the griddle while cooking, if that makes sense. Here is a kit that has all these things. (Oil and water need to be kept right by the griddle when cooking. While cooking, the surface needs to be squirted with oil periodically. The water is used for cleaning. I use olive oil). https://www.amazon.com/Blackstone-Signature-Accessories-Restaurant-Tailgating/dp/B00DYN0474/ref=pd_bxgy_86_img_3/139-7203052-6789034?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00DYN0474&pd_rd_r=2b3fcc47-6f32-11e9-8571-61275becdf34&pd_rd_w=iROth&pd_rd_wg=usKME&pf_rd_p=a2006322-0bc0-4db9-a08e-d168c18ce6f0&pf_rd_r=BZFMK9Q7NFGMAPV1WDZ4&psc=1&refRID=BZFMK9Q7NFGMAPV1WDZ4
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