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Everything posted by Joker

  1. Yikes! How about under a thousand. The last time I bought a nice camera (I think it was an SLR?) was probably around 2005 and I think it was $300-400. It was amazing! I had no idea they were so much today. Hopefully we can get something pretty decent for less than a thousand.
  2. The only thing I can really think of is grocery stores. I do think it will be all self check out / scan and go. I think most grocery store employees will become those who are only shopping for customers picking up or having orders delivered. I guess with all the food delivery options I could also see most fast food type places becoming mostly take out/drive thru/delivery only (like so many pizza places are now). So many around us look empty much of the time due to the amount of delivery / drive thru happening anyway. I don't really think most things will change that much.
  3. What camera for an 18 year old who loves taking photos? Dd actually takes some amazing photos with her iPhone but would really like an actual camera. This won't be a Christmas gift but something for 18th bday/graduation in a few months. It's been so long since I've taken a photo with anything other than my phone that I don't even know what's out there. This dc is super good at taking care of expensive things so price isn't too big of a deal.
  4. Both of mine have changed their first names. One has done so legally and youngest will do so next year. It was easier than I thought it would be. The first few months were tough to always remember but now I always think of them with the new names. Oldest changed his because he's transgender but he kept his very feminine middle name because it's a family name. I didn't ask him to do so but he wanted to. Youngest just really doesn't like their name and, honestly, the name they picked suits them better.
  5. Honestly, OP, I feel you are the one reading into things here. I'm a bit baffled. I don't think anyone is being harsh with you or thinking you are bashing one way or the other. I saw many, myself included, just trying to figure out your definition of fully launched / fully independent as not everyone agrees to what that is. You seem to think the definition is clear but it isn't.
  6. So, are they fully independent if I still pay for those things but they don't NEED me to do so? I guess I'm a bit confused too as I don't agree with the above. I'm going to continue to help because I can not because they need me to.
  7. I'm one who doesn't tie being independent to be fully paying for their own things. Dh and I talk often about how we plan to financially help out dc in ways our parents weren't able. We don't want it to be as hard for them as it was for us and we have the means to help. Oldest is in an off campus apartment at college and paying for all of his rent and utilities with what is left of his scholarship after tuition. He could pay for all of his own groceries with money he's saved but I want him to use that for fun money (which he rarely does) so I give him a gift card every month for groceries. I would think a few years after college they will be able to fully support themselves but we will still give gifts for things here and there.
  8. We had the same problem. We switched to a Hamilton Beach and only use distilled water now. Ours has been going strong for about three years now with no issues.
  9. Our tree has a star. I used to like angels as a topper but when our last one broke I couldn't find another I liked.
  10. She sounds a lot like my mom before she divorced my dad. There was no affair. My mom went from her parents' home to her first husband's home very young. He physically abused her and she ended up back at her parents. About two years later, she married my dad. She never lived on her own. He was six years older and had done a lot of living and partying, especially while in the military. When we were all older, mom was ready to live that part of her life but dad had been there / done that. They divorced, she was on her own for the first time, and was happy again. She eventually remarried and has been with him over 20 years (about as long as she was with my dad). It took us kids a bit to be OK with mom again because it did seem out of nowhere and cruel. But in the end, my parents were friendly again and all was OK. Hope your friends have a better outcome.
  11. I don't get the outrage. If I was the type to blow two grand on an exercise bike, I would totally be happy with that for a gift. I often ask dh for gifts that others think are wrong to be given as such though. 🤷‍♀️
  12. Have you looked into any local churches that might have a community center/gym? Dh and I pay an annual membership fee (which is cheap) to a local one we don't attend just for the indoor track and equipment during the cold months. No music or craziness and it's only a few minutes away.
  13. Yeah, I had a grandfather who was this awful. I remember my dad talking with us when we were young and saying we never had to see that man again. My dad would because it was his dad but it was fine and normal for us to want nothing more to do with him. We didn't have other medical and extenuating circumstances though so I feel so bad for the OP.
  14. Joker

    No text

    I'm so sorry. I will say I was an awful person when my dad died. Dh once told me that the fact we didn't divorce that year meant nothing could split us up. It was awful. A few years later I had a miscarriage and dh's brother died. He didn't leave because we packed up the kids and all went together but neither of us was there for each other the way we wanted or hoped to be. It took time and realizing each of us was grieving and needed to be able to do so. It wasn't easy but we made it through. We are closer now than we were then but it took work. And counseling. And learning to say the hard stuff and trust it will be OK. Again, I'm so sorry. I hope you take it easy on yourself and know it's ok to feel what you feel right now.
  15. I grew up in Texas where alcohol laws are pretty lax. Heck, my parents could (and did) buy us drinks legally when we were out. I think I had my first margarita at a favorite Mexican restaurant when I was about 15. So, it's common in my family. I didn't allow my own dc to even sip drinks though until about 16. Youngest has zero interest at 18 and I know oldest and his friends share a bottle of wine now and then at his apartment but he doesn't seem overly interested. I wouldn't care if someone offered but I would be upset if they were pushy.
  16. Someone here gave a heads up last year and that's how I found the app. It's the only meal planning service I've ever consistently used so I thought I'd pass it along this year. The annual membership is 50% off so it's just under $20.
  17. I don't expect a thank you in that situation and I think it's only happened rarely. It's awkward because I then say something like, "No, thank you" because I am definitely the one more appreciative when someone completes a home job for me. I've never looked at it as me giving someone work but rather someone doing something for me I don't know how to do or don't have time for. I view it as them helping me and not the other way around. Maybe I'm weird.
  18. I was talking with dh about this and I do feel that so much of this could be attributed to family culture as much as anything else. Dh's family growing up was so different from my own and we came up with something in the middle. Dh's thinks his parents were too hands off and I feel my mom was too involved at times. But we are super close with both of our kids, including college boy, and that hasn't changed just because he now has his own apartment. We're actually driving up to see him tomorrow since he's only an hour away. I asked if he had time this weekend and he said he would like to see us Sunday. He's always up for a free meal. 🙂 Also, I did get a bit defensive when a poster said that me looking at concert/speaking events for my college kiddo was weird. I actually find it weird that anything would think so and I realized I do the same thing for my mom. Especially during the holidays, I always look for things I know she would like to see with us and buy an extra ticket for her. I don't think it's any different doing the same for ds. He's always been super appreciative and he's seen those types of things all on his own as well. It's not like he's never gone to a concert/speaking engagement that I didn't find and facilitate. He just is able to do more of those things because I keep an eye out.
  19. I'm not sitting at home worrying about these things. I'm also not ignoring the things I see when I hop on FB for five minutes and there are things there my dc might enjoy. Heck, my mom always tags me in things she sees on there I might like. I'm not looking it up anymore than she is but we see it. I guess this is just another version of mommy wars though. I'm good with where I stand so I'll leave the thread. I find this kind of nitpicking quite ridiculous though.
  20. Those FB college parent pages are wild. I am so not controlling compared to many of them. I mostly use that page to find out about guest speakers and concerts! Ds recently heard Tim O'Brien speak and was able to meet him and have one of his books signed. Both dc were able to see their all time favorite band in concert too and it's an older group who rarely tours. That's all I use that page for though and it's been awesome for that. Ds would never make time to keep up with that stuff but I'm happy to help him enjoy it all. Life is short.
  21. My ds has started letting his room mate cut his hair. 🤦‍♀️ It's not great but he's fine with it and he's not asking for any help (even when I've asked) so I'm letting it go. Honestly my ds has grown tremendously independent over the past few months. It's like he's finally starting to figure it out. I don't think he would have though without the help he received up till then.
  22. I don't understand why some think continuing to help our college aged dc when they need it means we have no time for ourselves. Dh and I have been taking a lot of time for ourselves for about two years now even though youngest is only a senior. Both dc have able to stay home alone (when ds is here) and take care of themselves, the house, and the animals. They don't need us 24/7. I don't think any of us discussing helping out our college kids are on the phone with them all day or every day. Dh and I are already planning for next year when both dc will be at college. We've planned several trips and dh is going to let his company pay for him to go back to school. Continuing to help our college aged dc when they need it doesn't really interfere with anything. It's what they need so we do it but little by little they are taking on more and more. I have zero doubt by the time they are done with college they will be just fine on their own.
  23. Both of mine started seriously utilizing planners in the 6th grade and it took several years of me helping them plan and making sure they followed through for it to stick. Oldest is a sophomore in college and spends a few hours the first weekend after classes start planning everything out. I did help him a lot his first year though in regards to planning and figuring the basic stuff out. I never helped with actual course work though. This year he's rarely asked for help on anything so I don't think I ruined him. He's doing really well and some just need help a bit longer than others. Youngest is a senior and taking classes at a CC before following oldest to our state uni. I anticipate helping her quite a bit that first year of two as well, especially since she has ASD. She's done well planning things out so far this year too though. As far as work place stuff goes, project managers are a huge thing everywhere dh has worked as well. Dh is a director with a large company and checks in daily with his direct reports on what each needs to make a priority and when things are due. They definitely are not left to figure it out on their own. That's been the norm everywhere he's worked the past 20+ years.
  24. I live pretty much in my Birkenstocks. I did try one pair of Altras for just one day and my Achilles hurt for at least a week. It was awful. I guess I'll keep looking for shoes. I usually just go with Nike when the weather is too bad for my Birks.
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