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Everything posted by Rosika

  1. This is my love language also. I obviously can't speak for your husband, but I will say that *for me* it doesn't have to be anything expensive or big. In fact, much like happysmileylady says ... it's more about the gift being personal to me that makes me feel loved. The example of the phone charger was perfect - the gift is the vehicle that shows the love of someone who is hearing me, and anticipating on my behalf or meeting a need or just appreciating me/what I do. Some examples from my own home: I was up all night with a teething baby - my husband brings me a large coffee and donut I am struggling with Son #3 so Son #1 (who is away at college) sends me a "Thinking of you" card Son #3 is doing school at the library because I want to punch his face, and he brings home a DVD he thinks I'll like, as a peace-offering. Son #2 hears me tell husband that I have to wash the car this weekend. He surprises me by doing it himself, inside included. Best ever! More struggling with Son #3 and my ex-husband takes me to dinner. Taco Casa, total bill $4. The gift was letting me vent w/o "helping." LOL Son #3 sees me stuck in the chair with the sick, nursing baby, and asks if I need anything. The gift of noticing I'm stuck was free, and the offer appreciated. Daughter folds the laundry for me so I can take my second long bath in a day. Sons #3 and #5 (the baby) are eventually going to kill me LOL. The bigger gifts are nice, too, don't get me wrong! The book, the (nice) dinner out, the flowers ... but *for me* the thought behind the gift is what makes me feel most loved. The tangible gift is the gravy. I love gravy, but it's not the only important part! Good luck to you both, what a very sweet thing for you to be doing!
  2. Peace, strength and every bit of love in the world be with you on this journey. It looks like you have a great support system and a very candid personality, both of which will be blessings along the way.
  3. I know that some, maybe all?, American Airlines receive company communications re: sex trafficking. It's good to see that this awareness is paying off, and that this agent trusted her gut. What a happy ending! If those were my daughters, I'd have to chain them up next to me for the rest of their adolescence, ... how scary.
  4. In a situation like this, we'd ride in your car and I'd treat to the event or the lunch/dinner surrounding it :001_tt1: ... you fly, I buy kind of thing. I honestly don't mind people driving my car but I'm surprised that about half of the time people will take me up on it. I don't even like driving my husband's car, or my kids' cars!! Murphy's Law being what it is, and being cursed with it and all ... I totally get what you're saying! LOL
  5. My two oldest sons went straight from (public) high school to their first-choice colleges on scholarships. My ex-husband was AD and didn't go to college until our 30s. Those situations were very straight forward. I need advice on how to handle my third son's situation. He's graduating from (home) high school and head to the National Guard. I'm graduating him a year early to do so. He'll do BCT, language school, AIT and then come back for college. This puts him attending college in Fall 2020, which is on track with his peers and the same term he'd be entering college if he had not skipped his senior year to go into the Guard. :willy_nilly: Should I have him applying to colleges now, and then defer admittance? Should we just wait for him to apply until he gets back in 2020? Does it not really matter? Does it vary depending upon the school?
  6. Is Racko/Rack-o still around? Really, at this age my kids loved plain old card games - rummy, poker, gin, all the old people standards!
  7. Gosh, no, that makes me even more uncomfortable. I'm an awful driver LOL. I always offer the use of my car, if the other person wants to carpool and do the driving. I'd rather you drive my car, then me drive you in it. (Lots of issues over here!!) About half of the people take me up on it! I especially hate driving unfamiliar places. Downtown parking about kills me. I don't need the audience :lol: . Sometimes convenience trumps my "issues" though, and something like what you describe (3 hours RT) would definitely be the time for that. Maybe she's doing a cleanse and has gas. Maybe she's binge-listening to Fifty Shades before she goes to see the newest release. Maybe she's just weird. I am. I always think I can shelf it for the required amount of time (say, field trip + carpool) but the closer it gets to the event, the more nervous I get about really being able to behave like a normal person. Your husband's benefit is a pretty sweet deal. I'm envious! ... almost envious enough to ride with you if we lived in the same town! (We can take my car, of course!) :thumbup:
  8. That's a bummer! I usually don't agree to ride with other people because ... um, control issues LOL ... but I have mentioned that I have "to meet someone after" and much of the time it's very boring but a "while I'm on this side of town" kind of thing. Think: meeting with the tax guy, lunch with that cousin I always put off because we're never on this side of town, itty lie but stopping at the used bookstores that I rarely make it to because they're on this side of town ... I'm sure she and her daughter are looking forward to your field trip together :) it seems like she'd feel comfortable canceling if she truly were more focused on her other plans. I hope you guys enjoy the aquarium!
  9. :grouphug: Five boys, one girl here. I had four boys. A surprise pregnancy five years later gave me the sweetest daughter. Another surprise pregnancy 11 years after her, and I dared to get my hopes up that she'd have a sister of her own. I almost didn't find out the gender for fear of being disappointed. Add to that the fact that, like you, I knew that having a boy locked me in to using a name I didn't love (or even like very much.) But I knew I had to find out the gender so I could have time to deal with the potential disappointment, and I'm glad I did. My 1 year old is a boy who has a name I hate. I refuse to call him by his formal name, and the older kids are smart enough to go along with me in calling him by a nickname. So are my in-laws. The only one who uses his "guv'mint name" is his father. (And to be fair, this is my sixth child but his first - and expected only - biological child. He wanted our son to be the fifth generation to honor a stupid family tradition they have, and I get that, so I caved. Maybe not so graciously. And I'd do it again, but I still hate the name LOL.) All that to say I truly understand your situation, and you have my complete empathy. Congratulations on your baby, and (((((hugs))))) as you process everything.
  10. This was going to be my suggestion. My SIL is a professor and says this is her biggest struggle with freshman. I know my sons have also had this problem, even the son who was very organized and attentive to detail. He was just used to more hand holding than college gave him (he graduated from public high school.) My third son is a junior this year. What I did differently was - very time consuming and a giant headache LOL - but to prep him better, especially since he'll be graduating from home school, was to create syllabi for each of his classes. In some cases it was just re-writing a curriculum's material (e.g., MP's Rhetoric schedule and intro from the TM) but in other cases it was scheduling out every assignment and test date so that everything was in his syllabus. I anticipated questions within the syllabus - exceptions, extra credit, grading rubrics, etc. I printed copies for each of us. If he asked me a question that was answered in the syllabus, his "punishment" was to buy me lunch. LOL I ate well the first few months of fall semester!! I have ADD and really struggle with schedules and planning. It took me the better part of summer to organize this, and a lot of patience from my family. But it's been great because everything is mapped out. I'm mainly counting his grade - tests, a few papers, etc. I look over the daily work and give a participation grade but that's mostly for his own benefit to do, as prep for quizzes and tests and papers. I record his grades right on my copy of the syllabus. I suggest he do, too, but he hasn't. And that's a shame, because I noticed I gave him a zero for something he did turn in. He didn't catch it. (My goal is to have him stay atop of his grades, too.) Spring has gone much better. He's consulting his syllabus a lot more, and is figuring out deadlines. Because of my ADD, we've never really had "due dates" or a firm schedule. This didn't impact my older two because they graduated from public high school, but I worried it'd affect my third son who will graduate from home school.
  11. I'm not sure this would work, but I'll post it here so you have an option (for World History) - http://www.rasonlineacademy.com/store/#!/Great-Books-&-Socratic-Discussion/c/8803471/offset=0&sort=normal It's through Schola Rosa, which runs on a 3 year history cycle and is 100% Catholic. They have a mix of live classes, independent study, and co-op. The link above is to the live classes for their history/literature program, called Traditio Nostra. My son did two years of this through a co-op. It was "okay" ... I dropped out of the co-op because I grew frustrated with other aspects of the Schola Rosa program, but it absolutely met my more immediate need of outsourcing history for a challenging child. So I don't regret using it, but once my child became human again enough to where we could work together, we moved on to greener pastures. I find the website a bit confusing, but if you poke around some you'll be able to find a list of what is included in the Traditio Nostra class. There is an Intermediate Level (7-9th grade) and an Advanced Level (10th-12th grade) and it's straightforward - read excerpt of primary source, answer questions, attend online lecture. ** I tried Homeschool Connections. I'm a fan of the program, but I did the cheaper $300/recorded version and my son lacked the self-discipline to keep up with the classes. He did fine in the one live class I registered him for. I plan to re-visit HC with my next student, who is more disciplined, once she hits high school. My son loved Phillip Campbell's classes, and often watched the lectures (in between Youtube sessions :glare: ) ... even classes he wasn't officially taking (for credit by me) ... he just didn't do the work, even when I paid for instructor grading.
  12. My daughter studied this at co-op last year and really enjoyed it! The teacher was part Japanese so the kids (and I!) learned a lot from that perspective which we weren't very familiar with before the class. It was a semester class broken down into units. She didn't have a syllabus, but based on her emails here is a loose list of what was covered: SEPT: Who's Who of WW2 - project: make cards using her list of important people - they played Matching and quizzed each other with them OCT: European front - project: design a board game representing the war in Europe. Most looked like Axis v. Allies knockoffs LOL NOV: Heroes of WW2 - project: design a 12 month calendar of war heroes, w/ material from Medal of Honor curriculum (NOV 11 is Veteran's day) DEC: Pearl Harbor - project: watch Tora! Tora! Tora! and learn about Japanese culture to understand kamikaze strategy (DEC 7 is Pearl Harbor day) FEB: Japanese-American interment - project: prep for evacuation "only what you can carry" and take the loyalty test (FEB 19 is an important day) MAR: Navajo Code Talkers & Tuskogee Airmen - project: cryptology + Propaganda study (Germany, Japan, America) - team project: write and film a propaganda commercial APR: On the Home Front - project: Victory Garden luncheon and dance Final project was to create a young-child-friendly picture book of WW2 book using everything they learned. Some were digital, some were handmade. My daughter did an ABCs of WW2 book.
  13. I know what you (meant)! LOL I think things are more like a pressure cooker these days, because I remember things the way you do and my college aged kids tell me the same that yours are telling you. It reminds me of the joke where a child tells his parent that school was easier for (the parent) because there was less history to learn in the "old days" :)
  14. Would she be open to, and able to find, peer editing? Just a quick meet at a coffee shop, spend maybe 30 minutes with one or more peers going over each others' papers? This is what my third son does. My older two had no problems with me editing their work, SO LONG AS I didn't go overboard as I'm wont to do. I had to really limit myself to the important grammatical and formatting things and not overly critique the content. I had to ease up. I wish you had a reliable adult. I'm the go-to adult for one of my son's friends, who attends the local private school. I work with him and also keep in regular touch with his teacher (who has since referred me to some of her other students, which has turned into a nice side hustle!) This student cannot work with his own mother, which is funny since she and I went to the same schools and have the same critiques and criticisms for his papers. When it comes from me he's just more receptive to it. It sounds like you've tried this before but have been let down by unreliable people. Is there a barter situation you could do, to keep people more accountable and reliable? I used to tutor another friend's child before dinner, which my kids and I were always invited to stay for. That was a sweet deal for me! LOL Might the teacher be open to pre-grading your daughter's work? The teacher at my son's friend's school has a standing offer to look over anything that is turned in early - if they want feedback (which is not officially graded since it's being submitted early), they just have to give her 24 hours turnaround time. That translates to 2-3 days early if they want to be able to fix any feedback she gives. I'm not sure if that works with the schedule of your daughter's class, but it may be worth asking.
  15. Mine are in the -10 and -12 range. I buy the 1.74 and just budget for my glasses like it's a damn wedding or something every year. What helps me with the pressure on my nose and temples is to rotate my frames. So when it's important that I see (driving, working) I wear my most current prescription. When I'm just doing dishes or something less important I switch out for my "last year's" frames. The frames are different styles and "wear" differently on my face. I purposely choose frames that differ from year to year - some with nose pieces, some without, etc. It sucks, but it keeps me from getting headaches or face aches. Good luck to you, I wish there was a magic fix for us both!
  16. This is so funny because of how true it is!! With my first kids I tried reading in bed but that didn't work, and the tv distracted them. So i just lied there listening to books on audio, or to CDs. With my 3-4 I had a laptop I could sometimes get away with using and perusing forums. With my 5th I had a portable DVD player because the laptop was too bright. Our library had a ton of DVDs and I'd take out ten a week. Now with my 6th I have a handy smartphone and iPad :) way less clunky, way easier, way more versatile!
  17. I slept with all of my kids for a loooooooooong time. I had four boys in six years who eventually were happy to sleep with (just) each other (not with me), but by that time we had added a fifth child. She and I shared a bed until she was 11, which was the same month I brought home surprise baby #6. He was an unplanned c-section that did a real job on me, and I started sleeping in a recliner (with the baby, who is now 1 and still sleeping with me - though now in our bed!) I love it. My ex-husband snored and slept in his own room anyway. He'd come snuggle with us in the mornings when he was home, and he'd lay down to help get everyone to sleep. It was our family time, really. We were usually able to sneak out of the room after an hour or so. I think having so many bodies in the bed made it hard for the sleeping ones to notice when the adults left. My current husband didn't grow up sharing a room or a bed, but he loves it. For now. His/our kid is only one and still nurses through the night, so the baby is not in the kicking, spastic, hog the bed phase of things yet! LOL
  18. This is such wise advice! My first meeting with a lawyer turned from consult into therapy (unintentionally and at cost to me!) It was just so different and freeing to have somebody removed from the situation just LISTENING, and I went way off-tangent and gave too much detail in answering her questions. She tried to steer me back on track but it was just one of those things where the emotions came bubbling up like lava from a volcano and were unstoppable. A free 30 minute consult turned into almost 90 minutes of (pay) appointment. I had already set up multiple consults. The remainder of consults I came with an outline, two printed (one for me, one for the lawyer) with the highlights of what I needed information on and the gist of our financial and home situation (dates he left, etc.) That was at the first lawyer's suggestion. LOL
  19. Worn a tampon or cup. I can have s-e/x and give birth to babies, but something about those two other things makes me question my anatomy's ability to handle STUFF. Eaten shrimp or catfish.
  20. It's not so much the money, though that's important (IMO) - it's the other things that go along with the paycheck. Suddenly, instead of him covering kids' medical bills it's split 50/50. 50% from your paycheck is likely a bigger chunk than 50% from his, but a good lawyer will argue that if you're both employed then you're both equally responsible for these expenses. Same goes for his covering health insurance. If your job offers it, you might be mandated to cover all or half of the cost of health insurance. If you switch jobs, this could hurt you should you move to a job that doesn't offer it - you'd have to scramble to cover your share, or take him back to court. $$ It's important to you that he get one because it starts his slippery slope to his ultimate goal. I don't know what HIS ultimate goal is, but a lot of times it's either taking away the kids from the mother or hitting the mother where it hurts (her finances.) It's another way of forcing dependence upon them, if not (you) financially then the kids' needs because a dad who has always worked will generally out earn a mom whose been home for some years.
  21. It may be that he's thinking of the bigger picture, ... which he has the luxury of doing from his position (whereas you are more like a deer in headlights trying to make a million decisions in a single second with all of the stress in the world clouding your ability.) Bigger picture: I don't know you, so this may be off base ... but if you're dependent then you've been out of the game for awhile. I don't know what skills or career you had prior to home schooling, but likely you're first go-to job is going to be something very basic. Retail, sales, waitress, daycare - something that's easy to get in the door with a gap on your resume, and while you sort out your life. The problem is that these jobs can be inflexible. It sets you up to be unavailable, to rely more heavily on him (which could also mean his new girlfriend, his parents, his family, etc.) for childcare. That sets him up to negotiate for less child support (if any), and - if he wants - full physical custody. Bigger picture: apartment in a bad neighborhood. This is another set-up. What he says is "okay" now may soon become "I fear for the children's safety" and again ... sets him up to keep the kids more frequently. This is especially true if he's staying in the family home. It's an important reason for you to NOT MOVE OUT until you've settled this issue. (A) You move out and "abandon" the kids, then (B) you live in a sketchy neighborhood that he's not comfortable sending the kids to. Before you know it, he's got more custody and say than you are probably comfortable with. Bigger picture: leave them home all day. in an apartment in a bad neighborhood. while you're at a minimum wage job. Sister, please :wub: he's taking you for a fool and taking advantage of your state of mind. Don't make the mistake of thinking you guys are friends who will work this out nicely. It may be that you can be friendly, it may be that this works out nicely, but right now what he's trying to do is set you up to fail so that he can swoop in and impress your friends, your families, your judges, and your children. Don't fall for it. "Mommy wants you to stay home all day in that scary neighborhood, but wouldn't you rather stay here AT HOME?" Or "Judge/Mom/MIL, Joyce Gripe moved out into a neighborhood I'm not comfortable leaving the kids in, and she wants them to stay home all day while she's wiping toddler butts at City Daycare Center. I feel I deserve full custody while she sorts out her life." Just don't do it. Don't fall for it. Don't even look deeply into anything he suggests because none of it will make sense to you. It's not supposed to make sense, it's supposed to confuse you into thinking he's an idiot so that you're distracted. Just assume it's a trap. It may not always be one, but you're wise to assume one is and to proceed appropriately. This is especially true if you left under circumstances that warranted a women's shelter IMO.
  22. In Texas, home schools are considered to be private schools. And yes, you could absolutely do that. Many of the Protestant private schools in my area started exactly like that. (The Catholic schools had to go through their own channels for supervision/approval, but not those of the government.) It's legal here to home school someone else's children.
  23. That's enough time to do a little of each! I have the next six hours free, plus two hours this morning. I spent two hours deep-cleaning the refrigerators/freezers, washing down cabinets, re-organizing drawers, etc. I wouldn't want to do the entire house. I'm lazy and truth be told if I spent my entire free time like that I'd end up resentful of the people I live with who make the job harder because of how they are. I can tackle one area without feeling like I'm Cinderella and am wasting an opportunity to do something FOR me (on a different level.) Right now I'm taking an hour break for tea and this week's episode of Grey's Anatomy on the DVR. After that I plan to spend the next two hours doing annoying tasks (laundry, grading school) with some Netflix documentaries running in the background. After that I'm going to take a long, hot shower. I'm going to do the Big Maintenance stuff that I've put off because of winter and having a 1 year old. LOL I'll put on my ratty-but-comfy warm robe and sit in front of the fire, assuming it hasn't gone out while I was in the shower. I have to write a eulogy but in your position it'd be a great time to write goals and such until everyone got home. Enjoy your day!
  24. Your Texas is showing! :001_wub: I agree with this. I'm also in Texas. LOL
  25. Never heard of this, but took the quiz. I'm am INTJ/Obliger. It fits me.
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