Jump to content



  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Rosika

  1. I have the voice of a little kid. More than once I've been asked to get my parents. :001_rolleyes: But I get it, whatever, they don't know. Except one lady kept insisting I was a child and repeatedly demanded that I put my parents on the phone, as if it was her personal mission to "out" any liars on the other end like she were the Cruella de Ville of Telemarketing. At first I reacted by trying to "prove" to her (in hindsight, I hate that I did that) but then I just told her I was hanging up. And I did, and I called my parents on another continent to complain about my stupid voice and - since I was on a roll - the short gene they had ALSO given me. LOL
  2. Congratulations on your hard work - what an exciting thing to do, to publish a book!
  3. This sounds like a great compromise. My son doesn't have Asperger's, but he's the kind of kid where I get your husband's point. This kid deserves to know all of the information beforehand so he can make good, informed choices ... but all that does in the short-term is give the child something to argue, complain about, or otherwise make us regret giving him the information in such advance. And it's almost like he then hyperfocuses on that one aspect he feels is unfair or arguable, and it's exhausting, frustrating, and distracts him from our REAL goal of moving him forward. With my son I have to do things on a graduated schedule. If it were he and I in your shoes, I'd have the "Come to Jesus" talk ASAP with the caveat that we'll check in again on April 7th. April 7th is when we'd disclose the internet thing. That gives your son a few weeks to let the new plan marinate and to take steps in the direction he wishes to go ... but it also gives him a month to kick it into gear, if he flits away March. Good luck, OP.
  4. Body Hair: Natural vs. Removed Chili: Beans vs. No Beans Pet Names: People names are ok vs. People names are for people (Car) Blinkers: Always Use Them vs. Rarely Use Them Star Trek: Deep Space Nine vs. Next Generation Plane Passengers: Obey seat belt sign vs. Ignore seat belt sign PIN numbers: I Use a Birthday/Anniversary Date vs. Nope, I Use Something Else Zits: Pop 'Em vs. Ride 'em out Public Bathroom Habits: Hover vs. Sit Santa & Kids: harmless myth vs scarring lie Flossing: Daily vs. Crap, today is my dental appointment Dishwasher Loading: Pre-rinse vs. Stick right in Laundry: Thorough Sorting vs. All in one load Texting: All hours (it's like email) vs. Awake hours (it's like phone calls)
  5. Let me ask you about a project. I sat for an Eagle BOR last week, for a young man I know well. He's newly 16, very intelligent, a natural leader, and all around great kid/scout/person. He is the poster child for the Scouting program. I'm wondering if the fact that I know him is clouding my perspective on his project. Here it is: He was working with a local wildlife group that regularly offers this as an Eagle project. They gave the boy a written proposal to submit to BSA. He did tweak it to be more in his own voice. Then he built ten bat houses to set up in the city park. The group ordered pre-cut bat houses and delivered them to the boy. His parents paid out of pocket for the $900 in material costs, no fundraising was necessary. In one afternoon, this scout and three friends assembled the bat houses. On a second afternoon they used a power tool (drill) to secure the bat houses to posts. The wildlife group had previously poured concrete and prepared the lower half of the posts, so the scout needed only to assemble his parts (like putting together a fake Christmas tree, top part goes into bottom part.) And that's it. I feel like it was a box-checking project. If anyone is capable of executing a well thought out project, it's this kid. And he's the kind of kid you KNOW is going to be a leader in life, and this project could have really refined and honed his natural skills. But does that mean he should have to?? Am I holding him to a higher standard because i know him and what he's capable of? Honestly, this project (done this way) would disappoint me in anyone who did it, but I'd understand it coming from someone on the cusp of aging out or something. I'm especially disappointed because my son expressed an interest in doing this for his project, too. (But i'm not bankrolling him, so he'd at least have to figure out a fundraiser.) I will be disappointed in my son if he chooses this project. He's capable of more, too. He will age out this fall, but he still has time to get a "legit" project (IMO). Am I being stupid about this? I guess it boils down to "letter of the law vs. spirit of the law" for me. Maybe I need to get over it. I tend to get overly invested in my kids LOL. Tell it to me straight.
  6. Special Events are mostly about social time and fellowship, so this should be an easy requirement for her to do. We're doing our Boards of Review this month, and here are some of the projects the girls have done: Bowling Night, Skate Night Themed sleepovers - Twilight Princess Party, backyard camping Small (unit-only) parties - movie night, karaoke, charades, Olympics "watch" party Small (outside) parties - choir performance at senior center, cookie decorating with parish preschool Crafting parties - no-sew blankets, painting rocks to distribute around church lot Tailgate party and game for the parish school's homecoming game Afternoons outdoor - hiking, fishing,swimming, biking, BBQ, letterboxing, park day picnic Events for younger levels - spa day, scrapbook party for Tenderhearts (required for their level up award) My daughter and two friends planned a Field Day for the Pathfinders and Tenderhearts. Also, we hold two annual events for the express purpose of providing our girls this opportunity. You may consider suggesting it to your troop - the entire troop loves the "tradition" of annual events, and it makes an easier job for troop leaders (especially if there is high turnover, especially for unit leaders and advancement chair.) Our first annual event is a fall family camp out (typically planned by the PI/PAs). Our second annual event is a mother-daughter tea party (typically planned by Explorers with oversight by PI/PAs). Similar ideas best suited for troop support: Father-Daughter Dance, Parades (floats, walking in), sleepovers at zoo/baseball stadium/etc.
  7. :lol: I understand this completely! I think I'd throw myself a "one more promotion towards retirement" party - even if it's just a party with just me, a margarita, chips and salsa, and bad mariachi music playing at the local dive. I might even go so far as to allow my graduate to treat me, whether or not he attended! LOL
  8. I have four boys who were born in six years, so we've run into this from the opposite side. We have a girl in our life who has functioned as an honorary "sister" or "cousin" ... she's always been (assumed) to be invited to anything our family does - especially parties. She and my older two were in (different) public schools. At my oldest's sixth birthday, she was the only girl present and also the only child who didn't attend my son's school. She's very social and aware, and easy to get along with. But the other 5-6 years olds were brutal to her!! The theme was something stupid, and not especially boy ... airplanes, I think? maybe rockets? ... but they were relentless about teasing her. She handled it pretty well because she's confident by nature. She thought they were weird to care that she was the only girl, or that a girl couldn't/wouldn't be interested in aviation/science. But it did eventually wear on her, because ... she was 5! I'm just picturing a party where your son, whom the hostess knows is learning how to handle his anxiety, in a situation where he may feel anxious. Or worse, where he may be fine until OTHERS who aren't as intuitive or kind CREATE an anxiety-filled environment. And I'm picturing someone who cares about you and isn't sure how to say, "hey, I don't want your son to freak out if the girls tease him about being the only boy or about doing the princess thing" ... because let's face it, not everyone is at the same level of enlightenment about these things. Sexism is still a thing and a young, anxious child isn't the best choice to send across the lines. The friend's inability to know how to proceed with this situation isn't necessarily reflective of her feelings about the friendship - some people love, and care, and just suck at knowing how to handle things! So they bury their heads in the sand and hope that everything just comes to pass. (OP, it sounds like you know this and I think I'm more addressing some of the other posts who think the hostess should've handled it differently. Yes, a heads up from her would've been ideal but what is normal for you is not her reality so she might be clueless how to handle anxiety in a friend.) If you can, I'd try to meet up with the girls tonight - just for a bit, maybe at the end. I'd spend a few hours alone, regrouping and recovering from the emotional fall our but I'd try to meet up with them for dessert at the end. Just for 30 minutes or so. You'll be more fresh and able to handle the conversation if it comes up, and it won't get more awkward with the passing of time. Sometimes the best way to heal is to face the thing head on and then move forward. I'd hope you could get in a few laughs unrelated to the party situation which might help ease away some of the feelings you're feeling on behalf of your son. Re-connecting is good for the soul and good for relationships. Once you work through yours, you can better help your son work through his. You sound like a loving mother and an understanding friend who values the people in your life. They're all lucky to know you!
  9. I had one son who did this, and he didn't have any problems with the sequence. My other three did the traditional sequence. But MP's opinion differs some. Especially see Rule #2 in their article: https://www.memoriapress.com/articles/how-teach-logic/ I decided that the MP article was the "ideal" and my son's approach was "my reality" so ... take that FWIW! :lol:
  10. I know about, but have never read, Beyond the Birds & the Bees by the Popcaks. I've heard it talked about on Catholic radio, and I have a few friends who read everything by this couple. It's written to the parents. In trying to remember the exact name, I just looked on Amazon. Read the reviews, especially the 3 star reviews, to see if it's a good fit for your parenting ideology. I used the book mentioned above by Laura Corin and Rosie. It's an entire series, with books aimed at different age groups. It is written to the kids. We read it together, every book beginning with the first one, which I think is 5 years old? As we aged into older books, there were topics covered in a way contrary to Church teaching (ma$turb@tion comes to mind, I can't remember if there were more ....) but it was a good conversation starter and way to introduce Church teaching in a gentle way. We hang with some hardcore Catholics who are all fire and brimstone, and with some super lax Catholics who openly oppose Church teaching, but we're somewhere in between. These books would have been taboo for the former and perfectly acceptable as-is for the latter. For me, we read the book in its entirety and added Church teaching where appropriate - to include the reminder that anytime one of the kids wanted to go to Confession outside of our normal routine, we'd take them with no questions asked, and also a refresher on washing sheets on hot and leave time for them to air-dry. Covering all bases! LOL Ascension Press has a Theology of the Body course for middle school students that might be good to include in a health unit.
  11. Rosika


    I lean towards "finish what you start" in which case, I'd have him go through to the BOR even if it means investing time into the BBQ. I'd try to look at it as something I was doing to "thank" the troop for the years we participated as opposed to something I was doing to "appease" the troop so I could get my BOR. But the fact that they're trying to hold his rank hostage by delaying the BOR??? I'm annoyed on your behalf. I'd take it as a sign from God and the Universe that I'm supposed to tell this troop where they can shove their BBQ and their BOR. With this twist to the story, I'd honor my son's wishes (be it to quit pre-BBQ or to see it through to the BOR).
  12. I hope she loves your gift! My daughter started her own at about the same age. Now she's 12, and her desire to write down inspiring or thoughtful things she comes across is still going strong. It's fun to go back even two years to her first entries, and see how her perspective has (or hasn't!) changed, and where she "was" at that point in her life. Her latest entry was yesterday. We saw The Greatest Showman after reading comments here about it. She enjoyed the movie, but said the PT Barnum quote at the end was her favorite part. She wrote it in her book in the car. She always has it with her. Happy birthday to your sweet girl. :001_wub:
  13. Only one of my sons picked up my ADD. He has always fought me on the planner systems. I finally had to force him to pick from one of three options ... that he didn't have to love it, but he had to use SOMETHING until he could figure out his OWN system. It was kind of like copy work before writing on your own, or the whole classical writing approach thing. It was a hill I had to die on, and I damn near did die LOL. He now has a system that makes no sense to me, but that has been working successfully for him. It's a hodgepodge of ideas and it made me nervous initially because it relied so much on electronic help (e.g., Siri) but we've seen such an improvement in his ability to stay on track and get things done. My son has enlisted in the military. He definitely needed a job that has built in scaffolding! LOL Hopefully your son figures out what works for him :) I've never read that book, but I see it recommended all of the time. I always mean to see if my library has it. I should write it down .... :lol:
  14. I don't have a suggestion, I'm just glad I have a bra for these things. :lol:
  15. We were only part of a co-op for two years, but we've been able to retain our relationships for the two years we've been GONE from co-op. We left because the academics weren't a good fit for us (we're more relaxed and the co-op was pretty hardcore so homework spilled over into "my" time teaching at home.) Even with that, they've continued to include us in field trips and holiday parties, and they've invited us to do some of the "bigger" things like dissections. It was an adjustment going from seeing families 2-3 days each week, to 1-2 times a month but the kids maintain e-contact (and those who can drive, get together every few weeks, socially, without the younger siblings of course). The moms have kept me in the text group loop. Sometimes I get texts of zero interest or relevance to me because it's about co-op, but I also get the social ones so that helps me stay in touch. Ours was a small co-op (6 families). Two families left; 1 (me) maintained contact while the 2nd family cut themselves off entirely (with the exception of me, whom they stayed in touch with and who I see monthly for MNO and getting younger siblings together).
  16. Rosika


    My heart is breaking for your family, and I'm sorry your sweet baby's time here was so painfully short. Peace and healing, prayers and love. :grouphug:
  17. I have to write everything down. I can't make use of the millions of wonderful smartphone apps because if I don't write it down with my own hand, my brain doesn't register it. When I was in college I had a small notebook dedicated specifically to be my brain - sort of like you see detectives using in tv shows, they whip it out of their pockets and it's a tiny, little spiral. Anyway, I wrote down my TODAY TO-DO on the front and my TO-DO LATER on the back of each page. In your example, as I was talking to (or as soon as I had finished talking to) the teacher, I'd have written down "Stay after school to retake test" on the front side. And I would check my notebook a bit obsessively, at minimum at the beginning and end of each class. It was my transition piece - where do I go next? What do I do next? Nowadays I use a bullet journal, but I've had zero success getting any of my boys to get on board with that - least of all my one son who would benefit most from one. He just goes through life forgetting things. But if you think he'd be game for it, it may change his life forever! LOL
  18. My oldest sons are four boys born within six years, so they shared a lot of clothes. I always heard great things about Lands End, but there was no store near me and I don't shop for clothes online. But they were always the first suggestion people had for me, so definitely try them! I had the best luck with Gap. They have good sales, and I can sometimes find them secondhand (at Once Upon A Child type or Ebay, as opposed to thrift stores.) I bought basic tees, shorts, swim trunks, sweaters, slacks, and jeans. I filled those in with Target or Old Navy tees, which often tore after 1-2 kids or years but were fine for playground play and around the house. These boys are now older teens and adults. Gap is still our go-to for jeans, basic tees, and sweaters. Gymboree had decent quality, too, but I didn't care for their "lines" or look. I bought their pajamas and basic sweatshirts/hoodies though because I hated how Gap's all had their name in huge letters across the chests. Sears also had a great plan for jeans when they were younger. I can't remember the brand, but any time the knees wore or tore you could bring them in for an exchange and get a new pair. That was awesome. I heard they did away with that. Maybe Sears was done away with, I don't remember. I stopped shopping there once the boys hit middle school and took better care of their jeans.
  19. I second the whisk and tongs, and I love Rach's suggestion of a second peeler! What about a nylon pan scraper? Pampered Chef sold them but I see them at Walmart now. Kitchen stuff that I'm not sure lots of people use but we do: Potato masher Steaming basket Salad spinner those green bags or containers that keep fruits/veggies fresh longer Pyrex glass storage containers or mason jars with plastic lids kitchen shears/scissors that thing you slam with your hand so it chops everything for you I like multiple cutting boards - at least one large one, but also a small one for fruit or other quick, easy prep stainless dish drying rack with drying pad those food storage clips (like for closing up opened bags of rice, chips, whatever) trivets - simple stainless, or fancy stone (I see these cheap at Ross/Marshalls)
  20. Keep it simple: deli meat - turkey, roast beef, ham + starch - roll, pretzels, crackers, sandwich bread + fruit - apple, pears, grapes, + extra protein - hard-boiled egg, cheese, pepperoni slices,peanut butter for the apple and a salad, if you like ... or a tray of prepared vegetables from the grocery store (pricey but perfect for these kind of weeks) One of my easiest "go make it yourself" kid meals is to wrap the deli meat around a string cheese, or to make little "sandwiches" with Triscuits topped with a slice of meat, slice of hard cheese. Somehow that presentation makes it more palatable to the kids :confused1: LOL.
  21. This is such an important factor to consider. My son participates in a twice-monthly literature class at a nearby co-op. The group would sometimes go off tangent and the teacher LOVED the dialogue and discussion, but it was taking away from the literature stuff. My son proposed that the group meet (optionally) a third time each month to continue the discussions that were distracting the literature class. For example, last month they read Purgatorio and discussed the idea of purgatory, and then limbo, but then it went sideways to the OT God vs. NT God, and somehow over to England's political system vs. Hitler or some kind of six ways to crazy. Really good, meaty conversations but not what they were there for. 11 of the 13 students came to the first meeting and there are about 8-10 at any given meeting. My son is one of three who dominate conversations. All three have strong personalities or come from large families where talking over each other loudly is part of life/survival. After a few meetings, I suggested that my son find an adult moderator. The literature teacher agreed. It worked much better because they all respected her and her neutrality, and I'm sure because she was an adult. I think that's key for a moderator - to be respected by both sides. It sounds like a fun idea. It reminds me a bit of the Socarates Cafe. It's a book, my library had it. I prefer online groups for this because stronger personalities aren't as likely to dominate and emotions are more easily checked (and facts or "facts" more quickly verified). The book may have recommendations for starting a group like the one you're thinking. It sounds fun and I wish you luck!
  22. Family cloth doesn't bother me. We've done it for ages, including when I was a kid. (Exception: we use paper for poop, then and now. So as the laundress, I'd be loathe to go to family cloth full time, but I could do it if I "had" to. And I'd do it if it meant having an extra $5 a week for a coffee, movie, or anything for 1-2 hours involving me, myself, and no one I'm married to, was married, was born to, or gave birth to.) But the one thing where I draw the line is hot water on demand. I get cold easily, and my husband likes to keep the house like a meat locker. I'm guessing one day this will be nice for me (menopause), but for the time being, I take about 4 hot showers a day. If my bones get cold, I honestly can't function. A 20 minute hot shower will keep me good for 2-3 hours. It'd be cheaper for him to turn the damn temperature up LOL but he thinks he's saving money by keeping the thermostat where it is. Okay, Love. But this fall he tried to mess with the hot water heater. He turned it off during the day, and planned for laundry, dishes, and showers in the evenings.First of all, I'm not convinced that really even saves anything. I grew up without a hot water heater. When I discovered hot water on demand, I knew there was a God and that He loved me. DH's "cost-saving measure" lasted a week. I became cranky from the cold and impossible to live with.
  23. I don't brush their teeth, but I try to incorporate foods that act as nature's little toothbrushes LOL.
  24. Maybe we are neighbors :) Are you in a college town and is there a spit in the yard, for the lamb and pig? LOL I come from this culture and it's typical for us to relax with good conversation, late into the night. When we immigrated, I had to learn that this was "rude" here. I had to be kicked out of some people's homes (gently, but still) because our expectations didn't line up. We are the kind to stay up talking well past midnight, typically to 2am even if we have to get up early the next day. People here seemed to wrap up around 9, maybe 10 for informal gathering and every once in a good while at about midnight for bigger events. Or if they were too nice to kick out people like me who didn't know. :smilielol5:
  25. Not to brag, but I could take the Gold in: Finding A Public Restroom in Under 1 minute, Anywhere, Anytime It comes from years of being pregnant with the world's smallest bladder with a herd of close-in-age potty-training kids who inherited the world's smallest bladders. LOL I might take Silver or Bronze in Ensuring a Make-Up Product or Color is Discontinued ... my friends now refuse to share their makeup and hair product info with me for fear of what may happen should I try it, buy it, or like it. Because every time I try, buy, or like a product it seems to get discontinued. I consider it my public duty to remain stuck in my 1990s makeup and hair care routine until it cycles back into fashion again. This has been difficult, especially after the past recent threads sharing YouTube women doing makeup for people my age!
  • Create New...