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IvyInFlorida last won the day on March 6

IvyInFlorida had the most liked content!

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About IvyInFlorida

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. I used to love finding and cooking new recipes. Now, though, I basically eat the same stuff everydayish. The benefits for me are huge. First, I'm in an extremely busy season of life and can't be creative with cooking right now. Also, I'm training martial arts and working out twice a day, so it helps me know I'm getting the right fuel and nutrients without undue fuss. Finally, everybody but me is picky and having a pool of meals that work really reduces stress. I have 3 breakfasts that I rotate between, eat a salad for lunch every day (toppings vary), and use basically the same template for suppertime--chicken, beef, pork, or fish simply cooked in crockpot or roasted, a tray of roasted veggies, and a carb side such as a flavored rice, cornbread, bun, baked potato, etc. Boom. Almost no processed food, healthy, homemade, yummy, and easy.
  2. I was extremely resistant to meds. I'm pretty sure at some point I didn't think ADHD was a real thing. But I will never forget the first day I gave him that pill. An hour later, he took a puzzle off the shelf, sat down and did the whole thing by himself, and looked at me and said, "mom, I didn't know I could do puzzles!" I could say all the same things others have about drastic improvements in family relationships, academics, sports, etc., but the things that makes meds a miracle for him is that without them, he is an extreme risk taker and gets hurt often. When I read somewhere about how unmedicated ADHD boys are so much more likely to get in car accidents, it all clicked for me. This isn't about me and how I feel about my perceived parenting failures or whatever--this is about him and his life. I wish I wouldn't have been so stubborn about it for so long.
  3. They probably did mean status as an aggregate of qualities, but they spent a ton of time emphasizing height and sexual attractiveness. I have always thought that the reason women marry older men in general is that older men are more likely to put marriage on the table in a timely manner and in general exhibit more emotional maturity. Not status as in farther along in a career or something. That was indeed his point about "enforced monogamy," to give lower status men a chance. I think what really does happen in a society that emphasizes monogamy is that young men are more likely to exert effort to make themselves attractive to young women instead of languishing unwashed in the basement, or whatever incels characterize themselves as doing. I will argue a little bit with you, just for fun 🙂 . If a man looks at statistics and draws conclusions about what women are thinking when they choose partners (not sure how accurate that can be), and those conclusions are basically that deep down women are like animals waiting for the rutting males to sort themselves out, doesn't that warp the man's ability to have a deep, intimate, trusting relationship with a woman? And then if he has a platform for broadcasting those conclusions, won't they affect other men? I think I was amazed at how casually they tossed that opinion out there as gospel.
  4. I have plenty of men in my social circle, but we all live in TinySouthernTown USA where what men look for in women is fidelity and the ability to make good biscuits. I obv don't know men who think women are like this or I wouldn't have been shocked. The whole point is that certainty with which they expressed this opinion made me wonder if a large segment of the male population in general felt like this.
  5. This is a slight spin off of the Joe Rogan thing. I was listening to his podcast with Jordan Peterson. They were discussing incels and potential solutions for this phenomenon (which they both agreed comes from sick and wrong ideas) when basically one of them says, women choose mates by basically picking several men who are above them in status, letting them compete, and choosing the winner. The other affirms this, saying, yep, that's just established fact rooted in biology and evolution. I was astounded by this exchange for several reasons. First, these 2 men come from different places politicially, morally, and culturally, but agree on this perception to the extent that they state it as obvious fact. Second, this belief is foundational to the incel philosophy--the idea that women only pick tall, sexually superior men with chiseled jaw lines. This is clearly viewing women as beings not capable of rising above animal instincts or even desiring to (another reason why incels learn to view women as subhuman and eventually causes deep hatred of women). Third, this does not match my experience of my own relationships or the ones of people in my life. AT ALL. It does match what I see a lot of younger people discussing on the internet, thanks to things like Tinder where women are often very up front about the physical requirements of the men they're willing to hook up with. As the mom of young sons, this is really disturbing to me. How can two people have an intimate, loving relationship when deep down the man believes the woman only chose him for cold-hearted reasons? I'd love for y'all to weigh in. Do you think this is a prevalent perception of how women are with regard to relationships? Have you seen this play out often in real life? I'll start--like I said, I had already thought this was more of a younger male perception, which is why I was shocked to hear these 2 men state it so emphatically. My own experience doesn't bear it out at all. The dominant thing I see is men expressing the idea that women are emotionally needy and impossible to please. What's that phenomenon where the wife tries hard to get her distant husband to be close to her but after years of no change, quietly prepares to leave, and the husband is (bizarrely) blindsided when it happens? I can't remember what it's called. Anyways, would love to her the Hive's thoughts.
  6. What topics does the Naval Ravikant one touch on?
  7. I enjoyed the one with Tim Kennedy. Also he does one with Graham Hancock and some other guy that was very engaging.
  8. I recently went to a dairy exhibit and learned that cows here in Florida mostly eat stuff that is basically agricultural waste products--pellets made from citrus pulp left over from juice making, corn silage, etc.
  9. I do martial arts, and I much prefer to spar with men. The women mostly just go through the motions with no effort to push themselves (or me). Teen girls are an exception--one in particular is quite aggressive and I have several bruises from her right now. I like sparring with men because in general they are always pushing the edge of their abilities, so we both get better. When it comes to self defense, however, I have panicked when grabbed by some of the men. Even my much beloved favorite instructor can make me instinctively freeze when he corners me in a simulated attack. And he's basically my equal in height and weight. It's like there's this difference in body leverage and power I'm suddenly instinctively aware of that makes me go all deer in the headlights. He says that's why we keep practicing this way, to force us to overcome that response. But I don't have any sense of emotional "better be nice to this man or he'll be mad" going on. I just want every sparring match to be useful for both parties.
  10. I think there is a moral dimension to food. If I make a lot of unhealthy decisions, they have ramifications outside myself. My health affects my husband, children, and parents. Having treats occasionally doesn't make someone "bad." But if you know that you are reinforcing a habit of eating that weakens you and will over time adversely affect the ones you love, I do think that is "bad." Let's say I have X amount of money, Y amount of time, and Z access to food. If I consistently and knowingly make less than wise choices with those resources, that habit has a moral dimension to it. Edited to add: I don't comment on other people's diets or try to evangelize others. If someone were to ask me for help, I would gladly give advice.
  11. I get mocked all the time for healthy eating and exercise. And I can't talk about it (my hobby of taking care of myself) because then folks act like I'm being vain or self-righteous. The truth is that my life has improved dramatically (physically and emotionally) after almost 2 years of healthy choices. But almost everyone I know has this concept that they will age badly and there's nothing they can do about it. I've even heard doctors with that mentality. I have no idea how to fix this kind of thing. Most people don't believe self improvement is possible and therefore have convinced themselves it's undesirable. I don't get it!
  12. ...about how often over the years did the dose need to be increased? My almost 10 year old son has been on Focalin XR for about 2 years. 10mg was the starting dose, about 9 months later needed 15 mg, about 9 months ago needed to add a short-acting 5 mg dose in the afternoon. Now he is showing the signs that he needs another increase (very easily distracted, massive amounts of loud random noise, being bossy/controlling, blurting out random stuff, taking greater physical risks, etc.). Is it normal to have to up it so often? Will it continue like this? By the way, he gets TONS of physical exertion (trampoline, martial arts), eats a healthy homemade diet, and has a structured, stable home life. Thanks!
  13. Hi! I'm 39, with dark-brown, straight hair to mid-back. It's quite fine and prone to being oily, but there's a lot of it. I've had an ever-growing white streak since I was about 16, but recently I noticed that all my new baby hairs growing in are stark white. There's tons of them. I thought I was just having breakage along my part and hairline, but turns out I get a halo of coarse, wavy, blinding white hairs no matter where I part it. Now, I'm cool with the color change, not really anxious to dye it or anything. But the texture is crazy! The springy, wiry, wavy whites are very noticeable against the normal smooth dark hair, especially when it's pulled back for working out and martial arts. Can anyone recommend a product to help? Anything that will be greasy won't work--my hair is easily weighed down and naturally...well-moisturized, let's say. 🙂 Thank you!!
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