No, my parents werent religious at the time. Except childhood, my family never went to church until well after I came along. Yes, she does what she does out of guilt, but it seems crazy to me that she cant see what me and my mom have that she and I dont have is an emotional bond not stuff. She is so materialistic. Also, she was 18 when I was born and it would have been a struggle. But she lived with us for years. I dont know why she wouldnt choose to earn a degree to make a better way while she had helo from mom and dad to babysit. They would have pitched in to help her with anything. They always have with all of us. She would be willing to talk, I just dont know if I can be adult enough about it. I dont want to cause her any more guilt or pain. Thanks for your reply!

I never have trouble sleeping unless I am pregnant. I will wake between 3 and 5 am and cannot go back to sleep. My mind gets to thinking about EVERYTHING. I feel too tired to actually get up and get some work done. I just lie here and think. I usually get back to sleep for a couple of hours before the kids get up, but it leaves me so drained. This usually just happens during the first trimester though. Im 9 weeks today and I get to go in for my 1st ultrasound. I cant wait to see my little one for the first time.

Oh wow! I had never thought how it might feel to have never met a blood relative! Thanks for sharing. Thanks for your kind words. My struggle ist too bad. I am just very emotional about it during pregnancy and with a brand new baby mostly.

Yikes I just realized how long that was. If you cant take the time to read it, I totally understand. It was good therapy just writing about it. My story I will refer to my adopted parents as mom and dad because calling them my adopted parents feels icky to me. My mom told me I was adopted when I was very young. We live in a small rural area and she didnt want anyone but her to be the first to tell me. I literally had zero issues with this my whole entire life until the very day my oldest son was born and it hit me all at once. I had dated dh for like 3 years before I realized he didnt know because it was never something I ever spent any time thinking about. It just never mattered to me. Now since I have kids I am constantly struggling with this. So, my mom had had her fist two children when she and and my dad were super young. She was 17 and 19. When she was 36 her second child, her daughter, gave birth to me. My bio dad was not in the picture at all. So, they all agreed and I was adopted as a small baby. So, this is what I struggle with. (I will call the person that gave birth to me my sister because thats how I know her) My sister has been around my whole life. A big part of my life. She. did a lot with me growing up. I always loved her and liked spending time with her. I looked up to her. When my mom told me I was adopted, she sat me down, told me I was adopted, my sister was really my mom and if I had any questions I could ask her or my sister. That was it, it didnt bother me. I had a perfect childhood. I didnt have any questions and I moved on. Fast forward to the day my ds was born and my sister came to the hospital to see us and she was happy and emotional and fussing over the baby and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I grew extremely bitter toward her. The feelings I felt for my son that day... what kind of person could give away their baby? It dawned on me as I moved into motherhood what a selfless task it is to be a mother. I realized that she gave that job to my mom and do you know what she did? She played with me, bought me toys, took me to movies, parks, fairs, amusement parks, to the circus, had birthday parties,took me trick or treating, bought a pony basically all the fun things you can do to indulge a small child. Needless to say I thought she was great. She always referred to me as her baby too. Then I had my baby and I realized my mom had the sleepless nights and thousands of dirty diapers and bottles. She was the one to comfort me when I was scared or sad, she sat up with me and held my hair when I was sick, she had to brush the tangles out of my hair and deal with my temper tantrums and make me do my homework listened to my teenage drama. All the crap work that real moms gladly do. It seems sefless to give up your baby to give it a better life, but she didnt give me up. She just tucked me away until she felt like playing mommy. I know so many that weren't ready to be a mom, but they put forth the effort to try to give their kid the best life they could. Why couldnt she try? She lived at home and I promise you, she could have stayed there as long as she needed to get on her own 2 feet. It wasnt like she was homeless. My parents werent putting her out. Things might have been tight and she might not have been able to buy me a pony if she kept me, but I think I would have survived without it. I cannot bring myself to talk to her about. I am afraid I will be too hurtful. She seems like a sad person in general and a bit depressed and I dont want to add to it. I dump on my mom all the time, but it seems to make her sad and she seems a bit defensive of my sister. Which I understand, but then I ask her how she would feel if her mom hadnt bothered to work hard to raise her, but instead put that off on someone else. As for my bio dad, I am thinking I would like to ask my sister to seal up any info about him in an envelope, so I can have as much info as possible in case I want to contact him. I am honestly not sure who knows what about him and I am afraid if something were to happen to my sister the info might be gone. The way my mom makes it seem they werent really in a relationship, maybe a one night stand or a short fling I guess. My mom doesnt act like she knew him. My sister actually kept her pregnancy a secret until the day I was born. My sister still hasnt changed her ways. My mom catches all my venting. She has us over once a week and makes a homecooked meal, and plays with my kids and bonds with us and my sister. comes in passing out 20 bills and rediculous toys and candy and donuts acting like my kids are the most important things to her in the world even though she will go 3 weeks and not even a call. She just comes around when she feels like it. My mom and me talk every single day. My sister always wants to buy us things, but really after all these years I would have liked some emotional connect from her, but its like thats just not how she is. Her display of love comes from money and things and she misses the mark so bad. My mom knows what is important. She is everything I need as a mom. I just feel sad my sister is such a sad person. I wish we could patch it up and move on, but I am just not sure we could and I am too scared to try. Also, on the subject of my dad, I dont need him. I have a dad. It just worries me that he doesnt know I exist. From what I gather, my sister didnt tell him in fear he might take. Also selfish I think. If he doesnt care, I feel good with that. It just troubles me he has a daughter and doesnt know it. I am curious about siblings and I would like to see his green/dark eyes I know he has as every single person in my family has blue eyes. So, thanks for letting me vent. I was so emotional and everyone is asleep. So, if anyone has any advice or insight into what I said, feel free to chime in. I always appreciate an unbiased opinion. Dh and my mom, its always the same, which is fine but maybe not helpful. Maybe I am just being a selfish brat, if so please dont spare my feelings. I know its weird to put my life out there like that, but I always appreciate the various points of view fron people you dont know.

I am and I feel extra emotional about it each time I'm pregnant. I just woke up with the baby and thoughts just went running through my mind and now I cant sleep. I talk with my dh and mom a lot about the subject, so I have support, but I just felt like sharing with you all and wanted to know other peoples stories if you would like to share. It is going to take a while to type this all out, but I needed to put it out there if anyone cares to listen because I say the same things to my mom and dh over and over and honestly I get tired of thr dumping the same thing on them all the time. They dont mind though. Excuse me if I dont finish this today.

My school never took an overnight trip. I dont know about now. I doubt it. We live in a poor area, so Im guessing only a handful of kids could go anyway. As a matter of fact it is so bad they gave the whole county free lunch so many kids qualified.

Yeah, I am 8 weeks pregnant and di I hafta is my response to everything that has to be done. I didnt even do math with ds today. It was just that kind of day. The baby didnt take an afternoon nap. Dh did clean out and organize the freezer and a kitchen cabinet today, so thats one thing I didnt hafta. Loved it!

I know that feeling. Hugs as you sort it out. I'm always of the mind things work how they are supposed to. Things happen all the time and they seem wrong in my idea of perfect, but it all just works out.

lol

What subjects for language arts do you feel need to be covered in these grades?

Aww thank you. Im excited about a new baby, but pregnancy is wearing me out.

She found him! He was under dh's pillow. No wonder we couldnt find him.

wrong place nm

Glad to hear she is feeling better. I have not found her baby yet. Our house is a bit upside down right now because Im 8 weeks pregnant and exhausted, but he will show up. He was here last night, we just have to look harder. Yes we did thakfully get about 4 more hours of sleep. I needed that badly!

Aww poor thing. I hope she is feeling better. All 3 of my kids have had a bit of a cold, but nothing too bad.

My dd (almost 2) wakes a few times each night for a change and nursing. This morning at about 3:30 she started asking for her favorite baby and I cant find it. Now she is taking all her babies in the bathroom to let them all "bee" in the potty. OMG I am so sleepy. Im sure she will wind down right as the boys decide to wake up. I am napping today and that is that. She better be glad she is so darn cute. Any one else up bright and early this morning?

I have been thinking the same thing. I am pregnant with number 4 and I wonder if it is our last. That thought makes me sad, but I am OVERWHELMED right now. Our tiny house is absolutely FULL and I mean just with the essentials it would be crowded. So basically I am done for a while. My kids will be 6 1/2, 5 and 2 1/2 when the new baby comes. I am sure when this baby self weans and more people are sleeping in their own bed and wiping their own butts and taking their own baths and putting on their own clothing and shoes and we get a bigger house, I might like 1 or 2 more. I am 31 so I am lucky to have a bit more time to have more. Random bit of info, my grandma and her twin sister were born when their mother was 48. Also, I added it up and I have bf for a total of 5 years and 3 months with my 3 kids. So, I guess I would really like to have 1 in my late 30s and 1 in my early 40s if God sees fit for that to happen, I would feel very blessed. I also wanted to add, I have always said if I had to have a csection I would be done. Who knows, but I am terrified of all things medical. I go for unmedicated births, so if that were to happen I might be done. Also, we do ok with affording what we need, but if we were at the point we couldnt afford fun extras for the kids I might have to be done then. Oh and pregnancy sucks every bit of life out of me, so since I am pregnant the thought of doing that again makes me feel crazy. I doubt this helped you decide, it was more just rambling. Good luck with your decision!

Agree. My kids watch these for fun. Wild Kratts are good if you are learning about animals. They also adore Ready Jet Go for astronomy topics.

Good point.

It depends I guess. My first 2 were big snackers at two, but dd does not have a big appetite like the boys did. She rarely snacks.

I keep checking back. It feels good someone else is this way. I have always known I am introverted, but I didnt realize my low energy went along with this. Funny thing is that dh and both my boys are this way too. For instance most 4 and 5 year old boys are running and climbing and what not when you take them to a park and my boys always end up collecting pinecones or just wanting to walk by the river. I think I need to make it a priority for all 4 of us to get the downtime we crave. Since you have brought it to my attention, I realize this is why I have felt so blah lately. Before I started homeschool, when the baby napped we all got downtime. Now naptime is school time and there isnt a downtime for us all everyday. One task runs into another and it is wearing me out. I used to get to rest and so dh used to get to rest when he got home. Not anymore because Im so drained, Im dragging him right into what me and the kids are doing as soon as he gets in the door. Sorry Im so focused on me, but I just now realized the source of a lot of issues I a having right now.

If it makes you feel better Im right there with you. I need ridiculous amounts of time to recover too. It makes me question my homeschool decision constantly. After I finish school with my first grader I feel wiped out. Just as we are closing up, then my 2 year old wakes up from her nap ready to go and I feel ready to rest up then.

Nope not yet.

I sure hope she gets mote manageable. Right now she is the most strong willed child I have had. All my kids stopped napping around this time and I am dreading that. I usually do have a easy time with the newborn, here is hoping this one will be easy too. Thanks everyone for all the kind words and encouragement.

I had a nice schedule until I got pregnant. Now it is just whatever that is easy and the kids want. My oldest wants instant peach oatmeal every morning right now. My schedule used to be S - PB on toast & fruit M - smoothie T - Scrambled Eggs, Toast &Fruit W - Smoothie Th - Cereal, Granola and a boiled egg or sometimes steel cut oats in the crockpot, but only ds 1 and me eat this & fruit F - Smoothie S - Homemade Waffles & Fruit, sometimes bacon I little ones and we dont get started on school until later in the day, so breakfast isnt a big deal to cook. My kids also take a long time to be hungry for breakfast. I let them choose any easy non cooking option like a boiled egg or piece of cheese if they dont like what we are having. We are out of the house early M W and F so that is why we do smotthies or no one would eat before we left. Like I said this is my non pregnant schedule. My kids may or may not have had cookies with breakfast this morning. Just saying.