:grouphug: I dont even know what to say about all that. So sad.

Thanks. I cant even get them to return my calls half the time.

Nope. My routine is get the kids ready for bed and we all go to bed. In too tired for anything else. Im up at 4 am, so... yeah

or does it seem everyone is always too busy? I used to have so much fun with so many members of my extended family. They used to come to all our birthday parties and we got together for all the holidays. When my Mamaw was alive we were all together minimum of once a month. I find it so sad and disappointing. I put forth the effort to try to plan get togethers, but they always have plans. I feel like I am done trying. I hate it. Thanks for letting me vent.

The grandkids.

My sil just sent my 6 year old a kiwi crate for his birthday and he adores it. Sorry I saw you said older teen boy.

We just go trick or treating and carve pumpkins. I would like more as I love Halloween, but after 2 kid birthdays my creativity takes a break. my oldest is going to be a ninjago character. my second son is going to be picachu. I dont know if I spelled that right. My dd will be Elmo. She lives elmo and we alreaxy had the costume when ds2 liked elmo. He refused the costume, so its brand new.

Basically I quit burning my candle at both ends. I used to wake up before the kids to get work done and stay up past the kids to get work done. Now I just wake up early and I go to sleep when they do. I just leave unfinished work until the morning and dont stress about. I get to it when I can.

yes

Well it does have to include because our kids are hungry for dinner.

Yes it is her a lot. If we something without her she texts him a lot and fakes some problem. She doesnt get around well and all of us are sure she has actually "fallen and couldnt get up" for attebtion and sympathy. Also her ability varies when difgerent people are around. Sometimes she plays this helpless old lady bit and sometimes this strong look at me pushing through strong independent woman bit. Everything she does is to get attention and make things about her. We try to exclude her as much as we can.Yes he would be bettet off without her, but he wont leave her at this point.

party -central appalachia

Im being honest here. I adore seeing kids being childlike as long as possible. If they are comfortable trick or treating I would be happy to give out candy. I do hate seeing young girls wear *sexy* costumes. Yuck. I saw that a few time last year.

No no need to be sorry. I see how your ds wants to have some fun and its tough at that age to find your place. Too old to do kid stuff, but still wants to be fun. I mean I get it. I wish I could think of a solution, but idk it could be. Its good to ask things. We all see tbe world so differently. And I mean this really. So often here I wind up feeling like an ass for saying or asking whats on my mind. I wish it wasnt like this.

I dont know for sure if the kids dont mind going. Im not sure. It seems they dont mind. I dont think he would try to make them go if they didnt want to. I think I will ask then next time if they want to visit or stay home and see what they say.

Well if I have plans we do that instead of visit. We dont go if we have plans, but when we dont, we go. I would feel so much better if I only had to go every other week. I just feel guilty I could visit my parents any day I liked since I get to stay home. He doesnt control when I go. I feel like I kind of owe that to him I guess. Ugh. Why do I feel guilty about everything? I just feel like if he wants to I hate to say no.

I think they do want us there. We didnt go for about a month due to things we had to do/things they had to so. fil sent dh texts sounding like he missed us. Why once a week? idk I ask dh each friday what his plans are and he always says visit my parents. idk?

I also see what you mean by a shield. As for the outside. Its not really a friendly place. Fil is getting older and he doesnt keep it up. Its all weeds and brush. Its not quite what you might envision when you think farm.

Good advice. To clear things up, they interact from time to time, but they arent great about. Mil interacts if someone is around to witness it. She likes to pretend to be grandma of the year in public. They are not mean to my kids because we are there. I guarantee they would be mean if we werent around. Mil is an extremely toxic person. She truly enjoys seeing people suffer. Mil did most of the screwed up things to the kids. I dont think they feel fil was abusive to them, but he just wasn' all that interested in being an active father. He was just there kwim? The things mil did though were unforgivable imo and really theirbhome wasnt a fit place for children imo.

Good thoughts. We could. It just feels sooooo unwelcoming to me and thats probably my issue. Dh parents arent from here and every family or friend we have, has that did ya'll eat mentality?? Family just wants to feed you. Its just what they do. Like I said, thats my issue.

Im not following, could you explain a bit?

I was just thinking about this one time we went fishing. They bought the boys fishing poles. Dd was tiny so I was busy with her. Instead of either of them helping either ds they just sat there with their own fishing poles. Fishing isnt really my boys thingand they grew tired of it in about 10 minutes and kept asking to go hiking, but they just kept fishing.

lol you gotta have a job to retire, so.... I pretty much have always been a sahw and m. Dh will retire young, its a federal job. There is a maximum age and you have to be outta there. He actually retires in 12 years at the age of 48. Chances are he will do another job when he is done there. I will likely get a job when all my kids are grown and gone if I have any life left in me. :lol: And no 48 isnt the max age. I cant remember what it is. Thats just how old he CAN be to retire. He could stay longer til he reaches the max age. He is pretty burned out, so Id say he will move on inless he scores a sweet position, thete are many to be had and senority helps, so we will see when the time comes. Our current kids will be 18, 16, 14 and 12 so Im sure he will keep working somewhere until all our kids are out of the house. Im honestly not sure what his retirement looks like. Hes the money person in the family, he knows. I forgot, we have 2 rentals and as we go we are thinking of more, so we should have that for some income. They currently arent huge money makers. We may get there someday.

You are right, I need to.

Ds played checkers once with fil, but ds loves chess not checkers and fil wouldnt try to learn how to play chess.Having some games there might be a good idea though.