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kwg

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Everything posted by kwg

  1. lol, my first thought was it sounds like you need a new purse. :lol:
  2. Sheesh. I did not even think of that. The buttons are a great idea though I worry about the expense.
  3. My dad was killed last year and the defendant is on trial in a few weeks. Our family would like to wear something to show our solidarity and to remember the reason we are there. We are expecting many to show up for the trial. I originally made ribbons- green to show my dad was a farmer and loved the outside with a small white rose to signify justice. My stepmom said today she was hoping to have something with my dad's picture on it. Any ideas on what that could be? How that could work? I like the ribbons but do not need them necessarily. I kinda do not want anything too...ostentatious. sigh. Anyone been through this and made/done something?
  4. I need to clean and prepare for the week. Monday at least!
  5. Did they not realize what happened? What in the world?
  6. kwg

    Questions

    I am too embarrassed to ask anyone I will have to see socially but I need to know if this is normal and/or what you would do if you were me. Please do not quote. My husband and I got into an argument. Lately our arguments do get kinda volatile (yelling, cursing at each other). Our most recent one- It is difficult to say without a boring blow by blow but basically I was bitchy and said something hurtful. When he expressed sadness, I was *still* bitchy (according to him) by saying "well yeah ok maybe I should not have said that , it was ugly BUT you still did blah blah blah." That shocked him that I would be mad at *him* after what *I* had said. I started to walk off in anger and he yelled for me to stop. He hates that and I know that he hates it but in the moment I was not thinking about his needs but my own. So I was not being spiteful but selfish I guess. When I did not stop, he stood in my way and barred the exit and when I kept going he grabbed my arm and would not let go. There was a struggle; I did not lose my footing, but coffee was spilled around. My son ran out of the house and I turned to follow him. I felt so bad. My parents fought a lot and my dad did hit my mother. But my husband followed me, yelling for me to 'get back! get back in here '. I was so embarrassed-neighbors - and worried -poor ds- so I did go back in where I told him I was going to check on ds. I was pissed. I mean..just ....furious. I thought "I will not let him see I am scared right now" (that is weird right, that that is how I would feel?) We yelled back and forth; he still would not let me check on ds. I was not backing down. My ds is not yet 10 :( and I wanted to make sure he was ok. And I was furious he had tried to prevent me from leaving the room in the first place. He ended up calling to my oldest and told HIM to get his brother. I told him that was messed up and wrong, he had no right to try to stop me from going anywhere, etc etc. and he said "I made him do it". I hit the roof with that. It was hard for me to care about the first part of the argument after that. Eventually things calmed down, we talked it out. I never did make it outside to check on the kids but I did talk to them later. I think they are ok. He apologized for grabbing me and I apologized for my part in the initial argument that started the whole thing. I felt like he did not take seriously what he did and it took precedence in my mind, it seemed "worse" to me than me "just" saying something snippy and being unsympathetic. He saw the whole thing the same way, what I said was worse and I was not taking my responsibility in the whole thing seriously. That night we had overnight guests, close friends we have vacationed with who remarked that they had never seen my husband so affectionate. It made my stomach hurt. Like this is creepy. wrong. Stop being so weird. We have been married 18 years and now I feel like my life is a lifetime movie. Or maybe he just feels badly and is trying to make up for it. I have a history of being physically abused so maybe I am over reacting? Despite wanting to talk about it and knowing my guest would not be really harsh with me, I did not tell her because she was seeing dh as nice and affectionate and said she felt glad, she had been worried about me. Lately he has been a bit of an ass around them and I did not want to make him look bad. It was hard for me to have them over and pretend. The next morning I noticed a bruise where he had grabbed me. My first thought was to not mention it since it would make him feel bad and he is already so clearly on edge etc, ...then I thought 'sheesh you sound like an abuse victim; he needs to see what he has done'. Once we were alone, I showed him and said I thought it was from him. He said he hoped not because he felt bad already. I gave him a look that said "you wouldnt feel bad if you hadnt done it' So -clearly-I am still pissed. I can see what I did wrong but I still feel like he really took it to the next level and it is hard for me to see that as normal and ok. Maybe that is because of my history? And because I am not feeling empathetic? Ugh. I want to feel that way, I just do not. I feel mad and suspicious. Part of me is scared- how do you know if your husband has a brain tumor? Or is loosing his mind? Or is it me? It could be. I was bitchy. We have been under some stresses (close family member was killed almost a year ago and the trial is starting soonish. We have had preliminary meetings) . Neither of us is performing any where near capacity. Or maybe crap like this just happens and we just need to keep plugging along? I vaguely recall reading that the fifth year of marriage, for example, is tough. Perhaps it is the same for the 18th? Would you think that arguement was a big deal? What would you do about it if it was your marriage?
  7. How come you have not changed it now? Or just started going by a different name if not legally...
  8. We did them a few weeks ago and I noticed a stink. So did the kids. Yuck!
  9. oh, I was hoping you would go!!!! (I am going vicariously, lol)
  10. What did you decide Camelfeet? My vent: People who won't make decisions, and then when I make it, I get second guessing. :huh:
  11. ooohhhhh you poor thing! Grrr. I'd book a flight for mom or cousin if I could afford it.
  12. My ds would like one. Made by me. A novice (if that) seamstress. *sigh* :lol: I made his brother a Hobbes and so that gave him the idea. Anyone have a pattern?
  13. How scary! Thank you for that reminder!
  14. I am very disheartened that you have asked to have it deleted before updating that you went to the authorities. I am sorry you got so upset. I hope you ended up going to the police.
  15. How did they mishandle it if you do not mind me asking?
  16. OP said she was going to contact church people. So how did that go? I would be interested to hear what you decide to do. I think it feels confusing bc you are in it but really it is not complicated. Hand the letter over (to the police) and the burden has been lifted. Whatver happens after that, really is out of your control. How could it hurt really?
  17. No, I know. I was just feeling bad for her because in both situations he took her control- this time it feels like of the information by making sure it gets out and passing it out to a ton of different people. I mean why else would he do it? But in the end the why does not matter of course.
  18. I was kinda wondering about her rights in all this?
  19. Rose- I want to come to your house for science! How long do you spend on it if you do not mind me asking? I will have to check out the other classes mentioned.
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