Kris
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Posts posted by Kris
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The real question is: What does your son want, and how badly does he want it?
There's more than one way to skin a cat. Is this coach really the only one who can help this boy get what he wants? And how will they know, if he doesn't train with anyone else, if he really is reaching his potential?
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I couldn't disagree more with those who think this boy shouldn't quit this coach.
By leaving him in this situation, what is he learning? To continue to beat his head against a brick wall? How many adults would be willing to do that for as long as this boy already has?!
I think it's pretty obvious that her son isn't looking for someone to tell him how wonderful he is if he isn't. How about a little constructive criticism to help him get better? The comment that was made accomplished absolutely nothing positive. There were *so* many other, better ways to tell him how poorly he was doing -- and apparently he was and agrees with that. But the coach wasn't creative enough, or man enough, to do it.
It isn't this one little thing that has broken this kid -- it's been building for a long time. It's the final straw.
I don't blame him a bit.
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Ds is hurt and mad. He feels like he just got slammed against the wall. He has been pushing so hard for so long and he was already physically at his max. This comment just couldn't have come at a worse time.
Before this ds was okay with the coaches lack of kudos. He is a technical coach and he doesn't say you did a good job unless you did it consistently perfect. But when you get a kudos from him, it really means something. Ds was used to that but on the old team he was in the top 5 on the team, so he had a feeling of ranking on the top of the team. There was a sense of pride in knowing that. On this new team he is probably down around #20. It is an elite team and there are kids on his team that rank in the top 15for the US. There are possible Olympians on his team and this coach has coached Olympians in the past. This is why ds chose to follow him, ds knows that he is a great coach. But now, I know that the coach has lost our respect as parents, and I know, more importantly he has lost my sons respect.
Thank you for taking the time to explain all of that. Please give your son this:
:grouphug:
He sounds like a great, hardworking kid and certainly did NOT deserve to be talked to like that, especially with all that he has accomplished despite the problems he's had.
I'm so sorry he's having to deal with this -- and you, too, Mom! -- and I really hope his new coach recognizes how wonderful your son really is! AND tells him so!
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I understand why you're upset -- I totally agree with you. But, unless I missed it, you don't mention what your son thinks of all of this, other than he wanted to switch teams so he could follow this coach.
What is it about this guy that your son likes? Respects? He surely had this "style" before he switched teams, so why did your son want to follow him?
Personally? I wouldn't have put up with this kind of crap for five minutes, let along followed him to another team. There is *always* something positive to say to a kid who is working that hard, and in your son's case, you don't have to even look very hard! What he has accomplished is amazing.
But I know my son will put up with *a lot* for reasons that only he understands.
The guy sounds like a total jerk -- one that has no business working with kids, that's for sure.
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I've been thinking of subscribing to the Library of America, but I've read a few reviews of the books that describe the paper in their volumes as "bible-thin."
Is there anyone who has this subscription -- or some of the books -- who can tell me if this is the case? Some of their volumes are 1,500 pages, so I can understand the problem, but I don't like books with thin paper, especially for these prices.
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Over the past two years there have been 2 incidences where I am almost positive I returned a book to the library only to end up being charged for it because it never got checked in.
I know there is a possibility the books got lost in the house or car but I haven't seen them and lost things always turn up around here.
I'm just frustrated. Am I the only one this happens to?
This has only happened to me once, so far. I was *sure* we put it in the outside return bin, but I had The Kid walk it over there, and on reflection I suspect it got stuck and someone else snagged it. I always check to make sure they fall in.
I told the library that I was sure we had returned it, and they believed me, only asking that I bring it back if it turned up -- under the seat in the car or something like that.
Actually, this made quite an impression on me. I don't lie and I don't steal and I get really fed up with the way businesses anymore feel like they have to treat all their customers as if they're just there to rip them off. The last time I had to return something to Wal-Mart, I half expected them to finger print me, they made such a production out of the process. I was totally ticked off, and told the guy, "It must be something to have to deal with nothing but thieves and liars all day."
He just looked up, really sad, and said, "You have *no* idea." I don't, really. It's amazing what people will do to get something for "free."
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And now I am curious -- darn it! This is going to bug me.
I remember in Biology class we did a test -- had to stick our fingers and everything, and I was a big baby about it -- putting a drop of blood on a strip that told us what type we were. Did anyone else have to do this? Pretty simple --
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As for my sons, I have to say I'm horribly uncomfortable discussing it. Why? Because I admit that hearing about adult men that are virgins creeps me out a bit. I don't know that I want my boys to wait, if only because of the stigma that is attached to it.
I haven't read all the other responses to this thread, but this got my attention.
I have not been uncomfortable at all discussing this with my son. Maybe it's because I've had to talk to him about so many things because his Dad is gone most of the time. I'll admit that there are some questions he's asked that I've had to tell him, "You're going to have to talk to your Dad about that because I don't have a p____." But for the most part, we deal with it when it comes up.
As for any stigma that might be attached to a young man being a virgin? That, honestly, never occurred to me. I consider the stigma of fathering a child that you can't support with a girl you don't love -- or won't love for the rest of your life -- to be a much larger issue for everyone involved, especially the baby. Everything is disposable now -- including relationships.
For numerous reasons, I hope my son will keep his pants zipped. I've told him this, and I think I've given him good reasons for it, which include how important it is for a child to have two parents, as well as the disease issues. I've also made it clear to him that, while I will love him and any children he may have, he will not receive financial support from us if he decides (and it *is* a decision) to create a family prematurely. If he's old enough to make the decision to father a child, then he's old enough to shoulder *all* the responsibilities and consequences that come with it.
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I know this is probably too late to help you, but the last time I had a horrible toothache and couldn't get to the dentist for awhile, they told me to take one Ibuprofen and two Tylenol -- and it worked like a charm. So well, in fact, I almost forgot I even needed to go.
I don't know what all the medical ramifications are of this combination -- I'm sure someone will. I just know it worked and it was cheap. :D
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I *used* to know.
Pretty sure it's A, O or B, positive or negative. :D
Same here. I knew at some point, but have since forgotten. All I can remember is that it's the most common one -- I think! :lol:
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And another option -- never get the shot, sometimes get the flu, sometimes don't -- always get over it when I do.
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I think it was the air on the submarine. My poor dh. I feel guilty exposing his folly. He really has excellent taste 98% of the time, but that 2% he goes big!!!
I have do have a love for other cultures, particularly African, but I don't tend to decorate ethnically. As a matter of fact, he knows I don't like knick knacks.
I don't want you to judge my dh to badly...the fresh water pearls were gorgeous.:D
Jo
You have me beat. My octopus can't top that. But! After the initial :confused: she kind of "grows" on you! I love the bright colors!
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My mother tried to play this childish game. It didn't work.
I agree with the others to let your hubby handle things for the foreseeable future. I haven't read all the other responses completely, but someone else has probably mentioned that this will put a screeching halt to the "she's lying" garbage.
You and your husband are the "team" now, and she'll just have to get used to it. My mother didn't -- and it's her loss.
As for the kids, all I can tell you is that while all our turmoil was going on, we did the best we could to keep our son out of it, and expected him to show love and respect for my mother. As soon as she turned her nastiness on him? We didn't require that anymore, either.
My mother tried to drive a wedge between Sweetie and me for over two years. The more she found it wasn't working, the more energy she put into it until she completely destroyed any possibility of a reconciliation between us.
I can only hope that your MIL isn't that self-destructive or stupid. I will be wishing for all the best for you and your family.
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I wanted to thank you guys for all the suggestions. It's really helped me figure this out.
We found a can of the original stain. We were very *very* lucky that a little hardware store had it in stock. All the other stores I talked to would only order it for us if we bought a whole case! The manager at that store also solved another irritating problem for me (not relevant here) and I jokingly told him, "If you can do that, I will bring you some of those most AWESOME cinnamon rolls!" Well, he did -- and I don't think he believed me. Boy, will he be surprised when I walk in with them tomorrow. :lol:
Anyway --
I really like the idea of the black, distressed finish for the new cabinet. We already know that this stain we've used is pretty much black on oak, so I think I can use the same stain I already have -- that'll save us about $15.00 right there. We aren't able to get the new cabinet yet, so I really hope I don't completely change my mind in the following weeks before I can finish this up. :D
But I do have the wood cut for the doors that we need, as well as the finish pieces for the counters, and I have the right stain, so that part will be okay. Since the original cabinets were done so long ago, I know there's going to be a bit of a difference, but the existing cabinet finishes don't look "one-note" as it is because of how varied the wood grain was.
Thank you so much for taking the time to help. It really did the trick. I never would have thought of the black, but the more I think about it, the more I love the idea.
ETA: As luck would have it, the knobs that we are already using aren't available anymore at all. So that tall end cabinet will look really different -- almost as an afterthought, probably. But that's okay with me. I didn't want this kitchen to look like anything anyone else anywhere would have. I think I can say "Mission Accomplished." :-D
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Hum -- I'm thinking The Kid finally started thinning out around three or four. Before that, he looked like a linebacker -- and much older than he really was because he was tall as well as a little chubby.
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A diet Dr. Pepper. :001_smile:
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We have almost always had well water -- no floride. My son got his first cavity this year.
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I definitely concur with only putting a vented mw above your stove. That's what ours is. There's no way we would have put a mw that does not vent *well* over the stove! As it is (a well ventilating mw), we've had no trouble.
Hi -- I'm running out the door to go pick up the only can of stain in the tri-state area before someone else snags it! LOL! But I wanted to throw in here that the microwave we're putting over the stove *is* one that is designed to be put there, i.e., it is vented. The cabinet I'm talking about needs to go above it to support and stabilize the microwave.
I wasn't going to put the one on my counter up there. :001_smile:
I'm sorry I can't answer all the other posts right now. Just my luck, someone else is on their way to go get MY can of stain right now! LOL!
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:001_huh: Really? How sad is it that I actually think that sounds cool... :001_tt1:
I think it's kewl that you think it's cool. :lol:
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Oh! I thought the microwave was the Home Depot Girl's idea and you were just okay with it (that's where mine is, and I love it, btw).
Ah! I'm sorry! No -- what happened was we asked her if we could put the microwave up without a cabinet and she said no. So after we explained the problem, she suggested one of the unfinished ones.
Sorry 'bout that! :001_smile:
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Besides, with that kind of care and feeding? In 40 years Lucky will be a heirloom. :001_smile:
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I think I would put open shelving up there.
You would be able to avoid having to match doors, knobs, wood and stain. Just paint the shelves the same color as the walls.
Or you could do a smallish pot/pan rack.
But -- I want a microwave up there. :lol:
I'd *love* to have a pot/pan rack and, actually, we were going to put one where the window is now, but decided against it.
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Was it in "Hawaii" where it was mentioned that women got pregnant on the voyages? Anyway, they said, "They, obviously, made their own privacy."
:001_smile:
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Books on my nightstand waiting to be read. . .
Forget the book list! I want a nightstand that would hold all of that! :lol:
I am sooooo pissed at ds's swim coach..vent
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Not everyone in the world is that strong. And you're not a 14 year old kid.