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elegantlion last won the day on September 18 2013

elegantlion had the most liked content!


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  1. Ds' voiced changed and he starting growing a moustache at about 12-13. He was then wearing a men's size 9 shoe. That's where his feet stopped growing and he's about 5' 7" to 5' 8". This is normal for men in our family. He's about the same height as his dad and my dad were.
  2. My information is from two universities in the field of history. While a syllabus might be available, previous materials would not unless offered by the leaving instructor. The only time I've seen it is if there is already an established syllabus for a standardized survey level course. Historians tend to craft their courses in very individual ways based upon their own expertise. I do know there are instructors in other disciplines who inherited materials but only because they were given the class on a late notice. There are adjuncts, not full-time faculty.
  3. Ds would not have fit in at public school. I didn't, hated the experience of high school and we have similar personalities. DS became an adult with his self-esteem intact - something I didn't have. He's always fit in with older people, most of his friends are older. Because we were a tech family, we were pretty liberal with computers & the internet. He now does computer programming for fun, was a RA in college and is still working with one of his professors post graduation. There is a clear thread between his interests at age 10 and now. Ironically, he doesn't do regular social media, is very keen on privacy - one of the reasons he's not on social media. He's also the kid who wanted me to paypal some guy in Sweden for a video game in alpha way back in 2000 something. I can't even remember how he found out about it - but it was Minecraft when it was in alpha. I think there is a difference between tech & social media for purposes - not just as a time suck. Finding that balance for your own child and household can be challenging.
  4. I don't personally know any middle school boys, but ds (age 24) still plays video games with friends online & IRL, some quite a bit older than him. Also I don't think you can gauge maturity by grade level - that's comparitive disaster. I would consider there is more to this comment that age & video games. Per your signature, it looks like he's in Boy Scouts, so he has outside/outdoorsy activities? I know some men are concerned that their boys will grow up to do traditional "manly" things - not in a chauvanistic way - but more not living in the basement at 25 kind of way. Ex tried to get ds into sports several times, kid just never was designed for sports, but he can program his way around a computer. Public school doesn't hasten maturity and there will be plenty of talk of videogames at that age anyway.
  5. I don't have regrets about homeschooling, I do have some regrets about life in those homeschooling years. Ex-dh was controlling about finances and I really needed to be working. I do believe there was trauma happening, anytime I contributed economically to the household, the money would disappear into the black void of ex-dh's bad money management. We even sold my favorite car to help pay off some other expenses - instead the money got sucked into the next financial crisis and didn't get paid on the original expense. Ugh--- Anyway, I let homeschooling be my solace. It was the one area of life where I had some control. - except for perhaps the one time he told ds, who was struggling to learn to read, that he didn't need to read anything in the summer because it was summer. We had a chat after that, but he gave lip service to my being a good homeschooling mom but never cared to figure out why. I also think homeschooling made me feel like we had a normal life. We rarely had enough money to buy the books I wanted, but I used my time to figure out how to do it with what I had available. Homeschooling high school ended up being patchy because of my divorce and my dad's illness. I do have some regrets about that, but ds would not have done well in a rural high school. Once I started college, we survived on my student loans for a while. I remind myself when I look at the amount of loans I have, that they were survival for a while. In certain times of my life, I've quit when things get uncomfortable or hard, finishing homeschooling high school was just as much a choice as it was to prove to myself that I could finish something - ds enjoyed homeschooling. Homeschooling happens as life is happening too. My life was decent when we started way back in the early 2000s. While homeschooling stayed consistent, everything else in my life went on a downward spiral. If ex-dh hadn't been so controlling, I could have worked while homeschooling and felt more settled now. He once asked me why I didn't pursue college while we were married. I laughed at him - thinking of the laundry list of reasons why. I'm still in school - living on lousy TA stipends for reasons I'm still not sure. It's indulgent & selfish in some ways. It's reinventing myself in others, still pushing myself to not quit when things get hard. Homeschooling was part of my identity for over 11 years, I'm still not sure what the next identity is except for student.
  6. SO and I go to Aldi every 2 weeks. We spent about 20-25 minutes in the store, we have our own carts. We each buy our own groceries - he buys a lot of the dinner prep items. He also buys for his mom so he takes a bit longer than me. We go right when they open ang get out and the car loaded in under 30 minutes. When I did grocery shopping with my mom, we went to Walmart. She would spend 1 hr to 1.5 hrs in the store just for groceries and pet food. I started taking a book and would sit in the car after I was done.
  7. Besides comforts of home, I would include a decent clock. SO bought his mom one that is digital and tells the day of the week as well. It has a large display so it's easy to read the AM/PM portion too.
  8. I've done a few things over the years for computers. I currently have a Surface Go (10" model) that I take to campus. I like the portability, touch screen, etc. Plus it's not super heavy for carrying around. If you don't mind working from a smaller screen, it more affordable than the Surfrace Pro. Previously I had an 11" laptop which was great, but didn't have the touch screen. I also tried to cheaper HP (had HP for years - like them) but it was too cheap, slow processer, drove me batty. Another consideration is continue using the laptop at school and have a desktop at home. I had ds build me a computer one year and it's easier for me to work from a bigger screen. Since I'm on the computer so much, it's nice to have a permanent set up for better posture and better on my eyes.
  9. My SO cooks dinner during the week, on the weekends we get takeout or make pizzas. I haven't really cooked for months. He also refills my coffee as we sit and chat on the sofa in the morning. *swoon*
  10. I say something like friends on the homeschooling board. This is a community, one I've been glad to have over the years.
  11. I'm sorry that you are having to say no. I understand. I have to attend a funeral this week (NOT Covid related death). I'm anxious about it because I can't be sure of the vaccine status of everyone there. My initial thought was to skip, yet for a number of reasons, I really need to go. I'll be masked and not my usual huggy self.
  12. Adding to this, today I went to Ross and found a pair of Land's End starfish capris for 8.99. OMG, they are so comfortable. I've never bought a pair because $45 for a pair of cotton pants is not quite my budget. I may break down and splurge.
  13. A few other things to keep in mind, even if you're not at the point of needing to flee, but especially if financial abuse is part of the picture. 1. pull your credit report - there are avenues to keep track of that, credit karma is one. 2. know exactly what assets and debts are in the household. Know what is jointly owned and how your state laws view property. 3. If you owe the IRS money jointly, understand your options. 4. try to change address on any mailings via the Internet, don't rely on USPS change of address forms - I've seen them mess up household vs individual addresses more than once. 5. Document, document, document conversations and incidents of abuse
  14. I finally broke down and bought a custom planner from Agendio. I'm a planner snob and have never been able to find exactly what I need, so this was great. I bought the journal size, which is about an A5 - it's a bit larger than I really like but the customizations are working well.
  15. a quilt made for me by my aunts when I was a child. It has horse saddles on it - it's one of my favorite things. My stuffed animal kiwi that became a class mascot. I had chain mail armor made for it. My sword SO bought for me when I finished my master's. photos - although they are strewn throughout several rooms. That last one is hard - there are so many things that could be replaced but I'd probably grab some books. Many of the ones I have are hard to get and even OOP. On second thought, I'd probably leave the books and grab my iron bed. It's the wrought iron bed my mom used with her sisters as a child.
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