Yes, I think to some degree she came to realize all that, or at least how the CPS response was completely out of proportion to the reason for her call. But--she is an ER doc, used to being in control of situations and not being questioned, so she was pretty set on her not having done anything "wrong", and that she "had" to call because of her being a mandated reporter. And yes, a lot of people pulled back. One thing we were all concerned about was that she and her husband led a small group (remember, he was an elder), and we said how could anyone feel comfortable really sharing struggles and situations knowing there was a mandated reporter listening who clearly felt it was her responsibility to call rather than see what she could do to help?! Not too long after all this went down, our church had a seminar on parenting, and they wanted my husband and me to be on a panel answering questions and discussing parenting. We declined, saying we didn't feel comfortable discussing our parenting decisions in public like that at that time. It was a weird time. Eventually the couple left our church, and I think we all breathed a sigh of relief. My friend was able to meet this woman for lunch maybe 2 years ago, and they were able to converse civilly. My friend has forgiven her--but there is definitely no friendship or trust left, and the woman has never seen my friend's children again. And it took years before my friend was able to feel secure enough to put her kids in a co-op and do things like that. Definitely PTSD.

Boy, we have friends with this same situation. The mom was undergoing cancer treatments (ovarian cancer--it's a complete miracle that she is still alive 8 years later), and her very close friend was an ER doctor who had been tons of help in getting her into specialists, etc. But friend was also a mandated reporter, and she felt that the dad got too angry at one of the kids (just frustration in a very stressful time--nothing physical at all), and so she called CPS "so they could get the dad the help he needed". Well, after a dragged out investigation with pompous, know-it-all investigators, TONS more stress, and anger-management classes for dad (who is literally just a regular guy, NOT an angry abuser--we are still good friends and see him regularly), the end result is a completely severed friendship, a move, and an extreme fear/distrust of authority--and a difficult time trusting friends. It's been so awful to watch. It actually caused a rift in our church as well, because the friend's husband was an elder, and we all said why wouldn't the friend have gone to the church first if she was concerned, instead of CPS, because we actually cared for the family and wanted to help them, not hurt them further. It really was so ridiculous and hurtful during a time when the mom was already having such a difficult time. Calling CPS definitely did nothing to help her fight her cancer, that is for sure.

Me: went to a private Christian liberal arts college, got a lot of scholarships (NM plus other merit ones), especially for the first year. Second year had a small loan to cover the amount from the scholarships that didn't renew. Got married after my sophomore year to a captain in the USAF (who went to USAFA, so had no debt), and he paid off my small loan, and then paid the balance for my remaining 2 years. DS1: 4 year AF ROTC scholarship, plus smaller scholarships to help with room and board--we ended up paying around $6,000 a year for him. DS2: got UAH's great scholarship deal of free tuition and housing that isn't offered anymore. We end up paying about $4000 a year for food and fees. DS3: a junior now, but much less academically motivated than his older brothers. He is working and dual-enrolling for this year and next. I expect he will either keep going at the community college, or go to a local university and live at home. I don't expect really any merit aid, since he's not really doing extra SAT prep or anything. The remaining 7: who knows? We have had 2 in college the past 2 years, and we will continue to have 2 in college for the next 20 years, except for the years we will have 3 in college. 😮 Dh is retired from the Air Force as a lt. col., so he does have a decent retirement pay, plus he makes good money as a government contractor. He'll keep working as long as possible. And we'll keep encouraging dual enrollment during high school, living at home, etc. I do hope some of the others are motivated like the first 2 and will get good scholarships. Ds3 has asthma and food (nut) allergies, so he knew he wouldn't be able to be in the military--and that realization seemed to just kind of deflate his motivation, like he couldn't do that, so he just kind of gave up. Honestly, how we will pay for their college is not something I lay awake and worry about. We will help as much as we can, and if they don't have scholarships, then they can work, co-op, whatever. I've even talked about the possibility of getting a trade certificate and working for a bit, and then going off to college. There are a lot of good options, and I know each child's path may not resemble anyone else's!

My second son's girlfriend is at Cedarville, majoring in linguistics with Arabic and Spanish being her 2 languages that she is fluent in. She is a junior, and she spent spring semester of her sophomore year over in Spain, and then fall semester of this school year over in Jordan. She is hoping to do government work with her linguistics degree. Cedarville is a wonderful Christian university!

It's a "Spicer" home, built in the late 70's. I'm definitely not impressed! It's a tri-level, and the back top part overhangs the bottom part by a good foot and a half. That's what is causing all the problems, I think. Things to think about if we ever build our dream house . . . Man, I'd love to grab a bite and complain, but we've got our Bible study tonight! I'm planning on doing a lot of complaining there though . . . 😂

Oh man, this has been the craziest day. After much blowing with the hair dryer (I fried it, sadly) and maneuvering space heaters around, etc., the pipe finally thawed and water came out of the shower. Yay! Except that I wasn't right there when it happened, and when I came up maybe 15 minutes later, the bottom of our shower (which is tiny) had completely filled up and was overflowing all over the bathroom floor. Ack! I turned it off, mopped everything up--but the shower drain was also frozen. What on earth?!? I have never even heard of such a thing! Eventually my dad had to come over with his shop vac to suck up all the water in the shower, and then he poured hot water down the drain, a cup at a time, while trying to snake it. It took him almost 2 hours to get it to drain. 😳 And the flood caused water to get down into the basement room underneath our bathroom. Gah. I am really ready for this day to be over! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better one!

And of course DH is TDY for the week in D.C. Sigh. We just moved here to Ohio in August, so this is our first winter in this (40 year old) house. I was a little worried about the kitchen sink, but it was fine. Instead, it is our master shower that is frozen. The faucet isn't on an outside wall, and the bathroom stays really warm at night with the door closed, so it never even crossed my mind to be concerned or to leave it dripping. There is a panel in the ceiling in the basement room right under our bathroom. I'm assuming this is because the previous owners had problems here, although they didn't say anything to us. I took the panel off, and I can see the pipes coming out of the utility room toward the wall, and then they turn to go up the outside wall, so I guess there is a short section along the outside wall, and that is where the frozen part is. I blew a hair dryer at the turn up in the ceiling for awhile, and I also blew the hair dryer at the wall in the shower for awhile. I put a space heater in the basement room to see if I can get it even warmer, but I don't think that's going to really help the pipes along the outside of the house where the problem must be. Any other ideas to try?? It's so frustrating! I just wished the previous owners had given us some warning so we knew what to look out for. Sigh.

My friend has a top loader probably 5 years old, and the lid locks when you start the cycle, so it's a pain to add stuff. I've only used it a few times when we were back in VA visiting, so there's probably some way to unlock it, but it's definitely not easy to just throw stuff in there, unfortunately. I would never have guessed that for a top loader!

Young's is awesome. Their ice cream is so creamy, with tons of fat. Soooo good. My favorite is also chocolate peanut butter. Once you had their chocolate peanut butter, no other one will satisfy, lol. The reason it's so cheap this weekend is because they are celebrating their 150th anniversary! I think it goes through tomorrow. We may head over there for lunch. And I'm the same way with organization . . .

We were all the way over in Sterling, so it was hard to get down by Ft. Belvoir (am I correct in remembering you were down there?). Now that we are here in Ohio, and people in my area talk about how it's not worth driving alll the way down to Costco (literally 15 minutes away and never any traffic to get there), I laugh and laugh! But the one thing I absolutely do not miss about NoVA is the traffic!

I'm in for sure! 😂 Seriously, we should totally get together. I need some mom friends, lol.

Ha, I now live in the same area as Arctic Mama, but alas, I would be no help in the home organization battle. The only thing that helped me purge was moving from NoVA to Ohio last summer after 14 years in NoVA. And I still didn't get rid of enough because my garage is jammed full, and we still have boxes in my parents' basement . . . No disembodied bald baby heads though. I can say that definitively!

Goodness, I am the same way! We are in a really small house right now that we bought (and hopefully will rent out once we put out house in VA on the market and sell it), so I am always glancing at what is on the market here in OH to see. When I see a house I like, I am constantly going back and forth between the outside pictures and the inside ones to see what windows are where to try to get an idea of where the rooms are and how they flow into each other. I always wish for a floor plan!

The study guide does have some good questions for review, but honestly, you are better off with the Preparing for Biology AP book referenced above. That book is definitely the gold standard for AP bio prep (ha, my amazon review is one of the top ones--I'm "Mom of Many", lol). I got my study guide used really cheap, so it's nice to have, but not essential. I have used the "Biological Inquiry: A Workbook of Investigative Cases for Campbell Reece Biology" book to supplement labs. There are case studies in there where you use the data and think through situations, and I have found them helpful in getting students to think scientifically. I don't know that there is an answer key though, although some chapters have the answers online.

We stayed in NoVA for 8 years after dh retired. He worked as a contractor at the Pentagon for those years, and eventually the commute got to him (and the traffic and all the people got to me), so we finally moved to Ohio (where my dad retired and I went to high school and college) this past summer. I don't think you need to move for the sake of moving. Your dh is probably not much younger than mine, because my dh only served 23 years. I knew I didn't want to stay in NoVA for forever. For one thing, our medical stuff is at Bethesda, and I knew I didn't want to be driving the Beltway for all my doctor appointments as we got older! But I also just wanted to get away from all the traffic and stress of this area. We only have 2 kids who are out of the house so far, and one is ROTC, so I for sure don't know where he will be. Second ds is not, but again, no clue where he will end up either, so we didn't base our decision on where our kids will end up, realizing they definitely won't all end up close by. We bought a really small house in Ohio, and once we sell our house in DC, we will hopefully buy something bigger and rent out this current house (a base is here, so high rental market). I would like to look for something with a master on the main level because DH has some old knee issues from his academy days, and I think he will start having more issues as he gets older. That is definitely something to consider, but I don't think it's urgent. I hope you get some clear direction! I wasn't ready to move 8 years ago--but I really was last summer. So time may have a way of clearing up your thinking! Good luck!

My oldest sons got my girls the game Code Names, and we really enjoyed it. It is a thinking game, but not a strategy game where you have to think 5 moves ahead, you know? I dislike games like Risk, and this was really fun. Our 9 year old played too, but she has never been the "Codemaster", the person for her team tasked with giving the clues to help her team figure out which words are theirs. We also really loved Telestrations, which is sort of a mix of "Telephone" and Pictionary. Up to 12 people can play at a time (we got the big party pack), and it goes really quickly but is absolutely hilarious.

I have 2 bottles of Costco vanilla. One was over halfway used up, and I filled it up the rest of the way with imitation vanilla to stretch it. The other is "pure"--but I still find myself using the mixed bottle almost all of the time, and no one cares. When I empty it, I'll fill it with more pure vanilla as well as some imitation. To those wondering what I bake to use so much, I have 10 kids, and when I bake cookies, etc., I usually triple recipes. You go through vanilla quickly like that! The positive twist is that the eaters do not really care about potential slight nuances of vanilla flavor, lol.

You know, I've read on here before about drivers marking the whole truck delivered, but I had forgotten. I really, really hope that is what has happened--although it is still quite annoying, as she was waiting for it all day since Amazon said it was supposed to be delivered! I told her to check with the neighbors too. She lives in a row of connected one story apartments, so there is no big porch or anything--just a small area by the front door.

So I ordered a book from amazon for my niece down in Florida. It was supposed to be delivered today, but it never arrived. I checked the delivery status, and it says the book was delivered--"handed off directly". Clearly it was delivered to the wrong address, although the address it said it was delivered to was the correct one. How do I go about complaining about this?? I'm so mad. This niece is in an abusive relationship. Her dh left her to work out of state (he's technically an illegal alien), but he's coming back next week for a week to see the kids, and I'm so afraid she is going to be manipulated back into a relationship with him. The book I sent was "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft, and I so wanted her to be able to read it before abusive dh comes back on the scene! Grrrrr.....

I've enjoyed all the books by Sam Kean (Disappearing Spoon, Violinist's Thumb, Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons, and Caesar's Last Breath), as well as ones by Malcolm Gladwell (Outliers, Blink). Both are authors who make you think, but write in very engaging fashions!

Are we the same person?!? I have 10 children, and I am expecting to have a lot of grandkids. But I feel like I will be such a failure in this area! Gifts are so not my love language either, and I *rarely* buy cards, except, as you said, if I want to encourage a friend. I am hoping that I will be able to establish a relationship with my grandkids (and daughter-in-laws--I'm particularly concerned by this) in other ways than by sending cards or the perfect gift. I have worked to diminish expectations for birthdays and holidays. You really can't control what a spouse will do, for example, and I don't want to set my kids up for disappointment. And then you can be pleasantly surprised if there is something more than you were expecting!

My oldest son worked for a moving company this past summer. It was so interesting to hear his perspective, as we have been on the "other" side quite a few times as a military family. He had some good stories! He was always so appreciative of tips. It really is a hard work. Most of the times the crew all got the same amount, but there were some days when there was a marked difference in how hard different crew members worked, and the homeowner tipped accordingly for different people. We tipped $20/person, and they were a really good crew. I just didn't have any more cash! DS told us that during the summer, it's better to do things like subs because pizza or hot meals can just kind of sit in your stomach when it's really hot. We ended up getting our movers a tray of Costco sandwiches, plus chips and grapes, and that went over well. I had never thought of that before and I think we got pizza for our movers almost every time before, lol, at least one of the days. Our movers never stopped for any snacks. DS said he really wasn't ever concentrating on food, just getting the next thing.

This is a super timely thread! DS17 was just asking about this. He doesn't feel like he sleeps well, and in doing some research, he came across the idea of a weighted blanket and decided it sounded like something to try. I'm looking at all the suggestions!

Ack, I totally meant to type "heart"! I shouldn't reply late at night, lol. I thought about a good friend of mine whose dad raises beef cattle in our area. I'll ask her where he gets them butchered and see if they have hearts to sell. Thanks for the info on food as well. I've read other threads where you've talked about raw diets with interest, as we've been thinking about getting a dog for awhile, so I have tried to read all the dog threads. Definitely worth pursuing.

Great advice, guys--I really appreciate it. I don't think the walks have been long--just around essentially a block. Our neighborhood has lots of cross streets and few cul-de-sacs, so there are lots of ways to walk a short distance. And it's not that she's bothered by the harness either. She will happily wear it and romp around the yard. It's just leaving the yard or house that she balks at. But I'll shorten the walks even farther, take more of them, and use the little training treats even more. I had gotten discouraged with them because I didn't think they were working at all. I'm glad to know she's not abnormal, and that it is fine for puppies to start taking walks later! I definitely don't want her to become fear aggressive either, so we are really trying to expose her to lots of friends, both people and doggie. She loves people (well, except for the elderly man raking his yard with a bright yellow rake yesterday morning. He came over to say hi, but she looked skeptically at his rake the whole time, lol.) so hopefully we are fine there. But she is so scared of any other dog she sees on her walks, and she has never had a bad experience with any mean dog, to my knowledge. The ones we have met, she will eventually wag her tail around and be playful, so hopefully we are on the right track there too. And Bill, thanks for the tip about beef liver. I will try to figure out how to obtain some. Where do you get yours? Thanks again for all the advice!