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RosemaryAndThyme

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About RosemaryAndThyme

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  1. My response is based on my own experience, so take it for what it is. 🙂 I despised my given first name from an early age. It never fit me. I asked my friends to call me a different name, which changed to different ones as I got older. I later found out that I was supposed to be named after a paternal great-grandmother, a name which I wasn't even aware of but loved the moment I heard it. That name would have fit me much better, but my mother balked at the last minute and named me one of the top names of that time, which was very generic and not me at all. I changed my name legally after I became an adult. It wasn't the great-grandmother's name, but it is much better nonetheless. I am much happier with it. It's difficult to explain, but while the parents may have indeed given great care in naming their child, that name may not be the right one for the child - from their own perspective. Since the child will have to live with that name, I think (from my own biased experience) that they should have the support of the family if they choose to change it. Changing the name does make it more challenging when obtaining documentation such as school transcripts, driver's licenses, etc. Remind the child to keep anything with their old name, even if it is not 100% official. They may one day need these document to prove they are who they are. Various entities are used to people changing last name such as in marriage, but proving first name change is far more difficult. Documents with photos help.
  2. I probably would, and my family would as well unless we were aware of cleanliness issues. Apparently, quite a few people don't. We recently attended a potluck dessert. There were two home-made cake bar pans, including mine. The rest of the contributions were store-bought - doughnuts, chocolate cake, danishes, munchkins, etc. All the store-bought goodies were eaten, and the home-made remained untouched except for what my kids and one other person took. I thought it was interesting in the light of this thread.
  3. This is a great topic, Ruth! Thank you for starting it! My perspective on being the Homeschool Parent In Charge has evolved over the years of homeschooling my kids, and will likely continue to do so as I graduate my oldest and continue working with my youngest. When my kids were little - preschoolers and early elementary age, I tried to be the fun teacher and searched high and wide for fun activities. I own tubs of various manipulatives, activities, games, kits, etc. This did not work at all. My kids are not interested in school as fun or experience. They see it as a means to an end, and now I do, too. I realized that the beautiful lapbooks, models of Pyramids, and Cuisinnaire rods were really just for me, made by me, and my kids were just grudgingly following along. It's actually quite freeing not to be doing those anymore. They simply don't need manipulatives or visuals; they see them as time wasters - the work takes longer If left to their own devices, my kids would spend their time gaming and possibly doing a bit of crafts. Interest-led is not a good fit here. I make my expectations clear and my kids know that they have to finish the assigned work, with excellence. One of the things I find myself saying the most is "if the the publisher didn't want you to do this math problem (paper, reading, etc.), it would not be in the book." We do lessons the way the curriculum provider designed them with very little (and usually no) change. Like 8FillTheHeart wrote, I think that there is no clear method that would work for either of my kids at any age. It even varies day to day. Some days my oldest needs to be prodded every 15 minutes to accomplish anything and others she gets all her school done before I even remember to ask. Overall, my parenting-teaching style is firm and academic. Neither of my kids is easy going. They require a firm hand or nothing will get done, but as they get older I see some glimmers of initiative and self-regulation. I try to cultivate those and step back a little until/unless they don't accomplish their goals.I need to provide firm structure for both. They need to know what is on the list for school each day so that they know when it is done.
  4. Thank you so much to all who have replied! I really, truly appreciate your words. I don't want to be the person who ignores the situation. I especially appreciate the thoughts shared by those who have gone through this as caregivers or are going through it for their own illness or condition. It is so hard. I think that I really am afraid of saying the wrong thing, but I am starting to see that saying the wrong thing sometimes is still better than saying nothing. I am somewhat close to some of these dear people, but not to others. Some are more of a colleague situation, and I don't want to overstep boundaries or get too deep into their lives. I still want to listen, talk to them, and support in some way if they want it. Thank you all again. Your posts really help.
  5. Hello dear Hive, It seems that so many people are seriously ill or terminally ill in my acquaintance. What do you say to a person who is not going to get better? What do you say to someone who is taking care of a terminally ill person who is also seriously ill themselves? What do you say when you see these people on a semi-regular basis for months or years? I find it so difficult. I want to show that I care, because I do, but I don't want to make it worse for them. The "get well soon" thing is just not going to work, nor will much optimism for the future. I would very much appreciate suggestions. Thank you in advance! ETA I help with meals and practical things. I am looking for ideas on what to say. Thank you!
  6. You did it correctly. There are different ways to get it done, and if using a simple timer works for you, doesn't create any issues with the student such as timer anxiety, then it's perfectly fine. You are looking for progress as well as accuracy/speed. Over time, the speed should increase. By the end of 8/7, I think, my daughter did her speed drills in about 2 minutes or so.
  7. We've rented cars in Europe and have never needed an international license, but you should check country rules just to be sure. As mentioned in other posts, definitely request an automatic if you are not comfortable with the manual shift. Someone mentioned that you need to look behind you as well as in front of you. What that meant to us in Germany (and other countries also, but Germany in particular) is this. On the Autobahn in places there is no official speed limit. In practical terms that means that there will probably be people who are driving faster than you, but this works well. If someone pulls up behind you, they will put on their left indicator signal, which means they are politely asking you to move over so they can pass. You move to your right, they zoom, and everyone is happy. It's easier to just keep right unless overtaking to be honest. When we rented our car last time in Germany, the rental company asked us not to take their vehicle into the Eastern European countries, which were all listed specifically on the rental agreement (such as Poland, etc). When we drove through Switzerland, the main thing that the border control cared about was the road tax decal. I think someone mentioned this upthread. Even though it was a rental vehicle, we had to buy the decal at the border control office. The decal is good for a year, I think, but we had to buy it anyway. It wasn't very expensive. As mentioned upthread, the road signs are excellent, particularly in Germany and Spain, but you need to know how to use them. Unlike the U.S., the signs do not show direction, i.e. South. Instead they show the next large city in that direction. Once you figure this out, it's easy. I like to have a paper map so I can trace the road and see what next big city is, and then we are good. Nav is a good thing to have, too. Some rental cars/companies have this. Request in advance just in case. I agree with taking full insurance, including scrapes and scratches. We didn't want to expose our own insurance. Your credit card company, as long as you rent the car with their card, may offer some insurance - check if it works in the countries you are visiting. Neuschwanstein Castle is beautiful, very much worth the visit. But. You won't get to see it the way it is shown on postcards. Those photos are taken by people who climbed a very steep mountain nearby. It is on a steep hill, and the last part of the climb is quite steep. At the bottom, there are (or were) notices to the effect, advising people with physical challenges to take a shuttle or a horse cart. When we visited the castle, it was snowing and the road was slippery. The shuttles were not running, although the castle was open to visitors. The horse carts were still operating, but the wait was long, so we just walked/climbed. It was quite a challenge, but we are not exactly in great shape. Since it was snowing, there was really no line to buy tickets. You have to wait for a tour in your language. We had to wait until there were enough people who wanted a tour in English. There were several groups that went before us that had Chinese language tour. ETA I forgot to mention that the same road/expressway can have different names or numbers. So on your Nav it may be called I5 or something, but what you see on the road sign in front of you is something like K28. This is normal - the same road has a EU name as well as a country name. This is where a paper map is useful because it shows both the EU and local country name for the road. It's confusing for the first hour maybe, but after that it's fine. ETA 2 In cities we mostly parked in underground garages or other garage-type structures. I never figured out how the on-street parking meters worked. 🙂
  8. Our church has small groups, and our previous one did, too. They handled it differently, and I liked both implementations. Our previous church had small groups for specific reasons, with a start and end date, such as to go through a book or watch/discuss a video series. This was done, I think twice in the several years we've been there. Our current church is growing, active, and has Sunday school (multiple classes based on interest - fundamentals of the faith, discipleship in general, women's Bible study, etc.). There are mid-week services with a mix of classes for adults and children, monthly mens' breakfast, womens' dinner, elder (65+) dinner, young adult (18-30) lunch, etc. There are also small groups, which meet weekly in people's homes. These run in 12 week sessions, with a month break, and then another 12 week session, etc. Everyone is encouraged to sign up, but there is no pressure to join - the pastor mentions it one or two weeks before each session starts. People who want to join do, change groups if they want, etc. Each group has a leader or a leader couple, and the leader typically doesn't host in their own home. That makes it a bit easier and reduces the burden. The host only needs to tidy up, set up chairs and make some tea or coffee. Everyone brings dessert or some snack to share, and the leaders facilitate discussion. I am an introvert, and I don't feel pressured at all. I can sit quietly and listen, join in if I want to, but nobody will call on me or make me feel uncomfortable. We share prayer requests, praise reports, talk about life in general, and discuss that week's sermon or anything else that may be pertinent. We've moved around in several groups over the years, and I've never felt bad for leaving or felt that I had to explain why I wanted to try another one. It helps that groups have defined start and end dates, so it makes it easy to change. We've made friends and grown closer to people that we would not likely connect with beyond saying hello, and I really like that.
  9. Oh, it's awful, isn't it? I get it like this sometimes when I am recovering from a bad cold and it can last for a few weeks. What helps me, and I know it probably sounds silly, but it really does help - is sipping apple juice through a straw from a kids juice box. The little straw is key - it makes me sip slowly, and there is something in the apple juice that soothes my throat enough to stop closing up and settle. Sometimes I need two juice boxes, but usually just the one. I now keep some juice boxes in the house just for this. My mother carries a small thermos bottle of hot water with her everywhere as she is prone to sudden coughing fits. Sipping hot (as hot as you can handle) water helps her. Big hugs, I know what this is like.
  10. I cut out a small piece of Telfa non-adhesive dressing and slide the rest of the Telfa piece carefully inside its covering and store in a ziplock bag. This is instead of gauze. Then I cut out small strips of Hypafix (there is a grid line printed on the adhesive covering ) to keep the Telfa in place. I find that it works well. There's also Hypafix Gentle Touch for extremely fragile and sensitive skin, but I have no personal experience with that type. I can tolerate regular band-aids for short periods of time, but for anything requiring a longer period of time I use the above combination.
  11. If you don't feel like driving, or even just to look at itineraries to get some ideas, I recommend Rabbie's Tours. They leave from Edinburgh and are really good. My husband and I visited Edinburgh a few years ago and took two of their tours. We love history and nature, and we enjoyed the Loch Lomond and castles tours. Our guide was fantastic, and we got to see amazing things. What I like is that the tour coach is small - it can only handle fewer than 20 people, and because of that the company can take you places that regular sized buses simply can't fit - smaller roads, old local pubs for lunch, etc. Our guide sat with us for one of the meals (you choose, order, and pay for what you want), and it was great to chat with him. We only did the day tours, and I don't know what their overnight tours are like. We went in early March, and yea, rain gear is a must, but don't let the weather deter you from doing things. I don't know the ages of your children, but I think they only take kids aged 5 and over, that's the only thing to really know. Oh, and they leave promptly on time, so you need to be there about 15-20 minutes early. ETA As I was writing this post, I was flooded with great memories. One of the most fun ones was making an acquaintance with Hamish, the Hairy Coo on our tour. We stopped ... somewhere..I can't remember exactly... on the way from Stirling Castle. It was clearly a touristy spot, but it was fun and understated. Here's a link to a blog post (not mine, don't know the author) with some pictures if you are not familiar with these animals.
  12. I would go with bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. I would not want to go through chemo, surgery, and potentially radiation more than once if I could help it. The nurse was wrong to tell you that implants need to be replaced every 10 years. That was the case in the 1960s and some of the 1970s. The current implants have a rate of approximately 6% to 12% rupture in 10 years based on clinical studies and depending on manufacturer. The article quoted below has failure rates for multiple manufactures, this is just a sample: "A 9-year average core study of Sientra cohesive gel implants published in 2016 consisted of 1,788 patients with an MRI cohort of 571 patients. The 8 years MRI cohort rupture rates were: 6.4% for primary augmentation, 5.2% for revision augmentation, 2.8% for primary reconstruction and revision reconstruction data is not currently available. Additionally, rupture rates in the 10 years MRI cohort for primary augmentation was 9.0% " source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5409893/ There are no issues with imaging of the implants themselves. They do not impede MRI or other scans. They are imaged on a regular schedule to check for integrity. If you were to choose a flap-type reconstruction, it can be easier to recover if the tissue is taken from the back rather than the abdomen according to an acquaintance who's had both types of flap surgery done. Please note, however, that the flap surgery may need to be done twice to achieve the desired look because cells tend to die at rather high rate.
  13. I was at work, in an office building a bit away from downtown, around 18th Street or so. We had an amazing wall of windows overlooking the downtown and the Twin Towers. At some point I got a text or a message saying that something was happening with the Towers. I thought to myself, no way, I can see them! Then I looked up. Just at that moment, the second plane hit the tower. It was surreal to watch. Somehow my brain supplied that it was there to help, but of course that was not the case. After that, my memories are in snippets. My coworker on the floor, crying hysterically. All the subways open, free of charge, all trains leaving the city. Everyone just walking away, away from downtown, in a daze. Some people covered in soot. Every once in a while we would all turn back and just look. The towers were still standing then. One of the towers collapsing, the top section sailing down, intact for a while, before breaking apart. Fighter jets in the sky, with a vague thought of I hope they are ours. I don't remember exactly how I got home, but it was ok somehow. There was no work the next day. My husband and I went back a couple of days later as his company was helping set up a counseling center on Pier.. something, I don't remember. We had to get passes and went through a Federal command center or something like that. All the major agencies set up in one giant space, with telecom reps and all utilities. Very organized. Got spare phone batteries, all charged from the phone company. Setting up computers in booths that were already set up with desks, chairs, and tissue boxes. A food area set up, piled up high with donations. That was incredible, that part. There were plates of home-made peanut butter sandwiches next to fancy catering boxes. You just took what you needed and went to work. Smoke. Lots of dark and then later white smoke. Had a friend who worked in one of the financial center buildings. He was late to work and missed the attack. Should have been there. Have neighbors who did not come home.
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