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rainbowmama

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Posts posted by rainbowmama

  1. I have a preschooler who is growing out of his toddler bed. I am debating whether to give him his new bed for Christmas. Mostly, I worry about how the other kids will feel about him getting a huge, expensive present, much more expensive and bigger than anything they will get. However, he needs a new bed ASAP anyway, and like a Mom in December, I am tempted to put it under the tree as "something he needs."  Have any of you given a much larger, more expensive gift for one child than the others? How did the others feel? My husband thinks the other kids won't care, since it's not a toy.

  2. I have a four year old with an October birthday who has never been in school. He has a mild speech delay and is a very spirited child but is starting to read and do other kindergarten math, despite being athird child. He misses the public school cut-off for kindergarten by less than two months: I am less than thrilled with the idea of him being one of the oldest kids in his class. I am struggling with postpartum mood issues following the birth of our fifth and thinking about putting the kids in school next year if my mental health doesn't start to improve soon. I'm really not sure what to do with him. My options are:

     

    1) public preschool: it is taught in part by high school students as part of a child development class, but other than minor material fees, it's free and five half days a week; I'd have to drive him there and back and it's not very close; it's also an academic preschool where he likely knows the material - however, he would get additional speech therapy there (currently, he gets private speech)

    2) play-based preschool at the nature center: two days a week, very close, but he will not get additional speech therapy there

    3) private kindergarten: the only way to accelerate a kid currently where I live is to put them in private kindy at four and then enroll them in first grade at the public school the next year. I'd love to find a play-based half day kindergarten for him next year, but most schools that will take a four year old for kindergarten here are academic

    4) Continue to homeschool, I guess, and just send the rest of the kids, but really, he's probably the kid whose education I want to outsource the most, as he's so spirited

  3. Oops! I didn't read this carefully enough. Sorry! I don't know how to delete this post. Maybe you'll find it useful anyway?

     

    This is an interfaith practice, which has a non-theistic option
    https://www.owlsdaughter.com/the-2017-advent-sun-wreath-ceremony-year-thirteen/

     

    Our family counts down to the solstice, so we started last Sunday. Here's a link: https://www.owlsdaughter.com/2017/11/tonight-we-begin-the-2017-solstice-sun-wheel-prayer-for-advent/

    • Like 2
  4. I went through this with my second child. It's hard not to freak out. The lead source ended up being outside of our apartment, on our fire escape that we also used to walk up and down to do laundry, and we were tracking the lead into our home. As soon as we found the source, his levels went back to normal right away. `It doesn't seem to have hindered him in any way. Best of luck.

  5. This wouldn't upset me, and the offer would tempt me, though I would definitely feel guilty knowing I couldn't reciprocate and feel hesitant about letting the child go with an unrelated family so young. I did not have a honeymoon when I got married: we went to the court house and then he went to work. I've traveled very little as an adult due to the costs of having kids, and I'm grateful that I had a couple of opportunities to travel as a child. Who knows if my child would ever have an opportunity like this? 

    • Like 7
  6. We do a big spread of about 6-7 cheeses -- hard, soft, blue, and baked Brie -- plus smoked salmon, prosciutto, pate, membrillo (quince paste). None of the ingredients is Christmassy on their own, but having so much on one table says Christmas for us.

     

    Another idea is a frittata. You could cook it ahead or, better, make ahead and pop in the oven Christmas morning. Make one with red peppers and something green -- chives, spinach, etc.

     

    Fwiw, I was thinking Christmas as I cooked Thanksgivibg food, lol. I may add a smoked trout mousse to the first idea, above.

     

    What are you serving the cheese with? He really needs to watch his carbs, so cheese and crackers aren't the best choices. I tried cheese and apples one year, but it was a flop.

  7. Christmas is the fellowship and the joy of the season. Remembering past Christmases, celebrating life together. a time to stop the busyness for a while and just enjoy each other. It is not the presents. Its the family time. 

     

    I understand your feelings, but this is the first Christmas since my son died and the first time we will not be together at Christmas. Even though there is a new baby and a new future son-in-law, it will not be the same.

    :grouphug:

  8. In my family this would be a huge host and GF failure. The offenders would be the butt of jokes for years to come. Leftovers are a given. Family members are responsible for seeing to/caring for their invited guests. We buy/have extra plates (to-go containers) so people can take leftovers home. I had seven ppl. avail themselves of this option for Thanksgiving and we still had leftovers for ourselves. There is always plenty of food. If I invited someone to dine with my Mom's family, which is known for lilliputian portions, it'd be my job to warn my guest to eat in advance or save a plate.

     

    The first time I hosted a large holiday meal, I did so because I had a newborn (plus a couple very young children) and didn't want to go to multiple holiday gatherings. I thought it'd be just easier to host my own, even though I'd never done it. It was a mess: I stayed up until midnight prepping stuff for Christmas for my kids and the brunch before. My kids then started waking at 4AM asking when they could get up, even though I had been up several times with the baby.. I burned stuff. I forgot stuff, both stuff I needed to make dishes and also to start dishes until it was just too late. I was really exhausted and miserable and with some postpartum weepiness, I begged my mom to bring some extra breakfast stuff from her home. I was pretty much on the verge of tears all day. I'm really grateful that people only said nice things to me anyway rather than making me the butt of jokes for years.

    • Like 2
  9. I can imagine this happening at my MIL's house. I don't think I have ever been to a holiday meal that she hosted that there was enough food. Once she invited everyone (about 25 people) over for a holiday dinner. I asked what I could bring and she said she had it all covered, so I just brought a dessert.  We arrive for dinner and she informed us that she didn't feel like cooking after all.  And she didn't.  There was no supper, only desserts. My DH and his siblings went through the fridge to pull out lunchmeat and leftovers from earlier that week. I think we ended up leaving and going to get fast food.  After a decade of that, we now eat before we go or bring lots of sides, no matter what she says she has covered.

     

    My in-laws are like this. Whenever I've gone over for a holiday meal, everything is divided pretty meticulously by the host so that everyone gets a fare share and there generally isn't extra. I've definitely left hungry. They really value frugality and minimizing waste. It was really weird to me the first, but now I'm used to it and just bring a lot of food (and blame fussy eaters so as not to embarrass them).

  10. If the mom is dropping off, it's okay to specify a certain kid. I do think for the first few playdates at that age, though, welcoming the whole family is ideal: I won't drop one of my kids off at someone's house unless I've spent a little time in the home and that generally means bringing my whole brood. It sounds like this is not a new family friend though.

  11. People who stutter can certainly be attorneys! Stuttering is not a death sentence.

     

    I know it's hard but PLEASE try not to panic. Even if you aren't panicking in front of your son, he may be picking up on it. And that can make the stuttering worse.

     

    He's in speech therapy. You can address this and deal with it!

     

    I worry that he's picking up on my anxiety. He definitely stutters more with me than his siblings. Maybe we should drop the homework until we talk to the therapist, because both his stutter and my anxiety are the worst during this.

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