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Showing content with the highest reputation on 04/13/2021 in all areas

  1. This death is still a bit new to both of you, and people get weird about deaths. I'd just say, honestly, "Sis, I can't talk about the house with you any more. It's just too upsetting." If she pushes, then you could say "It reminds me that he didn't leave me anything. I don't mind that you and your mom got everything, but I don't want to talk about it with you anymore." And then change the subject every time it comes up.
    14 points
  2. Okay, I can see that. But I can also see why she can't see that. A will is a will. He could have left it all to his dog, and everyone would still have to respect his wishes and live with the outcome. I imagine, if she had any thoughts about what he 'should have' done with his money -- that that ship sailed when it was legally determined what he *did* do with his money. I don't think respecting the done-deal of an old man's last wishes should reflect on her, or impact your relationship with her. Maybe just mention to her that the house is a 'sore point' for you, and you'd rather
    13 points
  3. It sounds like she feels the wife deserves the house. A wife of 35 years (so very, not a newlywed ). Why is that so offensive? I'm kinda stunned that he didn't leave the house to the wife in the first place. The denial of the wife's inheritance is offensive to me. Sounds like a common theme with him. Sorry to hear of your loss.
    8 points
  4. It sounds to me like she's trying to talk about it in a way that makes it sound like she doesn't want/need the house from him. Like she *knows* that this is probably a sore spot for you, but she might not know how to deal with it with you, so if she shows you that she is willing to just give it away, that you won't be mad at her for it? (I'm spitballing here.)
    8 points
  5. I've been avoiding this thread the whole day because I do not know what to say even now. I've been personally hurt by these verses because for a time my dad believed in raising me gender based and my mom agreed because she believed in submission. She finally rejected the idea because she saw how it hurt me, went against her wedding vows and spoke up for me. My dad changed. It changed their marriage. The idea that man is not equal to woman and there is a hierarchy comes from these verses in Christianity to me. This is not the teaching of Jesus. It is a hill I will die on. I've always
    7 points
  6. I am not even going to wade into this, even with my masters of divinity, because I do not smoke pot and I am pretty convinced that that is a requirement to stay sane if you're discussing the Trinity in any real detail. In short....there's Scriptural evidence for this (Jesus praying for this cup to pass from Him but "not my will but Thine"), but historically, this has been a source of a ton of arguments and even schisms in the Orthodox church. It's a mess. Pot is needed.
    6 points
  7. So let’s assume testing helps identify educational neglect by exposing kids who fail a test. Then what? Do we force those children back into the system? What if they live in low performing school districts where failure rate is also rampant?
    6 points
  8. He has learned that some host moms stress about food and has decided he doesn't want to offend you by handling it wrong. It sounds like you are doing exactly what he needs, if he's started expressing some preferences after only a few weeks. He'll likely relax a lot more as time goes by. Good job noticing and trying to help him with this!
    6 points
  9. I can’t share this on FB because I don’t want the drama from the anti vax contingent. But I’m working an overtime shift today(after working last night and not sleeping lol) going to homebound residents and vaccinating them. One of those residents is my beloved grandmother, which is why I volunteered for this. Several others are elderly relatives(we divided the homebound vaxxes by location, and today’s location is the small town my family is from) including my immunocompromised aunt. I am absolutely exhausted after working 72 hours in the last four and a half days, but I’ve never been
    5 points
  10. I will take on more monitoring and regulation from the district when THEY let ME come in and monitor and regulate them. I can't imagine how angry it would make me to have a state that does a poor job of educating many or even most of its children asserting their right to evaluate how I educate mine. I live in Texas (no notice even) and I have never met anyone IRL who didn't take their HSing very seriously. I would separately add that there is currently a largely unnoticed battle going on in our society between two rival ways of seeing the government's relation to the human person:
    5 points
  11. We vaccinated many people’s homebound grandmas and grandpas today. Everyone was so thankful and overjoyed. Then after the shot we stayed for 15-30 minutes to monitor for immediate allergic reactions. So many people are so lonely, and the place I was today is too rural for high speed internet or cell phone service. One man cried when I gave him his vaccination, and then was even more happy when I sat and talked to him for 30 minutes at his kitchen table. He has seen very few people in the last year and can’t figure out Zoom or other technology, even if he had access to high speed interne
    5 points
  12. Per this, the Genesis scriptures about a woman being a “help meet” to a man, indicate that she is to be a co-warrior of the same nature as the man. https://simplemomentsstick.com/2014/02/helpmeet-or-co-warrior.html The word used for helpmeet in the Hebrew is the same one used to describe either Israel’s allies or God as our helper. So...women aren’t just cute, little helpers for men, like some sort of administrative assistant, but are on the same level as military allies or God Himself. I can understand mutual submission to one another, but not unbalanced submission of only one
    4 points
  13. So what would the desired outcome look like? See I think education is broken because we don’t have a shared vision. Parents in my district think our local school is the most amazing place. Our local school is high performing, but if you ask me, it’s the same as any other district. I mean what they teach is the same. The difference? More parents pay attention in my district so the pass rates are high, while the neighboring district has a larger proportion of parents who don’t care about the education. But if you actually sit in either classroom, you get the same math curriculum and th
    4 points
  14. That answer--a conflict between the incorporate human mind vs the (undivided) divine mind makes the most sense to me from the perspective of an interested outsider to Christianity. Thank you. Bill
    4 points
  15. I really think it sounds like she does see that, and is just being awkward in how she handles it. Sounds like she is trying to push to you the idea that she won't profit off of it anyway, likely, because step mom may sell it and use the profits to move elsewhere. In her head that makes it better and more fair, since she wont' profit from it either. That doesn't make you feel better, but I bet money that is her intent.
    4 points
  16. I don't know why you would expect that to change now? He didn't treat you like a daughter when he was alive. I wouldn't expect him to change immediately before he died....and to have the thought to change his will in the process. My relationship with my mom is very distant. She told me that she purposefully raised me to be more independent than my siblings. It worked. LOL. I don't expect that to change on her death bed. (She has been sent home with a referral to hospice which she declined). She told me recently, that she left the house and the contents to my 4 siblings. Not in a snide way
    4 points
  17. Yes, that could be the case. So, Scarlett, I’d just quietly let it be known that it’s not her fault that he left the house to her, but that it’s a painful reminder whenever it comes up in conversation that he never cared for you properly.
    4 points
  18. I think this as well. Like, she feels awkward that it was left to her, so her answer to that is to say it should have been left to step mother. If it had been, that would alleviate any favoritism between you and her.
    4 points
  19. Most people consider a non-custodial parent whom they have seen a handful of times since early childhood to be an 'extended' family member. That person's barely-known wife is even further distant, especially from the wife of the stepson. (But I am sorry that you are upset. It is upsetting to be excluded. There is nothing wrong with your reaction -- all of your feelings are real, and all of your feelings belong.)
    4 points
  20. We have moved a lot over the last few decades. But I have always nixed any positions dh has been offered that required us to move to a high regulation state. It certainly isn't bc I don't have high performing students. I want to be left alone to educate our children in the way I know is best for their individual needs. There was another post about how homeschoolers are letting down other homeschoolers by not mentoring within. I read that and about choked. Homeschoolers today are relying on everything but themselves and their abilities to be homeschooling teachers. Handing off educat
    4 points
  21. Yes! Exactly! Writing out answers to what they think are dumb questions just to prove they read something they didn't want to read so they can get a good grade to use to apply to college so they can do 4 more years of boring work they don't want to do so they can get a job and someday a decade from now maybe earn a paycheck has the reward SOOOOOOO far removed from the actual effort it basically doesn't even register with their brain. I mean, they can repeat it in theory, but in actual brain chemistry terms, it's not registering. I'm still convinced teen boys should work - not go to schoo
    4 points
  22. I would pull him for the rest of the year and see if he could go on some sort of Outward Bound type program or something similarly challenging. But only if that would be something exciting for him, otherwise he might feel like he was being sent away. Do you live near any ranches or farms? Do you know any woodworkers, glassblowers, potters, cooks, gardeners, archaeologists, ironmongers? Any activities like that where you live? Like @theelfqueen suggested, something Real for him to do. Preferably physical, preferably outside. Do you have any alternative schools where you live
    4 points
  23. Bill, FWIW as a Christian, I do not believe what you describe here is reflected in the Bible at all. There is only one moment in which Jesus is recorded as having a different desire than the will of the Father, and that is when He asked for the cup to pass him by (iow to not face his torture and crucifixion), but then chose to continue on with the plan (continue on through his death and resurrection). This was explained to me by a teacher I respect that Jesus' human nature was weak in that moment ("I wish I didn't have to do this"), but that his divine nature and his connection within the Trin
    3 points
  24. I would agree with saying (the next time the house comes up in conversation): "I would rather not talk about the house. It reminds me that our father didn't even mention me in his will." Then she knows. If she was previously completely clueless, now she has a clue. If she was previously awkwardly trying to smooth things over, now she knows that isn't what you need. It also does not blame anyone except the guilty party, nor does it look like any kind of greed.
    3 points
  25. https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/eradication.png
    3 points
  26. It’s perfectly fine to say, “Can we please stop talking about the house? Every time I think about it twists a knife that he didn’t treat me right.”
    3 points
  27. I'm sure this isn't what you are intending. Posting this, makes it look like you are just after the money.
    3 points
  28. I think this is the way to handle it as well. But switch out the “your mom” wording since it wasn’t her mom. It’s ok to quietly say, “It hurts that he didn’t leave me anything.” I think your sister would understand that wording and will probably realize she was being a bit tone deaf by talking about it with you.
    3 points
  29. This sort of attitude requires a tremendous goodwill and collaboration. I am having a really hard time imagining this happening here. So far all I have seen is hostility directed towards homeschoolers. My district where we pay so much tax money won’t even reply to me when I inquire about AP testing. I can’t imagine what you are describing in the states.
    3 points
  30. @EKT, here is that genius transcript template we're speaking of, that is both by subject and by year. (Credit goes to a lady named Dori from one of the yahoo homeschool forums from years ago, I believe - we've all been passing it around). I have removed personal info and grades, but left in the course names to give you an idea. Excel_transcript scrubbed.xlsx
    3 points
  31. I think that depends on perspective. Lifelong full obedience to a human being would definitely diminish me.
    3 points
  32. I did subject transcripts, and it really wasn't a problem. I listed one credit for each subject area ("World Literature: Ancients" for English, "Ancient History" for Social Sciences) and explained in the course descriptions that they came from one integrated course. That way, the transcript easily speaks for itself without the course description.
    3 points
  33. A couple years back I saw a woman in NY interviewed about schools and the disparity between the public schools and other options. She was such a believer in the public school system, she sent her kids to a low performing public school in a poor area even though she could afford to send them to private. Her idea was her kids would enrich the school. This is the same argument I’ve heard where homeschoolers and charter schoolers are called selfish because they pulled their kids out of a poor performing school. She is choosing her values over her children’s education, that is her choice. No one
    3 points
  34. Gently: for a future engineering student who was "bogged down" by algebra I, going slowly and thoroughly is more important than doubling up on a "pared down" version of math just to race to (pre)calculus. I teach physics at an engineering school, and the students who struggle do so not because of calculus, but because their algebra skills aren't rock solid. That causes them to fail chemistry, fail physics, and fail higher math. If algebra 1 was a struggle, then do a full, thorough algebra 2 program and take whatever time he needs to master the material, as opposed to racing through a curr
    3 points
  35. Although I've dealt with school refusal before, dd2 really responded well to distance education with weekly time on campus, so that's no help to you. I will say, though, that you can't force a teen to school, and that the anxiety around school is 100% real. If you are committed to school, try the smallest steps you can in the process of getting there. For some families, it's sitting outside school in the car, for others it's waking teen at normal 'school time'. With the aim of progressing a little each time, and not allowing complete avoidance to make school anxiety even worse. This did
    3 points
  36. With my son, I told him that he had to do SOMETHING because video games all day wasn't healthy. Then I picked 4 different volunteer activities, and let him pick one. (I'd tried saying, find a volunteer job but that didn't work. I had to do the work for him of picking a few choices and putting them in a document with links so he could click and see what each one was). Then I drove him there. For us, video games were more a symptom than a cause. When we filled his time with other things, the video games took on less importance to him. For him, he needed to do something tangible, physical,
    3 points
  37. Sounds very normal behavior to me for a person who is new to your family and has made the experience that some families have very rigid rules around food. It sounds like he is trying not to offend or anger you by making wrong decisions. The poor kid. I guess he has been scolded in the past for wasting food, for making choices the hosts did not approve off, etc. I would totally mother him when it comes to food, even if you wouldn't do that to your own kids at that age, because it will take a while for him until he feels secure that he understands how he is supposed to behave around food in your
    3 points
  38. Good morning! I saw dh off and did my bible study groups online. meals breakfast and lunch done 4 Zoom sessions 2 down, 2 to go more laundry pay bills/update checking finalize tomorrow's tutoring sessions' lesson plans work on co-op classes
    2 points
  39. Eek, It's been 14 years since I taught that class and I regret to say I'd no longer be qualified to talk on the subject. If I could ask DH he might refresh me, but I'd also have to admit I am not making assets for the website so... not an option, lol. I do know that the answer has something to do with Christ being wholly human and also wholly divine, and so it is not as much the Son submitting to the Father, but the human will submitting to the divine will [of Christ]. The Divine will of God [who includes both Father and Son] is never at odds with itself, though. At odds being defined as
    2 points
  40. Lol....weirdly just hearing someone say ‘you have a right’’ made me feel better. Of course it isn’t ‘worth it’. I love my sister.
    2 points
  41. I'm pretty sure you are right. The Trinity and say, multiverses (or any big physics stuff) make my brain hurt, lol. Self medicating is required. Maybe peyote or acid though, not sure Pot will cut it with that stuff.
    2 points
  42. 1. oddly, I have a cat that has been caught stealing salad multiple times. Weird cat! 2. Fancy Feast classic pate style (not the chunky stuff) is pretty much all meat. The chunky kinds tend to have veggie protein to bind them into the "shreds" or whatevr, but the pate style are low carb and high protein, and as they are canned, they are high in water content. They work well for a lot of cats, including diabetic ones, etc. Don't get me wrong, humans will think the ingredients are gross (things like liver, lungs, giblets, etc) but cats love the stuff. Friskies pate style isn't bad either,
    2 points
  43. Me too. I don’t think @KidsHappenhas posted since the original post. I hope you are ok.
    2 points
  44. [Okay, I'm putting this back up. I was worried it might be offensive in some way. I'm not Lutheran, but find it amusing. This was in response to Katie's comment about the Trinity and inadvertent heresies. 🙂 ]
    2 points
  45. I look at the story differently. I see the purpose of the story as showing the moment--metaphorically speaking--when people became fully human--more like God--in gaining the capacity to differentiate right from wrong, good from evil. What would we be as a species without moral discernment? Like beasts, no? Given we are not perfect--none of us--it naturally flows that having the capacity to understand good from evil but then failing to make the right choices has its problematic aspects. We suffer. And others suffer when we fail. But that makes us human. Without moral discernment
    2 points
  46. I’ve heard regentrude say this before, and I’ve also heard other mathy people on this site say it as well: you must get Algebra I down cold before moving on. Consider what she’s said. She knows what she’s talking about.
    2 points
  47. I'm so glad you can vaccinate your grandmother!! What a blessing!
    2 points
  48. I probably behaved in some of those ways when I was in foreign countries. Partly this was because we never ate out when I was a child: I remember the two occasions when I went to a restaurant in the UK before the age of 18. Partly I was just bewildered by the menu. Even in the States - I am a native English speaker - I would be continually wrong-footed. I'd order a salad, expecting to end my meal with it, and it would arrive first; I'd order pancakes and be given this stack of 'weird wodgy things' that I didn't fancy that early in the day; I put cheese sauce on my veggies at someone's hous
    2 points
  49. Could it just be cultural from his native country? In some countries it would be impolite to indicate preference as a guest?
    2 points
  50. So far: Coffee, grocery pickup Today, I need to: Continue the front flower beds Finish purging file cabinet Dinner-a ground beef dish Make salads Slice hams and get the meat and bones into the freezer Clean the floors Dust Laundry-done Amazon return-decided to keep it Call the bank-done Call the inusurance company-found what I needed Work in bedroom
    2 points
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