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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/25/2019 in all areas

  1. 13 points
    Due to some sticky issues with her previous owners I've been asked not to share about her on my regular social media, but they don't come here, and I have to show her off to SOMEONE! So, this is our sweet 11 month old foster weimaraner - she's a blue, and she's sweet, and she's LOVING life with a yard and other dogs and attention and medical care!
  2. 8 points
    We have news! accepted at : UCSB, UCSC, UCMerced, UCIrvine, UCRiverside. waitlisted at UCLA and UCDavis.
  3. 7 points
    Imagine how much worse she'll feel if she can't restrict and uses the expensive soap! Money guilt on top of hand washing shame. No, I wouldn't do that.
  4. 6 points
    Love the poem! I have had a good reading week. This week I finished The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, which I mentioned on last week's thread. I have a hard time with contemporary stories, too, mostly due to explicit s**. I found the story of Indian immigrants fascinating, but a few explicit scenes almost ruined it for me. I'm glad I finished it, but it gives me pause about reading something else by her. News of the World by Paulette Jiles audiobook--WOW! I bought this one sometime during an Audible sale after seeing so many rave reviews, and they were all right! I LOVED it, and the narration made it that much better. HOWEVER, I started another audiobook by Jiles (The Color of Lightning, I think), and two chapters in and I had to give it up. Another thing I can't stand is explicit violence, and that one--WHEW! By the second chapter I had heard more truly terrible stuff (a Comanche and Kiowa raid on a Texas ranch) than I think I've ever read in my entire life. (Apparently, I'm just a baby when it comes to adult books. ) The Maid by Stephanie Land--I really enjoy memoirs and personal narratives. This one is about a single mother's struggle to care for her child and keep her head above the water financially (and even just to keep her and her daughter housed and fed) while working as a maid in the Pacific NW. By the end of the book I was wowed by her perseverance and just how much she survived through dogged determination. If you like this sort of thing, I recommend this one. Still reading: The Penderwicks in Spring (aloud), The Chosen, and Farewell to Manzanar--all with and for my children. I'm also still slowly reading A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Peterson. New this weekend: The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton (print book) and Beneath a Scarlet Sky (Kindle) by Mark Sullivan. I still need to decide on an audiobook. After finishing one Jiles and rejecting the second one, I opted for catching up on a few podcasts instead of starting a new one. I also blogged! I reviewed (more of a personal reaction, really) The Most They Ever Had by Rick Bragg, and I continued my chapter-by-chapter blogging of A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. Thus far I've read twenty-seven books in 2019! That's quite a record for me at this point in the year, I think. I set my Goodreads challenge goal at sixty books for the year, but at the rate I'm going, I'll far surpass that. I think I read something like eighty books last year, but in January I didn't want to overshoot. Maybe I should've set it at 100! LOL Have a great week, fellow BaWers!
  5. 6 points
  6. 5 points
    Ds just beat me into the bathroom so I can't go to bed yet. We need more bathrooms around here. ETA: Really?? A bathroom booya?? Couldn't be a music booya, had to be a bathroom booya?
  7. 5 points
    This is good news and a great start. It may have seemed like we were all jumping on you telling you not to take it, but I think we were all outraged for you. I hope you continue to make progress and reach a point where you both get the time you need and he stops taking you and all you do for granted.
  8. 4 points
    Consent is based on a contract notion of sex, which at least in our society conceptualises that in terms of an exchange of a commodity. Which is why sex work is seen as simply another version of the same thing by many people - they can't see a difference between people agreeing to have sex for personal reasons, and people agreeing to have sex for money. It's not so much because they don't really understand sex work and what that agreement would involve, which is what people tend to think is going on. Rather, it's because their view of the relation in instances that have not been monetised is the same as that for sex work. (I am not saying that such people feel the same about a spouse as they would about a prostitute, they likely do know in an intuitive way they are a really different thing. But as far as how they think about it, not so much.) And while the goal may be to protect people, as I said above, I think the framework ultimately undermines that goal. A commodification of people, in any worker relationship, end up being destructive, and it's still true wen there is no exchange of money. Human relationships, and I would say the human community as a whole, is let down by a contract view of our relations. If the idea of the social contract is inadequate for healthy community, it's sure as heck going to be inadequate for sexual or romantic relationships. I have come to wonder if that conceptualisation may not actually negatively impact people in trying to develop intimate relationships, maybe especially young people.
  9. 4 points
    I finished Frankenstein. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The story was actually quite a bit different than what I expected. I didn't expect to feel sympathy for Frankenstein or his monster, yet I found myself hoping for a happy ending for either or both of them. Alas. I also read Home by Julie Andrews. It was an enjoyable read. If there is an audiobook read by Julie Andrews I'm sure it would be lovely. Hoping to finish this week: Story of the World Volume 3 Born a Crime by Trevor Noah The Penderwicks
  10. 4 points
    I'm dog sledding tomorrow! Glad I'm mostly packed for tomorrow.
  11. 4 points
    You are a saint for adding her to your already very full plate. 💕Lucky girl!
  12. 4 points
    Had lunch drove up into the PNW rain forest. Hiked. Driving back towards the ferry. Ferry wait time is two hours.
  13. 4 points
    Had lunch drove up into the PNW rain forest. Hiked. Driving back towards the ferry.
  14. 4 points
    I'm missing a step here, Bluegoat - why are you equating "consent" with "sexual interaction as a contract"?
  15. 4 points
    This does not sound to me like the advice of a therapist who is experienced in treating OCD.
  16. 4 points
    Last week I finished two books! Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. This was good but I think contemporary novels just aren't my thing. Notes From My Captivity by Kathy Parks. And to contradict myself, I really liked this one, lol. This book is YA and has a fluffier overall feel than Little Fires Everywhere, so that must be the difference. It starts out quickly and just really pulled me in with its humor and compelling storyline. Still working on Strange & Co; Poisonwood Bible had to go back to the library but after everyone's encouragement last week, I do plan on finishing it. 🙂 Okay, now I'll go back and read the thread.
  17. 4 points
    That really depends on her personality. My kids never ever felt bad about the cost of things. So it wouldn’t add guilt but it also wouldn’t have caused them to want to restrict. Plus- I am not an expert but the compulsiveness of hand washing doesn’t seem like something that can be reasoned away by an expensive special product.
  18. 4 points
    Dd was accepted to the College of William & Mary! Last school we needed to hear from; now it's time to make a decision. 😏
  19. 4 points
    Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts. I have been working on being more firm and not taking any crap along with politely requesting that certain things change and have seen progress. Yesterday I said, "I am going running with my sister tomorrow, do you want me to go right after church or later in the afternoon?" and all went well. When he has said "no" to simple, reasonable requests (like getting a kid something at dinner) when he is already done eating and I have barely made a dent, I have quietly said, "Yes, you can. You are done eating and I am not." He sleeps in both days on the weekend (not sure how that got started, he doesn't work early/late hours) and he has been grumpy with us when he gets up. Yesterday I called him out on it and asked him to come out saying "thank you" for letting him sleep in. Lo and behold, today he did thank me and the day got off to a much better start!
  20. 3 points
    I am still in my rut but enjoying it nevertheless. I did add some new audiobooks and since I will be commuting more days of the week, there should be plenty of time to listen. Reading: "The End Game" by Coulter / Ellison Still reading some of the stories in "Out on the deep blue." These are collection of stories so I am reading a bit here and there. Audiobooks: "Venetia" by Heyer "12 Christian Beliefs that will drive you crazy" by Cloud / Townsend I am looking forward to listening to "The Year of Living Danishly" by Helen Russell. Read an excerpt on Amazon and loved what I read so far. Also, Quill recommended it so it must be good.
  21. 3 points
    Oh jeez, I just turned off my headphones thinking it was getting close to bedtime (10pm). Just looked again and it's only 5 minute of 9pm. Crap. I think I'm going to bed early.
  22. 3 points
    I love lemon bars. I haz clean sheets. I need to be human tomorrow. Don't wanna.
  23. 3 points
    Okay! Back again. Yes to Jeffrey Schwartz's approach. He has an excellent understanding of OCD and how to treat it. Highly recommended. I tried inositol and it didn't seem to do much for me. B vitamins are helpful. Sleep is helpful. Viruses are detrimental (although we obviously can't totally avoid them). Some chemical food ingredients worsen my symptoms, especially food dyes and preservatives. Medication was life-changing for me. I honestly never expected such a huge improvement in my symptoms. My doctor (who has a son with OCD himself) told me that he very much regrets not starting his own child on medication sooner, because every year his son was untreated, harmful brain pathways were being laid down. He believes earlier is actually better, and I tend to agree, if other methods of coping aren't effective. I take fluvoxamine, which is approved for both adult and pediatric treatment of OCD.
  24. 3 points
    I have severe OCD and have had it most of my life. Hell no to the expensive hand soap. I'll come back later to write more.
  25. 3 points
    I really can't thank you all enough. The support and advice I get on this board is so very much appreciated. I've ordered Brain Lock (unfortunately our library didn't have it) and I'm looking into inositol and NAC. I'll go with my heart (and all of your unanimous - so far - advice) and skip the soap for now.
  26. 3 points
    Thank you folks. 🌻 My gut feelings have been validated, which I'm grateful for. I didn't want to just dismiss the advice immediately, even though my mama heart is yelling 'don't do it!' What I think is happening is that my daughter is in a growth spurt. She's always hungry and she's needing more sleep right now. Her chemical balance is out of whack and I think this leads to an upswing in her OCD and anxiety. I think we'll likely ride this wave and then see where we land. If need be, we'll go back to the GP and take it to the next step. To be clear, this counsellor has been very helpful for my daughter overall, with her big ol' mix of issues. I just have to be okay with letting this bit of advice wash over me and let it go.
  27. 3 points
    I absolutely agree that the last thing you want to do is introduce another element of guilt and shame. Those of us with OCD already have more than enough of that! Do you have the book What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck by Dawn Huebner? There are three of us with OCD in our house and that book has been hugely helpful, even for older kids and adults. I also second the recommendation for Brain Lock, which was instrumental for me in learning to wrangle my OCD and keep it under control. I have never taken medication for my OCD - just my personal preference.
  28. 3 points
    Thank you for the book recommendation. I've read a lot, but not that one. I'm off to look it up. Oh yes, 'name it to tame it'. That has definitely helped in the past and my daughter is getting better and better at using it. I'll also look up NAC. Thank you!
  29. 3 points
    I 100% agree with all of this. This is a very intelligent child and if reason and logic were enough, we wouldn't have this issue. Thank you 🌻
  30. 3 points
    Marketing, common app making multiple apps easy, and USNWR rankings.
  31. 3 points
    I'm surprised this was even suggested. It makes me wonder if this person really understands OCD. I would focus on retraining her brain. Have you read "Brain Lock," by Jeffrey Schwartz? I found his 4-step method to be incredibly helpful for managing OCD. Here's a summary of the method: https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/managing-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd.htm. The phrase, "It's not me, it's my OCD," is a really helpful mantra and helped me to retrain my brain. Taking NAC also helps. I didn't realized the grip OCD had on my brain until I started taking this. NAC makes it so the obsessions just don't stick in my brain like they use to. NAC combined with the 4-step method has been a powerful combination. I take Source Natural N-Acetyl Cysteine 600 mg 2 times a day, but my daughter takes it 3 times a day. (My daughter's psychiatrist is the one who recommended it.) Meditating also helps. There are so many different ways to meditate, but a good place to start is the Calm app. You can get it for free as a homeschooler. https://www.calm.com/schools#teacher-form Also, eating well, exercising, and getting outside all help. Yoga is good too. I also take inositol if I'm having a hard day and need something that works fast. It calms down my brain. I would look for a therapist who better understands OCD and who can help your daughter retrain her brain.
  32. 3 points
    I have seriously been so overwhelmingly busy that I don't even have time to post what I am doing! Cleaner/stager/organizer has been here 3 days so far, and will come 3 days this next week. Trash cans are full loads of stuff to the storage unit has happened. massive cleaning/moving stuff/getting rid of stuff/shopping Realtor came yesterday to discuss details Appraiser is coming Tue to measure. Photographer is coming Friday to get pictures. It should hit MLS by the end of this week or early the following week. Meanwhile work has ramped up to a crazy level of busy. And I am supposed to take the National Boards test at the end of April. I am seriously thinking of changing that to mid June if I can. Hoping we sell quickly and can move everything out during my Spring Break at the end of April.
  33. 3 points
    I agree kids are applying to more schools (although I think the numbers are higher since I applied to at least 8 by hand 25+ years ago). I also think more selective schools have increased their marketing to encourage more applicants. More applicants means lower admission percentage and thus a more selective feel. Based on the mail my kid received, schools made it seem like she was being recruited (although she was well-grounded in the fact that they weren't!). Some parents and kids are taken in by these slickly worded emails and applied thinking acceptance was a surer thing than it really was. The push for holistic and diverse classes has increased the number of kids who apply. Some lower income families now might apply to Yale, for instance, when they wouldn't have before. Underrepresented minorities are a growing admissions group, too. And, geographical diversity is certainly a factor in some cases. If a school offers ED, their RD admission rates are going to be lower than their overall published acceptance rate. Schools love ED because they can get almost 100% yield from those students. (It won't be 100%, but it will be higher than RD yield by a LOT. Yield goes into college "rating" formulas, so colleges like a higher yield, in general.)
  34. 3 points
    I have been a huge ABBA fan since I was a kid. Robin, have fun! I wish I could be there with you. I read Evergreen - 5 Stars - I never gave it much thought, but I now realize how much I love family sagas and a good story. This one completely enveloped me. I cared about the characters and felt that I knew them. Now that I’ve finished this book, I’m already missing the characters. Whatever I read next, will likely pale in comparison. If you decide to read this, two words of caution: do not get the Kindle version. The grammatical errors are annoying. Do yourself a favor and get the hard copy. Also, the protagonist/s are not perfect. I'm talking about their values, here and there. It's a wonderful book, but if you get bothered by a bit of immorality, this may not be for you. Nothing graphic, however. Some of my favorite quotes: “Look out there at that sky, at that world with all the sparkle! It’s gorgeous, and you sit closed in here, mourning because it’s not exactly what you wanted! Do you think even lucky people ever get all of what they want? Who are you that you shouldn’t have a burden of some sort to carry, even one of your own making? So many of our burdens are of our own making, anyway.” “I owe everything I am to this country that took me in. Fools like you who were lucky enough to have been born here don’t know how lucky you are.” “It struck me funny that when we are poor in Europe we think only about getting to America so we can get rich enough to go back to Europe.” “I stand and listen to people speaking French in the stores and on the street. It’s such a pert, crisp language, elegant as rustling taffeta. I wish I could speak it. Another one of my many wishes!” “Do you know, if I could be reincarnated for a few days, I would like to be a countess or a princess in Vienna and go whirling in a marvelous white lace dress, waltzing under the crystal chandeliers. But only for a day or two. It must have been a very silly, useless life.” MY RATING SYSTEM 5 Stars The book is fantastic. It’s not perfect, since no book is, but it’s definitely a favorite of mine. 4 Stars Really Good 3 Stars Enjoyable 2 Stars Just Okay – nothing to write home about 1 Star Rubbish – waste of my money and time. Few books make it to this level, since I usually give up on them if they’re that bad.
  35. 2 points
    Accidentally got on the road that doesn’t go on the ferry but goes the long way around. Oh well. There was a two hour wait for the ferry.
  36. 2 points
    I got a lot more done, and now I'm pooped.
  37. 2 points
    It sounds like you are doing a great job of that tactful approach. You’re nailing both clarity and kindness.
  38. 2 points
    Things really are going well for her. Socially, she really likes public school. It's a better fit for her than Catholic school socially. Academically, the Catholic school was better. I don't think the English teacher is very good (honestly, she's awful), and the math teacher is not a good teacher for HER. Academically, I'm not sure the school is a great fit. She loves the science teacher. The social studies teacher is decent. She likes art and choir. I'm hoping she has better math and English teachers next year. She's even handling riding the bus decently, which we were VERY worried about. (She had ridden it the first week of school and things didn't go well. So we were driving her, but my husband took a new job that precludes him driving her, and I'm doing student teaching, which makes me unable to drive her. We were so concerned my husband really considered not taking the job, but while she doesn't LIKE it, she's coping.) She's almost 14. I asked her if she wanted to come to her IEP meeting, since I think 14 is when they are asked to start coming, but she said no. She says she feels self conscious with people talking about her and she'd rather not be there. I asked her if there was anything she thought would make her experience better, and she said no. Her tutor (who works at the autism school and is WONDERFUL for her) suggested the note card for formulas. I sent her the results of the evaluation to see if she had any other ideas.
  39. 2 points
    That's good news! Sounds like he's willing to change at least a little, so there's room for progress.
  40. 2 points
    She’s beautiful! I hope she finds a forever loving home soon. until then, I’m glad she’s getting the care and snuggles she needs at your house 😊
  41. 2 points
    Not the op but I guess it basically is a short term verbal contract that can be retracted at any time. If you don’t have that in a court of law it’s rape. For me it needs to be about more than that. There needs to be consideration of the feelings and wellbeing of both people and parties as human beings in the process. Too many men still use terms like “scoring” or “getting some” or whatever else.
  42. 2 points
    No, eyes are amber. But against the darker coat they are really striking. My husband has nicknamed her "crazy eyes", lol. Her first 24 hours or so here she was SO wound up on adrenaline that she had huge pupils in those big light eyes against the dark coat and it was FREAKY, lol.
  43. 2 points
    Aww, what a beauty!
  44. 2 points
    There are too many clothes--so we are going through them/decluttering. Thanks for all of the tips/feedback. Now to figure out what to do next.
  45. 2 points
    Oh boy Krissi, I want lemon bars SO BADLY now. 🤤 One very excited DD11 is off with Dad and BFF to see WWE live! DS is out at a sleepover! I have the house to myself! ...What do I even do?
  46. 2 points
    This is really encouraging. You reset the boundary in such a gentle and loving way, and he is responding. That's awesome!
  47. 2 points
    I finished John Bunyan's Prayer. It was...fine? I definitely learned things and was edified. The second work (the book is two works in one volume) is about coming boldly before the throne of grace, and I found the exposition very instructive; he presented a number of things in ways I hadn't thought about them before. However, the writing was particularly dense, and some sentences just really didn't parse well. And I say this as someone who has very much enjoyed reading works by other Puritans (Edwards, Owen, Flavel). I know I found Pilgrim's Progress much more readable than this (though of course that was narrative), so maybe if I read a different work of his I'd enjoy it more? Don't know, and I don't have any other Bunyan on my shelves at the moment, so it'll be a while before I attempt another of his works, if I ever do. Also, I've just realized that the first names of the Puritans I've read are John, Jonathan, John, and John. Anyway, setting Puritans aside for the moment: I started a re-read of Black Beauty as a pre-read for DD#1 (trying to select "school books" for next year for her). I think it may have to wait another year, if I end up having her read it at all. There's a lot of sad in that book. I'll finish Black Beauty, and then I'm not sure what I'll pick up next. Likely either another pre-read for DD or something by J. Gresham Machen.
  48. 2 points
    More musings . . . I wonder if you should focus on one room at a time? Once you have the kitchen under control and those habits are becoming automatic, then the kitchen is fairly easy and you can add another room. You won't get as overwhelmed and success is very motivating.
  49. 2 points
    I'd bet money that every single one of these men have porn addictions and that porn exacerbates this sense of entitlement. When real life women don't respond to them the way porn has taught them that women should, it's going to fuel their anger.
  50. 2 points
    Re: the bolded — to which you reply “tough sh!t”. Ok, ok... that’s probably not helpful. A better reply is “It’s my only time to <X>, too. See ya in a few.” <cheerful wave as you head out the door> Ignore the toys, clothes, etc. Truly. You and the kids can pick up later. Yes, ideally your dh would supervise clean-up of messes made under his watch, but right now let it go. Y’all have some unhealthy dynamics and it’s going to take work to change them. Your dh has no impetus to change because the status quo favors him. He’s going to be upset by you insisting on being treated with basic respect as a co-equal member of the team. Let him be upset. Also, give him the blessing of learning from mistakes and growing into a better parent. (Assuming no actual abuse, of course.)
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