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Showing content with the highest reputation since 11/06/2019 in all areas

  1. 54 points
    Are you homeschooling or b&m schooling? I'll tell you my story and you can take it fwiw. Honestly, the "good time to fail" around 6th grade is the exact thing the PS told all of us parents and I can tell you that they were dead wrong. 6th graders are still very much children with a ton of other brain fog going on thanks to hormones. They aren't mini adults, or mini high schoolers. They told us if we didn't let them fail that they'd never be able to handle high school, much less college. It was so ridiculous in hindsight. Had I known then what i know now I would have taken the Failure Speaker to task on the spot. But we all sat around and let our kids fail because the school told us that's what we were supposed to do as good parents. Do you know what failure tends to do to 6th graders? It tends to roll into despair and apathy. Not, "let me pull myself up by my bootstraps and show them they're wrong! I'm not a failure!"(And that's NT kids that aren't dealing with ADHD on top of it.) In my experience, if you have a 6th grader who is failing school projects it means you aren't providing enough scaffolding. I'm not saying they don't need to take responsibility for some things, but a kid who is failing despite scaffolding clearly doesn't have enough of it. Yanking more away isn't going to solve anything.
  2. 29 points
    Delivery day was yesterday. Lots of highs and lows on this one. Very grateful for the technology that will allow me to participate in family and life! Hard because it’s so THERE, right in the dining room. Turns out, I am not a good driver. 😉 ...And we need to change the bedroom door, but that’s minor. (And yes, that does say mph - they are shockingly fast, lol.)
  3. 28 points
    this Thanksgiving if my sil says she is going to bring her dressing. There is no way I'm going to serve that mushy, sluicey, gooey goop this year. Last year son in law could barely stand the smell of it on the table. It's nasty, got oysters in it. Her mother made it too. Enough years of this. It reminds me of cat hairballs. "No, thanks but someone has already asked to make the dressing this year." I guess it won't really be a lie because I'm asking to make it myself!!!
  4. 24 points
    I am a person who is committed to always learning and trying to make life better and, to that goal, I spend a good bit of the last month of the year assessing the past year and how well I have done with cultivating new habits or goals, and committing to new ones for the coming year. So here are habits and goals I improved upon this year and I would like for others to share theirs. Early this year, I started setting my alarm for 5:35, instead of rising at about 6:15. (One thing I changed is doing away with our old, cacophonous alarm clock and setting my iPad on a lovely, gentle chime that gradually gets louder.) I used to drag myself out of bed after dh got out of the shower. Now, I am up before him. I make the coffee, and I read, sometimes come here or to FB, direct e-mails (that’s another habit; more about this in a minute), I consult my calendar and make To Dos. I do 20 minutes of Yoga - that’s new this year - and 15 minutes of meditation, also new. I have inconsistently also done either specific breast cancer exercises or strength training; I would like to organize this better and be consistent with it next year. I have also done sporadic walking daily but I am inconsistent with this, too. I no longer watch TV news with dh, which has brought more peace to our marriage. I was afraid of letting go of this ritual, because that was “together” time, which we no longer have, but it was worth letting go of because I simply could not help but get angry if we disagreed about political things. We begun a dinner once a month with a compatible couple; we rotate houses and we have a lot in common. Those dinners have greatly enriched our lives. The email thing: I talked about this a while ago on here because I’ve been so bad about email management. But I began a new habit. I check email definitely in the morning and definitely before bed and I address every unread. I delete, re-route, star for action or respond directly. Every single one. I don’t let my email get higher than around 30 unreads ever. I started going to the movies nearly every week, taking a page out of @Garga‘s book. Sometimes, friends join me, but usually I go alone. I have seen more movies this year, I think, than probably the past fifteen years totaled. I have continued to seek out at least one new experience every month (most months, I have several). Sometimes these are big, like going on a trip somewhere, but often they are small, like trying a new food or shopping in a different store. I think that’s everything. A lot of my habits this year were attached to waking up and what I would do n that early morning time. What about you?
  5. 24 points
    The stone child statue at the base of the monument is no longer holding a pumpkin. Now he is holding a Christmas ornament. Also, the flowers in the hanging pots are all dead. Which is not surprising, given that it's December.
  6. 21 points
    If schools were a private company, they would refuse to serve a large chunk of their students. They'd cherry pick the ones with no learning disabilities and supportive parents. Then they'd tout their awesome test scores and brag about what a great job they're doing. Unfortunately for their statistics, public schools have to take everyone. I honestly doubt that even a third of students were "college ready" in the class of 1949 or 1979. But there were other options so no one was particularly worried about that.
  7. 19 points
    I was not completely honest when I said he is only bringing a pie. He typically brings 2, but only shares 1.5 pumpkin pies. Which is great. Almost everyone loves pumpkin pie and we definitely need it at Thanksgiving. When it is dessert time his wife generally cuts half of one pie and wraps it up for them to take home and then shares the other 1.5. 😂 Y'all...I swear I am not making this up.
  8. 19 points
    I am not a big fan of the whole 'I'm going to take some time to work on myself' spiel. How hard is it to know that you shouldn't harrass women ? Does it really take a whole lot of introspection ? I'd rather hear that people like this had decided to volunteer for organisations support domestic violence or something. Couldn't he do some shows and donate the proceeds to rape crisis centres or something ? Or could he go visit schools and talk to boys about how not to be a d*ck to girls ? Or even, ya know, just go and make amends to the women he harmed without any publicity ? Anyway, being Christian has nothing to do with it. Christians aren't hypocrites any more than people in general are hypocrites, and religious men don't behave any better/worse than secular men. It's not as if you wouldn't find areligious or atheist men doing the same type of things.
  9. 18 points
    All of them. Seriously. This is our first year that Santa isn't coming and all the gifts are from mommy and daddy. FINALLY! I get my much-deserved credit! I was tired of Santa getting all the props for awesome gifts. 😂
  10. 18 points
    In the answer key: answers will vary.
  11. 17 points
    It says it is for interns, people working at the polling station. It is not directed at voters.
  12. 16 points
    I've enjoyed starting a thread like this in past years. From 2018: Here we go again .... Have you encountered a unique gift? Post it here.. From 2017: Encountered a unique gift ? Post it here. From 2016: Have you spotted a unique gift? Post it here. From 2015: Have you encountered a unique gift? Post it here. You know you want these .....Shoes with rubber duck heels Please post your finds. Regards, Kareni
  13. 16 points
    A short response - I haven't had any candy or potato chips since July 30. I successfully made it through the fall season without any candy corn! Yay me!!
  14. 16 points
    No. Sometimes it's about the gravy. Apparently.
  15. 15 points
    The difference between your friend and me is that I don’t see this as a “Give it to God” issue; I see it as a mental health issue that can’t simply be prayed away. Your friend may be very well-meaning, but if she is not suggesting skilled professional psychiatric help in addition to the prayer she’s believes is so important, she is doing you an extreme disservice. And if you know you are a submissive person, that’s something else to discuss with a professional, as it’s something you should be working on. I don’t like the idea that you are so influenced by your manager and that you are so trusting of everything she says. What if the next person who says she can help you with your problems turns out to be a cult leader? Being a submissive person isn’t an excuse for letting other people tell you what to do and how to think — and apparently, in this case, how God feels about what you’re doing. It seems almost like you are using your submissiveness as an excuse to let other people tell you how to solve your mental health problems, and that’s not going to work in the long run. Forget about what your manager is telling you that you should be doing and feeling — what do YOU really want to happen? What do YOU want to do? What do YOU think will make you happier? And how can you get the professional help you need to make those things happen for you? Because as lovely as it sounds to just cast away your cares and give it all to God, I have to tell you that I seriously doubt you’re going to be able to do that. It has nothing to do with your faith being shaky or any weakness on your part. It has to do with you being a normal person who needs actual professional help with serious issues — and if you want to look at this from a religious perspective, how about considering that maybe “giving it to God” means having the knowledge that God wants you to be well, and He wants you to get all of the professional help that is available to you. Do you really think God would want you to shoulder all of this on your own, with no other advice than to get rid of your fitness trackers and keep praying and trying to be a better Christian?
  16. 15 points
    It becomes normalized to the point that even middle class families with a SAHP send their preschoolers off for hours a day to a preschool. Full day kindergarten isn't just for kids who "need" additional instruction time. Last I heard, none of our regular elementary schools in our city even offered half-day because there isn't enough demand. If schools are open for additional child care hours for the at risk kids, more and more parents will choose it just because it's there and because child care (even for your own kids) is hard. As a society we need to put more value on in-home care and the benefits of a stable, loving 2-parent home where children can learn valuable life skills. When 5 year olds spending 10 hours a day in a government institution becomes "good enough" we're all screwed.
  17. 14 points
    Put the leaves in your table. Find the good napkins and placemats! Put up your Christmas tree so the kids/grandkids can decorate it. Make up your guest bedrooms and put signs on the doors that say "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!" so your kids won't go in there and nap on them. (Remember to take them down before the actual guests get there) Drag out the highchair for the youngest. Stock up on the wine for the oldies. Check your pie supplies!! I'm excited.
  18. 14 points
    We have a new puppy (YAY). He is not handling the crate at all. He cries and is miserable. He is crated at night and wakes up about every hour. He gets reassured he is okay and we are here and he will go back to sleep. Repeat again in an hour. However, during the day, he cries immediately upon being put in it. It tears me up. Our other dogs adjusted pretty quickly, but this little one seems to be having a much harder time. There are at least 2 days this upcoming week that he is going to have to be crated and left alone. The first one he will be left for about 2 1/2 hours. I am worried sick he is going to stress himself so badly that he gets physically ill. He is very young (7 weeks) and I do think that is playing a big part in how it is for him. Give me all your ideas and tips for helping him learn the crate is his friend. I do have lots of super soft blankets in it and a toy. He's not impressed. Edit: Thank you all for the wonderful advice!! I am going to try to answer questions here to make it easier, hopefully I will remember most of them. We do have another dog who is crated and adores her crate. They can't be put in together due to space but also because she won't tolerate it. She is still adjusting to a new puppy being around. In the 7 months since we lost our elderly dog she has gotten quite used to being the queen. This puppy does have 2 siblings that have already been adopted out. He is absolutely too young to be separated from mom and siblings and while I am not happy that he was, there is nothing I can do about it, and my only concern now is taking care of this sweet puppy and giving him all he needs. He will NOT be left alone in his crate. I have someone staying with him for my husband's dr appointment tomorrow and all other plans for the week are either canceled or he is going. I realized in reading all of your wonderful replies and advice that we don't have a crate problem we have a "puppy too young to be alone" problem. His crate is actually a carrier. It is what our other dog has and like I said, loves. I will be making notes of all of your advice and implementing many of the ideas immediately. Thank you all for also being kind about his young age. I would never separate a puppy this young, but it wasn't my decision, I just want to help him in any way I can and give him all he needs.
  19. 14 points
    Why would anyone assign a cooked dish to someone traveling so far or staying in a hotel? That's completely nuts!! That's the person you either invite to come early and help cook something OR assign drinks/napkins/bakery pick-up to OR they can help with clean-up. Two-day-old road casserole sounds gross and unsafe. The original OP's brother IS cracking me up. It's so extreme it's funny. I have a brother who is LITERALLY a felon and he wouldn't be that socially inept. My family is so snarky we might have to put on a play so he can WATCH someone be him and hear how ridiculous he sounds. I'm sure his kids are embarrassed. The packing up the leftovers thing is hysterical. I would've told him "There are no leftovers. We ate the whole pie." just to see what he said to that.
  20. 14 points
    I want to address the bolded particularly. Extending the school day for this reason smacks of the school system becoming an orphanage in all but name. I'm not sure that helping kids in bad home situations by putting them in school for longer days is the way to fix that problem. I'm not saying you thought it was an okay reason either, I'm speaking to society as a whole.
  21. 13 points
    Yesterday at a big box store I was walking around and in a display of holiday gift packages by the health and beauty stuff was a feminine hygiene spray gift box🤔 Not sure WHO you would give this to....or how the receiver would/should respond. One of those gifts that makes you go????
  22. 13 points
    The other mom told me she's tempted to issue tickets and only allow entrance at the reception for those who RSVPed.
  23. 13 points
    Dd16 tells me that 90% of her dreams involve karate. This is not surprising as 90% of her waking thoughts also involve karate. Speaking of dd16 we met the Arabic tutor yesterday and liked her.
  24. 12 points
    This one is kind of cheesy, but every year we get the boys Lego Mini-Figs for their stockings. Lego releases little single packs, but it's a mystery grab bag -- there are 16 in the series each time, but you don't know which one you're getting in the pack. There used to be little dots on the packaging so you could kind of tell if you were getting duplicates or not, and DH would spend a while standing in the store checking, yet we'd always end up with one or two repeats. This year, whether strictly ethical or not, DH ordered extras/bought extras, and last night we sat and felt all of the packages trying to identify unique pieces in each one to determine what they were. We were able, we're pretty sure, to identify every single one in the series and return the duplicates, so that, if we were accurate in our package-feeling, the kids will have all 16, no duplicates, for the first time ever. We won't know for sure until Christmas if we were successful or not, but I really hope so and think so.
  25. 12 points
    In the last 12 months: I renewed my commitment to continued daily mass attendance. I lost a lot of weight (210 to 143) to win my HealthyWage and $2200 and got healthier. Getting up at 5am 6 days a week and exercising for 30+ minutes 6 days a week and eating Whole30 every day. I have finally got to do some traveling. A week in Cozumel with a girlfriend. A week in Punta Cana with dh. A week in Branson with dh, 10 of 11 kids and my best friends. And recently 10 days in Curacao with best friends. I basicly started paying myself before bills and learned that travel outside the states is a LOT less expensive than nearly anywhere stateside. I started pt college classes for myself. It’s been brutal but I’m hanging in there. I still have no idea what I’ll be when I grow up.
  26. 12 points
    Oh, I am sorry that it didn't work out the way you wanted. I love to spatchcock my turkeys! My mother gets up at dawn to start her turkey. I put mine into the oven at 1 and we ate at 3. It was a 16lb bird that came from the local turkey farm; it lived it's entire life 2 miles away from my kitchen table!
  27. 12 points
  28. 12 points
    Did he squeeze you in to his schedule or give you a price break because you are friends? Around here, good contractors are booked for months in advance. Maybe he bumped you ahead of other customers as a favor and that is what he was referring to?
  29. 12 points
    We signed up for next year’s 5k.
  30. 12 points
    I'm a dog person (obviously). You're absolutely entitled to say no. Your house, your rules. And your ILs should respect that. However, there's a hitch here. At this late hour it may be impossible for them to do anything with the puppy. Most boarding kennels won't take not-yet-fully-vaccinated puppies (and rightly so). Even if they did, mostly likely they've been fully booked for months. Ditto for vets who do boarding. And puppies need to go outside so frequently--if they could find a pet sitter it would have to be one willing to come MANY times a day. Plus a young puppy really shouldn't be left alone like that, IMO. So if they come and puppy doesn't their only option may be to find someone who does in home boarding, or maybe they have a friend or neighbor . . . ? All that to say -- you may be looking at a case of the puppy comes or the ILs don't. I'm sorry they've put you in this predicament.
  31. 12 points
    These are what I’ve been working on while the kids are in rehearsals. (Flour sack dish towels)
  32. 12 points
    I hope you get all those things!
  33. 12 points
    I want to add a more positive note (been feeling down and I know it shows)-- For several years, we collected our displayed Christmas cards after the holidays and put them in a basket on tbe table. At dinner, we pulled one and added a quick prayer for that family/person during grace.
  34. 11 points
    Verdict is a sinus infection- getting antibiotics.
  35. 11 points
    This is not a spiritual problem. This is a problem with your brain, which is a physical organ just like your heart or lungs. It drives me CRAZY when people who would never suggest just praying and trusting God for any other type of illness somehow think mental illness is different. No. Treating mental illness with medication or other psychiatric treatment is no different than a diabetic taking insulin. Please consider medication if you haven't already. I am a believer and I have (and will always have) OCD, and medication has been life-changing for me. I never expected it to help so much. There is no shame in it and it has ZERO to do with your faith. Hoping you find whatever help you need. I know how hard it is. Hugs.
  36. 11 points
    GRUMBLE! I got behind, multi quoted a bunch of stuff, started replying and then my screen froze forcing me to reload which erased everything! I'm outta likes, I can't write Haiku, You people are brilliant, and Bookie, I'm praying for you.
  37. 11 points
    Also, I have never had any interest in cleaning house. The idea that females are born with a liking for picking up and cleaning other people's shit is gross and reactionary. When I've been running the house, working, doing all the kid care while dh has been writing a fricking novel, that isn't because I am genetically wired to love to cook freaking three times a day and do laundry. It's socialisation - it doesn't occur to dh that he should do all that running around and let me write my book. And at the time, the cost to me of challenging that socialisation was too high. Yeah, yeah, boo hoo, whatever, first world problems - but there is no inborn female attraction to dirt.
  38. 11 points
    Meh, I don't know. When the kids were little, I worked only part time, so of course I would be responsible for most of the parenting and housekeeping. That was a fair division of labor for our family. Nobody was sitting on their butt while the other person worked, be it at home or at the job. I think many men would be able to handle things just fine - but the would do them differently and not the same way the women expect them to. They may have different ideas about meals, cleaning, tidying, how to interact with the kids, but in most cases, they would be fine if left to their own devices. They would eventually empty the dishwasher, do laundry, fix food - it may just look very differently. And we need to step aside and not micromanage HOW they do stuff. Because it sucks being told (or made to feel) that you're not doing stuff "the right way". That turns you off doing anything. ETA: My DH, for example, does not cook. He has managed to feed himself a healthy balanced diet while he was living on his own for years, and he would be able to feed himself and kids if I weren't cooking. Now, if I expected him to cook, that would be asking for conflict. I would have to be ok with him feeding the family foods that do not require cooking. That does not mean that he is doing things "wrong". He would just be doing things his way.
  39. 11 points
    Ds9 wrote an essay about snakes:
  40. 11 points
    I've been contemplating the original statement about sixth grade being a good (or maybe better than other options) time to fail. In the sense that grades at that time won't affect high school transcripts, that part is true. I suppose in theory that lessons learned at that time could be applied to positive effect in high school classes. That said, sixth grade is also a time when adolescence is going into full swing. I say proceed with great caution as to the nature of the failure being allowed. ADD in girls seems to often go along with anxiety and depression, and I can't say I've seen too many, if any, that really thrived from these tough love lessons, including one of my own former sixth grade daughters. A lot of ADD kids have the experience of being called lazy/disorganized/difficult, and it is easy to internalize that message. I think the outcome can be better if the child has solid professional guidance as far as coping mechanisms. That sort of excellent guidance is tough to come by though. In hindsight, I wish I had provided a lot more structure and guidance, not less, for my ADD kid. I also realize now, having raised three daughters into and past the teen years, that sometimes you have to provide help even when they protest. It IS a fine line though between providing appropriate help and being an overbearing parent. I'm not sure we figure out which side of that line we are on until we are looking back on the parenting years 🙂 I'm laughing about Fuzzy's comment about the parents on university-specific boards. I do feel pretty laid back in the face of what appears to be some serious helicoptering there. One woman upset when a spider showed up in her daughter's room, someone else wanting to get laundry service for the kids. Then there are people who call me controlling. All a matter of perspective, I guess. 🙂
  41. 11 points
    Y’all have convinced me. I’m sending them out. I am going to cut down on some of them who never send or who never give feedback indicating it matters to them. But probably still around 50. Part of it is that I know if I give up, I am essentially agreeing to never have Christmas cards anymore, even if it would take a couple of years for it to come to that. I simply do not wish to hasten the coming of Christmas card extinction.
  42. 11 points
    Good morning! I'm in bed pretending to be sleeping until the kids race in at 7:00 for the traditional Birthday Morning Tackle. Today I am 50 years old! Coffee!
  43. 10 points
    Yes we are finally there. Dd has just been taking it but we finally have her standing up to her. But my dd had been reluctant to do that. One because she doesn't want to be disruptive but also because she doesn't want anyone in trouble even the offender. But my dd is fiesty and she is finally finding her voice and realizing she shouldn't just take it. At least my dd has a reputation as being a sweet encouraging girl so no one is really buying the story that my dd is the bully. Thankfully. I think everyone besides the other girl's mother gets it.
  44. 10 points
    Brings new meaning to I saw this gift and immediately thought of you.
  45. 10 points
  46. 10 points
    Yes, I'm this way too. My ADD kid in college has me copied on all incoming email. I delete probably 95% of it unread, but there are things I will follow up on. ("Did you see that email about summer internships? Jump on that!") If I see a mandatory meeting announcement and don't see it show up on the shared family calendar, I send a quick reminder. I am sure to remind to pick up disability letters for college professors and ask if that was taken care of. The good thing is that as this child matures, I have to do that less and less. It's not going to be a forever thing. Now, when he's had jobs, I never got involved in that. But that was lower stakes, getting fired from a summer job is not on the same plane as possibly failing a class or missing out on a great opportunity related to future career.
  47. 10 points
    re pain that's too hard for friends and family to hold ((Chris)) and ((Danielle)). Yes, this is a thing that happens. I am so sorry, and so hope you found your way back to the people whose support you deserved... or found new people whose support you have. This is breathtakingly beautiful and life-affirming and filled with grace. This thread is making me re-think how important physical manifestations of caring (in contrast to electronica) are to the soul. I've always *liked* cards but some of these posts are stepping up my appreciation considerably.
  48. 10 points
    The first post reminds me of high school. In first year French the teacher was getting angry that no one could translate what was written on the board. Finally someone had the nerve to say "I think that might be German." Oops!
  49. 10 points
    I feel badly for the students in mandatory testing states. Imagine if you aren't going to college for whatever reason - no support system, not believing you're smart enough, finances, etc - and having to take a test you aren't prepared for, and then getting the score that says you're too dumb for college. I KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT THE SCORE SAYS but to a teenager who's maybe already in the dumps, it sure as hell feels like it.
  50. 10 points
    In accordance with ITT regulations, I survived the DMV. Had to use the LGoCID on the "valid documents gatekeeper" and show her the list from the state department. It was less nerve-racking going through airport security in the Soviet Union. On a happier note, I stopped by Aldi on the way home and they still had cheese Advent calendars in stock, so I picked that up for ds14's birthday. The cheese in last year's wasn't terribly impressive, but ds loves cheese and it's kind of a fun thing. Apparently the line in front of the store went down to the street before the store's opening - the beer and wine calendars sold out in about 30 seconds.
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