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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/17/2020 in all areas

  1. 41 points
    10 yo is really young. He might not be gay, he might just be figuring things out. I hate the pressure we put on kids that a "crush" at a young age = you're gay, it's permanent, break out the rainbow confetti. I mean, sure, maybe he is, but I guess what I would tell the parent is to stay calm. If it were my son, I'd remind him that daddy and I love him no matter what, and encourage him to be patient and give himself time to grow up before he identifies as anything. A friend on mine's 18 yo daughter was describing this phenomenon in high school: freshman year a bunch of girls came out as lesbian, by junior year they were dating boys exclusively and wondering what they were even thinking back in freshman year. Sexuality is complicated and hormones are crazy things. The fact that he's had crushes on girls suggests that if he's gay (big if, dude he's 10!!!) then he's not exclusively same-sex attracted. So, given his community's standards, if the same-sex attraction continues, I'd talk to him about not acting on it and limiting his romantic partners to girls since he's attracted to them, too.
  2. 28 points
    He also admitted he has been having chest tightness off and on for a while. Sigh. I think he's in good spirits partly because he's been worried for a while so actually addressing it is a relief.
  3. 27 points
    Oh thank you 🙂 I was doing okay physically until last night, where I managed to twist and split some of my incision while picking up a paintbrush at a pottery painting place (so weird???). That stings like crazy and they may have me come in to redress the new wound, we shall see. Other than that it’s just been trying to find a normal groove, back with school and such. I feel pretty good overall and am emotionally fine 90% of the time. Then I randomly have a thought or experience/encounter something that triggers the sadness and it flares up for a moment. But overall it feels like months have passed, not weeks, and we are used to the idea of him being gone to where it just is, rather than being something we are constantly surprised by and think about all the time. So that’s good - I begged the Lord to grant me peace and not let me fall into bitterness or despair over this and he has been faithful to me in that. I don’t feel any of those emotions, just sadness sometimes and wishing we had more time with Grant. Our biggest ongoing prayer request is that Peter and I would be of one mind with where to go from here, and make wise decisions based on our desires and particular situation. On a side note, we just got the recording of the church memorial with the side show, homilies, etc this evening, and will be uploading it to the blog by Monday or so, if anyone wants to see it. The loss situation is hard, especially when trying again is a risky thing. But we feel surprisingly not awful about Grant’s passing at this point. We miss him, but it’s not fresh and agonizing. It just is, and I’m grateful to be at that point. I assume I’ll bounce around a bit on that as time passes and his due date comes around, but right now we are okay. Thank you so much for checking in on me ❤️
  4. 27 points
    My homeschooled daughter just started full-time college 3 weeks ago and she absolutely loves it. She already has 45 extra credit points in her art history class and she says her professors know her by name, because she sits in the front and answers questions. I was so worried I had ruined her with this homeschooling thing! She had never done dual enrollment or anything - just jumped right into college. Lol
  5. 25 points
    I'm getting snuggles from my Philly granddaughter. I drove up to visit yesterday and will stay through the day today. DIL is Chinese American and they decided not to do the big family celebration this year. It requires driving 2+hrs one way celebrating all day and 2hrs home with a 6mo old. So they invited me to come visit instead. Happy Chinese New Year.
  6. 22 points
    My dd had a hobbit feast for her birthday party yesterday. Five good friends, good food, and a riddle game. It was great!
  7. 20 points
    Oh my she is total love. Well, a lot of love and a lot of work. I took her to 'work' with me yesterday....she did great on the shopping portion because I was able to leave her in the car since I had several short stops. Once I got to my boss' house though I could see she was going to wear me out. I unloaded groceries and cut up fruit and then I loaded up his laundry and brought it home with me. Today she is at the office with me and doing pretty good. Our other resident dog was here this morning and my pup was barking and barking at her. Customer came in....thankfully my co-worker was helpful and held her while I took care of the customer. We were able to wear her out twice in the morning and she slept long naps....and again after lunch...she is sleeping now. My co-worker rolled a tennis ball for her and she retrieved it and brought it back about 5 times in a row! Just amazing she is doing that with zero training. I am soooo tired though. She consumes nearly every minute of my time and I found myself thinking yesterday, 'when is dh getting home to relieve me!!' 🙂
  8. 20 points
    As an American who has waded through this entire thread, I was utterly dumbfounded at the thin-skinned, defensive responses from many of my fellow countrymen. Many of those posts were the epitome of a stereotypical American response when anything approaching criticism is leveled at us. I knew exactly what Rosie and others meant by “talking using American manners”. And I could predict how this thread would go. I’m still saddened that a question *by an American* elicited such defensiveness at the honest answers delivered by non-Americans in our community. (And not all of the non-American responders were from the English speaking, western European sphere.) And, it must be said, some of the same posters who responded defensively have themselves used over generalizations and broad-brush paintings when posting about different groups in varying contexts. Of course stereotypes don’t describe everyone in a group. No one said they did. And all descriptions of a group don’t apply to all members in the group at all times and in all places. But stereotypes exist for a reason; general descriptions based on broad experiences exist for a reason. I don’t think you, Stella, or anyone else need apologize for your thoughts, perspectives, opinions, etc. I’m just one American; however, you don’t need to reintegrate into the community because in my humble view you (a) have nothing to apologize for and (b) weren’t ever outside the community. That’s probably my American arrogance showing, no? <— last directed at me with my tongue firmly in my cheek 😉 Personally, I don’t tolerate you; I very much appreciate your varied perspectives. Frankly, they’re desperately needed as we Americans can be, and many times are, incredibly myopic.
  9. 19 points
    Not only that, but showers themselves were created so that (mostly) women could support other women while they set up house for the first time or started a family. It was about the support being given to that new family, not the price of admission to a party (most of which are not really to my taste anyway). And yes, that support was in the form of practical goods but it wasn't about having the right brand. If someone can afford to be so picky to only want Instagrammable clothing or XYZ brand, then they should save up for those items themselves.
  10. 19 points
    Update: So I did contact the SUNY school admission office and talkedto the admissions officer and explained that we don't have a cover school in this state (which is apparently what they were asking for- but the transcript be sent from a cover school). So after doing that they said okay we'll update a records to reflect that your transcript sent is the official one. Anyway, to make a long story short my daughter did get into that school.
  11. 19 points
    My little alarm clock is canine, not feline, but ohhhhh, I hear you! It’s lovely when they understand sleeping until the sun comes up! My happy news is that my dd called me all excited because she got into a Roman Civ. course this semester taught by her favorite prof in the classics dept.! She had this prof for her first semester of Latin and loved his teaching style, but hasn’t been able to get into any of his other classes. Also: THE SUN IS SHINING! People, this is big, I mean huge! The forecast says we are looking at seven straight days of not having to pretty much bathe three very muddy dogs every time they have to potty! 🎉
  12. 18 points
    I'm so happy for you!!! Hooray!!! I know your husband will probably object to this, but I suggest opening an account only in your name to have your paycheck deposited in. And if you need to use some of your money for household expenses, you can transfer a specific amount to the household account without using all of it. I think this is important enough for you to hold a firm line on it and refuse to just put your money into the main account. You might tell your husband that you want to build some savings, so that your family will have options if/when you decide to live somewhere other than the faculty housing, and that this is a good use of the money, since your job will not cause an increase in household expenses (little to no time in the car).
  13. 18 points
    Update! I got the $35 Furniture Transformations kit, and also got a different poly because I read so many complaints about the one that came in the kit. Oh, and a nice paintbrush. Did no sanding, just scrubbed it with the deglosser (comes with a scrubby pad) and then wiped with a damp rag and let dry. It looks awesome! I mean, there are mistakes where I had drips of paint on the chairs, or drips of poly, but given that the chairs are missing entire rungs in places I'm not too worried about a few drips, lol. I did the optional (included) decorative gloss only on the top of the table as it is designed to simulate wood grain via the brush strokes, and although that worked great on a large flat surface it didn't work well on the intricate rungs/carvings/etc on the chairs so we just left them and the table legs plain grey. This is a photo of the top before and after.
  14. 18 points
    My daughter reads professional journals in ecology, field biology, and Herpetology. In her case, the despair and frustration is NOT because of not knowing the science.
  15. 17 points
    I've long regretted quitting piano as a tween (over 25 years ago). And I've long wished I could converse in a 2nd language. I've finally decided that regret and wishes aren't doing a thing for me. I'm working on both -- Spanish (about an hour a day + attending a Spanish church service on Sundays), plus piano (about 30 minutes a day). I feel like my old brain is waking up and there's hope for me yet. 😉 How about you? Is there a hobby-skill-sport-activity-dream that you've picked up/developed as an older adult? What are you doing to further it?
  16. 17 points
    "Making slant eyes" at an Asian would be mocking someone to their face for what they look like, and "jokes" about farmers in Georgia having sex with sheep have no basis in reality, so neither of those is remotely on par with a discussion of how Americans, in general, tend to be perceived abroad, based on actual experiences of dealing with Americans abroad. A stereotype is, by definition, a widely held but somewhat exaggerated and oversimplified impression of a certain type of person or group of people. The caveat of "not all Americans" should go without saying — and even then, many people who responded to the OP have bent over backwards to explicitly add those caveats, and yet people still managed to take it personally. Which is kind of ironic, since one of the stereotypes about Americans is that they can't handle any criticism of America or Americans. I mean we see that all the time even within America — there is a sizable percentage of the population who feel like any criticism, even from other Americans, is totally off limits: "love it or leave it," "If you don't like it here, move somewhere else," etc. — as if loving the country and acknowledging all the things that are wrong with it are mutually exclusive. I lived abroad for 10 years and have traveled fairly extensively and I have seen and heard all of the "stereotypical American" behaviors that people are discussing here. The stereotype exists for a reason, it's not something people are making up that has no basis in reality. No, "not all Americans" are like that, but the truth is that a fair amount are. Why would I feel personally insulted by the stereotype when (1) I don't act like that, (2) no one has said or even implied that ALL Americans act like that, and (3) I find the behaviors described just as cringe-worthy as non-Americans do?
  17. 16 points
    At least, good veterinary care 🙂 My border collie is a senior, and has steadily gained and gained despite me working on his diet diligently, has a history of skin problems, etc etc. He LOOKS like a dog with low thyroid, but every senior panel came back normal. Well, this time around we have a different vet, and at the exam she expressed that even with a normal T4 she'd think he was hypothyroid, asked if he'd had more in depth labs done. I said no, and was grateful for her approach. Well, labs this time came back, and it was low normal, same as before, BUT he also has borderline low hemoglobin and slightly elevated blood glucose, both of which can go with low thyroid. So she said she can run more labs, or we can just go ahead and start him on meds and recheck levels in a few weeks! She also has me feeding him more canned and people food, and did the most thorough exam I've ever seen. Instead of writing off his slipping on hard floors as age/muscle loss/furry pads (he does have furry pads) she also found back pain (which I suspected) and also knee stiffness/pain. She put him on two different pain meds, and he hasn't slipped getting up ONCE in the week and a half since! I am flabbergasted. he was slipping and falling several times a day, and now not at all. She did also say we could order surf board wax to help his paws have more friction, but that may not be needed! Anyway, with all the discussion of treating symptoms not just numbers regarding thyroid, thought you all would appreciate that.
  18. 16 points
    What's wrong with the Meals on Wheels plan? My dad loved those when my mom was ill - it relieved him from cooking and worrying about meals, it provided one person to talk to (even briefly helped), the food was nutritionally balanced, the food was mostly tasty (there were a couple of meals my folks didn't enjoy), and it provided some exposure to the outside world (via the delivery person, opening the door, etc). I also think my dad looked forward to the one routine time/spot in the day when the meals were delivered. The meals delivered actually made two meals for them - one for lunch with leftovers for supper. My dad had delivered Meals on Wheels previously and had spent a few minutes in conversation with each delivery. Cooked meals - It's my understanding that cooked meat only lasts 3-5 days in the fridge. I'd personally be hesitant to have him eat it past four days. If he is having memory issues, I'd be afraid he would eat a past-due meal and get sick. If he is having memory issues, is the plan to supplement from the grocery store a good idea? (assuming he drives there and doesn't just do grocery delivery - which I'm assumed since you said you didn't think he would learn to use an InstantPot - I wouldn't think he'd learn to use his computer or phone to order groceries for delivery). Honestly, this is what Meals on Wheels is perfect for. It's also a nice daily check on the elderly to make sure they are okay. When he moves, he may be lonely, so the Meals on Wheels delivery may help with that too.
  19. 16 points
    That would be correct. Which is why a used gift, given with the sentiment of "I know you will love this" is entirely appropriate, even if the item isn't some family heirloom. If someone finds the exact set of wine glasses the bride wants, and has been looking for, at a yard sale for half the price of new, the sentiment is involved and there's no reason to value spending twice as much just for new glasses.
  20. 15 points
    So... you're the one who does all the work - save some of the baking - yet somehow SHE is the one who decides the rules? Uh-uh. "New Director Lady, I really appreciate that you've stepped in to run things. A lot of our back and forth has made me realize how much I was putting into this without enough involvement by others. I'm looking forward to bringing in a small donation for the bake sale and buying a few items instead of running the show. It's clear you've got it covered and that you're bringing in more new blood, which is just what we need. It's nice to be able to step back and let others take over. Let me know if I can give you any tips about how I used to do it, though I'm sure you've got this."
  21. 15 points
    But this is a house her DH loved and she didn't, that she agreed to buy reluctantly. So he got the house he wanted, he's dragging his feet getting the projects done (since he doesn't care about them), and now he's bitching she spent $1500 of their joint money buying furniture and curtains to help make the house he wanted a bit more livable for her. I don't think she's being at all unreasonable, and I think he's being really selfish.
  22. 15 points
    I'd be extremely surprised to find out that atomic scientists and Nobel Prize winners were out to irritate people, but I suppose all things are possible.
  23. 15 points
    Opossums actually almost never get rabies. Apparently their low body temperature makes it almost impossible for the virus to survive. And they're a huge help in tick reduction. They love to eat ticks. In a Lyme-infested area, that's huge. I don't feed them, except offering up all the ticks they can eat. Certainly don't plan on chasing them away...
  24. 15 points
    Regarding the bolded... if you are claiming that Americans are never rude, mean-spirited, discriminatory, or racist in the way they talk about people from other countries, then you must live under a rock. I mean there are pretty much daily tweets from, uh, "highly placed people in the US," that use terrible discriminatory language about people from other countries — and create policies that align with that language. So I find the whole "OMG we Americans would never be so rude as to talk about people this way!" pretty ironic, because I see Americans saying FAR worse things about foreigners, as well as fellow Americans with different values and beliefs, every single day, every time I open my laptop. Also, I haven't seen any references to drunk American tourists, just some who are loud, sometimes obnoxious, and often clueless about local cultures. I believe the drunk comments were made by Aussies about what they assumed to be some of the stereotypes other countries might hold about Aussies. I've seen very few drunk American tourists, but lots and lots of loud, culturally insensitive ones. Of course I've seen nice polite American tourists, too, but the loud obnoxious ones certainly stand out more. Some of the worst examples of human beings I've ever met in my life were Americans who were adopting from SE Asia at the same time I was — I could tell some "Ugly American" stories that would truly blow your mind. But no one on this thread has ever said that ALL Americans should be "put into the bad category." Seriously — no one said that. So if you're not a loud, pushy, insensitive American when you travel abroad, then no one is talking about you.
  25. 14 points
    For the first time since I had my first baby 22 years ago, dh and I are going away on a solo trip this weekend. Sunday afternoon to late Monday. Dd has agreed to take care of the menagerie. I have booked an air bnb in a scenic area a couple hours away. I'm so excited!
  26. 14 points
    Good morning! Happy Singles Awareness Day! Dh is taking me to the airport in an hour. Today is my mom's 80th birthday, so I am flying up for the weekend to celebrate with my family. It is currently -14 degrees there. Happy Valentine's Day to all the ITT Friends! You are loved! Coffee!
  27. 14 points
    No, not at all. I don't think it's reasonable to assume your animal is a welcome guest in someone else's home. We have cats and there is no way we could have an overnight dog in our home. Once my brother brought his dog. Never again.
  28. 14 points
    So, I’ve been ignoring this thread for years but here for the past week or so I finally delved in. I really need to get back to ignoring y’all again, but now I can’t... ugh.
  29. 14 points
    We didn’t get any rain on the weekend, but it is meant to rain today. Hoping it is heavy. About 100 mm would be great. Fingers crossed
  30. 14 points
    Not that one, but I went as someone’s guest to a similarly marketed event. What I would say is to remember that the people on the stage became rich and successful not by following the advice they are giving but by convincing other people to pay to hear it.
  31. 14 points
    I would not take any extra kids along, regardless of the reason. Fair = oldest getting to view colleges without sharing time and resources with siblings. Unfair = any siblings going along on the visits. I would leave all the youngers home with the babysitter. If I didn’t feel comfortable with that solution at this point, we would have one parent stay home while the other parent visits colleges. For the record, dh and I do not both go on college visits, so my advice is actually what we do in our family. One parent stays home while the other goes on the tour. The college kid needs to experience the college without siblings underfoot.
  32. 14 points
    My 10 year old is having a minor outpatient procedure this morning to see if we can get some pain relief for him. It’s a common procedure with minimal risks but he’s had a few minor procedures go really badly in the past few months so everybody’s anxiety is running high. If anyone has a moment to pray for relief from pain and fear for him, I’d be grateful.
  33. 14 points
    About a month ago, I thought we were done with college applications. Well, I knew USNA wasn't complete, but based upon the non-response from one Senator, the rejection from the 2nd, and PonyGirl's impressions of her interview, she didn't think she would get a nomination. I tried to tell her to complete it anyway, she never knew what could happen ... but as the weeks passed when she was supposed to have been notified, she just felt like it was a waste. Well, 31 January -- at 6pm, a letter arrives in the mail from our Congressman's Office. I tell PonyGirl that her "we're sorry" letter is here, and she came down to open it. Then you hear, "Oh No!" -- I spin around and say in mixed shock and horror -- "You got the nomination?" She replies, yes, to USNA AND USMMA! USNA's application closes at 11:59 on 31 January, and USMMA's closes on 1 February. While most things are done, she hasn't completed her Personal Statement, her CFA (Candidate Fitness Assessment) OR her BGO (Blue & Gold Officer) interview. (Her DodMRB (Medical) was done for USCGA). I shoot off a message to an old friend of mine (USNA '92), and he's like -- she's still got 5 hours... tick-tok! I'm like -- not sure how that's going to work, she still has her CFA and BGO interview. He asks, if she could get those done tonight, would she? Yes, of course...which led to a flurry of texts, phone calls and flying out of our home at 8pm to meet up with her BGO officer at ODU (where my oldest son works), to complete her CFA and her interview. Keep in mind, the child (and I) have been up since 0315 in the morning. She's already had two full workouts that day. She begins the fitness assessment at 8:45pm. Basketball Throw (oldest son teaches her how to do it), Pitches it 30 feet (a little below average -- but not too bad). Pull-ups -- 1 (she normally does 3, but 1 isn't bad apparently) Shuttle Run -- 12.5 seconds (kinda obvious from her turns that she's not a basketball player) Sit-ups -- 89 Push-ups -- 52 Mile Run -- 7'23" Then, it's interview time. We bolt out of the ODU gym at 11:00pm -- arriving home with 10 minutes for her to finish her personal statement (she had been working on it in the car on the way to/from meeting the BGO officer. All submitted by 11:59pm. All this to say, if your child is hoping to go to a service academy -- complete everything that is within your control. I have it on good authority that if your child is someone they WANT, they won't let something like not getting a nomination get in their way. Just complete the process. (I have no idea what will happen with USMMA, as it wasn't a nomination she requested, or was expecting -- we have the feeling someone else turned theirs down and they sent everything to PonyGirl at the last moment. King's Point was showing her nomination was received, but USNA was not). Thankfully, I will not go through this with PokeMan or Blondie. I don't expect it for Boo -- but she's got a few years left and could surprise me.
  34. 14 points
    It is not as simple as he left her to fulfill his own sexual desires. There were many aspects of his life that were unfulfilled because he was in a heterosexual marriage that he entered because he was too fearful of society to live how he really wanted. He had to hide some of the things he loved the most out of fear of being outted and how that would effect his relationship with his family, his career, etc. And he was right to be fearful as him coming out did change his relationship with some of his conservative christian relatives. But he waited until he felt that he was safe enough because society has come a long way. He can still love my mil while making the decision to finally love himself more. He stayed with her until their children were adults, is continuing to support her financially through alimony, and will financially support her through retirement. He didn't just up and leave as if she were nothing to him. Selfish was putting her in that position in the first place. And staying would have been just as selfish because ultimately mil deserves a man who wants her and doesn't just feel obligated to her because of a selfish decision he made out of fear two decades earlier.
  35. 14 points
    What a cutie!! I agree puppies are exhausting. We have a 6 month old possibly hound mix from the Humane Society. It was on my bucket list to raise a puppy because we've always adopted adult dogs. Now I know, and I'm not sure I'll do this again. I have 3 teenagers and no way could I do it without them! And even between the 4 of us (DH is almost always at work so I don't even count on him but puppy loves him the most anyway) we have shallow holes in our backyard and that's with CONSTANT supervision. He's just fast! This is Murphy:
  36. 14 points
    Awww. I gotta say it's pretty awesome even seeing my book's title on a thread with Tolkien, Dickens, and Pratchett. My book has got some polishing I still have to do but it's getting much much closer. Here's the working description for anyone interested: 27-year-old Frances McArthur has just taken a teaching position abroad in Shrewsbury, England, and is shocked to see a face from her past at the school: Max Fahey. Ten years earlier (and on the other side of the Atlantic in Atchison, Kansas) Max had been her classmate, neighbor, rival, and the only son of the wealthiest family in their small town. When Max’s beautiful but temperamental girlfriend was murdered all eyes turned to him. Then Max and his family disappeared and haven’t been seen since. Frances’ time in England is limited, she only has until the end of the term. Despite the realization he is a man wanted for murder back home, Frances is falling for Max. Now Frances must decide if she should trust the facts of the cold case and report Max’s whereabouts to the police or trust her own heart which tells her Max couldn’t possibly be a murderer.
  37. 13 points
    I think it's broader than family. There's been a breakdown in traditional forms of community, and the space that leaves hasn't neccessarily been filled with new forms of community meeting the human needs that never went away. Obviously, this is going to vary widely by region, by dominant or family cultural norms, and by luck of the draw. But I know where I am, church going is way, way down, volunteer work is down, especially amongst the non-retired, civic organisation membership is down, trade union membership is down, membership of political parties down. And all families are affected, not just non-traditional families.
  38. 13 points
    A lot of good points. But this: Doesn't it follow from his own run down of the breakdown of the American family that these people are "hungering" to replace their broken and otherwise uncomfortable family-of-origin situations with anything approaching stability? What I mean is, wouldn't all these people have preferred to just have a good family from the beginning? I would. While people need what they need and find it where they find it and that's fine as far as it goes, what I have seen recently has been a lot of self-centered people saying that their friends are their "real family" while they're jerks to the max to their actual real family. Also, there's some stuff in the air lately where adult people are telling teenagers that what they REALLY need is a "tribe," by which they mean friends they select themselves, who support fully their every whim. Unsat. So part of my opinion is that while a lot of this stuff is true, it doesn't necessarily mean it's right.
  39. 13 points
    I would not leave one child out and take the rest. I think that is cruel regardless of the reasons. But I would take on the college child and leave the rest home with the sitter. The focus should be on the college-entering child, and should be special time to spend with them before they are gone from your life.
  40. 13 points
    Who decided that women can't be strong and smart AND sexy? That is such a bizarre dichotomy. And why should JLo, or any woman, be required to represent All Women All the Time? Why can't she just represent JLo — a sexy Latina singer and dancer who has made a really great living from her talent? Why would watching one 15-minute performance somehow undo what a child learned in nearly two decades of life in a family that believes that women can be strong and smart and powerful?
  41. 13 points
    Ds24 has an interview for a promotion tomorrow. We are praying it goes well. They actually approached him and asked him to interview for the position, so that's a good sign.
  42. 13 points
    I wish there were more people who don't sugar coat. There have been questions I've asked hoping for a direct answer. Instead, I have to try to read between the lines, which leads to communication problems. On the other hand, if I'm asked a direct question, I try to answer it honestly. Sometimes the response is a surprised look, as if the person asking the question didn't really want a straight answer. Why ask a question if you don't want an honest answer?! Please continue to be straightforward. 🙂
  43. 13 points
    Yes, rigid thinking is another big factor. That can be a personality thing or a cultural norm thing or both. I refuse to travel with my FIL, even on an all expense paid vacation we were offered, because I can't stand the inflexible thinking that leads to his hissy fits and petty comments. He can't just chalk it up to "life happening," it's always someone's fault that everything didn't go the way he expected it-even if his expectations were wildly unrealistic. He regularly traveled for work around the US for decades, so he should've figured out the importance of flexibility a looooooooong time ago. There is not only one right way to do everything. When my brother and I hiked down to tribal land at Supai Falls on a tributary of the Colorado River, we had screened/auditioned the hikers for a year without them knowing that's what was happening for a while. We would invite them on an easy hike and if all went well to increasingly difficult ones. If they seemed to have a mindset compatible with our ultimate goal, Supai, great! If not, we didn't invite them on more hikes. Those who made the final rounds were invited to join us at Supai and we'd get the permits of their behalf, but they had to come to our orientation first. We were very blunt and specific about being respectful of the tribe, their customs, and their land, even if we vehemently disagreed with them on something. None of us had to go there at all. If they couldn't live with Supai norms, they should not go to Supai land. They were made aware of the controversy about the mule trains and decide if they were comfortable using them, among other things-if not, they would have to carry their own gear or pay for the helicopter ride. They were told in detail about how laconic the people there are, how eye contact is considered aggressive and rude, the right of way for mule trains on narrow switchbacks, and that this would a rustic, potentially dangerous situation with little resources to help, etc. etc. If they weren't going to be happy with that, they shouldn't go. A few opted not to go for various reasons. Good call. There are other places where they'll enjoy vacationing more, they should check those places out and plan accordingly. When we got to the village and processed our permits, there was an older retired couple standing outside the office complaining to my brother that the hotel didn't have a TV and the water tasted funny. He said in a friendly tone, "Yea, they told us to bring a powered flavored mix for that but I don't mind the taste. You didn't come all the down here to watch TV did you?" That shut them up, but probably not in a self-reflective way. It's so remote goods are either flown in by helicopter or carried by a mule train. One of the cringiest oblivious reviews online about it said the village "wasn't even charming." This is their home. They're not obligated to please your preferences. If you failed to do your due diligence in learning what you could about the place and whether it's a good match for your vacation, that's your problem, not theirs.
  44. 12 points
    I agree. I cannot even imagine. My 3 year olds were still eating a lot of their food with their hands...how does it even work to let a preschooler run around the house, periodically popping by to shove a bite of lasagna or stir fry in their mouth before darting off again? Oy vey, what a mess of dribbled food and sticky finger prints!! For us every meal starts with everyone (even little ones) setting their places at the table, then we eat with everyone sitting in their chairs, and at the end everyone clears away their dishes and immediately washes their hands. Meals are times to talk about our days and practice patiently listening to others, practice good manners and using silverware neatly, model healthy eating, etc. They are a labor of love that someone (mostly me) has put a lot of time and effort into preparing to healthfully nourish our family, and even young children are taught to show a modicum of respect by sitting with the family for 10-15 minutes (and normally longer because we tend to keep meals upbeat and fun). At our house, though, most of this learning happens around 18 months. By 3 years old the kiddos are well versed in how things are done in this family and don't really fight against sitting at the table (even if the food choices are not entirely to their liking). They are still strapped because they are incredibly impulsive and need the physical reminder that it is time to stay seated, but they aren't actively trying to escape the buckles. Wendy
  45. 12 points
  46. 12 points
    Sorry for my earlier post which was meant for the tackle thread! So yesterday I finally finished Boundaries with Teens. I started re-reading the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Last time I read it all the way through, I believe was before kids, or at least before snotty middle schoolers, LOL. I'm to the part where they say I should meditate daily. Sounds like a great idea if I can fit it in .... We are listening to Wuthering Heights in the car. It is weird in the beginning but at least one of my kids is interested enough to ask questions. I read the Reader's Digest condensed version of this book when I was their age, and I absolutely loved it. Hoping to start back reading aloud if I could stop getting derailed by more important things ....
  47. 12 points
    We'd have to say then that you read Ten Years of Solitude! Regards, Kareni
  48. 12 points
    No brothers were eaten in this experiment.
  49. 12 points
    He's still waiting. But they said they will do a free blood pressure check. If it is high they suggested he go to the actual ER, not stay there. Which he now agrees with, thankfully. So still waiting for them to check it, but he's pleased they will do it for free so he doesn't get charged there AND an ER if need be.
  50. 12 points
    Dear boss, As I had expressed in my initial communications with you, I am unavailable to work xxyy hours / days. It has recently become clear that the staffing needs of ___ are incompatible with the availability I communicated to you. Thus it appears this arrangement is not going to work out. Accordingly please accept my resignation effective ___. Best wishes,
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