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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/04/2021 in all areas

  1. I just invited all my kids to get together to celebrate my graduation with my AA. Thirty years after I started. I’m pretty darn proud of myself and want to celebrate. Now I feel embarrassed. Dh has not been very supportive of me going back to school and has not planned anything. I feel like when I tell him, he’ll get defensive and ask if he was supposed to plan something. I don’t want to be passive-aggresive, I just want to celebrate.
    24 points
  2. Thanks, everyone! I am going to keep the plans and not feel bad about doing it for myself. 🎉
    18 points
  3. "I love the idea of academic tutoring, but I'm totally not qualified to dispense brain health advice. Will the position be strictly tutoring?" ["Oh don't worry, you can learn, I have all the materials ..."] "No really, I am totally not qualified on the brain health side. I would not feel right dispensing health advice or services."
    16 points
  4. Either plan your own party, or tell Dh exactly what party you want and that you want him to plan it. If he doesn’t get on board, plan your own party. Don’t give him an opportunity to disappoint you on such a wonderful occasion. Nothing cheesy about throwing your own party.
    16 points
  5. It's not offensive to be unspecific about someone's gender when asking questions about that person. Even if you know their gender, you don't need to mention it in every irrelevant sentence you speak. "They" is not a gender. It's a pronoun that can accurately (and harmlessly) apply to people of any gender. Your daughter was not misgendered. It's like being called, "A person" or "A customer" instead of "A woman". Sure "woman" is more specific, but "person" or "customer" are neither wrong nor inappropriate descriptions to use.
    15 points
  6. 'Safer'. C'mon. Talk about harm inflation. And looking androgynous or not confirming to femininity is ZERO reason to assume someone is no longer in the class 'woman'. Jeez, that kind of mindset is why butch women get harassed and attacked. Plus, it's sexist as **** to assume girls or women who aren't performing the feminine aren't actually women.
    15 points
  7. Mom was using she and her. That isn't hard to pick up on.
    13 points
  8. I do believe in intercessory prayer. I don't believe God is bound by nature. I believe rather the opposite, actually, that creation is dependent on God, that all good things, whether they come through the usual working of creation or come through a miraculous intervention in the usual working of creation, are supernaturally worked by God. So God giving us our daily bread through farmers and bakers and groceries stores is just as supernatural as God giving the Israelites manna in the wilderness or Jesus feeding the 5,000. The whole question of if a given good thing was "from God" or "would have happened anyway" is a misnomer: *every* good thing is from God and *nothing* would have "happened anyway" without Him - there'd be no world at all if God wasn't actively at work every second of every day - "In Him we live and move and have our being."
    13 points
  9. I'd guess they are used to defaulting to they/them/their as a neutral choice. I wouldn't spend a single minute thinking about this.
    12 points
  10. I was driving, and out of the corner of my eye, I spied a tiny brown speck on my arm. I started furiously slapping at it, thinking it was a fire ant. It was a freckle. 🧐
    12 points
  11. re costs (both out of pocket, and time off from work) of getting a voter ID "Poll tax" literally means a tax imposed at the time of registration or appearance at a polling place. You are correct; that is not the current literal form of the barriers. There are real barriers, including real out-of-pocket costs, nonetheless. Even if state IDs themselves have no out-of-pocket costs (and often, they do) they virtually *always* require underlying documentation, such as a birth certificate, that *does* require out of pocket costs. There are (as discussed upthread by multiple pp) even MORE substantial costs associated with legal documentation associated with a name change. And many states do NOT have voter drives on multiple dates / easy-to-get-to sites on transport lines. Even *before* the efforts in this year's legislative assembly to further restrict access to voting, the ACLU reported And plenty of folks don't drive / have access to a car. Or excess cash to fund 170 miles x round trip worth of gas. And plenty of folks don't have work flexibility or paid time off (!!) to go first to a limited-hours location to get an ID, and then again to another location to register to vote, and then again actually TO exercise their constitutional right to vote. (And then again to update information every time they change apartments.) re dementia wrt Constitutionally entrenched rights Does dementia entail loss of 2A rights in even one of the 50 states? I do not believe so.
    12 points
  12. I don't have time to try to find the book right now, but in one of Madeline L'Engle's published journals she has a bit about intercessory prayer that stuck with me. Something along the lines of prayer is neither a vending machine nor a magic spell, but praying for another is an act of love and love is never useless or wasted.
    12 points
  13. My kid doesn't look androgynous, she has very long hair (in a girl style) and bigger "books" than I have. I mean I'm not really bothered if this was just one guy thinking he was being extra woke. But if this is the policy of CVS or if this is some trend some group is trying to force on society, I don't appreciate it. If I kept calling my kid "they" and the CVS person insisted on "she," I am guessing lots of people would be indignant on my kid's behalf.
    11 points
  14. If it’s misgendering to call someone “she” if that person wants to be a “they,” then isn’t saying “they” repeatedly also misgendering? ETA I took someone (a single someone) to get vaccinated at CVS and no one seemed to say “they.”
    11 points
  15. I am frequently encountering "they" used as a gender neutral pronoun referring to a person whose gender may be known but is irrelevant to the conversation. Many communications I receive about students, for example, refer to the student as "they". That has nothing to do with politics or religion or making a point, but simply reflects the cultural shift not to make assumptions about a person's gender based on their name/dress/hair. It seems to me entirely plausible that somebody who is dealing all day long with different folks is simply using "they" as a default in their stock phrases. Language is evolving. Singular "they" as a gender neutral pronoun is pretty established now and not going anywhere.
    10 points
  16. Likewise why assume that a teen girl with long hair and big books automatically uses she/her. I know a lot of fluid or trans people who look very femme and use different pronouns. I would just assume that they are sick of asking these questions a bazillion times a day and have a default script in their head they are running through. I wouldnt chalk this up to wokeness; just somebody churning another day in the hamster wheel. I wouldn’t give this another thought either.
    10 points
  17. I was interviewed last week by a major international newspaper about some work I'd done. Which is cool and exciting. However, I've felt really down ever since. It's highlighted what I'm not doing - that so much of what I've done is in the past - and while there's a chance to get back to it in 10 years or whatever, right now, it's all everyday life ie drudgery. I feel glad I've had the opportunities I've had to make a difference . . . but sad that it could be all about the past for me, not the future.
    10 points
  18. I was almost 17. I walked into the local grocery store to fill out a job app. He stopped me as I was leaving to ask my name. He was a college student, working a full time job and a part time job. We were both seeing other people but started dating one another about a year later. He took me to my senior prom. I married him at 19.5. We celebrate our 25 year anniversary this month. I’d give my left arm for another 25. ♥️ He’s one of the good ones.
    10 points
  19. I have gotten pretty used to voice texting and saying, "I am wondering if you are free on Tuesday evening, question mark. I am thinking that would be an excellent time to go exclamation point." I called a friend and left a voice message and forgot it wasn't a text. I said, "Hey Rhonda exclamation point, I am hoping we can meet on Tuesday comma, then we can make sure to get the items we need period. Just let me know exclamation point." I was half way through the message and caught myself but it was too late. I couldn't erase it. We both thought it was so funny.
    10 points
  20. When you're been running through the same questions all day long at work, it's pretty easy to get on autopilot and miss a cue like that.
    9 points
  21. “I don’t think this is a good match for me. Thank you so much for thinking of me.” Why? ”A traditional tutoring program is more in line with my philosophy and skill set. I can tell you’re passionate about what you do & I wish you the best.”
    9 points
  22. He brought the spindly plant indoors in the fall and it just kept growing and growing! I think that means it’s an indeterminate variety and he and I have loved watching it grow. He is a widower and I bring him dinner once a week and we visit for an hour. It’s been so fun to watch it grow!
    9 points
  23. Was it originally growing near a monolith? Do you live near @Terabith? This is the kind of thing that would happen in her neighborhood.
    9 points
  24. My first response (& I apologize upfront-but..) Darn diddly right I'll be throwing myself a party and if certain persons in my family make a fuss, they can't come. Congratulations to you!!! PS I'd absolutely do it myself so that I can control it. I have passive aggressive people in my life that would love to mess it up.
    9 points
  25. Since they are just growing in the same pot, I would assume that there was a wayward seed in the original soil that germinated.
    9 points
  26. Holy Smokes! Feed Me Seymour, Feed Me!
    9 points
  27. I just saw someone offered alpaca wool--if you come get it and shear/shave it yourself off their skittish alpaca.
    8 points
  28. Oh, JanOH's post reminded me about two things I meant to share about DD's appointment yesterday. First, there was zero line. With her first dose we were waiting FOREVER and it was very poorly run, but this time we walked in and it was her turn. Second, we walked up to the lady and she said, "First dose or second?" Second. "You have her card?" And then I looked like a deer in headlights, because I totally left it at home. *facepalm* I said, "I guess we'll have to come back another time." Lady asked if the first dose had also been at the same location and I said yes, so she looked it up and was able to fill out a new card with info for both doses. She was very gracious, she said "it happens," and I felt like an idiot but it worked out fine. We didn't have to drive back across town to get it or schedule a different appt.
    8 points
  29. I met Dh on a dating site. I was 31 and very much shopping for a husband, which makes you look at profiles differently. He had two pictures on his profile, both of which were horrible, and taken at the same event. My first thought was, here is a nice looking guy, in a hideous sweater, who doesn’t have any idea how attractive he is. I decided that wouldn’t be a bad thing for a husband. We’ve been together ten years and married for eight. He still has the sweater, it’s still hideous, he’s still handsome.
    8 points
  30. Congratulations! No, it’s not at all cheesy to throw your own graduation party! Have fun!
    8 points
  31. Congrats!!! Throw yourself a party. Just invite your husband as a guest, just like your kids are guests. You could just tell him gifts are not required. My husband is not the kind who plans party. He would be happy to eat leftover party food. My husband would think buying a gift is expected unless I tell him otherwise.
    8 points
  32. I hear that all the time when somebody hears what my job is (I'm a physics professor). Doesn't bother me. And definitely not rude. It's usually meant as some form of compliment. I also heard it with respect to homeschooling or rock climbing. Maybe they really couldn't, Maybe they could but can't imagine that they could. Whatever.
    7 points
  33. Well I think since I am her mom and was speaking for her (she was right there) and I made it very clear she is a she, that counts as informing him she is not a "they."
    7 points
  34. It is very common for aging people to become stubborn, obstinate, argumentative. ( In German, we have a word for that: Altersstarrsinn). It isn't a treatable pathogy and doesn't need to be related to memory loss.
    7 points
  35. If they don't seem excited enough, then go BIGGER!! Take a cruise!! You definitely deserve to celebrate. All the way.
    7 points
  36. Congratulations @Familia! I met Dh when we were in the same military language school. Absolute lightening bolts the first time our eyes locked. That was 30 years ago.
    7 points
  37. Yes, I believe in intercessory prayer. I think that the Bible gives us examples of that- including praying for the sick. God created nature. He can work within nature but also outside of nature. (I do think that usually He works within nature including through medicine, doctors etc). I believe that God’s sovereignty means that sometimes/ maybe more than sometimes, our prayers are answered in ways that we don’t expect because He sees a bigger picture than we can see.
    7 points
  38. I have to be very careful with in person or phone conversations. While formulating a verbal reply I've frequently caught myself right before saying something like "My DH/DS [instead of saying husband or son] wanted me to tell you blah blah." Which would be really embarrassing.
    7 points
  39. I did the same thing, but it was a business call. I was so embarrassed when I realize what I had done lol
    7 points
  40. When I had a bunch of little kids I would ask them a question and they would give some rambling or nonsensical response when I just needed an answer. So I would ask questions like, “Did you use the bathroom? Yes or no.” Or “Are you hungry? Yes or no.” I don’t know when I started doing this but it was pretty effective in my home and it got me the answers I needed 😂 Until I would get introduced to someone new at church and say “Are you new in town. Yes or no?” Or I would ask a guest “Would you like some coffee? Yes or no.” So that was pretty weird.
    7 points
  41. I use "they" all the time. I use it anytime I don't know someone's gender, and also frequently in cases where gender isn't a relevant part of what I'm talking about. It's my go-to neutral pronoun, just like 'person' is my go-to neutral noun. It's not political for me. But I'm Canadian. You might be in a different context to have come to that conclusion. As a Christian, it doesn't have anything much to do with my faith either. I'm not sure which faiths are big on pronoun issues?
    6 points
  42. “Entitled”? That’s an...interesting...word choice. I wouldn’t spend a moment even thinking about it. Maybe your kid looks androgynous, maybe the worker was bored and not paying attention, maybe they figured it’s just safer/more respectful. Sure beats being misgendered at any rate. 🤷‍♀️
    6 points
  43. Did she say "My preferred pronouns are . . . "? If they'd assumed she/her instead of assuming they/their would you have been equally as fragile about it? Or do you think she's more entitled for people to get it right without being asked than someone who uses they/their?
    6 points
  44. Ah, but what's the humidity? LOL. I'm not necessarily in a hot climate (NC) but we do regularly get mid/upper 90s in the summer. But, oh, the humidity!
    6 points
  45. I don't know if it's the same there, but I learned that until I said, 'I can't' no service really stepped in.
    6 points
  46. I have had volunteer plants surface because my compost doesn't get super hot. A random squash, pumpkin or tomato are the most common I find in my other veggies.
    6 points
  47. I had recently changed my work password to something completely random that I, of course, forgot. I called IT and the guy asks me to verify the first four of my EIN. I give him the numbers, wait patiently, he asks me to again confirm the first four digits. I repeat them. We go through this several more times before he contacts his supervisor. They go through all sorts of other questions, confirm I’m me, but that number just won’t work. Nearly an hour later, I realize I’ve been giving them the LAST four digits and not the first four digits. 🤦🏻‍♀️
    6 points
  48. I am someone who does have to stay away from vaccinated people-MMR vaccinated people because that is a live vaccine and those can shed the virus and I am immunosuppressant/ The Pfizer and Moderna vaccines have no way of shedding- they do no include live virus or any virus.
    6 points
  49. DS16 and DS13 got their second shots today at the children's hospital. DS13 was quite nervous but the staff are total pros, and there even were signs all around about how to stay calm -- as I pointed out to him, obviously lots of other kids have been nervous, too! I talked at length to one of the nurses about the reports of myocarditis and what to watch for. She said the key symptoms of myocarditis generally are breathlessness, extreme fatigue (as in, not able to walk across the room or climb a flight of stairs) and erratic pulse. She also emphasized that I should trust my mom instincts and that if anything just doesn't seem right, call the ped or come in to the ED. The nurses were also urging all the kids to really move their arms around today to prevent soreness, perhaps by helping their parents with yardwork or vacuuming. All the teenagers in the room (including mine) seemed to find this hilarious. 🙂
    6 points
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