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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/06/2021 in all areas

  1. So. I have one child. I had one very early miscarriage. I felt sure I was pregnant before I took the test, having been pregnant before. I'd been tracking my temps as well and they, too, were indicative of pregnancy. I only ever had one faint positive. My period was not very late, if at all. But for someone who struggled with infertility for years, had only been able to have one child, and who was told after the miscarriage that we wouldn't be trying anymore, ever again, it was a very real loss, I assure you. I'd cry too if I got my hopes up, lost a tiny human being, and then went several
    20 points
  2. I'm going to be working my first covid immunization clinic shift tomorrow! Apparently we can do up to 1200 per day.
    13 points
  3. I see not-yet-born babies listed in obituaries quite often, as well as babies who were lost during pregnancy. I don't think it has anything to do with education. Rather, it shows that although the babies are unborn, they are still an important part of the family.
    12 points
  4. You have obviously never lost a child mid to late pregnancy. The emotions are beyond description. Anyone who has weathered that can print that baby’s name wherever they want for all I care.
    11 points
  5. Oh, and the reason people are private about miscarriages and even later losses is that the reactions of others are what we’re seeing in this thread. They’re no big deal, so get over it, you can have other children, or adopt, or get a cat. I only found out about a lot of losses in my circle after I had experienced one myself.
    10 points
  6. In my infant loss support group, one of the women who had the hardest time was one who had experienced several first trimester miscarriages. She felt guilty for grieving and her depression, because even more than those of us who had lost babies at or after birth, she got less support. We at least usually had a photo, footprints, a tiny lock of hair. Many of us had been able to have funerals. We had a grave to visit. We had the validation that our child was a person. She was denied that. I know how meaningful it was to me to have my son listed in his grandmother’s obituary. How much m
    10 points
  7. Dd has made Chancellor's list the past 3 semesters. But, given how difficult the Fall semester was, I am especially pleased for her.
    9 points
  8. We've been on strict quarantine since last March. Financially, it's not pretty. In fact, it's downright ugly. Socially, we're home ALL THE TIME. I've never had this much time to surf the net since there's been a net. Since I cook 99 percent of our meals now, I've gotten into freezer cooking. I like having stuff on hand when I am just not feeling it. Freezer cooking searches inevitably take you to the youtube channels of moms with very large families. THIS is how I met Jordan Paige from Fun, Cheap or Free. I just kept clicking! I know WAY more about Jordan Paige than I ever needed to k
    9 points
  9. If you're ever in Maine and someone calls you "dear," be aware you've really just been mildly insulted. If someone runs into me around the corner in a store I would say "sorry, dear" which basically means "fool, you just ran into me." The protocol tends to be that older people can call younger people dear, but not the other way around, and if someone's being truly stupid, you just say "yes, dear." Men can "dear" women as a subtle domination, and women use it on tourists. It might be the Maine version of the Southern "bless your heart."
    9 points
  10. I've had neither a miscarriage nor a baby born still, but I am so tired of people trying to compare losses and determining that one person's is less.
    9 points
  11. Again, I don’t know why people keep claiming I’m using CNN as some example of absolute truth, I’m not. I do think there are some news sources (primarily print) generally recognized as center and factual. Are there absolutely none you would consider generally (not perfectly) center and factual? Of course it’s always best to consult several bias sources and also several news sources to get the most complete picture. But that is quite different than choosing one very biased primary source and watching it for most of the day, as the OP was dealing with in a friend. I actually have watched qu
    9 points
  12. Imagine having politicos who read books. Bill
    9 points
  13. Turns out, you cannot have the Covid vaccination if you had any other vaccination in the last month. Some people who recently had some other vaccinations, who were lucky enough to get in for Covid shot, have been turned away when it was found out they had other shots (any other vaccination) within the last month or so. Wanted to make people aware so if they are on waitlists, they won’t lose their chance due to this.
    8 points
  14. Did the suicide hotline offer any resources? Did they call the National hotline? That one often refers people to more local groups, so they can get local help. If that didn’t happen, it might be worth another call. Or you could call. I second, third, whichever it is, contacting the school. Especially since there isn’t a guardian to contact. Struggling with what I want to say ... Your son is in a vulnerable position, too, and I think he needs protection from feeling that this is his responsibility, if things get worse. It’s hard to feel that one is the only buffer between suicide
    8 points
  15. I think grief is minimized enough that someone using an obit space to acknowledge a life and loss of another member of the family than just the deceased adult is far from the worst thing to normalize.
    8 points
  16. Just a funny: my son and his gf were over tonight and I told them the story of the Walmart lady, and then ds had a funny story about “Meathead Gym Guy” who gave him hell about taking weights off a machine that he was “using,” though he was nowhere in sight when ds began. Then, moments later, when I was about to take the pizza out of the five hundred degree oven, I said to gf, whose back was near the oven door, “Watch yourself, hon!” And then I laughed because I realized this is just what I say. It’s what I say when someone is within a couple inches of potentially being hit by a shopping
    8 points
  17. She lived in Draper, UT prior to her move. Not exactly sure where she is now...but I think she is in my SIL’s neighborhood. That neighborhood is full of humble braggers—living so modestly with their 8 kids, Cadillac Escalades, scuba trips. They have all lost one mansion and bought another after learning “hard lessons”. They all love Costco, organizing with clear plastic bins, naming their kids unique names/spellings and being FrUgaL.
    8 points
  18. My son has been listed as preceded in death for several relatives. I haven’t asked, but definitely appreciate it.
    8 points
  19. We have the a range here. We all got our second Pfizer shot about 5:45 last night. The rest of the night was fine for all. Dh has no symptoms, not even a sore arm. 18yo dd has a headache and is staying in bed. After 15 or 16 hours of nothing but a sore arm that started during the night, I just wanted to lie down, had chills, the edges of a headache if I moved, and fever of 99-100°. Living on the sofa with the cat and dog watching The Great British Baking Show (turns out it's okay to nap through parts and just wake up for the judging). Very glad I got all my chores done yesterday and can have a
    6 points
  20. For those who dont' know.... Bless your heart has multiple meanings in the southern culture. It's all contextual as Scarlett's post says. I think this short video will help with the translation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4nRIw_ATJA
    6 points
  21. Good morning! Christina, I hope you have a good day and the lack of sleep doesn't interfere. I had some sleep but no the best. Dd got here pretty late, but we all stayed up really late talking with her. We're doing our Christmas on Sunday. meals plan meals for coming week grocery shop plan lessons for next week while dd meets friends for lunch play games
    6 points
  22. I had my first Covid vaccination yesterday. So far, just a sore arm. No worse than the flu shot. I've heard that the second shot often has worse reactions.
    6 points
  23. Dh has a friday morning discussion group. One shared a story of when he was assigned as an attache for a week to a prominent politco back in the 90s when she was visiting his military base. This woman . . . subsequently held a townhall and proceeded to tell everyone there what she did, who she met with, etc. etc. etc. etc. . . . . . Then she opened up a Q&A . . . When she got to him, he asked her if she remembered him. nope. He reminded her he was her attache on the "fact finding" tour she was just telling everyone about. He was with her the ENTIRE TIME. She turned red, ended the me
    6 points
  24. Ah, a woman with good taste in books! Regards, Kareni, proud reader of romances
    6 points
  25. It might not have anything to do with comparing one thing to another.
    6 points
  26. My kids and I have used our pandemic time oh-so wisely... 🙄 We've dived deep(er) into the Marvel blackhole. Thanks to the wonder that is Disney+, we've watched and rewatched (and rewatched) all the Marvel-everything. We spent an hour yesterday debating which Avenger/MCU character had the worst life/luck. An hour! (Nevermind that no one cares! And it doesn't matter!). We have spent all of this afternoon swapping WandaVision theories.
    6 points
  27. I've not heard of it being done before, but obviously it was important to someone to have it in there. Not sure what it has to do with their level of education. It does seem any miscarried children would be included in the "preceded in death" section rather than in the listing of still alive great-grandchildren, though. Not something I would choose to do, but, really, what does it matter, unless closer relatives objected?
    6 points
  28. Good morning! Had a super hard time going to sleep due to A I issues- sll of my diseases except asthma started 5o flare- even interstitial cystitis which hardly ever foes anymore since I started biologics). To do Care of dogs Potentially drop off goodies at ds house Potentially go somewhere w dh and ds, maybe botanical garden w the calmer mini American shepherd Definitely go to Publix and pick up scripts I was too tired to do yesterday and get any food we need plus more water Hopefully have a nice later afternoon and evening eating Asian stir fry w dh and ds
    5 points
  29. Quoting myself. The first night was definitely the worst of it. I felt pretty awful the entire following day, went to bed at 8 and woke up feeling 98% better. So about 48 hours from start to finish with the worst of it being from about the 16 hour mark through the 36 hour mark.
    5 points
  30. DH worked on a suicide hotline. He says that one of the most important part of the training he went through was dealing with how to be helpful but not feel responsible for the actions of the person in crisis. They went through a lot of training of how they are only a small piece in a complex puzzle/life of the person in crisis that has led the person to that point. I would think that it would help your son to hear some of the training and advice that is given to those who are listening to someone in crisis--so that he realizes it is a very difficult thing to do and doesn't expect too much f
    5 points
  31. I started out with a plan to not use a “boxed” or scripted curriculum, I wanted to DIY in a CM/classical style, I was going to avoid anything considered “light” by the homeschool community like the plague, and I planned to spend very little money (“all you need is a library card and a math book” and all that). This worked somewhat for a few years when my kids were little. We made liberal use of the library, I came up with a scope and sequence based on my kids’ interests and strengths and weaknesses, I filled my shelves with books, and even had plenty of curriculum that I pulled ideas from (whi
    5 points
  32. I've been steadily reading this year (7!) so am tracking just fine for 52BinY. I recently finished Grann's well-written Killers of the Flower Moon. I'm glad I read it but it is heartbreaking. My review is here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3802472503 After two heavy books (I read Caste before this), I've taken a breather from hard-hitting books in order to process it all and have been enjoying Wodehouse's Carry On, Jeeves which was a kindle freebie a couple of weeks ago. This is actually a reread for me; I probably last read Wodehouse 10+ years ago, so it has been a delight t
    5 points
  33. Is the person an adult or a minor? If minor, whoever is guardian really needs to know. If it's mom and she's truly checked out, I'd talk to the school. You definitely can and should reach out to them. Any adult who can help can be contacted. The school should have some sort of counselor on staff; I don't know of any that don't especially during COVID times. Either one of you can make contact - I'd probably do it as a parent in this case just to be sure that the severity of the issue is well communicated. Friend may be angry at your DS, but bringing in other people is really necessary. On
    5 points
  34. "bless your heart " and "dear" when used as insults bugs me so much. If you're going to be insulting then own it and don't hide behind some nice sounding secret code. (I don't think people should be insulting but they especially shouldn't be insulting but cloaking it!)
    5 points
  35. I would like to report that despite it raining really hard today, the leak on the living room ceiling stayed dry. We got some Kilz mold/mildew primer at Home Depot today to put on the ugly brown stain.
    5 points
  36. I think of myself living in the Midwest but apparently I live in one of the "Plains States." We always chat each other up everywhere -- perfect strangers or neighbors.
    5 points
  37. Well, it might have been a really good book.
    5 points
  38. I obviously don’t know the situation so can’t say whether him dropping out is good or bad, but I did want to caution to not automatically think that everyone needs to convince him not to. If he is quite sick, and it sounds like it is, the stress of school may be too much for him to be handling right now when what he needs to do is get healthy. It’s all he’s hearing from everyone is that he needs to stay in school, that could make what already feels like an overwhelming situation to him feel all the more so. It might be a better message for him to know that schools are able to make allowances f
    4 points
  39. I happened across a bookshelf with Wodehouse this week and wondered if I should add one or two to my TBR. Since I am doing a no spend reading challenge again this year, I'll have to see what my library has. Does anyone else see a book or find an author and then visits this thread and finds someone has mentioned that book or author? Is that serendipity, fate, or coincidence? Or some other word I cannot pull from the recesses of my fatigued brain?
    4 points
  40. Let me piggyback on this thread to add a PSA: if you have recently received a covid vaccine, it is recommended to wait (I can't remember if they said 2 months or 3 months) before getting a mammogram. Apparently the vaccines can cause swelling of lymph nodes - perfectly normal response, but it can interfere with mammogram results. It wasn't an issue for me (I'm not eligible for the vaccine yet) but I was told that it's a brand new recommendation so I figured I would share in case it affects others.
    4 points
  41. I finished the first three chapter of CMC. Dumas didn't hesitate to set the conflict, did he? I already have a wonderful 'feel' for the characters. It was a cozy read as DH had lit a fire in the fireplace for me and the wind was howling through the trees and blowing snow. I finished two books this week - Unplugged by Gordon Kormon and Ziggy, Stardust, and Me by James Brandon. Unplugged was a good Young Adult book but not my favorite Gordon Kormon story. The humor I remember in his other books wasn't present and the book ended so soon after the climax/resolution, I was left wondering if
    4 points
  42. Thanks, that’s good to know. I feel more confident now that calling the school on Monday is the right decision.
    4 points
  43. The counselors at the high school I work in are trained to handle these situations and connect the student to outside help. We now even have a mental health person in the district office and I know part of what he's been doing this year is working with the kids with more severe issues. Your school should be equipped to get help for this young man and take the burden off your son.
    4 points
  44. We really need the hug/care reaction here. Thank you and your son for helping this young man get help. One related thing: Would your son be open to talking to a counselor about the incident? If the friendship survives, it would be good to have somebody knowledgeable helping him to navigate how to react/help if it recurs. Or just help him process what has happened? Just throwing it out there. It wouldn't even have to be an ongoing thing - I put both of my other kids in therapy after DD's suicide attempt. One still meets weekly with her therapist; one went for 3ish months. DH never went to
    4 points
  45. So avert yer eyeballs if you're not into paying/bribing kids to do the housework you don't want to... DS is happily on his knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. 🙂 It "rained nickels" (i.e., after sweeping, I scattered them around the areas that needed a good spot cleaning). Best way to get work out of a 13yo for $0.75 I ever saw.
    4 points
  46. I love this thread- you'all give me such good ideas! Yes, I want to make cassoulet soon too. And also the things I learn- the medicinetgat I knew had such restrictions on eating ( and with it. also not bending down and some other things like that) was Fosamax, an anti osteoporosis drug that dd2 was 8n for over a year when she was 12. So what do you need to w thyroid medicine- just not eat or drink or anything else? Amy, I hope you don't have any problems from lack of sleep.
    4 points
  47. I was in the grocery store and a lady and I were both waiting for someone to move along....I turned and smiled at her......and then I turned back around and said to her, ‘ I am smiling at you’. She laughed. 🙂
    4 points
  48. She had to keep stopping to...ummm...go to the bathroom.
    4 points
  49. Both my parents, 83 and 87, who have previously had covid, were vaccinated with their first shot today. Moderna. So far, so good. Several friends had their second shots. Fever, chills, general yuck, but only for 24 hours.
    4 points
  50. BBC World Service is pretty good too. I rely on it for international news and features. Deutsche Welle is good for a fairly grounded perspective from Europe. Something else ppl can do to help balance out their own biases is to read across the spectrum. I read everything from communist (Morning Star) through left-wing (The Guardian, NYT opinion) to centre ( The Economist, Financial Times, Atlantic sort of sometimes hits centre, a lot of the time left) to The Tablet, Quillette, Post-Millenial on the more conservative end. I generally don't give far right media my clicks, but I sometimes wi
    4 points
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