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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/30/2021 in all areas

  1. ... I’m so frustrated. It is not over thinking to analyze. I’ve become, over the years, pretty much apologetic for researching and analyzing. When did we, as a society, begin to disdain thinking and analyzing and instead praise “strong opinions” (aka brashness without regard) and action (impulsiveness without thought to recourse.) I admit to struggling with impulsivity my entire life. I also was a “jump in and do” - which was great, because society praises these things. However, my inability to do, well, much of anything, lends itself to more analytic thought, weighing options, research. I told someone recently, in defense of presenting an alternative viewpoint, “I’m not against you. I’m saying, ‘Consider this.’” I’m not (emphasis, not) standing over anyone’s shoulder saying, “Do it like this. No, that’s wrong.” But it seems to me few people even want to consider any additional information, validity of opposing viewpoints, etc. So much so, that I find myself apologetic for proposing other thinking. Last night, there was a simple conversation on FB about how to homeschool high school. I didn’t make any appeal to experience like number of kids, years homeschooling, etc. Just said I look at the state flagship expectations as my starting point. Then I plan backwards from there to 9th grade so that I don’t close doors for my kids. It’s hard to look at a 12yo and adequately plan to prep them for life, so this gives a good starting point. Another came on and said community college is the way to go - nothing needed like a diploma or transcripts. He’s right. And it’s simpler. But it does close doors and it’s not the obvious answer. For example - my oldest. She commuted to university, got a full tuition plus more in scholarships IF she came in a freshman. She was a competitive student, but not crazy high stats. Transfer scholarships are fewer. I did not share our experience with our three graduates and current senior. This resulted in his appeal to authority as a CC professor and howCC is a better discussion. Sigh. I have no dog in this fight. I don’t care where random stranger’s kid goes to school or how she preps him. I just laid out alternatives. It was just a “Consider this...” deal. Oy. I’m going to be honest. It seems like my entire life is the same conversation over and over. So either I am truly doing something wrong, which has been my assumption for several years, this resulting in me being anxious about sharing thoughts or opinions in real life relationships OR people just want to make snap decisions and not be presented with alternatives. In all seriousness? I blame the board. I really do. Between this one and one other, I came to believe when people were making decisions, they earnestly spoke so as to receive input so as to make the best decision they could. The concept of exchanging ideas and experiences to do better... And yet in real life, it’s seen as opposition so often? i don’t think it’s presentation? I don’t tend to be forceful. I make and keep friends IRL easily. I have no idea but I’m pretty sick of apologizing for speaking. Thoughts? Input? Considerations?
    20 points
  2. I have an appointment for my covid vax tomorrow. (!!!)
    13 points
  3. Freezer breaks in Seattle and an emergency overnight vaccine clinic makes sure nothing is lost. Mad scramble ensues to vaccinate hundreds after freezer breaks in Seattle (nbcnews.com)
    11 points
  4. ** blinking ** I humbly bow before genius This never once occurred to me. I feel like leaping up right this instant to sweep. Whew, managed to suppress THAT urge LOL
    10 points
  5. One very specific thing I do is, whatever the prelude / whatever the PITA thing the kid did / however "right" I continue to believe I am about the Big Picture of the episode, is to say and then... STOP. Just.stop.there. No "I'm under stress because _______", no "let's move on quickly to watch a movie together," no move toward a hug or any other expectation from the other person who may not yet be ready for it (the kid in question takes a good long time, alone, before coming around to any kind of readiness), and DEFINITELY NOT anything on any version of Just, I'm sorry that I lost my temper. And then leave the room. Because I'm the dang grownup in the relationship. It's OK for me to get irritated, frustrated, angry; not OK for me to lose my sh!t, even in absolute PITA conditions. That is what it means to be the dang grownup. However "right" I may feel about the Big Picture, I do not believe it is "right" for me to lose my temper, ever. So a "narrow" apology is quite sincere; and -- in the case of the kid in question -- any more than that is not constructive.
    10 points
  6. I agree with you. I do want to point out though that the community college professor does have a dog in this fight. Community colleges are really struggling right now due to the lack of international students (at least in our area where a very large demographic of their students are from overseas). So of course he's going to urge people to go to community college so that his classes aren't cancelled. I don't think that there would have been anything wrong with you sharing your "credentials" as someone who has taught and graduated so many kids who have college experience. That's valuable especially when you are communicating to other homeschoolers.
    9 points
  7. I hope they mean parents, not just mothers. What about non biological mothers? What about fathers? What about gay couples? Or guardians? I’m not a fan of the language at all. It leaves so much grey area and is inherently sexist and exclusionary. Also without knowing any more about this, I find it absurd to be placing specific demands on a president who has already prioritized assistance and equality for families. He’s been in office what, a week and a half? And has been working hard the entire time. It’s not as if he has forgotten about his promises, sheesh!
    9 points
  8. I might need that printed and framed. You’re speaking to my fears. Thank you. ♥️
    9 points
  9. It's a cultural thing. I always thought it was interesting that our superheroes are big and strong, quick to action and react, but never have any actual plans to make things better. Our supervillians, on the other hand, alway have elaborate plots and well thought designs, and are usually intellectuals. How many superheroes listen to classical, vs the evil guy? And I'm not saying that action is bad, or should be viewed bad, but we tend to view it as an either/or situation: you either think -or- you act. But when pitted against each other, we (Americans in particular, or that's all I can talk to as my experience) value acting over thinking.
    9 points
  10. Could it be in my car here in Australia? We found a key this morning and I have no idea what it’s for.
    9 points
  11. (( hugs )) Normal. If you happen to be lucky enough to be more or less on the same page in how you respectively process hard-to-hold feelings, as it sounds like Mercy and her daughter happen to be... ... well, first, count your blessings; and then second, what Mercy does. The much harder dyads are the ones where YOUR go-to way of processing hard-to-hold feelings happens to be Absolutely Totally Different Planet than the other person's. One out of three of mine is like that. And it's unspeakably hard and you, as the actual grownup, have to learn first how to act like a grownup in the face interactions that are abruptly, overnight, immeasurably harder than when they were -- just yesterday!! -- our sweet/ funny/ cuddly/ quirky little ones. My sweet funny late last little one is about to turn 18. I am sorry to report that they will never go back to the little kids they were before. But happy to report that it definitely gets better. Just not the way it was. It's their job, developmentally, to separate, differentiate, develop identities distinct from their parents. It's our job to adjust to that. Both jobs are hard.
    9 points
  12. Just popping in to say all went well. My surgery was scheduled for 12:30 but the doctor was running early so they took me back around 11:30. We were home by 3:15 and I went right to sleep. I'm up and about now. Bill went out to get us some dinner - he didn't want to cook something not knowing how long I'd sleep as well as how my stomach would feel when I got up. Pain isn't bad. I took some pain meds just before I went to bed so it's probably wearing off about now, and if the pain was bad I'd probably know it. As for the pain this was supposed to fix, it's hard to tell. They did say it can take up to six weeks to feel the full effect. Nerve pain is weird and doesn't always disappear instantly after surgery. I'll post more tomorrow but just wanted to check in and give you all an update.
    9 points
  13. Sharing because this cracked me up. I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He'd Immediately Implement Communist Rule
    8 points
  14. I saw it said recently that we are both overfed and severely malnourished where information is concerned.
    8 points
  15. Penguin (the publisher), has a pretty comprehensive series of Teacher’s Guides for many classic lit titles. Free! The guides include chapter summaries, vocabulary, comprehension questions, quotations to discuss, discussion questions, suggestions for activities, and bibliographies for related readings. https://www.penguin.com/services-shared/teachersguides/ Sharing, as it sounds like many are starting to plan for next year!
    8 points
  16. It’s not you, it’s not new and it’s not the US. Those are dishonest excuses. Gently, if you having something to put out to the world, own it and stop apologizing.
    8 points
  17. I don’t think some people ever stopped caveman survival tactics of just getting behind the boldest, brashest, loudest jerk in the room.
    8 points
  18. I feel like Charlie finding the Golden Ticket, lol
    8 points
  19. In my life, an accountant (who is also otherwise a really lovely person, but strangely got sucked into this) and a lawyer. I think a lot of it comes from wanting to be the person “in the know” about some secret thing that all the regular people are ignorant of. I know people who are low-information voters who consistently characterize others as low-information voters. They think that’s not them because they listen to Rush every day.
    8 points
  20. Here's our family homeschool float from several years ago. This was a fun co-op project (a la pumpkin decorating or making Valentine mailboxes).
    8 points
  21. 1st Moderna shot down. It's been a few hours, and so far the only side effect was bursting into tears from relief. 😭 I have a slight headache, but that could be from the ugly-crying. ;)
    7 points
  22. I agree and think it might actually be the *best* way to get us to really hear each other. I'm much more likely to hear someone’s words and ruminate on them even when they express the polar opposite of my own beliefs if they are speaking their truth. Doesn’t mean I have to agree, but adding their experiences to my own gives me a broader understanding of how we each come to our conclusions. Of course, the dialogue must be in good faith, and that’s where I think there can a irreconcilable disconnect.
    7 points
  23. I expect a bit of brash my way is the best way from say, 18-25 yr olds. That's normal but then I expect them to learn about life, make their own mistakes, and learn that things are not that black and white. To learn nuance. To learn to listen to others, and be open to new ideas. But some people don't make that shift and the current culture seems to confuse passion with truth.
    7 points
  24. We use Duck Duck Go and have never had adult material offered to us in our search results. I would suspect that you may have a computer virus.
    7 points
  25. I just realized this thread was started on Jan. 24th 2020. It is still every bit as active as it was when it was started. What a long, difficult, scary, miserable year, with no real end in sight.
    7 points
  26. Regarding why Q conspiracies are attractive to people, I thought this was a good point. The NYT article is behind a paywall so I can't read it.
    6 points
  27. I personally think there is nothing wrong with framing something with your own experience. Which is different than being apologetic. I also think there is nothing wrong with calling out someone else on their black and white thinking. Being able to see shades of grey is mature thinking. If someone else is attracted to the loudest voice on a topic, that's not on you either. You are under no obligation to save the world from themselves. I've actually unfollowed a lot of homeschool boards because of blind leading the blind posting driving me nuts. When we are talking about something like transitioning a homeschooler to college, there really is no one size fits all. DE might be great for some kids, relying on test scores for scholarships might be great for another, for some families throwing out a broad net of college applications is a good idea, etc etc etc. When I've talked to people about it, I usually say figure out finances first. What you can afford vs. what type of FA/scholarships your student might qualify for vs. trying hard to minimize undergraduate loans for your student vs. options available in your area. The 4 year experience might be amazing but in no way do I think it is worth years of crippling loans if a 2-2 plan might make more sense for someone's finances. Like the county live in has free 2 years CC for qualifying families. We also get 2 free years DE for qualifying kids. Which was a great set up for my oldest. I actually delayed my late birthday kid this year so she can take advantage and hopefully start DE in the fall. You have to calculate stuff like that which can be very geographically dependent. I also think if your homeschooler wants a path other than CC, you should have some test scores and outside classes in place. Some families/kids just don't have the band width to do that and it's better to just know that upfront and have that path laid before you. Not every kid is successful in a 4 year old, live away situation either out of the gate. I think my son's college roommate last year threw thousands in loans down the drain (ETA for clarity - in a college that has an average ACT of about 30 for acceptance - it's not just all about academic readiness).
    6 points
  28. Why thank you! 🙂 I mean, those are encouraging words, and I do appreciate them, even though I'm not the OP.
    6 points
  29. It's just the way the world is right now, unfortunately. You are not the one in the wrong.
    6 points
  30. To clean a ceiling fan blades - use a pillowcase. Open the pillowcase and put a blade inside ... use your hand to close the case round the blade and all the dust falls into the pillowcase. Then toss the pillowcase into the wash.
    6 points
  31. You might want to go look at your internet history and cookies.
    6 points
  32. re just getting lucky My area has been doing once-a-week mobile clinics at fire departments / municipal halls / visiting nurse association facilities etc . We're still on essential workers and 75+ year olds, so no one in our family has yet even tried to go onto the appointment portal. But a friend of mine just happened to be walking around near the VNA office last week, when all of a sudden a throng of health care workers came running out to the sidewalks at 5p. They were about to close up shop, but had ~25 doses from the 6th dose in the Pfizer vaccine and were dragging anyone off the sidewalk who was willing to do the paperwork and take it, rather than let the doses go to waste. They all got 2nd dose appointments as well even though they wouldn't otherwise be eligible yet. Yes please, here is my arm. She *definitely* felt like Charlie with the ticket!
    6 points
  33. I apologize for any bad behavior and say something like, "You know I love you more than anything, right?". She replies, "I love you, too, Mom" and we hug it out. We are both quick to forgive and put it behind us--that is just our personality. I think hormones have a lot to do with this. When I was a young teenager, I cursed at my mom at least once. I'm sure I told her I hated her. I was really terrible at times. After I moved out, she became (and still is) one of my best friends. This too shall pass.
    6 points
  34. Good morning! My best friend and her son and dh are coming over tonight for games and exchanging our Christmas gifts. We never had time to do it near the holiday. Ds rides to swim with them every week, so we figure we’re already exposed to them weekly. Meals Clean kitchen/dining area Clean guest bath Clean living room Sweep/mop floors Laundry Have ds clean his room Tidy up my school stuff in our third bedroom(was dd’s now guest/office) Have fun with them
    5 points
  35. That is outrageously expensive. Our experience is similar to RootAnn's. Programs we have seen have tuition less than their school's. Scholarships can be used toward costs, etc. There are also fully funded abroad experiences like CLS. For comparison to another private university's Rome program, you might look at UDallas's and assess the differences/costs. https://www.udallas.edu/rome/
    5 points
  36. Please use your experience to qualify your answers! I know when I'm asking a question- any type question - I prefer to hear someone's qualifications and experience so that I know how to weight their response. I have read so much from the college board on here! It prepared me to get my kids through high school and into college. I also like when someone describes the type kid, bc not every kid has the same path. It is not bragging to say "I have graduated 3 kids from homeschool and this is what I learned or suggest ..." I cannot thank all of you who have shared enough! My oldest is a Senior, so I'm depending on good advice and experience. I am on a few FB groups, and its mostly surface answers. When asking a question, rarely does anyone give specifics about learning differences, why one program over another, etc. If I'm considering changing my math program, I want to explain what is and isn't working- and hear from other who have had similar issues and solved them. I don't know that this is new, really. I think its magnified by social media. The louder voices are fed, and become even louder. My DH and I are in our 40s, been married 20+ years. I feel we are semi-qualified to give marriage advice- but we don't. Maybe if a close friend asked, and even then it would be limited. I see 20- something who have been married 5 years give marriage advice! Drives me nuts! Same for parenting advice. I've got 6 kids, but I know that there are so many differences, I'm hesitant to give Blanket advice for anything! If you don't have a kid over 10, how do you know your parenting style is working? I would give advice of things to try, if asked, but I'm not going to tell everyone how to raise their kids, and I'm going to look at the parenting of young adults I like, and ask their parents to get advice! I want to see the real product, lol!
    5 points
  37. I've seen a big drift on FB away from thinking or logically considering things. Any FB homeschool group - typical post - math curriculum recommendations for x grade: Answers - XYZ, or ABC-My kids LOVE it!. There is no thought or info in the answers, just a listing of what they use. No info about good points/bad points/where it excels/where it lacks/what type of student it is good for/etc. Like choosing a math curriculum should be based on popularity! (Huge heaps of scorn!) People do not seem to be interested in spiral vs. mastery nor if the geometry is proof-heavy or not nor if the pages are crowded with little white space to work which is overwhelming to some kids.
    5 points
  38. I mean, they're working on the family payments. If it happens, it definitely won't be tied to mothers specifically. It'll be tied to kids and families. Mothers have been specifically harder hit in the pandemic than a lot of other groups and I think that needs to be recognized in society and in policies that help working parents. I think it's important to call out that not having better family leave policies is specifically anti-women. Women bear the brunt of those lack of policies. The reason there's not more traction for them is because society takes advantage of women as free labor and has forced many women out of the workplace during the pandemic as a result. But with the exception of medical leave for birth being extended, the actual policies should be for all parents. And the data bears out that that's better for women anyway.
    5 points
  39. I use the daylight savings time changes to remember small, but necessary, household maintenance tasks that can get forgotten: Change the batteries in smoke detectors Clean the dryer vent Stock up on batteries, light bulbs, etc. Check the emergency supplies in my car.
    5 points
  40. I just learned about this group, Letters Against Isolation. It was founded by two teenage sisters who said, "We realized that without visitors or the ability to interact with the wider world, many senior citizens may be growing lonely. Senior loneliness is a well-documented issue and has effects not only on seniors’ mental health but on their physical health. We believed that we could do something to help this situation. We decided to spread some joy and write handwritten letters to residents of assisted living facilities and care homes. When growing demand for letters outpaced us, we started Letters Against Isolation. Letters Against Isolation has since expanded to serve thousands of seniors in the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, and Israel." Anyone can sign up to participate. You are sent a spreadsheet with addresses every two weeks and you can sign up to make as many or as few cards as you'd like. Here's another organization that's apparently been around for 25 years: Color a Smile. You print coloring pages or drawing pages from their website, send them the completed pages, and they mail them to nursing homes and (to a lesser extent) to members of the military. They will even validate volunteer hours for completed pages. Thought some of you might be interested. 🙂
    5 points
  41. I actually remembered to make the slaw early. It will taste much better. had breakfast and made a second cup of coffee
    5 points
  42. Good morning!! Today I have: ....more sewing ....D&D gang here ....more coffee ....put away the laundry from yesterday ....go see the neighbor about the curtain ....go get my new sewing machine!!!!!! .....anything else that comes up Have a great day, everyone!
    5 points
  43. That is odd. I've never had any adult material appear on Duckduckgo, even on moderate settings. Something seems to have gone very, very wrong. Clearing the cache (and internet history, as Katy advises) would be a good thing to check, but you're right to be concerned because a search engine that doesn't track you shouldn't behave like that.
    5 points
  44. I don't disagree that it might function as religion, but many of the videos of the QAnon folks in the capitol suggest they think they are Christians, even if they don't attend church. There are some churches that have completely subsumed QAnon into their End Times theology and preach on Q drops. I don't have a link right now, but I had one a few months ago (might have been inside an article on Christianity and QAnon). The bolded--I see the same thing. This is exactly my point. People scoff at them (me) for believing in creation (plenty scoff at old earth as well as young earth), so they think if they are going to be scoffed at, the scoffing is based on prejudice, not facts. They aren't going to be persuaded to give up being scoffed at for young earth beliefs to be scoffed at for old earth beliefs. (I am not going to get into a creation debate, but plenty of people scoff at anyone who is a creationist, even if they believe in an old earth view. Yet people with an old earth view feel that science is on their side--perhaps it is more in line with science, but plenty of atheists put them all in the same bucket labelled "Crazy." My experience is that people who are wholly secular don't generally distinguish one kind of creation from the other except maybe people on this forum.) People who see some truth in some of the QAnon conclusions (without knowing where they came from) are likely to just glom onto those ideas and lump them in with End Times or some other thing they feel is the closest thing and take any shade coming their way as vague persecution because of their Christian beliefs. The proof of legitimacy is, in their view, wrapped up in the scoffing and persecution. Yes, and I think the bolded can take many forms, not just Q. I think people can become obsession with all kinds of things that aren't as nuts as Q but that they start pursuing with religious fervor.
    5 points
  45. LOL! No, I've talked about it again and again over the years because I want people to know that taking your time in math can be GOOD. You do not need to keep to someone else's schedule if you are not in school. Homeschooling is all about adapting to what the child needs and if they need more time in math, well give it to them.
    5 points
  46. I don't want to offend but I don't think you can discuss Q, where it came from and how it grew, without also discussing the religious right. I think that many of the hard-core Q believers are actually less likely to be regular church-goers. I suspect that Q orthodoxy replaces religion for many people. I've observed that the people I know who are regular church-goers are not Q believers but often spout conspiracy theories originating in the Q world. I am writing this as a religious believer but what is the difference between believing in any religious orthodoxy and the Q theories? We ask how can people believe in Q but how many Americans believe that the world was created 6 thousand years ago in 6 days. I wrote upthread about how panics about child abuse are actually about other societal changes that scare people. Is Q a manifestation of a society that is becoming more secular? The habit of religion in its American form, with dogma and dramatic conversions, is still there but the practice of religion, going to church, has stopped. So people apply their habits to something new.
    5 points
  47. Friday update! I have the smartest little canary ever. So, I was looking at her feet today, both of them, to compare the sore foot to the non-sore one. I was looking at them from all angles. The little smarty pants looked her feet over carefully herself, and then held one up in the air while looking at me--like she was doing it to show me! I have never seen her just hold her foot up like that, in mid-air. She held it still for about two minutes. It wasn't the sore one, and she never put it up into her feathers like she usually does when standing on one foot. Adorable. She's doing great. Eating well, preening, taking baths. We haven't been home much today, but neither DD or I have seen her tuck her sore toe in her feathers. Re: the photo looking like a painting--it's from my DD's phone, and DD is overly fond of filters. So that might explain it! 🙂 She is just as cute (cuter!) in sharp focus. 😉
    5 points
  48. From that article: I think that fear of the Other is a big part of this. They don't trust that people with a different worldview can be honest. What I don't get is that they don't see the dishonesty on their side, or they dismiss that dishonesty as not being as bad (all politicians lie, but at least we got our judges). I find this particularly dismaying because I am conservative (moderately), and I am painted as being not at all discerning because I won't look past lies and "I am suddenly pro-xyz because it will buy me votes." But mistrust is definitely a thing. True. I think this is difficult for them. My views are pretty much the same between 2015 and 2020 in the sense that I stayed more traditionally conservative, but moderated a bit (moved a little left, but not over the fence left). Those around me went extremely right in a matter of days between election day 2016 and the next Sunday at church. They had somehow managed to talk themselves out of any and all discomfort they felt about choices they didn't want to make, and I was not on board, so I had to be pre-empted. We couldn't have conversations from my POV (but they could explain their reasoning). If a conversation had to take place, my position was defined up front as invalid and essentially a capitulation (I voted third party and had tons of reservations about what their vote would do to the moral fabric of Christianity). No one had to mention me by name--they just had to shut the conversational door so fast that I couldn't get a toe in or check my ID, so to speak, to be sure that if I came in, my ideas would be ushered right back out. And this is largely with people who would say they don't follow Q (but I would posit that some stances where people actively compare End Times prophecy with what is going on in the world becomes cultish even if theoretically, my belief in the end times is similar to theirs). With the Q people it's worse. Regarding where this intersects with people who claim Christianity is that I think many Christians think, "No one supports Christianity, and the Bible tells us we'll suffer scoffing and persecution, so I might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb" and then they just stop thinking critically at all. They see the anti-Christ behind every bush (except bushes festooned with a red elephant, lol), and they just lose their ability to reason. Right now, everyone on my FB feed is convinced that Facebook is censoring scripture verses and sharing memes about it (apparently they did block a specific site and have now fixed that problem, but I think the memes started first). I am not sure how many are interested in my assessment of the religious right, but I do think that religious vs. secular adds another layer of stuff to break through.
    5 points
  49. Freeze things like soup, spaghetti sauce, and cooked beans in pint sized wide mouthed canning jars. Because these have no shoulders, they don’t have to thaw completely before you can slide the contents out into a pot to heat up. Thaw the sides by putting the whole jar into a bowl of hot tap water.
    5 points
  50. @BlsdMama: Actually, that sounds like a very civilized conversation for FB: you presented your method (your opinion) and why, and then someone else presented a different method (opinion) and why. No name calling, no flaming, no "you're wrong I'm right." That's a good thing, when people reading that FB thread can see there are different approaches for different goals. Gently, maybe you're taking on more than need be here? What the readers of that FB thread decide is up to them. It's not your job to convince or convert them. 😉 You've done your part--and a great job of it too!--of explaining a solid method and why. You're not responsible beyond that. It's really okay to say this method worked great for us, and why, and move on. 😉 JMO: It is super kind of you to take the time to help out others on FB with your experiences, ideas, and thoughts. I know it is benefitting others, even if they aren't speaking up to thank you! Actually, that's been a lot of what I see on these boards for most of the 20 years I've been participating here. 😉 Obviously not everyone does that, but so many times I see 1/2 to 2/3 of the responses in a thread just say: "We use this and love it!" -- and don't take into consideration what the OP's *actual stated needs* are, to be able to suggest something that might actually match -- and explain *why* that might be a match. Or at least take a moment to explain how "the program they love" works, and what pros/cons have been with their different children.
    4 points
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