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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/27/2021 in all areas

  1. Grab the heaviest frying pan you can comfortably wield, squint your eyes narrowly, and say in a quiet but adamant tone, stay the #$%& of of my kitchen when I'm cooking! That was easy Bill
    19 points
  2. I have placed an order for a yard dragon.
    17 points
  3. Drive East till you see some mountains. Stop and ask someone directions to the monolith. Look for a cat named Obama. Follow him home. Knock on the door.
    17 points
  4. I do! I have a milkman! It's the coolest thing and was by far the best thing to happen to me in 2019. We have this local dairy, Homestead Creamery, with cows that have names and you can go visit and pet. You can buy their products at the grocery store, but if you sign up, for a smallish delivery fee, they will bring you milk in glass bottles, and the best part - take the glass bottles that you have emptied and rinsed out back to the dairy to reuse, so I don't have to go through the time consuming (and socially stressful) process of returning them at the store to customer service. You can get milk, eggs, butter, ice cream, and a few other dairy products and some selected meat and bakery items. We don't get anything other than milk and sometimes ice cream, because while the products taste better (and in the case of the milk, a LOT better), they are a bit more expensive and it's hard for me to justify that for eggs and butter and stuff.
    16 points
  5. Praise the Lord, she is much better. She is sitting on her perch again. She ate a little kale, preened her feathers a bit, and even tugged at one of her toys. Poor thing, she spent a little time studying her nail, too. I can see that I definitely got it too short somehow. Maybe she moved it or maybe I just misaimed the clippers. They grow so fast, so I need to learn how to do them.
    16 points
  6. Ok, he just came out of his room/office and I said, "I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings earlier, but when I'm cooking I just have all this stuff (listed it) going on in my head, and I don't have mental space to chat. He said, "Oh, okay, I didn't realize it was that kind of moment." I then said, "WHENEVER I'm cooking, it is that kind of moment. That's my peak busy/overwhelmed time." He was totally flabbergasted and said, "I thought sometimes it was just a bad day, i didn't realize EVERY time." Yes dude, EVERY TIME. "Oh, I didn't get that". Me, thinking, "I picked up on that", lol. So....he says he's not upset, he just didn't know. He just figured it was our only time to chat. I said that wasn't true, we can chat in the evenings. He said "but you are often reading or whatever then." I had to explain I'd MUCH rather he chat when i'm relaxed, reading a book and kids are in bed. MUCH. Yes, I'm often talked out, but better that than when high heat and sharp knives are involved! Seriously, with my ADHD it is a miracle I don't set fire to the house on a regular basis. I HAVE melted things more than once turning on the wrong burner (we had to label them for a while with sticky labels), I burn myself on the regular, I have cut myself more than once, etc. Let me focus!!!
    15 points
  7. Can you shift the schedule at all? If his can't, can you feed the kids 30 min before he comes out for his break? Then maybe you two can eat together while the kids play outside or in another room?
    15 points
  8. This is not the best quality, but I found it on my DD's phone. 🙂 [Pic removed.]
    14 points
  9. So, summary, he truly thought the 3-5 times a week I gave him side eye and told him I was busy right then were all individual things, and not an indication that while cooking I am busy, as a general thing.
    12 points
  10. Thank you so much! She is! She had a good appetite this morning for her apple and seed. She was chatty and spent a long time preening. I am so thankful. 🙂
    11 points
  11. How on God's green earth would someone living in the states not be aware that it's an offensive word? They would have to not know what it meant, and it strains credulity to think that a person out and about in the world doesn't know what it means. Ho has been in the mainstream for well over 20 years, it's not some new slang. My parents and dh's parents are all in their 80s, and they know what ho means. It's believable that an elementary student would use ho as an insult without truly understanding what it meant; this is a grown man, out in the world, on social media. He knows what it means. He just thinks it's okay to publicly call a woman a whore.
    11 points
  12. This thread is like all of chanting, “Do it! Do it! Do it!” until you bought it. As to whether or not it’s a girl or a boy, show the dragon the dishes I just bought. I showed a picture of them to my ds15 and he got all upset, “Those are too girly! You can’t get those!”. He haaaates them. So, if the dragon hates the dishes, then it’s a 15 yo boy. If the dragon loves them, it’s a girl dragon.
    10 points
  13. 9 points
  14. I had a summer job one year when I was in college. When I walked in they asked me my name and when I told them they said I could stay. I was puzzled until they introduced themselves: Jamie, John, Jeff, (another) Jeff, and George. (George worked in the warehouse, not in the actual office -- I often wondered if they wouldn't let him in because he only matched phonetically and not alphabetically...) ETA: I forgot Jim. I knew there was someone else in that office. And, yes, apparently my brain remembers all kinds of dumb stuff since I can remember their names 20+ years after working with them for only 3 months.
    9 points
  15. You have a milkman? I haven't had a milkman since I was a kid in the 60's. Wait... what year are you in?
    9 points
  16. I have praised these graphic software programs that compete with Adobe's Photoshop/Illustrator/InDesign (respectively) on this forum many (many) times. They are unbelievably good programs at $50. If you (or a child) has a desire to learn/own a professional graphics suite--and doesn't want the burden of subscribing to expensive Adobe Creative Suite--I can't recommend these enough. Almost didn't post, as I don't want to seem "spammy," but I feel blessed to have such great software. These are not casual-user oriented programs. Great for serious learners/professionals who want deep tools. An unbelievable bargain for the right person. Bill
    8 points
  17. I tend to agree with most posts above... No meter readers-- we do not share a fence (well we do on one side but they are elderly). We had a $$$ security system installed that has lots of features like 'glass break' sensors because we have lots of windows...Our neighborhood is new-- so crime rate is extremely low (like it was zero reported crimes when moved in!). I thought DH had gone overboard with the system-- but I'm now glad he did! Trip (dog's name) is about 130-140 pounds-- classic GSDs are HUGE. Yes GSD's are smart enough to open gates-- but not this one (LOL)-- well, he is too lame and would have had to get up on back legs (not happening any more). We did have one GSD in the past who opened doors and another who would literally say 'out' when he wanted outside! Gates now have locks. No big deal since we never use the gates! (another reason I doubt the dog did it because he would need to see that they opened). DH and I work from home and I'm quarantining--we do go for daily walks and are making it a point to get to know as many neighbors as we can. I think this will help the most. We have several 'retired' neighbors and they seem to be busybodies (and like to talk) so we know the house is being watched out for!. -- As a special thanks for your help-- here is a picture taken 9 years ago when he was around 8 weeks old (and over 30 pounds!)
    8 points
  18. Honestly, I'm angry on your behalf. The comment of, "Most women would want their husband to kiss them," feels super manipulative and disrespectful. But that's a high trigger thing for me.
    8 points
  19. My mother in law scavenged us a toaster oven. The neighbor died and their children were just throwing it out. Can you believe that? So she rescued it and gave it to us. My husband attempted to make toast in it at 8 am. It's now 12:30 am and the house still smells of burnt toast. I didn't know that toast shrunk when it was blackened. My husband has a few other experiments in mind for it.
    8 points
  20. It sounds like Katie's husband honestly didn't realize why this was causing such continual frustration for her. She explained it in a very kind way and now he gets it. Some of the reactions here seem a little over the top to me. Her husband is obviously crazy about her and that's great! And since he loves her so much, here's hoping the chat they had will help improve the situation. I feel for you, Katie! That kind of situation would leave me WAY overstimulated and not wanting anyone to talk to me, let alone try to cuddle with me. But people are different and sometimes need those differences explained in a clear and frank way.
    7 points
  21. This might make no sense in your context, because your kids have never been in school, but since my kids were used to packing lunches for school the night before, when we started homeschool, we just kept doing that. They'd pack their lunch after dinner, put it in the fridge, and then at meal time they'd go grab the lunches and we'd sit together and eat them. So, they were making the decisions about what to eat when they weren't starving.
    7 points
  22. I wonder if, rather than presenting this or thinking of this as a problem with DH or with DH's behavior, you need to shift to thinking of it as a routine that was working, and that has stopped working due to new circumstances, including your DH at home, and maybe some developmental shifts in your kids as well. Could you sit down with DH, at some time when you aren't planning a meal and say "I'd love for us to be able to eat together as a family, and to build routines that support healthy nutrition. Can we figure out a meal time routine that works? And start from the beginning? It seems like there are lots of things that might work. 1) He could maybe (or maybe not, I don't know his job) stop at a predictable time. 2) You could meal plan, and make a menu, and then lose the stress of figuring out what to eat in the moment 3) He could take a role in getting food on the table. 4) Your older kids could become more active participants, making food etc . . . Etc . . .
    7 points
  23. He could battle my yard wizard!
    7 points
  24. Thank you all SO MUCH for praying and sending good wishes! I appreciate it so much. ❤️
    7 points
  25. I married a fund manager...
    7 points
  26. We have a milkman, too.......and his name is Brent....hmmmm......
    7 points
  27. Also--generally speaking I love low-cost spay and neuter programs. That said, I would not want any of my money going to PETA. Their "shelter" is notoriously high-kill and they use their platform to speak disparagingly of no-kill shelters. I'm not a fan.
    7 points
  28. Yes, I'm completely convinced my oldest child would starve to death without Homestead Creamery whole chocolate milk. Many days it is the only food they consume before dinner time. It is really, really delicious! Oh, I've been very open on the Hive about my location and even real name. I'm not worried about it. Maybe the city would hire me for their tourism board? It's a very nice location. We're in a valley surrounded by the Blue Ridge Mountains. We're big enough that we have pretty much everything I want (except a Cinnabon), but we're small enough that "a long drive" is like 15 minutes at rush hour. Cost of living is quite low but we have rec centers that in non pandemic times have a wide assortment of interesting classes and a fantastic library system and decent public schools but without the hyper competitive northern Virginia environment. Four distinct seasons. It would be a bad place to live if you're really into ice hockey. We don't really have a full time ice rink.
    7 points
  29. We have a milkman, too! And Today was delivery day! We get milk, cream, and eggs every week. We get the half-gallons in plastic rather than glass, though, because I order 4 gallons of milk each week (so, 8 half-gallons). I'm afraid my refrigerator shelves couldn't handle the weight of the glass jars. We can have anything that they stock in theirs small farm store delivered, so sometimes I can get artisan pirogi or fancy pizza. I have ordered bananas and oranges before, when we had run out from the regular grocery store, but they are more expensive.
    7 points
  30. My husband has worked from home while we've homeschooled for more than 20 years. I don't buy junk food/drinks regularly anymore. I buy only as much as I think is appropriate and when we're out of it, we're out of it. I shop every 7-14 days. I'm not into babysitting adults, so I'm not going to monitor food for an adult. I do make a healthy snack daily for all of us: fruit/veg and unsalted nuts or berry and Greek yogurt smoothies, and serve very nutrient dense foods at meals to keep the junk food snacking to an absolute minimum. I pick a set lunch and dinner time that works the best for most of us most of the time with a little wiggle room on either side: noon and 6pm and I only allow rare exceptions. Kids know to be home from the neighbor's house then. When my husband has the chance to influence the scheduled meetings, he works around set meal times times as much as humanly possible. Any individual who can't make it to the scheduled family meal works around the group. It's an important part of personal growth to understand that individuals shouldn't derail group situations. There are rare occasions when the group should adapt to an individual, but not often. So if my husband or teen or I has a meeting or an appointment or whatever and they can't be there at noon or 6, they take care of their own meal by making due with leftovers or easily heated up pantry options like a can of soup, crackers, microwaveable Asian food packets, microwaveable rice, sandwich meat, ramen, etc. that I keep stocked up on for just such an occasion. Usually it's pantry stuff or leftover dinners if they need to eat before noon and leftover lunch/dinner that I made if they need to eat after noon or 6. I don't classify conversation in only positive and negative, I operate in neutral most of the time. Neutral includes, "I wish I could listen to you now, but as you can plainly see, I'm very busy, so talk to me about this later when I'm not busy." Then I would turn my face and body away from spouse or kid and get on with what I'm doing. And it's never mean to state explicitly what someone didn't pick up intuitively, especially if they've had more than a couple of chances to. So if my husband hadn't picked up on how incredibly irritating it is to me to be hugged and kissed in the middle of a task (that's a read the room kind of thing) then it's perfectly fine to state matter of factly, "I don't enjoy physical affection while I'm __________________________________, so don't do that again. I enjoy physical affection when ____________________________. " If it happens again it's perfectly OK to dig deeper into it with, "I clearly stated I don't enjoy _____________________ when I'm ________________. I clearly told you not to do it again, yet you did. I think you owe me an explanation as to what motivates you to do something I clearly told you I don't enjoy." And I'd wait for an explanation while making eye contact and tilting my head a bit to show I'm listening. Any excuse he tried to give (like other women would like kisses) I would meet with, "Explain to me how in your mind what you think someone else would like overrides my clearly, explicitly stated description of what I like." And again, I'd wait for an answer. Any time after that it happened again I'd move into a firm negative tone and say, "We talked about this and you're not respecting my wishes. What's that about?" I've stopped asking people to repeat themselves if they talk to me from another room and they're not calling for help in an emergency. My family members think I have hearing loss. I let them. I pretend I can't hear them at all from another room. I just go about what I was doing and I don't fret that I'm missing some critical piece of information or that their self-esteem is so fragile they'll collapse internally at being ignored. They usually just come into the room, say my name, and start over. When they fail to adjust their volume for the situation in the room (tv, dishwasher, washing machine on) I ignore them or I tell them matter of factly that their volume isn't adequate for the environment. If it happens again I go back to the same type of question, "You've been clearly told __________________ is a problem, but you haven't adjusted appropriately, why is that?" Some people (certain subsets of extroverts and introverts) are not deep thinking, reflective types. Asking them out loud the question they should've asked themselves can be useful to them. Will it irritate some of them? Yes, but that's a their problem to solve. We live a more compartmentalized, ordered life. There's focused work/school time, meal/chatting time, work/chore time, free time, family/chatting time, and then usually more solitary time/independent reading time before bed. Spontaneous living doesn't work at my house with different people doing different things all day. We do best with designated times of doing the same thing or parallel things at the same time on weekdays. When we're together for meals we talk about things and show each other funny gifs and memes. Those things can all be saved for later viewing. We also have chatty time after dinner and family time (often watching a tv show together or a read aloud or other book we're all reading independently at the same time) to talk to each other about life, universe, and everything. Extroverts need to be responsible for their own socializing as much as possible. If your husband needs more social interaction that you do, the burden of responsibility is on him to make up the difference with people other than you. He isn't a young, minor child dependent on Mom and Dad for getting out into the world and connecting with others. He's a grown man with a cell phone, internet connection, car keys, and basic communication skills. He can meet up with friends in outdoor settings during the pandemic. Other people are managing to do that.
    6 points
  31. Is there a way he could set a specific time for his lunch break on a given day, so that you can have the meal together? He may not always be able to take his break at the same time, but maybe he knows enough of his schedule in the morning to be able to say that that day, he's breaking at noon? If his breaks are totally self imposed and don't depend on meetings, maybe talk about it and develop a routine where he takes his break at a determined time? That way, you can anticipate.
    6 points
  32. Can you premptively give him a task? Kiss first, then Hey can you please find my phone and start the next load of laundry while I get lunch on the table?
    6 points
  33. Mine would just not believe that it was a problem. He'd be like, oh, there's a toaster. No amount of warning him not to use it or to watch it would stick in his head if he decided to use it. He's actually completely wonderful in nearly every way. But he can't remember a certain type of practical thing. Like, to watch the toast if the toaster is broken. Or which pans you're not allowed to scrub the dickens out of (he's not allowed to clean the pans anymore after ruining my cast iron dozens of times over) or how to get home from a place he's only been dozens of times in the last few months. He once caught the car on fire overexerting the engine trying to get out of the snow as well, so his track record for catching things on fire is not so great.
    6 points
  34. Since Mr. D's has gotten a bit of a bad rap in this thread, I feel somewhat obliged to defend it. The live class really does help and the work level is just right for my busy dancer in his full time program. Making it work for my kid who does like to take shortcuts has meant I do need to spot check the work periodically and check in that it's getting done. However, once we had a routine down, it has mostly worked pretty well for him and me. I feel like he's progressing and understanding and it's fine. He's not a very academic kid, so I feel good that he'll be able to go through calculus before the end of high school and we'll probably have him finish out math at the community college next year. When he was mostly done with Mr. D's Algebra II, he placed into college precalc when he took the Accuplacer (which, it's a really cruddy test, but still, I felt fine about that) so I feel reasonably confident that he'll be able to place into calc after the Mr. D's precalc course for next year.
    6 points
  35. Nope not a Duggar lol. All my siblings and I are older than the Duggar kids. But having lived in a house where all the kids had the same first and last initials, I promised my future children that I would not do that to them lol. Each and every one of my kids has a different first initial. :-P
    6 points
  36. Feel free to share any hack, tip, or help that you know works. This is my easy peel recipe for hard-boiled eggs. I’ve tested this out about 3 times now and it totally works, no vinegar necessary: Easy Peel Hard-Boiled Eggs (Note: you will need either an ice bath OR if you don’t have ice, put some water in the freezer while the eggs are cooking to get it nice and cold—I’ve been successful with my eggs both ways.) 1. Get the water to a rolling boil before adding eggs. 2. Add the eggs to the rolling boiling water (this shrinks the whites away from the shells) 3. Boil gently for 13 minutes (turn down heat as needed) 4. Drain the water 5. Put the eggs into an ice bath (or the very cold water) 6. Roll them around in the ice bath so they each get a few little cracks. This helps the shells come away from the eggs. 7. When they’re cool enough to handle, peel them right away. The shells come off effortlessly and don’t pull off half the whites with them.
    5 points
  37. He is a grown man. If he wants to eat something unhealthy, that is his prerogative. It is not a reflection on your cooking or your timing. Tell him when lunch is scheduled to be ready. he can choose to take his break then, or he can choose to eat something else beforehand - but then let him eat whatever he wants. My (very easygoing) DH would be livid if I tried to police what he snacks on.
    5 points
  38. I hear Bernie Sanders had some nice ones... 😂 (sorry... my social media feed is still clogged with that so the word "mittens" is stuck there for me a little longer)
    5 points
  39. I used to hear my husband or one of the kids asking a question from the kitchen when I am half a flight downstairs in the laundry room. Finally I started ignoring it. The first few times they got their feelings a little hurt. I'd just say "oh, were you talking to me? I heard someone talking but didn't have a clue I was being addressed." It took a few tries for them to realize that it would work better if they walked into the room I was in, said my name (or equivalent endearment) and then ask/tell me whatever it was.
    5 points
  40. Quoting myself, which feels odd, but the report today from DHS reinforces the feeling I referenced above. If you haven’t seen the report, here’s one link to an article about it. It’s DHS, so take your pick of articles, left or right leaning about it. It’s the report itself I find discouraging. This one is WSJ, I’m sure someone will not like that resource, but there are many options. https://www.wsj.com/amp/articles/dhs-issues-national-terrorism-alert-for-domestic-extremists-11611770893 ETA: here’s the DHS report itself https://www.dhs.gov/sites/default/files/ntas/alerts/21_0127_ntas-bulletin.pdf in case the above is paywalled or distasteful to some.
    5 points
  41. What's funny is my kid with Aspergers can identify that I'm busy with no problem!
    5 points
  42. Sweetheart, I really like talking to you, but right now isn't the best time for me to give you my full attention. Could you help me do x, y, and z so we can get the kids settled and then we'll talk because it's so hard to concentrate at the moment.
    5 points
  43. Recipes that I use that include tomato paste only call for one or two tablespoons. I don't make them frequently enough to just keep the remainder of the can in the fridge (or to justify buying one of the tubes, instead of a can), so I scoop out tablespoon-sized blobs onto a small plate or piece of foil and freeze them. Once they are solid, I transfer the blobs into a container or baggie. When I need tomato paste for the next recipe, I can just take the amount I need out of the freezer and add it to my pan.
    5 points
  44. For me it took several therapists to find a good one, I think the good one was the third? She was no nonsense, and very likley a solution focused type therapist, looking back. I highly advise solution focused therapy. Did it work? Well...we got divorced. but, that was because my DH had mental illness he was unwilling to treat, he never tried to do any of the stuff he was asked to do to help himself, and flat out said, in therapy, "I don't really think I need to change" while unemployed and sleeping all day while neglecting my kid. We were doing individual and marriage therapy with her, and he got kicked out of his individual therapy for failing to actually focus or do anything during the sessions or in between, it was clear he just didn't care to work on it and assumed I'd stay anyway. But despite that, I think he would have said she was a good therapist. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm almost positive he went back to her years after our divorce. (he's passed away now). I think with a more mentally healthy spouse it would have worked. It helped ME, anyway. And I still recommend her to people. I learned more about being a healthy partner. Honestly, back then what helped as much or more was the Marriage Builders website and books. I don't agree with everything he says - for instance my circumstances and beliefs mean I'm not spending the number of hours alone with my spouse he recommends, etc, but it really helped me learn what works in a marriage and what doesn't. It is very practical advice. Again, my husband at the time was not willing or able to participate or be a safe, healthy partner. But the principals I learned from it I used in my current relationship, and I taught them to my DH, and it really really helped us. Had my ex been in a place to even begin to be a healthy partner I think it would have worked for him and I as well. He just wasn't capable, and I couldn't keep my son in that situation any longer. That said, I know you are Catholic, have you ever listened to More 2 Life? It's a podcast/radio call in show on Catholic radio with a husband/wife counseling team. I'm always VERY impressed with their practical approach to marriage therapy. And I know they do actual telehealth visits - I have no idea what the cost is though. Again, solution focused therapy. With them, and with the books i mentioned above, the idea is to get the couple to focus on the problem, not on attacking each other. Seriously, I find their advice on the radio show REALLY impressive and practical and useful - even though again I don't agree with them on everything in the world (things like child rearing and ADHD...I think they think it is overdiagnosed, although their actual child rearing advice is sound and based on grace and love and connection). I know you've just started back at work, so I don't know if the money is there, but if my marriage needed help, and I could swing whatever the fee is, I'd call them. I think they have books as well, but I've only read the parenting one. This is their counseling website (books and podcast/radio available there too): https://catholiccounselors.com/ Finally, two things. One, a reminder that you are in crisis right now in SO many ways - grief, pandemic, living situation, etc. Do NOT make long term decisions in the midst of a crisis. Neither of you are in a healthy place and although you are right to seek a way to help keep your relationship from being part of the problem instead of part of the solution, do not judge your relationship based on how either of you feel about it right now. Men in particular, in my experience, tend to blame external things for their internal turmoil. So, and I could be wrong, if he is blaming you or the marriage for his discontent or misery right now, rather than all the other factors, that's normal. Not okay, but normal. It can be worked through and yes, this is where therapy, or those marriage builder books, or something, come in. Two, I'll pray for you, your husband, and your family. If you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me or you can email me or find me on facebook. Email is katie.grok@gmail.com. I can't promise to have any answers, but I'll listen, and not judge.
    5 points
  45. Or just leave the bathroom light on with the door propped partially open? Yuck. It’s been very cold in the Midwest in the last few weeks.
    5 points
  46. @school17777 I find this so funny. Actually, his "guy who decides packaging", "guy who decides covid restrictions", and "meanwhile in australia" videos are all very funny.
    5 points
  47. I'm so glad your little bird is doing better. ❤️ What kind of bird is she? When I worked at the vet ER, we sometimes saw birds that had been nicked during a nail trim. We'd make a little bandage bootie for them to keep them from fussing at their nail, and they looked SO CUTE and SO FURIOUS that they had a boot on their foot.
    5 points
  48. My cousin, who is a lovely person that I love very much, gave all of her kids names that start with K. When all of the names would typically start with C 😄
    5 points
  49. When I saw the title of the thread I thought “Doesn’t everybody?” So I guess my answer is yes, you should.
    5 points
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