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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/03/2019 in all areas

  1. I talked to dh last night. Some of my feelings really are just being tired of doing it all by myself. The last 4-5 years have been pretty good in that we had money for outsourcing and I had a good support system with friends, but I was still mostly solo parenting day to day. And now I am just tired of it. He said that after next week, he really doesn’t think he will be traveling that much for the foreseeable future. He thought he put Tuesday night’s travel in the calendar, so that was just an oversight. And the one night travel later this month he just didn’t put in the calendar yet.
    16 points
  2. I will never understand how we take a simple request from a poster and have to turn it into some quarrel. Why do you ask? Did you daughter request your help? How do you know they want to live in the states? Just let them decide. Good grief why can’t we just ask a question and not have the worst assumed of us.
    13 points
  3. Hi! I made a quick account for this and probably won’t check back again(edit: lol nvm this is too interesting and great info!) BUT— I’m the daughter! This has all (mostly) been great advice and good info! Reading through some of this made me laugh, though. I promise it’s not that deep. My mom’s been very supportive and I’m grateful for her interest because frankly I’m out of my depth. I’ve been friends with my SO for a long time but the relationship began and developed quickly and while dual managing college and other important extra curricular activities, I really appreciate her asking t
    11 points
  4. I think it is important to understand that saying this is related to racism doesn't mean she had to think, "ooh - that's a black guy - I hate black guys! I'm going to shoot him!" It can simply mean that she has a lower opinion of black men, thinks they are more prone to violence, thinks they are scarier, and therefore reacted with that bias. And of course, the bigger issue is that she's a hothead with zero respect for human life or her weapon, training, etc.
    11 points
  5. I’ve never understood how hitting a child could effectively teach them to not hit things. I also file the “I spanked them one time and after that they never did it again” stories mostly in the same place as my uncles’ “the fish was THIS big stories”. We have had an amazing number of guidelines about sticks in our family. Size, shape, how they can be played with and who they can be played with and where they can be played with and where they can be stored and how long they may be kept depending on those factors. I also don’t think that losing something you want but are misusing can b
    10 points
  6. I think you're fine. Most of us could read your excitement and happiness between the lines. Hope it all works out without them having to pay an arm and a leg! Keep us updated what happens Christmas. 🙂 Don't allow some responses here to deter you from posting, please!
    10 points
  7. Whatever. People should chill. Just a mama wanting her daughter close when grand babies come along. Nothing new under the sun. And sounds like the kids wanna be near the girls mama too. So much drama for no reason. Canada is probably great but the greatest is where your loved ones are.
    10 points
  8. He has expressed to you how appreciative he is that you don't whine, complain, and make his life difficult like other spouses, but what that does is it puts pressure on you not to speak up. Reality is, your situation has changed completely. Can you sit down and just voice to him (kindly) how much you are struggling with this move, how out of place you feel, etc. And then ask him if he can nix the optional travel at least until you have your footing again?
    10 points
  9. Botham Jean’s mother raised her hands to the heavens and praised god for the guilty verdict. I’m not going to fault the prosecutors for expressing relief and joy at helping his mother get the verdict she was apparently praying for. While I agree there are “no winners”, I simply can’t create a false equivalency between the Jean family’s loss and the pain and suffering of the Guyger family. She’s going to prison for a few years at least. She will be ALIVE and free by the time she is my age (I’m about to turn 40.) She has lost her job. She has to live with her actions. But she’s alive
    10 points
  10. It's still there, by the way. The ladder is still leaning against the monolith. I have no idea why. My husband's theory is that it's to monitor how upright it stays as it settles. But now, the stop sign has a bumper sticker on it that says, "Flying Panthers." So...."Stop flying panthers." I would just like to point out that I am very much in favor of stopping panthers from flying. At the very least, I don't want any flying panthers in our neighborhood, so....solidarity? I'm a wee bit concerned, though. I didn't know that I should be worried about flying panthers in my neig
    9 points
  11. I certainly don't think they parse it as being imprisoned, and I also think a 3-yr-old is capable of understanding that parents prevent them from doing certain things in order to protect them. It's really surprising to me that people will make the argument that a toddler or preschooler interprets or responds to their front door being locked as being, on any level, equivalent to imprisonment. That has not been my experience or observation at all. I just don't agree they are capable of making the connection with the spanking when they are not capable of making the connection when you ta
    9 points
  12. It.would.not.occur to a person who does not hold racist prejudices to "talk smack" in this way. Or to be "only joking". The person may not have thought it through, but without racist biases it doesn't simply pop into your brian to joke about these things.
    9 points
  13. I'm procrastinating going and cleaning up my classroom. Can you tell? I am a world-class procrastinator. I'm particularly good at making it look like I was just prioritizing and taking care of more important things. It just always ends up that the things I really don't want to do end up being the least important. Isn't that convenient? I'm not sure I can convince anyone that posting four (five? six? ) times on ITT is more important. Darn.
    8 points
  14. work half day go hang out with my friends for the afternoon who are in town! 😁 Fill out some paperwork for the state Clean up the dog disaster (our foster doggie shredded a foam mattress topper and it is EVERYWHERE!) Clean up the kitchen a bit
    8 points
  15. Morning all! Things have been so busy lately, I haven't even had time to post. I've been going in too many directions. Today's list: sweep kitchen, start dishes start laundry morning school with younger ones switch laundry school with older ones lunch and afternoon dishes supper prep afternoon school make sure dd makes the bus for soccer game make sure ds is on time for xc meet finish supper, eat it, clean up Bible Study group tonight
    8 points
  16. I'm so sorry Jean 😞 I hope the med helps you. today's plan: 5 classes print tests for hs- doublecheck I've not missed anything else I need to do to prepare sweep and clean kitchen change sheets in bedroom take kids to TKD workout at gym- aiming for 1/2 a workout- we'll see how I feel 8k steps- inching back up after being sick parent teacher conference email/call garden ladies and reminder out for event tomorrow budget if time get papers signed by COA
    8 points
  17. Ok, so this is how I know I need to change my contacts. This morning I was watching the news and on the scroll at the bottom I read, "POTUS's lawyer fires slut." I did a double take and after rubbing my eyes to get the goop out I read, "POTUS's lawyer files suit." I really need to put in new contacts soon! Or not, and laugh my way through the day with all of my reading mistakes. Kelly
    8 points
  18. I feel like that white America (of which I know I am part of) is gaslighting the African American community. “Well, HOW do you KNOW it was racism?” when anyone with the least bit of experience can see when there’s racism in the mix. I’ve seen a bit of if up close and personal but I still can barely begin to imagine how gd exhausting it is to live with that every day.
    8 points
  19. So, I woke up. They apparently did remove some number of lymph nodes on the side with the cancer. So, we're waiting for the pathology report to know where we go from here, but we are now down to a "small chance" I will not need chemotherapy. But I'm here. I'm sore and tired and feeling pretty sorry for myself, but I'm here.
    8 points
  20. 7 points
  21. At the courts with a happy kid and his ball machine. He says he loses the ball a little on his backhand but that should get better with improved functioning in a few days. A couple of days ago, he had zero peripheral vision. I am enjoying the sunshine and reading in between baskets of tennis balls.
    7 points
  22. Yesterday was day 2 of super good bloodsugar control. And I "lost" another two pounds. . That is 4 pounds of inflammation in two days. I'm going for day 3 of tight bloodsugar control. 3 more pounds and I will hit my former recorded weight on my weightloss journey and it will start counting for real again. Human care done pet care done medical care done modified morning exercises done. And I'm late for Starbucks school. Off to put my shoes on.
    7 points
  23. Yesterday was day 2 of super good bloodsugar control. And I "lost" another two pounds. . That is 4 pounds of inflammation in two days. I'm going for day 3 of tight bloodsugar control. 3 more pounds and I will hit my former recorded weight on my weightloss journey and it will start counting for real again.
    7 points
  24. Okay, made the nametag. Packed up my sewing machine, necessities, projects, etc. Sent email to DH about DS's project (with link for info). Ate food. Decided what clothes, going to pack that now. Heard DS eat some food, so check and be sure he ate enough food to go to fencing. Then I need to put my school stuff from the living room back in my room (our room can stay a mess), and walk through upstairs to put it semi-in-order for the boys' D&D group on Saturday. DH will vacuum and such. Debating whether I take my computer on retreat or not......I don't know the wifi situation up t
    7 points
  25. We can go around and around on these issues. No one will convince anyone else. But I ask every white person on this thread to make an effort to listen to the voices of African Americans. The brother's forgiveness video is all over the news but you have to look a little harder to see more than that. Social media is terrible but it provides a way of seeking out alternative voices. There are plenty of AAs discussing this issue on Twitter and Facebook. Listen to them. If your reaction when listening to someone is immediate agreement, then look for other voices. Also, if you see s
    7 points
  26. Well I hope the brother is not feeling attacked right now for forgiving. Let each person grieve in the way that feels right to him/her.
    7 points
  27. Jen, so glad for the improvement! Praying for continued healing/no permanent damage, and that he gets cleared. Got up & moving early -- my DH said "I've never seen you this active, this early!" Ha. (he's right; I am a slug in the mornings normally). But, so far I have: ....folded/put away our laundry ....folded the rest of DS's laundry, set to take upstairs for him ...had my coffee ...sent a worksheet/info sheet I forgot about (oops) ....did my email stuff Still to do (before noon, so....3 hours....): ...make a nametag for my retreat ...pack stuff to work on bes
    7 points
  28. That is cool. Kind of like a modern day Hope Chest. Years ago girls worked on their Hope Chests from when they were young, adding quilts, sheets, towels, all kinds of housekeeping items.
    7 points
  29. Good morning! Dr appointment this morning. ds3 is hoping to be cleared for regular activity. He has lost a little sight in the eye (not bad, as it was 20/15 before and 20.25 now) and he still has to wait another two weeks to be weaned off all the drops and see if there is permanent damage. So he is hopeful that he can practice some today. coffee/paper ds3 up/drops dr appointment home to some school- due to the drops, it is hard to read-so slow going solo practice, if he is cleared drop box off at UPS hang at the courts- he is still limited in time prac
    7 points
  30. Good Morning!!!! COFFEE!!!!!,~D Friday Eve!! School & work today!! DH’s flight left 35 minutes ago, so he is somewhere between here and LA. He will sit in LA for 4 hours and then go to China. I overslept this morning. Kinda on purpose. I just didn’t feel like getting up. So, I didn’t.
    7 points
  31. Good morning! Regular school day here. Update YNAB (didn't get to that yesterday) Call vet to order Simparica - pick it up today? Dd to/from Bio lab Finalize Walmart order for AHG campout Check Dd's English - way behind on this! Call mom AHG things Figure out dinner!
    7 points
  32. Mine travels a bit, too, since we moved to Jerusalem (he is in New York as we speak and goes to England in November). I understand your reluctance to speak up and the very subtle pressure not to complain. 3 comments-- 1. You are in a partnership where your opinion counts and you have the right to ask for change. 2. You need to model self care to your kids, so do what you need to in order to get the rest and support that will keep you mentally, physically and emotionally healthy. Your kids are watching. Also, you are teaching them about marriage. Model a healthy one. 3.
    7 points
  33. Wow. I stated awhile back in the thread--his grandparents are in Lithuania. His father is in France and has no contact. Did you even read anything I wrote? You. Do not know me. Or my story. Or my girl. Or my relationship/esteem with/for the military. If you have a problem with me, message me privately. I have had enough of being maligned.
    7 points
  34. Are you being sarcastic? Because I consider it exactly the same.
    7 points
  35. We dealt aspects of this—last minute travel, poor communication of weekend plans, etc. I was ok with the fact that his job required travel. I planned life so that I didn’t need him in town, ever. The doctor appointment meant that I would have a sitter lined up for the kids and I would’ve Ubered home if I wasn’t ok to drive. I likewise budgeted for more childcare, takeout, etc. My line in the sand was that it needed to go on the shared electronic family calendar the minute he knew or suspected he was going to be traveling. (In fact I just heard that dh is actually going to be in tow
    7 points
  36. Oh yes there were winners: the lawyers who fought hard for justice in a case where justice is very rarely served; the mother who has some small amount of peace knowing that her son's life was seen to have value and his death was not simply dismissed as an unfortunate but unavoidable side effect of "normal" policing; and the African American community who have seen so many of their sons and brothers and fathers murdered in cold blood with no accountability. I'm not the least bit sad that an avowed racist who murdered an innocent black man sitting in his own home watching TV is going to pr
    7 points
  37. I got my arm lasered at the chiropractor. Best thing ever. Not a cure all but it feels a lot better. Plus, the doc taped up my arm so that might have something to do with it also.
    7 points
  38. I’ve lived my life as a white woman with a black brother. Which made me very clear on how privileged I really am in this culture. I take care of my black and Hispanic niece and nephew a lot. I’ve seen the difference between how most white people react to me vs, my brother and it’s really colored my view that yes, it is very often exactly that simple. I’ve been through traffic stops where the minute I am seen the entire tone and manner of the officer changes. We went through moves (homes, churches, schools) where people were all friendly until they see my brother. When you hear galloping,
    7 points
  39. Honestly, I have rarely found any kind of punishment to be particularly effective, either with my own kids or in decades of teaching. I spanked each of my own kids approximately twice, but it was not effective, and I felt crappy about it. Weirdly, all four times that I spanked (over diapered butts in toddlers) was basically a result of pressure from family and friends. But...ineffective and felt crappy about it. That said, time outs also were pretty much completely ineffective. So was removal of privileges. Sometimes, I removed privileges (such as sticks) because that seemed to be t
    6 points
  40. I end up feeling so busy after I make my list on here that I rarely get back to it! Today is half done. So far I have: -schooled ds -two loads of laundry (none folded) -cleaned a bathroom -took oldest to work because I need the car -nearly paid ds's 4-H registration before I opened my email. Our county does a reduced payment code and they were caught unawares by state sending out an email already. So I'll wait on the code. Still to do: -clean my bedroom and the kitchen -begin pulling out Halloween decor -take youngest to sports practice. -prep dinner -fold the la
    6 points
  41. Interesting fact about humans: we're not actually rats. Our behavior is somewhat more complex. And since you're relying on psychology, here's a fact for you: every study in the past 50 years has shown that spanking is associated with increased aggression, both later in childhood and through adulthood. This isn't one or two studies which might be wrong or might be flawed. Yes, yes, replicability crisis - but c'mon. ALL the studies show the same thing.
    6 points
  42. For those of you who aren't privy to these kinds of perspectives, I am sharing *some* of what has crossed my FB feed in the last 24 hours... When I said that the brother is a member of the family, not *the* family... This sentiment is very common.
    6 points
  43. Jean, I'm glad you're better and will hopefully make up the lost time. Jen, that sounds like promising news on your son. Will continue praying! Reader, have fun!! We went to the local technical college for ds to take the Accuplacer for dual enrollment. He is a nervous tester, so that made me nervous. He ended up scoring very well, and will take a light class next semester, an intro to computers. I know someone who took it and said it was easy but very helpful for other classes. He'll do core subjects next year and do less of those at home. Woohoo!! Done: breakfast an
    6 points
  44. The med worked but then I overslept!!
    6 points
  45. Good Morning! Happy Thursday! Yesterday's busy day went really well.
    6 points
  46. It's not my "take," but rather the "take" of an African American minister who works in Civil Rights. I think he has more of a right to have an opinion on these matters than me. He's not alone in his "take" either. But my "take" is that we are very quick to sanitize these things and move on - which is pretty easy for us (white people) to do. Let's all be honest here (or play the "race card"), we white people don't have much to fear from the police. Our sons don't get shot for holding a toy gun or while lying on the ground or [fill in the blank with the many atrocities]. So it's easy for u
    6 points
  47. I'm seeing the video of the brother embracing Guyger show up all over my FB. Of course the brother can do whatever he wants but something is wrong with this. Why does the 'forgivenness' always get so much press? I think it's because it's makes us (white people) feel good. Is it a "feel good/feel bad" story like "oh, isn't it great that the this community raised $100K so this guy could get chemo and not die of cancer because his insurance has a pre-existing condition." Ah...isn't it nice that his neighbors helped him...but wait why can't this guy have access to affordable healthcare? Hmmm
    6 points
  48. I would expect flying panthers to hang around with crouching tigers and hidden dragons.
    6 points
  49. They actually kept asking me "what breed of dog bit you?" and I'd have to explain AGAIN what a prairie dog is. I'm in NJ, no prairie dogs outside of zoos. Which is where I was when I was bit.
    6 points
  50. She was charged because she violated department policy and killed a man in his own home. She was convicted because the jurors thought she committed the crime.
    6 points
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