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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/19/2019 in all areas

  1. 17 points
    Please, please do not encourage him to try to enlist. Basic training is psychologically difficult for a stable person, never mind someone with the symptoms your DS is exhibiting. The military can teach a lazy person how to have more self-discipline, but it CANNOT cure or treat mental illness. I don't know why so many people think it can do that. When I was in basic training, one of the guys I was training with snapped and attacked a drill sergeant. Thank god it happened in the first phase and not when we were doing rifle training. During AIT they had a special mattress near the main stairwell where they could keep an eye on the soldiers who were suicidal. There was at least one every day. Your son needs to work with mental health professionals. Drill sergeants are not mental health professionals. ETA: I should clarify that I'm bringing up the mattress thing not to tell you that they have a lot of experience dealing with mental illness, but to say LOOK HOW WELL THEY DON'T HANDLE IT. Suicidal? Spend the night on the special suicide mattress where a couple of exhausted teenagers on fire watch can make sure you don't kill yourself when they aren't mopping. It's horrifying.
  2. 10 points
    A 70 something year old woman should just quite and get another job??? Seriously? In what world is its easy for a person in their 70's to get hired pretty much anywhere? People in their 50s are facing ageism, let alone 70s! And not wanting to go to full time at 76 years old is hardly something to consider lazy, etc.
  3. 7 points
    I truly think military service needs to be far down the list of options, if it even makes the list at all. There are too many red flags out for me to believe that military service is a good option in the near future. This young man needs psychiatric assessment and help and basic training is not an appropriate place for such a person. I know people think that a life in the military has the potential to “turn a life around,” and I’m sure there are situations where that is true. However, keep in mind that military training & service is emotionally and physically taxing for the healthiest of people. It very well could cause someone a lot of problems if they do not go into it from a position of physical and mental health & stability. Additionally, the purpose of the military is to protect our nation, not to act as a therapeutic environment for troubled youth. They simply are not equipped to do that.
  4. 6 points
    It is so sad though that we can't have a healthy vote and agree to disagree.
  5. 6 points
    I'm so sorry Yael. I have nothing but prayers to offer you. I hope you find help soon for your DS. I just wanted to comment on the suggestions to have troubled, potentially violent children enlist in the military. (Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, and that's not what's being suggested. I hope so.) I agree strict structure can be helpful for many kids, but really, do we honestly want psychologically troubled people who are already exhibiting worrisome behavior being given weapons training and then, perhaps, deployed? The military should NOT be used in place of appropriate mental health care. There are already enough issues within that organization.
  6. 4 points
    For a high school student, commuting by public transportation in NYC is very different than a new driver having access to a car and gas money to drive in all conditions to CC classes in rural areas.
  7. 4 points
    We have an AFSA, a Kroger, and a Ten Box. There's not a whole lot else, but there are some small specialty places. If I want something exotic, like actual Parmesan cheese, I have to drive two hours to get to a store that has it. But most places carry my GF flours so I can make my own blend, so there's that!
  8. 4 points
    Wow, I didn't know she had nine kids and still managed to fit in all that writing time. Back in the late 70's, early 80's I read a few of her books along with Barbara Cartland. Enjoyed them then, now not so much so I'd have to agree with you on the desperate reader front. Clark did remind me quite a bit of their styles which is why I probably don't like her now either. Yeah for 52! I knew you'd reach it with all the reading you do. So glad you enjoyed Still Life. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed and still am enjoying Michael Scott's Nicholas Flamel's series. I've read the first four and haven't read The Warlock yet. Glad you are enjoying them as well as Zero Day. I saw Hank Phillipi Ryan interview David Baldacci as well as Jacqueline Winspear interview Lee Child at Bouchercon several years ago which is what sold me on their books. Haven't been able to get into Storm Cursed. Not in the mood for something new. So decided to continue on with Silver Silence and Ocean Light which make a lot more sense now that I've read the series in order. Had forgotten so much. We've been spending every spare minute cleaning out the garage. Scheduled annual dump day today so we heaved all the stuff into the side yard over the past week and then hauled it all out to the street yesterday. Clean, clean, clean. Feels so much better. Still have lots of book boxes to go through and sort.
  9. 4 points
    It's Lost in the 50s weekend. There are lots of beautiful old cars and really stupid drivers.
  10. 4 points
    I am singing tenor this month.
  11. 3 points
    The girl that was supposed to take care of my old man this morning did not show up so I'm going in at 6 and leaving early.
  12. 3 points
    Today has been too much relaxing and not enough doing. I love days like that🤣
  13. 3 points
    Ah, I hadn't known this. Wouk was an author that my father truly enjoyed. My father's favorite of his books was Don't Stop the Carnival (likely because the main character of the book was a hotel manager as was my father); I just learned that the book was the basis of a musical and an album by Jimmy Buffett...who knew?! ** I posted this previously, but if you'd like to read a short work by P. Djèlí Clark, I suggest A Dead Djinn in Cairo. It is available for FREE as part of this large collection Some of the Best from Tor.com: 2016: A Tor.com Original Regards, Kareni
  14. 3 points
    I was surprised by the 16yos. It’s rare around here for them to have their own vehicle dedicated to their own schedule. It’s also not hugely common for our district to produce DE students. My own teens get chauffeured around to pricey classes (DE is discounted, but not free) and various opportunities by their sahm and flexible-hours dad, and are eligible thanks to their highly personalized education. They are extremely privileged, and they know it. Being related to and friends with people from a wide range of backgrounds, they see the different challenges that exist in life/the world/the US/their area. They’re very much aware that their situation isn’t exactly “normal”.
  15. 3 points
    I think where I live now, people will say their views, but in general they do it in a respectful way because they know people on the other side. I have no problem with that. I am worried about people assuming everyone is on the same side as them, and then not being as careful with their words and using more inflammatory language. Then I have trouble keeping my mouth shut because what they are saying likely isn’t true. Especially when they talk about the other side’s beliefs and I feel like they exaggerate them or misstate them and I have trouble not saying “I don’t know anyone who actually believes that.”
  16. 3 points
    Drove 3 1/2 hours. Had an excellent camp meeting. Some things are really coming together. Drove 3 1/2 hours back home. I was 2 hours away when I got a message from my neighbor that my Rottie/shepherd mix was outside menacing people. No one was at my house. My neighbor very graciously took Juliet in and all the puppies had a raucous play date. My husband is on the hook for this one too. Or rather he didn’t hook the gate properly last night.
  17. 3 points
    I sent dd15 off to an out of state karate tournament (OK, it's only two and a half hours away...) without me today. Wish I was there.
  18. 3 points
    All I can say is the experience of my mother's funeral is what cemented my plans to NOT have one. I will be cremated and told my kids to just have a gathering at someone's home. Honestly, that's all the funeral service really is at a funeral home; family standing around sharing stories and talking about the person (while their dead body is on display, which I cannot STAND - sorry - not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, but I have experienced it too many times, and just cannot get past it). My family does NOT need to spend upwards of 10 grand for that. **ETA - here it's typical for everyone to gather at someone's home after the funeral anyway. That's why I figure they can just skip the funeral and go straight to the free gathering.
  19. 2 points
    One more thought: does he have a typical ASD love of routine and familiarity? If so, how possible is it to visit a far away college either more than once, or for a fairly long visit? Like enough time to at least figure out where everything is, what the buildings and dorms look like, what food places are nearby, and so forth. My dd is NT but I know that making several visits to the school beforehand went a long way toward increasing her comfort level. We drove up for preview day (full day visit with department presentations), admitted students day, optional honors interview and meeting with departments, the honors reception for incoming students, then overnight early orientation once she committed. All of which let her meet people and become more familiar with campus. And yeah, it was a lot, but it's how my kids process and what they needed. Every school on the short list got visited at least twice (some long-ish drives but no flights). That's not doable for everyone or every situation, but it really helped us. There are kids who can evaluate a school on paper and step foot on campus the first day of class, but those kids are definitely not my kids, lol.
  20. 2 points
    Scan & Go don’t usually have lines. People scan. And go. I prefer them.
  21. 2 points
    I live in technically a purple metro area, but in my neighborhood/town I'm in the minority politically and yes, it does effect me. It means I don't discuss certain things in public or at least not with neighbors, etc. It can be kind of depressing at times, to be so upset about something political and know that most of the people around you feel the exact opposite. It never bothered me before this last presidential election cycle, and to be fair it really isn't that this area is mostly people of the other party, it's that this area is plenty full of what I consider the worst of that party, if that makes sense? Things that many in that party would disavow, those in my area would be loud and proud about. So that's more the issue than politics in general. It's better now, I lived, but yeah...in an existential way it can be a bit rough. I dream of living somewhere more in line with my views, but won't move just because of that.
  22. 2 points
    Yup, my reflexive response was “all of them”, too! I do lean toward overbuying, on purpose. Should I be left with a ton of extra buns, I’d stuff my freezers and send some to a food pantry. But athletic boys are unlikely to let that happen!
  23. 2 points
    Yeah. I would do core work spread into other semesters and count "History:Country B" and "Language Country B" as electives and "tour country B" as extracurricular. Then spend the time you're there immersively exploring. When I was an exchange student, while we did spend time in school we actually spent more time exploring the country- visiting historic places and touring factories and even grocery shopping and ordering in restaurants and navigating a busy city - those are the parts that stuck with me. We took our kids to the UK for about a month (just 1)... at home that semester they both studied British History and British Literature. We did no "school" while we were there but every visit and tour found its way into our field trip list .... Sherwood Forest and Stratford Upon Avon are pretty great British Literature field trips. Castles, cathedrals, Hadrians Wall.... pretty amazing for British History. It was an amazing experience. The end of the semester they studied Geology was spent wandering around all the geologic hot spots of Utah and down to the Grand Canyon. They'd tell you this is what homeschooling is about and all the other stuff is secondary.
  24. 2 points
    I think PeachyDoodle knows her kid and loves her more than randoms on an internet forum who are taking this waaaaaaay to personally.
  25. 2 points
    Yeah, Carrie, tell your mom to get it together, willya? (Sarcasm if you weren't sure.) Our CC campus is only 8 miles away, but public transit is nearly worthless so it's difficult to impossible for people who don't have access to a car. With fees it's $191 per credit plus books, so cheaper than some, more expensive than others. Fortunately some instructors have clued in to the fact that textbooks are a huge racket, and are using alternatives which are lower cost and sometimes even no cost at all. We could all point to someone with seemingly insurmountable obstacles who made it work out, and then use that as a club to beat up others who didn't have whatever it was - luck, grit, determination, whatever - that the successful person had. There are a lot of factors that go into it and they are not all under a person's control - however much we like to think that it is. ETA: luck is probably a poor choice of words. But I'd also add superior intellect. Some people just are smarter/quicker/more academically capable than others.
  26. 2 points
    also please note the college I pulled the link from, while may be good in other respects or circumstances is not ABET accredited and therefore not a good goal. But the infographic is still pretty good.
  27. 1 point
    We have owned homes in VA, FL, and SC and earnest money has always been required. Usually 1 percent of selling price (at a minimum, although our competitive NOVA market people generally did more to show interest). In VA your realtor held your check until closing (so it was never cashed until then) but in both FL and SC the check was cashed immediately and held by the closing attorney.
  28. 1 point
    Have fun! Dh and I lived in Nashville when we were young pups, about 30 years ago. I remember Green Hills as being one of the high end areas with beautiful homes - very nice! I worked for an accounting firm and many famous country stars were clients of ours. That was a fun time. Hope your dd has a wonderful birthday!
  29. 1 point
    Don't worry about it, he just needs a little time. I mean, my dd was disappointed in her freshman grades and took it hard, but now, a mere three years later, she accepts it with a measure of calm . . . 😂
  30. 1 point
  31. 1 point
    How many sides and desserts will there be? I would plan somewhere in the 140-210 range. I would ask whomever is providing the bbq, though, how much they are planning for and whether they are pre-assembling or allowing boys to serve themselves. Most boys I know would take larger portions of the meat but not get an extra bun for a bbq sandwich.
  32. 1 point
    Does he have GI issues? I did more of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet recommendations to try to help my daughter because of her chronic diarrhea, not because of her autism. (The GAPS diet is based on the SCD but with extra protocols for things like detoxification.) My daughter was already in her late teens, though. I think it would be really, really hard to get a 4yo to go along with everything GAPS recommends...especially things like drinking a lot of bone broth and sauerkraut liquid. It seems like the warmer summer months would be a really hard time to convince a little kid that he wants to start eating a lot of soup! FWIW, I was taking my daughter to a naturopath for awhile, and she was supportive of SCD but wouldn't go as far as recommending GAPS. Still, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying things like juicing or including more probiotics or other healthier eating habits. If there aren't GI issues involved but more behavioral issues, I'd look first to see if he might react to things like artificial dyes or even fruits, etc. that are restricted on the Feingold diet to help with hyperactivity. And I honestly wouldn't try to make huge changes all at once if it will cause a lot of family stress/chaos. Good luck!
  33. 1 point
    Howdy! I am glad it's the weekend, though still stressed about all the things I have to do & little time to do them. Kid 1 had a 5K this morning (Girls on the Run). I think she improved her time compared to the last 5K at this location. I should probably be logging them for reference .... Kids to a friend's house to play. Cleaned out my car. Me supposedly working right now. Pack some hand-me-down stuff for my sister's kids? Pick my kids up about 3pm, off to Asia Fest to watch a performance or two. Pick up some sort of mother's day & birthday gift(s). I already have the cards. (Don't forget to bring them!) Head off to my parents' house. Call my sister so she can bring her kids at the same time. Hang out with the folks. Back home, hopefully in time for the kids to wash their hair. Bed / work ....
  34. 1 point
    That is really interesting! But I do think that NOW Texas is friendly to homeschooling. I rarely see proposals to restrict or regulate homeschooling there, but since I've moved to California I've seen homeschooling restrictions hit our state legislature constantly (though we've done well in thwarting them). Meanwhile, in Texas, there were moves to try to make it easier for homeschoolers to participate in sports (there's an acronym...UIL or something like that, for the body that governs most school sports, and their rules make it hard for homeschoolers to participate). It was the HOMESCHOOLERS (or a good portion of them) who fought against this bill that made it fail because they wanted to keep the "no help/no interference" status of homeschooling in the state, fearing that it would lead to regulation on homeschoolers. That's more understandable now, actually, considering what you've shared about the state's history. I always thought it was a bit paranoid at the time. Still, I think overall Texas is, TODAY, extremely friendly to homeschoolers...even if it wasn't in the past.
  35. 1 point
    Never trust Amazon grocery prices. They're often completely weird.
  36. 1 point
    I think that the silent treatment is more rude than being withdrawn. If someone asks the hurt person a question, "withdrawn" would give a short answer while "silent treatment" would completely ignore the other person.
  37. 1 point
    I'm not going to Camporee today--we got a big snowstorm last night. I don't want to drive 4 hours through the passes. Scary thing with dh last night though. At around 6:30, we had a discussion about me going. I said I wasn't staying over Saturday night as it will be done (the LDS Scouts will have pulled out, so no one will stay) but I hadn't decided if I was going. Not 2 hours later, he got angry because I hadn't left. Um, I said I was going on SATURDAY, not Friday night. "Camporee has the word CAMP in it. So you have to camp!" What? He continued arguing, so I went upstairs. It was so weird. We had had the discussion just two hours earlier, but he claimed it never happened! This sort of thing is happening more frequently. I need to finished a pile of doll pinafores today. All 8 done! Laundry grocery run WM run, only they didn't have what I needed finished the Trust Award for Venturing with dd--finally! hung up CHEC posters all over town mailed dd's 26.2 sticker for her car. sweep walk read
  38. 1 point
    Agreeing with gardenmom5 that removing a large tree can cost thousands of dollars. We had a large oak that was 2K to remove, which was by far the lowest bid. Other bids were twice that. Whatever you decide to do is up to you, but don't offer to split the bill without knowing what it costs! Amy
  39. 1 point
    Aww. Shucks.😊 I'd happily pour you a cup of whatever you like if you ever venture to Oklahoma.
  40. 1 point
    Somewhat off topic, but my kids do / fail to do a lot of little things due to not having a system / habit. Just the other day I told one of them, "If you aren't doing this because you never remember, then you need to figure out a way to help yourself remember." She agreed. Of course she has not yet implemented this, LOL. I could understand offering scaffolding up to a point etc etc. But sometimes it is blaringly obvious what needs to be done, and the person is in fact making a choice to prioritize something else. She wants to read her fun book rather than write notes for the open-note test. Even though she knows she is unlikely to bring up her grade if she doesn't have notes. Maybe she thinks she will write the notes later or she will suddenly gain several IQ points by next morning? Either way, she is reading that fun book when she knows she should not be. Similar analysis as to why she's not putting her dirty laundry in the bin after being reminded, etc etc. Yes she probably has EF issues, but at some point, she is choosing not to comply. (And the proof comes when you see how fast her room gets straightened up when she really does want something.)
  41. 1 point
    Service Academies are very competitive. I don't think they look for applicants with a particular passion or kids who are well rounded. I think they have a set of criteria and look for kids who meet all the criteria or exceed it. They end up with plenty of those to choose from. That fact should not persuade anyone from applying. Research should begin as early as an interest is expressed. Course and exam selection in high school will factor into it, athletics (both team and personal fitness are huge), extracurricular activities and leadership are also important. This is one set of applications that requires the applicant to set out a plan for meeting all the requirements in a timely fashion and follow through on that plan. There are some who feel that completing the application early is important and gives the applicant more chances to be admitted, being recruited by a sports team would also increase one's chances. Also, one little talked about source of a nomination is JROTC units. Some of the nation's top units are permitted a limited number of nominations for their students. Physical Fitness-being able to clearly explain your personal fitness regimen to an interview board is important. Especially as a homeschooler with out significant sports team experience. Also not that the physical fitness exams and expectations are not the same for each academy or ROTC program. There are slight variations even with regard to what is a correct pull-up. If you are considering multiple service options you need to prepare for and be able to properly execute all the different options. These programs are not looking for kids who barely meet minimums, they are looking for solid fitness scores. Navy/USMC ROTC-If you have a kid considering the Navy or Marine Corps be aware that you cannot apply to both. You must choose between Navy and Marine option. While it is the same application there are different requirements, different physical tests, etc. There are also different requirements during your college years. ROTC Interviews: If the ROTC program you are applying to requires an interview from an ROTC instructor do try to set this up as early as possible. It can be helpful to interview with an officer at the school you most want to attend. ROTC is a long process that often begins at a recruiting station with someone trying to persuade you to skip college and just enlist. The applicant will need to learn how to navigate that politely to get to the next step. Also, in our experience, there isn't much transparency with the application process. You will learn each step after you complete the previous step. Don't assume that this is easy to complete at the last minute. Leave plenty of time. It is also important to apply early, ROTC scholarships are given in cycles and by completing your application before the first cycle you have the possibility to be considered in later cycles as well. Some elements of the application will need to be updated such as transcript and test scores, and the fitness test may need to be repeated. Universities may not have ROTC units for every service branch. You need to check and be sure that the school you are interested has a unit for the service branch you are interested in. You will need to list the schools you are applying to on your ROTC application. Be aware that your child will have to pass medical exams to be selected. They need to be prepared to discuss anything in their medical history that is out of the ordinary and how that problem has been resolved. It may not be your family doctor(s) who perform this exam. It will probably be someone contracted by the military and you will be notified where to go. In short, set up a personal fitness plan in high school, plan a solid academic program that would lead to successful college admission, look at the service branch you are interested in and check their academic requirements (math, science, and foreign language will take the most long term preparation), and finally, be involved in your community, look for opportunities to practice leadership skills. All of this said-if this is a deeply held desire of your kid, do the research and apply. Being homeschooled isn't a bar to successful admission to any of the programs that lead to commissioning in the military.
  42. 1 point
    DS gets to DJ tonight with his mentor at local arts district event. They are even letting him use beats he created. 🙂
  43. 1 point
    I had dreams a few years ago of traveling full time. We fairly seriously investigated the possibilities. Ultimately, the depreciation, maintenance and parking/hookup/gas costs all turned us away from traveling as a larger family. It’s much cheaper and more comfortable to travel by car and Air BnB long term. It makes for a more comfortable base and we all need room to sprawl into our separate places for a bit.
  44. 1 point
    I don’t get that comment? In my family, who is all geographically local, we have one kid who is in the top 1%, one who is in the top 20% and 3 who are well below the 50th percentile. How does this reveal our economic background, which is the same? Honestly, I’d like to believe it is just about the CB staying relevant, but it sounds like the information they provided actually had a substantial impact on outcomes last year at the 50 schools that used it.
  45. 1 point
    One thing I've seen elsewhere is that many high schools don't have a school profile document or have one that leaves many questions unanswered. When I read what CB is trying to it it seems in pary like information the school should be providing. But if there isn't a school profile then the info might not be there. It is possible that schools might also tend toward profiles that are largely positive and don't highlight what students have to overcome to do well. But the comment above about nit trusting College Board is my response in a nutshell.
  46. 1 point
    I agree. I don’t think the little swipes are intentional, but they are still here. When someone says she formula fed one of her babies even though she had no medical reasons, that would imply acceptance, but when it’s followed by saying that her reason was her “own ignorance,” that pretty much implies that only an ignorant mother would ever choose to feed her baby formula unless she had a medical reason for it. Again, I don’t think anyone is trying to be mean, but it’s hard not to read the posts as anything but judgmental.
  47. 1 point
    One area the slogan is popular is my special needs circles. But understand, you have mom’s dealing with exclusive pumping and long nicu stays and kids with NG/G/PEG/JG tubes for months or years on end. The agony of having to surgically alter your child to enable eating, especially when that often leads to struggles with milk production because of a complete lack of oral stimulation for letdown, is real. And then being faced with years of working on oral feeds IF THEY’RE EVEN SAFE TO SWALLOW, where you’re trying to get your kiddo to eat frosting or part of a chicken nugget on top of the formula you pump into them.... fed is best is absolutely the best slogan there, no formula companies involved. It staunches at least some of the mommy tears. I’m not a big fan of it outside of special circumstances, because it does have that baggage, but in the tubie kid circles it is very popular for the above reason.
  48. 1 point
    You know, I hadn't tied this fight into the whole "letting perfect be the enemy of the good" obsession we have over food in general, but when you put it that way it makes way more sense to me. If we are judging people for say, buying cow milk when almond milk is healthier, but then judging them for buying almond milk and contributing to the drought in california and then if they switch to soy judging them for the phytoestrogens and then if they drive 10 miles further to get hemp milk judging them for using too much fossil fuel to drive to a farther store, it only makes sense that we'd also be judging people about breastmilk. Sigh.
  49. 1 point
    My whole family loved the movie. But we love musicals and don't generally expect them to be accurate biographies. Which isn't to say I don't love accurate biographic documentaries also. I just don't need them to be together. One dd and I love Hamilton also, and it is far from accurate. I think Hamilton is a work of genius as a play/musical. (I am NOT saying the The Greatest Showman is comparable to Hamilton!!!) We also saw TGS in the theater first, and it is beautiful on the big screen. I also have a dd who was a serious dancer, so she LOVED the dancing scenes. I put TGS in the category of entertaining, not thought provoking.
  50. 1 point
    I love Lands End's relaxed fit tee shirts. They're not fitted but they're also not boxy like a man's tee shirt, the material is not too thin, they come in lots of colors, and they last forever. ETA: Lands End has really good sales, and since I get their catalogs I pretty much always have a code for 30-40% off, so I never pay full price for anything from them.
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