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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/19/2019 in all areas

  1. 18 points
    I am told they plan to, but I am not holding my breath until they make the offer. Then we will need to figure out how to see some houses this week PRONTO. Now DH and I are fighting over the cheap furniture. I am thrilled to just get RID of it, he is like, "We can't afford to replace it! Do we hate it? I didn't know we hated that!" 🤣 I am assuring him we do hate it. 😂
  2. 18 points
    They sent us a list of 7 questions last night. Kind of interesting, DH has had his office in the basement for years. For staging, we were told to bring it back up to the designated office space, so we did. Well, this new guy wants to put his office in the basement and wants to be sure the basement would work! 😂 There were questions about moisture in the basement (we have never had any) and why there were not more A/C vents down there, only baseboard heaters (it is mostly underground and stays between 60-68 year round.) . They also wanted to know the age of our pool, size of HVAC system, and if they could have a goat on our property. 🤔 Oh, and the mom asked if we would leave some of our crappy, yeah! Take all of it! Then I don't have to move it! Hoping we get an offer today .
  3. 17 points
    Please, please do not encourage him to try to enlist. Basic training is psychologically difficult for a stable person, never mind someone with the symptoms your DS is exhibiting. The military can teach a lazy person how to have more self-discipline, but it CANNOT cure or treat mental illness. I don't know why so many people think it can do that. When I was in basic training, one of the guys I was training with snapped and attacked a drill sergeant. Thank god it happened in the first phase and not when we were doing rifle training. During AIT they had a special mattress near the main stairwell where they could keep an eye on the soldiers who were suicidal. There was at least one every day. Your son needs to work with mental health professionals. Drill sergeants are not mental health professionals. ETA: I should clarify that I'm bringing up the mattress thing not to tell you that they have a lot of experience dealing with mental illness, but to say LOOK HOW WELL THEY DON'T HANDLE IT. Suicidal? Spend the night on the special suicide mattress where a couple of exhausted teenagers on fire watch can make sure you don't kill yourself when they aren't mopping. It's horrifying.
  4. 13 points
    Ok, so the potential buyers came back today, with their realtor, during the open house. They stayed for 45 min. past the open house, a total of over 1.5 hours. THey asked a lot of questions, told the realtor exactly how they would use each space, said the house was perfect for their needs, and just want clarification about a bunch of stuff first. She said they seemed very interested. They told their realtor this is the first house they have looked at that checks most of their boxes in their price range. So......keep praying and thinking positive thoughts. An offer may be coming in the next day or so.
  5. 12 points
    You just learn not to talk politics and get good at smiling and nodding. People are generally nice and normal across the political spectrum and there is much to commend many places, even if you don’t fly a rainbow flag in your yard or march with the local crisis pregnancy center. Bringing political views into daily discussions tends to polarize unnecessarily, where everyone would act pretty civilly and find a lot to enjoy about one another with that factored out. Honestly, at this point in life I don’t air my opinions even in company I’m pretty sure agrees with me. Because you never know who is listening in, and it’s just unnecessary to pontificate on polarizing topics in 95% of situations. Button up your lips and smile while changing the subject - it’s never a foolish choice.
  6. 11 points
    I don't know... I don't think I'd be steering this kid towards ANYTHING that puts a gun (or any other weapon) into his hands. Just saying ......
  7. 10 points
    I've been planning our trip to Nashville to celebrate dd's 20th birthday since January. I called the BB café to find out the process. Even though it's listed on their website I wanted to talk to a live person. We'll among hundreds and possibly low thousands we were selected (randomly chosen). We "upped" our chances by using 3 computers: DD's computer, my computer and my tablet. My computer won out. Anyway, she gets to go to BB café tonight - her 20th birthday! We'll enjoy it! And, last night we went to GOO (Grand Ole Opry). Liked many, many of the performers including Brett Young, Devin Dawson and others! I had no idea it was a live broadcast of the show. They still do this! We've discovered we REALLY like Nashville! Went to Green Hills Grille Friday night. It was fantastic. I ordered the lemon artichoke chicken with mashed potatoes and broccoli. One of the best meals out I've enjoyed!
  8. 10 points
    A 70 something year old woman should just quite and get another job??? Seriously? In what world is its easy for a person in their 70's to get hired pretty much anywhere? People in their 50s are facing ageism, let alone 70s! And not wanting to go to full time at 76 years old is hardly something to consider lazy, etc.
  9. 9 points
    If sin and pot turned teenagers into violent sociopaths, we never would have survived the nineties. Tough love is going to do exactly jack shit if this boy has a mental illness or personality disorder. In all probability he needs inpatient treatment, meds, and specialized therapy.
  10. 9 points
    At this point, in my head, Heigh Ho lives in a yankee version of Lake Woebegone, where all the children are above average but none get any classes except study hall, while driving on the ice uphill both ways, hoping to avoid the rush hour of 70-80 year olds working under the table jobs while collecting huge pensions and never paying any property taxes. I don't mean I don't believe you, Heigh Ho, but wherever you live just seems so vastly different than anywhere I've lived, or people I know have lived, or even people on this board have experience. It's like another planet to me.
  11. 9 points
    I don't know if it's considered a different culture bc both my husband and i are white, but I wasn't born in US and my family is all here, but neither me at 20 or me now would find this situation OK. If he is serious about your DD, he should introduce his family to her. If he is not introducing them to each other - to me it screams all kinds of red flags. But I am very harsh when it comes to what I consider excuses. He is not a child. He is an adult. And he is lying. He is either lying to your DD about his reasons or he is lying to his parents about his relationship. I don't like people who lie.
  12. 9 points
    Thirty teenage boys? I'm gonna go with all of them. You will need all the buns. 😂
  13. 9 points
    Please please. I apologize if what I'm about to say comes out wrong. Stop everyhing else you're doing. Treat this like you would treat any other EMERGENCY... this is not a time for contemplation. This is not a time for thinking about his long term future. This is a time to seek assistance, to make changes. Before you CANNOT. Imagine your son had been in a car accident and was hospitalized- what would you do? You'd call your DH and tell him come home right now. You'd reach out to your community- family, friends, temple for help with your other kids. Do that now. You wouldn't spend your time worrying about the impact on the school year, or his future career. You'd focus on getting him the care he needs RIGHT NOW. That's the urgency he needs from you. Even if he doesn't know it. Even if it looks like more of the same, it has come to a moment for action. Seek help and do it immediately, before he's 18 and you cannot help him. If it takes a couple of weeks to get help, you've got to get that ball moving. He's not going to do it. You said yourself, he thought the problem with making threats was that his friends ratted him out - not that making threats was the problem. Hes not capable of making good decisions right now. He doesn't see the seriousness of this, so you have to.
  14. 8 points
    Another thing for her to consider, is his philosophy on raising children, etc. as cultural differences can be huge here as well.
  15. 8 points
    I survived. Go, me. Bonus points: Bazooka stayed in the car. No casualties.
  16. 8 points
    The military is not a haven for individuals with checkered pasts. One of the questions they specifically ask you in recruiting is whether you have ever spoken to the police, been questioned, or picked up for any reason, regardless of whether there is a formal record. Also, very few non-high school graduates (e.g. GED holders) are allowed to enlist. The services need highly skilled, ALREADY disciplined individuals to serve. Recent history of pot use is likely to be disqualifying but adding to that possible mental health challenges and a history of threats toward authority figures is a recipe for disaster.
  17. 7 points
    Really though? Is someone saying they feel unsafe the problem when there's an actual rise in hate crimes and hate speech? When white supremacy is this emboldened? I mean, hashtag, not all conservatives, sure, absolutely. But complaining about the rise of these viewpoints being expressed openly is definitely not the actual problem.
  18. 7 points
    My ds does not practice our faith anymore, but ontologically, he is part of our family and part of the faith. That he doesn't recognize the latter doesn't make it less true. "my truth" and "your truth" is a modern idea. How the parts of the family interact and what is acceptable expression is a separate issue. I'm sounding curt because I'm whipped--long three weeks, and in some sense, long 7 years.. Please forgive me. I don't mean to be curt...but this is something I have thought a lot about but don't have the energy at the moment to expound. I will always love my son, and he will always be part of our family...whether he knows it or not (and increasingly, he does--both family of birth and family of faith--and I never thought, 5 years ago, that I would be able to say that).
  19. 7 points
    I have no insights on the question of cross-cultural relationships. However, I would hesitate to base my relationship and marriage plans on an idea that his family will never be more closely involved in his life. These things can change in unexpected ways.
  20. 7 points
    I'm so proud of all you AFSA survivors! Ds14 played really well at the recital. He is one of those anomalies in that he doesn't really get nervous and he plays best when he is performing. I do not have that problem. The wedding went very well, music timing was good, and they had a fantastic wedding coordinator, and the people are now married, so mission accomplished. Minor headache is lurking in the corners. I wonder if some popcorn would help?
  21. 7 points
    I went to the AFSA. Some weeks it seems I go to the AFSA every other day. It's annoying. I like the scan and go registers. I will go to the self-checkouts in any store I shop at before I'll go to a person. I'm a better cashier than most of the ones they have. Our AFSA usually only has the register that sells cigarettes open with a real person. I'm hoping to go nowhere tomorrow. Except I have to go to the science center at least briefly to feed the fish and the turtle. But other than that. And I can do that in my pjs.
  22. 7 points
    I truly think military service needs to be far down the list of options, if it even makes the list at all. There are too many red flags out for me to believe that military service is a good option in the near future. This young man needs psychiatric assessment and help and basic training is not an appropriate place for such a person. I know people think that a life in the military has the potential to “turn a life around,” and I’m sure there are situations where that is true. However, keep in mind that military training & service is emotionally and physically taxing for the healthiest of people. It very well could cause someone a lot of problems if they do not go into it from a position of physical and mental health & stability. Additionally, the purpose of the military is to protect our nation, not to act as a therapeutic environment for troubled youth. They simply are not equipped to do that.
  23. 6 points
    Happy Sunday and welcome to week twenty-one in our 52 Books rambling roads reading adventure. Greetings to all our readers, welcome to all who are joining in for the first time and everyone following our progress. Visit 52 Books in 52 Weeks where you can find all the information on the annual, mini and perpetual challenges, as well as the central spot to share links to your book reviews. It's time for a round of bookish birthdays and news. Herman Wouk, author of the Caine Mutiny passed away at the age of 103 last Friday. Herman Wouk Bucks Literary Trends to Produce Best Selling Novels. Herman Wouk, 'The Jackie Robinson Of Jewish-American Fiction I've already added the next two books to my virtual stacks: First Flames: An Interview Between Debut Authors Hafsah Faizal and Nafiza Azad, Language Has Magic In 'The Candle And The Flame' Read an Excerpt from P. Djèlí Clark’s The Black God’s Drums, Award finalist for Hugo, Nebula, and Sturgeon. The Real Sherlock Holmes: The Story Behind Arthur Conan Doyle's Creation Michael Chabon’s Advice to Young Writers: Put Away Your Phone Author Birthdays May 19 Lorraine Vivian Hansberry Jodi Picoult Nora Ephron May 20 Honore de Balzac Sigrid Undset May 21 Dante Alighiere Alexander Pope May 22 Arthur Conan Doyle Peter Matthiessen Herge May 23 James Blish Scott O'Dell Margaret Wise Brown May 24 William Trevor Michael Chabon Joseph Brodsky May 25 Robert Ludlum John Gregory Dunne Ralph Waldo Emerson Have fun exploring and following rabbit trails What are you reading? Link to week twenty
  24. 6 points
    Yes, I am aware that others feel perfectly safe. That's perfectly fine for them. I am entitled to my opinion. Having just had an anti-Semitic shooting in my relatively Blue city two weeks ago, and given the current attacks on abortion rights, very few places feel safe to me anymore. You are entitled to feel defensive about my opinion.
  25. 6 points
    I don't understand how lying in bed for a year after being sick, followed by antisocial and self-destructive behavior, can possibly sound very simple to you. "Evil companions corrupt good morals," but I'd like to meet the neighborhood thug who can make a previously healthy boy lie abed and soak up god-knows-what on the internet for a year before acting out in a fairly terrifying way. This history makes me and almost* all the other people think, "This is obviously complex, and the family really needs some local, professional help, as they treat their situation as an absolute emergency. Maybe reconsider a traveling dad and holy days off and how to just keep going to the high school where he threatened people, at least through the acute part of this crisis." *The rest think that if he's given a GED and his story is whitewashed enough to fool a recruiter, the military could discipline this all right out of him.
  26. 6 points
    I used to hate AFSA because of the cleaning liquid they use. I always get lightheaded and sick. Now, thanks to Angi, we do the curbside grocery pickup. Glorious! No impulse buys and saves so much time. Last week my grocery budget was very short and I was able to absolutely ensure we had enough food for the week without going over. I need pants because of the extra shifts and will probably go there because my husband is super political and we boycot target now, even though they have tropical gummies. If I pass out I'll sue and buy the island.
  27. 6 points
    AFSA and Target are close to my house, but I don't like them much. We have to shop a bit here and a bit there to get everything on the list--Food Lion, Lowe's Foods (not the closest one, because it doesn't carry the same stuff!), Whole Foods, occasionally the locally-owned natural foods store or state farmers' market. I used to like Harris Teeter, but they're not good at gluten-free, and all the Kroger stores here closed. I'm not an entrepreneurial type, but sometimes I'm tempted to open a little grocery store just to have everything I want in one place! It seems ridiculous to drive past four grocery stores to get to the one that carries what I want.
  28. 6 points
    It is so sad though that we can't have a healthy vote and agree to disagree.
  29. 6 points
    As of 2002 less than 5% of those age 75 or older were still working. The number has been growing and and jumped after the 2008 economic debacle and is somewhere around 8-10% now. I would call that relatively rare.
  30. 6 points
    I don’t have any advice, but The Big Sick is a great movie that deals with this very issue. It’s the semi-autobiographical story of the co-writers who fell in love (and the guy stars in it too).
  31. 6 points
    I've no experience with this situation; however, this is what I might have done: During your son's semester at home (and potentially his summer), organize his schedule so that he can obtain at least four academic credits. I'd likely focus on English, math, science, and history (perhaps of the country or world region he'll be visiting). Enroll him in school in the foreign country for his semester abroad. On his transcript, label that semester as something (XX language immersion, for example). In your course description, state what he did. "Son engaged in a XX language immersion semester. He enrolled in School Name from date to date. Took the following classes: A, B, C, D, and E. [Give translations] Also participated in the following extra- curricular activities { }, attended the following performances { }, and visited the following historic sites { }. Documentation available upon request. Parent assigned grade of X. Parent assigned credit of Y." I'd likely assign one to two credits for the semester. Keep a folder with returned assignments and school grades/documents so that you can provide a sampling if requested. Regards, Kareni
  32. 6 points
    The other people will be parents and some younger kids. There will be barbeque sandwiches and burgers, but I'm not sure how many sides and desserts. Thank you so much for everyone's help! I will take 250,000 buns! Okay, 250.
  33. 6 points
    I seriously thought your thread was going to be about condoms. 😆
  34. 6 points
    Yael, you’re a good mom and a good person. Just breathe for a moment. You’ve been through a lot with your sister and now with your parents. And your son. And DH traveling. It’s not an excuse, it’s reality. I am overwhelmed reading the suggestions on this thread and truly hesitate to say anything. I don’t know what I’d do. I’d be terrified and overwhelmed and desperate. We lease know i will pray for your family. I will offer: please take care of you. If you are not already doing so, please find a therapist who can focus on you and support you. It’s not meant to be “one more thing” on your to do list, rather a support mechanism to enable you to continue to breathe thru and work thru down very difficult circumstances. You are a courageous mom to put this out there and ask for input. May God give you wisdom and strength ❤️
  35. 6 points
    I'm so sorry Yael. I have nothing but prayers to offer you. I hope you find help soon for your DS. I just wanted to comment on the suggestions to have troubled, potentially violent children enlist in the military. (Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, and that's not what's being suggested. I hope so.) I agree strict structure can be helpful for many kids, but really, do we honestly want psychologically troubled people who are already exhibiting worrisome behavior being given weapons training and then, perhaps, deployed? The military should NOT be used in place of appropriate mental health care. There are already enough issues within that organization.
  36. 5 points
    Just wanted to say that I didn't know whether to use the sad response or the THANK YOU! So you are being quoted. Thank you. There are those of us who are have clawed our way up to middle class (on paper), who know that our pensions, etc. are likely to be a house of cards, and we are using all the rest for health care as we go. (And that's with the "best" insurance available to commoners-not-Congress). I don't even know what to say to people who don't understand that a single medical event can wipe out a family's wealth for a generation in this country, and how those with children with special needs will likely never retire. In other words, I have nothing to say to people who can't read the news, because these scenarios of lost pensions and medical poverty are daily topics now, in this country.
  37. 5 points
    Some bookish posts ~ From the Word Wenches site: Ask A Wench - Men in Boots, and other favorite historical clothing! and The Little Matter of Chocolate Pots From An older post: It’s All in the Rigging: My Favorite Fantasy Boats by Fran Wilde 11 of Our Favorite Fantasy Pirates How Tea, History, and a Simulated Papal Election Inspired Lent by Jo Walton From Dear Author: Jennie’s Reading List for March and April Regards, Kareni
  38. 5 points
    Finishing my marathon reread of Nalini Singh's psychangling/trinity series with Ocean Light. The third book - Wolf Rain - will be released in June. Added The Candle and the Flame and Black God's Drums to my virtual stacks. Since I'm in the mood from something steampunk, will probably read Black God's Drums next. "In an alternate New Orleans caught in the tangle of the American Civil War, the wall-scaling girl named Creeper yearns to escape the streets for the air--in particular, by earning a spot on-board the airship Midnight Robber. Creeper plans to earn Captain Ann-Marie’s trust with information she discovers about a Haitian scientist and a mysterious weapon he calls The Black God’s Drums. But Creeper also has a secret herself: Oya, the African orisha of the wind and storms, speaks inside her head, and may have her own ulterior motivations. Soon, Creeper, Oya, and the crew of the Midnight Robber are pulled into a perilous mission aimed to stop the Black God’s Drums from being unleashed and wiping out the entirety of New Orleans."
  39. 5 points
    I was was thinking about this last night and have come back to it because I think I was too quick to dismiss your reply as not applicable because you aren’t, iirc, of the same religious group as is Yael. And yet when I thought more about it, the closest situation I can think of that I know of personally irl concerned and eastern orthodox family. One of the boys left the faith after having been previously intending to become a priest like his father. It was a very emotionally traumatic situation to have the apple of their eye reject their faith. And even without a clear religious mandate about shunning someone who has left the faith, or pretending that the child who left the faith is dead, there was still what from outside perspective seemed extreme reaction. Yael’s son, as described here sounds to many of us reading like he may be mentally ill, and has evoked a feeling of hatred from his mother. Why? Although many of us felt worried about her and the other children in the home being safe, it didn’t sound like she was worried about that herself. The school authorities are, apparently, not enough worried about him being a threat there to suspend him in or out of school. What’s really going on? He has wounded his mother’s soul, she wrote, because he has rejected her faith. He has dishonored his parents. Also he has embarrassed them by not being a good student and by doing things to the point of involving police. For some of us, me included, choosing a different faith or none doesn’t seem like a big deal. For others of us, it’s a huge thing, a sin or a violation of the Commandments or similar. It’s soul wounding to the parent, and perhaps a significant part of what might lead to a feeling of hate. It seems to have taken you 5 years to get to a place of loving your son despite his rejection of your faith. And still the relationship is probably not what it would have been if he hadn’t done that. I know for the family I know irl it has been over a decade and it isn’t the same as it would have been if the son had not left the faith, let alone if he had remained the apple of their eye and become a priest. Another side is that from the child POV it doesn’t seem like love. It seems like rejection. It seems like only very conditional love so long as they are fulfilling the parental desires. And emotionally that is a huge, huge thing to deal with if they have come to a place in themselves where the religious ideas they were raised with no longer make sense to them. This May be a serious mental illness, addiction, a brain tumor, many things that I and others have speculated about. Or other things we have not thought of. Or It may be a desparate cry from a child to be loved and accepted for himself, not for being a reflection of his parents.
  40. 5 points
    I woke up tired, but there will be caffeine shortly. Just got to boot the boy out of the kitchen so I can use it.
  41. 5 points
    Good morning! I have lots of grocery choices within 4 miles of my house - 4 Krogers (the closest), a 2 Publixes, Aldi, Sprouts, and 2 fruit/veg/flower stands. AFSA and Whole Foods are slightly further. Most of my shopping is done at Aldi. Kroger for other stuff, and Walmart when I need to stock up on toiletries, socks, and bandaids. Dd12 and I are playing for services today - I'm only playing first service so I can get home and change and then go play for a university graduation ceremony. Coffee!
  42. 5 points
    It's kinda difficult to sell houses nowadays. have your tried consulting to a realtor?
  43. 5 points
    I’ve said it here before, I live in a rural area full of Trump supporters who fly Confederate flags. My neighbor believes in every conspiracy on infowars. Those types I refuse to engage with, as I see that extreme to be dangerous. The rest are just people I speak to without any thought of politics. At this point in my life, I know who not to waste my words on. Except here, occasionally.
  44. 5 points
    More and more I don't share my political views with people, at least not unless it seems really appropriate or it's within a trusting, respectful relationship. Politics are just so darn divisive these days, and the thing is, you might actually find you have much more in common with someone than not, and then suddenly if you realize you hold different political views it can shoot down anything you thought you had in common. Which is crazy, because often those political differences aren't even as big as you think they are when it comes down to it. Of course sometimes they are, but if both people are decent people, you learn to compartmentalize those differences instead of painting each other with a broad brush. Once my dh and I were involved in a community project and we needed to get our district's representative on board. He was of the opposite party as us, but my dh and I, believing this was a project both parties supported and would gain from, chose not to divulge our political affiliation with him. We became pretty good friends with him over time. He was really shocked when it came out that we were affiliated with the other party. Well, at first he was shocked, then completely baffled, and then he thought it was just really funny. We don't agree on everything for sure, but we do agree on a lot of things and enjoy and respect it each other. I have a feeling that if we had started out by announcing our political party with him we would never have made it to that point. This is all to say that when you leave politics out at first and just work at being a good neighbor and focus on the things that you do have in common, it sets a level of trust and respect that hopefully will be stronger than any political differences. Of course sometimes it doesn't, but it's always worth hoping for. We live in a purple area too, but the majority of our friends in a particular circle are of the opposite party as us. They've learned over time that we generally support the other party. They think we're wrong of course -haha. But it hasn't really affected our friendships within that circle too much and we've always felt accepted and respected. They've rallied together to help us in family emergencies and we, them. We're there for each other despite a difference in political leanings.
  45. 5 points
    Return home from my folks' house. Catch up on social media, news, emails. Go to sleep. Get the kids up to take showers and wash hair. Church - there is a breakfast and then my kids have to be acolytes. Kids - lots of homework and test study. Me - lots of client work. Laundry. Whatever else gets done.
  46. 5 points
    I live in an area that is very one-sided politically and not my "side" of the spectrum. I stay quiet, and no one outside of my family knows my thoughts on politics. Honestly, I feel as though even my job would become a very different place if they knew how I stood on politics.
  47. 5 points
    My friend currently lives in an area that is predominantly opposite most of her views. She told me during the last election cycle that she pretty much remains quiet. Since the art of agreeing to disagree is fading fast, people get very rude when they encounter someone who has different views so she doesn't say much. We used to live in the same area but moved away many years ago and I don't think it was quite as polarized back then - or people still realized that it's okay when others do not agree with everything they think is right, good, holy, etc. It's really sad because many good discussions are not happening because of people just not wanting to get into it with others. I have observed a similar trend on this board. I feel we used to discuss more and be less rude and divisive.
  48. 4 points
    Good afternoon! We've been to church and a picnic, returned my mom's car and had a snack. Dinner is sandwiches or frozen pizza, so no work for me. To do: Think about this week's schedule Find a rub or marinade recipe for flank steak. Put chx thighs into teriyaki marinade. Read and relax. Listening to the rain is restful.
  49. 4 points
    If it is expected that matchmaking would occur when the time comes, the parents may not ask. My Korean ex-colleagues won’t ask about relationships, they were asked if they earn enough to support a wife. I know a few who were matchmade as they show us photos from the matchmaking meetings while we were taking coffee break in the office.
  50. 4 points
    Now to Nana's house to replenish her supply of CheezIt Snaps...
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