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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/07/2019 in all areas

  1. 101 points
    UPDATE: Greta has beat the odds and has had some reduction in the size of her tumors. She had her husband have had a wonderful second honeymoon to the most romantic of cities—Paris—and have found the way to love one another and life while squarely facing this serious illness. She’s connected at her parish with frequent gatherings, and, of course, connected with her medical community with frequent meetings. Greta calls herself most blessed to have this time with her husband, daughter, family and friends. Recently, she has developed really loud tinnitus, so she has joined me in the hearing-aid-brigade, which lets her play white noise into her ears that at least distracts from the tinnitus. And podcasts too. :0) It's not curative but it does help. Going into this diagnosis, 9 months ago, the "expectancy" was stated as 12 months. Without raising her hopes or projecting doom, her doctor told her that she is healthier now than she was 12 months ago, and recent tests revealed "nothing new." (That's called "good news" in this milieu.) Please keep praying for her. She is going to try to read the posts here, so if you want to chime in, feel free. (Just between us chickens, Greta has found and displayed amazing grace in a most unexpected place and experience. We should be so happy to call her one of "ours." )
  2. 59 points
    It's been a long haul, with two extended periods of absence-on-leave due to illness. He will graduate in three weeks. He is job searching - he has found one part-time gig already and has been invited to interview for a full-time position. Onwards and upwards. Very relieved.
  3. 57 points
    Today was the first day of recitation for Intro Chem which is a required class. The instructor started pretty basic, and the kids behind ds in the class were making somewhat-loud, rude comments about the class being useless, and why did they bother to show up, etc. After class, two of them went up to the instructor and said to him "next time, why don't you just tell anyone who knows anything about chemistry to leave. This class just wasted my time. etc" He said it went on for at least a minute or two. DS waited for the kids to leave the class and went up to the instructor and said "Thanks so much for teaching this recitation. Looks like you have a pretty tough crowd here, but I appreciate you being here." The instructor then asks his name and they get to talking. DS has been working in a chemistry lab this summer and apparently they have been doing the same type of research in materials science and really hit it off. DS came home and called me to say not just how he couldn't believe how rude the kids were, but that he felt good about making the effort to fix it.
  4. 46 points
    funny story. DS17 took the ACT and got a great score. You can tell he is different from me because 17 yo me would have said 'woo-hoo I'm done w/ standardized testing for college entrance forever'. DS though 'well...it's good, but what if some college likes the SAT better so I should ALSO take the SAT.' Wishing to avoid hearing him be all stressed out for the next month while he preps for this exam I don't think he needs, I suggested he call the admissions board of a few colleges he's interested in and just ask them. So he did. Discission w/ CMU's admission person went something like: DS17: Hello. I'm very interested in attending CMU. I'll be applying this fall. I just took the ACT and got a 35, but I was wondering if you have a preference for SAT over ACT so maybe I should take that too. CMU Admissions: that's a very good score. congratulations. No, then don't care. Wait....what department are you interested in? DS17: Econ CMU Admissions: nope, they don't care. DS17: and Musical Theater. CMU Admissions: <pause> oh honey. They SO DON'T care. <snicker> He was honestly pretty insulted. 😛
  5. 45 points
    The wedding went very well. Since they hadn't thought about ushers or seating parents, dh and I started out the wedding procession by walking down the aisle and seating ourselves in the front and the oldest brother was grabbed to escort the bride's mother to her seat. My son asked the photographer to get a photo with all of our family including dh and I, grandparents, and all the siblings and their SO. It was interesting because my son and his new wife spent much of the evening having a good time hanging out with his brothers (instead of his groomsmen) and he even danced with his little sister. Overall, it was a very nice evening.
  6. 45 points
    Back in 2017, I asked for help naming our boy Max. Unfortunately, we lost him suddenly this February to acute hemolytic anemia. I was devastated...he was my shadow. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned to dh that I was finally to a point where it didn’t hurt to think of losing Max, and occasionally I would glance at the shelter sites. Wednesday I saw this guy, and I fell in love. I showed dh, and it was the same. We brought him home Wednesday evening, and he’s made things interesting since. 😆 Meet Jukka...pronounced “you kuh”. Dh wanted a name that meant gift from God, and something about that name stood out. He’s a 9 week old Australian Shepherd.
  7. 36 points
    I've known for a while that my ability to read what I type is going really downhill - IOW, my brain will still read a sentence how I meant it to come out even if what I actually typed is completely wrong, especially if I read it again while the information is still fresh in my brain. Anyways, I went back and re-read a final report I wrote for a class (because I'm stalking the website for my final grade). For context, this document is going to be shared with every professor in the department because it's dictating my projects from now until I graduate. I meant to say Large Hadron Collider (the particle accelerator)....but what I wrote was Large Hardon...
  8. 34 points
    UPDATE: dd’s bf, who is like a son to us, got the fees reversed! He got an Affidavit and stood in dh’s place at the Show Cause hearing, and, though he reports the hearing did not go well and they rushed him and acted like they didn’t understand, nonetheless, they sent him a message that they were reversing the fees! I feel like this was an unlikely outcome and I am just electrified that it turned out so well!
  9. 34 points
    Well, I think the girls were right to speak up, and the counselor was wrong. Unless the girls did it in a mean way. The boy with autism probably didn't realize that he was crossing boundaries and making the girls feel uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable for him to keep doing it. Someone needed to tell him to knock it off, and it was within the rights of the girls to do it. I would want the girls and adults to tell my son with HFA to cut it out, if he were the one doing it. Instead of reprimanding the girls, the counselor should have worked with the boy to help him understand expected boundaries of behavior. There is often not a way to tell when someone has HFA, unless they reveal that themselves, so I don't think teaching them to look for signs of autism would prevent this kind of thing. Instead of talking about autism (though I realize it has been brought up in this situation), it may be more helpful to explain that some people have trouble understanding social boundaries. If they are in such a situation, again, and telling the guy to stop does not make it stop, the next step is to ask an adult for help.
  10. 31 points
    Is doing the thing you will not do a major sin--that is, in the unmarried couple living together example, is entering the house of an unmarried couple a major sin according to your beliefs? Not is living together unmarried major sin. This matters. Jesus did not himself commit sins, but he also did not hesitate to enter the homes of sinners or eat with sinners. He was not sullied by relationships with imperfect people, nor was he concerned that by interacting with them he was condoning their sins.
  11. 31 points
    Am I the only one who remembers being a teen and lying to my parents, and it not being because I was on the fast track to Hell? I was a really good kid, good grades, no drugs, tried alcohol once in high school, etc etc, and I still lied to my parents. Heck, even on Leave it to Beaver, with the "perfect family", the kids lied and deceived their parents. And I'm pretty sure ALL kids break house rules at some point. So not freak out worthy to me. Just a normal teen parenting issue. I also wouldn't sit around waiting for her to come to me, that feels like playing games, not like direct, healthy communication that I want to model.
  12. 29 points
    I am so excited I am shaking. Some of you may remember I have been working on Ancestry . com to find my former MIL's birth family. She was adopted in 1930 and did not have a birth certificate. Through DNA and a lot of detective work and a lot of help along the way from helpful relatives we have been able to positively identify both her birth mother and birth father. She has 3 living half siblings on her birth father side. Neither mother or father or any of their family are people my MIL has ever heard of. In 1930 when she was born the birth family lived in TX about 90 miles away from where my MIL was raised up in LA. It was a long journey. I have been working on it for almost a year. I just can't believe it.
  13. 29 points
    DD14’s talk on “Online instruction of Herpetology for gifted students”, about her classes at Athena’s Academy, has been accepted to the 2020 World Congress of Herpetology. This is her first major conference acceptance, and it’s for WORLDS! Thanks to all the parents here who have let their kids take her Herpetology classes the last few years, and who have given permission to let her share your kids’ work, survey responses, and your responses. (And there are still seats available in this fall’s class :))
  14. 29 points
    Over the last few weeks, as my DD10's GS troop has gone back to (B&M) school, as we have engaged in the community a bit, I have been experiencing feelings lol. In our previous location, I knew we were there temporarily and much of the stuff we did regarding kids activities and social engagements was done with full knowledge that all that stuff was temporary. We intend to stay here permanently and are therefore engaging with the community more. And I am realizing how different we are. Mostly, I don't care about differences. I know what my goals are regarding parenting and education of my kids and I am ok with going against the norm. But, because we were.............not isolated, but isolated? from most folks not family, plus so much else going on like dealing with family estates from afar, long distance home owner crisis stuff, etc....I guess I didn't realize just how different our philosophies regarding parenting and education of my kids really is from so many others. So, being back................in society (for lack of a better phrase..........I really felt pretty isolated being in the rural/semi rural location we were) has shown me a lot and made me question myself. This weekend, I was out of town, and visiting family I don't see often. So, not the closer family we are usually working to maintain relationships with but cousins and great grandparents and second cousins etc. People who know me but don't know all of the struggles we have like the ASD diagnosis and such were telling me how awesome my kids were. Public school teachers were telling me how impressed they were with my kids. Random people who are like cousin's fiance's sister's kid were telling me that they loved talking to my kids. And then, family who I know better, some of whom have had struggles with their own kids, actually said things like "I wish I had done that." And THEN, when some of these same people are reminded that I have an older kid who is 23 and doing ok......really, I won't lie, I was feeling some love. I know full well that there is a measure of my kids success and behaviors and so on that really have nothing to do with me. But, this weekend,, after seeing so many things that are so different, that so many people recognized that the children who are at least in part products of the parenting decisions I have made, really are great people.............yeah, I am feeling a bit validated. Maybe, just maybe, I really am doing the right things for us.
  15. 29 points
    because I request that they NOT open a package of something perishable when there is already an open one. Like shredded cheese or sandwich meat. OK...I admit there are days when the request is LOUD. Every person that lives or has ever lived in my house is pretty smart. But they don’t see an issue with three open bags of sharp cheddar cheese. They definitely don’t understand that I would appreciate them using up the medium cheddar before opening a mild cheddar. That is absolutely unreasonable. I actually have to limit the variety of cheese available. If something in there says “Mexican” there is no way they will use cheddar on their taco. So purchasing both mozzarella and pizza cheese is just asking for it. I have a system to help them out even. Once something is opened it goes in the deli drawer. Look there first! Then open another package if there isn’t one. This problem is only getting worse as people fly the nest because now it takes alot longer to use up those open packages and they go bad. If only one person is a cheddar fan, multiple open bags won’t get used up. I have let go of an awful lot of things over the years but I’m never going to get over having three open packages of sliced turkey. (Related rant...once you open the sliced turkey that is a commitment! It has to be eaten before it goes bad. So don’t open it for a slice and not make a sandwich again. You open that package it is a commitment!!)
  16. 28 points
    We have a local farm that I am quite positive has a number of illegal immigrants working on it. I’ve been there with the ambulance and when we show up with red lights flashing, people start running into the woods. Instead of arresting them, I’d rather see the owners and managers of the farm arrested. I’ve been inside the “housing” they provide and it’s incredibly overcrowded—14 or 15 people in a single wide, one bathroom trailer. I’m sure they aren’t paying legal wages either. Of course they aren’t offering benefits either, but since these are illegal immigrants none of the workers are going to complain. My personal opinion is to arrest the hiring managers and anyone else facilitating the hiring or poor conditions. Then find a way to offer a path to legal immigration or citizenship, pending a background check. But I don’t run the world.
  17. 27 points
    Honestly, it's both. Talent and practice. The higher the achievement level, the more of both is required. A person with mediocre natural talent in an area can put in a hours and hours of practice and be better than a person with tons of natural talent who doesn't do the practice. They won't, however, equal the achievement of a person with tons of natural talent who puts in the same number of hours of practice. 90+% of gymnasts who put just as much time and effort into practice as Simone Biles are NOT going to achieve at her level. And of course no one who puts in only one hour of practice for every ten she puts in is going to come close. And the ability to engage in all that practice is mediated by other things such as natural executive function skills, general mental health, support, opportunities, etc. There's a fair bit of research into human psychology that demonstrates that we are all of us inclined to ascribe our own achievements to personal effort and our failures to circumstance, while simultaneously ascribing the achievements of others more to circumstance/luck and their shortcomings to lack of effort or other things we think of as being under their control. That darn bias in our judgment plays right into a tendency to be jealous of people who achieve and equally contemptuous of those who don't. The tendency to view people who achieve as somehow morally superior is particularly problematic in my mind; we simply don't have the capacity to make such judgments. And so often those who are failing to achieve are not only not receiving society's accolades, they are being actively heaped with contempt. The child with autism who has a meltdown in the grocery store and that child's parent both receive social condemnation. The child with ADHD is labeled by adults and peers as lazy and not trying and disruptive. The kid with the IQ of 80 who in spite of a crazy amount of work doesn't do as well on the SAT as the kid with an IQ of 120 gets their score back only to learn they are in the bottom 20%. The kid with a speech impediment is viewed as dumb. I don't have a solution to the various challenges surrounding this issue. Parents should be able to publicly rejoice in their own children's achievements. I think parents of high achieving kids can also remain aware that hearing of such achievements is going to be profoundly painful to some other parents. And that jealousy is also a normal human reaction and mental biases work both ways.
  18. 26 points
    Yesterday I finished piecing the quilt on the left- it was a year long Block of the Month program and it took me a bajillion hours to piece it. It’s for the guest room our grands will sleep in when they visit. I’ll quilt it on my sister’s long arm machine. Usually she does it for me but I have moved close enough that I can visit and learn to do it myself. The shoes will be painted to be my game day shoes. I put the gesso on the canvas today and roughed in the drawing/lettering. Luckily the opening game is an away game so I have more than a week to finish them. I’m not a painter at all- I have no drawing or painting talent. But thought it would be fun to try something new. Can’t wait to hear about projects everyone is working on. I’d love to try some new crafts!
  19. 25 points
    It’s a California thing. I would totally ignore it unless you plan on grinding it up and eating or breathing it. They have put labels on literally almost everything, including coffee, to where it is now a meaningless warning. It’s honestly ridiculous.
  20. 24 points
    Rejoice or head scratch with me. I think I’ve figured out why non-home-educating SAHMs get made fun of for sitting around watching Netflix and eating bonbons. This is so easy!!! So background - my oldest four just went up to Alaska last night to hang with the grandparents for a few weeks, so I only have the two little boys. That’s score one of ‘life is so easy again’. Two special needs little guys is just not that hard. Score two? Older little guy is my only non homeschool person and just hopped on the bus for his morning preschool program. Baby is still sleeping. NOW THAT PRESCHOOLER IS GONE I HAVE SO MUCH SPARE TIME?! Like, on a normal day I’m rushing my older kids to finish eating and do their cleanup chore so we can start cramming on school. I spend the entire preschooler’s time gone working with the third and first grader and trying to not ignore the toddler (who is usually playing and watching cartoons). Then as soon as the preschooler comes home the youngest four are done-ish and watching movies while I finish up with the older girls and make food. Then usually I’m rushing off to therapy anywhere from 3-4 days a week, plus IE here at home and such. So I don’t have time to relax, let alone do actual chores, until about 6:30 each night. Which ain’t happening most days, if I’m honest. Just the basics to keep things functional. Less kids and not homeschooling is such a CAKEWALK?! How did I not know this? Like, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything but it feels remarkably sedate and relaxed and not scheduled right now, even with therapy and little kid needs still in place. This is just laughably chill. I feel like I’ve been missing out on all the benefits of being a SAHM by homeschooling 🤣 Like, I’m not really a SAHM so much as an educator who works at home. Because this is such a vacation it’s not even funny. Not in the same universe of comparable. I totally get the allure of shoving the kids in school now. I’m never usually without students, so this is honestly a novel experience. Wow. End joyous braindump. I big puffy heart love my vacation from all the hard of many kids and many grades 🥳
  21. 24 points
    Do you know her? Is she from a city and has had very limited access or knowledge to small town life? Why would you ignore her questions? Maybe she doesn’t have a lot of people in her life who have been married for very long or who stay married. Maybe she was genuinely curious and didn’t realize her questions were inappropriate. Maybe she’s from a culture where openness is the norm, even if it’s a family culture and not societal. Maybe she just hasn’t been taught better. Maybe she isn’t neurotypical. My point is that you don’t know. I think, honestly, you were rude to a stranger and your niece’s friend. And I dare say most children don’t go from small adults to big adults as yours did.
  22. 23 points
    I hate to be so paranoid, but I have watched a lot of situations like this play out on these boards, and I'm hearing warning sirens loud and clear. And what they are tooting is 'Divorce Planning'. The pattern is, husband starts by trying to convince wife that she is mutually to blame for their marital problems, even though they are mostly in his head and/or/likely he is seeing someone else on the side. Then he gets her to agree to send the kids back to school. Then he gets her to get a job. THEN he blindsides her with a divorce filing after having established a 'norm' of the kids being in school and her being employed, that significantly reduces his financial obligations once they are through. I would like to emphasize--this is not something that I think you should discuss with him. But I do think you should quietly investigate it on your own. Make sure you have copies of your family's financial records, preferably in a location outside of the home that is not known to him. This means credit card/bank/mortgage/investment/retirement accounts statements, tax returns, and anything else that establishes what you own and what you owe. Also, maybe even talk with a lawyer about the laws in your state. Sorry to be so downer about this, but I'm seeing some sadly familiar red flags.
  23. 23 points
    It seems to me that a Royal sitting in a box at Wimbledon and not wanting to be photographed is far different from someone being hounded in a moving vehicle. Permit me to think that is crass of you to equate the two.
  24. 23 points
    In this case, Garga, I think that saying over and over again that they wanted their kids to move out, couldn't wait for them to leave is the symptom of the dysfunction, not the cause. It's not so much that they said it, it's that they meant it. Even if they hadn't said it, the kids would've known
  25. 23 points
    He seems a classic narcissistic p. d. Time for some CBT for you. Repeat after me: "I am safe. I have built a successful new life that I am enjoying. He cannot hurt me any longer." Wishing you well for your day in court.
  26. 23 points
    I truly think military service needs to be far down the list of options, if it even makes the list at all. There are too many red flags out for me to believe that military service is a good option in the near future. This young man needs psychiatric assessment and help and basic training is not an appropriate place for such a person. I know people think that a life in the military has the potential to “turn a life around,” and I’m sure there are situations where that is true. However, keep in mind that military training & service is emotionally and physically taxing for the healthiest of people. It very well could cause someone a lot of problems if they do not go into it from a position of physical and mental health & stability. Additionally, the purpose of the military is to protect our nation, not to act as a therapeutic environment for troubled youth. They simply are not equipped to do that.
  27. 22 points
    Yeah, that happened here too. Eldest told me that she didn't remember anything we did during our 9 years of homeschooling. Me: Really? You don't remember raising silkworms from eggs, or building a pyramid out of little mud bricks that we made from the dirt and grass in the backyard, or the human body we built piece by piece as we studied the systems, or all the hours we spent reading aloud, or any of that? Her: No. I don't remember anything from that time. Me, to myself: Ouch. Well, that was 9 years wasted. I could have been working all that time. I'd be making six figures by now. We'd be rich and I'd have a fulfilling career. Fast forward a few years, and now she's having happy little memory flashes. "Remember when we made little bricks and built a pyramid with a little mummy inside?" Me: Yes. I remember... (sigh)
  28. 22 points
    As someone who has run camps for kids with disabilities, I think you should message the camp director. I'd want to know if a parent is worried, either because parent instincts are good and it would cause me to look closely and maybe see something I missed, or because I could easily reassure you. I have plenty of experience with "that mom", and this would not come close. I would welcome that message.
  29. 22 points
    May is ALS Awareness month. Doing my part. 😉 https://youtu.be/7oqdAzRjpjM
  30. 22 points
    Please, please do not encourage him to try to enlist. Basic training is psychologically difficult for a stable person, never mind someone with the symptoms your DS is exhibiting. The military can teach a lazy person how to have more self-discipline, but it CANNOT cure or treat mental illness. I don't know why so many people think it can do that. When I was in basic training, one of the guys I was training with snapped and attacked a drill sergeant. Thank god it happened in the first phase and not when we were doing rifle training. During AIT they had a special mattress near the main stairwell where they could keep an eye on the soldiers who were suicidal. There was at least one every day. Your son needs to work with mental health professionals. Drill sergeants are not mental health professionals. ETA: I should clarify that I'm bringing up the mattress thing not to tell you that they have a lot of experience dealing with mental illness, but to say LOOK HOW WELL THEY DON'T HANDLE IT. Suicidal? Spend the night on the special suicide mattress where a couple of exhausted teenagers on fire watch can make sure you don't kill yourself when they aren't mopping. It's horrifying.
  31. 21 points
    I would, quite frankly, get a new phone and phone number. Change her email address and only add contacts she wants. Make abundantly clear to everyone in her circle that she is NOT to be tagged in any photos they post or have her activities or whereabouts discussed with this young man or posted online. Ensure the location settings are NOT turned on with her phone, including (sadly) find my iPhone and "Find Friends".
  32. 21 points
    I find it really odd, on a homeschooling board with lots of very high-achieving kids who get into top schools, that the idea of homeschooling a really smart, talented student who desperately wants to be homeschooled would be seen as a last resort — only acceptable if she can't be medically/psychologically "patched up" enough to tolerate being dumped back into the extremely competitive, pressure-cooker environment that destroyed her love of learning and sucked all the joy out of her life. That sends the message that following her instincts, choosing the environment she feels is best for her, is a sign of weakness, a failure, evidence that she's just not good enough to handle the "best" education. How is that not going to increase her anxiety and her feelings of failure and self-doubt and worries about the future??? Homeschooling is not something you "settle" for only if you're not good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, for a high-stress private school. For many students it is the best way to get the best possible education. No college is going to look at a really smart, talented kid who took control of her own education and can write about it in a passionate and articulate way, and think "oh no, we don't want a mature, self-motivated kid with national writing awards, we'll just take another one of those nearly-identical valedictorians with 14 APs and 3 club presidencies who founded a fake charity."
  33. 21 points
    Anyway you slice it, this is a ridiculous proposition to accept from someone who hasn't been married and has zero stats to back it up. I never understood the popularity of this (and it was WILDLY popular) when I graduated HS in northwest Arkansas. ETA: David French had really good piece on this today from a conservative perspective (https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/07/whither-evangelical-purity-culture-thoughts-on-the-legacy-of-a-lost-pastor/). The passage that stood out to me was: "This is what writer Katelyn Beaty called the “sexual prosperity gospel,” an “if/then” transactional relationship with God that manufactures a series of promises from scripture and then creates a form of Christian entitlement and expectation. “I did what you asked, Lord, now may I see my reward?” The supposition was that if/when these rewards fail to materialize, it can cause a total collapse of their faith.
  34. 20 points
    And we made an offer on a house. Waiting on written offers/contracts, but yes, I believe it is a done deal. Update: Ugh. Buyers are flaking out on me. They are trying to strong arm me for some closing costs. We said no. Now they are 'thinking about it'.
  35. 20 points
    You are wrong. https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a27813648/concentration-camps-southern-border-migrant-detention-facilities-trump/ https://www.jta.org/2018/06/20/politics/detention-facilities-concentration-camps-debate-names-invokes-nazis https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/editorial-dont-look-away-concentration-camps-border Note that by ICE's own admission, children are being held for days, weeks, even months, without trial and without legal representation, by the administration's own admission, the policy is being used to frighten people away from seeking asylum or refugee status. This is the very definition of a concentration camp. We had them for Japanese Americans during WWII, and the excuse was national security, and blah blah blah. Were they death camps? No. Did people die in them because of inhumane treatment and human rights violations? Yes. One does not have to be cyanide poisoning masses of people and cremating their remains to make it a concentration camp. Were they held indefinitely without legal representation and a speedy hearing? Oh for dang certain. Were they separated from their children? In many cases they were. Were the children provided for basic needs? No they were not. Thus the high disease rate among children. Is it acceptable because other nations have done it? I've heard that before. I consider it so morally repugnant as to make me physically nauseated. It isn't defensible. The end. Full stop. This behavior, these kinds of policies, always end up in nothing but hideous, human tragedy. 10% of Japanese Americans interred alone died from tuberculosis, that doesn't account for all the others who died from their internment. Just tuberculosis.
  36. 20 points
    This is my current foster. Her name is Mercy and she is a lab/border collie mix. I’m holding out for an agility or freestyle or other competitive home. At 4.5 months, she knows 16 commands, and is working with my dd on basic freestyle moves. So if any of you are looking for a new sport/ competition partner, and want to help a fellow boardie NOT become a foster failure twice in a row...
  37. 20 points
    Honestly, I've not personally encountered anything similar to this description. I don't know any atheists who think of life in terms of being driven by reproduction alone. I am driven by companionship, love, fellow feeling, fun, charity, human kindness. Therefore life as competition for the best mate just doesn't arise.
  38. 20 points
    Ok, they are floored. They have no idea what happened. There is plenty of money in that account. They will get it taken care of Mon. It must have been a bank error.
  39. 19 points
    Declining treatment doesn't mean declining comfort (palliative) care so it doesn't have to be agonizing. ((Hugs))
  40. 19 points
    It’s freak out worthy, because all those things you mention, cruising the four corners of the internet, Snapchat with friends etc are precisely why people don’t let kids take phones to their rooms at night. It’s bad news. There’s nothing she can do with service that she can’t do without it.
  41. 19 points
    I'm so sorry Yael. I have nothing but prayers to offer you. I hope you find help soon for your DS. I just wanted to comment on the suggestions to have troubled, potentially violent children enlist in the military. (Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, and that's not what's being suggested. I hope so.) I agree strict structure can be helpful for many kids, but really, do we honestly want psychologically troubled people who are already exhibiting worrisome behavior being given weapons training and then, perhaps, deployed? The military should NOT be used in place of appropriate mental health care. There are already enough issues within that organization.
  42. 19 points
    I home schooled my children from the beginning, all the way through high school. I always hated school as a child, and I think, at least initially when my kids were young, that's what led me to home school. I just wasn't ready to put them in that environment all day. We moved to a rural area while they were still young, and that pretty much solidified the "we will always home school" position. The schools out here were less than stellar, and private school would've cost a f/t job and then some for the 4 of them. Let me just say that none of mine have particularly set the world on fire in the eyes of some (or maybe many), but we have fairly traditional values in the sense that I've always encouraged them to stay home while their kids were young (I just personally think that is important), and, though some may not think it's a big deal, I am extremely proud of the girls as mothers who are now home schooling their own children. The jury is still out for my son, but I'm still hoping/praying he'll grow up. 😜 My oldest finished through 12th grade at home, graduated with our large home school group, and then went on to college. She went for a year, and did okay, but wound up leaving the 4-yr college, and going through a medical assistant program. She was pretty seriously dating her now husband, and they knew once they had children she was going to stay home, so she never really pursued anything beyond her MA certification. She is now a mom of 3, home schooling, and doing very well. My second oldest was planning on going straight to Cosmetology school. She got married and moved to Hawaii (husband in military), and planned to attend a school there. She found out she was pregnant a few months later, and decided to wait on that. FF to now - she has 3 kids, and is home schooling. My third went to the CC her senior year - dual enrollment. She then became a dental assistant and worked full-time. She also has a little business building and refinishing furniture. She moved to WA state with her fiancé, got pregnant not too long after that, and now has a baby. They live in GA, and she works from home - scheduling school visits for her old best friend (who takes exotic animals to schools). She does quite well financially, especially considering it's a job she can do from home while still taking care of her little one. The goal is for her to, at some point, take over this business and her friend move on to something else. My son went to CC his junior and senior year - dual enrollment - and did quite well. He just really hasn't ever figured out what he wants to do, so right now, at 23, he is waiting tables, bartending, and just enjoying working in the service industry. I think he could do just about anything - he's very smart - but he loves the social aspect and lifestyle that comes with this right now. I'm hoping if he meets that right person at some point, it'll motivate him to make some concrete decisions about his future. I will never regret my decision to home school my kids. I'm sure we could've done some things differently over the years (and if we would've had the financial means back then, I'm sure we would've been able to do more), but I've never been sorry they were at home (and neither have they). They are super social, well-adjusted, normal adults that are making differences, each in their own way. For that I am thankful. **Oops - forgot to add what we did. I didn't follow TWTM strictly; we always did a variety of stuff. In high school, I was definitely a bit more textbook-ish than I had been in the younger years. We did Tapestry of Grace for a couple years at one point when some were in HS, and some still in middle. We typically did math programs on video - couple different ones - and we did co-ops for some subjects (sciences/writing).
  43. 18 points
    I don't know how I would actually handle it but I would probably feel bristly and defensive. But, it might be best to keep it light while also standing up for your dd . I can envision something like, "Now, now, let's keep it positive! Remember, she's my daughter!" smile smile with very slight side eye. Or you could pull him aside and be sincere and tell him you know he'd never in a million years seek to hurt either you or your daughter, but it does indeed sting when he is saying those things. Don't apologize for being "sensitive" or anything, just tell him how you feel, as if he surely must not realize how he is being hurtful. This gives him room to apologize and be more aware. Even if he is being a little jerky.
  44. 18 points
    I don't think it's reasonable to be annoyed that she got a job for Fridays. You weren't/aren't paying her for Fridays, so there should not have been any expectation she'd keep them open for you.
  45. 18 points
    At least she is going to jail. Everyone seemed pretty sure that she was going to escape that- pleading guilty, being contrite, etc. All of these entitled criminals are contrite that they were caught. Personally, I think her community service should be getting trained as a Barton or OG tutor and providing dsylexia tutoring for poor kids for free for the rest of her life. These people hit our family right where we live: dd2 is an athlete with dyslexia and slow processing disorder. I am still enraged by their attempts to downplay their actions and their pleading that they are sorry.
  46. 18 points
    I swear, this is my number one complaint about people posting classes and events on homeschool lists. Like, I'm on some lists for an entire state and others for the neighboring county that takes well over an hour to drive from one end to the other. And yet probably half of the "come check out our co-op" and "I'm offering this class/group" posts do not give any clue as to where it takes place. And for a large portion of those, clicking on the website link doesn't say either. Like, why do you make an entire page for your class/group/co-op and never once give an address. Or, if it's your personal address and you don't want to post it, at least give what town you're in? Your general area? Ugh.
  47. 18 points
    I think the problem is marketing / politicizing, both of which rarely lead to optimizing. Am I the only person who remembers when all grocery bags were paper, and everyone started worrying about the trees?
  48. 18 points
    I stumbled upon them reading War and Peace to each other and felt like such a superior mom. Then, I stumbled upon them about to stick the vacuum against the youngest's ear in order to suck the water out 🙄 Did I point out that they're in college?
  49. 18 points
    My father decided to stop treatment after the third (experimental) cancer treatment line stopped working. He decided to spend his last months doing what he wanted to do - reading, walking a bit, eating what good food he could, enjoying a glass of wine. He didn't want to spend his last months in and out of hospital, grasping at straws. He hadn't given up, he had made a choice about how he wanted to spend his life. I second reading Being Mortal as soon as you can.
  50. 18 points
    I have 3 homeschool graduates. What led you to homeschool? Two things led us to homeschool. One was a wonderful example of a family we met while my dh was in law school. She gave me all sorts of excellent things to read and showed by example how fun it could be. The other was that my oldest learned to read very early and the only school that would take him in K (6 weeks before he turned 5), we couldn't afford. So we started homeschooling. How was your child homeschooled? I used the WTM as a guide (was a lurker on the board in the old days) and added in some relaxed things, nature things, and lots of reading. When high school rolled around, my oldest elected to stay home. We did classes we designed together, science that was cobbled together from different materials, a couple of AP classes-that he hated, and a couple of cc classes. No online classes. No co-op. The first standardized test he took (our state has an evaluation option) was the PSAT. That set the stage for the next two who chose homeschool for high school as well. Both of them did more cc classes- but never more than 2 a semester. What did your child do after graduating? What are they doing now? my ds1 graduated from college last spring. He struggled with some major health issues and had to work extremely hard to get through in four years. He graduated with departmental honors. This year has been sort of a rest and recovery year for him. He is living with his gf, working at an Italian/pizza place, playing in a band, reading a ton of books, and just making his bills. He is starting to think more clearly about the next few years- but he is still young and honestly, there is plenty of time. He is happy and healthy and that is enough for me. my dd1 attended college (DI) on a swimming scholarship. She is graduating this month having gone through school in three years- working year round- her motto was "If I have to be here to train, I might as well take a class with my scholarship." She struggled with injury (knee) for a couple of years, but she has no regrets about her dedication to swimming during her teen years. And no regrets about the shift in dedication to academics in college. She is headed to a top ten law school next fall. Ds2 graduated from homeschool last spring. He is a quirky kid with dysgraphia. It was a struggle and a worry getting him to be college ready. He is attending a small Catholic liberal arts college and is about to finish up his first year. They have excellent supports for kids with LDs and he has been happy there. Grades are decent- so far so good. He is a liberal arts guy- planning a double major in history and philosophy. My next kid is a junior in ps high school and then my youngest will graduate from homeschool. I do not regret homeschooling my kids at all. It was hard and at times, unrewarding and scary, but worth it. I believe that homeschooling made me a better, calmer, more accepting and loving parent than I would have been otherwise.
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