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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/21/2019 in all areas

  1. 12 points
    Just me, but I would say that the time of the original offer expired at the end of the holidays. You granted grace into January. Now he just needs to learn a hard life lesson of being responsible and taking the van to the shop so that it gets done RIGHT and gets done NOW (in a timely fashion). I can't imagine that anything but frustration on all sides will result in allowing him to drag this on and on for potentially weeks in trying to make repairs himself. He had his window to repair it himself; he chose not to. Now it is time for the natural consequences of that choice. I would express all of that lovingly, calmly, but clearly/firmly, and then you can all move on. Again, JMO.
  2. 11 points
    Most of this is in response to MedicMom: We don't watch our kids' checking accounts. They are linked to ours as they are student accounts yet they (3 of them) know that we aren't looking to see where they are spending/earning money. I checked my dd's once because she was at work and there were high charges being made at the mall w/her card. And I only saw my ds's enormous deposit because I had gone on-line to look at my own account and saw that his balance was no longer in the $6 range (he really has no money). Given the van issue it was our first thought that he had somehow made a claim and received money - money which was out of his account the next morning. We were seriously confused and asked our ds via email if the claim he had made was done legally, which he assured us it was. That was all the information we received from him and it was in the context of emails about repairs for our van. So yes, we assumed that the funds in/out of his account were connected with the current van issue. His accident was completely unknown to us. We knew it couldn't be loan money or anything else (he has not graduated high school...was slated to do so in May but now that is off the table). As far as him not telling us about the accident, we, too, have not shared many things with our parents so that isn't the issue so much as our ds's heart/attitude at this point. For those who have young adult/older teens like this, you know what I'm talking about and what we are going through with him. As far as protecting the relationship vs. straining/damaging it...I grew up watching my mom get verbally abused by my brother. He could say/do anything and she would take it because she didn't want to "lose" him. It was disgusting. She enabled him, he was horrible to all of us, and we hated him. That is my son. He thrives on conflict and hurting others. We have shown him more than his share of grace and had told him to shape up or get out. He didn't take us seriously, so the decision was made for him to get out. He's also one of those who likes to throw around that he is 18 (as if that is some magical age) when it suits his purpose yet then says we somehow owe him something (like paying a bill) because he's only 18. Nice try, kid. Back to the van issue...we told our ds that the van was going to a shop and he would pay. Our ds told us to use insurance, then suddenly he said he would be coming over this Sunday with his bil to try to fix the van. That is where things stood until the bank account/deposit thing happened. We're not trying to gouge our son out of money, but we want this van fixed and fixed correctly. Our intention isn't to be "hard" on our son but to be real. He wanted real it is.
  3. 9 points
    I'm still in the process of reading replies, but I'm not understanding something. Why did the insurance company pay your son for YOUR van? If I hit another vehicle, the insurance company isn't going to give me the money and tell me to give it to the other driver. I would think that if your son reported the accident, he would have been paid for his damage (assuming he has collision coverage) and the insurance company would have contacted you to arrange payment for your damages. Then you could have had your vehicle repaired. Something seems off.
  4. 6 points
    LOL what do they think their money is for?
  5. 6 points
    Crocs ...those ugly ones. They slip on and off easily and can be worn with socks or not. Ugly but effective.
  6. 6 points
    Apparently our ds took photos but I/we are still wondering the same as you. I swear I will take 8 teething babies or whiny toddlers over one young adult slogging through this time of life.
  7. 6 points
    I guess this is what bugs me about the general response on this thread. We are not obliged to accept help just because it's meant well. Like, if your neighbor said, hey, can I help with your lawn, and you said, no thanks, I'm on it. And then your neighbor cut your bushes, that would not be okay. That would be lawsuit level for some people. Or if your teen wanted to "help" with dinner after you asked them not to and you're on a budget and wasted $50 worth of food burning it, it would be okay to be upset with them. Or if a good friend asked if she could help with a personal issue you were having, and you said, no, it's private, but she then blabbed about it to all her other friends to crowdsource a solution for you, it would be okay to be angry. All those people meant well, but you don't have to accept the help in the spirit it was intended, because the end result was dead bushes, wasted food and money, and community embarrassment, and the people all overstepped when they disregarded your wishes. Yeah, a marriage is a little different and this isn't quite as bad as those. But at the same time, we're not obliged to place the intention of the act as paramount. It's okay to be upset about the effects of an act when it was poorly thought out. My kid didn't intend to break his computer last week... but his careless treatment still led to its demise and the fact that he wasn't purposefully bludgeoning it didn't mean I wasn't going to let him have to live with the consequences. Intention is not everything.
  8. 4 points
    school laundry put things on the calendar
  9. 4 points
    Good morning! Babysitting this morning, school with ds3, garden and driving for tennis are on the schedule today. coffee/paper emails, etc- get package ready for ds1 write ds3 up and ready for school leave for babysitting post office on the way back home to work in garden and chores ds3 to tennis more work ds3 pick up leftovers for dinner Have a great day!
  10. 4 points
    Good morning! Delayed coffee?!? :svengo: Godspeed, my friend. Sportsball! Coffee!
  11. 4 points
    he hasn't' shown himself to be dependable. life will teach him. in the meantime - I'd insist on a professional repair job. It's not the son-in-law's job to do the repair work, and probably have to get him moving to do the repair work. unless he has extensive experience, who knows what it would look like. I'd want a lot more information on the claims he submitted. insurance companies don't put out that kind of money for older cars unless they declare it totaled (and plan on taking possession) - and they will put that on the title as part of the contract for issuing the checks... I'd want - a LOT more information on those checks...
  12. 4 points
    OMgosh! I read this, had zero idea who Rachel Hollis was... went to amazon and searched her name. As soon as her face showed up, I gasped! I am legendary for HAVING to finish any book I start. It's a sickness. I started this book because it kept popping up on my "recommended' lists, and it was astonishingly awful! I thought I was the weird one, because she's obviously so popular, but it was offensively, eye-roll inducingly, awful. At some point, I realized that I didn't have to put myself through this nonsense and I stopped the audio book. It was the only book I didn't finish last year. I'm not alone! (and definitely not wanting to read anything else she's written - ever)
  13. 3 points
    Yeah, I hear you. I’m working on not yelling too. I’m not always completely successful either. What if we didn’t expect 100% success? What if it was okay (not horrible) that we are working hard to improve our approach? What if we expected to sometimes falter while we learn?
  14. 3 points
    I don't have time to read all the replies but I wanted to say, you can only take responsability for your actions, not for your circumstances. I don't know you but from what I have gathered you have never starved your children. You try to overcome dyslexia. You didn't neglect them but made sure they were clothed, fed, intellectually stimulated. You sacrificed for them. You are a good mom. They are individuals not robots. We don't get to just program them to do what society wants but despite all the frustration you do your best. You are a good mom. Everyday you get out of bed and you haven't run off to the Carribean yet. That definitly counts as a good mom. Though it wouldn't kill them for you to run away for a short period of time. 😉
  15. 3 points
    I used to be against providing a social safety net through public funding (taxes). I no longer am, in fact, I think it's a critical function of a culture/society/government. What I believed then: The Bible says the church is supposed to take care of "widows and orphans," not the government. It's their job, not the government's. What I believe now: The church isn't taking care of vulnerable people on a large scale, or even a small scale. They largely "take care of their own" and refer people with long term needs to public services, or better yet, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps (which isn't in the Bible). I also realized that the Bible does not forbid government's and NGO's from providing needed services to people. Then: Homeless people should go get jobs. Now: We need to address the root causes of homelessness and fix them. Housing is easy & relatively inexpensive when compared to other interventions, systemic change is not easy. Then: Government is over reaching and removing children from their homes unnecessarily - they are interfering in the private lives of individual citizens. Now: Thank God for social workers, foster families and other care providers who stand in the gap when parents are unable to provide a safe environment for their children. Then: If people want to go to doctor, they need to work and pay for it themselves, after all, that's what I do. I work, have insurance, get to the doctor when I need to. Now: We need to provide health care that isn't dependent upon someone's employment situation. Health insurance should be independent of employment. Lack of insurance is a huge barrier to accessing adequate care and that needs to be changed. Everyone should be able to access the care they need. That means the right care, in the right place at the right time at the right price. So, what happened - how did I come to such a profound change in my way of thinking. Several things really, but they all boil down to personal experiences. My oldest brother was addicted to alcohol & died as a direct result of that. He spent some time homeless, living in the woods. He could have come home to my parents at any time and he could have lived with my brother. His addiction led to a series of events, some were choices, some were events that inevitably happen when you can't access basic care and you lose your network of friends & family. Have you ever seen someone who is addicted to alcohol dying? It's downright shocking what happens to their bodies that is visible to the eye, much less what happens inside. I now have friends with disabilities and other friends who have children that have disabilities. The idea that someone who is profoundly disabled should go to work for health insurance is laughable. I have now known several people over the years that couldn't access mental health care - it was either not available where they lived, was too expensive, or had scheduling difficulties that but their need for health care in competition with their need to keep their job. I volunteer at a children's hospital. I have held and played with children who have been removed from their homes due to abuse. I've helped them as they are recovering from drug addiction, broken limbs, bruises, brain damage from being shaken, and even STDs. Another thing I have learned through work at the hospital is that there is a severe shortage of mental health beds in our state. Children & teens come into the hospital suffering from mental illnesses and they languish there way past the point they are medically stable as they wait for open beds. Some of them go home, only to come back at some point after they have attempted suicide. Some children are successful when they attempt suicide - I've seen that, too. Food is another thing - how could I possibly have thought that a person made in the image of God didn't deserve to have basic nutritional needs met? I can't even figure out if that was a conscious thing or if I just lumped it in with the whole "get a job" default mode I used to have. The more things I saw, the more I sought to learn. Instead of thinking the social worker was overreaching, I learned about the hoops they have to jump through when they remove a child. I learned about causes of homelessness - not just addiction, but job training needs, untreated mental illness, etc.. Most of all, I learned that everyone has a story and I am now willing to listen to those stories, learn from them and change my opinions and resulting actions based upon what I learn.
  16. 2 points
    I’m looking for general recommendations for a daily or weekly schedule/checklist/flow chart for optimal personal balance and growth. Something like: X minutes daily meditation/prayer, X hours of work, X minutes of productive leisure activity, X time of family time, X time social activities, X exercise minutes, X hours sleep, X time outside, X time chores, X time errands, X time finances, etc. A book, blog, or personal schedule would be beneficial. I’m finding imbalance in my life and I want to be more productive and have more personal growth but I do not want to overdo it. It’s easy for me to say I want to do finances this weekend but then spend all weekend doing errands, or miss exercising daily for weeks. I need to have a more realistic expectation of daily time needed to be productive and have growth. I also want to adapt something similar for the kids, so kid specific advice would be helpful. Thanks for any ideas! 🙂
  17. 2 points
    What is allowance for if not for the fun stuff? That's WHY I started giving my kids allowance is I wanted them to budget their fun more carefully instead of always coming to me begging for money.
  18. 2 points
    Wants comes out of my kid’s own piggy bank. We pay for family entertainment trips (like a laser tag outing) and for outsourced class fun field trips.
  19. 2 points
    I haven’t so much as read the jacket flap of the first book and I still get bombarded with ads for the second book. I read the title of the first one and immediately put it in the “NO” pile in my head.
  20. 2 points
    It sounds like he did have a car worth that much, at least on paper. I’ve been hit twice and the insurance payout was, both times, more than what I thought my car was worth. The last time I was actually driving on a salvage title, and the insurance company still gave me a good payout. And it must be paid for, or as you said, insurance would have sent it direct to the lien holder. However, OP is still assuming that’s what the money is from. She doesn’t really know as it sounds like they don’t have any communication with DS. If he’s in college, it could also be student loan refund money. This is about the right time of year depending on classes. It could be a private loan. It could be money he earned from selling something or a lot of things. My point is OP is still making a lot of assumptions. I am so confused about all this “he should pay you from it” and “take him to court.” Your DS has asked you to send it to his insurance. They will take care of it. He’ll probably have a higher insurance payment, but that’s what happens when you hit a car.
  21. 2 points
    FWIW keeping kitty awake all day yesterday didn't have the desired effect. When she woke up at 4, DH went downstairs and turned a bird video on for her on the tv. Apparently she calmed right down and we got an extra hour and a half of sleep. :).
  22. 2 points
    Yaaaayyyy! Happy squeals for you both! Where is this school in order of preference compared to his other acceptances?
  23. 2 points
    I have changed my mind about a lot of things due to conversations here on this board (and I may post about some of them later) but never in the 16+ years I have been here have I ever changed my mind because someone was yelling, or saying people who hold certain opinions are stupid and that their children deserve to die or be removed from their care. Nor do I ever find it effective when someone says there is tons of proof out there to support my opinion why don't you just research it. I am fairly intelligent (IQ in the 120s), well educated (BA), very well read and have already done the research, come to my conclusions and formed my opinion. It may be different than your opinion but that doesn't mean I am stupid. It just means that we disagree and generally when things are controversial it is because there is no cut and dried right answer. If I felt the need to change someone else's mind (which I rarely do), I would try to do so by presenting the research that supports my POV, referring people to that particular research and offering to answer questions to the best of my ability or referring to those answers elsewhere. I might also offer life examples that support my point of view because IMHO sometimes emotions are more effective in opening someone's heart to different POV that straight up scientific info. Basically anger and hatred are rarely effective but gentle sharing of info and opinions might be.
  24. 2 points
    I graduated from Missouri S&T (although it was called the University of Missouri at Rolla at that time)! Dh graduated from there as well. Let me know if you have any questions about the school. Congratulations to your ds on all of his accomplishments! It's great to have choices! 😎
  25. 2 points
    My approach was to do just enough external validation to prove the rigor of the complete transcript, and then to focus on creating a unique program of study for my ds. His external validation: top marks in SAT, SAT2s, four AP equivalents; two DE courses (plus Music performance diploma and math competitions) Basically, he topped the test for every single external thing he did. This demonstrated that he was a top student. But notice that only a small subset of his high school courses were validated by external grades. The rest we did on our own and were very creative. Why take Economics with a textbook, when you can read Picketty's Capital? That course was called "the economics of inequality." Why memorize a textbook for AP Biology, when you can focus on statistical analysis of ecology data, study genetic engineering, and read Scientific American on a breadth of current topics? We were creative, and I made sure they knew that through my counselor's letter and course descriptions. You simply cannot stand out with a ton of APs. Plus APs are so rote. He wanted more from his education. He wanted to dig deep into things he was passionate about. He did a 50 hour research paper on the chemistry of Fracking. It was amazing. There was no way he could have had time to do it if he was working his way through the set curriculum of the AP world. And we also found that attending the local university was so time consuming - going up there 3 times a week - it just dug into his study time. Plus, he could do higher level work on his own. I discussed this in my counselor letter. Homeschooling allows you to stand out. Use it to your advantage. Ruth in NZ
  26. 2 points
    Why were you expecting things to be different........if you weren't doing them differently? If you wanted to sit and eat with the family, why not make changes so that you could? Instead of running to the kitchen for seconds, why not bring the whole meal out family style? That way, when someone wants seconds, the food is already right there, no getting up necessary. Same with water...just bring a pitcher out to the table one time, no getting up for water. Cutting food for a toddler or spoon feeding a baby, those are tasks that anyone over a reasonable age can perform. Unless your spouse isn't present for the meals, he's perfectly capable of doing so, just take turns. And that doesn't have to be some long serious heart to just hand him the babyfood and the spoon and say "here, I did this last night, it's your turn today 😁" And for that matter, your spouse, if he's there at the meal, is also perfectly capable of getting up to go to the kitchen too, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying" honey, I would like to eat can you please get DD the spoon/straw/extra peas she is asking for." Now, if your spouse is not at the meals, obviously that's something different, but that really has nothing to do with dads equally parenting (well I suppose unless dad's gone because he's at the bar or something.) If you are feeling discontent about something, it's not a mommy blog's job to make changes so you don't feel discontentment anymore. The only entity responsible for your feelings is you, and the only entity capable of making the changes to remove discontentment is you. What changes you might need to make are up to you, whether thats talking to your spouse, changing the way you serve dinner, or just up and deciding not to be discontent anymore.
  27. 2 points
    For my book group which is meeting tomorrow, I read Amor Towles' A Gentleman in Moscow: A Novel which I very much enjoyed. I'm looking forward to our discussion. "He can’t leave his hotel. You won’t want to. From the New York Times bestselling author of Rules of Civility—a transporting novel about a man who is ordered to spend the rest of his life inside a luxury hotel. In 1922, Count Alexander Rostov is deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, and is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov, an indomitable man of erudition and wit, has never worked a day in his life, and must now live in an attic room while some of the most tumultuous decades in Russian history are unfolding outside the hotel’s doors. Unexpectedly, his reduced circumstances provide him entry into a much larger world of emotional discovery. Brimming with humor, a glittering cast of characters, and one beautifully rendered scene after another, this singular novel casts a spell as it relates the count’s endeavor to gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a man of purpose." I see that this is to be made into a television series-- interesting. *** I also reread a favorite novella which I enjoyed once again -- Sarina Bowen's Blonde Date (Ivy Years 2.5) Regards, Kareni
  28. 2 points
    I'm sorry, Wendy. I hope that having a diagnosis helps in some ways. I know that every day is more than hard. I also know that your children are blessed to have you for a mother.
  29. 2 points
    CLE does grouping ("use tens and ones"). Kids doing CLE do not merely use the algorithm day in and day out. My children using CLE understand mathematical concepts fine. Better than fine-- they are really fantastic at thinking mathematically and they test into much higher math classes, despite one of them having a processing disorder. I would attribute that, as all things, to a mix of the children's inherent sense of the world, the things I put in front of them, and the program. That will always be the case, though, and I have friends who've used Singapore and Math Mammoth (in both homeschool and private school schools) whose kids absolutely do not understand what they are doing in math (though the parents and teachers are math whizzes themselves). .... But I don't come on WTM and talk about how behind and unsuitable those other excellent math programs are, because they are fine. The fact is that a lot of kids have learned math very well through things like CLE and R&S. It is another fact that homeschoolers with only very young kids don't always know where they are going yet, and how they're actually going to get there. "Conceptual programs" (a misnomer, because, again, CLE and co. do teach mathematical concepts) are one path. They do not collectively constitute the only path, and it's not an inherently superior path for any given student. Those of us with children with processing problems and working memory issues know what we are talking about when we talk about our own kids. We're sitting here next to these children every day, hammering out maths and everything else. If we say that "just draw some groups" isn't going to cut it, then it's not going to cut it. And it absolutely did not cut it, here! --------------------------------- To the OP... your kids are young. They are finding beginning math to be easy because beginning math is easy for most people. It's really not a complicated set of information. You're looking for a problem where there doesn't appear to be one. By all means, use other things if you want to use other things! For any reason... you don't really need a justification. But if, as you say, what you're using is working... is there some other definition of the word "working" that you need to use? Do your young kids need to be struggling for you to feel satisfied that you're doing the right thing in math? ...and, if so, is that because of your personal feelings about math, or because that's what your kids actually need right now? <<--- There are no wrong answers and no need to answer here, but it's useful to think them through.
  30. 1 point
    Just wanted to give a shout out for Simplify Homeschool online classes for middle schoolers. My 7th grade son is taking one on Puzzles and Codes (taught by Farrar!) and it’s been a fantastic experience. He’s a kid who doesn’t like a lot of school and typically doesn’t like anything that seems schoolish even if it’s a topic he likes. But he’s totally gotten into the class. It’s also been a nice gentle first online class. The work is interesting and challenging but not so much that it’s overwhelming. I think he likes the independence of doing it on his own. I don’t know if they will offer online classes again, but if they do, I highly recommend them.
  31. 1 point
    Every Monday morning Irene would post her weekly message (lecture and instructions) to the class. Everything students need to do for that week would be included such as videos to watch, links to read, slides to review for that week's quiz, etc. She doesn't tape her own lectures but would suggest videos to watch before certain assignments. And obviously, everything is asynchronous.
  32. 1 point
    I would like to know what the optional safety features are... Things like Entertainment systems are obvious, but not necessary. Safety should be at the highest level and not with optional safety features.
  33. 1 point
    Ok, he was upset. He can be upset. Now, I can see a situation where I would have felt dh should have come to help out bc we were in a crazy time of life, but that doesn’t seem to be what is happening here.
  34. 1 point
    She's been on their recruiting list for USMMA since she was a freshman, but they do not have a math major and dd does not want to go engineering. She would very likely get a nomination and be admitted there easily. Her father graduated from USMMA, so it's a school on every child's "consider this school" list. We visited in 2017, and even though she likes small schools, this felt small and sad to her. But, we'll take a look at TAMU, as she has had interest in Marine Biology and Marine Science -
  35. 1 point
    White sand, cool water, and, best of all, NO SHARKS. Yep, definitely Beach.
  36. 1 point
    One of these days, I might get to one of these concerts. 🙂 We have extended family in that area, but I haven't made it to a concert yet. I appreciate the notification in hopes it will work out at some point.
  37. 1 point
    That actually sounds like a really good idea. You might vary the sizes of the pots on the steps as well.
  38. 1 point
  39. 1 point
    I would absolutely contact your insurance company. I would want to know *exactly* IF he actually submitted a claim, and for what he submitted for a claim. IF they actually issued him a check for his car and your car - a car for which he doesn't hold the title or the policy. I would want to know why they didn't send out an appraiser to check out the damage themselves before issuing a check? why did they issue a check to him? I would also wonder if the money was from something else - and he's not telling the truth about where it came from. If he has committed insurance fraud - are you prepared for the fallout of that?
  40. 1 point
    I think you need to know the actual diagnosis before you decide. It will give you an important piece of information in dealing with colleges, and their answers will help you choose the best course. FWIW, college Spanish is much more vocab heavy than high school Spanish, and it typically moves much faster. If you find out she has to take something besides ASL to graduate college, working on it now to get a good foundation is a good idea, even if it's not for a formal grade.
  41. 1 point
    Very interesting thread and so important to have some balance yet it can feel like a constant struggle. I find that I need to have a short list of activities that counterbalance my work life. If the list gets too long, I cannot accommodate all of it and it leads to my becoming frustrated and feeling I am behind in my to-do list. It sounds rather regimented but with few exceptions, I keep a time schedule. The dog and I go for our daily walk around the same time within 30 minutes. She reminds me should I try to miss it or be late. I try to have two days a week for yoga type exercises in addition to the walking. Then I need some time for fun reading, trying out new recipes and doing something together with dh. A few key points for me: Setting realistic goals, adjust if goals turn out to be too ambitious or somehow not reachable. Don't worry if a week is a little off. Life happens. Pick it up again the next day / week and move forward. The rhythm that Patty Joanna describes seems to work for me as well. Summer and winter rhythms appear to be different for me.
  42. 1 point
    For companies with this policy, it counts as a full day of work because salaried and exempt employees are not paid for the time they work. A person checking an e-mail while on vacation could then take regular pay for that day, but at least in my company people who go on vacation don't check their e-mail. When they're on vacation, they're on vacation.
  43. 1 point
    In general, I agree with you. In the context of a mutually respectful relationship, checking in with one’s spouse about their time commitments certainly the best way to ensure good communication and ensure that everyone gets their needs and wants met (generally speaking, of course). My impression was that the OP’s husband was not being very considerate of her wants and needs unless he deemed them worthy of his time and she was trying develop contentment with the status quo. I certainly could have misread the OP. She may have meant that she doesn’t consider her needs to be of primary importance and is reluctant to ask her husband for time to herself. That’s a different conversation in that case.
  44. 1 point
    I just disabled ads suggestions on my read-only kindles yesterday. It's hidden deep in the settings.
  45. 1 point
    As soon as I saw that this thread was Quill's, I immediately thought, "Oh. That stupid wash your face book." :) Good luck, Quill! ETA: I've not read the book, so I don't know if it really is stupid. It's just what I've heard. 😉
  46. 1 point
    I get some of what you are saying, op. And I agree that sometimes stay-at-home parents become discontent with the arrangements they themselves create. I think that's normal, because everyone grows over time and needs change as they and their kids grow. I notice that a lot of friction can occur when one person wants change and the other thinks it's all fine in the established pattern, especially if the way things are going is comfortable. However, that one line about heart to heart conversation not changing anything... That's not good, sweetheart. Maybe the conversation style needs to change, maybe you need to be more clear about what you need/want, but yeah, deep heartfelt conversation from you should turn the family ship, IMO.
  47. 1 point
    Uggh. My preschool sponsors a Scholastic Book Fair this month, and we teachers have to put in a list of books (from those displayed) that we would like parents to buy for our "classroom libraries." I can only find 2--one is a Curious George book, and one is a picture book. I am upset at the selection offered--so.much.crap. All sparkly princess garbage, Lego-themed twaddle, etc etc. Sigh. Sometimes I just feel like a fish outta water.
  48. 1 point
    I'm sure Mr. Singh knew the bright colors would garner attention. maybe he's excited its almost spring. (I am. it broke 70 yesterday and is very sunny) crocuses dont' come in pink. but the yellow is about right. someone should ask the commenter if he would have said that about someone wearing a tie/dress those colors?
  49. 1 point
    My dh has ADHD, diagnosed 18 years into our marriage. We’re at almost 27 years now. He does this sort of thing ALL THE TIME. For the first 20 years or so, it would aggravate me so much. So much. But I’m finally realizing it’s just another symptom of the ADHD. The H part. Hyper. When I finally started thinking of the ADHD as an actual disability (sorry to anyone who finds that offensive), I could be calm and patient when he does these things. Instead of getting irritated at his “help” that ended up not helping at all, I realize he’s working with a disability that makes him think differently from me. He really believes he’s helping and not just taking over something I wanted to do. It sounds ridiculous to complain about it, so I’ve never said anything about it to anyone (until right now), but his help can be so irritating. I stand up to put my dish in the sink to wash it, but he’s there first and takes the dish and starts washing it for me. Sounds nice, right? Sort of. I say, “Oh, I wonder how long it takes to get to X?” and start using MapQuest to find the directions, and he has to grab his ipad and look it up at the same time I am, and he’s all hyper about it trying to get it done superfast. Basically, for those who wonder what the problem is: he’s hyper. Everything becomes a race. If I’m going to wash a dish, he is going to wash it faster. If I’m going to use Mapquest, he’s going to find the directions faster. For so many years, I didn’t recognize what was going on and I would wonder why I felt so frazzled around him all the time. It’s because everything becomes an unspoken race. It’s not like I wanted to race or even was trying to, but when you’re trying to do something and someone else in the room tries to do it faster than you (though I know he’s completely unconsious of the fact that this is what he’s doing), it creates a tense mood and it makes you feel like you have to rush, too, until you stop and think about why you’re feeling frazzled and rushed. For the past few years, I simply give him a tiny smile and walk away. I won’t engage in the race. I just let him do his own thing. If he wants to wash that dish (this happened yesterday), then I let him. The mapquest thing was last week. I started to look something up because I was the one who needed to know and he grabbed his ipad and started looking it up. I said, “Are you looking this up at the same time I am?” “Yes!” “Ok, then I’m not going to look it up now. You can be the one to look it up.” And I came here to relax with the hive and let him look it up. For my dh, I frame it in my mind as a disability. And instead of trying to change him, I just let him do his thing. I think he’s happier hyping around like that. I’m not. So I just don’t hype with him. As soon as I recognize that I’m getting caught up in his frenetic tempo, I disengage and slow down.
  50. 1 point
    faithmom, we stopped homeschooling before we got to Algebra, though we did homeschool our oldest through 8th grade and used CLE through the 800 level. And I have two kids with diagnosed math disability and a third (the oldest) who finds math hard. I know that you say it is not dyscalculia, but it sounds like it to me. Do you know that in the US, under federal law, your local public school must evaluate homeschoolers who are suspected of learning differences? For FREE?? The process can seem daunting, but there are many on the WTM boards who have been through it and are willing to offer advise about how you might proceed. Knowing more about the root issues should help you as you teach her. And may help her understand herself better. And if you are planning for her to take college testing, such as the SAT and ACT, having documentation of the learning difficulties might help her get accommodations, such as extra time on the tests. Having the school evaluate her might be really helpful. If you choose to move forward toward that, I would ask them to evaluate language issues, as well as math, since she has such difficulty with the language parts of math. It's a speech therapist who would do that part of the testing.
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