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Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/29/2018 in all areas

  1. 101 points
    UPDATE: Greta has beat the odds and has had some reduction in the size of her tumors. She had her husband have had a wonderful second honeymoon to the most romantic of cities—Paris—and have found the way to love one another and life while squarely facing this serious illness. She’s connected at her parish with frequent gatherings, and, of course, connected with her medical community with frequent meetings. Greta calls herself most blessed to have this time with her husband, daughter, family and friends. Recently, she has developed really loud tinnitus, so she has joined me in the hearing-aid-brigade, which lets her play white noise into her ears that at least distracts from the tinnitus. And podcasts too. :0) It's not curative but it does help. Going into this diagnosis, 9 months ago, the "expectancy" was stated as 12 months. Without raising her hopes or projecting doom, her doctor told her that she is healthier now than she was 12 months ago, and recent tests revealed "nothing new." (That's called "good news" in this milieu.) Please keep praying for her. She is going to try to read the posts here, so if you want to chime in, feel free. (Just between us chickens, Greta has found and displayed amazing grace in a most unexpected place and experience. We should be so happy to call her one of "ours." )
  2. 59 points
    It's been a long haul, with two extended periods of absence-on-leave due to illness. He will graduate in three weeks. He is job searching - he has found one part-time gig already and has been invited to interview for a full-time position. Onwards and upwards. Very relieved.
  3. 57 points
    Today was the first day of recitation for Intro Chem which is a required class. The instructor started pretty basic, and the kids behind ds in the class were making somewhat-loud, rude comments about the class being useless, and why did they bother to show up, etc. After class, two of them went up to the instructor and said to him "next time, why don't you just tell anyone who knows anything about chemistry to leave. This class just wasted my time. etc" He said it went on for at least a minute or two. DS waited for the kids to leave the class and went up to the instructor and said "Thanks so much for teaching this recitation. Looks like you have a pretty tough crowd here, but I appreciate you being here." The instructor then asks his name and they get to talking. DS has been working in a chemistry lab this summer and apparently they have been doing the same type of research in materials science and really hit it off. DS came home and called me to say not just how he couldn't believe how rude the kids were, but that he felt good about making the effort to fix it.
  4. 57 points
    It is so much fun! I had a lovely lunch today with @Penguin. She gets around and has met with other boardies on other continents, but I am privileged to have her living practically in my back yard. 😊 So here we are together today.
  5. 52 points
    I can't believe our little rainbow baby is three months old already! He is the sweetest. He has recently started giggling at us, and he shoves burp cloths into his mouth. We adore him so, so much. Mr. Five cannot get enough of him. A thousand times a day, he comes up to say, "I love this baby too, too much. I need this baby. Let me hold the baby." A few weeks ago, he told me, "This is the baby I always wanted." Baby gets covered with a lot of kisses. (And in true Mr. Five fashion, he still very often reminds us out of the blue that he is a double big brother.) It is such a beautiful gift to have him and to be able to pick him up and cuddle him whenever I want. His little face smiling at me in the morning lights my world.
  6. 46 points
    funny story. DS17 took the ACT and got a great score. You can tell he is different from me because 17 yo me would have said 'woo-hoo I'm done w/ standardized testing for college entrance forever'. DS though ''s good, but what if some college likes the SAT better so I should ALSO take the SAT.' Wishing to avoid hearing him be all stressed out for the next month while he preps for this exam I don't think he needs, I suggested he call the admissions board of a few colleges he's interested in and just ask them. So he did. Discission w/ CMU's admission person went something like: DS17: Hello. I'm very interested in attending CMU. I'll be applying this fall. I just took the ACT and got a 35, but I was wondering if you have a preference for SAT over ACT so maybe I should take that too. CMU Admissions: that's a very good score. congratulations. No, then don't care. Wait....what department are you interested in? DS17: Econ CMU Admissions: nope, they don't care. DS17: and Musical Theater. CMU Admissions: <pause> oh honey. They SO DON'T care. <snicker> He was honestly pretty insulted. 😛
  7. 45 points
    The wedding went very well. Since they hadn't thought about ushers or seating parents, dh and I started out the wedding procession by walking down the aisle and seating ourselves in the front and the oldest brother was grabbed to escort the bride's mother to her seat. My son asked the photographer to get a photo with all of our family including dh and I, grandparents, and all the siblings and their SO. It was interesting because my son and his new wife spent much of the evening having a good time hanging out with his brothers (instead of his groomsmen) and he even danced with his little sister. Overall, it was a very nice evening.
  8. 45 points
    Back in 2017, I asked for help naming our boy Max. Unfortunately, we lost him suddenly this February to acute hemolytic anemia. I was devastated...he was my shadow. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned to dh that I was finally to a point where it didn’t hurt to think of losing Max, and occasionally I would glance at the shelter sites. Wednesday I saw this guy, and I fell in love. I showed dh, and it was the same. We brought him home Wednesday evening, and he’s made things interesting since. 😆 Meet Jukka...pronounced “you kuh”. Dh wanted a name that meant gift from God, and something about that name stood out. He’s a 9 week old Australian Shepherd.
  9. 43 points
  10. 43 points
    My munchkin is almost 3 months. She barely missed being born on the 4th of July. She’s such a happy baby. So here she is at the golf course helping me caddy for her older siblings. Thea Lynnae ❤️
  11. 40 points
    Feeling okay. I am so rich in wonderful friends, I cannot begin to tell you how lucky I am. I have food out the wazoo; my bunco friends put together a big basket-overflowing-to-gift-bag of treats, books, magazines, lip balm, lotion, fuzzy socks - just everything! I have a terrific little cushion thay goes under the arm and keeps the left side comfy. It helped me sleep. Just hanging around here reading and eating a bagel and apple my friends brought by. Try to take a little lap around the kitchen whenever my Fitbit buzzes me on the hour. ?
  12. 39 points
    I have a younger brother who's about 35 years old, never married, no kids. For lots of reasons, my dh and I decided he's the best choice if both of us get hit by a bus and perish. I asked my brother about this decision yesterday in text. My bother lives in Turkey in a small city in an apartment. Oh yeah, he;s legally blind and can't drive. My minor kids are 16, 13, and 10 Me: We're discussing end of life decisions. Would you consider allowing us to name you guardian of our three minor kids if dh and I kicked the bucket? Bro: Do I get to star in a sitcom? 3 wisecracking kids and their bumbling uncle? Me: Why yes, of course. The kids have talked about that very thing. Have you ever seen Despicable Me? Sort of the same concept. Dd 16 drives now, so you're all set. But she does get lost a lot. Bro: Well, obviously, that is one of the story lines. The others involve ds10 getting into shenanigans as a DJ of a popular YouTube channel. Dd13 trying to set me up with the aunties of all her friends and dd 16 getting us lost everytime we go some place. It practically writes itself. But, yes, of course I would be happy for them to be my guardian. I mean. To be their guardian. I're not planning to off yourselves any time soon are you? Me: Don't forget they come with two enormous dogs and three cats. Bro: You're not planning on staging your own deaths so you and dh can start a new life in the Adirondacks in a Winnebago? Me: Oooo. I hadn't thought of that. Great idea! I'll write it down. Me: They do come with a sizeable life insurance policy. Bro: Would that fund my dates with the ladies. Me: Dog food. Just dog food.
  13. 38 points
    My little guy will be 1 next week! I can't believe it. I had to share 2 pictures because I can't pick. I won't leave the pictures up forever.
  14. 37 points
  15. 37 points
    Okay, here’s my 18 month old - she’s like a joey, she loves to be in my “pouch”! Daddy calls her his sugar cookie!❤️
  16. 36 points
    I've known for a while that my ability to read what I type is going really downhill - IOW, my brain will still read a sentence how I meant it to come out even if what I actually typed is completely wrong, especially if I read it again while the information is still fresh in my brain. Anyways, I went back and re-read a final report I wrote for a class (because I'm stalking the website for my final grade). For context, this document is going to be shared with every professor in the department because it's dictating my projects from now until I graduate. I meant to say Large Hadron Collider (the particle accelerator)....but what I wrote was Large Hardon...
  17. 36 points
    Autumn & Clemetine A local lady was raising an abandoned litter of farm kitties. It’s too cold for them to be outside without a mama to snuggle. What a shame! So they’re snuggled in with us for the winter, and as the grand babies are moving closer in the spring so they won’t be spending the night, I’m hopeful these two will be able to just stay in the house.
  18. 35 points
    So the update: It went way better then could be expected. My 3 yo napped through the whole thing. The big boys were great---vibrant, happy, obedient, and obviously smart. They nicely played mouse trap with my mother. We invited her right in she sat on our couch and talked to us for 1/2 an hour. Mostly she was satisfying her curiosity about homeschooling, and commiserating about how stupid the complaint was. She asked us a rapid fire list about risk factors: drugs, alcohol, spousal abuse etc. We talked briefly about rules & discipline. She never had any interest in leaving the living room. She only talked with the children when they initiated conversation. She was fascinated by homeschooling. This is the text of the complaint in red, to give you an idea of how truly stupid it was: Caller reports that dh (34) & Ananda (33) are parents of ds9, ds6 & ds3. According to the caller the children are homeschooled. The caller reported that ds9 wears a pull up (like this is a habitual thing). The caller stated that they believe ds3 also wears a pull up, but it is unknown if ds6 wears pull ups. The caller did not speak with the parents as to why ds9 wears a pull up. Why is this person so obsessed with pull ups? When the caller was asked if they had any other concerns, the caller stated that the children have difficulty listening to directions, which is typical for children who are homeschooled; (You guys are going to love that.) however, the children exhibit behaviors of not following directions beyond the norm. The caller stated that they didn't have any other concerns at this time. Then they provided mangled DOB's for the children. Based on the complaint, I am certain this is someone from the YMCA, probably an employee, but maybe another parent. So . . . that is a thing. I am just so flabbergasted at the stupidity. You can see why she wasn't at all concerned. Apparently, nothing about the call concerned CPS. She said they would have told off the caller. But they emailed the state department of education just to close out their file. The department of education replied, in blue: I do not have a filing under the last name (dh & dc's last name). Basics such as potty training would be considered child care and parenting responsibilities, not a curriculum choice. That is the best part. The department of education being like wtf! She said that she had to follow up & do the whole she-bang because the department of ed didn't have a record of us. This is because the YMCA mangled the DOB's and our homeschool is registered under my (different) last name. Apparently, though, most people cooperate with her. She seemed really taken aback when I told her that many people would have refused to talk to her, to allow her access to the children and to enter the home. She said that she couldn't get a court order, but it would raise her suspicions. Apparently the only people who have reacted that way have been horrifically abusive or drug addicts. She would have kept coming back until our case expired. Anyways, 5 days of torture because someone at the YMCA is weird about pull-ups. Thanks. Ananda
  19. 34 points
    UPDATE: dd’s bf, who is like a son to us, got the fees reversed! He got an Affidavit and stood in dh’s place at the Show Cause hearing, and, though he reports the hearing did not go well and they rushed him and acted like they didn’t understand, nonetheless, they sent him a message that they were reversing the fees! I feel like this was an unlikely outcome and I am just electrified that it turned out so well!
  20. 34 points
    Well, I think the girls were right to speak up, and the counselor was wrong. Unless the girls did it in a mean way. The boy with autism probably didn't realize that he was crossing boundaries and making the girls feel uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable for him to keep doing it. Someone needed to tell him to knock it off, and it was within the rights of the girls to do it. I would want the girls and adults to tell my son with HFA to cut it out, if he were the one doing it. Instead of reprimanding the girls, the counselor should have worked with the boy to help him understand expected boundaries of behavior. There is often not a way to tell when someone has HFA, unless they reveal that themselves, so I don't think teaching them to look for signs of autism would prevent this kind of thing. Instead of talking about autism (though I realize it has been brought up in this situation), it may be more helpful to explain that some people have trouble understanding social boundaries. If they are in such a situation, again, and telling the guy to stop does not make it stop, the next step is to ask an adult for help.
  21. 34 points
    See, these people have just saved me a fortune. Because I am never going anywhere again.
  22. 33 points
    As a person who has had Amazon Prime since I beta tested it... This makes me a little angry. I paid $119 this year for free shipping. Yes, there are other Prime perks, but the one I actually USE is the free two-day shipping. To then just give it to everyone after I've paid a serious premium for it? Not cool.
  23. 32 points
    They've jumped on the "I'm looking for something online that my kid can work on independently" bandwagon. From a business perspective, they're keeping up with what consumers want. Honestly, it kinda looks like Time 4 Learning. There is so much junky homeschooling out there now, it bothers me. My son has several friends who homeschooled up to high school and then the parents put them in public school. They were educated with the "just teach yourself online independently so your parents can do other stuff" technique and they were complaining so much to my son about it. They felt like they didn't get a very good education and they're a little resentful. And I think it's one of the reasons this forum has a fraction of the traffic it used to have. Classical education is something the parents have to put together and be interactive with. I'm not changing the way we homeschool. 😞 I have one starting college in January and one starting Kindergarten in January. So, I get to start all over. It just seems lonely, now, because no one homeschools like we do anymore.
  24. 32 points
  25. 31 points
    Is doing the thing you will not do a major sin--that is, in the unmarried couple living together example, is entering the house of an unmarried couple a major sin according to your beliefs? Not is living together unmarried major sin. This matters. Jesus did not himself commit sins, but he also did not hesitate to enter the homes of sinners or eat with sinners. He was not sullied by relationships with imperfect people, nor was he concerned that by interacting with them he was condoning their sins.
  26. 31 points
    Am I the only one who remembers being a teen and lying to my parents, and it not being because I was on the fast track to Hell? I was a really good kid, good grades, no drugs, tried alcohol once in high school, etc etc, and I still lied to my parents. Heck, even on Leave it to Beaver, with the "perfect family", the kids lied and deceived their parents. And I'm pretty sure ALL kids break house rules at some point. So not freak out worthy to me. Just a normal teen parenting issue. I also wouldn't sit around waiting for her to come to me, that feels like playing games, not like direct, healthy communication that I want to model.
  27. 31 points
    Asylum seekers aren’t getting around established US laws, but instead they’re using their right to claim asylum in the US. Almost anyone has that right, although it doesn’t mean they will be granted asylum. US asylum laws (and those in many other countries) are heavily influenced by what happened to so many people, especially Jews, in WWII who were automatically denied asylum in safe countries. It is important that we fairly evaluate asylum claims. There is no cap on asylees, as there are with refugees, because we never would want to stop people legitimately in need of safety from being granted asylum simply because a quota was reached. The only way to claim asylum in the US is to be physically present in the US. Refugees are in a different legal category and have a different entry and approval process. This is a group of asylum seekers, not refugees, so they need to present themselves in the US and claim asylum. Under US law, asylum seekers are supposed to be allowed to present themselves anywhere in the US and claim asylum. They do not have to be at an official border crossing. After claiming asylum, they should be assessed to see if they have a credible fear of persecution in their home country. If they do, they will be allowed to continue their asylum claim which takes some time to adjudicate because of the paperwork they need to provide to show they aren’t safe at home. US laws allows them to stay in the US while their claims are being processed - they almost have to because leaving the US before their claim is decided on can void the claim. There are very few humanitarian options for entering the US. There are a few types of humanitarian visas, or someone can go through the very long and difficult process of entering the US as a refugee, or someone can claim asylum. Asylum claims are the most practical option for people facing significant violence in their home countries in Central America.
  28. 30 points
    She posted on FB that they made it home this evening.
  29. 30 points
    A lot would depend on the backstory. Had the person been told not to bring anything? Had they been told that there was a menu concept that was different and wasn’t potluck? Do they have a history of trying to take over events? Do they cross boundaries? Someone with no weird backstory would not irk me half as much as someone who has had a history of trying to take over events despite being asked not to do so.
  30. 30 points
    DS accepted to Baylor University - Provost's Gold Scholarship 😃
  31. 30 points
    I'm looking at it from the other end--done after 29 years. Our purpose in life is "to glorify God and to enjoy him forever". Notice it doesn't say our purpose is to enjoy ourselves or "find" ourselves. It is to glorify God. Is it hard? You betcha! Is it worth it? Yes. Did I have seasons where I was burnt out? Yes, with babies, and toddlers, and high schoolers all at once. Some of the years are just a blur, but it was worth it. I head to Denver tomorrow, to fly out to see dd play at IU. I see her as an adult, happily married, with a great career, finishing the doctorate. We are called to be faithful.
  32. 29 points
    I am so excited I am shaking. Some of you may remember I have been working on Ancestry . com to find my former MIL's birth family. She was adopted in 1930 and did not have a birth certificate. Through DNA and a lot of detective work and a lot of help along the way from helpful relatives we have been able to positively identify both her birth mother and birth father. She has 3 living half siblings on her birth father side. Neither mother or father or any of their family are people my MIL has ever heard of. In 1930 when she was born the birth family lived in TX about 90 miles away from where my MIL was raised up in LA. It was a long journey. I have been working on it for almost a year. I just can't believe it.
  33. 29 points
    DD14’s talk on “Online instruction of Herpetology for gifted students”, about her classes at Athena’s Academy, has been accepted to the 2020 World Congress of Herpetology. This is her first major conference acceptance, and it’s for WORLDS! Thanks to all the parents here who have let their kids take her Herpetology classes the last few years, and who have given permission to let her share your kids’ work, survey responses, and your responses. (And there are still seats available in this fall’s class :))
  34. 29 points
    Over the last few weeks, as my DD10's GS troop has gone back to (B&M) school, as we have engaged in the community a bit, I have been experiencing feelings lol. In our previous location, I knew we were there temporarily and much of the stuff we did regarding kids activities and social engagements was done with full knowledge that all that stuff was temporary. We intend to stay here permanently and are therefore engaging with the community more. And I am realizing how different we are. Mostly, I don't care about differences. I know what my goals are regarding parenting and education of my kids and I am ok with going against the norm. But, because we were.............not isolated, but isolated? from most folks not family, plus so much else going on like dealing with family estates from afar, long distance home owner crisis stuff, etc....I guess I didn't realize just how different our philosophies regarding parenting and education of my kids really is from so many others. So, being society (for lack of a better phrase..........I really felt pretty isolated being in the rural/semi rural location we were) has shown me a lot and made me question myself. This weekend, I was out of town, and visiting family I don't see often. So, not the closer family we are usually working to maintain relationships with but cousins and great grandparents and second cousins etc. People who know me but don't know all of the struggles we have like the ASD diagnosis and such were telling me how awesome my kids were. Public school teachers were telling me how impressed they were with my kids. Random people who are like cousin's fiance's sister's kid were telling me that they loved talking to my kids. And then, family who I know better, some of whom have had struggles with their own kids, actually said things like "I wish I had done that." And THEN, when some of these same people are reminded that I have an older kid who is 23 and doing ok......really, I won't lie, I was feeling some love. I know full well that there is a measure of my kids success and behaviors and so on that really have nothing to do with me. But, this weekend,, after seeing so many things that are so different, that so many people recognized that the children who are at least in part products of the parenting decisions I have made, really are great people.............yeah, I am feeling a bit validated. Maybe, just maybe, I really am doing the right things for us.
  35. 29 points
    because I request that they NOT open a package of something perishable when there is already an open one. Like shredded cheese or sandwich meat. OK...I admit there are days when the request is LOUD. Every person that lives or has ever lived in my house is pretty smart. But they don’t see an issue with three open bags of sharp cheddar cheese. They definitely don’t understand that I would appreciate them using up the medium cheddar before opening a mild cheddar. That is absolutely unreasonable. I actually have to limit the variety of cheese available. If something in there says “Mexican” there is no way they will use cheddar on their taco. So purchasing both mozzarella and pizza cheese is just asking for it. I have a system to help them out even. Once something is opened it goes in the deli drawer. Look there first! Then open another package if there isn’t one. This problem is only getting worse as people fly the nest because now it takes alot longer to use up those open packages and they go bad. If only one person is a cheddar fan, multiple open bags won’t get used up. I have let go of an awful lot of things over the years but I’m never going to get over having three open packages of sliced turkey. (Related rant...once you open the sliced turkey that is a commitment! It has to be eaten before it goes bad. So don’t open it for a slice and not make a sandwich again. You open that package it is a commitment!!)
  36. 29 points
    Said with an indulgent and superior smile, “You have to cut the apron string someday, you know.” As if I was keeping the kids home for selfish reasons. Homeschooling is one of the most unselfish things I’ve ever done in my life.
  37. 29 points
    DS accepted at Trinity University [San Antonio] with merit scholarship.😃
  38. 28 points
    We have a local farm that I am quite positive has a number of illegal immigrants working on it. I’ve been there with the ambulance and when we show up with red lights flashing, people start running into the woods. Instead of arresting them, I’d rather see the owners and managers of the farm arrested. I’ve been inside the “housing” they provide and it’s incredibly overcrowded—14 or 15 people in a single wide, one bathroom trailer. I’m sure they aren’t paying legal wages either. Of course they aren’t offering benefits either, but since these are illegal immigrants none of the workers are going to complain. My personal opinion is to arrest the hiring managers and anyone else facilitating the hiring or poor conditions. Then find a way to offer a path to legal immigration or citizenship, pending a background check. But I don’t run the world.
  39. 28 points
    Yes, I do. Having friends in the car is one of the variables that leads to wrecks. Using cell phones is probably the other big variable. If my teen lied to me about following the law or anything else driving related, the wrath of God would descend and that teen wouldn’t drive for a long time. — signed someone who has pulled a number of dead teens from wrecks over the years.
  40. 28 points
    I'm spending a lot of time with my boy talking him through this at the moment. It's all become so restrictive; at least where we are, gender stereotypes have become worse, not better. No, liking colorful clothes, and florals, and theatre, and long hair, and preferring your girl friends, and being gentle and uninterested in blokey stuff does not mean you were meant to be a girl. It means that the current conception of maleness amongst your peer group is seriously skewed. I can't believe we went through the whole gender bending of the 70's and 80's only to end up here, where a boy who likes having floral cushions on his bed is actually a girl. Madness. Total madness. Luckily for him, he has a mum who is 1. totally supportive of boys and men (and girls and women) having a wide, wide range of gender expression, and 2. grounded in material reality.
  41. 28 points
    I am the opposite of Scrooge. I know that not everyone celebrates and I respect that. But I love the family time, I love giving gifts (I think giving gifts is my love language and I have an excuse to give, give, give), I love baking, decorating, planning, cooking, etc, etc. I just love it. DH has had to put up with it and get used to. He would rather not even have a Christmas tree but he knows that it is a must with me. After 21 years of marriage, he just goes with it 😂 Either way, I just wanted to say that I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
  42. 27 points
    From bulimia. I officially stopped weighing and tracking on December 5th, but have weighed myself probably 4 times since then. I have found that when I weigh, I respond by restricting. Either I'm happy with my weight and want to restrict to maintain it or it's higher than I want it to be so I want to restrict to lose again. Well, I weighed myself yesterday. I was about where I expected to be and was fine with it and had no desire to track and restrict. So since Dec. 5th, I have gained 8 lbs. and I'm okay with it. I know I'll still gain some more but it's coming on slow enough for me to handle it. I still have late night binges that leaves me regretting them in the morning. I find that those days are days I don't eat decent meals. I eat lightly, usually because I'm not hungry, but by the time it hits about 9:00 pm, I'm ravenous. So I'm trying to avoid that by eating breakfast and lunch even if I'm not overly hungry. I also keep a snack at work with me to eat in the afternoon when I feel like I'm lagging. I stopped seeing my counselor. Once again we were just talking in circles, i.e. the same stuff every visit. She thinks I'm doing remarkably well and told me her door is always open even if I just want to come for a single visit to talk about my progress. She's been a great help. So that's it. 🙂
  43. 27 points
    Update: No chemo is necessary! My ten-year probability of recurrence, assuming I will be on Tamoxifen for five years is 8%.
  44. 26 points
    Yesterday I finished piecing the quilt on the left- it was a year long Block of the Month program and it took me a bajillion hours to piece it. It’s for the guest room our grands will sleep in when they visit. I’ll quilt it on my sister’s long arm machine. Usually she does it for me but I have moved close enough that I can visit and learn to do it myself. The shoes will be painted to be my game day shoes. I put the gesso on the canvas today and roughed in the drawing/lettering. Luckily the opening game is an away game so I have more than a week to finish them. I’m not a painter at all- I have no drawing or painting talent. But thought it would be fun to try something new. Can’t wait to hear about projects everyone is working on. I’d love to try some new crafts!
  45. 26 points
    Dd accepted to Boston University, Connecticut College and Vassar😊
  46. 26 points
    Here you go, ladies. Bonus: check out the cute snowman earrings!
  47. 26 points
    Well and you'd honestly think if it's your JOB to deal with issuing marriage licenses to legal US citizens it would not be too much to ask that you know the states and basic legal requirements to fulfill your paid governmental role. Maybe we need a No Clerk Left Behind government education program.
  48. 26 points
    Okay, I'm going to do something I've never done on this board. I'm going to stick my nose right in and give my opinion here. It's just my opinion, so do with it what you want. But I want to give it. First, this thread has gone from being supportive of someone who is clearly hurting to nitpicking over how she is handling small things and making assumptions about a child that only SHE knows better than anyone else. I think this is unfair. Of course, she asked for advice here and anyone has a right to give their own opinion, which I respect. Laying out clothes for a 10 year old? Some moms may do it, some may not. If one does it does not mean that she will forever be hindering his ability to dress himself properly. Just as some children potty train very early and some don't, none of them go off to college still peeing in their pants or sucking on a pacifier. We all develop at different rates and have different personalities. They will grow and mature and find their way. Their brains mature and change as they age; they WILL figure out how to dress themselves. If my ten year old boy is going out the door with his shirt inside out, I'm going to right it for him. No harm done. If he does it again the next day, I'd do it again. Eventually he would be old and wise enough to figure it out on his own, and he'd even learn to pick out his own clothes and lay them out....when the time is right for long as she has a normal mother who knows to naturally let these things occur as the kid is able and intuitively do less and less. It's like the letter V. Narrow and tight at the bottom, but widening out at the top,...gradually and gently. I don't think it is fair to say that she is standing over him with a whip. That's making a strong assumption. You aren't there. If the OP says her kid needs help and struggles with these things, then I believe her. Who am I to say she is doing it all wrong? Furthermore, it's unfair to imply that the OP is doing the same as a TOXIC MIL by doing what you say is micromanaging her son. If the MIL is truly toxic, it wouldn't be surprising that these things would affect her children and later the family of her children. But a mom seeing her child needs a little extra help and giving it doesn't mean she is going to become a toxic, over bearing mother with a son who can't tie his own shoes. That is a whole different dynamic that continues, for the children, into their adult life and beyond. Helping her son lay out clothes does not equal future toxic mother who will micromanage her son forever and ever. That is just so silly.The OP admits her faults and she realizes her faults. To imply that is just so unfair and insensitive. Honestly, I've experienced some of what the OP has experienced here. But I've also gotten some very good advice and much needed support. It just bothers me to see threads like this where the OP gets backed into a corner like this and no matter what she says, it just gets worse. You can't possibly accurately judge her parenting. And, honestly, what will work for one child won't work for another, even if the mom is an "expert" and has raised umpteen kids and some of them are special needs and etc. , etc. Each one is different. I guess I am just in a mood today.....but I just had to say this. Heart, best wishes to you as you as you work through all these things. 🙂
  49. 26 points
    Do you have Netflix? If so I have a dorky sounding suggestion. There’s a show Queer Eye about 5 gay men who do makeovers for people. Episode 9 of season 1 may be a good one to watch. Depending on how you handle this now, you can leave the door open for your daughter to hold on to God, or you can slam that door down hard if she’s met with disgust or utter rejection. In that episode, it shows the anguish of two men who told their Christian families they were gay, and were rejected. They loved God and loved their family and loved their church and were rejected. In the episode, one is trying to turn back to his family and to God and is terrified of yet more rejection, but is taking the step. The other one simply won’t even set his foot inside a church anymore in a mixture of pain and fear and anger. So...go gently. Seriously ask what Jesus would do. And we know the answer to that: he’d love her and just like Zacchaeus , he’d head over to her house for dinner and be with her. Your daughter already knows what you and your husband think. She already knows the scriptures you’d use. Just love her now. ETA: that Queer Eye epsiode also told the story of the very loving mom who mourned the loss of “what would have been in my son could have been a husband to a wife and a father to his own biological children” and had learned to love and embrace her son, even with her faith that told her being gay was wrong. Her feelings and journey may resonate with you.
  50. 26 points
    I really shouldn't be commenting bc 1) it might get me banned or 2) I will not be very liked around here and I like this board, but....what the heck I think the whole thing is beyond ridiculous. I think there are plenty of ways that people learn from different culture and if they want to incorporate various activities, traditions, foods or whatever else in their lives bc they like it - it's a good thing. It's a great thing! How something so wonderful has been turned into a any kind of wrong-doing just boggles my mind.
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