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Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/18/2019 in all areas

  1. 43 points
    I know this has to be a sensitive place for you with your recent treatment.......but I worked in oncology and genomics for many many years. And I have seen advanced stage breast cancer treatment very often lead to quite more torment, pain, and suffering for the same outcome at the end, and that's death. Except for you (not youyou, but them) didn't get to enjoy the last bit because you were in the hospital for a last ditch effort the entire time. Everyone dies eventually and some would rather do it on their terms, so to speak, rather than wrung out, drugged out, and in a hospital anyway. So I don't think someone making that decision to not treat is nuts at all- regardless of what stage. Physicians are really great at some things- they are not always great at communicating the downsides and risks of cancer treatment, and often the treatment is more brutal than the disease. That is something that has gotten really obfuscated in the US and it bothers me on a really deep level. And sometimes the disabilities caused by the treatment mean a not wonderful life left to suffer through after treatment. So I think in this case, you have to let it go and trust them to be an adult over their life. Be supportive and make your peace if you can., but honestly, since you're asking our opinion, my opinion is you need to stay out of it. It's their battle to chose or walk away from, and there is no cancer treatment on this earth that is not without sizable risks and adverse events, so it's not an equitable thing to suicide. It's not like there's a magic treatment that ensures all will be okay and they're simply choosing not to do it. To some people, it's the graceful decision that allows them some sort of control instead of handing it over to a bunch of doctors. Just my 2 cents, being intimately involved in the field, though not on the same level as you as a patient.
  2. 35 points
    This looks like a job I'd enjoy with good pay and benefits. I've had two previous interviews with them, reference checks, criminal/credit checks, and did the required psychological testing (Calipers). Some of you know that I've been looking for full-time work for 18 months. We've been scraping by on my three part-time jobs, what my college kids have been able to contribute in various ways, and the kindness of friends. There's a lot of back story, but I'll leave it there. I volunteer with a local ministry and last night another leader commented that some people's lives are just a continuous uphill battle. That's me. If I get this job, so many things will fall into place. So positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Update: It was a decent interview, but it could go either way. The responsibilities listed and job requirements listed didn't connect in some ways, so I asked about that and found out that there was quite a bit that wasn't stated in the job responsibilities that I'd be doing. One person dominated the questions and one said almost nothing. The other said a few things but was mostly quiet. They listed job requirements that I'm especially qualified for but didn't seem to want to talk about those areas. So I don't know. I certainly could do the job and enjoy it, but I've had better interviews. At the end I tried to get them back to the areas I'm strong in by talking about their future goals. But they didn't quite know how to get there, so I pointed out that I know how to do that. So I think I ended well. I was turned down yesterday on a job I had a second interview for several weeks ago. That one I thought would be an immediate turn-down because one of the interviewers didn't seem to like my answers, but apparently they did try to find a place for me and just didn't have an opening. It was through an employee referral. So that was a small positive. They said they would keep my resume on file.
  3. 28 points
    Yes. They countered for a bit more and we accepted. It is DONE. We have the sale. Whew! I was so shocked they got back to us so soon. I just figured they would take a few days and keep us stressed.
  4. 28 points
    UPDATE: Apparently she DOES have time for us after all 🤣 DH and I have told her 3 times yesterday that we are DONE and perhaps we should just let the buyers walk away and take if off the market and stay here until our son graduates high school in 3 years. We are now some sort of priority. Fancy that. I have special powers. BAHAHAHAHA!
  5. 27 points
    What I would do is let all of them see Toy Story 4 with the July budget for the Lion King and then I'd go see the Lion King by myself. If you aren't excited to see Toy Story 4 then just send your dh to see it with the kids. This plan leaves no additional money spent and everyone pretty happy.
  6. 27 points
    She is in a very vulnerable place right now and you reached out to her and listened. So, I don't find it odd at all that she has read more into the relationship than you have. Edited:grammar fix
  7. 26 points
    It’s really not as clear cut as you think. The differences between 2nd wave and 3rd wave feminism come to mind. Most of us believe women should be valued as equal human beings to men, and not the same inherently but their own equally valuable sex. But there is a whole lot of baggage with feminist ideology in its various iterations and expressions that actually denigrates women and men for the sake of egalitarianism in a much more destructive way. Being looked down upon for being ‘just’ a SAHM comes to mind. Anyway, it’s actually a fairly nuanced discussion, no made up realities necessary.
  8. 23 points
    My main thought is, “Good for her!” That’s great that she has the courage to share her opinion, especially in a space where she knows it will not be popular.
  9. 23 points
    Good news 🙂 Original lump was > 5cm “malignant mass which demonstrates significant interval decrease in size now measuring 2.0 cm AP x 1.2 cm RL x 1.8 cm SI.” I’m using public WiFi as kids are in summer classes so I am intermittently surfing the boards. (ETA: I meant my WiFi connection is unstable as I am walking around and using public WiFi)
  10. 22 points
    I'm not a feminist. If we parsed it out to its essence maybe I am, but the standard definition with all of its modern connotations? Nope. She had balls* to say that to her Women's lit class. I just keep my mouth shut in my classes. I have to disagree with her on the white men comment, but I understand the sentiment. *yes, I know...
  11. 20 points
    I never call myself a feminist. It's bad enough that people assume I feel and vote a certain way because I am female. Of course I believe in equal respect etc., but the modern feminist movement still considers me a disgrace because of what I don't believe in. As for the "women in literature" comment, I think she's saying that the constant and intense focus on our differences just drives deeper wedges between groups. I do think it can be a fascinating study, but why doesn't anyone have the same interest in men in literature? As a lifelong reader, I can think of interesting observations on both sides. But only women are sold these courses, at a cost of thousands of dollars, which goes to enrich someone for discriminating and not being particularly scholarly IMO. In short, I think your sister asks a fair question.
  12. 19 points
    This. And I’ll add that when a family member hid their terminal diagnosis from the family for a period of months, a lot of people were angry with them...but the real name of that anger was grief.
  13. 19 points
    I’m the only one of all the adults in the house using the iron to know how to add water to it. I’m guessing that some of you are gifted in special ways too.
  14. 19 points
    I have been most surprised by the effect age has had on time! It just flies by at an unacceptable rate. I remember as a teen feeling like time went so slowly- I was one who couldn't wait to grow up and have a spouse, a house, a kid, etc. It seemed to go by at a normal pace after that, but now it goes so fast I wish I could rein it back in. I feel like my Grandmother, here at the end of June thinking "next thing we know it'll be Thanksgiving and then Christmas!"
  15. 19 points
    I am entering the When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple stage; and, I'll tell you, the freedom of not-much-caring what folks think of me more than outweighs the admitted irritations of aching joints and sagging parts.
  16. 19 points
    Oh gosh. In our family that would be totally normal. I’d push back on the ice cream as well, but that doesn’t change that laughing at a fart or eating dessert first (which I sometimes do, too!) are harmless fun. It’s not like 99% of the child’s life experience is meal ruining and poor manners 🙂
  17. 17 points
    Well, often when people do this there isn't any real treatment, not that will cure them. Could that be the case here? I mean, if there is no real cure, then it really isn't suicide to decline treatment.
  18. 17 points
    I didn't quote all the suggestions but the sheer breadth of the creative ideas here is staggering. I have a plan for the rest of the day. I'm going to drink some water and take my antidepressant, then I'm heading to my backyard to practice some nude yoga. Later, I'll relax with a low carb pot brownie and a good book on meditation. My kids won't recognize my sunburnt chill self when they get home. 👍
  19. 17 points
    so what? judge judy isn't a "feminist" either. she will tell you she's a laywer, judge - who happens to be a woman. I grew up in a liberal home, down the street from a feminist leader in our area. I came to have contempt for that woman, the disrespect with which she treated other people when she thought no one else was looking *really* turned me off. (especially the contempt directed at women, by "feminists", who didn't choose the message 1970's feminists pushed.) I treat people with respect, and I expect people to treat others with respect - even when no one else is looking.
  20. 17 points
    I am also not a feminist. I have daughters; this doesn't, somehow, require me to hold any particular set of sociopolitical beliefs. Interesting that everyone assumes (and it's true, of course) that having conservative sociopolitical beliefs - and not even conservative in historical terms, but just conservative in today's western society terms - is out of place in a college classroom and/or would take courage to reveal or defend in that environment. I don't disagree, I just think it's interesting.
  21. 17 points
    No, my point is that's not what people are talking about when they say elementary school shouldn't be so rigorous or school-ish. People are talking about letting kids have more recess, more free play, more read alouds snuggled in a lap or sprawled on the floor, more being in the kitchen baking with a parent, more time in nature, less butts-in-seats doing worksheets, less freaking out if someone can't read well when they are 5 or 6, and certainly not talking about scheduling more camps or programs for them. They are talking about things that cost very little money and free up a kid's time to not be entertained, or scheduled, or taught. They are talking about a kid sitting in their room with their stuffed animals, dolls, actions figures, houses, whatever and making up a story in their brain for an hour and acting it out. Or sitting and drawing or painting or painting or folding paper without someone telling them the "right" way to do it in an art class. Making a fort in the woods and mixing up "stew" out of pine needles and dirt and pretending to be lost on a desert island. That sort of stuff. The stuff that's all but gone from early elementary education, and even a lot of pre-schools and from a lot of home life since homeschooling has become all about classes, camps, robotics, programs, and making sure everyone has "experiences". Most people (that I've ever heard talk about this issue) who are talking about academics in early elementary school being a problem aren't talking about needing $2-$3k for more programs or more scheduled classes; quite the opposite actually. I have older-ish kids that I need to school. I spend time with the youngers first, doing read aloud, baking or kitchen work, teaching the K'er to read, write, and do simple arithmetic. Maaaybe some art, but I'm not usually crafty mom. They think that stuff up on their own, mostly. My little two have a ton of time to free play, entertain each other, themselves, do little mini-chores around the house...so in my mind it's a win-win. It honestly never occurred to me that someone would think that speaking about problematic academics in elementary schools would take that to mean they needed to spend a couple thousand dollars on scheduling some other experience or "outdoor school". I am lucky that there is a homeschool PE class weekly during the school year, and get-togethers locally that cost...about the cost of bringing snacks. It's really low-key. Sending my kids to school 2 days a week wouldn't really fit with our homeschool, though, for a lot of reasons, mainly time. I can't teach effectively and have good continuity at home while having my kids gone from our school two days a week to go to a different school. Well, I could, but I guess we'd be schooling year round, which I can't handle either, lol. ETA: I just reread your post and laughed because I realized that my kids are also in a play-based, multi-age, experiential learning program for the whole day, every day and we just call it...being at home and living life. Maybe I *do* need the state to start paying me educational funds!! (meant to be lighthearted, not snark...in case tone is questionable 😬)
  22. 16 points
    There may have once been a definition of feminism that was universal and meant "equality", but feminism now has so much political baggage that I absolutely understand someone wanting to separate herself from that group. I also do not identify as a feminist, despite having served in the military, gotten a STEM degree, etc. I have been held up as a "poster child" for feminism in the past, and I have always found it incredibly annoying that others would attempt to put me in that box. Many of the ideas I hold are completely anti-feminist, and certainly my political stances are as well. It is possible to not be a feminist AND believe in equal pay for equal work for example, But my experience with "militant feminists" is that any deviation from the narrative is seen as a betrayal, so I don't even attempt to claim membership in that group.
  23. 16 points
    I think there is more than one definition of feminist and by my definition she is one. Would she have accepted "women can't be in the army?" Or "women can't be doctors?". Will she expect to get paid and respected as much as her male colleagues? Then she is a feminist. She wants equal rights and to be thought of as human first, women second. But if she is a pre med and feels like that why on earth is she taking such a class?
  24. 16 points
    YES!!!!! I'm still dizzy over how quickly you went from idea to sale. Meanwhile I'm still on my couch thinking that maybe I should paint my kitchen. If you bottle your determination you can take my money.
  25. 16 points
    I can SEE if toilets are dirty. Kind of like seeing dead people. It is truly a gift.
  26. 16 points
    Does he have a state ID, or at least the necessary paperwork to get a state ID? If not, and if he has no ability to get this paperwork, then he needs to contact a social worker about getting documentation to prove he exists. This is a surprisingly common situation from abusive parents, this will not be the first time social services has helped a young adult do this. With the paperwork sorted - and he may need to make these arrangements using somebody else's home as his base of operations - he needs to take the following steps, in roughly this order: 1. He needs to secure temporary housing, even if that means a youth shelter or couch-surfing for a while. 1a. He needs to speak to a social worker about what aid he's eligible for - SNAP, welfare, low-cost or free counseling, assistance taking his GED? 2. He needs to contact the bank and ask them what steps are necessary to block access from his parents. This may mean simply opening a new account. Pretty much as soon as he does this his parents will kick him out, which is why he needs his ID and housing sorted out FIRST. 3. He needs to contact child services. The parents may not be legally culpable, but that's for child services to work out. He's certainly not the only child they're abusing. Again, it is necessary for him to secure his own situation first. Honestly, the best thing you can do for him, if it's at all feasible, is offer him room and board at your house. You can set some restrictions on it - for example, you might stipulate that it's only for a set period of time, that he needs to be working towards his GED and/or getting his driver's license, or that a certain percentage of his income has to be banked with an eye towards paying the security deposit and first month's rent on his own place as soon as he's got enough.
  27. 16 points
  28. 16 points
    First, I want to apologize for the flounce. I was just too emotional yesterday to deal with a big debate. I shouldn't have started the thread if I wasn't prepared for the pushback. I guess I thought people would be more supportive and I just couldn't take it yesterday with everything I had going on. So, my apologies. Second, setting aside the HSLDA issue, I described the article as a hit piece because, IMO, the journalist was incredibly biased in her reporting. She used loaded language throughout the piece, characterizing us as an "extreme" form of school choice and taking "advantage of the school's money." Homeschool charters were also not accurately described throughout the article. For example, we cannot purchase "anything that [we] want" from vendors. Critically, she painted all homeschool charters across California with the same broad brush when they do not all operate in the same ways. She writes, "With home school charters, there doesn’t have to be a set curriculum. Students only have to meet virtually with a teacher once a month and turn in one work sample for each meeting - a sample that the teacher doesn’t grade, according to parents." What I think she meant to say is that SOME educational facilitators at SOME homeschool charters allow families to unschool (use experiential learning in lieu of a curriculum) during the K-8 years. SOME educational facilitators at SOME homeschool charters allow parents to meet virtually with them and SOME allow only one sample per learning period (again, only K-8). The way this article is written will no doubt lead the public to believe that this is going on at all or most homeschool charters and that is patently false. And to describe our schools in this way, when they are under tremendous scrutiny by the legislature, does a real disservice to tens of thousands of families who have already been failed by traditional public schools. Third, given how few Black homeschoolers there are (and PoC homeschooling generally), I was very upset that Ms. Akpan's photo was used as the "face" of an article about the purported misuse of educational funds. The other blogger mentioned looks much more like the face of homeschooling and yet Ms. Akpan made the cover. Why? Also, Ms. Akpan has one child. Yet, she is pictured with several children (who are nieces and nephews). So, I ask you: which blogger looks more like a homeschooler and which blogger looks more like a racist stereotype about a Black woman with a gaggle of kids milking the system? The racist undertones were palpable and unacceptable. So, what does homeschooling actually look like for us? Sacha and Ronen are enrolled in two different charters, and their policies vary. Sacha's charter (Dimensions -- formerly Dehesa) is more rigid than Ronen's (Inspire -- he was with Valiant before they closed). Because Sacha is 2e, he received extensive special education testing through his charter school, and his individualized educational plan has enabled him to study math, science, and language arts at a high school level (even though he is just finishing 4th grade), while still interacting regularly with his age peers in enrichment classes held at our charter's resource center in San Diego. Sacha hit the ceiling on his state testing last year and most recently, he took the PSAT 8/9 (administered by the charter for him) and scored in the 99.9th percentile for a 4th grader. Ronen is too young for testing. So, yes, charter students do test. But, you have to understand that there is a very large percentage of special ed students in homeschool charters. These are kids who struggled in traditional public schools. Of course many of them are going to struggle with testing! Re accountability, we meet at least every 20 days with our educational facilitators (in person with Dimensions; Valiant allowed online meetings via Zoom, so we did that; Inspire currently allows either), who review our work samples (one for each subject at Dimensions; one per learning period at Valiant; I don't yet know what Inspire requires), talk with my children about their learning activities in each subject, and enjoy a long-term, mentoring relationship with their students. I believe Valiant gave us $2400 in funds (I never paid that much attention, to be honest), plus $500 in the summer. There has been a bit of charter school funds arms race the past few years, so Dimensions has been changing its funding each year. Their new policy is that each child will not have a specific amount of funds. The facilitators will have a budget for the kids on their rosters that they will be able to use to help support the kid's learning plans. So, no more wasteful spending. Some kids will get more to support their learning plans; some kids will need less. With a set amount of funds, you did often see people try to spend every last penny on "consumable" items -- things they could keep/use. Both Dimensions and Inspire have a lending library, where you can borrow any nonconsumable items, like textbooks, etc. It doesn't cost any funds to use those items, which is great. So, I only end up using my funds on consumable workbooks, online classes, PE classes, and games. We do a lot of gameschooling, so I buy a lot of board games with funds. So, that is my vice. We already had Six Flags and Sea World passes, etc. I've never bought any amusement park passes with funds. So, yes, we use curriculum. And yes, some schools are more supportive of unschooling than others. But, we still have to take the prescribed California classes and meet the Caifornia standards -- people just going about meeting those standards in different ways, according to their child's needs. Re the funds... what I don't think people understand is that, if the funds go away, an entire economy that has sprung up around the use of these charter school funds will be devastated. For example, my friends own a music school. They used to not have much of an income stream during the middle of the day except for a few toddler classes and some old people taking up piano in retirement. Now, they have tons of homeschoolers using charter funds to study music. That will be destroyed up and down the state of California. All the field trip vendors -- gone. Lots of livelihoods will be destroyed. And don't think the price of online classes at your favorite vendors won't go up if California charter homeschoolers disappear. Next time you sign up for an online class, notice how many of them are vendors for California charters. We are subsidizing the cost of many of your classes. If our money goes away, those students will disappear and those classes will not run. So, yeah. This is a big deal. Yes, some charters have played loosey goosey and walked the line. People always push boundaries. It happens. But, let's not vilify tens of thousands of homeschoolers (again, the majority of California homeschoolers use charters) because some people played fast and loose. Oh, yes. Someone asked about the administration. Charters are managed by charter management companies -- not by school districts. School districts authorize charters and collect money as authorizers. Because so many public school students have been fleeing traditional schools and running to charters, the large school districts are pushing back by lobbying for with this anti-charter legislation. They are pissed because very small and very poor school districts have been the ones authorizing homeschool charters. A charter is allowed to operate in its county and in the counties contiguous to it. So, if you get a tiny school district in LA County (see the Acton school district in the high desert -- outskirts of LA County) to authorize you, you can now enroll student in LA County and all the counties that touch it. So, you only need to get a few desperate authorizers to run your charter in the most populous parts of the state. (The superintendent of the tiny Dehesa school district was also indicted for skimming of the top -- so it isn't just the charter who was involved.) The charter management company collects money for managing the back end. In the case of Valiant, the A3 management charter management company took down the entire school because they were making up fake students and enrolling them in the school's summer program. The A3 folks were pocketing the money the state paid for these students to be enrolled in the school over the summer. All the educational facilitators lost their jobs and students (like my little one) lost their school. Now, the school itself is being lambasted in the media by reporters and the HSLDA, who don't understand sh*t about the way homeschool charters in CA work. I am happy to answer any questions.
  29. 15 points
    I stumbled upon them reading War and Peace to each other and felt like such a superior mom. Then, I stumbled upon them about to stick the vacuum against the youngest's ear in order to suck the water out 🙄 Did I point out that they're in college?
  30. 15 points
    I think the "fight" framing is useful for people who are in a situation facing an illness that is reasonably able to be defeated. For people who are "battling" a foe that either can never be defeated (such as a mental illness or a chronic condition) or a disease that is so far along that they'll almost certainly not recover, my understanding is that it can feel very disheartening. It's one thing to figuratively face off against an enemy you can take down and another to be called upon to battle a figurative dragon day after day for the rest of your life, especially if you know you're likely to lose anyway.
  31. 15 points
    It is getting real. Pool is being repaired this week. I just called all of our electric, gas, trash, cable companies, and am calling insurance to change that. And sellers agreed to let us move everything into the large garage starting Sat morning! YAY!
  32. 15 points
    I see this argument brought up a lot. And I think it’s only meant to rile people emotionally because it’s not logical or based in reality. It took me until last year to realize that my son hadn’t read a book written by a woman or about women (or with women who were more than annoying stock characters who get in the man’s way and cause trouble, like the woman who tried to adopt Huck Finn or the woman that Lennie shook in Of Mice and Men), in 2 solid years, because so many of the traditional books studied in high school are written by men. Per this list (and so many others—this is just the first one I googled), only 24 of the 100 titles are written by women, with the top 13 being male authors, except for Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, which tops everything. Last year, I purposely added books written by women and about women into his British Lit rotation because I was sending a message that only men wrote books and only men did anything of interest in books, without even realizing that’s what I was doing. Female characters were few and far between. I needed to purposely add balance to my son’s lessons because if I followed the recommended lists, there is no balance. Same thing with history. While there are women in history, there are very few compared to men. Crack open a history book and look at the index. Tally up the male names vs the female names. You already know that there will be considerably more tallies in the male column. So, yeah, I think it would be ridiculous to have a white history month or men in lit class. Because we have 12 white history months every single year and all our lit classes are men in lit classes. I’m not massaging numbers or trying to be tricky or even really invested in this. It’s just fact that men in history and men in literature are the overwhelming majority and you can go years only reading books written by men and not even realize it’s happened.
  33. 15 points
    I’m the only person in my house who knows how to load the dishwasher with any manner of efficiency whatsoever.
  34. 15 points
    She is supposed to call at 9pm. And, as usual, she is late. I can only wait 15 min and then I have got to get a shower to get ready to get to the airport. She will be getting some choice words from me. We are obviously not her priority and she laughs everything off with a, "HAHA, I have just been SO BUSY." Her last email said, "I can meet on Saturday between 5-7pm and then not again until Monday, I am just so busy. How crazy is that?" Well MISSY, I am available NOW and only NOW or we will be calling your supervisor, how crazy is THAT? Stupid woman. I am at the end of my rope. And yes, we are willing to let them walk. We know the windows need replacing. We have already allotted for those windows at 3k. We will throw in another 2k towards other crap, but H-E-double hockey sticks NO to the beams. Walk if you must. We will lose, and they will lose, but I am not lowering the price $20k to fix beams that don't need fixing.
  35. 15 points
    You didn't ask for comments on this, seeking, but I have to put in my two cents' worth. You and your DH are spending a small fortune to take your family on a trip that hopefully will provide many happy memories. It IS her senior trip. But it is NOT just her vacation. It is a vacation for ALL of you, and the schedule has to work for everyone else, too. Given the crowd factor, your DD should be willing to work with you so that all of you have a great time. (She's old enough to understand that.) Expecting everybody else to sit in a hotel room twiddling their thumbs while Senior Girl gets her beauty rest until noon is, frankly, an unfair expectation on her part. (Personally, I'd go absolutely bonkers.) I'd have a chat with her about it. Maybe there's one day she gets to do that. Or maybe she has to meet the rest of you at the park. But I'd put my foot down on the idea that Senior Girl gets to dictate vacation terms. You're being extremely generous and are entitled to consideration. Hope it all works out and you have a lovely time.
  36. 15 points
    "What a very generous and kind offer! However, tying the money to a particular college just doesn't work for for many reasons, so if you want to withdraw your offer, we understand, and no hard feelings. But, if you would still like to make a general contribution towards grandkids' college fund without any restrictions about where/how the funds are spent, then here's how to do so in the way that works best tax-wise for both of us _________________."
  37. 15 points
    I don't think it's weird. I try to think if someone here posted in a panic while going through a difficult divorce. "I have no one to help me! All my friends abandoned me!" There's a good chance that the advice might be "isn't there anyone you can think of?" and in response to "there's one person who's reached out but I don't even know her irl". The hive might say "go ahead and ask, she'll probably say no but she might surprise you!" Just keep saying no with no excuses. Giving a reason implies you'd help otherwise.
  38. 14 points
    If it works for you, than that's all that matters for you. But yes, LOTS of people do not like and even get angry about the "fight" rhetoric wrt to illnesses. To some people, it places blame on the person who is ill. Got problems with type 1 diabetes? Well it must be because they just aren't fighting it good enough. Die of cancer - must have lost the battle. But none of that is true. It's a language we don't use for other acts of nature beyond our control. No one says they lost their battle with the tornado or snake bite or the flu. Just like many people don't like the walk for cure nonsense. There's no cure ever coming from those walks. The amount that goes to actual research or providing actual medical care is pennies. If others do find comfort in those things, then I'm certainly happy for them. But it is not universal by any means.
  39. 14 points
    My father decided to stop treatment after the third (experimental) cancer treatment line stopped working. He decided to spend his last months doing what he wanted to do - reading, walking a bit, eating what good food he could, enjoying a glass of wine. He didn't want to spend his last months in and out of hospital, grasping at straws. He hadn't given up, he had made a choice about how he wanted to spend his life. I second reading Being Mortal as soon as you can.
  40. 14 points
    Declining treatment doesn't mean declining comfort (palliative) care so it doesn't have to be agonizing. ((Hugs))
  41. 14 points
    That when I found my feet after my life was turned upside down, those feet would walk with a new determination towards things I never would have done before. Not because I didn't want to do them, but because I would have convinced myself I shouldn't or couldn't because kids or money or whatever other bs people/society managed to make me think. Now I'm all... screw them. I have hikes to go on every day. I have a 10 day girl friends only trip to Curacao to go to. I have waters to swim in and mountains to walk and damned if I'm going to let my kids think they should wait to enjoy life because of money or spouses or kids or dirty dishes. Hell no. Let's GO. We've only got 70ish years if we are lucky and I've already spent 45 of them, if I feel 45 went quick, the next 30 is going to blink by, so I don't have time to waste procrastinating on a "some day" that may never arrive.
  42. 14 points
    Why does everyone get to define feminism? It HAS a definition. A nice, simple definition. I think she's conflating feminism and misandry. If she was a hyper-religious, my-husband-has-the-final-say type, I'd buy it. Her husband was the stay-at-home dad for half their marriage! He's very laid back. She's a feminist poster girl. She's raising feminist daughters. It's a bit surreal to me. I'm completely fascinated by the disconnect and the hilarity that her SAHM sister is trying to explain this to her. I'm sure there are people who believe the sexes aren't equal, but she's really not one of them. It's mostly fascinating. I know she sounds brave to speak out, but she really has no filter. She's bright and has a big personality and is so much fun, but every now and then she throws a big curve ball like this. I hope the professor handles it with finesse and it turns out to be a great discussion class for everyone. She's in the class because it was the one that fit her schedule. She's loaded with math and science and had to shoehorn this credit in at the last minute. This all reminds me of the time my ds decided that plants weren't alive because he'd invented his own definition of "living" and would not be persuaded to use the actual definition.
  43. 14 points
    The first one is what my family calls "special grandma powers." After all, if a kid can't have a dessert before his meal with grandma, who CAN he do that with? lol. When I was little, any time we went to my grandparents house, the first thing she offered us was milkshakes. Didn't matter what we were there for, milkshakes first lol. The second one, eh. I am not going to admonish my mom for farting in front of my kid and laughing about it. I might jokingly say "Grandma, excuuuuse you!" and nudge my kid and encourage him to do the same. But I am not going to expect my mom to be the shining perfect example of politeness for my kid 100% of the time. I think they are VERY small things to worry about.
  44. 14 points
    they seem to be trying to get more money taken off the price. I would call their bluff and say no to repairs and not offer them any money. You know this house is perfect for their situation, it won't be easy for them to walk away. they choose to back out of the deal I would then go to the realtor's broker and asked to be released of the contract because the realtor has not been working with you on the sale of your house.
  45. 14 points
    Sexual mores are always changing. Today's young people have less sex overall. They may also be turning away from serious relationships in college. That could have good aspects (more focus on studies and career goals) and negative ones (less practice with long term commitments, less emotional connections). I'm not sold that in and of itself this is anything bad. But I also think that brewing a pot one time for fun, as long as it's consensual, is fine. I have no moral judgment of that practice at all. Unless there's more to this... Basically, this just seems like yet another, oh no, young people do things differently thing. Meh.
  46. 13 points
    while I agree with your point here, I am even more concerned that when women--historical, contemporary, or fictional --are portrayed as having interesting and meaningful lives it is almost never in the context of doing the things that have occupied and continue to occupy significant roles in most women's lives, including especially caregiving, nurturing, and community building roles. Women's lives are most often seen as interesting when they take on more traditionally male roles.
  47. 13 points
    One of my best friends through high school and young adulthood was from the same Mennonite group, so I have a decent understanding of the culture my sister is now in. While I’m sure they don’t have a TV it’s likely my nieces are watching Daniel Tiger on the computer. My sister actually messaged some more, which surprised me, asking about my kids and telling me my oldest niece asks about me occasionally and named her doll with my name. It’s a start. I am going to stick with some Daniel tiger books and stuffed animals and send them as a present.
  48. 13 points
    Nope. No strings attached school. I have some personal philosophies regarding "paying for school" that I won't discuss here because my ideas tend to freak out or offend people. They worked out well for DD23 so I can't say I will change them, but they are probably counter to your basic concept. However, I remember a discussion once when my oldest graduated high school. My aunt and uncle, big proponents of parents paying for college, were out for my oldest's high school graduation, which also served as a sort of family reunion. They had paid for their own kids college, both of whom went to expensive schools, got degrees they never used and honestly.....just didn't provide a great example of ROI. The morning before my aunt and uncle left, we all went to breakfast. DD23 complained about DH and I not paying ANYTHING for school. And my aunt, maybe out of experience, said to my kid " Your mom is right. This way there are NO strings attached and you can get the degree YOU want. " Don't have the kids switch schools. If you are paying and you are paying what you can afford and this sets your kids on the path they want to be on, then do NOT alter than just because someone else wants to offer cash for puppet strings. This isn't about a luxury gift, it's about your kids and their education and path in adult life. Tell your parents thank you very much for their generosity, but the college students are already too far along to make changes and the ones not there yet, they are already on the path to specific colleges and can't accept funds for schools that don't get them where they want to go.
  49. 13 points
    I would not have a lot of trust that there wouldn’t be more conditions added later, or excuses looked for not to pay later on. I also would wonder about associated costs that might be much higher, and would those be paid, or only tuition (or what). I just would not have a lot of trust. I think it’s something that could be easy to say but harder to follow through on. I would also be angry/frustrated they waited so long when many decisions about where to attend school were being made years ago, on many sides and not just the financial side. If they have had a change in their situation I would understand that. Otherwise it would seem very flighty to me. I think if you have a better relationship with them and they aren’t generally manipulative with things, and there is some explanation of how they weren’t aware of this before and then realized and are very committed to it — then I think it is very gracious and I hope it works out.
  50. 13 points
    I'm often greatly bothered by HSLDA purporting to represent all homeschoolers in the media. They go in and say that such and such a thing is or isn't mainstream in homeschooling. It's like, you don't represent me. But secular and hybrid schoolers don't have a good, strong, nationwide media voice. AND WE NEED ONE. Because until we have one, HSLDA will keep speaking for us all and news outlets will keep asking them to.
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