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Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/16/2019 in all areas

  1. 49 points
    On his kindle google search I did find “can u win Nobel if xplled frum skol” and “Nobel winners homskol” so at least he’s got a plan. 😂
  2. 48 points
    Part of me would say to you, as I would to any parent, don’t do for them anything that they can do for themselves. But the other part of me thinks, just baby them. Brush their hair. Let them feel their mama’s hands against their scalp and her voice behind their ear. They will adapt as needed. They’ve already shown you that. So don’t worry about that part.
  3. 46 points
    Navy boy comes home Friday for the first time since he left for boot camp Oct 1. He'll be home 2 weeks!!
  4. 39 points
    Thank you for prayers. So far it seems like a best case scenario. Basically an overgrown cyst. She told my husband no signs of cancer. Left an ovary. Hopefully trauma doesn’t turn it off. I’ve walked 3-4 laps of the hospital block but still feel wonky and dizzy, probably from anesthesia. Pain is under control so far but may get worse as spinal wears off. Interestingly, surgery team was all women. Have to fart and/ or poop to go home. No bowel sounds yet. Prayers and thoughts still appreciated. Still very sad about loss of uterus. I know that is silly but it is what it is.
  5. 39 points
  6. 33 points
    I think they need to make a choice. If they want to transition from M to F and that is the most important thing for their happiness, fine. But then they are no longer eligible to compete athletically. It is not fair to let a small group of biological males completely dominate all women’s sports and I can’t believe it’s being allowed at all. I have listened to stories about men who have transitioned to women and how broken their hearts would be if they couldn’t continue to compete athletically, but that is basically what they are stealing from biological women — the ability to compete fairly. Obviously that is why men and women’s sports were split to begin with. Frankly, I don’t know how they are able to delude themselves into thinking they won in a fair competition. I would think it would be humiliating to know that you have such a great advantage and then use it to “win”.
  7. 32 points
    When I was ages 7-11, my mom used to take us kids to Friendlys for ice cream. We rarely got food, just ice cream. When I was 11 we moved to Indiana and there are no Friendlys in Indiana. And all of my siblings and I were unimpressed lol. As we all grew older and became adults and parenting our own kids, and vacationing with them......eating at a Friendlys while on vacation was a thing. When planning a vacation, or any sort of trip really, we would research if there was a Friendlys in the area. Sometimes book the hotel's that much a part of my childhood. When DH and I were preparing to move, one of my FAVORITE things I was looking forward to was being near one. AND THEY CLOSED THEM ALL. Less than 6 months before we moved. All of the Friendlys in the state of Ohio. ( They can of course still be found along the east coast.) Today is DH's birthday. We do celebrate adult birthdays in our family but especially random adult birthdays (this is his 49th) tend to be really low key. We take the kids to buy gifts, special dinner (that he usually grills per his choice) and that's about it. I asked him weeks ago what he wanted to do for dinner, he chose to grill. I asked him for a list of gift ideas, he sent me two specific things exactly to walk into Cabelas with and tell them, "I need THIS." Ok, fine. In an effort to make it special and to have the kids more involved, I decided on a whim today to get him an ice cream cake. And I got some Happy Birthday candles to go with it, and had the kids help me set it all up to sing happy birthday to him and stuff, which I knew he would enjoy. So when I went looking for the ice cream cake I found the perfect one, a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup cake...Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are his favorite candy. Excellent. I put it in the cart. That's when I realized it was Friendlys brand. OMG. I actually took pictures of it to send to my mom lol. So anyway, we eat dinner, sing happy birthday, give DH his fishing pole, he's happy as a clam, the kids are so happy they made DH happy. And then there's me. Have you seen Ratatouille and the scene where the food critic eats the Ratatouille and it flashed back to when he was a kid. That was me sitting there eating my DH's birthday cake lol. I considered sneaking off in a corner and eating the rest of it all by myself. I felt 9yrs old again. It was absolutely awesome. It tasted EXACTLY the same as the sunday did some 30+ years ago. Yeah, probably simple things for simple minds lol. But I still had to share. lol
  8. 32 points
    I asked y'all's advice about scholarships a while back, and I just want to share a very nice update. Because our status has changed with the Episcopal church, from "clergy" to "missionary," dd qualified for help from the National church. She just got a $10,000 scholarship for next year! We told her that is more than what we require for her to contribute to her education (we ask for about a fourth of total cost), so she can keep everything she makes this summer (projected to be about 4.3K) and use it for her expenses next year (we continue to pay towards some food, medical and rent, and she pays car insurance, phone, and other things). Anyway...10K! Hurray!
  9. 32 points
    I was hoping to have it all done in one day, but unfortunately we have to go two days. So the next scheduled date is June 21st. The first day was all his testimony and June 21st will be all my testimony. He looks a lot better. Before he was super skinny and grey looking before. I guess he had some health problems for a while. I think you can't hold that much hate and resentment inside and not have it come out on you in some way. He wouldn't acknowledge me in any way. At one point he was walking into the courtroom in front of me and wouldn't hold open the door, he just let it swing in my face. Petty, childish stuff like that. According to my lawyer, his new lawyer (his 4th) hates him. He will not provide her with any paperwork, etc., and just made it really hard for her to put together a case and I think it showed. His testimony was just dry, boring stuff about his expenses, etc. Some highlights: My attorney: "So, are you planning on buying another car?" Him: "yes" My Attorney: "Another BMW?" Him: "Or better" ---> yet he has no money ..... ummmmmmmmmmmm........... Or this one: My attorney : "Where are you living now" Him: "An apartment right near a homeless shelter. I have to push my way through crowds of homeless people to get to work, and someone was beaten on the front stoop of my building." My attorney: "Do you know that the apartment you are renting is valued at $1.5 million?" Him: ...... crickets ..... Some other things that came out is that he borrowed money from his father to meet expenses, but also took a ski trip in March. When questioned if he used any of his $98,000 bonus on paying off any of his obligations, including sending me any money, his answer was no. The judge actually scowled at that one. The only time he really showed any emotion is when the subject of his bonuses came up. He became really animated and said that the bonuses should be "his and his alone" because of all the work he does to get them. I don't think that went over well. I am actually looking forward to testifying, and I think it will be good that is a whole new day, and only I will be testifying. I have all the juicy stuff like details about his affairs, his spending thousands on his girlfriends from our shared checking account, his complete lack of any support for me or our daughters, etc. I am betting that his new lawyer is not even aware of his affairs ... when they come up I think she will be shocked. All in all though it was a very hard day. I spent 3 years building a new life that is protected from him and then he invaded it for a day. All his nasty comments, his bad attitude, his complete disdain for me ...... it brought me back to when I was under his thumb and felt helpless. I took me a whole day to recover. When I got home I did not feel safe. I don't worry about my physical safety, but it brought up all the anxiety I had when he literally pulled the rug out from under me. I had to get back into the mindset that he cannot touch me where I live and that even if I receive nothing from him, I will still be okay.
  10. 32 points
    I think you should send him away for psychological evaluation and treatment. He is a threat to others. I would get rid of anything in the house of value. Turn off his cellphones, get rid of the computers, so there is no longer an outlet for such things from him under your roof. Give to friends to store for safe keeping. He will steal it for money or to feed his violence. Call your insurance and see what and how health will be covered to treat mental illness. He needs intensive in-patient evaluation. Your Dh needs to come home and as a united front, you need to do this. I wouldn't inform your son of this. I wouldn't negotiate what he can do to get what he wants back. When the police show up, tell them you don't know what to do about his violence. Ask them what they can do to assure he doesn't hurt anyone bc you cannot manage it. And let them do it. NONE of doing that means you don't love your son, tho he will claim it does. It means he has crossed into an area where you can't go. But you can refuse to let him drag others into it. You can set a boundary of love that if he can get his head straight he can return to as a safe haven. But you have one month to do it. Once he is 18 you can't make him do a damn thing with regard to seeking mental help and in many states he will be able to buy real guns. And if he isn't on a path to help, you need to kick him out. Make sure you have a plan to do so safely and a plan to handle if he tries to come back angry. Do not give him any resources that he can profit from or twist to violent ends and don't put your other kids at risk. I don't know if this is the right thing to do. But I know it will be near impossible to get help at 18 and statistically your family is at high risk of violence that his not being there could reduce. My momma heart breaks for you. I pray your family finds peace and healing.
  11. 31 points
    Am I the only one who remembers being a teen and lying to my parents, and it not being because I was on the fast track to Hell? I was a really good kid, good grades, no drugs, tried alcohol once in high school, etc etc, and I still lied to my parents. Heck, even on Leave it to Beaver, with the "perfect family", the kids lied and deceived their parents. And I'm pretty sure ALL kids break house rules at some point. So not freak out worthy to me. Just a normal teen parenting issue. I also wouldn't sit around waiting for her to come to me, that feels like playing games, not like direct, healthy communication that I want to model.
  12. 30 points
    Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. I have been learning the Wahls Protocol for the past couple months and have been working really hard to fit in 7-9 cups of vegetables. My neuro is out for June so I went to my GP. I’ve lost 19 pounds. That’s a lot for me. I’m barely in normal ranges for iron, despite taking three different high quality supplements. My MCV level is above normal range - indicating very low B12. (It was normal last fall.) He didn’t test B12, but this is more telling anyway. The labs were run on Friday. Friday AM, DH had to have an MRI, a steroid shot in his back, and DS went almost an hour away to bale hay and pick up rocks. We had a grad party in the evening, so when DH got done we were in a hurry to pick up DS so we ran through Taco Bell. Nothing was compliant and I gave in and ate an enormous thing full of protein - dairy, refined beans, black beans (all banned on Wahl Level 3) and steak. On Saturday I felt pretty decent for the first time in a few weeks. DH blamed the diet. Test results came back. He went and bought sardines, lol. (Essentially, you can have iron available and low B12 can dampen your ability to utilize it.) So - instead of just focusing on the veg., I’m tracking protein too and I’m fitting in at least one high B12 food each day. It’s only Tuesday. I feel shockingly better. I don’t know why my B12 is so readily depleted... Regardless, I thought I’d share. I really can’t believe the impact. Thank you all for the prayers. This has been one amazing week for us.
  13. 30 points
    I didn't read the other replies because these discussions usually give me a headache because they are SO complex... but it is, indeed a conundrum. I have a daughter who is a college athlete. While she was still in high school, she had quite an awakening: She was one of the best girls on her team. She worked out tirelessly and gave her sport her ALL, putting true blood, sweat, and tears into it. She lived, breathed, ate, drank, and slept her sport. Over winter break, she and a male friend worked out together. He was one of the worst on her male-counterpart team. He has a perfect athletic body, but never really bothered to "do" much to improve his skill or his strength... he just "coasted on pretty," and as a result, the coaches were constantly frustrated with him. He was full of potential, but did not work hard for anything. He was only on the team because of gifts of nature that his body was perfectly suited for the sport and that he was "naturally" athletic. So, they went to work out together and he kicked her butt in EVERYTHING. She was flabbergasted and had thought, surely, she would have bested him in... something! But, no. In every event they practiced together, he was far superior. (and this was when she was around 15-16 and he was 15... he grew another foot and a half shortly after that and gained tons of muscle. Still while doing basically "nothing" to encourage such development. Meanwhile, dd is counting calories, working out constantly, and grinding her way through every practice and every event.) It was an awakening. The more these discussions come up, the more it hurts my head and my heart for everyone involved. I can "see" all sides, but seeing results firsthand of an outstanding high school female athlete vs. an average-but-lazy male athlete... if transgender women are allowed in my dd's sport... there are many hardworking young women who will lose a spot on the team. And I just can't find a way to be okay with that. Not to mention the girls who are involved in contact sports! Women are JUST NOW getting their shot in many college sports! It's been a very recent change for women to be able to BE scholarship athletes! This opportunity is funding my daughter's entire undergraduate education!!! And she's worked her backside off to HAVE that opportunity. To know that, if her friend (or any other boy on the boy's team) happened to be transgender and made his transition before or partway through high school that he would have wound up taking some girl like my daughter's spot on a college team... I just can't be complacent about that. (Although, in a case like that of Caster Semenya, I'd let the girl run against other females. IMHO, if they'd never run the tests she wouldn't have known. It wasn't intentional and it wasn't deceitful and I'm always sad to see her name plastered everywhere with her private business made public in such a way at such a young age. I don't see her "athletic" situation as the same as that of someone who lived early life as a male and then transitioned to female.)
  14. 30 points
    Yes, I think that "open" or some other alternative should be available. I have a daughter who runs. She has a chance of winning against girls if she really works hard. She has zero chance of winning against biological boys who are serious competitors. So what is the point of being active if you're never going to have a chance? It would be a huge backward step for women's sports and the philosophy underlying their promotion. To be blunt, I don't care if this means some people don't get to do everything they want. Nobody gets to do everything they want.
  15. 30 points
    When I bought this house I saw the list on Zillow for an open house. I had always said I would not live in a subdivision in this township but a friend and I stopped because we had time between looking at other houses. We pulled up and there was a garage sale but no for sale or open house sign in the yard so we tentatively walked up to ask. It was the right house so we went around with the kind elderly owner that had built the house himself. A few days later I asked for another showing (it was a for sale by owner) and came with a friend and my brother. As we were looking around the owner offered it to me for $5,000 less than the already very low asking price. Third showing I came with my realtors (parents of my good friend) and my daughter. They invited us in, my daughter sat and watched TV with them while we looked around. Made a written offer right then (as realtor said it was worth $30,000+ more than asking) and the owner started throwing in lawn mowers, trimmers, Christmas tree, etc. Before I even asked for anything. Super nice elderly couple that wanted me and my kids to have their home.
  16. 29 points
    I adopted this girl today! We don't have her yet, we will pick her up after our vacation. We will be at the beach with my parents/sister/neices from the 5th to the 8th, so will pick her up after that. Plus, I still have a foster dog here, sigh. I've talked with weimaraner rescue and they understand I HAVE to get this girl somewhere else by the 9th. I'm driving her 4 hours round trip tomorrow to meet her potential new doggy brother. Which will eat up most of my day, but oh well. I'm in Florida, the Orlando area, the adopters who want her and another dog are in Ohio, the other dog is in the St. Petersburg area. So I'm going to be driving to St. Pete area tomorrow so they dogs can meet each other. If they get along the adopters will get the green light to make plans to drive down and get them. No one is sure when that would happen though, so looks like the weim will stay here with my petsitter and my dogs while we are gone. Then I may be driving her somewhere after that, not sure? Then picking up Blue. (no one knows how a blonde/golden girl got named Blue) So total chaos for the next week, basically. But she got on really well with my Tracker, who has been in a funk since Arya left. They played and played, really nicely. She has excellent doggy manners, and is silly, which he likes. She looks like a Fraggle, and is a bit over eager to give you kisses but otherwise is a very good girl. I think she's going to fit into our household really well.
  17. 29 points
    The doctor called today. Dd and I leave on June 9th for the entire summer in Ireland so she knew we were very anxious about the results. They were looking for a pituitary tumor. Dd has not had a period in almost two years and did not have one even when the endocrinologist tried three times to stimulate one plus her ACTH was high on her most recent labs six weeks ago. The MRIs of her brain were tumor. The bloodwork that has come back so far (most will take a week because it was sent out) is good. She does not need any medication right now for her cortisol levels. Still no ideas as to why she has no periods but so very thankful the answer is not a tumor. Thank you all for the prayers. It has been a very scary few weeks having that possibility floating around in my brain.
  18. 29 points
    This is the theater's problem in having both options available at the same time. Of course a person who preselected a seat is going to expect to sit in the seat that they selected. This does not make them obnoxious.
  19. 29 points
    Please please. I apologize if what I'm about to say comes out wrong. Stop everyhing else you're doing. Treat this like you would treat any other EMERGENCY... this is not a time for contemplation. This is not a time for thinking about his long term future. This is a time to seek assistance, to make changes. Before you CANNOT. Imagine your son had been in a car accident and was hospitalized- what would you do? You'd call your DH and tell him come home right now. You'd reach out to your community- family, friends, temple for help with your other kids. Do that now. You wouldn't spend your time worrying about the impact on the school year, or his future career. You'd focus on getting him the care he needs RIGHT NOW. That's the urgency he needs from you. Even if he doesn't know it. Even if it looks like more of the same, it has come to a moment for action. Seek help and do it immediately, before he's 18 and you cannot help him. If it takes a couple of weeks to get help, you've got to get that ball moving. He's not going to do it. You said yourself, he thought the problem with making threats was that his friends ratted him out - not that making threats was the problem. Hes not capable of making good decisions right now. He doesn't see the seriousness of this, so you have to.
  20. 27 points
    Ok, so the potential buyers came back today, with their realtor, during the open house. They stayed for 45 min. past the open house, a total of over 1.5 hours. THey asked a lot of questions, told the realtor exactly how they would use each space, said the house was perfect for their needs, and just want clarification about a bunch of stuff first. She said they seemed very interested. They told their realtor this is the first house they have looked at that checks most of their boxes in their price range. So......keep praying and thinking positive thoughts. An offer may be coming in the next day or so.
  21. 25 points
    BABY!!! I'm an auntie! Woot! (I have two nieces and a nephew on my husband's side, but this is the first child of my only sibling. I'm excited!!!)
  22. 25 points
    We could stop taking sports seriously. But as this is an issue that doesn’t really affect male athletes, this statement means that female athletes will just have to be second class citizens. And not complain that something they love and work hard for is just not important enough to talk about. I don’t care about scholarships or money as much as I care that women have a level playing field in sport and are respected enough to have a serious conversation about what that means.
  23. 25 points
    Before these boards, I didn't know that intellectual disdain for the Comic Sans font was a thing. But last night I had a weird dream where I got a sleeve tattoo of these barbed wire/spider web looking things and some sort of cool mystical spiritual quote and the tattoo artist used the Comic Sans font and in the dream I was looking at my arm thinking, "What will the WTM boardies think?!?" 🤣🤣🤣
  24. 25 points
    I’m not sure why some posters seem to be attacking the the OP for saying she hates her son. Does she actually hate him? Clearly not. Are we not capable of recognizing hyperbole and words born of fear, stress and anger? Parents should be able to discuss their feelings, even the less than perfect ones, while dealing with a child in crisis without being rebuked. Caregiving is hard, caregivers aren’t perfect and caregivers get to say what they are feeling when venting about the situation even if it’s not the best word choice or literally true. ETA: I don’t hate my sons. Did I feel hatred when my older autistic son almost seriously injured my younger autistic son? You bet your boots I did. I hated the situation, I hated my older son for losing his temper like that, I hated myself for not stopping it fast enough, I hated my state because the support options we need don’t exist here. It was fleeting and not my actual core belief about either my son or myself or having autistic children, but the hate I felt was real.
  25. 24 points
    No. Hiding a phone in one's room as a young teen is nowhere near as bad as it gets. There are teens shooting up drugs, selling their bodies, driving drunk, attacking their parents physically, dropping out of school, etc etc. It can get much much worse than a teen hiding a phone.
  26. 24 points
    Yes, well, it can also mean that the kid is binge watching old MacGyver episodes in bed every night. Ask me how I know...
  27. 24 points
    I work with testosterone filled young male firefighters who think they are God’s gift to the world. I hear a whole lot about their amazing TEA lives. Since I can still remember being in my 20s, I believe about none of it.
  28. 24 points
    The people who were here for 1.5 hours on Tue want to come back tomorrow for a 2nd showing. Their realtor told our realtor that our house checked most of their boxes and they are seriously considering an offer but want to check a couple of things first. Not sure what they want to check, but I do know that after I look at a house I don't remember some stuff about it and want to go back or get clarification if I am interested. So......keep the prayers and thoughts comin' They are thinking they would like to make an offer this weekend, so maybe????
  29. 23 points
    And you know, just because I don't have enough going on, I got a call today for a job I didn't even apply for. They found my resume in their district application system and thought they would like to interview me. They called me and said they wanted to interview me either this week or next and I explained that I am going to the West Coast from Wed-Wed. They immediately said, "Well, what about tomorrow?" 😮 I just hope this isn't a, "We know who we want but we have to fill our quota of interviewing at least 3 people first" type of thing. High School, larger district, pays better, better hours, closer to home. So, here is hoping.....
  30. 23 points
    In this case, Garga, I think that saying over and over again that they wanted their kids to move out, couldn't wait for them to leave is the symptom of the dysfunction, not the cause. It's not so much that they said it, it's that they meant it. Even if they hadn't said it, the kids would've known
  31. 23 points
    Chiming in here to say. Thinking that teens literally are not able to make good decisions is a very sad view of teens. Of course teens can make good decisions and make them all the time. And of course they make bad decisions. My middle-aged self still makes bad decisions from time to time. Do teens have the capacity to always see the big picture of things? No. That's why they still need parents. But I think that parenting teens needs to become less top-down authoritarian and more side-by-side mentoring. I would not freak out. I would talk to the teen. Maybe over some froyo (our go-to for talks that are not confrontational). I would ask questions. A lot of them. Without judgment. Some of those questions would be related to why the teen wanted the phone and if some restrictions need to be relaxed a bit. My reaction to whether they wanted the phone for the opportunity to communicate (innocently) with friends would be a lot different than if they wanted the phone for clandestine meet-ups with someone they met on Tinder. Once I had all the information then I would ask the teen for suggestions on how to handle the situation. As in I would listen to their solutions and their negotiations while still reserving the right to make decisions because as a parent hopefully I am looking at the big picture and not the small picture of "Oh My Gosh - my kids are going to be sexting and get up to no good!" I mean that as a default reaction, not as a part of an informed picture of some of the pitfalls of unlimited cell phone access. My young adults have needed some freedom to learn how to make good decisions.
  32. 23 points
    I believe (and hope) we have the same judge. And I do worry he will have a complete tantrum. This is the guy who showed up at my attorney's office and wouldn't leave until they threatened to call 911. I live with my sister and two very strong, very tall and military trained nephews, so he can come there at his own peril haha. Dang it woman, you made me cry! 🙂 To all of you that have supported me through this, I cannot thank you enough. You have saved me a lot of my mental sanity, kept me grounded when my STBX was trying to tell me black was white, and probably saved me thousands on therapists! Sometimes I will be spinning around and around in my head, and someone will respond with something insightful, or calm, or just plain good old advice and I breath easier. I wish I could invite you all to the huge divorce party blowout that I am planning!
  33. 23 points
    He seems a classic narcissistic p. d. Time for some CBT for you. Repeat after me: "I am safe. I have built a successful new life that I am enjoying. He cannot hurt me any longer." Wishing you well for your day in court.
  34. 23 points
    I truly think military service needs to be far down the list of options, if it even makes the list at all. There are too many red flags out for me to believe that military service is a good option in the near future. This young man needs psychiatric assessment and help and basic training is not an appropriate place for such a person. I know people think that a life in the military has the potential to “turn a life around,” and I’m sure there are situations where that is true. However, keep in mind that military training & service is emotionally and physically taxing for the healthiest of people. It very well could cause someone a lot of problems if they do not go into it from a position of physical and mental health & stability. Additionally, the purpose of the military is to protect our nation, not to act as a therapeutic environment for troubled youth. They simply are not equipped to do that.
  35. 23 points
    So he spent a year in bed after getting expelled from school, and multiple therapists told you he isn't depressed because he has high self-esteem??? You need to get new therapists, ASAP. A person's level of self-esteem has nothing to do with being depressed. I don't mean this in a snarky way, but were these religious counselors who have only had training through a religious program? If so you need to find an actual psychiatrist. And in the meantime, I'd try to get him admitted to an in-patient treatment program if at all humanly possible.
  36. 23 points
    Lots of hugs. I am so so sorry. Based on what you've said and what I've seen in family I would call a lawyer and have her on stand-by. I'd also have an emergency psych eval. A good kid who has taken such a drastic turn has something going on. Also, try to get some money together for bail, if he gets arrested. If he does get arrested, if I could, I'd take him from holding to a psych ER as soon as I bailed him out. Adding this: keep your cell phone on you at all times, as well as a house phone if you have one. put a cell phone inside a bedroom that locks and instruct the younger kids to run in there and lock the door if Brother starts anything... screaming (at you, at them, anything that scares them.) Tell them they have permission to call 911 if they are afraid and they wouldn't get in trouble, you won't be mad, etc. I keep thinking of things: If you have a pet that might try to be protective in a scuffle or get hurt in a scuffle (hurt by getting underfoot), or that you think might be a target of an outburst, consider boarding it or having it stay with a friend
  37. 22 points
    Gently, you must put your needs above theirs. I understand fully this is easier said than done, but this is the long haul. From the sounds of it, you’re going to be caring for them the rest of your life unless/until they go into residential care. You are not going to be able to do this unless you find a way to take care of yourself and get help with their needs. With that level of adaptive functioning, they may qualify for overnight/weekend respite at a group home. What about case coordinator, nursing home waivers, a family advocate? Services are a struggle to get(going on almost two years of fighting to get services here and no end in sight), but they are out there. Simply, you can’t do this until you’re 85, and you won’t be able to care for them long term at all unless you start caring for your own needs.
  38. 22 points
    First update stems from my post about DD23 and her BF. Not only did he tell his parents, but apparently they surprised him and were very happy, plus, they invited her to dinner tomorrow night. DD23 is over the moon thrilled. For Disney fans, you know that line from Frozen..."Don't know if I'm elated or gassy...but I'm somewhere in that zone!" Yep, that's where DD is right now. She plans to call me tomorrow as soon as the dinner is over. She is also thinking that maybe....he really was just way more freaked out than was potentially warranted. I will keep folks here updated. I also want to say....even presuming this goes well....that doesn't really mean rings or dates will be coming soon. All it really means is that discussions will still proceed. Even so, I hope it goes really well tomorrow. Second update, unrelated, but kind of a funny. Earlier this week I talked about DH and his "issues" with how the house is kept and his terrible timing. Well, discussions, very mild ones were had... Today is Saturday. Most Saturdays go down like this: I wake up between 6:30 and 7:30am, naturally. I finish the grocery list, get dressed, etc. There could be some dishes or laundry done, or perhaps some kid management if they wake up early. I am usually leaving between 8:30 and 9am. Most of the time, kids are just waking up either just before or within the timeframe that I head out. Depending on the shopping trip, I am usually home sometime between noon and 2. And during that time I am gone, the person I live with usually watches fishing shows on YouTube, gets the 6yr old out of his Goodnight and into some clothes, and usually makes some nuggets for the kids to eat...pours some milk, etc. Once I get home, he hollars from his seat for the kids to get their shoes or clothes to get the groceries unloaded, then asks what's for lunch. Today I had a scout thing with DD10. I went shopping after. When I got home, everyone was dressed. And....had eaten. AND........he told the kids to unload AS HE WAS PUTTING ON HIS SHOES. Then...............after they were unloaded, I went potty and...........................................he started putting them away?!?!?!?!?!? Without being asked. And he asked where things went if he didn't know (instead of doing something like putting refrigerated stuff in the pantry.) Oh...oh...............AND......he asked about the trash pick up schedule for the holiday weekend!?!?!?!?!?!? Trash pick up day is the fact that he thought to ask about the holiday schedule made me do a double take. Sometimes............boys are dumb. And sometimes, they can be taught lol
  39. 22 points
    May is ALS Awareness month. Doing my part. 😉
  40. 22 points
    I've been planning our trip to Nashville to celebrate dd's 20th birthday since January. I called the BB café to find out the process. Even though it's listed on their website I wanted to talk to a live person. We'll among hundreds and possibly low thousands we were selected (randomly chosen). We "upped" our chances by using 3 computers: DD's computer, my computer and my tablet. My computer won out. Anyway, she gets to go to BB café tonight - her 20th birthday! We'll enjoy it! And, last night we went to GOO (Grand Ole Opry). Liked many, many of the performers including Brett Young, Devin Dawson and others! I had no idea it was a live broadcast of the show. They still do this! We've discovered we REALLY like Nashville! Went to Green Hills Grille Friday night. It was fantastic. I ordered the lemon artichoke chicken with mashed potatoes and broccoli. One of the best meals out I've enjoyed!
  41. 22 points
    Update for anyone still following this seemingly never ending saga: Their realtor told my realtor today that they are getting everything together and will need a couple of days and then plan to make an offer. They are a multi-generational family, so they may be pooling funds or getting 96 year old grandma's bank bonds or something! Stay tuned.
  42. 22 points
    If sin and pot turned teenagers into violent sociopaths, we never would have survived the nineties. Tough love is going to do exactly jack shit if this boy has a mental illness or personality disorder. In all probability he needs inpatient treatment, meds, and specialized therapy.
  43. 22 points
    Please, please do not encourage him to try to enlist. Basic training is psychologically difficult for a stable person, never mind someone with the symptoms your DS is exhibiting. The military can teach a lazy person how to have more self-discipline, but it CANNOT cure or treat mental illness. I don't know why so many people think it can do that. When I was in basic training, one of the guys I was training with snapped and attacked a drill sergeant. Thank god it happened in the first phase and not when we were doing rifle training. During AIT they had a special mattress near the main stairwell where they could keep an eye on the soldiers who were suicidal. There was at least one every day. Your son needs to work with mental health professionals. Drill sergeants are not mental health professionals. ETA: I should clarify that I'm bringing up the mattress thing not to tell you that they have a lot of experience dealing with mental illness, but to say LOOK HOW WELL THEY DON'T HANDLE IT. Suicidal? Spend the night on the special suicide mattress where a couple of exhausted teenagers on fire watch can make sure you don't kill yourself when they aren't mopping. It's horrifying.
  44. 22 points
    I don't know... I don't think I'd be steering this kid towards ANYTHING that puts a gun (or any other weapon) into his hands. Just saying ......
  45. 21 points
    MRI and CT scan tomorrow. Would appreciate prayers and positive thoughts. Had my 6th round of THCP chemo on Tuesday. I opt not to have a port so all 6 was through IV. Next up is MRI, CT scan, Ultrasound mammogram, pre-surgery appointment, surgery then tentatively a year of Herceptin. ETA: Both the recent echocardiogram and the first echocardiogram three months were okay. Next echocardiogram in three months time.
  46. 21 points
    We are having new flooring installed so it is a good opportunity to sort through stuff as it all has to be moved and then put back anyway. I had decided that there was no reason to hold onto all the yarn and knitting/crocheting accessories since it had been about 15 years since anyone in the household had tried this hobby. I had not yet mentioned this to the family and I had not pulled it out to discard it. A few days ago, both DDs started knitting/crocheting projects out of the blue! Argh. I'm doomed to live with clutter.
  47. 21 points
    Thank you. I needed that reassurance today that it’s ok to feel this way. i have to remind myself that this is my problem...DS is perfectly happy. He’s talked to his therapist about being locked in the bathroom, and she doesn’t feel there’s any residual trauma. He’s just as happy being homeschooled as anything. He’s happy just being himself. He’s aware of autism(his aunt, cousin and grandfather are autistic as well on varying places on the spectrum) and aware that he shares it with his family members . DS9 wouldn’t change himself, and if truth be known, I wouldn’t either. some days I just wish life could be a little easier for all of us.
  48. 21 points
    You just learn not to talk politics and get good at smiling and nodding. People are generally nice and normal across the political spectrum and there is much to commend many places, even if you don’t fly a rainbow flag in your yard or march with the local crisis pregnancy center. Bringing political views into daily discussions tends to polarize unnecessarily, where everyone would act pretty civilly and find a lot to enjoy about one another with that factored out. Honestly, at this point in life I don’t air my opinions even in company I’m pretty sure agrees with me. Because you never know who is listening in, and it’s just unnecessary to pontificate on polarizing topics in 95% of situations. Button up your lips and smile while changing the subject - it’s never a foolish choice.
  49. 21 points
    What a crock... In my little hometown within a 2 mile radius and same zip code there were immigrants right off the boat living multiple families in one rental unit....there were average middle class workers ....and less than 1/2 mile away multi-million dollar homes of mostly business owners who owned large multi-generational businesses. At my PRIVATE high school my mom who was a legal immigrant from Brazil who came here at 14, dropped out of high school, but worked hard and got her GED, had the misfortune of realizing she married a total lunatic, got herself together and earned an associates in accounting, worked her way up numerous payroll and accounting jobs while trying to keep three kids and a crazy ex husband all situated (hint: it was not a good scene)... How would I be ranked? Privileged? because my zip code is in the same zip as the multi million dollar homes? Or privileged because I went to a private high school? (because my mom made every sacrifice and I earned a 75% scholarship by winning the diocese catholic scholarship exam?) My mom and I together earned that spot in that school, and I was not and she was not privileged. This is so ridiculous.... I . Can't. even. Students have to be judged based on their record as STUDENTS and if they want to tell about their hardships add an extra hardship essay, not another false societal judgement that is not based on facts.
  50. 20 points
    My dd2 is the one I've always said could "rule the world" if she wanted to. She's charismatic, smart as a whip, sharp as a tack, and the kindest person I know (which is why she never will actually rule the world... but that's a whole other post...) Kids 1 and 3 are natural-born test-takers. DD2 struggles mightily because she can "make an argument" for pretty much anything on the test paper. She's spent over a year working to re-train her brain to be decisive and has taken the ACT twice so far. First time was a Very Respectable score and we were all VERY pleased with her improvement from earlier practice tests. Second time was a Very, Very Good Score by anyone's standards and we danced around the house in celebration at how far she'd come. Third time (in June), she is hoping will conquer that last top-tier and we can all faint with happiness. While updating her college spreadsheet, however, I have noticed that at the universities she is looking at (the ones that aren't strictly conservatories), she has qualified for some hefty automatic scholarships at those universities with her CURRENT ACT score! Full tuition at some and others have competitive scholarships and amazing programs that she qualifies to apply for!!!! (and with her Very Impressive Resume and excellent interviewee skills, she sure has a strong shot at them! I'd just always assumed that her ACT score would hold her back & hadn't spent much time investigating, but when her ACT Score rose on up there, I didn't look into how that changed things until now!!!) I was already super proud of her and super happy of her progress and hard work. But, when she learns that she's qualified for some hefty automatic scholarships, she is going to be over the moon!!!! At least two of the schools WILL STACK academic and music scholarships too, which makes them VERY intriguing & I think they will move right up on dd's list!!! (The music schools themselves aren't super-prestigious, but the professors there for her instrument ARE well-known and have connections out the wazoo... so could be a good fit) It is the BEST life experience to see a kid who has worked SO HARD at certain things overcome those hurdles and receive rewards for conquering those VERY challenges!!!
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