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Showing content with the highest reputation since 11/10/2019 in Posts

  1. 54 points
    Are you homeschooling or b&m schooling? I'll tell you my story and you can take it fwiw. Honestly, the "good time to fail" around 6th grade is the exact thing the PS told all of us parents and I can tell you that they were dead wrong. 6th graders are still very much children with a ton of other brain fog going on thanks to hormones. They aren't mini adults, or mini high schoolers. They told us if we didn't let them fail that they'd never be able to handle high school, much less college. It was so ridiculous in hindsight. Had I known then what i know now I would have taken the Failure Speaker to task on the spot. But we all sat around and let our kids fail because the school told us that's what we were supposed to do as good parents. Do you know what failure tends to do to 6th graders? It tends to roll into despair and apathy. Not, "let me pull myself up by my bootstraps and show them they're wrong! I'm not a failure!"(And that's NT kids that aren't dealing with ADHD on top of it.) In my experience, if you have a 6th grader who is failing school projects it means you aren't providing enough scaffolding. I'm not saying they don't need to take responsibility for some things, but a kid who is failing despite scaffolding clearly doesn't have enough of it. Yanking more away isn't going to solve anything.
  2. 28 points
    this Thanksgiving if my sil says she is going to bring her dressing. There is no way I'm going to serve that mushy, sluicey, gooey goop this year. Last year son in law could barely stand the smell of it on the table. It's nasty, got oysters in it. Her mother made it too. Enough years of this. It reminds me of cat hairballs. "No, thanks but someone has already asked to make the dressing this year." I guess it won't really be a lie because I'm asking to make it myself!!!
  3. 22 points
    Your DD might be able to finish last minute and get an awesome grade. Many very smart kids are able to do this. Many kids who enjoy a "rush" or who are thrill-seeking are able to do this. Now imagine a very smart, thrill-seeking kid who does this...what does he learn? It'll be OK to wait, and I'll still get a good grade and it feels GOOD to rush-rush-rush at the last minute. IMO, it is as dangerous as failing, but in different ways.
  4. 13 points
    I had a former principal who was a retired Marine Boot camp sergeant, and I think I learned more about structuring a classroom for success and breaking down skills into little steps and teaching and reinforcing at each step from him than any education class or workshop I'd ever done. This was in a very, very rough inner city school-the kind where drug dealers usually didn't do deals on the school grounds, but the playground at the park across the street was fair game. The first morning, he started out with the entire school in the cafeteria, and taught the kids, step by step, how to line up and walk in the halls. And he drilled it, and practiced it. The same happened when they came to the cafeteria, at dismissal. He expected papers to be headed the same way, and that we would actively teach and drill it. You were expected to teach HOW to put materials away and where they go, and practice and drill them. A lot of teachers felt it was a waste of time. But you know what? Teaching those skills, and having them be consistent through the school made a major difference. As the kids got older and added things like planners, or changing classrooms and getting materials from lockers, that was taught explicitly as well. And the expectation was that if someone in your unit was struggling, you helped them-so if you had the child with ADHD at your table who struggled to get their assignments in the planner, the other children were taught to step in and help and support and scaffold, but not do it for them-and that, in another setting, that child with ADHD would be the one helping, too. There were still kids who struggled more than others with EF skills, but overall, everyone improved because it WAS so consistent, and academics followed. He explained that in the Marines, they didn't expect anyone to come in with any specific skill "the Marine way", so they taught from scratch how to, say, make a bed, or shine your shoes, or run a mile "the Marine way". There was no censure for NOT knowing how to do it "the Marine way" before it was taught, but once it was taught, it was expected and NOT allowed to slide. He felt the same was true with kids in a school situation. They didn't know how to do it the school way, so teach them "the school way" and expect it, and reinforce it. Because not everyone will be able to do a page of multiplication correctly. But almost everyone can take out their math book and math notebook and put them on their desk along with a pencil when prompted after they've practiced it a few times. And then you practice turning to the correct page. And practice opening your notebook and copying the page number. And then practice where to place and copy each problem, and how to line up numbers within the problem. All those steps before you even START to teach the math and do the math. And when the page is organized and everything makes sense and everyone is looking at the numbers, at least you know which children truly are struggling with the math, and can work with them where they are there. And, when every teacher in the building is consistent, it is far easier for the kids when they change classes during the day, or change grade levels. Also to add-this was the same school where all teachers were trained in Slingerland, that got a lot of kids because they were struggling in reading. I have a child now a couple of days a week, and she's under a lot of stress. Her EF skills, and her academic skills, have basically flown out the window (like she would sit looking at a 2nd grade level math problem and literally be unable to begin, despite testing on grade level as a 6th grader a year and a half ago). But, if I break down and teach those specific steps for a task, and teach it "this is the way that you do it here", without any expectation that she knows how to do it "my way" or censure for not doing it "my way", and recognize that each little step IS a step in and of itself and that she needs those steps, it seems to unlock the rest of the skill that she already had, but was so emotionally stressed and shut down to be unable to initiate. So, while I can provide a lot of love and support and encouragement, in many ways I also need to provide boot camp.
  5. 12 points
    I want to add a more positive note (been feeling down and I know it shows)-- For several years, we collected our displayed Christmas cards after the holidays and put them in a basket on tbe table. At dinner, we pulled one and added a quick prayer for that family/person during grace.
  6. 11 points
    Ds9 wrote an essay about snakes:
  7. 11 points
    I've been contemplating the original statement about sixth grade being a good (or maybe better than other options) time to fail. In the sense that grades at that time won't affect high school transcripts, that part is true. I suppose in theory that lessons learned at that time could be applied to positive effect in high school classes. That said, sixth grade is also a time when adolescence is going into full swing. I say proceed with great caution as to the nature of the failure being allowed. ADD in girls seems to often go along with anxiety and depression, and I can't say I've seen too many, if any, that really thrived from these tough love lessons, including one of my own former sixth grade daughters. A lot of ADD kids have the experience of being called lazy/disorganized/difficult, and it is easy to internalize that message. I think the outcome can be better if the child has solid professional guidance as far as coping mechanisms. That sort of excellent guidance is tough to come by though. In hindsight, I wish I had provided a lot more structure and guidance, not less, for my ADD kid. I also realize now, having raised three daughters into and past the teen years, that sometimes you have to provide help even when they protest. It IS a fine line though between providing appropriate help and being an overbearing parent. I'm not sure we figure out which side of that line we are on until we are looking back on the parenting years 🙂 I'm laughing about Fuzzy's comment about the parents on university-specific boards. I do feel pretty laid back in the face of what appears to be some serious helicoptering there. One woman upset when a spider showed up in her daughter's room, someone else wanting to get laundry service for the kids. Then there are people who call me controlling. All a matter of perspective, I guess. 🙂
  8. 11 points
    Y’all have convinced me. I’m sending them out. I am going to cut down on some of them who never send or who never give feedback indicating it matters to them. But probably still around 50. Part of it is that I know if I give up, I am essentially agreeing to never have Christmas cards anymore, even if it would take a couple of years for it to come to that. I simply do not wish to hasten the coming of Christmas card extinction.
  9. 11 points
    Good morning! I'm in bed pretending to be sleeping until the kids race in at 7:00 for the traditional Birthday Morning Tackle. Today I am 50 years old! Coffee!
  10. 10 points
  11. 10 points
    Yes, I'm this way too. My ADD kid in college has me copied on all incoming email. I delete probably 95% of it unread, but there are things I will follow up on. ("Did you see that email about summer internships? Jump on that!") If I see a mandatory meeting announcement and don't see it show up on the shared family calendar, I send a quick reminder. I am sure to remind to pick up disability letters for college professors and ask if that was taken care of. The good thing is that as this child matures, I have to do that less and less. It's not going to be a forever thing. Now, when he's had jobs, I never got involved in that. But that was lower stakes, getting fired from a summer job is not on the same plane as possibly failing a class or missing out on a great opportunity related to future career.
  12. 10 points
    The first post reminds me of high school. In first year French the teacher was getting angry that no one could translate what was written on the board. Finally someone had the nerve to say "I think that might be German." Oops!
  13. 10 points
    I've been mulling this over the past few days to see if I am in fact being privileged. I don't *think* I am. I recognize the hard realities of working parents trying to figure out childcare. I live in a very rural area where there are no other options except paying someone to babysit your kids in their home. And in fact for most of my 20 years as a SAHM I've been one of those babysitters and been told more than once that me being available as a safe place to send their kids is an answer to prayer. I realize that me being a SAHM with one income seems like a luxury to many who are not in the same position. Maybe it is, now that DH has worked his butt off for 20 years at 65+ hours a week and moved up the ladder and makes a good income. But it wasn't always that way. There were many, many years where living on one income was a huge financial sacrifice, but we did it anyway and lived on a shoestring and robbed Peter to pay Paul because that was the vision of the life we wanted to build with me at home with the kids. Other people have a different vision of the life they want to build, and that's ok. Variety is good! But IME, being a SAHM is not a luxury, it's a choice with consequences, just like any other. And all of the above has very little to do with the fact that I am deeply disturbed at the thought of it becoming normalized for children to spend 10+ hours a day in an institutional setting provided by the government.
  14. 10 points
    Dd had her first black belt test today and did amazing. You could see she was extremely nervous/anxious at the beginning but she got right into it quickly.
  15. 9 points
    Morning. I poured syrup in my tea this morning instead of honey. I hope that's not a sign of how this day is going to go. Dh was making pancakes while I was making my tea.
  16. 9 points
    So, a few follow ups. I did have the conversation about procrastination / sleep and it was so enlightening that I'm so so so so glad I kept my mouth shut for once. So, first of all, she had already prepared her entire script in PPT in Spanish before she started filming. I don't know if the teacher scaffolded this, but I was really pleased with that. I talked to her about losing sleep, and she admitted that it would have been better to finish earlier, but that the only way that would have worked was on the weekend, and she didn't remember it on the weekend. I told her that if I were in her shoes, I probably would have chosen something simpler that didn't need to "prove" for 2 hours. She had an absolutely brilliant response. First, she said that she wanted something that matched the Dia de los Muertos theme of the class. Second, she said she got more points for having more complicated ingredients to translate. And third, she said that it didn't really matter what it tasted like because she just had to do the video, not actually bring in the food. It seemed to me these were all very wise choices in retrospect. With respect to putting the videos together into iMovie, frankly, she probably could have done it on the bus ride. I don't love that because she gets motion sick, but I was floored at how quickly she was able to do that. Clearly I'm an old fart who is slow at technology. I keep checking for a grade, or trying to find the grading rubric, and I haven't been able to find it. She has had trouble turning it in because of technology, and I've been reminding her to follow up on that daily, but I usually can still find the assignment on my end. So it's weird that I can't. We usually do our planning / calendaring discussions on Sundays, but I'm realizing that with some of these more complicated projects, we need to do them on Saturday mornings so that we have a chance to work on the weekend if needed. Long story short, in this instance, I learned far more than she did, likely. I hope she gets an A (assuming what she's telling me about the grading rubric is true). I feel like my parenting wins are so few and far between, and I so often over-talk and over-lecture instead of just taking a step back and seeing where it leads me. I told her I was so proud of her. She showed me the video fully edited and it was absolutely adorable. She had some scenes of time-lapse, and she added sound over them, and was just generally brilliant. She got her middle sister to help, and even the 5 year old's hand waiving an American flag (because..why not?) appeared in the background and made us all laugh.
  17. 9 points
    Well crap, I lost a whole long rant, LOL. Short version is that the maids decided to come a day early and I am not happy about it! Our whole living room is Project Central for something we need to assemble tonight. I don't want to move it just for one day! Also the kids' rooms are trashed ... again. And I have a lot of deadline work to do today! I seriously hate that the maids come so often. If it wasn't insulting, I would just pay them to stay away half of the time! To make matters worse, they will probably come late (they usually do) and cut into the time we need to work on our AHG project, homework, etc! Grr.... Done: Kids up (early to finish homework) and off to the school bus on time (barely). Cleaned kitchen. Caught up with social media, news, emails. Texted with sister. First cup of coffee. To do: Work work work. I want to finish my 11/15 deadlines today due to being very busy tomorrow. AGH email(s). Clean for the maids, ugh!!! Kids' work - hopefully homework is at a minimum! AHG project work - planning, shopping, assembling, making signs and such. Whatever else gets done.
  18. 9 points
    This discussion reminds me of this essay on late bloomers by Malcolm Gladwell--though he was talking specifically about late-blooming genius. But I think that it has wider relevance, particularly this bit here: This is the final lesson of the late bloomer: his or her success is highly contingent on the efforts of others... We'd like to think that mundane matters like loyalty, steadfastness, and willingness to keep writing checks to support what looks like failure have nothing to do with something as rarefied as genius. But sometimes genius is anything but rarefied; sometimes it's just the thing that emerges after twenty years of working at your kitchen table.
  19. 9 points
    Also, in case you somehow didn't hear the shrieks of excitement, the rain turned to snow!
  20. 9 points
    We have SNOW! Real cover the grass, maybe an inch and a half on the deck, SNOW!
  21. 8 points
    That was a lot of ketchup. Congratulations on birthdays and belt tests and everything else. :) I missed y'all.
  22. 8 points
    I think you’ll enjoy him much more after boot camp. in the meantime, I’m finding that we’ve turned a corner at 17. I’m enjoying ds more than I have in years. Hang in there!
  23. 8 points
    I've told my kids It's my job to make them do things they don't want to do. 😜 they came to appreciate it. I was trying to get one woman's children to help clean her apartment, and they wanted no part of it. one of them threatened to go tell everyone at church how mean and terrible a person I was. "go ahead - my kids will agree with you." took the wind out of his sails . . . . he basically sat in his room and did nothing.
  24. 8 points
    I have to admit, this thread even makes me laugh a little. I feel like most of what is being discussed here is pretty basic level supports. Mostly checking in to make sure things are ok. My kid was texting non-stop those first weeks he was at college and it's much more hit and miss and mostly bantering now. I do want him to know we're on his team, we are here to help and if he needs some tools, direction or advice, so be it. That doesn't enter anywhere on the classroom side for him. Usually more like the occasional reminder, hey, don't forget that if you don't do X, Y will happen. I don't plan on doing it forever but I have parented long enough to know that you don't always know how things will evolve over time. My parents provided some over the top supports for a sibling of mine I can't ever imagine providing. It makes me laugh because I'm also on a parent board for my kid's school. You want to see helicoptering? We have parents complaining non stop and up in arms about not fast enough snow plowing, cold weather, their child not liking the dorm food, their child having a TA/prof that <gasp> speaks with a foreign accent and is hard to understand, their kid doesn't know how to meet people, roommate conflicts etc etc etc to the point where they are problem solving on the board for their child with a bunch of other parents and moderators. I can see having a conversation with your kid and troubleshooting with them about many of these things. Going on a parent board and demanding a group of parents stand up and go to administration to complain about something like foreign accents? Umm ... hard no. Send your kid to CC if you want a less "worldly" campus. The OP can do what she wants. Some people have just explained how and why they may have made a different choice. One size does not fit all. If your child lives or visits home regularly, most of these types of supports are just built into day to day conversation. If your young adult lives with you, that's a huge level of support by default.
  25. 8 points
  26. 8 points
    DS is a varsity athlete at a huge public university and has access to a multitude of free resources — none of which deal with EF issues. If you're a freshman football player struggling with a basic math class, you can go to the athlete "study table" 5 days a week and sit with a math tutor who will walk you through every problem, explain every mistake, show you which types of problems to focus on for tests, etc. But if you're an athlete who's been taking taking 300 & 400 level major courses since freshman year and getting the highest marks in the class, and you don't need help with course content or the kind of basic "study skills" tutors help with, you're SOL. DS's university even offers free "academic coaching," separate from tutoring, but when he explicitly asked for help with EF issues he was told "we don't do that." He asked the Disability Office for help with the same tasks (which his documentation clearly shows he needs), and got the same answer: "We don't do that." He has no problem advocating for himself and asking for help — his current problem is that there are no supports for someone with EF issues there. He uses me for support because right now its his only option. Sure I'll be dead some day, but hopefully by then he'll be older and more experienced, he'll need less support, he'll (hopefully) have a supportive spouse or partner, and a career that capitalizes on his many strengths and mitigates some of his weaknesses. Also, the idea that a student with EF issues who can't manage college without some level of support will never be able to manage a job is BS. I've never had a job that involved having 5 or 6 different bosses at once, all of whom were replaced every four months by 5 new bosses, all of whom had totally different schedules, different ways of doing things, different management styles, different expectations, totally different ways of organizing their material, etc., and none of whom coordinated with each other in any way. And then add in a totally separate "job" (varsity sports) that involves lots of travel and tons of scheduling conflicts with other parts of the job.
  27. 8 points
    re pain that's too hard for friends and family to hold ((Chris)) and ((Danielle)). Yes, this is a thing that happens. I am so sorry, and so hope you found your way back to the people whose support you deserved... or found new people whose support you have. This is breathtakingly beautiful and life-affirming and filled with grace. This thread is making me re-think how important physical manifestations of caring (in contrast to electronica) are to the soul. I've always *liked* cards but some of these posts are stepping up my appreciation considerably.
  28. 8 points
    The offensive lineman tackled me right as I woke up this morning, with his annoying mosquito buzz of where I am failing. Swatted him away forthwith since there was nothing I could do about that particular thing right that moment! Ugh. Hate waking up like that! Today: *make gluten-free double chocolate muffins X *take dd to her event this morning X *do some writing (might complete this novel yet!) *business meeting this afternoon *most likely taking ds to youth group tonight, unless dh gets home in time to do so. X (I can check it off because dh said he'll do it!)
  29. 8 points
    Eating. Cooking and baking good things to eat. Thinking of wonderful ideas, whether or not they are actually followed through... I need to get back to doing this. I used to bake every time I was upset. There was a summer and fall I was baking ALL the time. Dh thought it was about him, and my love for baking. Well, it was about him, but not in the way he thought... Let him know that if he plays violin, he will have to keep his nails trimmed. I have not read all the things.
  30. 8 points
    I don't see a bunch of people defending a two hour day. I'm one of only a couple who have said something about limited academic time for our specific kids. My kids aren't graduated yet, I'm not even half way through high school with my oldest, and I only know what we have done so far. When my kids were young and I read all the books I envisioned a very academic homeschool. As time has gone on, I have adjusted every year to the kids that I have, not the imaginary kids in my head. And the kids I have are not neurotypical. They don't have the gene set to be neurotypical. Education, to me, is the development of the complete person, not just the intellectual person. For many of my kids the intellectual stuff comes fairly easily. For all of my kids there are serious struggles to achieve success in the social and emotional domains. Guys, all the academic success in the world isn't going to help a person succeed in life if they are paralyzed by anxiety. Chemistry and physics and Shakespeare aren't going to prevent depression. Calculus isn't going to teach them to talk to people. If I limit the time we focus on academics I do so very intentionally in favor of time spent on music and theater and dance and martial arts because these things have proven to have significant benefits to my kids. Not to mention juggling stuff like speech therapy for four of them. There is only so much time in a day, our energy can't go everywhere. And kids need downtime as much as they need anything else. I focus the majority of our time where I see the greatest need and the most benefit to my children. They have a lifetime to continue gaining academic skills and knowledge. The brain building that goes on during adolescence though will establish long term patterns; if I have the ability to influence healthier development through physical activity and social engagement I need to take advantage of that. There is unfortunately very little research on a pro-active approach to establishing mental and emotional health. I'm moving forward with what research I can find and with my personal observations of what seems to be working or not working. I can give a more informed report in twenty years, but for now I am comfortable with an educational focus not centered on academics. As far as academics go, math has always been the one subject I try not to shortchange because it builds so much on itself and needs to be learned incrementally over time. Foreign language I started when my kids were young, they have extra time. They tend to be bookworms so I do not have to encourage reading; my dyslexic child spent years listening to audiobooks before her reading skills finally caught up. Dysgraphia has been a harder challenge, we're still working on that. Science at a college level and beyond is largely dependent on math skills, high school for most kids is more about exposure and I am comfortable primarily focusing on math. I'm fine with social studies being primarily exposure level. I have no idea how I am going to teach my fourteen year old how to write essays and research papers, I'm hoping an online or in person class will do because he shuts down if I try to teach him but does sometimes respond well to external teachers. I have a co-op in mind for next year that focuses on reading and writing and discussion. Do I think all this somehow adds up to an ideal education? No. Would it be a good education for an average child, whatever that means? Probably not. Is it an education that will benefit my specific children? I absolutely hope so!
  31. 8 points
    One of my kids would not receive a regular diploma in our current state, because this state has chosen to have different levels of degrees for students who do not meet a minimal standard. In (most) other states, he would receive a regular diploma, because they choose to let some students not meet that standard who have special needs of some kind. So I think that is a pretty specific category of kids, but it is also a category that is represented on this forum. But I honestly do not believe those are the kids whose parents are looking to do the bare minimum and not interact with their kids. I think these are two really distinct things and shouldn't get confused with each other. There is a big difference between taking a different path with a lot of thought and intention and looking at what is best and most realistic ------ and just looking for the bare minimum or whatever will be the least work/involvement (especially when it is involvement!!!!) from the parents.
  32. 8 points
    My siggy, as promised: Reader (dd9) - MFW ECC; Singapore Math and Beast Academy; WWE/FLL/SSS; Spanish & art all willy-nilly Runner (ds8) - MFW ECC; Singapore Math and Beast Academy; WWE/FLL/SSS; Spanish & art all willy-nilly SuperDude (ds6) - MFW K (extended) & ECC tag-along; Singapore Math; lots and lots of read-alouds; OPGTR Squishy (ds3) - lots and lots of read-alouds; too many episodes of Magic School Bus and Wild Kratts Baby Cheeto (due 12/12/19) - soccer "It isn't where you came from. It's where you're going that counts." - Ella Fitzgerald "This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy, and that hard." - Neil Gaimon
  33. 8 points
    Apparently he meant not a rain bath (shower). I think he was showing me all of the places the water was supposed to be.
  34. 7 points
    Well sure! You've got the entire ITT along with access to the vast ITT staff, so access should be no problem at all! Bruce is usually available to deliver various DVDs by stealth 'copter.
  35. 7 points
    So hypothetically speaking, if you wanted to order a curriculum that usually comes with dvd/video access but you found reviews on WTM that said that you really don't need the DVD/video access and your kid absolutely HATES DVD/video programs (odd since he's definitely visual) and it cost twice as much to get it with the DVD/video access, would you check off the little box that says you have access to the DVD/videos so you could order just the workbook? Hypothetically speaking if I searched far and long enough, I probably could find someone with access that would show it to me.
  36. 7 points
    Maybe she is, but I've never thought to reverse image search her and find her facebook. :)
  37. 7 points
    I've read bits and pieces of this thread. The one thing I feel I have to contribute is that none of us is going to be a perfect parent. Maybe we will assist too much at some point where a child would have been better off figuring a thing out on their own. Maybe we will fail to offer assistance someplace the child really needed it. We don't have a crystal ball to see all the future implications of every decision. Most of the time, kids are going to overcome whatever stumbles happen because of our imperfect parenting. Sometimes, maybe many times, there never was a perfect option.
  38. 7 points
    And probably 80% of this thread is general comments on the topic of EF dysfunction and/or responses to people other than the OP. Threads take on a life of their own and meander far and wide. It's not like this whole thread is one long harangue at the OP.
  39. 7 points
    It was all too short! However, having milk in my coffee this morning was truly a Godsend! I've started the laundry Dealt with two boxes of Christmas presents: a calendar (and vitamins) and a LC pan for ds and his fiancee. I have a package that was damaged in transit--does Amazon automatically resend or do I have to reorder. It got as far as Denver looks like. ah, found it on the website--I have to reorder. Grrr... Thought of a present for Navy girl and passed on the idea to siblings talked to dd need to mail letters walk write kids, as always finished the world's most BORING book--it will be a relief to take it to the library. If you ever have trouble sleeping, break out The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America by Iserbyte figure out dinner calm middle dd down as she's all hot and bothered by an article in the paper. rejoice that a woman got 24 years for killing her brother--well, burying his body in their manure pile. Glad this drama is DONE! Her mother just passed away.
  40. 7 points
    I hope it works, I love your post. I think part of what bothered me about that thread was that I like a lot of the people posting and I felt they were being very judgmental and harsh about people's choices. I was surprised to see it from some of them.
  41. 7 points
    From a purely commercial standpoint, he has as much credibility and influence in the black community as POTUS. So, yeah...follow your crowd. This is the prevailing sentiment.
  42. 7 points
    I’m sitting in the schoolroom thinking, “ Why am I so cold?” I go check the thermostat. It’s set to 68 AC!!! Apparently one of the kids was hot and turned it on. SIGH! I think my kids are so used to being hot that any feeling of heat like from the heating being on makes them feel like they are roasting.
  43. 7 points
    I will take this one on as my shorter post might have been interpreted that way. I think that we as high school educators need to evaluate each of our children as individuals and ask what they need to move to the next level. Sometimes a kid needs external requirements to learn independence, sometimes a kid needs deep time-consuming discussions about literature, sometimes a kid needs detailed careful commentary about their work, and sometimes a kid needs more freedom to find their own path. Each choice we make should be made for a reason, and although occasionally that reason can be easy for parent or get-it-done course for a child, that should NOT be the overriding approach of a rigorous homeschool highschool program. Some examples: My older boy needed outside math courses as he got to a higher and higher level, so we outsourced with AoPS and then later to the university. Outsourcing was wonderful for him and for me, because I just could NOT keep up with the speed of his learning. But when we found the courses were WAY too easy, he quit taking them. They taught him time management and meeting external requirements, but they also taught him that outsourcing for his best thing was a waste of time. At that point he needed to do courses on his own, and my role was to find 2 things 1) resources, and 2) people to answer his questions. I also had to do 2 more things to support this independent work 1) set a reasonable but flexible schedule, and 2) check up on his progress on a daily or alternating day basis. The Point of this example: every experience was chosen for a reason and then we adapted as he needed different things. We didn't say, oh well, the university courses are too easy, but that is the best we can do so we will make do. That might have been ok for something he didn't care so much about, but it was NOT ok for his best thing. Example 2: my younger boy has dysgraphia. There was no text-based or online that could have accomplished what I have accomplished through LONG diligent face-to-face work with him. 2 hours per day teaching, mentoring, struggling for years and years. Sure I could have said "oh, my boy has dysgraphia" and just accepted it. But through long persistent work, *together* we have dug him out of a deep hole that was impacting every aspect of his education. Have I gotten everything right? HELL NO. I have written about all my failures on the learning challenges board. But the point is that *I* am the educator, *I* make the choices. But the other thing to know is that because he works so hard on his *worst* thing, I let him take an easy-pass on other subjects. The goal is balance. For Literature, he is doing a survey of the different types of fantasy. Certainly not the War and Peace that my older boy was reading at this age. But for my younger boy, he needs to do something easy after doing all the hard work on writing. But here is the thing, I am *choosing*. I am not just letting marketing ploys of 'oh we can fix it' or 'oh, homeschooling is easy', or 'just buy this program and your kid can be independent.' What does he need that is NOT taught by me? He needs courses that drive him to succeed in things that don't require writing. Violin so that he can learn to meet other's expectations and know that it is not just his mother with high expectations, and drama because he needs to learn to talk in public, to be a leader, to work in a group. I choose to outsource for this child what he needs outsourced. He cannot write, so outsourcing courses with a written component would never work, but yet he still needs the experience of outsourcing because he tends to want to slide by. So for every kid there is a balance. Some stuff should be as challenging as they can handle, which clearly depends on the child. And some stuff should be easy so that a child can build independence and confidence. You use outsourcing to meet specific goals you have for your child. But the entire program must be planned holistically, and carefully adjusted as a child grows and learns. That is how you make a great education. Ruth in NZ
  44. 7 points
    I just wanted to encourage the moms like 8FilltheHeart and Lang Syne Boardie to stay here. I need you. We need you. Sometimes I need to hear from someone that I can do this thing. I know we are pursuing a level of rigor here that most of the people I "know" in homeschooling are not. That's okay with me, as long as I have a community which I can come to and ask questions. I have used texts and pursued studies with my kids that I never would have known about without this forum. We have been blessed by it. I truly need your encouragement.
  45. 7 points
    I was watching Magnum PI while waiting for our bedding to dry because Captain insisted on 'unders' then fell asleep on my bed. He had just gone potty beforehand, though!! 🎉 Let's see, oh yeah, we ate dinner before that and had family devotional time and put Captain to bed time. And I went to the K-8 Board and thought it would be a good idea to click on the now monster thread I started. Now I feel like a complete failure as a homeschooler. I'm at the part in Return of the King where Legolas takes down the mumakill oliphant. Go Green Dead Army Guys!! Theodin just bit it. And just why didn't Aragon send said Dead Army into Mordor first, I ask you?!
  46. 7 points
    The other day, I overheard my 12 year old patiently trying to explain Christmas to his younger brother, who joined our family on Dec 23rd last year. DS1: Your presents are surprises. You make a list but you don’t know what you’re getting until Christmas morning. DS2: Except DS3. He knows. DS1: No he doesn’t, how would he know? DS2: Dad told him. DS1: There’s no way, that makes no sense. Dad would never tell. DS2: I heard him. DS1: Wait, what did he say? DS2: He said “You are getting a lawnmower.” DS1: Oh, no Dad is not actually getting him a lawnmower. He just said that to tease DS3. (Note for years my DH has told my kids they are getting a lawnmower for Christmas every time they ask) DS2: Dad doesn’t lie. I can trust him. You told me that. He’s getting DS3 a lawnmower. DS1: You can trust him. Dad’s really honest. He tells the truth, except about lawnmowers and Christmas. Why would he get DS3 a lawnmower? DS3 isn’t even old enough to mow the lawn! DS2: You aren’t supposed to lie to your kids. DS1: Well no, but . . . The conversation went around in circles, eventually I jumped in and then the three of us went in circles. There just seemed to be no way that my son could make sense of this. So, now, apparently my kid thinks his father is a liar.
  47. 7 points
    Reaction options we need: Supportive hug Congratulations/confetti This! Eyeroll High Five Sorry I'm Late (but....) Quote to agree Quote to argue Quote to answer the question the person actually asked
  48. 7 points
    Yes! I want this! I admire your ability to teach so much! I would love the planning, but die in the doing, lol. Thank you for this - it's so true. Actually yes! It's supposed to start raining this evening and turn to snow during the night. We'll see! Thank you. I love hearing about your new job, but I know it has not been easy!!! I keep hearing that..... Bookie, thank you. (And about the last few years - that's not totally true and you certainly had a lot of help. Ahem.) But I love the snake analogy. I am a dry and scaly reptile! It fits!! lol. Seriously, it's a helpful thought. You guys are the best!
  49. 7 points
    I went through and mentally tallied the meals and I'm pretty sure tonight was night 6. It's fun getting creative with it. This is how I entertain myself.
  50. 7 points
    I would own every Sonlight and BFB package as well as every book on Ambleside's list. I would have memberships to the zoo, aquarium, Sea World, ropes courses, etc. Private music and language lessons.
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