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  2. MercyA

    So sad

    I am so sorry. My beloved cat (former stray) was killed outside by a predator at a young age, so I understand your pain and regret. We could not have him inside due to allergies but he had his own room in our garage. Obviously I have struggled with what I could have done or should have done to keep him safe but a couple things gave me comfort. One, I know that he loved, loved, loved his prowling and hunting outside. He lived life fully and how he wanted and on his terms. He had freedom but also knew that he was loved and cherished. Two, we did what we thought best at the time and that's all any of us can do. As MaBelle said, some cats don't tolerate being indoor only and maybe if your cat could have chosen for herself, she would have chosen her freedom even knowing the risk. Hugs to you and your kids, and bless you for giving her a good and loving home. ❤️
  3. I don't like declawing. I also don't like forcing a cat to be an outside only cat, especially in an intemperate area. Honestly, if those are the only two choices, I'm not sure having a cat is the best thing for you. There are things you can do: encourage scratching posts, kitty claw protectors, keeping claws trimmed. But, if it really boils down to one or another, I would declaw. But if you declaw, then the cat absolutely should never, ever go outside. We did declaw a cat, at around age seven, very reluctantly. She never had grasped how to retract her claws, and she would jump onto our laps with claws extended, slip, and scratch all the way down. Both my husband and I needed stitches several times from injuries she gave us completely inadvertently. I still have numerous scars from her. We loved her and just dealt with it until I had a baby. We knew we couldn't bring a newborn into a house with a cat who could cause that much damage. So, we found a vet who declawed and gave lots of pain meds afterwards. She was fine. But it's not always that way. My mother declawed her cat because she didn't want damage to furniture, and her cat began biting and peeing inappropriately. It's a real risk. Declawing is serious and I really think it should be done only when absolutely necessary, but it's better for a cat to be declawed than for a cat to be sent to a shelter or not have a home. But I'd really try other options first. Tape and sprays to discourage scratching of things that you don't want scratched, as well as lots of appropriate places to scratch. If that didn't work, I'd try the nail covers.
  4. I liked a lot of that book, but I disagree pretty strongly with the idea that people with ID don’t know or don’t mind when they are being disrespected. It does not match with my experience at all. I am often told that someone won’t notice or won’t mind something hurtful and it just an excuse to be treated as less than. Believe me that being treated as less than hurts.
  5. I think it’s different with warm water like this, actually. More likelihood of a challenged population, particularly with the accessibility ramp etc., and also more likelihood of germs surviving and thriving in the warmer water, although it is chlorinated. I’m not challenging whether people with disabilities are ‘part of our communities’, and I kind of resent that snarky implication. Rather, I am trying to flat out determine whether this is on the radar or not and whether there are preventative clothing measures that can be used at all with adults, which I am happy to hear that there are.
  6. Today
  7. I space my meals and do not eat snacks between meals in order to manage insulin response. A local grocery store puts out fruit-infused water for customers, and I love it! But before I drop something in my own water bottle, I’m wondering if the fruit for flavor would be enough to raise my blood sugar between meals. Any of you notice if/how it affects your sugar levels? I am not diabetic so I don’t have a glucose monitor on hand to test it. Just wondering what your experience with this might be like, or your thoughts about it. Thanks!
  8. Might I have an invite, too? I have a 19 1/2 year old dd. Thanks for this, fairfarmhand!
  9. Hits: IEW materials: SWI, Fix-It Grammar, and Linguistic Development Through Poetry Memorization. I bought a couple other items from there, but these are the ones we’ve used so far. MP Greek Alphabet— This has been a fun addition to our morning basket. We are all enjoying learning to write Greek letters. I will follow it with Elementary Greek. Our morning basket—this has been such a fun start to our morning! Our basket contents are in my signature. We haven’t used Grammar of Poetry yet, but everything else has been so fun! Misses: I really hate to say this, but MP’s cores are not working for us. I have too many kids to teach and far too much anxiety over school. I’m a single mom and need something “easier”. So we are going back to SCM’s history and literature tomorrow, along with some of their other resources. I need my kids combined as much as possible! I had wanted them more separated since I have high schoolers in the mix, but at the risk of my sanity, it’s just not worth it. 😢 We are keeping MP science and Latin. I’m so sad about dropping their history and Christian Studies, but it’s just too many moving parts for now. Math—I will be moving most of my kids back to MUS. Teaching math is also causing a lot of stress, and MUS seems to work well overall. One is staying with Rod and Staff since she really likes it and doesn’t need me to teach her very often. MP Kindergarten: I think I could make this work, but I’m really worried my son will dread school if we continue. Every minute is a struggle to get him to form letters correctly or focus. I keep thinking that if we were still doing CM methods, he wouldn’t be doing any formal school at this point. I may shelve this until 1st grade, because I do like the program overall.
  10. I am exhausted. My Baby exhausts me. She is absolutely the sweetest thing there ever was. I mean, she really is. But she doesn’t want to watch tv and so she follows me around and talks to me. And talks. And talks. And talks. And of course, I want to say, “don’t you want to go watch tv?” then I remember at tv isn’t good for kids and I remember all those poems and stuff about kids growing up fast and to cherish these moments, even if I am collapsed in a heap in the floor for lack of 5 minutes of silence.
  11. Yes, and frankly, keeping the kids distracted and busy is good. Soccer meets right after school, on the school playground, and he can walk home afterwards. It's hard to beat that!
  12. And it isn't sports in particular, but just that if he wants to spend any time with the kids on the weekend he's going to have the same issue.
  13. Trauma Release Exercises, like Peter Pan mentioned, might be worth trying. There’s a website that has practitioners who can teach you this. One session to learn the technique might be adequate enough for you to then go home and practice it. Any of your daily stresses or concerns will be rehashed in your sleep. That might also be waking you. Another idea is to look at your levels of copper and zinc. Many people have too much copper which might play a role in mental conditions like anxiety, depression, etc. Zinc is often too low. Supplementing with a lower dose, good quality zinc and b6 for a few months can help.
  14. I think DS3 learned that Dad values time with him, and values the things that DS3 loves. And that while he can't come every game, he'll prioritize it when he can. I think that if we set up the expectation that Dad comes every time, that would be unrealistic, although that was our reality up until this season. I can't remember Dad missing a game before this year. So far this year, he's missed one out of three games and after today will almost certainly miss the next three. So, it's not like my kid isn't getting to practice disappointment. I think you missed my post above where I said that my DH talked to our priest after Mass today, and the priest is 100% in agreement with our choice.
  15. So glad to hear you're enjoying the Pilates! I really love Pilates; really need to figure out a way to work it back in. It really has a lot in common with a lot that they do in PT. I'm jealous you got to do the reformer - I've never been able to afford those sessions. I only got to do one once where for some reason I was the only one who showed up for a mat class and the instructor said, hey, why don't you just get on the reformer... Holy bananas, those TRX exercises are intense! Cool your grip strength is getting better. So nice to hear about the bike ride - I'm getting excited to try out my newly tuned-up bike! Hopefully next weekend. And congrats on the weight loss! Amazing job on the punching. But sorry to hear you're under the weather! That is a lot of running! Good luck on your race (was that today?)
  16. I do a lot of wet/soupy food over rice in a thermos. I make batches of foods that I like and the rest of the family doesn't like (lunch at work is my chance to eat the beans and legumes that they won't touch!). I cook a batch of lentil curry, or spicy black bean soup, beef and lentil stew, pea soup etc. Usually in the instant pot, sometimes in the slow-cooker. Portion into silicone muffin pans and freeze. When frozen, pop the food "pucks" out into a gallon zip lock and store in the freezer. In the morning I take out a puck of whatever I fancy that day and warm up in the microwave. Put into thermos over hot rice (there is always hot rice ready in out rice cooker). I find soupy, saucy, wet foods work well in a thermos. Foods that are dry get cold too fast. ETA - I use the puck system for pretty much any home made wet frozen food - chicken stock, apple sauce etc. I like being able to thaw just as much as I need.
  17. Have you tried using the products (doubled sided tape, etc) to stop him from scratching what he shouldn't, and put up appropriate scratching posts for him? Both the corrugated cardboard kind and the big sturdy posts? seems that would be the first thing to do. sound like he's going to be indoors some of the time no matter what, so that needs to be addressed.
  18. Agreed. FWIW, two of our kids who had had fender benders while in high school, thus increased rates, did fine without vehicles the first two years of college. That meant no auto insurance premiums had to be paid during that time, and their rates had come down when they again needed insurance. It’s a hard lesson, but unless you have a spare chunk of cash laying around to fix the house, going through insurance seems the only thing to do. Insurance companies definitely do go after each other all the time. Best thing is that no one was hurt and that you are understanding of your dd’s circumstances.
  19. Yeah, soccer, and cub scouts, and attending his parish church are all more important when parents aren't always around. I make choices that prioritize DS2 over his brothers all the time. I mean, I don't have a choice. This past weekend, I had two sick kids. I've never left my kids without a parent when they were sick, but I had to choose, and so, of course I chose DS2 who was in PICU over DS1 who was home on the couch. In this situation, though, if it's a choice between what DS2 needs emotionally (and I'm pretty sure that upending our schedule so that I can attend Mass wouldn't actually help, but if I thought it would) and what DS3 needs emotionally (Dad at one game in a month), I can choose DS3.
  20. That was probably just me that was suggesting stopping soccer. My reason was coming from a moral compass, not simply to “make life easier.” It sounded like her Dh was only missing Mass because of a commitment to attending soccer games or other things. My parents would have been like Mass is more important than sports. If it is interfering that much then it’s a poor family fit. But I wasn’t aware that her Dh had obstacles no matter what he chose to do. Maybe he needs to talk to the priest himself and come to a conclusion about what is best. Also, if the father’s presence at the games is that important and he can’t go without sacrificing sleep or Mass, I think that could be setting the kids up for unrealistic expectations. All these decisions send a message about values. I was looking at it that way.
  21. Back from the weekend showing people around! Lots and lots of steps! 12.7K yesterday and 18.5K today. Back to OT tomorrow, but waaaay less steps! Also ate a few things that weren't on my regular diet - back to being a bit more strict. Dh put new batteries in my scale when I was gone, so that is very good!
  22. I know you don't need the validation, because I can tell you know you are doing the right thing, but you are coming from exactly the right place in trying to keep your other children's lives as stable as possible. It's the number one thing they need in times like this, as every single Child Life Specialist and child therapist told me (and there were a lot). The number of people who tried to get me to pull my kids from their activities because it would make my life easier or because we had so much going on...I know they're coming from a place of concern, but my concern is for my children's well being and that relies heavily on them believing their world will keep on turning somewhat normally. Sorry, when all the "maybe just pull them from soccer" comments started I just went, "NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo"
  23. My 12 yo son needs a good spelling program. I have chosen Spelling You See but I’m not sure if it’s the best choice for him. We are in Classical Conversations Challenge A so a program that is not simple and short will not work for us. He’s not a terrible speller. He had learned a lot of spelling simply by copying however I’m seeing that he needs better spelling instruction. I appreciate your thoughts!
  24. Well I figured out why his arm wasn't clearing up as well as I thought it ought. Turns out the benadryl I had was 20 months expired, oops. So I went to the store and got a fresh box tonight. Hopefully that will be the end of it!
  25. I went to see it with a friend last week, and we both enjoyed it, despite her only having seen a few of the early episodes. I was *so* relieved nothing particularly mean happened to anyone. *phew*
  26. So very cute! Our cocker spaniel had similar coloring.
  27. Any British humor? I loved watching Mr. Bean when I was younger.
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