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  2. When I've felt like talking to the salesperson more than usual I've said something like, "I know you have a spiel and you're supposed to say X but can we just discuss Y for a bit?". Someone who actually has sales experience can switch gears and talk to me about what they're selling, with more than just the sales pitch. Those who are inexperienced or took the sales job temporarily always get flummoxed. Unfortunately many of them are young people who were tricked into thinking they could make good money when in fact they're working on commission (another reason to learn basic logic).
  3. Agree completely. I think it's dependent on personality and some kids with adhd are easier going and others might be more easily irritated and angered. Emotional outbursts and lack of emotional regulation were the biggest problems for my daughter. Age helped but meds helped too. Also lack of emotional control can lead to anxiety because you always are feeling out of control. Often, too, my daughter would seek conflict because it meant she was able to release all the pent up fear, anger, etc all on me. She didn't know how to process it or even what she was feeling in the first place. She was just anxious, overwhelmed and angry all the time.
  4. I understand that too. Oldest dd has gotten a job near her college (2 hours away) that pays more money than the one she had near "home." So she has decided to sublet an apartment for the summer so she can work nearly full time and go to summer school. I was thinking she would come home this summer, work at job near home, do online summer school. If not to be near us, then to be closer to boyfriend (who lives near "home" not near college). I just didn't expect this abrupt shift. Homeschool was my life, my job, my passion, my service to my family. It served dc well. Oldest is International Deans List, Phi Theta Kappa, etc. Youngest has a 3.8 GPA, Mu Alpha Theta and is looking forward to transitioning from CC to University. I've never been a helicopter mom and I've encouraged their independence. But, I always thought there was a difference between independence and being uninterested. Oldest isn't interested in my life or her sibling's life. Although finals will be over, she isn't coming home for my birthday weekend either. Just an odd time of transition for me....
  5. I'd say this person probably has an alcohol use disorder or is on their way to developing one. There are many alcoholics who can stop for long periods of time and who are not walking around drunk. I think we need to really understand that these are not reliable flags because many alcoholics can meet that threshold. Alcohol tolerance goes up with use so with time, alcoholics can appear stone sober (they work, drive, socialize) with huge amounts of alcohol on board. Many can also stop for periods of time. I'd want to do the following: count accurately (be sure you know exactly how big the drink is, how big the wine glass, how many fingers in that glass really) ... and then figure out if most weeks are 15 or over, and/or if there are days of 5 or over (those numbers are for men; for women the problem is 8/week & 4/day) and/or if the person ever has an eye-opener (ie drink in the morning) then there is a problem right now. If the numbers are a bit lower, then I'd say the problem is just around the corner. one stressor - job change, promotion, job loss, children's problem, move, death in the family etc.... just one of those can tip the person over into a really huge problem Even without a stressor, unless this person actively chooses a different intervention, this will likely escalate until it becomes a problem affecting life & family. (& it probably already is a problem in terms of liver health). Also be aware that as you age, liver and kidneys slow down clearing rates so blood alcohol levels stay up longer which may have implications for driving. I'd say the person needs treatment. Not necessarily an anti depressant, but maybe try it again, maybe a different one with fewer side effects. Maybe therapy. Maybe meditation and exercise and reflection could help. Alcohol loosens inhibition and does change things. A skilled mental health professional could potentially help the person address why those aspects of personality are being suppressed without alcohol. Not denying that there are biochemical issues as well, but sometimes introspection and changing habits are also helpful - we can change our outlooks and our behaviour.
  6. I totally understand wanting to know what it will cost. Unfortunately, there is not a simple answer to that question. You may already do these things, but here is what I do whenever possible: 1. Is the doctor in-network? What is your co-pay to see a specialist? 2. When you make the appointment, I'd ask what tests the doctor is likely to perform during the appointment. Then I'd check my insurance benefits to see what my deductible/co-insurance will be for those tests. (With ours, some tests are covered in full while the deductible and co-insurance apply for others.) Get procedure codes and call your insurance company if you're unsure. 3. For additional tests after the appointment, again, I'd get procedure codes and call the insurance company to make sure it's covered or if pre-approval is needed or anything. Depending on what's ordered, I'd find out if it's more cost-effective to go to one specific type of in-network facility vs. another. (For instance, having an MRI done at a free-standing facility as opposed to the hospital.) 4. For labs, make sure the samples are going to an in-network facility. (Don't just take the office staff's word for it. Check with your insurance. I almost got burned once to the tune of thousands of dollars because the office sent samples to an in-network lab they'd always used. However, it had recently stopped being in-network, and they didn't know.) 5. Make sure the radiologist or other providers involved are also in-network, even if you're going to an in-network facility. Find out how the insurance company handles that. I've had times where I'd be responsible for anything an out-of-network provider billed and an instance where the insurance had some special provision and I didn't have to pay it. I just don't assume anything anymore. I'm sure other posters will have additional or better ideas. Hope the problem turns out to be minor.
  7. As a child of two alcoholic fathers, I would call that alcoholic. He backs off because he knows it's a problem. In time, more drinks will be needed to maintain that level of good feelings.
  8. I liked the If I live series too! A couple of ideas for your audiobook search....... a couple of all time favorites Anna Lee Huber’s Lady Darby series. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13542496-the-anatomist-s-wife CS Harris Sebastian St. Cyr series https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39149.What_Angels_Fear?ac=1&from_search=true and Lee Child’s Reacher just because I am back to reading those. 😂 Eta Julia Spencer Fleming is good on audio too.https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/113002.In_the_Bleak_Midwinter?ac=1&from_search=true I have been rereading Sayers and Christie by audiobook whenever possible in recent months. I love having them read to me!
  9. Ok, I'm looking into this tylenol and MTHFR thing. https://www.checkupnewsroom.com/a-pediatricians-goes-in-depth-into-mthfr/ This is where your ped is coming from, and I kind of agree. The MTHFR thing is generalizing a lot from single SNPs (pairs of alleles) and people are drawing pretty sweeping conclusions. So I can see why your doc was like that's a little vague to say that's why someone is or is not ok with their tylenol dose. You really might be onto something there, but it's not really a tight correlation. With some of these SNPs they're testing, they have really tight data. If you look at the Genesight sample reports, you'll see specific alleles (SNPs) and specific meds. This is data that is published data, and Genesight is just pulling it into one place and making it easy. Really tight data, like a population had this variant and they responded poorly to this medication. Really tight. Here's the link again. https://webapps.myriad.com/find-provider-assurex/?bypassmodal=true I'm not sure where you are, but I'm turning up quite a few hits in Missisippi, enough that you might be able to get someone. There are nurse practitioners, pdocs, all kinds of options.
  10. This is just beyond awful. It’s beyond evil. I don’t even have words to describe it. It is so hard to watch the news coverage because it’s so heartbreaking. 😞
  11. I have a young adult that I am working with who has severe ADD. She is on medication, when she remembers to take it. She is bright, likeable and an out-of-the-box thinker, but she’s headed for flunking out of cc and possibly losing a great opportunity that she’s excelling in because she is not able to consistently get there on time. She could do very well in her classes if only she would do the work. My normal thought for someone making these mistakes is that they will have to suffer the consequences of their actions and, hopefully, learn from them. In this case, because of the ADD, I wonder if there are additional tools out there that might help her. She’s working full time, heavily involved in a college activity related to her work that she is absolutely passionate about and going to college part-time. So, definitely not lazy, but she has very poor executive function skills. I’d be grateful for any resources or suggestions that might help me help her.
  12. Minimal school today. Just reading and a writing page. Cleaning place again. Exterminators coming today. Park later Went to after Easter sale and she got several puzzles cheap. So she will be working on puzzles today too.
  13. I don't know about MTHFR and tylenol, hmm. I'll look into it, didn't realize there was a connection. You seem to have a hard time getting intelligent care where you are. I think the thing with genetics and using it for psychiatric care, medication choices, etc. is newer. It's a big deal though and it's not like this is out there or extreme or something. It's just maybe not something a gp does. It's more like go to a geneticist if you think there's a global problem or the specialist you're seeing for a specific problem might want to know about targeted things. Lots of care now is pigeon-holed. But yeah, kinda makes you wonder why mental health care is so superficial when we can actually run genetics now and be targeted and safer.
  14. Mono......for years after my first bout with mono my glands swelled hugely any time I was ill. I had some hair pulled out once that somehow affected a lymph node three inched above the hair loss. The node stayed swollen for almost a year.
  15. Roadrunner, as others have said, I have had my short person just email the math department. We just got back (Saturday night) from a visit to a large state university. We spent one day on the generic, cattle-call tours, which were fine. The next day was dedicated to math: In response to her email, they arranged for her to attend an upper division math class, meet with the freshman advising team, sit down with the department head, and talk to the department's honors college liaison. Day 2 was NOTHING like Day 1 and very much worth the time invested.
  16. He could run genetics to try to sort the anti-depressants and vitamin D out. 23andme testing and you can run the raw data through knowyourgenetics.com or promothease . It will show the vitamin D defect, and he may need to take his D up higher or add k2 for that. For optimizing the meds, Genesight testing. It may be covered by insurance and is capped at $330. They have a provider locator.
  17. My grandparents generation (born in the 1910s) believes in a night cap. For them, it was usually brandy or beer rather than wine. It makes them sleep better (maybe psychologically or biologically). A good night sleep helps them be in a better mood the next day.
  18. Ha, I have had this experience many times looking at new cars. How much is the car? Well, come inside and let us check your credit. What the what! At this one particular dealership I was not the only person who could not get a price out of them. It was insanity.
  19. My son didn't need to pre-read until Intermediate Algebra-- and then he only did it a few times. But as the class seemed to go much faster than his previous ones (or there was more information to cover, or the information was in much bigger text chunks) so he found he needed to have a little familiarity with the concepts beforehand to be able to keep up.
  20. To me it is the ritual. I am that way. Even with something as non controversial as coffee....If I don't have my cup of coffee in the morning things feel off for me. Sometimes I don't even like the way it tastes. I will sometimes just hold it in my hands and take a few sips over the course of an hour of watching the news with dh in bed. And I can see myself being the same way with a glass of two of wine in the evening. When I have thought I needed to cut back for whatever reason (finances, weight, just drinking more than I should) I have sometimes replaced it with a cup of herbal tea. So I don't think a person who is cranky without his nightly ritual is necessarily an addict.
  21. Is there an underlying problem of anxiety?
  22. I am one who thinks small amounts of alcohol (controlled as you described) can be as effective as prescription medication. I'm not sure a drink or two is worse on your body than the equivalent in prescription drugs, but I'm not a doctor. I think the reason that the "alcohol effect" carries over to the next day when not drinking is because if someone is relaxed in the evening and feeling good, that carries over for a while -- kind of like an object in motion tends to stay in motion, a person in a good mood tends to stay in a good mood. 🙂 I think it's good that this person is aware of his drinking and is concerned about over-consuming. I'm hoping that will keep consumption in check. However, I see no harm in modest drinking (1 - 2 drinks a day), if it doesn't escalate beyond that.
  23. Again, my post was about how the legal punishment for a violent, illegal act against other people (I actually specified that too) should not be effected by what happened to the perpetrator in the past and had nothing to do with their victims. <<<---- added that addendum so that no one will shoot back a hypothetical "killed my rapist" story. **we are talking about people who abuse children** I said, too, that compassion because of circumstances is up to God and the victims. But that it can be given while they serve their time as well as not. There is no societal need for accountability for the victims of suicide. Obviously, you know this.
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