I had mine out as an adult and wonder that my mother didn't ignore my fears and make me have it done when I was a kid.

I've run into bears in the woods and I've run into men in the woods. My reaction was more fearful with the bear, but not much. I've never stayed up at night worried about a bear coming back to attack me because it was pissed off. That has happened to me backpacking.

Saw the spine specialists today! They’re convinced it’s all muscular, but could take up to 6 weeks to fully recover. 😞 More meds and a chiro referral. No more excruciating pain, just nearly constant soreness and annoyance! Dh is on vacation next week and we’re both going to be miserable as I instruct him on getting my plants into the ground! 😳

The culture of the trades has changed over the decades. One can read books about them, back in the day, gathering in pubs to discuss left wing political papers. Now they vote for right wing parties who spout pleasing nastiness about people who aren't like them, without noticing that those parties don't like them either. I don't think we should blame feminism for what Capitalism has done.

Since I believe I'm the only one who said 'living in fear's I'm going to assume you are referring to my post. But I was replying to someone saying another poster lives a privileged life for not experience daily fear. One can take precautions against men without fear.

Agree with that. I assumed the scenario was a single bear. Mother and cubs, different story. Still an interesting thought experiment.

Honestly, it was more of a rhetorical question 😆. Yeah, we’re in black bear country, too. Our backyard borders completely wild forest. I do not enjoy being surprised by them, but of course we don’t mess with them. The specific TikTok mentioned is in response to the general question going around the internet to women - would you rather run into a bear or a man in the woods - and some men’s outrage to the response, which has been bear. Bears almost never attack unprovoked. Women (as a whole) are frequently attacked by men (as a whole) in comparison.

I’d probably prefer to take my chances with the man than get between a mother bear and her cubs.

I know this has been discussed before. If you’ve had this done for your child, how do you feel now? How long ago was the surgery, results, pain/recovery? An ENT is encouraging us to do this. I know if I told my dad he’d have a fit staying that it’s part of your immune system and not something that should be tampered with. Dd tested positive for strep again. This is happening a couple times a year. She sat out of swim part of the school year because she’s constantly getting sick/issues with ears. I don’t think tubes were recommended. Swim was just a 9 week class. But I would like to take the kids swimming this summer if it wasn’t such an issue. the thoughts on this topic probably change every so often so I wanted a new thread. Xh called asking for my opinion. I told him it doesn’t really matter as he has the final say but perhaps a little time to research before moving forward. Thank you

Funny. If you take precautions against bears in the woods, that’s just smart, sensible. But if you take precautions against men with bad intentions you are “living in fear”.

Yup. If it's a grizzly or polar bear, then I chose the man. No hesitation. If it's a black bear... I hesitate. I'm not sure if it's rational, but definitely an interesting thought experiment.

Thank you all for your answers!

This is a rabbit trail (bear path?) but I really wish I'd never heard of Israel Keyes. Before knowing about him, I really wasn't ever scared hiking alone, backpacking with just other women, but sheesh. He ruined that for me. Is he a ridiculous outlier? Yes. But did he make me realize that just because I'm out in nature the people I encounter are likely to be good and/or safe? Yeah. It's like lightening. I take a lot of precautions around lightening when I'm outside. I also take precautions when I'm out in nature. If there's a lightening storm, I'm scared. If I encounter a man who does anything aggressive or angry, I'm scared. And the fear I feel is about the same in both of those scenarios.

If it’s a random man, you have no idea of his intentions or proclivities or what he might do in a situation where no one was watching. A bear is a bear. They aren’t inherently interested in humans, they don’t have dark fantasies or hidden attractions. They might kill you, but they also might wander away, the certainly won’t r*pe or torture you or lock you in a basement.

I'm just not sure what any of this has to do with the topic of a man choosing to leave his daughter alone in the woods with a bear or a man.

@silver for lit really just reading books and discussing them. I use guides when I can find them to help with questions but there will be no output. I usually have some notes on hand from the discussions just in case, but not always. For some of the books we will listen to the literary life podcast episodes about the books.

I never said anything about fear. I just pointed out that those “sensible precautions” we all take every day are predominantly precautions against the actions of a strange man. You are highly unlikely to ever be attacked walking to your car or getting gas. But if you are it’s far likelier to be by a man than a woman, and very, very unlikely to be a wild animal. When we say “sensible precautions” we are leaving unsaid that they are mostly precautions against a man with bad intentions.

I, too, would use the highest deductible I can afford to cover.

That is simply not true though. Not living in fear of men doesn't mean your life is privileged. It can simply mean you are not a person who lives in fear. I have been sexually assaulted. It happened in highschool at a friend's house by her brother. Despite that incident I've never been fearful of random men simply because I'm alone with them. I've been on alert in certain situations and have separated myself from men but it was not fear based. I am constantly aware of my surroundings and I know how to defend myself if I need to. But I am not afraid to walk down a sketchy street alone at night (not that I go out of my way to do it.) My dh, who is a professional martial artist and has fought in amateur cage fights is more uneasy on an unfamiliar street at night than I am.

got the party detail email sent out, heading to tutoring

Oh, good! I'm glad it's just a cold and not anything more serious. I hope both of you are feeling better soon!

Precautions are different from fear, though. You can take sensible precautions like that without actually being afraid.

The vast majority of the time. It is highly unlikely that a random man who happens to be in the woods and comes across a random human female (it isn't clear to me how old this person is supposed to be) is going to do anything bad to her. Even if he has a history as a domestic violence perpetrator. Because the key word there is domestic.

You seriously take no precautions for safety? You don’t park under lights if you’re leaving after dark, or make sure to have your keys out? You let your kids go to whoever’s house and spend the night?

I don’t know. I’d link the article but pretty sure it’s behind a paywall. I think the transition away from lucrative manual jobs (there are some, just fewer of them) has left a lot of men unable to leverage what seem like natural gifts and braun. I also think those strict gender roles and male hegemony has both hampered and protected men and boys (who have performed in mediocre ways in school for a long time) from experiencing the consequences of that. What’s worse is that men my age and older don’t seem to have any clue just how underprepared/under-qualified they are compared to the female applicants we have. I have said this before but men are often affirmative action hires in my line of work. Their people and writing skills, in particular, are a challenge. Found it: https://www.economist.com/leaders/2024/03/14/making-sense-of-the-gulf-between-young-men-and-women?utm_campaign=a.special-edition-newsletter&utm_medium=email.internal-newsletter.np&utm_source=salesforce-marketing-cloud&utm_term=20240330&utm_content=ed-picks-image-link-2&etear=nl_special_2&utm_campaign=a.special-edition-newsletter&utm_medium=email.internal-newsletter.np&utm_source=salesforce-marketing-cloud&utm_term=3/30/2024&utm_id=1870978